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the-orange-tabby-cat · 8 months

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Wings Of The Dawn | Chapter 1

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pairing: joel miller x fem!reader Rating: 18+ eventually | first chapters free of smut Tags: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Slow Build, Friends to Lovers, Age Difference, Small Town Dynamics, No use of y/n Word count: 7.5k Late A/N: Howdy! I re-edited this chapter (just the text layout, nothing about its content) to be more in sync with the writing style of the rest of the story. All changes were on the text structure, not the story.

Summary: You are Jackson's librarian, a doll with a good heart, that has your life changed when a handsome man decides to take his kid and start again in your small town after completing their cross country journey. Having a hard time ignoring Joel's dark brown eyes, you find yourself wishing to have him close as you both navigate through love triangles, teenage drama, city gossip, and ghosts from both of your pasts. This is a comfort fic filled with slow burn and small town dynamics.

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CHAPTER 1

"You have searched me, Lord, and you know me.

You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.

You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.

Before a word is on my tongue; you, Lord, know it completely.

You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain."

Psalm 139:1-6

The green of the moss was brighter after the early morning rain, the droplets of water made the color pop as the ground absorbed all the night's moisture. Into the mountains, deep in the woods, the river followed its gentle course, while its cold water was now sharper from the rain. Shades of light pink and orange filled the horizon line with the sunrise. Jackson was mostly asleep, enjoying the peaceful start of the day, just the bird tweets filling the city atmosphere. In the early hours of the day, the orange tabby cat tried to chase the swallows down the porch. The flock flew through the sky seconds before the cat’s attack.

"Better luck next time, baby," you exclaimed while petting the cat's head. It was a classic morning action up to this point: the bird's early chants with the cat (attempt at) hunting. Over the last three years, not even once has the cat been able to attack their prey, but the lack of self-awareness seems endearing to you.

It was somewhat after 5 a.m., not that you cared that much, the sunrise sky was one of the simple pleasures you could still slurp on. Sometimes, if you let your mind wander enough, there was a sense of mundane in it, just peace. The cat started to purr while rubbing its face on your calves, bringing you back to reality. It was a spring morning, and you were on your porch up your feet with your pajamas.

"Hungry? C'mon, I will get you something," you echoed to the creature's delight.

The city was slowly gaining new sounds as the time went by. You could hear from your kitchen the horse's blow coming from a recent patrol, the neighbor’s baby crying, and the final chant of the birds that the cat tried to hunt earlier. You changed your clothes, wishing for a cold day, not early summer weather, and left your house to walk down the wet pavement in the direction of Nath’s house. The sky still held the light pink and orange shades, making a pleasant view as you hurry your steps. Inside your head, you were reviewing the day's tasks, "wake up Nath, attend the council meeting, get more food supplies for the cat and me," not much going on.

If you were honest, the easy, simple life wasn't entirely your heart's desire. You knew Jackson was probably the best option for you out there after the outbreak. You were soft, and the idea of safety was enough for you over the last three years. But sometimes, just sometimes, you couldn’t help but wonder if following your routine and finding your house empty once you left work wasn't starting to get on your nerves.

You shook that thought from your head as you got to Nath’s front door, slowly twisting the doorknob. Of course, she left it unlocked, you were the best alarm she ever had – her words. On the kitchen countertop were some tea bags with a mug on the side, and the kettle already had water on, just waiting for someone to turn on the stove. You scowled while making you both a cup of tea, her with less sugar.

Holding both mugs, you went down the hall, using your hips to open the already open door of her bedroom even wider.

"Wake up, lazy ass, we have 15 minutes" Nath opened one eye slowly as she heard you scream.

“Strawberry tea? Little sugar?” she replied as you shoved the mug in front of her face, taking a small sip while smiling a little. Your only response was to roll your eyes, "What would I do without you? You know that you are the early bird from us two," she endorsed you with a playful look.

"If somebody told me that I would have to wake up your lazy ass every morning, I would have preferred to be Maria's best friend," you glared as she sat down, wholly offended by your statement.

She knew you were only joking, but you couldn't help but smile to her absolute horror. The short blonde hair was all over her face, and the small almond dark blue eyes wide shot made the scene even better.

“Just put something on, we don’t have the whole day, we can eat at the Bison after the meeting.”

"Yeah, by "we can eat" you mean "you can cook me something." Unbelievable, you make me one cup of tea and already think that you can shout me orders," she replied after gulping part of the strawberry tea, jumping out of bed.

She wasn't entirely wrong; the Tipsy Bison, Jackson’s only bar, was hers after her granddad passed away a few years back. With an impressive number of two staffs, including Nath herself, she was your barman and chef most of the times.

As you two walked to the mess hall, you pondered how you were quite different despite being close in age. Nath had just celebrated her 34th birthday during winter, and you were just a couple of years younger. She seemed more juvenile than you, starting with her wardrobe. While you were with the combo of a long skirt and a shirt with the sleeves down your elbow - a heritage of your upbringing - she wore low-rise jeans and a pale blue t-shirt written: "Keep staring, I might do a trick." Charming. She also had a tomboy way of life, speaking the first thing that came to her mind, which, as you got closer to the mess hall was starting to worry you.

“Hey, Dolly." Alfie nodded in your direction, his green eyes bright with a small smile. You smiled back at your politeness, even though you hated the nickname.

You felt Nath exhale hard next to you. Maria was all joy as the rest of the council spoke about her pregnancy in the corner. With hands softly caressing her belly and her dark skin glowing in the yellow light of the mess hall, it was easy to see her as a non-threatening figure, despite Nath constant banter of how much she didn't see in this madonna image in her. Nath came from a founder family of Jackson just like the pregnant woman, which was the origin of her beef with Maria and constant animosity.

"I can't believe she uses it to get more attention," you look at Nath while raising your eyebrows.

"Well, her belly is getting bigger, and a child is a small miracle, especially nowadays." Nath rolled her eyes at you, and you felt missing something.

“You see, that shit you speak is how I know for sure that you grew up Mormon. Small miracle my ass”, she retorted getting herself a chair, still moody.

Oh. Yeah, sometimes your mind formed phrases that sounded much more like your mother than yourself, that being one of them. You felt your face heaten as the council sat in a circle right at the center of the hall, waiting for the spokesperson of the day to start.

“Good morning, I hope nobody got bitten by the bed bugs today.” Chad started with positivity that filled your heart with joy. Despite being the tallest man around, his face was constantly an open invitation to sweet talk, with round cheeks and a soft gaze. “Edwin, could you please read for us the topics in discussion today?”

"Okay, we have the new division of this season's crops" the old man said looking in Chad's direction with his glasses low at his nose, "The dam amendment before raining season", Edwin continued, now pointing a finger towards Alfie, "and the new residents". Maria chewed the inside of her cheek, and you immediately sensed something.

The council was one of Jackson’s pillars as an independent society. A collaborative system, no more currencies in paper money, and a collective mind elected for the community's well-being. At least this is how Nath convinced you to accept the position a year ago after nominating you for one of the six positions and, somehow, convincing the other citizens to vote for you. It took you months to learn that she used her influence with more than just arguments to have you there.

"I needed someone I could trust, and I can't let Maria have everything her way. People already think that she owns this city. You’re my friend, and I would follow you without holding back. Plus, I need someone to help me develop my brilliant plans", she argumented one day after you put some pressure on why she thought having you as part of the council would thrive.

Three women and three men were elected by the people every two summers. As spring was coming to its middle, you started to wonder if you would continue as part of it by summer or if you would be taken off. "Odd years we have elections, right years we vote to take out council members. If one of us gets voted out, we make a whole new election, Dolly", Edwin explained with a stern voice to you once. You didn't know if it made you calmer or restless.

The meeting went smoothly, a little bickering between Nath and Maria as always, but nothing new. They were constantly up on each other necks, and at this point, everybody already understood it as normal behavior. Chad offered to help the mess hall kitchen with the menu for this season greens and fruits, Alfie would open a few positions to get more hands on the dam, all good.

"I believe we can follow with your topic," Edwin pointed vaguely toward Maria. The older man looked like a villain from a child's cartoon: full gray hair, short in stature, thin frame, and a hook nose that only amplified the villainess type by having his glasses at the tip of it. His stern voice had a neutral tone, with no menace behind it, but as Maria started to speak, you again noticed something was off.

"As you might recall, Tommy's brother came to Jackson with a girl last winter. On the occasion, they had to finish a trip to the west, despite being told that this city would welcome them." She lifted her head and cleared her throat, "Two days ago, they completed their journey to finding their way back to our city, they already have been provided a house and some basics for a new life. The girl will start school in a few days. I know that normally I'm the one that coordinates the new welcomers. Still, this time being family, I thought it would be better to involve the council on it."

"Wait, two days ago, right?" Nath asked Maria, who replied with a single nod, "So they came by the track near the river to the city?" Something clicked inside your head, and you quickly looked at Maria waiting for confirmation.

She nodded again, "I think so," she simply pondered.

Two days ago, Nath appeared at the library's back house. As the weather got warmer, you and her got into a small routine: bicycle rides in the woods with river swimming at the end. Entering the library, she screamed for you, "You can work on books every day, but this weather is one in a lifetime!" She wasn't wrong, the winter had been a little cruel to you, and you both craved warmer days. You started sweating a bit from how warm the day had begun, hair up and everything, dreaming of some coolness. For once in a long time you accepted that despite being a very responsible city librarian and archivist, you could give yourself a break and followed her to the city gate.

Of course, the bicycles had seen better days, but you worked with what you had. They were a gift from Alfie, who found them a while back and made some improvements to you both. Nath spent the whole week teasing you that he would try to find any excuse to be close to you, going for as much as giving her a gift. The path between the trees and the open field was easy, the only snow at the peak of the mountains surrounding Jackson, and no risk of slip and fall.

Nath was rambling about how she thought this was the year she would meet the love of her life, "I can feel it, I swear to God!" she giggled as you both went a slight fast downhill.

"You say that every new season, plus you don't even believe in God," you retorted, amused by her joy.

"I don't, but you do. Do you believe I’ll find love this time?" she asked, smiling at you.

You slowed down a bit, taken by surprise. You didn't know when it was the last time you had faith in a creator, in something looking above for you. It had been a while since you had fully believed in something out-worldly. It was tied with memories you couldn't fully deal with yet.

"I do, Nath, I truly do." You said, smiling lopsided in her direction. A little bit of positivity wouldn’t bite back.

She pedaled faster and screamed from the front, "Told ya, sucker!”

The river wasn't that deep up on the hills. It was no more than a bit after noon, meaning that you could have a lot of daylight to enjoy the day and still go back. You both stripped into the underwear, the long-forgotten swimwear with the other pleasures of pre-outbreak. During the heat waves days, Nath would get bold and be topless by the river despite your warning that it was reckless behavior. Today you both were wearing a full set of underwear. It was the first hot day, not even proper hot.

“Holy shit, I can feel my uterus giving me hell," Nath said, retorting her face while stepping on the river margins, her feet touching the cold water.

"Cramps?" you asked as she made faces towards the sky. The apparent truth of the cold waters of Wyoming being constant, even more during spring, didn't matter that much, you both could deal with it for a free day.

As time passed and you got tired of swimming, you decided to get sun on your skin in the meadow nearby, still in Nath's eyesight. She was the reckless one, the bad influence, you still thought this was the outbreak, and some sense of safety was important. As you walked chasing the sun, you felt the soil getting stuck in the soft skin of your feet, the leaves and dirt making you jump a bit. The sky was mostly blue, and you could feel your skin getting warmer as you got closer to the sunlight.

"Are you getting hungry? I think we still have about two hours before getting to the city gate," a low register man's voice asked nearby. The hair in your arms and neck lifted, and your breathing started to get quicker. You tried to find from where the voice was coming to be able to hide from it.

"Not really," a girl answered it, a flat delivery. Your nipples were stiff from the panic of not being alone, you became aware of your state. The wet cream bra was transparent, the wet panties showing more than you felt comfortable of yourself.

You had nothing to fight back if they attacked you, vulnerable and shivering from the cold air getting in touch with your wet body. Staring to chatter teeth, you tried to get back for the river and alert Nath slowly but stepped on a stick, making some noise.

“What was that?” the girl asked, now putting more life in her voice. You quickly hid behind a nearby tree from the direction of the voice, your heart beating faster.

"Probably an animal. I haven't heard anything", the man said back after a few seconds, in a gentle tone.

You tried to spy from your hiding spot as you sensed they were moving downhill. The girl was at the front wearing a white and red plaid shirt and jeans, her hair up. From behind, you could only notice how small she seemed next to the man, reaching no more than his shoulders. The man was tall, with broad shoulders and a longer hair with salt and pepper. His dark gray shirt did not contrast his dark jeans, he was carrying a backpack, a gun carefully put on his jeans at the right side. You shivered, noticing it. As you felt they were getting far, you decided to look better and fully stepped on in front of the tree you were using to hide. Unfortunately, it was the exact moment that the man decided to look back.

You only got a glimpse of his face before hiding again, his dark brown eyes and strong nose burned inside your head. Your breath started to rise again. Now you had no idea if it was by fear of him being armed or because you noticed that the stranger was handsome. There were no sounds of footsteps towards or downwards, just the river and birds filling the air. After what seemed to be a lifetime, the girl came back.

"Joel, let's go! I want to get there for dinner time," she urged him. He sighed in response.

"Thought you weren't hungry," he replied grumpily as they continued their path toward what seemed to be Jackson.

You waited a few seconds more and went straight to Nath, who continued on her lazy journey of doing nothing. Getting closer to her, you whispered.

"Hey, hey, look at me: There was a man and a kid walking nearby. I think they are going to Jackson as well. His name is Joel, do you know him?"

"Joel? I don't think so. Wait, are you sure that they were going to Jackson? Damn, we have no weapons with us," Nath replied while putting her clothes back, you did the same. It was no longer a lazy day but a refuge that got caught. You both decided to return to the city using the longer path, unwilling to cross ways with the strangers.

You came back from your memory as Nath sucked her cheek while crossing her arms in front of her chest, looking in front of her and then back to Maria.

"They have been here before, right? I didn't catch their names," she inquired.

"Joel and Ellie, and yes, just like I said, they were here last winter" Maria said, softer than expected. From her seat, Nath locked eyes with you, in your mind flashed the sight of dark eyes and a strong nose.

“You mean that you want us to decide where your brother-in-law will be starting to give back to the city?" Alfie asked, mouth open while resting an elbow at his knee, getting closer to Maria, his accent thicker as he phrased.

“Something like that. Tommy said he used to be a contractor. They worked together before the outbreak. He traveled from Boston to here by feet with a young girl if this means something to any of you." Putting her hand on her belly, Maria looked at you. "Dolly, do you have any insights? You seem quieter today than usual."

“I think you should ask Alfie’s opinion on it. We just spoke about getting more hands to work on the dam. Am I right?"

Alfie smiled, showing his teeth to you despite you being oblivious to its meaning. You honestly had no idea why he was always so gentle with you, but now wasn't the time to figure it out.

The whole council was looking at him. Maria seemed impatient, Nath was still merged in her thoughts, Chad and Edwin were waiting. Alfie took another look at you before speaking, "If he has the skills and the willingness to help, I can't see why this would be a problem. When can he start?"

“Let’s make it soon as possible, shall we?” Maria said, getting up, her hand still upon her belly. "Do we have any more topics, or this is it?"

With that, the meeting was done. Everyone got to their primary jobs: Edwin to the clinic where he was the doctor, Chad to the city garden, Maria to coordinate the patrols, and Nath to the Tipsy Bison. You were slowly walking to catch Nath when Alfie started to walk with you.

"Do you like Mexican food?" he asked, looking into your eyes.

He was somewhat close to you, making his freckles even more visible. He was clean-shaved, but his stubborn 5 o'clock shadow continued there. His strong brows and deep, dark short hair made him very masculine, even with softer features. The eyes, green with a hint of brown, were so sweet, holding your gaze.

“Uhm, I think so. I can't say that I have eaten a lot of it before. Why?" you pondered, stopping on the mostly dry pavement. Alfie was a handsome and sweet man, he had been trying to get some excuses to talk with you over the last few months, and you found a reason to get away every single time.

“Amazing! Then you will try my food. It won’t be fully authentic because I can’t find everything here, of course, but Catarina wanted to eat quesadillas and thought you would like them too." His thick accent, combined with his beautiful smile, made you consider his proposal this time.

“Well, if it is Cat’s idea, why not?” He smiled even wider with your response. “Do you have a date in mind?”

“Oh, no, no, n-not a date, Dolly!” He raised his hands in front of him in panic, eyes widening as he stuttered.

"I mean, if you have a day for it already. I understood what you meant, don't worry," you chuckled as he blushed.

“What about tomorrow night? Are you free?”

You nodded, "Yes Alfie, I am. See you then", finishing the sentence with a smile and leaving, finally, for the Tipsy Bison.

When you got to the bar, it was easy to sense some tension in the air. Seth, the barman and general helper, looked at you like you both had a secret. Nath was in the kitchen muttering something to Seth, unaware of your presence. You noticed that the bar was emptier than normal, squinting your eyes a bit at the older man as he finally gave in.

"Alright, you haven't heard from me, but Tommy's brother is making a hell of an impression," he whispered to you, furring your brows to him, you didn't have time to ask what he meant when Nath came from the kitchen holding two plates with sandwiches.

“Are you deaf? I said we need more chicken, go get some, the patrols will be here soon, man!” she impatiently rambled to him. You shared a look with Seth while he got his coat and left the bar.

Nath sighed and shook her head, "Seven years, I still have no clue what Pawpaw saw in that man."

Seth was one of the first residents outside the original families, setting down in Jackson a few months after the settlement. Nath’s granddad’s best man, she promised him that he could continue to work there at Bison, something that she still felt unsure about years after it.

“Seth is a kind man, I think you are just jealous because your grandpa gave him his baseball cap," you said, getting one of the plates in front of you.

“Yeah, I won't get over it," she replied, pouting a little and making you laugh.

"So, low movement today?" you asked through a bite of the sandwich. Nath looked back at you with intensity.

"Yeah, seems so, apparently, Tommy's brother, Joel," she stressed the name, "has a reputation for himself. Everyone wants to know how the hell he got able to travel this far with a kid. They are settled down near the cemetery, nearby here.”

"It's a small place. Everything isn't as far," you pondered with another bite. By the way her eyes were on your face, it was clear that she wanted to cut to the chase. “Do you remember his first time here, during the winter? Because I don’t, we haven’t crossed paths. I kept wondering what could have happened to us in the woods that day, we had no protection.”

She nodded deeply, took another bite, and turned her neck towards the door. Deep in thinking, she said, "We should get ourselves a gun for situations like this. I mean, I have mine, but you? Oh Doll, I know you by heart, you don't have a gun."

You rested your chin in your hand, she was right. In the years before Jackson the maximum you were allowed to have was a knife, your brother and father had done everything to protect you.

"My heart is soft, am I right?" you shrugged, Nath laughed, "But I can use a gun, I just chose not to use one still. Sometimes I forget that we are in a bubble."

If you had a gun with you, would it have been different two days ago in the woods? Maybe, but now you were sure: you needed one for minor emergencies. Still, even if you were paranoid about your little ritual with your friend, something about Joel gave you the feeling that you could trust him.

You were sure he saw you hiding and chose not to chase you down. The council hasn’t spoken a word about it, Maria seemed unaware of it as well. Not that you were obliged to stay inside at all times inside Jackson, but people knew you and Nath left the city space occasionally for a few hours. What people had no clue is that you left without any protection. And this is what could bring you problems.

“I’ll get you a gun, don’t worry. What librarian amazing adventures do you have planned today?" She took another bite, waiting for your response.

"Esther asked me to restore one of her books about sheep, something about their reproduction cycle. Don't ask me, I have no clue." Nath seemed amused enough by your response, frowning.

Esther took care of the sheep farm, a little further on the hills, a few miles from Jackson. She also spent a few days of the week with the sheep inside the city, enhancing why she needed to keep the formal process updated in case someone else had to do her function.

In case, everything after the outbreak has to be in case of something. In case I can't be back, in case something happens in the way, in case someone dies. Your reluctance to have your gun was because it made you blue to think about tomorrow with the tone of "what if?" You wanted to be free in a world that never allowed you to be. First, it was the religion, then the outbreak, and now your sense of preservation.

Outside the Bison, you heard Tommy's voice. You looked to picture what was happening and saw him speaking with a man with dark brown eyes and a strong nose. You stiffed a bit in your seat. Joel smiled back at his brother and joined him in the Bison.

“Gentleman, how can I help you?” Said Nath, already going to the other side of the counter.

Joel looked at you for a second. You felt your cheeks blush a bit but maintained the pose. You were right, he was handsome.

"This is Nath, the firecracker I told you about. Her family helped to create Jackson, she takes care of the bar with Seth." Tommy started his explanation to this brother, looking at the blonde woman waiting for some explanation of where Seth was.

“He went to get me some chicken for this afternoon patrol’s food.”

“Oh, well, you’ll meet him another time for sure!” Tommy continued and moved on to stay by your side.

“And this is the city librarian, she takes care of the books with her life and restores them as well. Needless to say, I don't spend much time in the library, but I know for a fact that our Dolly is taking good care of it." He put a hand on your shoulder while smiling big towards his brother.

“Dolly as in Dolly Parton?” Joel asked, his low register voice trying to sound amicable, even though his face was still somewhat menacing.

You took a good look at his face. The salt and pepper appeared more near his temples, with his hair making soft curls near his forehead. Beard was patchy with a prominent mustache, making his bottom lip appear even plushier. The nose shaped like a triangle, strong with a small scar near the bridge. His square face was adorned with a few moles and wrinkles, deeper near his eyes and between his brows. A quick thought of wanting to kiss every single one of them appeared in the back of your mind. You spoke before analyzing it.

“As in doll face. People around here seem to think that I'm some kind of sweet creature," you responded, doing your best to replicate his tone with you. Your smile wasn't genuine, but it seemed enough for Tommy to smile back.

The nickname was horrible. You hated it since the first time you heard it. It made you feel weak. You were the youngest of seven kids in a classic Mormon family from Utah, from the moment you came into this world your life revolved around the idea of being a pretty thing on someone's shelf.

Never smartest, never funnier, not even prettiest, but definitely the sweetest. Putting men's needs above yours, letting people choose your path, you were hoping that by the time you got into your thirties you would have this behind you, but from the day you got in Jackson and Eugene said you were a Dolly, everyone just bought it and voilà, back to the place you tried to run from your whole life.

“Uhm, and do you like it?” Joel asked. You furrowed your brows a bit, "Being called like that?" His eyes went back and forth between yours.

"Not really," you answered, no longer fake smiling. “Perhaps you can call me another thing if you prefer." You could feel Nath’s eyes looking at you.

"Give me your name, and I’ll call you by it," Joel continued, you grinned and said it. He repeated for you while staring still. No more than a few seconds passed before Tommy opened his mouth.

“Girls, always a pleasure. I have to continue introducing my brother here to the other council members. See you at the mess hall.” Tommy waved his goodbye, Joel said “ma’am” to Nath and your name for you as he bowed his head and followed his brother.

That night you took longer to sleep from overthinking how your name sounded right when coming from his lips.

---

Nath wasn't joking when she said she would find you a gun. Not that you believe she was joking, but you mistook her influence around the town. She took in some favors and got her hand on a pistol, the same one that she dropped softly in your hands to right after putting both of her hands on her hips.

"I won't lecture you about it, so you know safety pin, how to properly store when traveling, don't tell Maria, the usual shit." She sighed, looking around your backyard as you put the gun safe in a box. When you looked back at her, she continued. "So, the cowboy liked you, huh?"

"What cowboy?" you asked, putting the box away and plopping in a chair, the orange cat nestling in your lap.

"So we have more than one cowboy? Interesting," she laughed, and you rolled your eyes. "C'mon, you know which one, the stranger danger."

"We only saw him once, quit it. Besides, it was just southern politeness," you replied while petting the cat.

Nath hummed a bit. You felt her mind pondering something before she spoke again, "Okay, no more Texans then, what about the Mexicans? How was last night's dinner?"

You stopped a bit pouting, trying to think of how you could describe the experience. "It was nice, turns out I like quesadillas.”

“That’s it? This is your whole summary? Gotta give me more," Nath replied, and you did.

Alfie showed up later at the library while you were cleaning some shelves, you knew that it was him before looking behind you because of the smell of sawdust and wood.

“I noticed that I haven’t said what time you could come tomorrow. 7 p.m. is fine by you?" He asked after greeting you with a smile. You already had forgotten about the dinner by this time, still thinking of deep brown eyes, very different from the green ones staring at you.

"Yeah, of course, what kind of dessert Cat likes? I will bring something." You got a little closer to him with a book in your hands.

Most of the time when Alfie tried to get close to you, he was alone: walking you to your house late at night, sitting down at your table in the mess hall, bringing you something from the patrols. You always politely said no or excused yourself early, you had no idea why he insisted so much on you. But this time, since he said it was his teenage daughter's idea, you finally gave in.

“Don’t worry, we’ll enjoy everything you make. 7 p.m. then, we’ll be waiting!" He said while returning to the door, leaving you with your thoughts. Cat was a good kid, always polite with you, and willing to spend some time by the library. What bad would it be to give her back some of the attention?

The rest of the day went fast. The book Esther asked for some small restore almost finished, the final task of getting more food for you and the orange cat waiting ahead. As you put some weight above Esther's book to make the glue stick to the pages, you heard the bell sound from the front door, courtesy of the library being in the same place as an old store from the pre-outbreak days. Leaving the back house and coming to the main room, you saw a small girl with her hair up, Tommy's niece.

You smiled at her. She was looking around the shelves with a hint of curiosity in her eyes. Still smiling, you introduced yourself and asked for her name.

"Ellie, as in Elena or Ellen?" you wondered while analyzing her face better in the artificial light inside the library.

“Just Ellie," she replied a little flat-toned, just like that afternoon near the river. Her dark brown eyes were a little lighter than Joel's, her skin paler too, a smaller mouth, and you remembered that Maria defined her as the girl, not his daughter or any other way.

"What brings you to the library?" You waited for her response; a few seconds passed, and she looked you in the eye.

“Do you have anything about space?" she inquired, and you smiled.

"Good choice. Anything specific in your mind?" you replied, looking for the right shelf.

The book collection wasn’t as extensive, but you thought the kid wouldn't care much. You were constantly adding new titles through the patrols and Eugene scheme with you, if you needed something different you could try to find it in another abandoned place. She continued in silence, trying to find the right words, "Okay, what about fiction? Do you like those? Have you read this one?" You placed a copy of Stardust by Neil Gaiman in front of her.

"Not a fairytale type of person," she grimaced, and you laughed. You believed the green book cover with a blonde fairy seemed a little childish to Ellie. Even though she appeared in her early teens, she had traveled across the country, and something told you that she had a hell of a time.

"Not exactly a fairytale. Okay, do you want to play a game?" She frowned and looked at you, "Take it with you. If you like it, your next book will be another recommendation from me, but if you hate it, I will read whatever you want to."

“I don’t know you, why would I say yes to it?” she asked, still confused.

“Have you ever talked with someone who read the same book as you? Or even someone with the same musical taste?" you replied as she shook her head, "then try it. You will be hooked.”

You wrote down her name with chalk on the board behind you, where you kept track of all the books and in which house they were. At the same time, Ellie left the library with the copy tugged in her arms. Life followed its natural track: you ate dinner and saved some for the orange cat, slept after a thread of thoughts about the handsome man, woke up early, and went straight to the library. The streets weren’t shining from rain just like the morning before, they were quieter than usual, if not for a girl seated in front of the library.

"You should have told me that this was an adventure book," Ellie exclaimed as soon as she saw you. Her eyes’ under bags were a little puffier than yesterday. She seemed somewhat sleepy.

“Did you read it all in one night?” You inquired while opening the library, her following your footsteps.

“Hell yeah, dude, they have pirates and witches. And Yvaine? The star? I need more of it," she spilled, the flatness of her prior tone no longer there. She was full of life, to your surprise.

You decided to take something a little bolder this time, handing her a copy of Coraline. She gratefully accepted it without questioning it.

"But make sure to breathe and sleep, okay? I don't want Joel worrying about you," you exclaimed as she left.

Marking down her name with a different book on the board, you remembered how you read underneath the sheets late at night as a kid before everything changed. Your brother would get you the titles he believed were appropriate growing up, very differently from your parents, who only wanted you to read the bible. It felt a lifetime of distance, but moments away. You sighed in relief but a tinge of guilt for making your way into a comfortable life in Jackson while your family had a different fate.

At 7 p.m. sharp you were up on your feet in front of the main door of Alfie’s house, knocking two times on the wood. You could hear from the door muffed voices speaking in a language that you weren’t familiar with, “como estoy? Me veo bien? No quiero que pienses que me arreglé demasiado”, “estás guapo, no te preocupes, invítala pronto!” and some quick steps in your direction.

"Dolly, good evening! How are you?" Alfie greeted you, opening the door and inviting you in.

“Hey, Alfie. All good, where can I put it?” You asked, showing the apple pie. He grinned and made some space at the table for it. Cat was already sitting, waiting for you both. “What’s up, Cat?”

"Not much, and you, Dolly?" she replied, looking at you with thick lashes. "Is that apple pie? Oh man, you got me by the stomach." The teenager looked like her father: hazel eyes, dark hair, and soft features. Her straight hair stopped slightly above her shoulders, with framed bangs the same height as her eyebrows.

"I hope you like my dad's food. Not to be modest, but he is a hell of a chef."

"Is this good or bad?" Alfie asked her, a little confused as you both sat. After 20 years in the USA, he still mixed some words in English.

"What do you think? Good, I'm starving for some of these!" His daughter got your plate, put two quesadillas then served her dad and herself.

The dinner went smoothly, even if you caught Cat trying to make you see Alfie in a better light at some points. She spoke about how he knew his way around the kitchen with more than just Mexican food, his passion for soccer (even if it was mostly long forgotten), about how he was present in the community with the neighbors and such. The teen was pushing you towards her dad, thinking you were unaware of all these traits, but you knew them, it just didn't make you head over heels for the man.

It was late at night when Alfie offered to walk back with you. At first, you declined, but Cat insisted it was bear attack season – nonsense since you lived inside the city walls. Still, her insistency made you accept the offer.

"If I saw right, your plate was empty after dinner." He started to converse with you as you strolled on the pavement. "So, did you like it? The quesadillas?”

“Ah, yeah, quite nice. You were right about it." You smiled and looked down the street, unsure of how to not give him too much hope.

"Whenever you want them, let me know. I’ll always make them for you, Dolly," Alfie said with his eyes shining under the moonlight and soft light of the lamppost.

As you approached your house, he continued speaking about the topics you shared during the evening. You tried to follow up, being polite despite wanting to be quiet. The orange cat jumped from the first-floor window to greet you as they saw you coming closer to the house. Alfie got the cat into his lap and petted his fur, looking straight into your eyes.

"You know, I really like spending time with you. I know I've been a little too on the nose with it, but it is true." He looked at the cat and then back to you, almost as if he couldn't hold your gaze. His voice was a little higher pitched than his usual register, the words faster. "I don't want you to think I will put pressure on you to like me back as I like you. But I would like for you to consider it, even if it is for just a second."

Your mouth opened, but there wasn't a sound, you shut it and pouted a bit. He had spent the last year trying to grab your attention, being nothing but kind to you. And yet, you didn’t feel it back.

"Alfie, tonight was nice." You weren't lying, it has been nice, "but I don't know. Haven't put that much thought on it." You finished looking down at the cat, who was purring in Alfie’s lap.

"Just think about it, would you? I’ll be here no matter if you want me or not," he said softly. You nodded back, smiling lopsided.

Putting the cat down on the pavement, Alfie kissed your check a little too long and walked back to his house. You sighed and straightened your back, wondering what you would do. At that moment, you felt a presence on the other side of the street. Joel was with Tommy, walking by, staring at you.

Had he seen Alfie kissing your cheek? Has he heard the conversation? You weren't sure, but when he quickly looked at his brother when noticed that you stared back, you felt that the ground opening and swallowing you.

You waited for Nath’s commentary after giving her what she wanted.

"Okay, now I need you to convince Alfie to make you more quesadillas so I can have my batch as well," Nath smiled, wiggling her brows. You glared at her. "What? You got a bike, I got a bike. The man wants you so bad that he will do anything you ask, help a friend.”

You had told her about the whole thing, just missing the details about Ellie appearing at the library and Joel watching you with Alfie. Those topics were still a blur in your head, you wanted a little more time before you spoke about it with her. Honestly, you wanted to see more of Joel before making your mind about him.

"I don't want to give the man false hopes," you replied, petting the cat on your lap. Nath snorted.

"It isn't false hopes. He is mental for you, has been since you came to this city! You said yourself, Cat planned the whole evening to make sure you would be closer to her dad. At his point, he just wants whatever you can give," she pondered, giving a big stretch and going straight to your kitchen. When she got back, there were two glasses of cherry wine in her hands.

"I’ll tell you this: you have two cowboys looking for you." She ignored the full glare you made in her direction as you grabbed the glass from her hand, "so why not allow yourself a bit of chase?"

“Fuck it, I will considerer it.” Clicking the glasses, you both made a big gulp. Delicious, Nath’s recipe for wine was one of the backbones of your friendship. "Just no more words about cowboys, okay? No matter what kind, let me have this."

"Yeah, I heard you, man." She said, ignoring you, finishing her glass and walking to your backyard door. "See ya later.”

In the silence of the late afternoon, with the sky once again painted pink and orange, you thought about dark brown eyes and why the idea of him seeing you with another man bothered you so much.

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princesssmars · 12 days

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forcing ellie to do the peg plus cat trend 💔💔💔 she keeps messing up when she’s supposed to point and when she’s supposed to raise her hands 💔💔💔 she gets excited once you get it right but tries to play it cool and fails 💔💔💔 she reposts it everywhere including facebook 💔💔💔💔💔

#i’m imagining it with every character #this trend is too cute #we love peg + cat #ellie #ellie williams fluff #ellie x fem reader #ellie williams x reader #tlou #tlou x reader

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starbrightscribbles · 1 year

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me tryna sleep every Sunday after watching a new tlou episode and having my heart absolutely shattered into a million pieces<33

#comfort characters #tlou show #the last of us #joel and ellie #tlou #comfort show #i would die for them #cat memes #pedro pascal #bella ramsey

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puppyclutz · 1 year

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i think ppl forget that ellie is very like. passively sui*idal and has this immense weight and guilt on her shoulders for being immune and needing to be the 'savior'. i understand why ppl dislike joel but like. i saw a few ppl say he saved her on the chance that she *didnt* actually want to die, even if that chance was very slim. people dont put themselves in joels shoes on the idea that if it were someone you loved, you would do the same in a heartbeat. he was only being a father in my eyes. he didnt take away her choice, to be quite honest she didnt really have one in the first place if you think about it. dying was always kind of her cruel destiny, whether she wanted it or not.

#chatty cat #tlou #the last of us #tlou hbo #tlou spoilers #the last of us hbo #this wont get a lot of attention but like #idk. i used to see joel as a morally grey character until i thought more about it #and hes really not the bad guy

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bumblebee-moreno · 1 year

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TLOU characters as cats?

general warning for possible spoilers? probably won't go too into detail, but... you've been warned. Also warning: I do not personally own cats, however, I have worked in the veterinary field for over 3 years. So that's where my opinions are coming from lmao

I'm starting with only characters we've met so far in hbo's series (first 6 episodes as of this post), and definitely didn't include everyone, but I might add more later (or if others add on, even better).

--inspired by previous reblog

Pre-outbreak Joel:

You won’t see or hear from him all day… BUT. The moment you’re about to get up to do something, he will curl up in your lap and by law, once an aloof cat is in your lap, you cannot move. You’re running late for an appointment? better just cancel because he’s not moving until the MOMENT the appointment is scheduled to end. You have to pee? You better have a bladder of steel because he’s making biscuits RIGHT THERE. You were getting up to make dinner? No you’re not.

Regularly leaves mouse/rat/bird carcasses for you to find, because clearly you cannot hunt for yourself.

You won’t see him for a week, but then you come home late from work ONE TIME, and he WILL shit in your bed before disappearing into the void again

isn’t outright spicy at the vet, but he WILL be as uncooperative as physically possible: time to go back in the carrier? you now have a starfish cat. Need him to sit still for a blood draw? The whole world will hear about how he’s the most tortured, abused, and unloved cat in existence. Need to catch him for xrays? Better get the stool because he’s on top of the cabinets.

If his water is not moving (like a water fountain type situation), he WILL dump it on the floor, turn on the sink for a sip, and then just. leave the sink on.

Will follow strangers around the house, watching them from a distance. If they try to pet him, he’ll run and hide. Once you’ve gained his trust, though, he can be very affectionate when the mood strikes him. There’s even occasional moments of playfulness

Post-outbreak Joel:

Post-outbreak Joel: absolute scrapper. one of those feral cats that look like they’ve been chewed up and spat back out at least 3 times.

He's very unlikely to approach people, but he will not hesitate to steal their stuff if they leave their garage open.

It’s almost impossible to gain his trust, but once you do, he’s a sweetheart… but only when he’s alone with you—if someone else walks into the room he WILL bite you and run away as if he weren’t just purring and making biscuits on your lap

Will sit on your chest and watch you sleep. If you catch him dosing off… no you didn’t.

Will only ever sleep inside if it’s offered by someone he really trusts, and only on incredibly cold/wet nights. If anyone tried to make him a house cat, he’d be miserable

Don’t even try to take him to the vet. But if you do, be ready to pay for a pharmacy-worth of sedatives, and let the staff know to have the cat gloves ready if they value their limbs.

You will not see him for at least a week afterwards, but you will know he’s nearby because there will be a fresh dead thing on your doormat every morning (hey, he’s mad at you, but he can’t let you starve!)

Ellie Williams:

Will stampede through the house at 3am for no reason.

If you set anything remotely breakable on the counter, she will look you straight in the eye and knock it onto the floor.

I’ve been my old boss’ house sitter for years now. One of her cats LOVES cuddles… unfortunately, in her kitty brain, ‘cuddles’ means sleeping directly on your face. If you try to move her or roll over in your sleep, you WILL get bit. Not hard enough to do any real damage, but just enough to kinda hurt, y’know? I feel like that’d be Ellie.

Loves hunting, but rarely actually catches anything. If she does, it’s a toss-up whether she’ll kill it or just rip a few limbs off and get bored. (I obviously don’t see human Ellie as doing anything like this, but I can definitely see a cat version of her doing it)

Will stick her paws as far under the bathroom door the whole time you’re in there, but as soon as you finish and open the door, she’s nowhere to be found.

There’s no doubt that she’s very much a feral cat, but unlike Joel and Tess who are the overly cautious type, Ellie is the cat that will act friendly for a meal and warm spot to sleep, but if you try to contain her beyond her own terms, she will go apeshit and destroy everything in her attempt to get out.

If she’s in the house, any window that has a screen must be left either FULLY closed, or FULLY open. If it’s not 100% in either direction, she will climb between the screen and the window, get stuck, and promptly SCREAM like a ravenous banshee until someone helps her out… She will claw the arms of whoever dares help her until she is fully free, before hissing and disappearing into the void to sulk.

If you're doing something important, she WILL sit directly on top of it and refuse to move. But only if the thing is important. If she's not interrupting something that you actually have to get done, she's not interested.

Sarah Miller:

If zoom were a thing at the time, she’d be one of those cats that interrupts the entire meeting by sitting directly on top of her person’s keyboard.

Will sit on the other side of your bedroom door and scream until you let her in, only to turn around and scream until you let her back out again. it’s an endless cycle.

Has a million and one toys. Will dump them all on the floor and sit inside the box. If she’s feeling extra fancy, she might take a break from the box to unravel every single toilet paper roll she can reach, before promptly returning to her box

Has a hoard of stolen socks under the couch. Some of the socks clearly do not belong to anyone in the house. It’s extra strange because she’s an indoor cat.

Is the reason her family can never bring food to potlucks… there is nothing that can keep her off the counters, and she thinks she is VERY helpful in the kitchen. The pantry has a baby lock because she figured out how to open doors.

It doesn't matter how much trouble she gets into, because the second she looks at you with that face, it's impossible to stay upset.

Tess Servopoulos:

Much like post-outbreak Joel, she’s a bit of a scrapper, and doesn’t trust easy. If you sit still long enough, she might settle in your lap, but if you acknowledge her in any way (including trying to pet her), she will get up and leave.

She’s pretty friendly, but very skittish.

If she's tried escaping and her boundaries continue to be pushed, she's not afraid to get her claws or teeth involved. Unlike Joel, they're just not her go-to.

She’s been known to take refuge in the occasional garage, but unless hell has frozen over, she will not be coming inside anyone’s house.

I feel like pre-outbreak Tess would be one of those cats that brings home random kittens of unknown origins, despite being spayed. I have no evidence for this, it’s a vibe she gives off.

Tommy Miller:

y’know those cats that convince like. 4 different people that they’re the owners/families of said cat in order to get fed and loved on by 4 different families? that’s Tommy

If his dish is empty, he will act as if he’s being starved to death. As soon as you fill it, he loses interest and ignores the dish entirely. He wasn’t actually hungry, he just likes knowing the food is there.

He’s one of those cats that everyone adores.

Despite being one of the friendliest cats you could ever meet, it takes a LONG time for him to find a family he’ll actually allow to take him in. Until then, he’s very much a street cat, and will allow as many families to THINK he belongs to them as will feed him, but if they tried to limit his freedom in any way, he’d be miserable. Once he’s found the right home to settle down in, though, he doesn’t go too far past the yard, or occasionally the neighbour’s yard.

When he’s on the streets, he’ll never pick a fight, but he’ll sure as hell win if someone else starts anything.

#the last of us #the last of us spoilers #tlou #tlou spoilers #hbo the last of us #tlou characters as cats apparently #joel miller #ellie williams #sarah miller #tommy miller #tess servopoulos #if anyone wants to add on or say anything about characters I didn't include please do!#there were quite a few characters I didn't include either bc i couldn't think of much or for the sake of time/space #tlou headcanons #I spent way more time on this than i should have

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foofygoldfish · 1 year

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hi against my better judgement i have written A Thing

elizabeth didn't plan on saving the stranger that she found bleeding out in the rotunda. she really didn't plan on joining said stranger on a cross-country road trip to find her partner. falling for her? absolutely out of the question. vignettes of elizabeth and tess's trip across the states, starting in boston, and ending in jackson. mix of video game and tv canon.

#elizabeth victoria #tess tlou #tess servopoulos #tess x original character #i feel so weird putting this into the main tags lmao #anyways i'm gonna disappear back into the void byeeeeeeeee #aka: having existential crisis currently so gonna deal with that by forcing one of the cats to cuddle #tlou

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spacedlexi · 1 year

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tlou CRIT/NEG this is abt the new ep and how theyve been treating ellie since pt2 and i cant take it anymore. ellie get behind me

"you have a violent heart" "the only person who can save ellie is ellie. how? Violence." BARF BARF BARF BLEGH AUGH UGH SHUT UP SHUT UP DIES i hate what theyve done to my girl 😭😭

i dont like that they took joel out of That scene.....joel pulling her out of that moment and holding her...them Finally connecting completely...that silence as everything fades away...compared to her having to get up and walk out on her own and basically bump into him... thats so mean to ellie honestly for what 😭 to double down on her "violence" apparently im eating glass (guys is it "violent" to kill someone in self defense?)

plus idk joel being the one to physically pull her away from over-killing david and bringing her back to the moment and reassuring her shes ok...like idk maybe that couldve been Something when in pt2 she goes on a rampage without him. but idk i guess that would go against the whole thing theyve been doing since pt2 where they try to make joel out like a complete corrupting force on ellie (i learned it from YOU, DAD) 🙄 but now in the show theyre doubling down and making ellie more "violent" than she was in the game I HATE IT I HATE IT STOP IT STOP IT SHES ALREADY DEAD

i hate saying anything negative about this franchise at this point because people do not take it well but im just so sad about how theyve decided to treat her. like SORRRYY but ellie was SO important to teenage me..she deserves better. and if i have to hear them say "violence" one more time 😐........

#putting this under a read more so u can keep scrolling #but if anyone else is tired of the way ellie gets treated as a character this is for u #and joel too by extension #this was nicer before i listened to the bts stuff where craig said that 2nd thing and i got mad #i need to stop listening to those i think #meme of that dude holding that cat and the sword #the cat is tlou1(game only) and im holding the sword out at anything else #every day i thank the telltale devs for loving and respecting clementine as a character #she can be 'mean' and 'violent' (and traumatized) but they werent weird about it #at least one of my early 2010s era zombie apocalypse daughters is doing ok #weeps #it speaks #i could write 10 separate dissertations on tlou im not kidding #but i hold myself back. for your sakes

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seulszn · 3 months

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Listen I love TLOU and the fandom very much but a lot of people (not calling anybody out) need a reality check and need to grow up. I wanna say my two cents on things that bother me in this fandom.

1. Boycotting for Palestine

I have seen multiple times on multiple occasions where people would sit on their phone and complain about why writers are “flooding the tags with this boycotting bullshit” and honestly all I have to say is your super childish you can’t take a hour or a week out of your day to raise awareness on a important topic that is affecting millions of people? Your so horny so down bad for pixelated characters that you don’t care about the innocent children, women and men that are dying in Palestine? The boycotting isn’t gonna stop just because you want your needs filled, the boycotting isn’t going to stop because you think it needs to, it’s not gonna stop until Palestine is free. And if you wanna read things that bad then read nobody is stoping you but a take into ignition that if a writer is spreading awareness then don’t be ignorant and say stupid shit

2. Less Sex and more angst or other genres.

Listen I love Abby and Ellie just like everyone else and I read a lot of smut about them but does that all y’all see when y’all look at them? As sex objects? Like I’m not saying that you should stop writing smut for those characters but write other things to that don’t involve smut, like angst I see a lot of people under that tag say how they wish writers would as write other things that isn’t just smut and majority of the time when they say that they get hated for it. It lowkey gets boring reading fanfics where the whole plot is smut, smut, smut. And again I’m not saying to stop writing smut but please for the love of whatever you believe in write other genres.

3. Black inclusivity

As a black writer and a black person TLOU tag isn’t inclusive enough. I know you must be thinking “Why are we speaking about this again?” Because I’m honestly so tired of how uninclusive the fandom is like I said before Ellie dates WOC if you don’t know what WOC is it’s Women Of Color all of Ellie’s girlfriends where WOC now I’m not saying you can’t write for Ellie as a white person and I’m not saying that never did all I am saying is once again all of Ellie’s girlfriend where POC

Riley was a Black African American who Dated Ellie

Cat the girl who wasn’t mentioned alot but is in the game is Asian American who also dated Ellie

Dina is a Jewish (Mexican, Middle Eastern ) American who dated Ellie

Also yes we know when the reader is white coded so don’t try a put that you don’t mention when race mentioned cause you do and we can tell when you do “She’s Petite and cute with her long blonde hair” or whatever you bitches be saying we know when you guys aren’t inclusive the whole point of fanfiction writing is to be inclusive is to make sure that readers can see themself in your xreader so if your putting all these “white things and then labeling your story as “the readers race is not mentioned” or that OC stuff that y’all do then just label the story as a white reader or a OC reader

4. Futa, trans and masc

Now here I’m gonna discuss two or three things starting off with Futa and Trans. Now I don’t know when “Futa” or “Trans” Ellie and Abby came from but a lot of you readers need to understand and learn the difference between the two because they are both very different things.

Futanari: is the Japanese word for hermaphroditism, which is also used in a broader sense for androgyny. Beyond Japan, the term has come to be used to describe a commonly pornographic genre of eroge, manga, and anime, which includes characters that show primary sexual characteristics from both females and males. In today's language, it refers almost exclusively to characters who have an overall feminine body, but have both female and male primary genitalia (although a scrotum is not always present, while breasts, a penis, and a vulva are). The term is also often abbreviated as futa(s), which is also used as a generalized term for the works themselves.

Transgender (often shortened to trans) is someone whose gender identity differs from that typically associated with the sex they were assigned at birth. Some transgender people who desire medical assistance to transition from one sex to another identify as transsexual. Transgender is also an umbrella term; in addition to including people whose gender identity is the opposite of their assigned sex (trans men and trans women), it may also include people who are non-binary or genderqueer. Other definitions of transgender also include people who belong to a third gender, or else conceptualize transgender people as a third gender. The term may also include cross-dressers or drag kings and drag queens in some contexts. The term transgender does not have a universally accepted definition, including among researchers.

Mind you I am not transgender I am nonbinary but I see a lot of transgender people speak up about how offensive it is to write a character as Transgender but it’s not really transgender but a Futanari remember a Futa is a character who is assigned a gender at birth but just has extra sexual parts like a penis.

Now another thing that bothers me is how y’all Masculinize Masc Lesbians as if they still aren’t women themselves like every time I read a fanfic with Ellie or Abby or even Vi and Sevika from Arcane you guys like to ignore they fact that they are also women themselves like it’s not gonna kill you to give those characters feminine compliments there shouldn’t be a reason why your calling these women “handsome” or other Masculine compliments and also a lot of Masculine women where makeup it’s not just a feminine woman thing. Masc Lesbians are women they aren’t men so stop treating them as if they are men and ignoring the fact that they are women

5. the Innocent childish reader gotta stop.

They title says enough I don’t think I need to say too much but a lot of y’all get innocent and corruption mixed up but a corruption kink is When you find the idea of "corrupting" someone, mostly in a sexual way, like taking virginities or introducing people to stuff like bdsm etc. It's the idea of having someone "pure" do "bad" things under your influence. And innocent is not corrupted or tainted with evil or unpleasant emotion; sinless; pure. not guilty of a particular crime; blameless. (From the dictionary)

Y’all need to understand yes not everyone knows what sex is but everyone knows what a vagina is what a penis is, what a orgasm is and what sex is but they may not knows what happens when you have sex so making the reader what y’all call innocent isn’t innocent it’s honestly to me perverted cause the only one who would say something like “my cunny feels weird 🥺” or that “what is sex 🥺” is a child. Children don’t know what sex is children don’t know what pleasure or orgasms is and when y’all say “the reader is a Bimbo” is also funny cause Bimbos know what sex is as well yes they may be stupid but they aren’t slow so before you make a innocent reader please think “am I making my reader act like a child or am I gonna make her really innocent like how regular grown ass adults act?” so don't get not knowing and "innocent" mixed up

6. The stories where they have sex inside a church also gotta stop

Now I’m not a Christian but these stories are honestly really bad and are Blasphemy a lot of people have come out and said that they don’t like the fact that people are writing stories about church in a sexual way like their shouldn’t be any reason why your characters are fucking inside a church, that’s like stomping on someone’s dead grave. You guys do shit like this and then wonder why Christian’s don’t like us. Religion isn’t something to be sexualized it’s not something to be playing with either this idc how much you hate Christianity you can be a Atheist, or Catholic or Jewish but please for the love of whatever you believe in don’t sexualize people’s religion.

That’s all I can think of at the moment if I think of more I’ll of course make a part two to this but don’t take anything I said here to heart it’s just my blunt honest opinion on things in this fandom and if I get hate for this 🤷🏾‍♀️

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ohraicodoll · 1 year

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Feral Masterlist

Joel Miller x Feral Reader/OFC

(You’ve all lovingly named this character Feral Reader, but she’s referenced as Starshine or Red sometimes in the stories.)

Warning: Explicit Content, Graphic Violence, Trauma, PTSD

(Put in order of story timeline)

Be Still Drabble | 3rd POV | AO3 It takes her a while to notice. Joel is having a panic attack. Bitter Two-Shot | 3rd POV | AO3 Joel makes a decision for all of them when they finally find Tommy in Jackson. Part 1 | Part 2 Violent Delights One-Shot | 3rd POV | AO3 With Joel injured and Ellie captured, she has to make a choice. Violent Ends One-Shot | 3rd POV | AO3 They find the Fireflies and one by one, the lights go out. Crossword Snippet | 3rd POV | AO3 It’s the first time their group has been split up and Joel definitely isn’t waiting for you at the gates.

Daisies Drabble | 3rd POV | AO3 The women of Jackson have their eyes set on Joel Miller.

Beast One-Shot | 18+ Minors DNI for Graphic Violence | 3rd POV | AO3 All she can see is that he’s hurt and she would tear them apart. Left Behind One-Shot | 3rd POV | AO3 Settling into life in Jackson wasn't going so easily and Joel is hit with the possibility she may not be welcomed to stay. Territorial One-Shot | 3rd POV | AO3 She never paid attention to the newcomers when they joined Jackson until one of them begins to get close to Joel. Dominant One-Shot | 3rd POV | AO3 Jealousy and rationality don’t mix. Hero Worship Drabble | 3rd POV Ellie has a little admirer Your Bury Me One-Shot | 3rd POV | AO3 A failed trade, a dress, music, and their own form of confession. Mine Drabble | 3rd POV He doesn’t like other’s attention on her

Drabbles:

Reckless: Ellie gets mad at her for being too careless with herself Red’s Personality ***Red Integrating Into Jackson Headcanons ***Red and Joel Headcanons Does Red ever try singing again? ***Tommy x Red Headcanons Tommy after the punch ***Ellie x Red Headcanons ***Joel falling for Red Headcanons Red is Ellie’s Mom Gifts from the Barn Cat The Morning After Bitter Part 2 Joel’s Nightmares ***Moments in Domesticity Headcanons ***Ellie and Red arguement Headcanons

Asks

Where does Red met them in the timeline? TLOU Part 2 Question Sunshine Bestie Red and cheating scenario Romance and Connections Red and Pregnancies Maria and Red’s relationship Ellie’s Adjustment Maria standing up for Red Reds Triggers Red & the baby (More) When Reds Sick Annie’s Birthday Joel Calming Red Down Red’s Trinkets

________________________________ If you would like to be added to a taglist for this series, please reply to this post! Taglist: @alouise20 @faceache111 @hawsx3 @taxidriversainz @iluvbunnyhops @mrfitzdarcyslover @emlovesya @agent007knight @spaacerabbit @namgification @wonwoosthetic @wxnderingthoughts @sagggy @escaping-reality8 @badwolf00593 @themothersmercy @badwolf00593 @mxtokko @happinessinthebeing @taranicristeard @aroacefanenby @barbellpedro @maviee @sgt-morgan @peppesgirl @spideysimpossiblegirl @hreader7 @jackierose902109

#tlou #the last of us #raicodoll writes #writing masterlist #tlou fanfic #the last of us fanfic #fic: monsters #anon asks #series: feral #feral reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x feral reader #joel miller fanfic #ellie williams #prompt requests

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aethelwyneleigh27 · 8 months

Text

Cod Characters General Dating Headcanons (part two)

+ Random and Some bits of Chubby Fem S/O Headcanons with mentions of different nationality S/O

+ What type of BF/GF they would be

Including Valeria Garza, Farah Karim, Kate Laswell, Alex Keller, Gary "Roach" Sanderson, Nikolai Belinski

+ Some Poly! Farah x Reader x Alex Headcanons

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Fem terms and pronouns like she/her are used for the reader

ꕥ HOPE YOU ENJOY! ꕥ

My rules for requests and characters I can write for

Please comment if you want to be added to the taglist, the next part or cod content alone. I also have content for TLOU and Resident Evil, so please specify.

Taglist: @marshmallowinamess

A/n: Hi lovelies! It's me again Lia, currently working on this one while I haven't even posted the other yet because I wanna post early and I love Valeria. Y'all don't got shit on me, I'm writing this shit while I'm in class AHAHAHA. Btw more Resident Evil content soon...

Disclaimers/warnings: Typical Cod things, OOC characters???, Unrealistic, Some suggestive themes and language, I'm so sorry but English is not my first language so please don't come after me. Most of the content I've seen are on TikTok and Tumblr I don't actually play the game but I love the characters so much, same with any other content I have for other video games.

Tiny sidenote: the reader in this has been describe to be shorter than the characters and has been mentioned to have a soft body rather than the muscular type.

Valeria Garza

ꕥ (Just saying, I'd let her step all over me)

ꕥ The El Sinombre falling in love? No shit she's... semi-normal??

ꕥ Black cat/Doberman girlfriend for sure. She's extremely protective and extremely terrifying when she wants to be. Scary dog privilege if you get it. (Occasionally it's funny to imagine her as a Chihuahua)

ꕥ Dates all kinds of women, body type and other things don't matter to her because she doesn't have a type. If you catch her attention then that's that.

ꕥ Loves spoiling you in everyway possible, just sit pretty for her and she'll take care of everything. Doesn't give a shit on the amount of money she spends on you, you want it? You got it.

ꕥ Loves it when you need her, it's one of the ways she feels loved and appreciated. Would never say it out loud but loves it whenever you show her your appreciation by doing manual labor.

ꕥ The idea of you being her pretty little housewife is sending her to heaven.

ꕥ Spanish pet names galore, culture is something of importance to her so will definitely teach you Spanish if she had the time.

ꕥ Would be interested learning about your culture as well because if you're gonna know about hers then she ought to know what to call you in your language. (Definitely not self-indulgent because I'm Filipina and I know she'd pronounce it somewhat correctly)

ꕥ Doesn't ever let you know about her cartel business. You can never know and she will never allow you to get ever get involved. You're too precious to her and god forbid anything will happen to you, she will destroy the world if she had to.

ꕥ She's more of a masc lesbian, she's the type who likes to be in charge in a "I'm the one who wears the pants in the relationship" way. She's very dominant.

ꕥ Doesn't ever even consider to be submissive, with the amount of shit she's been through. She can be vulnerable with you but in no way, shape or form could you ever top.

ꕥ You're an escape from the life she knew, it was peaceful with you. At first she wasn't used to it, definitely has reoccurring thoughts of something going wrong. You dying, getting kidnapped, falling into the hands of her enemies so constant reassurance.

ꕥ Would absolutely kill for you, no hesitation. The literally definitely of "I would burn this world for you", would absolutely deny it but you know otherwise.

Farah Karim

ꕥ Tabby cat coded girlfriend, she's down to earth and chill. She's that one neutral person everyone adores, she puts her best efforts into a relationship for sure.

ꕥ Has and will help you do your make-up all the time, doesn't matter whether you asked. She'll observe the specific way you do it and do it perfectly.

ꕥ Sweetest girlfriend ever, she has dominance tendencies but it's mainly because she's quite assertive and often makes the decisions. Can't help it, after all her field of work requires her to one up egotistic men.

ꕥ That being said, I think she's had some mild PTSD about how they treated her. Sure it made her tough and she didn't like to be bossed around (unlike angry Mexican man) but I like to think she keeps you out of it as much as possible.

ꕥ Chubby!Reader headcanon is that she literally would adore you, compliment anything and everything. Insecure? Not on her watch, she just makes you feel so loved.

ꕥ Most definitely has introduced you to Price (I feel like he's everyone's father figure except los vaqueros and characters he hasn't interacted with) and don't worry he's already looking after you as well.

ꕥ Poly! Farah x reader x Alex headcanons:

ꕥ You guys following whatever Farah says, towards relationship decisions anyway because you and Alex tend to be indecisive.

ꕥ Lot's of communication between the three of you even if it's just a small thing, consent is always key.

ꕥ Alex following his two wives around a lot, he's mostly behind you guys all the time.

ꕥ Farah is patient when it comes to a lot of things but especially you and Alex.

ꕥ You get head pats from both of them, Farah is in a more praising manner while Alex tends to be in a comforting manner.

ꕥ You cannot tell me these two won't be down to cuddle in any position because I know damn well they would be. More often it's just Alex wanting to be a little spoon.

Alex Keller

ꕥ Golden Retriever boyfriend FOR REAL. This man is the type of man to kneel down and clasp the strap of your shoe or heel when he notices it.

ꕥ You know when you pick up something near a corner of a table or underneath it? He's the type of boyfriend to subconsciously cover the edge or corner of that table so that if your head bumps into it then it wouldn't be as painful or even at all.

ꕥ Having said the first one, he also guides your head whenever getting into a vehicle because god forbid you actually hurt yourself. Not on his watch.

ꕥ Understands why you're insecure and definitely offers a lot of verbal reassurance.

ꕥ Is the type of boyfriend to say "Yes Ma'am" when you ask him to do something, doesn't matter whether it's a small thing or labor intensive. It's kinda become your guys' thing now since people take notice on it.

ꕥ Pouty kind of jealous? Not necessarily whiny but makes this sad upset face at you when jealous instead of something like Ghost or Valeria would do where they'd be glaring the person down jealous.

ꕥ Very thoughtful, he pays attention to what you want and what you need and knows the right timing.

ꕥ Forehead kiss giver, you cannot convince me this man doesn't love doing it. Especially when you're shorter than him, loves resting his chin on top of your head or burying his head in your neck.

ꕥ HATES seeing you uncomfortable, absolutely despises it. That's the last thing he wants you to feel when you're around him. Would understand if there's imminent danger around but it would literally being him back to life if you felt safe enough around him even if there was danger because you're confident in his capabilities to keep you safe.

Kate Laswell

ꕥ (LOVE THIS WOMAN, SHE'S FOR THE GIRLS BECAUSE IT'S CANON. ARGUE WITH THE WALL)

ꕥ She only ever let the TF141 and Nikolai meet you because of course she trusts them enough.

ꕥ They were like "So you're the infamous wife of Laswell huh?"

ꕥ Even before you were married, Kate called you her wife because she was ✨manifesting✨.

ꕥ She loves using it though, sometimes she'd be with coworkers and they'd invited her to go out to pub and drink but she'll refuse saying "Can't, my wife is waiting for me". She'd really rather just spend time with you anyway.

ꕥ Congrats, you made her quit smoking or at least she's trying to. She still does every once and a while when shit gets really bad but never around you because she knows that secondhand smoke is just as bad for you.

ꕥ She doesn't have a type when it comes to people so body is out of the question, if she feels a connection then she feels it.

ꕥ Anything and everything to keep you safe, if something were to happen to you, trust that she'll either get it down herself or if she can't then she'll turn to Price and Belinski for help.

ꕥ As much as possible, she keeps you away from everything. The job she has is just too dangerous and she can't risk you, not when you're one of the only good things in her life that keeps her happy.

ꕥ Definitely a workaholic, something as simple as asking her to eat or rest, maybe take a break. She'll do it, for you and because she knows you care for her.

ꕥ Doesn't half-ass anything, full effort when it comes to you especially when there's a special occasion between you two like holidays, birthdays and anniversaries.

ꕥ Also she loves making you laugh, more often with stories of her experiences with Price and also about how they met.

Gary "Roach" Sanderson

ꕥ (I CANNOT FIND A DECENT GIF OF THIS MAN FOR THE LIFE OF ME... Here's the credits to where I found the photo)

ꕥ Get this man a makeshift antenna, he would adore it. You made it for him because of his call sign.

ꕥ He sometimes wears it on missions but mostly keeps it so that it doesn't get damage because this man is definitely a horder, not in a bad way just anything you give to him is something worth keeping in his eyes.

ꕥ Gary definitely gives you handmade gifts back, when he knows you'll like something or even if it's at a random, he loves making them for you and he cried when he found out you kept those all in it's own box labeling it your treasures.

ꕥ Very shy and reluctant at first but once he's comfortable, he is tackling you for a hug when he gets the chance.

ꕥ Doesn't talk a lot, (it took me to Google when I saw that many people hc him communicating through BSL) but I like to think he does talk. It's just really selective, like a few words.

ꕥ The first time you heard his voice, you looked at him like "???". He looked at you confused at your reaction and he only realized it when you told him.

ꕥ Think that he'll try to learn sign language within your mother tongue you know, it's too cute not to think about.

ꕥ He gives off soft lover vibes, definitely far more on the gentle side compared to his comrades.

ꕥ Something in me tells me this man rambles but only and I mean only when he's already extremely comfortable around you, not used to using his voice much so expect a bit of stutter. Which by the way, he does this without knowing he's rambling and will profusely apologize with his tone of voice slowly getting more quiet. (This is your sign, comfort this man)

ꕥ Likes to crawl around and climb things for fun, another one of the reasons his call sign was formed. The first time Ghost genuinely screamed was when Roach was stuck on the side of the wall and Ghost saw him there. Kinda like when you see a roach climbing up a wall and it flies straight for you in your direction. (Happened to me by experience when I was taking a shower)

ꕥ He also likes crawling around, like this I mean. Hacker!Reader seeing this on the enemy's security camera while she tries to shut them off is just funny to me idk why.

ꕥ Chubby!Reader? Sign him the fuck up. You once sat down near him and he saw how you thought spread a bit and it was so close to his that he was just resisting the urge to touch. The voice in his head shamelessly thinking of what it would be like if you suffocated him with them.

ꕥ He loves peppering kisses, doesn't matter whether it's receiving or giving this man would straight up take your hands and use them to cup his face, his hands still being over yours and would with wait for you to kiss him or kiss you himself.

Nikolai Belinski

ꕥ (I have no clue how to write for nik but I'll try my best)

ꕥ We all know him and his jokes about his "wives" which by the way is not true and you know it.

ꕥ He's husband material however he is quite busy, not that he'd barely spend time with you but he is away a lot. There's an upside to this, he constantly calls you (Let's be real, he prefers calls over texts) just to check on how you're doing and he tells you when he's going to come home.

ꕥ Despite all his jokes, he'd never actually make fun of you. Sure he's sarcastic and talks to himself a lot but he'd never go as low as actually making an offensive joke to his lover.

ꕥ Speaking of joking, your laugh is music to this man's ears. Don't matter if you sound like a dying cat, he's still gonna make you laugh.

ꕥ Surprisingly really sweet, people are often surprised to see that man with a lover. He's very thoughtful in a sense that he's observant, sure he's quite absentminded when around you because that's the only space he's comfortable enough to do so but also because he likes listening to you.

ꕥ Does every safety measure in a helicopter possible if he knew you or Gaz would be in that helicopter, he also makes improvements to it and calls it Gaz-proofing because we all know how Garrick fell off a damn helicopter TWICE. (Idk how he does it, Gaz has some serious plot armor)

#cod x reader #cod mw2 #cod mwii #valeria garza x reader #farah karim x reader #alex geller x reader #kate laswell x reader #gary roach sanderson #roach x reader #gary sanderson x reader #Nikolai Belinski x reader #nikolai cod x reader #farah x alex #cod x female reader #cod headcanons #Aethelwyne Lia writes

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the-orange-tabby-cat · 8 months

Text

Wings Of The Dawn | Chapter 2

AO3 link 🐾 | read chapter 1

GIF by loregifs

listen to the fic's playlist

Summary of the fic: You are Jackson's librarian, a doll with a good heart, that has your life changed when a handsome man decides to take his kid and start again in your small town after completing their cross country journey. Having a hard time ignoring Joel's dark brown eyes, you find yourself wishing to have him close as you both navigate through love triangles, teenage drama, city gossip, and ghosts from both of your pasts. This is a comfort fic filled with slow burn and small town dynamics. Chapter summary: Time for a lights out one on one session with your favorite Texan. And no, I'm not talking about smut... Yet.

｡˚🐾₊˚

CHAPTER 2

If you stare into the darkness for too long, you will notice that you can differentiate the shapes near you. For the first seconds, as your eyes get used to the lack of light, everything appears darker than it is, but as you keep them open, you see the details around you. After 21 years of living in the outbreak, being in the darkness from time to time isn't as challenging as it used to be, even for someone like you who wanted to run into the light as fast as you could.

"How many candles exactly do we need?" You asked Nath as she melted the beeswax little by little. There would be a programmed energy rationing for the following days as the dam got its amends done, making the demands for other sources of light higher.

It was a scorching day, much hotter than average for this time of the year. The heat in the candle-making process was hard to deal with, forcing both women to wear summer clothes and accept sweating as a regular reaction. You felt somewhat dizzy with the heat coming from the stove.

"We have 300 residents, I'm considering maybe 2 per person." She opened her mouth slightly, with her dark blue eyes looking above her, "600 up to 700 candles, maybe?"

"With just me and you making all of them? This is impossible." You looked at her, putting one of your hands behind your neck, scratching a little. From time to time, she would get a new plan that involved you both making something daring. Still, today, you were feeling tired from the start and decided to sabotage it before even beginning.

"Yeah, no shit, Sherlock. We will have helpers, they’ll be here any minute, so you better behave and help me get the rest of the wax." Next to her, there were some trays with leftover candles. Everybody donated what they had on their shelf for the initiative.

Accepting defeat, you look at her, thinking about having more hands on. "Wait, what kind of help? You never involve anyone else in your plans," you inquired while separating the donated wax by color. Nath was very social and had most of the city in a chokehold, but she wasn't the type to keep too many people in her private life.

"First of all, ouch, I have more friends other than you," you glared at her, which she promptly ignored, "second, I convinced your favorite teenagers to join us. What could go wrong? Am I right?"

Without asking, you already knew the teens she was referring to.

In the weeks after the dinner at Alfie's house, Cat spent at least one hour per day at the library, close to you. She made herself useful with the book system you created, helping to put the books back on the shelves before you asked for it. Other times, she would read to the little kids in a group that came with the people from the small daycare near the corner by the afternoon.

Cat was reading Dr. Seuss, a very old copy of Oh, the Places You'll Go!, with a few yellow spots at page corners due to time, one of the residents found under a bed when they first moved into a house and decided to donate it. The infants reacted with smiles and giggles when you heard the characteristic bell sound of the front door.

Ellie stepped in with two books under her arm. You recognized her plaid shirt from the day at the meadow, trembling a bit with the memory. "I presume you devoured both of those?" You said, nodding at the books. She laughed.

"Yeah, came to deliver these and get new ones," she replied, putting them on the counter. As you went to put them on the right shelf, you noticed her brown eyes lingering on the kids listening to Cat's reading.

"Why don't you sit with them for a bit as I get you something new?" She looked at you and nodded slowly, finding her a cushion on the floor behind the kids. You smiled and thought she probably hadn't experienced the childhood pleasure of someone reading for her. A quick image of your brother reading out loud came into your mind, and you buried it as you searched for your recommendation books' shelves.

Cat didn't mind Ellie listening to her as she flipped the pages and showed the images to the kids. Ellie was blinking slowly, following Cat's hand in front of the pages, no longer a teen but instead a child. You started to get her two books since only taking one per visit was no longer enough.

She came every day to the library. At first, she came and left in a few minutes, just wanting a book to take home, but slowly she started to stay longer. Sometimes, she came just to check the available titles, walking between the shelves; others to get new books to take with her, and at times just to go somewhere. She was lingering for something you didn't recognize but tried to provide to her. Comfort seems to be a word that came close to what you felt she needed. You separated a table for her, near the window, a little far from the main door, when you saw she only read at her house. It has been two weeks since she started to read by her chair.

Finishing the story, the kids got up, and the teacher thanked you and Cat, who was already on her feet and coming closer to Ellie. You noticed a little red on her pale cheeks, perhaps from not being around other teens that much.

"So, what do you think?" Cat asked with a smile similar to the one that Alfie gave.

"Kinda cool, but not much for me," Ellie answered, a little snarky but playful. You wondered if Joel had a similar approach to humor.

"Okay, what do you like then?" Walking through the shelves, Cat put a copy of The Princess Diaries at the table nearby. As Ellie rolled her eyes, Cat got a clue and flickered around the shelf a little longer until she found something. “Maybe this? It looks like a you type of book.”

Ellie read the Murder on the Orient Express engraved on the cover and gave a quick look at Cat, "Now we’re talking, what is it about?" and with that they kept talking until after the sunset. Your recommendations for Ellie that day were discharged as she took Agatha Christie home, following Cat's tip.

They became a buy-one-get-two kind of deal. Cat helped you around as Ellie sat and read whatever the girl chose for her. If Cat wasn't there, no problem, she would wait for her with you, doing whatever her mind wanted. This was one of those days when Cat wasn't supposed to be at the library for a while, and without someone of her age, Ellie swallowed up her shyness and started to talk with you at the back house.

The back house was mainly bureau style, with just the machine that once belonged to a printing place, primarily focused on invitations and small printing, you believed. Now, they were filling a different purpose, restoring books and helping to preserve memory a title per time. You were taking leather and measuring for a book spine near the table, Ellie watching it closely.

“Where did you learn to do this?” She quietly asked, absorbed in the process, her eyes watching every small move you made.

"My dad was an archivist for a church. Do you know what are those?" Putting the book spine right in the middle, you started to glue the leather at the cover and back cover. Ellie shook her head, confused.

"Books are more than just stories, they also hold details about the world around us. Or used to, at least. My dad's life purpose was to ensure that every document, book, or piece of paper that held the church's history, part of us, was in good condition. He took care of it to be preserved for the next generations. I used to watch him do this at our house, in his studio. I like to think he would like me to continue doing this."

“What kind of books a church needs?” Ellie was seated next to you, her arms crossed a little on the table with her chin resting above them. You glanced at her and saw that she was honest with her question.

"Do you know what a Bible is?" You asked, stopping all your actions. She shook her head once more. "Well, you don't need to know about it, anyway. Churches' books are mostly their origin history or a collection of stories about what they believe." Forcing your hands to work with the leather again, you reflected on how different your life would have been without religious symbols shoved down your throat.

"Sounds kinda lame if you need a book to tell you what to believe," she replied, twisting her mouth slightly as if she thought it was absurd. You smiled at her, thinking about how much she looked like your brother at the moment.

Cat came not much after that, together with Nath, who was wearing a t-shirt written: "turtley awesome." She saw you by the counter and grinned immediately, making you sigh.

"You have a new plan," you said, annoyed.

"Yes, I have a new plan." She announced at the same time. "Our favorite Mexican will be starting to work on the dam soon, so I thought my favorite doll could do this city a favor and deliver candles with me."

"That's it? Deliver candles from house to house?" Squinting your eyes at her, you felt it was too good to be true. She squinted back at you for a few seconds, making Cat laugh.

"She forgot to say that we don't have any candles left in storage. You'll need to make new ones," Cat said, and you mouthed an "oh" to Nath. Of course, her plan had a catch.

"Just like I said, our favorite Mexican will be working on the dam soon, and they need a shit ton of candles in, like, two days," Nath said, pointing to Cat, eyebrows raised. As Ellie left your work table and came closer to the counter, Nath looked at her.

"Nice shirt," Ellie observed, followed by Nath humming something and entering a staring contest with the girl. You looked at both of them, confused about what was happening.

"How old are you? 12?" Nath questioned. Ellie shortly replied, saying 14. "Do you have a curfew?"

"Okay, no more interrogation. Let the poor girl be. When do you want to start this candle mission?" Before Ellie opened her mouth, you moved your hands in a motion to stop, gaining a short laugh from both girls.

"You see, Cat I get it, but how did you convince Ellie to make candles with us? This is new. I only see her at the library," the gears inside your head running with you, wondering when they met beside the library a few days back.

"A lady never tells, Doll," she said, melting more wax, "but apparently, having a collection of t-shirts with puns did the trick."

From the Tipsy Bison, Nath had a good view of the main street. She was quick to observe who and what, and even faster to understand their motivations. She noticed that Tommy's niece was going every day to the library, and on the days it was closed, she would stay put at home.

Joel appeared here and there, mainly with Tommy by his side, she crossed paths with them a few times and could check Joel's address. With the house street in her mind, she made a connection: Ellie was going to the library straight from her house, not from the school building, and as Maria reported earlier, she was supposed to already have started.

Nath and Seth cooked the patrol's food daily, with the patrollers coming to the counter to collect it before going to the city gate. In one of the deliveries, she heard Joel would come with the day's patrol to inspect the dam before working on it. It was Sunday, the library was closed, Nath made up her mind to let Seth take care of the Bison for the day and started walking to Ellie's house.

"Hum, yeah?" The girl opened the door, confused. Nath and she had seen each other just once, at the library, a couple days ago. Ellie's eyes lingered a bit too much on Nath's chest area, probably reading the t-shirt with a mouse drawing and the phrase "smartest rat at the sewer."

"What color is your room's ceiling?" Nath asked, snooping with her eyes inside the house. Old American regular, not yet different from the previous decoration there before being occupied by J0el and his kid. Impersonal, just a place to sleep, not a home.

She needed to find a way to get Ellie outside fast since Maria lived on the other side of the street and could easily question her motives for being there.

“Dirty white, why?” Ellie crossed her arms and raised one of her brows.

"Congratulations, you are a bored teen. Let me tell you what’ll happen now: you’ll come with me and have an amazing city tour, or you can stay here and your best choice is to sleep." Nath started walking down the pavement, shouting, "You have a minute to grab your keys and follow me."

Ellie rushed behind her, eager to have any excuse to leave her house. Nath had two main focuses during the tour: to present her with the basics of how the city worked and to gain a new alliance. She tried to make sure the kid understood the main buildings.

"Okay, let's get to the basics: buildings. The city has some structures inside our walls, but we also have some land a few miles from here to get some specifics. The food you eat is a mix of everything, Chad," she pointed at the man working on the garden as they passed by it, "is our gardner. Vegetables, fruis — you name it, are harvest inside the city and the animals come from the land outside. Try to get close to Chad, when you crave something sweet, compliment him, and he will give you a few berries. Works like a charm."

"The stable's horses are for the whole community, but if you start to patrol, you can choose one to be your main one." Nath continued as Ellie looked back at her in wonder.

“Which one is yours?” Nath laughed at the absurdity of the question.

“I don’t patrol, kid. Do you really think that I’d go around the runners and lunatics outside these walls risking my life? Hell no! My contribution is good alcohol and movie nights orchestrated by yours truly at the mess hall. Do you like horror movies?" Ellie didn't answer immediately, almost as if she had never seen one. "Well, you can try and see if it fits. The next one will be in a few weeks, you should come."

They walked through the main avenue and the main buildings. Nath showed her where they produced paper, how they got new fabric to make more clothes and not rely only on "treasure hunting." Little by little, Ellie understood the whole system of the city, including the government model. They were walking back on the main avenue as Nath continued the final part of the tour.

"If you ever get fucked up pretty bad and need a doctor, you go there and ask for Edwin. He looks a thousand years old, but pretty cool dude in case of an emergency," she spoke, nodding at the clinic on the other side of the street.

About four houses down the street, she started to speak again. "The little kids stay at the daycare until late during weekdays – make sure to do not cross their paths, or you will smell a diaper from a mile away," she twisted her nose and pointed at the said building. Ellie laughed, eyes bright as if she was taking notes of everything.

"And this is the best place in this city," Nath said as they entered the Tipsy Bison as the city tour ended, "it also opens every day of the week but for adults, not pests. You can't drink anything I have behind this counter, but you can eat a mean grilled cheese. Hungry?"

Turned out it was Ellie’s first time in a bar, exactly what you would hope for a 14year old, anyway. She was seated at a stool in front of the counter, watching from the kitchen’s door Nath make her a sandwich. Above the door, there was a black plaque with white letters:

NO SWEARING

NO FIGHTS

NO CORDYCEPS DISCUSSIONS

NO END OF THE WORLD TALK

"Why the hell do you have these rules for?" Ellie asked out loud, making Nath look at the plaque as she passed the door with the grilled cheese plate. "What happens if someone breaks it?"

“Pawpaw’s rules, not mine, but I still follow them. Don’t test them and you will be fine. Eat your damn sandwich,” she replied, Ellie was already taking a bite. “You like to read, huh? I watch you walk to the library every day. Dolly may be somewhat innocent, but I’m not. You are running from something.”

"What do you mean?" Ellie replied, getting tense at her shoulders, her small mouth a little more rigid. "I have no clue what you’re talking about."

"I get it, pal. A new kid that crossed the country with a grumpy man and ended up in a small town? Not the smoothest life," the girl looked down and took another bite. Nath continued, "My grandpa and I had our share of adventures before coming to this place, just me and him. If anyone understands you, this person is me. You skip school to go to the library. Dolly hasn't realized it yet, but I do."

"What the fuck do you want from me?" Ellie replied using her meanest tone. Nath pointed at the plaque with the rules. The girl looked up. "Not saying sorry for your stupid rules."

“Didn’t ask you to. Listen, I’ll keep your secret for now if you do me a favor.” Getting herself a little closer to the kid, Nath whispered, “I need to deliver some things around town and can’t be seen while at it, but you, nobody knows you yet. Simple and easy.”

"What kind of things?" She questioned in the same breathy tone, trying to keep her posture. "What can you give me in exchange? I won't do it for a secret. It’s too little."

“Basic shit, I can give you more details later,” Nath replied and waited for Ellie’s reaction, that just nodded her head once, “here’s the deal: you make me one deliver to check the quality of your work and come to my house next Sunday afternoon with Cat, I get you something from a smuggler outside Jackson. You name it.”

"Really, man? You want me to help with your stupid candles?" Ellie rolled her eyes, and Nath maintained her neutral expression, trying her best to get the kid afraid of her. It worked.

Ellie took her last bite and shook her head, "Fine, but no, something smuggled is too little. I want your shirt. The turtley awesome one." They sealed the deal with a handshake. One week later, Ellie and Cat were helping to make candles, to your utter confusion.

"Are you sure that this is your preferred weekend activity?" You asked as you finished making the second batch of candles. Looking at Cat, you continued, "Aren't we too old to be your pals for the day?"

"Old? Yeah, lame? No, also, I'm hoping to be paid with another apple pie," Cat said, and you smiled at her, putting the topic to rest.

Turned out that 600 candles were indeed impossible with the amount of time you had. You were tired of making them until way after the sunlight went away. Cat had gone home already, Ellie stayed to help clean everything and you realized it was probably too late for her to walk back alone, Joel was most likely worried.

Despite the kid saying to you that it was alright, you insisted on chaperoning her, carrying with you some candles, hoping that Joel would be less angry by it. As you walked the few blocks to their house, you came to the conclusion that you had no indication, clue, or even context for what Joel was like. Ellie spent most of the days at the library, but you never spoke about her relationship with him. He was a book waiting to be opened, one that you wanted to read every page and write small comments at the margins.

“I’m home!” Ellie shouted downstairs, as she entered the main door, Joel came from the kitchen. “Oh no”, you thought.

With a cloth rag on his shoulder, he stopped near Ellie, both hands on his hips and a knee popped. She opened her mouth, he quickly dismissed, "Don't. I told you, this is a safe place, safe as it gets, but you need to give a heads up before disappearing like that."

"I lost track of time, sorry. Nothing bad happened. Tell him, Dolly," she replied quickly, looking at you behind her shoulder. You were still at the front door, feeling awkward to enter the house. Joel furrowed his brows and looked at you up and down.

It had been a hot day, summer was not far away anymore. A tank top with shorts made sense for a day with your best friend, but in front of Joel, you felt naked. More naked than the day at the meadow. You jumped a bit, put on your best polite voice, and announced, "Sorry for showing up late, we did lose track of time. Ellie stayed with us all day. I can assure you she was fine under my eye."

Joel gave you a look, almost as if he didn't believe you. Remembering your first proper encounter at the Bison, he knew immediately you hated your nickname. Now he knows you were being just polite, not yourself, real. He looked through the doll in you, putting some weight on how his dark brown eyes gazed at yours.

"I mean it, she showed up by noon at Nath's door and stayed a little later to help us clean the mess. We made candles for the nights without energy. No more than that. I brought you some." You said in your own voice, no more the doll one.

"Right," he replied, looking down and then to Ellie, "Go to bed, you have school tomorrow. It's okay. I'm not mad at you." Ellie nodded, her face tensed still, and left without making any comments, leaving you alone with Joel.

For a few seconds, staring at each other, you both seemed to forget what you were doing. He spoke first, "So, the candles, thank you for them. They’ll be useful."

“Yeah, they will.” Putting the candles in his hands, you looked away when your fingers touched his. Not giving in to the feeling, you continued, “Have you seen the dam yet?”

"Hum, no, I’ll see the dam structure tomorrow." Joel quickly replied, short answer.

“Maria told the council that you used to work as a contractor, are you happy to do it again?” You tried once more, hoping to get more words out of him.

"I think so, it’s been so long that it feels like another lifetime," Joel replied, putting the candles away and taking the rag from his shoulder, not daring to look at you. Another lifetime, another Joel.

A younger Joel would have already asked for you to join him in the kitchen for a drink, maybe to walk you home, not this version with old bones and fear of everything. This one was too busy trying to keep what he already had near him, avoiding at all costs to be greedy.

To say that his first day back at a construction site was a dog day would be to lighten it up. He lied to you. Joel met Tommy a week ago to understand better the dam plan, the needs, and all by visiting it.

"Alfie is a good fella, not like some of the people we used to work with back at Austin," Tommy said as they walked down the main avenue toward the city gate. Joel allowed himself to see his baby brother as the 50 year old man he was, putting some trust in Tommy's words despite his history of having too much faith in everyone that sold him a good story.

Over the prior weeks, he tried to get some ground for him and Ellie. He would make her breakfast early in the morning, just like when they were traveling. Leave a lampshade lighted all night near her bedroom door to avoid bad dreams. Meet her at the mess hall every night to have dinner with Tommy and Maria. Walk her to school every morning. However, no matter what he tried, he could still notice the weight on her stare from when she asked if he was being honest with her.

Biting down the corner of his mouth, Tommy introduced him to Alfie at the city entrance. The man was accompanied by a young girl who looked similar to him. "Alfie, this is my brother, Joel. He will be joining us today at the dam."

"I heard good things about your abilities. Nice to meet you," Alfie started with a smile and shook his hand, "this is Catarina, my daughter. I will be home before the sunset, mija."

Joel controlled the impulse to sigh. Alfie was too smiley, too happy, too endearing, too young. Probably had an effect on women because of his thick accent, and being in his late thirties, early forties maximum helped as well. He had a happy look in his eye as if he hadn't lived on the same Earth as Joel for the last 21 years.

Cat gave her father a long hug and started to walk, leaving Alfie to talk with Joel and Tommy. The scene felt like a slap on his face, a reminder of what he one day had and now was shaking on his boots to keep. He assumed that Cat and Alfie had a similar age difference as Sarah and he had. Alfie was a natural, appeared to get along with his daughter, could smile easily, and had been a good friend to his brother over time. Envy wasn't a natural feeling for Joel, but he was sure he was jealous of the young man's destiny over his own.

He could sense there was conversation near him but only paid attention when Alfie said his name back at him. "Cat and Ellie are getting closer. Perhaps you both could join us for a backyard barbecue," he invited, smiling.

"Yeah, we’ll be there. Thank you," Joel agreed, looking in front of him, despite having not heard a single time Ellie mention Cat. He didn't know when, but he got so lost in his thoughts as they followed the trail that he lost his sense of reality a little. They were no longer at Jackson but on the back of horses following for the dam. He had no idea of how much time had passed.

“Hey man, I forgot to ask you. We saw you at Dolly’s door the other night, all good?” Tommy started as he got closer to Alfie, Joel behind them at the back of the trail. “All this cat and mouse must be tiring.”

“Oh, Dolly,” Alfie looked down a little, peaking Joel’s interest. “It is not, like, she is avoiding me, you know? But she hasn’t searched for me yet, I don’t know what to do.”

Alfie's smile was no longer decorating his face. Joel felt slightly guilty when he found out he felt better seeing the man's sadness. He had crossed paths with you a couple of times, but you looked at him straight in the eyes instead of running away. He saw how you dropped your shoulders as Alfie left your doorway, almost as if you were annoyed by the idea of being close to the man.

For a second, Joel allowed himself to believe you would have put your arms around his neck if he was the one kissing your cheek instead.

"She is a little difficult, but hey, progress is progress! Have you tried to ask Nath about it?" Tommy put a hand on his tight and looked at Alfie, a little lost in his thoughts.

"Not directly, she scares me a little," both men laugh as Joel didn't get the joke.

“Well, you should get a beer and try to get some alliances if you really want the doll,” Tommy advised and went straight to the front of the trail.

A well-known face waited for them at the dam. Joel glared at Tommy, who didn't look back at his brother's face. "Can't believe you didn't tell me this shit," Joel hissed low in his brother's direction.

Eugene and Tommy were fireflies together. Joel heard about the man over radio conversations over the years, listening to Tommy's enthusiasm as he spoke of his people skills and electricity expertise. Tommy searched for an older figure in Eugene because he no longer trusted Joel, simple as that. When Joel and Ellie showed up last winter, Tommy kept Eugene's presence a secret. Coming back during spring, he told Joel right away.

"Okay, you gotta check this out. I found the old floor plant of the dam in one of the office's rooms near the entrance. It will be a good rainy season, baby!" Eugene shouted hoarsely as the trio stopped their horses, Tommy and Alfie already walking behind him. Joel, however, stood back, taking a good look at the former firefly.

A slender man with long limbs, round glasses cracked in one of the lenses, and shaggy gray hair. His front teeth were slightly separated inside of a large mouth. It burned Joel's blood seeing Eugene so carefree, living a good life after years of Firefly actions and filling his brother's mind with ideas. Joel saw in him an old man who hadn't allowed himself to get old and hoped he didn't appear like this to the others, a joke of a man.

You were looking at Joel like he wasn't a joke to you, at least not a big one. His mind returning to the house with you, he waved the cloth a little on the air as if thinking and speaking at the same speed. "Why was Ellie with you?" He questioned a little for himself and a lot for you. He put some weight on the remembrance of that day at the dam, deciding to deal with it later.

"My friend, the bar owner - Nath, invited her to the activity." You replied with a lower voice as you shoved your hands in the back pockets of your shorts. "I can tell her to no longer invite Ellie if you feel uncomfortable."

"No, it's fine. Just took me by surprise, I guess," he quickly replied, pouting a little.

As you opened your mouth to say goodbye, a sizzling sound filled the room, and the lights flickered, followed by silence and total darkness. "Goddammit, fucking Eugene," Joel said out loud, leaving an intense sigh out of his body.

In the total darkness, you saw his silhouette against the moonlight that filtered from the kitchen's windows, a little far from where you stood in the living room. You could only hear you and Joel breathing.

"Guess we will have to use the candles before we imagined," he dared to speak, walking backwards into his kitchen. You were unsure of what to do, start to walk home? Wait until he came back with a candle lit up?

You waited, not by choice, but because you couldn't decide in time. You saw Joel protecting the candle's flame as he got close to you, his face lines soft from the orange light. His dark brown eyes were even stronger as the flame danced, reflecting on them.

"Come, I’ll get you something to eat," he spoke gently, and you followed his steps to the kitchen table despite the fact you were talking back.

“No, I will walk home, it’s already late,” you said without any intention to leave.

“Nonsense, it’s too dark for you without the lamppost. Stay a bit,” he replied gentler.

There was something sweet about how Joel moved around when his guard was low. It was the third time you met the man, but you noticed his shoulder line relaxed and his hands precise in their movements. In the dark of his kitchen, you wondered if he would appear the same with the lights on.

Joel heated for you some leftover tomato soup he made earlier when he waited for Ellie to show up. With a hint of embarrassment, you accepted the dish, lowering a spoon and tasting it.

"I'm not a huge fan of winter food during hot weather, but this is very good." He smiled, and a dimple appeared on his cheek. "Do you like to cook?"

"Not really, but I had to learn it due to necessity," he shrugged, frowning down a bit with his mouth. You laughed, and he smiled again.

"I learned due to necessity, and my soups don't taste like this," you teased, having another full spoon.

Time passed with the candle melting, and the only sound on the first floor was both your voices. Without noticing, you were almost whispering. You weren't sure if it was to avoid waking up Ellie or because it felt like a secret to be there alone with him.

“Can I get a little nosy?” You chewed your lower lip after speaking, Joel nodded. “Ellie comes to the library all the time. I think she is avoiding something.”

Joel's eyes got harder. "What do you mean?" He questioned, putting his back against the chair, getting some space from you.

“She reads a lot, which is amazing, but she reads to forget reality, not to her entertainment.” You lowered your eyes at your almost empty plate. Silence filled the room again. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything.”

"You are right," Joel affirmed, crossing his arms at his chest. His eyes were lost on the wooden table in front of him. "The way to Jackson wasn't easy, I can tell you this much. She came from a FEDRA school, it takes time to learn how to be a kid when you were raised to be a soldier."

Finishing your soup and resting the spoon on the plate, you looked at Joel. The lines between his brows were stronger now, his hands around his biceps holding tight his body closed. His plush lips were tensed as he stayed quiet, immersed in his thoughts.

"Time heals most things," you started, earning a quick glance from him, "she will open her shell. I will keep an eye on her, pinky promise."

His eyes went back and forth between yours. You felt a little awkward after saying such a childish phrase in front of a man older than you, forgetting for a second you weren't speaking with Nath or your brother but with someone you were spending more than 5 minutes together for the first time. Despite that, he put one arm on the table, close to your hand, and lifted his pinky finger.

Smiling with your mouth closed, you enlaced your finger with his. He slowly looked from your finger to your eyes and smiled back. In the low and trembling light from the only candle in the whole room, with his dark eyes boring into yours, you never felt more seen.

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