#trying to regain my lost faith | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

damazcuz · 3 months

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I don't think people responding to the scrambled "uh oh, we got caught" Tumblr AI announcement with "just nightshade and glaze all the art you post guys! it's your own fault if you don't do that small step! It's ok we'll get through this!" are Getting It:

Everything has already been scraped, including the account you haven't been able to access since 2015. Yes even the private, locked sideblogs of all your old art. Did you glaze it? did you nightshade it? in 2015? can you log in and check? no? Opted in.

This also includes any writing, creative or otherwise, posted to Tumblr. Did you nightshade the poetry and fanfiction you posted to Tumblr on your old account in 2018? why not? not a plan-aheader huh? Opted in!

It's opt in by default and by design. People who left Tumblr ages ago will likely not hear about this and won't know to regain account access and opt out. People who have died won't be able to log in and opt out. People who deleted past accounts or sideblogs won't be able to log in and opt out. People whose content is reposted here from Pixiv or other external sources by unrelated third parties won't have any way to say "hey half of that blog is MY stuff. Opt ME out."

Sorry. They just have everything ever put on the site. And you didn't opt out in 2015 when you lost access to your login email, so it's included. This is on purpose because they don't WANT people to be able to opt out, they want people to stay opted in saying "well my art sucks so I'm poisoning the data model 👍" while posting jokes and creative writing, they WANT you to say "well I'm unaffected" and keep posting photos and text and stuff. Midjourney wants that and Tumblr wants to do anything it can to satisfy Midjourney and scrape some cash out of that deal.

I'm sorry because I love this place too, but genuinely the decisions being made here are business decisions being put into place by a company trying to squeeze the last drops of blood out of a stone. Tumblr is not your friend. Staff is not your friend. Automattic is not your friend. The CEO has hopefully PROVEN he is not anyone's friend. This is a business first and a product that they are selling, not to you and me, but to advertisers and partners. Tumblr will ensure that Tumblr users see their ads and supply them data.

Frankly I do not trust this company or this website and I cannot in good faith just believe that they're going to look at my opt out checkbox and say "okay! ^_^ we will remove everything Dama has ever said or done from our AI scrape. we promise to do it!" and then actually do it. They already have the data. They can just claim that whatever is produced through machine learning based in part off of my data is unrelated, came from other sources, etc. I do not have trust in this website. I don't see how anyone could at this point.

I feel like I'm watching a trainwreck from the inside and no one wants to get out of their seats and try hopping off into the safe grassy field. Wait, they say. Let's see if the train just climbs back onto the tracks, they say. The fire and explosions are all part of the process, they say. Eventually people will stop panicking or dying and it'll be a smooth ride, they say. Just look at how bright the horizon is.

#🛤️ well frankly i hope it explodes even faster.#lawsuit save me. lawsuit. save me lawsuit.

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theflyindutchwoman · 10 months

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I've got her! I've got her!! Right there. Here. Come on! Here she is. Help me.

| ANATOMY OF A SCENE - CHENFORD EDITION 2.11 - Day of Death

I can't express how much I love this episode. It is such a masterpiece that I know that anything I write will automatically pale in comparison… So I'm just going to gush over some of my favorite moments.

The way Tim's emotions are so palpable during the whole episode, but particularly here… For someone who's usually good at compartmentalising, it says a lot about his feelings that he can barely keep it together. The only time we saw him this feral and this distraught was over Isabel and she was his wife… The cinematography and music just enhance everything he is going through here : the golden lights that remind us that Lucy is running out of time… the haunting piano notes or silence that give an eerie atmosphere… the looming dead tree… All of this serve to heighten Tim's feeling of despair.

His distress when Angela announces that she can't tell from the video if Lucy's still alive, is written all over his face. So is the confusion that quickly changes to hope when he spots her moonstone ring… And how symbolic is it that he finds her ring. Or that Lucy threw it as a breadcrumb - for him specifically. He once told her that the most important thing she needed was her eyes - cop eyes - and she remembered it. She left something for him to find, knowing that he would, as she admitted to him later. Because he also taught her during the manhunt that she's never alone. But it goes beyond trust : what she had was faith in him. And the fact that he rapidly recognises her ring just shows how attuned he already is to her. As far as we know, she only wore it twice in his presence : when they won the roundup competition and when she gave him her "evaluation" of him. And yet, he remembered and knew that it wasn't just some random piece of jewellery. Granted, the odds that someone else lost a ring there were minimal. But as we've seen with his Valentine's day present, he was paying attention to her.

And then there's this mix of desperation and hope when he finds out where she's buried, calling the others frantically, digging her out with his bare hands, not even stopping for a shovel… Or when he opens the barrel, not knowing if she's merely unconscious or not breathing… When he breathes life back to her… Armstrong's look says it all : what's driving Tim is something far more powerful than just guilt. Or duty.

There's also this immense sigh of relief that can be heard once Lucy regains consciousness… The way he's gently putting one hand under her head to make her more comfortable and help her get her bearings, maintaining contact with her to ground her… It's such a contrast to how feral he was before. Or the way he holds her close to him at first when she starts crying, trying to comfort her before hugging her tightly, cradling her, swaying a bit, with his hand in her hair… The way her trembling hand is gripping Tim, holding onto him like a lifeline… How she's hiding in his embrace and he's giving her some sense of privacy when she breaks down… How he's whispering soothing words to her - and I love that we can't really hear what he's telling her, that everybody else are giving them time and space. It adds to this feeling of intimacy, to this idea of privacy he's giving her despite the fact that they're surrounded by their friends and colleagues - and commander. It's just the two of them in that moment. That hug was as much for her than for him. After the ordeal she went through, Lucy desperately needed to feel safe again - or as safe as possible. And Tim himself needed the reassurance that she was alive. To quote another show - he cares, a lot more than he's supposed to. And it was in full display in this episode.

#the rookie #chenford #chenfordedit #lucy chen #tim bradford #2.11 #Anatomy of a scene - Chenford Edition

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n3xii · 1 year

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Hello! This post explores where you may be currently on your financial situation, and the good news coming towards you. Keep in my that this is for entertainment purposes only, don't force something to resonate if it doesnt

masterlist Piles:

♡Pile one

Where you are currently: the high priestess

I feel like this card is describing your intenral relationship with financial matters, its telling me that your situation is very Influenced by your trust in the work you're doing to preserve and reach your goals, you trust that your hard work is paying off even if you don't see results. You trust that abundance is generating behind the scenes even if you aren't consciously aware of it

Good news coming: 4 of pentacles reversed

This may not be the good news you want to hear but I see you not attaching yourself to material wealth or material things in general, I see you releasing unhealthy atchments to money and obtaining wealth espeically in ways that are obsessive or unhealthy. I basically see you detaching from what you're trying to manifest, and trusting the process more than ever.

¤☆pile two

Where are you currently: the star

You may be recovering from a loss or setback and regaining your sense of faith that things are getting better again. This also comes off as a situation where more balance is being integrated financially, and now there's room for practicality and innovation. I see you being able to pour into different aspects of your life, and whatever you lacked or lost is being restored by the universe aligning things up to help you

Good news coming towards you: the devil

Whatever restrictions and limitations where holding you back will be dispating, you will take back control over the narrative that was dominating you when it came to money. Any people or restrictions that controlled your freedom when it came to money won't influence you as much anymore.

☆°Pile three

Where are you currently: 3 of cups

I feel like this pile has been generous with their money when it comes to social outings, going out, (drinking for some of you) there's an emphasis on having fun and letting loose celebrating and living life. Three of cups does talk about abundance and having enough for everyone, so some people in this pile have been living lavishly either on their own pocket or from someone else's money, either way i see yall enjoying your time

Good news coming towards you: knight of wands

Short burst of energy and motivation will propell you into action, new opportunities and avenues to making money. You will charge after potiental and make things happen, nothing will hold you back. the good news coming towards you is that you will be very active when it comes to your finances, very confident and assured in your ability to take action.

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skippyhawk · 6 months

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it’s taken me over 24 hours to even begin to think about putting my thoughts on this episode into words. i still don’t feel fully able to do that, but i’ll at least try.

this isn’t a weak episode. it’s literally the exact opposite– a heavy, complex representation of how tim and hawk’s love for each other is all-encompassing. the way they continuously affect the courses of each other’s lives despite their extreme, life-altering attempts at moving on and burying their past. the tone of this episode is practically repentant in order to assure you understand exactly what time has done. their love is tangled and glum, and you’re forced to face that as they realise it themselves.

hawk has children to cement his position as a loving husband but tim’s unwavering presence, even though not physical, ripples into every aspect of his life and fully manifests through jackson as he perceives and experiences the effect of the misplaced aspects of his father’s love. how this void in his life where that love sinks to has an almost gravitational pull on everyone around him. in brief, the ramifications imposed on his family and those near him by this are literally beyond measure.

in turn, tim’s convictions send him to a place that in turn strips him of them, and with losing his faith in “everything” he’s also lost faith in their love.

as tim meets jackson, he regains some of that faith; he finally understands there’s an unspoken, seemingly imaginary (one was a fantasy) consequence to their love. this makes it real again– in hawk’s fragmented life, tim fills every crack. he is etched in the line between his son’s furrowed brows.

this realization is what ultimately pushes him to turn himself in. to repent not only for the sin of loving, but being loved.

#fellow travelers #episode 6 #ft spoilers #excuse any grammatical errors. i have covid and a fever #ft ramble

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lynxgriffin · 7 months

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"I think what Kris may have lost with Dess's disappearance is less innocence, and more self-confidence. I think their primary problem (and why they sought out being possessed in the first place) is that they feel indecisive and lack courage. They withdraw from people and refuse to participate in regular life less out of a lack of kindness, and more out of the mindset of "Why bother? I'll just screw it up anyway." (Which is probably part of why they feel kinship with Susie…they feel like they're on the same wavelength there.)

And Ralsei aggravates that position for them because, aside from his kindness and optimism, he is very insistent that specifically Kris should be the decision-maker. He pretty much tries to always make Kris feel good about their decisions, even the ones that he clearly doesn't like. If Kris's primary problem is they lacking the courage to make their own choices, Ralsei seems laser-focused on convincing Kris otherwise. Which, I feel makes Ralsei being a manifestation of Kris's soul all the more interesting…that for all Kris believes that they aren't capable of that courage, there is a part of them that does believe they're capable, and that's the part that has taken on a life of its own. Just! I think that could end up being pretty powerful!

Sorry, I know this is kind of a tangent from your original tangent, but it is a thing I enjoy thinking about, so thanks for the opportunity! "

…

I'm glad that people and in particular you, Lynx, like this topic. So I'm here again to share my thoughts :D

I want to talk about Kris's injuries, and that line "Why bother? I'll just screw it up anyway."

It's like a learned helplessness injury, if I'm not mistaken. When many bad events happen in a row in a person’s life, and no matter how hard they try, they cannot influence them. Kris faced enough problems that they began to consider themselves completely helpless and unable to influence the world on their own. Dess's disappearance, Asgore's dismissal from the police, parents' divorce, brother's departure to college. Having finally lost faith in their own strength, they decided to give control of their body to someone else. This sounds very logical.

Ralsei, in turn, seems to be really focused on restoring Kris's faith in herself, and the belief that something can still be done even without the player's participation. Progress in this direction is noticeable already at the end of the first chapter, when Kris, seemingly lost in everything, without the player’s command, independently, being wounded, protect Susie from the King’s attack. Susie is also an important figure here. Unlike Kris, on the contrary, she is extremely strong-willed and self-confident. She will break through the wall, demolish everything in her path, but achieve her goals. She even violated the mechanics of the battle just out of spite, took it and learned how to act, and even gave this option to her partner. There's a bit of Undyne from UT about her. DETERMINATION :D Susie for Kris is the same image of the ideal as Asriel. Only Asriel was a model of friendliness and success, Susie was a model of confidence and determination to act, something that Kris now lacks. That's why they probably like her.

As a result, we see that Kris is now positively influenced by two characters. Ralsei is focused on supporting and regaining self-confidence, while Susie says less, but with all her appearance shows that believing in yourself and your strengths is cool. And not only will Kris become more independent as the chapters progress, but Ralsei, with Kris’s condition improving, will be able to focus more on personal problems and the questions “who am I?” It's very interesting where this will all lead in the end.

Now something else occurred to me. Throughout the game we are told that the choice does not affect anything. What if this appeal is not to us, but Kris’s appeal to themselves?? Their entire childhood was not influenced by anything, they could not choose who they would be born with and suffer from it, they could not choose what would happen to Dess, they could not choose whether their parents would be together or not. And will my brother go to college? All their lives their choices didn't matter. And this is exactly what we will hear before the first chapter.

The player’s choice, in turn, has weight, because the player can go for murder (they don’t survive after freezing the entire body, I verified). Kris, on the other hand, doesn’t try very hard to resist the player, because they don’t believe that they can. We don’t know for sure, but I assume that extracting a soul from a body is possible not only in the light world. Then, if the Kris believed in themselves enough, they would try to interrupt the battle with Berldy, force Noelle to ignore the creepy voice (which continues to sound even if Kris is defeated), and give everyone time to get out of sight.

But I don't blame Kris, they need some more time to gain the determination to act and interfere with the player's actions.

Now at the time of two chapters we have the following diagram: Kris is convinced that their decisions don't matter. The player's decisions matter and can significantly impact the world.

The further we move, the more the influence of Susie and Ralsei will affect the will of Kris. And if they don’t like our decisions, we will be thrown out of the body more and more often, and perhaps they will learn to choose options for us by moving our hearts against our will. If Kris see that we are doing our best and really want to help, they will give us more freedom of action. Now we don't just control Kris, but they decide when to give us the right to control them. Now we obey.

Another interesting thing is that during the game you can sometimes come across dialogue options that would suit the character of Kris. For example, posing for the camera, we can choose a rude gesture, I think this is what they would choose. Or when Susie asks whose side Noelle is on, we can jokingly answer that she is our enemy.

If future chapters are released as an installation package along with the first two chapters, then it is possible that part of the code of the first two chapters will be supplemented and all information about our elections will be saved and used in the future, even if we did not take cruel paths. For example, like in UT when Toriel remembers our flirting at the end of the pacifist, Kris if they ever talk to us, they can remember how we made them hug Ralsei. We can choose what we want throughout the game, or we can choose what we think Kris would choose, and our decisions will influence dialogues or events in the future. We have already seen how the decisions from the first chapter influenced the second; in the battle with the capture of the Rouxls houses, Kaard uses exactly the same structure that we assembled in the first chapter. Also, for some reason, the game stores information about which vessel we collected at the very beginning.

Ultimately, we can either find common ground with Kris or make them hate us. If hatred leads to a battle, then against all three at once, Susie will be just happy to thrash someone bad, and Ralsei will never leave Kris and help them. But my intuition tells me that this will not be a battle, but something else, I don’t know why, the battle would be too obvious or something.

If you’ve read this, thank you) I love to think, and it’s especially nice to do this when there are people with similar interests.

Thank you again for sharing your thoughts!!

My thoughts on Kris's feelings towards their actions (again, may be art coming for this soon!) is that they feel a degree of responsibility for the bad things that have happened in their life, stemming from the incident with Dess. It could be like a learned helplessness, but I also see it as a "I cannot be trusted to make the right choices" kind of conditioning. Being the only human in a monster town, I can see them even pinning the blame on their humanity for their mistakes, since well…it's clearly the thing that's always made their life harder, anyway.

They do need their friendships to help set them on a path to self-acceptance and self-reliance, and the Dark World is facilitating that, which is why I think they are more and more focused on going back there!

In regards to the whole "your choices don't matter" theme, which people seem convinced applies to both the player and character…I think it's actually a lot more subtle than that. After all, the theme of Undertale is not "kill or be killed," even though an authoritative character tells you that at the start of the game. I actually think that the second voice at the end of the goner maker sequence saying "no one can choose who they are in this world" IS Kris speaking, because that's the mindset that they're currently in, and it's one they need to learn how to grow past by the end of the game. All of the main characters feel, in some way, that they are trapped by their own identities. Breaking free of these roles they feel they have no choice in is, I think, a narrative thoroughline we'll get through the whole game.

And I have a whole long twitter thread about this, but yeah, I do think that it's inevitable that we'll be cut off from controlling Kris at the end, because that feels like the natural conclusion to Kris's character arc. Kris starts out feeling like they can make no good choices, so someone needs to hold their hand. So by the end, it feels appropriate that they come to realize that they can act on their own, and that they don't need anyone holding their hand…not even the player controlling them. Whether that parting is on good terms or bad ones depends on how the player treats them and their friends…Ralsei does say that how we treat others can make all the difference!

I know this is just rambling on top of your rambling, but I appreciated reading yours, so I hope this rambling is appreciated, too!

#ask lynx stuff #I really should sit down and just write up a long long post #on what I believe Deltarune's themes are #and how that comes out in the characters #because that's just fascinating to me

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dawnbreakersgaze · 2 months

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I have such an extra special fondness for Raf's sea god outfit in the photo booth because together we look like the silliest rom-com, will they/won't they couple

"She was just an average run of the mill artist who took a trip to a secluded beachside cabin to try and regain her inspiration after a brutal breakup. That was until the fateful day she saw a beautiful man washed ashore while on her morning inspiration walk. After getting him inside and warmed up, her life would be forever changed when she found out he was the soon-to-be God of the Tides.

Could this ridiculous, dramatic man really be a God? And could he actually help her reclaim her lost muse? And could Rafayel really find a faithful follower in this scatterbrained, sarcastic, broken soul?

Tune in next week on- My Roomate is The God of the Tides"

#honestly its so silly but id watch it lol #lnds #love and deepspace #lads #l&ds #love & deepspace #rafayel #rafayel love and deepspace #god of the tides rafayel

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cloudcountry · 1 year

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ivan kupala

SUMMARY: The whole point is about summer solstice and renovation of nature, but we're gonna focus on one particular tradition here: girls make flower crowns, decorate them with candles and ribbons and release them into a river or a creak as a way to look into the future. It is said that the guy who picks up a flower crown like that is the girl's one true love and will become her husband. So the mc in this one is obviously Slavic(probably implied female, but you can change it however you see fit) and missing their home and culture, as well as having a crush on Riddle. So I put my faith in your writing skills so you can manifest a creak on NRC's territory, we have our mc with a crush releasing a flower crown, a clueless Riddle picking it up and bringing it to them - BOOM.

CHARACTER: Riddle Rosehearts

WARNINGS: None!!

COMMENTS: this was a request on ao3 with a slavic mc!! also reader is implied to be afab but they/them pronouns are still used!!!!

~~~~~

Homesickness was hitting you hard as the weather warmed up and the flowers around Ramshackle began to bloom. In an effort to combat this, you spent most of your free time gathering flowers and weaving them together. Back in your world, it would have been Ivan Kupala today, and even though that didn’t matter to Crowley you were not about to give up one of the parts of your culture that brought you comfort.

Once the wreath was finished, ribbons and candles decorating the woven flowers, you made your way down to the mini creek that passed through the Botanical Gardens. It ran throughout the whole campus and from what you remember the Science Club was often tasked with checking the water purity to make sure the natural beauty of the water was preserved.

Crowley’s words, not yours.

Crouching down, you gently place the crown of flowers in the water. It bobs for a few seconds before drifting away, and you watch it go. Eventually it leaves the greenhouse and you can no longer see it, so you make your way back to Ramshackle.

A few hours pass as you busy yourself with cleaning up your dorm, the dust and grime having practically vanished since you came here. A knock on the door stops you from sweeping, and you can’t help but be confused. There’s no one aside from Malleus that would visit you, but he isn’t normally here at this hour. Leaning the broom against the wall, you make your way over to the door and pull it open.

Riddle stands on your doorstep with your wreath in hand, a confused look on his face. Your heart catches in your throat and you wait for him to speak with bated breath.

“Pardon my intrusion, Prefect.” he says, holding out the wreath for you to take, “This was floating in the creek by Ramshackle and I wanted to make sure it wasn’t a decoration of some kind that you had lost.”

“Um…no, that’s not what it is. Riddle, do you guys have a tradition involving wreaths and marriage here?” you ask, hoping there’s something similar to Ivan Kupala so he’s not flying blind here.

“I…don’t think so, no. Though I did not celebrate many holidays as a kid.” he mumbles, brow furrowing, “Why do you ask?”

You explain what that wreath means, stumbling over your words when you get the part about how the first man to pick up your wreath would be your future husband. Riddle’s face is turning red by the second, his lips wobbly and eyes wide.

“Ah, pardon me then.” he blurts out, fumbling as he hands you the wreath like he’s in a rush to leave, “I…didn’t mean to imply such a thing, I’m so sorry-”

“Hey, hey! It’s okay. I wouldn’t want it to be anyone else.” you try your best to smile as he freezes in place, hands clearly shaking from nerves.

He swallows thickly, peeking at you through his lashes.

“Well, uh- in that case, it would- be my pleasure to, um- I mean, I would love to…” he winces before taking a deep breath in an attempt to regain his composure, “I wouldn’t mind courting you. Shall I begin the process, or...?”

You try to hide your laughter behind your hand, but he notices.

“Why are you laughing?! Did I do something wrong?” he freaks out, gnawing at his lower lip worryingly.

“No, no. You’re just so adorable.” you laugh again, and he can only blush harder.

#auburn's fics <3 #drabbles <3 #disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland #disney twst x reader #twst x reader #riddle rosehearts x reader #riddle x reader #riddle rosehearts fluff #slavic yuu

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huskynotwolf · 1 month

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Down the River

-song by the Crane Wives

-fanfic by The Crazy Husky

No. 8

(Electric Guitar: Pearl)

“What do you mean?” Pearl asked. “Martyn knew about this?” She regained her balance and yanked away his hand.

“Earlier, when you left the room, he said, “Sun’s falling gaze, lost in the watching eyes’ haze. He knew that this was going to happen. Either-“ Scott blurted. Pearl shook her head. “Coincidence. There’s no way.”

“Hang on!” Scar yelped. “I though Martyn was missing!” He recoiled when Pearl whipped around to face him. “He’s not gone, isn’t he?” Impulse asked. Pearl seemed slightly shocked. “Wait no-“ She was interrupted by Scar shaking her shoulders and yelling, “I don’t know and I don’t care, Grian isn’t okay!”

Scott patted Pearl’s shoulders. “I’ll go.” She nodded and he ran off, racing after Scar. He could briefly hear Pearl saying, “Yes, he’s still alive! We found him, but you definitely wouldn’t want to see him, alright?!”

Scott was reasonably sure that what Martyn said was definitely linked with Grian. He followed Scar into Grian’s room to find him perched on his bunk bed, clutching his head and the Eyes around him flickering violently.

“…The fish out of sea. Missing eye. The lone wolf. Falling sand.” He gasped. Scar scratched his head, confused, then turned to Scott. “Yeah. This.” He said. He approached his friend and crouched next to him. “Hey, it’s alright. Are you okay?” Scar received no response.

“Grian, talk to me.” Scar urged. Scott watched as Scar shook Grian’s shoulder. He gave no reply, then all of a sudden the Eyes slammed shut and disappeared. His glowing purple wings from behind his back faded to nothing with a whoosh.

Scott flinched, but Scar didn’t notice anything and instead looked at Scott and said, “We need a therapist.” “No…” Scott replied, shocked. What did the Watchers do? It was unlike anything else he’d seen before.

“Where are…the eyes?” Scar asked, confused. Scott clutched his hand and gripped it tight. “I think…I think the Watchers just took away his powers. Martyn said, “Sun’s falling gaze”. He must’ve meant Grian’s powers as a Watcher.” Scott said grimly.

Just then Gem burst open the door. “Scott, Scar, something’s—“ she noticed Grian on the floor, hyperventilating. “What’s wrong with him? Oh gods-“ she rushed forward to try and comfort Grian while Scar looked out the door when he heard something.

It was a scream from Impulse. He skidded down the hall, screaming, “He’s definitely alive! Definitely!!” He looked back, let out another shriek and crashed into Scar. “What’s happening?” He asked.

“Martyn. He just-just suddenly had glowing freaky golden wings. It freaked both of us out but then he started saying gibberish.” Impulse said, frantic. Grian let out a noise that sounded like a squeak and fainted. Scott yelped and tried to help him up.

Scott then suddenly heard slight guitar playing. It must’ve been Pearl, because only she would do a solo with this extremely weird timing. “I’ve been wishing that you’d prove me wrong,” her voice hinted that it was definitely Pearl. “That you’d come clean and rue the damage done, restore my faith in you,”

“Now’s not the time!” Scar heard Impulse yell. He twisted around to see him and Gem looking down the hall, presumably at Pearl. “Restore my faith in you, but you’ve got no reason to.” She replied, turning up her guitar’s volume slightly.

“‘Cause ain’t it easier to just move on? One door closeting mean another one opens unto, some unsuspecting fool,” Pearl half sang, half yelled. Among her singing, Scar could also hear other people’s voices. “Sure, you can forget about all the things you've done,but what about the rest of us?(“What about the rest of us?”)” It was definitely Skizz who was singing with Pearl. Was he mad at Impulse?

Scar left Scott to try and wake Grian and peeked out to see what’s happening. Sure enough, Tango, Skizz, Etho and Pearl (somehow Bdubs wasn’t there?) gathered together and humming along to Pearl’s guitar. “High-tail it when it gets to be too much, but what about the rest of us? (“What about the rest of us?”)” Pearl and Etho smiled at each other. It was slightly awkward seeing the two of them singing, but he didn’t give a comment. Impulse began walking over to Pearl and the rest of TIES, guilt pouring out.

“Sail us down the river. You can sail us down the river. You were never the one to suffer,” Pearl narrowed her eyes down at Impulse but said nothing. Gem had also walked over and joined Pearl on the ‘stage’ (the windowsill; Pearl’s trying to maximise the risk of falling off the building.) “~~~”

“I've been hearing that you're leaving town, the dust never settles when you're around. Too many people with your name on top of their lists,” the deer lady sang. Scar looked back into Grian’s room to check if he’s okay, and he could see Scott trying to breath in his mouth. “Scott…he’s alive, right?” I asked. He gave me a look and said, “yes, but barely.”

Then Grian coughed and opened his eyes, gasping for breath. “What the-no. Oh no.” He panted. Scott, without waiting a reply, hauled him to his feet and plopped him on his bed. “Stay,” Scott told him, then walked out of his room towards me.

“Now, tell me, when you start again? Where will you house your skeletons? Or will they stay behind? Your settlement in kind?” Gem asked. “Sure, you can forget about all the things you've done, but what about the rest of us? (“What about the rest of us?”)

“High-tail it when it gets to be too much, but what about the rest of us? (“What about the rest of us?”)” Scott approached Impulse from behind, his head clustered with a hundred thoughts and questions. Why had Pearl so suddenly began singing this song? Was it for the former team TIES? Or just out of spite? Though judging from the looks that Etho, Tango and Skizz gave Impulse, he was sure that they had told her to do it.

“Sail us down the river. You can sail us down the river. You were never the one, to suffer.” Gem gave Impulse a sorry glance, but said nothing. Pearl, who was the most emotional among the four of them, was on the brink of breaking. “Down the river,”

“Down the river,” the girls looked at each other, while Scott walked up next to Impulse and patted his shoulder.

“Down the river, Down the river, Down the river.” Gem finished, and Pearl slowed down. Finally, the two leaped down from the windowsill and walked towards Impulse. Gem even gave him a hug. Scar looked up from the four, then glanced at the remains of TIES. Or now, BEST.

Team BEST is back. In the worst possible way, Scar thought to himself. Grian’s down, Martyn’s down, and now the Last Life alliances are back.

#pearlescentmoon #scott smajor #trafficblr #life series #grian #martyn #howling stars au #SoundCloud #down the river #crane wives

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blackjackkent · 5 months

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So... I was already going to write something about Hector and Karlach, and Hector being forcibly reminded that Karlach would rather die free than go back to Avernus and live, and Karlach laughing it off in the dryad's vision, and Hector feeling like shit about it.

And then this happened when I went back to camp:

"Ngh. Soldier... my engine. It hurts... I think this might be it. Soon. Thing's burning hotter than I knew it could."

"But look - we've just about made it to the city. That'll do me. Let's go protect it. Whatever happens after that is between me and the so-called gods."

"You don't think we'll find you a cure?"

"With this heat going, I can't spare the energy to think. I just want to enjoy whatever's left of this life of mine. Anyway, it could be worse. I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. With who I'm meant to be with. How many people can say that?"

-------

She laughs again, grins and shakes it off, and suddenly he can't take it anymore.

"Damn it, no!" he snaps. "Stop that! Stop laughing about it, as if it doesn't matter!"

She blinks, draws back a little, startled. Hector very rarely loses his temper; the last time she saw it was in the House of Healing against Malus's terrible cruelty. Not here, not in camp, where they're safe and they're together. "Soldier--"

"Don't 'Soldier' me." Hector's jaw works and then he looks away from her abruptly, staring down at the ground. "This isn't funny, Karlach. It isn't a joke. You heard what Dammon said. If we don't find a cure, you'll die."

Karlach's smile fades. "You think I don't know what death means, Hec?" she says more sharply. "I've seen way more of it than you have. I know what Dammon said, and I also know what I said. I'm not going back, not ever. Not even to save my life."

"I know. Believe me, I heard every word when you told me." Hector's lips draw into a tight line. "I'm not talking about that."

She hesitates, puzzled. "What are you talking about, then?"

"How am I supposed to feel, when you look at me, and say you're about to die, and laugh?" He looks up at her, his eyes burning with frustration and pain. "Do you expect me to laugh too? Do you expect me to pretend like it makes no difference?"

She frowns. "No, I--"

"Because I can't," he continues hoarsely. "I can't laugh. I can't shake it off the way you can. I..." He pauses, rubs a hand down his face, desperately trying to regain his habitual control, but it feels completely lost to him right now.

"I will never, not once, tell you what decision you need to make. This is your choice. Your life. I wouldn't take that away from you." He shakes his head. "I respect you too much for that. It's your body and your soul, your free will and your choice. But I need you to respect me too, enough to believe that what you choose affects me too."

He feels his voice crack, and dashes his hand in frustration and shame against his eyes, feeling dampness in them. "I love you," he whispers, clenching his fists at his side in the struggle for control. "I love you, Karlach... so much, so deeply... I didn't know feelings like this existed in the world until I met you. I was taught to be self-reliant, to need no one's reassurance, to keep my heart wrapped up in books and faith and dust, but then I found you, and there's no going back to that. I'm lost in you." He hesitates. "As... as I hope you're lost in me."

He can see her expression twisting with emotion but he doesn't give her time to speak. It's all coming out now, everything he usually doesn't have the words - or the bravery - to articulate. "I'm not trying to change your mind. I've learned so much from you, from everything we've experienced out here - and one of the things I've learned is that there are things more important than living or dying. That there are things worth dying for. If this is yours... I won't stand in the way."

He swallows. "But I need you to understand that... I don't know what I will do without you. And when you laugh, when you act as if it doesn't matter that you will be gone... it tears my heart out."

Silence. He's run out of words and stares at the ground in front of her feet, his shoulders tight with the effort of keeping his voice steady.

When she finally answers, her voice is softer. "Dammit, I'm... I'm sorry, Hec. I really am. This, how I am..." She gestures vaguely at her own chest. "In Avernus, it was the only way to stay sane. You had to laugh about it all, or you'd go mental." She snorts bitterly. "I told you, that's the only reason I hung around with Flo. She was a bastard, just a complete motherfucker... but she made me laugh. And I couldn't make it otherwise. It would've crushed me."

She pauses for a moment and then goes on. "I don't want to die, Hec. I really don't. I never had the chance to live like this, loving someone, loving you, and doing good work, and feeling like I mean something. And I don't want to hurt you. Gods... that's the last thing I want."

She reaches out cautiously, takes his hand. He draws a sharp breath, although his shoulders instinctively relax, feeling the familiar pulse of her heat against his skin.

"I love you too, Hec," she says quietly. "You're not the only one who never thought life could feel like this."

He lets the held-in breath out shakily and grips her hand like a lifeline in a storm. "I'm scared, Karlach," he admits in a whisper. "I don't know if I can do this alone."

"You won't be alone." She smiles slightly. "We've got a pretty good group going here, now. And you're way stronger than you think. I've seen it." She hesitates. "Proud of you, y'know."

He closes his eyes and swallows desperately against the lump in his throat. "Thank you," he says softly. A pause. "I'm proud of you too, you know," he adds after a little while. "For standing by what's important to you. I want you to know that, no matter what else happens."

Her fingers tighten around his fiercely. "And I won't laugh about it, not anymore," she adds with a slight nod. "Didn't think about how it sounded to you. I won't make that mistake again."

He nods, musters a slight smile as he looks up at her. "Thank you. That's all I ask."

She steps forward, wraps her arms around him tightly, and he sags forward into her, burying his face into her neck. It's a great irony, he reflects, that the same heat which is going to kill her makes him feel so warm and comfortable in her arms.

His eyes squeeze shut against her and he lets out a single gasped breath, almost a sob. But only the one. Then he has control again, and all he does is lean into her and hold on as if his grip might somehow prevent her from ever slipping away from him.

And though he will not say it aloud, inwardly he prays for some miracle, some way out of the darkness that sits in his future when she is gone. Because he truly does not know how he will bear it.

#bjk plays baldur's gate 3 #hector carlisle #drabble #long post #bg3 drabble #karlach x tav #karlach/tav #karlach bg3 #karlach cliffgate #karlach #oops i made myself sad :(#i am trying really hard not to spoil myself on her act 3 questline #but the temptation to look it up and see if there's any chance for a happy ending here is very strong #:( poor hec is trying so hard to do the right thing #and it hurts so bad

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iamnot-crazy · 3 months

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Stowaway Chapter 11

Trafalgar Law x Fem!Reader

Summary:

The reader is a slave to a nobleman due to her devil's fruit ability which allows her to control the emotions of the people around her. She flees to bump into Trafalgar Law and boards his ship.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10

A/N: Same topics as the previous chapter but if I were to title this Chapter I would call it Robin's and Sanji's therapy session.

---

As you sit in your thoughts a new figure joins. Sanji announced his presence by offering tea to the two beautiful ladies. Robin smiled taking the cup off the tray and grabbing the other to hand to you. You curl out of your ball and nervously take the cup.

Sanji lowers himself opposite to you and Robin leaning on the railing. You sighed, the sound heavy with the weight of the impending interrogation. You didn't try to leave this time excepting your faith. Sanji pulled out his cigarette blowing out a puff of smoke, "So how are you doing now?" He asked with concern laced in his voice.

"Why are you two so concerned for me?" You finally asked as you watched the two exchange glances.

Sanji sighed, "Let's just say we both can't help but feel a tinge of familiarity." seeing him act so seriously in front of women was unusual but something about this topic brought out a rarely seen side of him.

You look down at the warm tea in front of you understanding his words. "I don't want to die… At least I don't think I do." you spoke, "I don't know what came over me. I just want to protect what I do have now."

"Regaining all your memories at once is probably not helping," Robin stated, "You have a lot to sort through."

You nod in agreeance, "Why don't you tell us what you remember to sort it out." Sanji spoke up.

You sigh, "I never lost my memories of my time before the heart pirates. My mother's death… then being sold by my stepmother into the cruel world of the auction… the time with my first master. I was forced to forget escaping and running into Law and the warmth I found with Law and the Heart Pirates. Their acceptance, their love… it helped me heal, piece by shattered piece. I miss them." You pause as you think about your crew.

"My escaped gnawed at my master, his possessiveness refusing to let me go. He eventually tracked me down connecting me with the Heart Pirates. When I revealed to Law that my master was connected to Doflamingo he was covered with fear. Law never spoke of his past with Doflamingo just that he had one and my powers told me that he was filled with an unspoken terror. To protect Law from facing the man before he was ready, I fled to Amazon Lily, the island where we took your captain after Marineford."

"Amazon Lily?!" Sanji growled, "That bastard was on the Amazon Lily!" His glare shoots towards his captain full of jealousy and envy.

"Sanji," Robin warned causing the chef to refocus on your story.

You continued your story as your mind flashed to your capture.

---

Panic pulsed through the air as the island buzzed with desperate energy and Amazonian warriors prepared for battle. A rumor that a foreign ship has been spotted outside the island struck your attention. You wanted to run toward the forming battlefield but the pirate empress herself stopped you, "No," She commanded, "Go to your room. I have a bad feeling about this battle."

You disappeared to your room as told before the foreigners forced their way onto the island. You listen closely as the foreigners force their way into the throne room of the palace where Hancock waited.

"Hello, Hancock!" The intruder greeted.

"Men are not allowed on my island Doflamingo," Hancock spoke aggressively.

"Oh, Hancock let's skip that part and make a deal warlord to warlord," Doflamingo spoke sending chills down your spine. Hancock did not give the man a response that you can sense had upset him. "I know that after the battle of Marine Fort, you aided and harbored a particular pirate a Monkey. D Luffy"

You sensed Hancock's stress grow at the mention of Luffy's name but knowing her she is hiding it well. "I don't know what you are referring to."

The man laughed, "I personally don't care about your reasoning but I think the government might. No, what I care about is the fact that Trafalgar Law was with the straw hat pirate at the time."

Your heart dropped at the mention of Law's name.

"I learned that a crew member of his has taken refuge here."

"Get off my island Doflamingo!" Hancock shouted standing her ground.

"Ah, so she is here." Doflamingo laughed, "I'll make a deal with you. I will keep your secret from the Marines if you give me the girl."

Boa did not respond and instead, you start hearing the start of a fight. You sense 5 other people enter the palace. You begin to hear the starting of a battle as the Amazons fend off the intruders. As you focus on the intruders with your Haki you almost miss your door slamming open revealing Marguerite. "Y/N we need to get you out of here!" She shouted and you nodded.

Unfortunately, her shout drew the attention of one of the intruders you sense the intruder's path changing to your room and you pull Marguerite to the ground before a cannon is shot through the door, flying over your head and destroying the wall to the outside.

You turn around to see a young woman with long black hair and a cannon for an arm. You jumped up and pulled Marguerite out of the new hole in the wall. Instead of falling down to the ground with Marguerite, you cling to the wall. "What are you doing?" She hissed from the ground behind a bush.

"keep running I'll be there in a second." You hissed back and she nodded running off making the bushes shift. The woman who attacked you walked up to the hole watching the Amazon run away. She holds her arm out to aim and you take your chance. You grabbed onto her arm and forced her to feel an intense fear. She screams and holds her head seemingly going through a mental break.

You jumped off the wall and to the ground to catch up with Marguerite. The two of you took off through the forest a more familiar land for you to hide and defend. You met up with a few more Amazons who were ready to help defend you from the intruders.

You all took to the trees shooting down any intruder with Haki-filled arrows. You also got the opportunity to use your new use for your power by coating your arrows with a mist of emotions that will cause your targets to fall to whichever emotion you filled them with. You all held your own quite well not allowing any intruders to make it far into the forest or to leave to inform their leaders of your location.

A loud boom echoed through the forest changing the tides of your fight. Above you, strings began to stretch down surrounding the island. Arrows made of string began to fall from the sky striking down the Amazons that surrounded you. They fell from the trees when they were hit and you rushed to the ground after them.

As you tended to one of the Amazon Marguerite came up behind you aiming her arrow at you. Her scream gave you enough time to dodge her attack rolling to the side. You looked at the haki-filled arrow nailed deep into the ground where you once were.

"Marguerite what's happening?!" You shout at her as she starts to cry while aiming another arrow at you.

"Get out of here!" She shouted as you shuffled to your feet you felt her fear and knew you needed to follow her words. Before you got a chance to run a hand wrapped around your ankle. You looked down to see the Amazon you were just tending to hold you in place.

The feeling of fear and confusion filled the air as all the Amazons started to stand up. They all drew their bows at you. They all shouted at you to run away before firing at you.

You shook off the hand on your ankle before you ran. Arrows flew past you not in the way that has when training but with aggression and thirst for blood.

You sent a mist of red fear in an attempt to steer the amazons away but when they ran through the mist they never stopped their chase but now showed more fear on their faces. You freeze in confusion as you watch the people you considered family for the past 8 months run at you with tears in their eyes.

In a moment of realization, you create a mist of calmness for the Amazons to run through. Their tears dried up and they looked at you in confusion as you stood in front of them no longer running from them.

You were immediately tackled to the ground and the snakes the Amazons held and boes turned into bondage. "Y/N! Why!" Marguerite cried running up behind the other Amazons not running through the mist you used to calm the other Amazons.

"I can't fight you." You sob on the ground, "You all helped me so much and I don't want you to feel guilty that something is forcing you to do this."

Marguerite cried as she was forced to punch you to knock you out.

When you woke up you were being dragged through the door of the palace with blood dripping down your chin. Marguerite was the one leading the way as the Amazons brought their prize to the Doflamingo all with stone-calmed faces except for Marguerite who had tears still falling down her face.

A chilling laugh echoed through the room as Doflamingo sprawled himself on Hancock's throne, her unconscious form lying beside him like a discarded doll. You scowl at the man when you are pushed to his feet. He reached down grabbed you by your neck and pulled you toward his face, "All of this fighting just for you." He spat in your face, "Pathetic."

You gather the blood in your mouth and spit it into his face. a vein throbbed on his forehead but he simply wiped the blood off his face with his hand and licked it off. "Oh, I will enjoy breaking you." He threw you off to the side.

He lifted his hand up and all the amazons fell uncautious being released from his control. The woman who attacked you earlier approached you holding chains which she placed on you removing the snake that was bounding you. As soon as the chains were placed on your hands you knew they were Sea Stone as you felt your energy sapping.

The man approached you grabbing you by the neck again pulling you off the floor. His eyes dart to your hip and you feel uncomfortable for the first time in the revealing outfits of the Amazon. He smiled seeing your tattoo that represented your freedom and place within the heart pirates but now felt like a target. "I see Law has placed his mark on you." he taunted.

He continued to hold you by your neck but lowered you to his ground as he dragged you out of the palace.

---

tears streamed down your face as you recalled the attack on Amazon Lily and your capture to Sanji and Robin, "At that point, I felt like I was just destined to be a tool."

Your sentence hit a cord with Sanji and Robin now understand why they both feel so similar to you.

The two waited patiently for you to continue your story. "He brought me back to Dressrosa and locked me in a cellar deep within the castle. The hardest part was when my old Master came to visit."

---

You sat in the cold cellar chained to the wall by a Sea Stone chain that locked to your neck; a full plate of food that you refused to touch hoping that at the very least you could starve yourself to death. The door creaked open and you looked up to see the figure of your old Master and his friend who had found you in a town and was your past abuser.

Fear grew within you as they approached you knowing you were stuck. You pushed yourself as far as you could into the wall in an attempt to create as much space between you as you could. Your master walked up to you with pretend worry in his eyes as he gently rubbed your cheek which was still swollen.

"What did they do to you." He complained as his eyes and fingers wandered over your figure still wearing the revealing clothing of the Amazons. When his eyes landed on your hip where his mark once sat now replaced with a heart tattoo. "What the hell is this!" He grabbed the skin of your hip causing you to yipe. He growled as he grabbed onto your cheeks, "You have no idea how kind I have been! I didn't destroy your body with a banding as everyone insisted instead I gave you a beautiful tattoo and this is what you do!" He tossed you to the side. You spit the dirt out of your mouth as you sit back up only to be kicked back down.

Your old master spits on you before whispering to his friend and leaving the room. His friend stepped forward punching his fist into his hand seeking his revenge for what Law had done to him. You noticed some features on his face were still not in the right place, his eyebrows were switched, and his thumbs were backward he looked like a Picasso piece. You couldn't help but snicker at the sight.

Smack…

You were kicked back into the wall as a punishment for your snicker.

---

Your voice cracked as you told your story and Robin pulled your head gently onto her shoulder for comfort. You sniffed away your tears, "Doflamingo would then come in and nurse me to health, he would tell me a story about how he could save me from my abusive master all I had to do was become a part of his family. At the same time, he was doing something to my memories." You instinctively rubbed the back of your neck where the strings were pulled out of your brain.

"After a week I agreed and I was made into the perfect servant for him." You hold your head blocking the expressions of the two pirates as you tear up. "One day he told me I was going on an important mission, to spy on Law."

You pull out the Vivre card that you kept in your pocket with the transponder snail you were too afraid to toss "He gave me a snail and told me he made me a Vivre card so he can come in a rescue me after my mission. and then… he gave me… his vivre card." You froze staring at the card. You thought it was a piece of your own card to give to Ceaser but it wasn't it was his card.

Sanji reached out for the piece of paper. "So this card is pointing to Doflamingo." He investigated it laying it flat on his palm and watching it point behind them.

Robin's concern deepened. "That might be helpful," she said, her voice laced with urgency. "Let's go tell the rest."

As you walk down the stairs with Robin, Law jumps up with concern upon seeing your face and runs up to you. You wipe your tears and grab his hand, "Law" your voice cracked, "I have some important information."

You pull out the snail and the Vivre card which sends Usopp and Nami into a panic as you tell Law that the snail is how you have been communicating with Flamingo and how he had made a Vivre card for you. You then tell him how this Vivre card isn't a piece of yours like you thought. It was his.

Law takes the card and looks at it carefully as it points in the direction of punk Hazard the island they just left. Law looks up to the skies and sighs with relief, "The skies are clear so he can't follow us. We should be careful from now on keeping y/n away from anything we don't him to find."

Your face turns to guilt which Luffy caught onto. "Don't worry, Y/N," His voice cutting through the tension, "by the end of tomorrow, he'll have no control over you." His words offered a sliver of hope, a promise that chased away some of the shadows clinging to your heart.

Sanji then announced himself in front of the kitchen door where he disappeared to, "Dinner is up!" The crew jumped up in excitement running to the kitchen. After the crew dispersed, you lingered behind with Law, your heart pounding in your chest.

He pulled you into a tight embrace, his warmth offering a comforting haven. Tears streamed down your face as you confessed, "I'm so sorry." Your voice trembled, filled with guilt and regret. "I should have told you sooner."

Law held you close, his touch calming the storm within you. You pulled back, your eyes searching his. "I tried to kill myself last night," you confessed, the words tumbling out in a rush. "I didn't want him to find us. I didn't want to ruin your plans any more than I already have…" Your voice broke, the pain threatening to consume you.

"I… I didn't want to be the reason you die," you choked out, burying your face in his chest. "The whole reason Doflamingo captured me, manipulated me, was to get to you. And I… I don't want that to happen. I… I love you."

Silence descended, thick and heavy. Then, Law gently lifted your chin, his gaze meeting yours. His eyes, usually stoic and unreadable, held a depth of emotion you had never seen before.

Law wiped away your tears and placed his forehead onto yours, "I know," he said simply.

---

A/N: Wanna read more of my work check out my MasterList

#one piece #one piece x reader #trafalgar d law x reader #trafalgar d water law #trafalgar law #fem!reader #writing #one piece oc #trafalgar one piece #one peice #trafalgar op #one piece nico robin #straw hat pirates #strawhats #one piece sanji

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starogeorgina · 1 year

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The eye of the dragon

Warnings: Mentions of child death

Pairings: Jacaerys Velaryon x Targ oc

1.04

“Princess, the queen,” Ser Criston says softly before opening the door and letting her into your bedchamber.

The queen enters the room with her head held high and gives the knight an appreciative look. “Thank you, Ser Criston, I wish to have a moment alone to speak to my daughter.”

He nods and briefly makes eye contact with you before leaving the room. Your mother's eyes are full of sorrow as she approaches you; she cups your face. “My gentle girl, how could you get yourself into such a mess?”

A mess? She saw your daughter, who died during childbirth, as nothing more than a mess that needed to be cleaned up and a secret that needed to be kept.

“Her name was Aelia.”

She sighs, “Aelia?”

Noticing the look of disinterest on her face, you shove her away from you, “My daughter! My dead daughter!”

She steps back, placing her hand on the star necklace hanging around her neck, trying to find comfort in her faith. “What happened was a tragedy.”

“A tragedy? How would you even know? You weren’t here! I needed you, and you weren’t here.” Your eyes sting with a fresh wave of tears. “I had no one aside from a guard and two midwives when my daughter took her last breaths. Then they took her away, and I was left with nothing! You didn’t even let me give her a proper Targaryen funeral.”

She claps her hands together, clearing her throat. “I did what I thought was best given the circumstances.”

“The best? You kept me locked up like a prisoner! And even now I’m not allowed to go anywhere alone.” Your chest begins to heave up and down rapidly as you try to regain your composure; your throat is now becoming sore from yelling. “You want me to suffer for bringing shame on our house; otherwise, you would have still wed me to Aemond.”

“Let’s say you married Aemond; what would have happened when the child was born with thick, dark hair?”

You knew she was right but refused to accept it. “How is it that I’m your only child who looks like you, yet we are nothing alike?” You say, “you told Ser Criston Jace forced himself on me,” you pull a face of disgust. “I may have lost my virginity before marriage, but at least I’m not cold and cruel. A vicious lie like that could get him executed.”

Your father may have loved Rhaenyra and her children beyond all else, but even he wouldn’t be able to deny punishment for such a vile crime against one of his own daughters. What was worse is that your mother knew this and still said it.

She dismisses what you say, changing the subject quickly. “Once it’s decided who the heir to Driftmark is, I will announce that the wedding between yourself and Aemond will be taking place in two weeks.”

“I want to marry Jacaerys.”

“That boy?” She lets out a snide laugh. “I’m going to tell you exactly what I told your father when he proposed such an absurd idea. Only when I’m cold on the ground may my children marry bastards.”

You hold her gaze, feeling completely detached from her. This woman wasn’t your mother; she was a monster. “Do you love me? or any of your children?”

Your question cuts her deep as she looks at you, her face full of hurt. “Everything I do is for you and your siblings; one day you will understand that. And I pray that, in time, you will be able to move on and heal from this devastating mistake.”

She attempts to reach for you, but you step back and ask, “Would you still love us even if we were bastards?”

She says nothing. Maybe she did love you to the best of her ability, but it wasn’t enough. The only child she showed any genuine affection for was Aemond; the rest of you were inconveniences. a burden she had to bear.

“The name Aelia Velaryon will stay with me until the day I die. I hope you never forget it either.”

—

Happily, you play with Jaehaerys and Jaehaera in their nursery. You often found comfort in seeing them; they were so kind-hearted and pure, just like their mother.

You hear hushed murmurs from outside the room, then the door opens. You’re surprised to see a knight of the Kingsguard called Erryk Cargyll enter the room; he looks uncomfortable as he stands before you. “Forgive me for intruding, princess, but I could no longer hold my tongue. I need to confess.”

You stand up, holding the twins protectively. “What is troubling you?”

“It’s about price, Jacaerys Velaryon…”

A sour taste forms in your mouth at the mention of his name. You had briefly seen Jacaerys earlier that day; he greeted you with a nod and then continued walking beside his younger brothers.

You motion for him to sit in one of the chairs, but he reminds you that he is standing. You however sit down, the weight of Jaehaerys and Jaehaera causing your arms to ache. You clear your throat, “Please go on.”

“Me and my brother have heard rumors of your relationship with the price, but never before have we paid any mind to the matter. But I thought you’d like to know then that when you were sick Prince Jacaerys attempted to see you on several occasions.”

“Jace tried to see me?”

He nods. “The first time he got as far as to see the king, but the queen said you were too sick to see anyone and had him sent away. After that, he would fly on Vermax; I suspect he was looking for you and Kain. If he got too close to the keep, Aemond would fly over him on Vhagar.”

Jacaerys was a skilled dragonrider, but no other dragon was a match for Vhagar. He never would have stood a chance if your brother decided to attack.

You blink away the tears of anger that threaten to spill. “What is it you need to confess?”

“Ravens arrived everyday for you. Your mother tasked myself and your brother with the job of destroying them before they ever reached you.”

“What about the ravens I sent?”

“Your letters to the prince never left King's Landing.”

Your sister's voice echoed inside your head. Although they have wings, they cannot fly. You push back the lump in your throat and say, “Thank you for telling me, Ser Erryk. I think it’s best we keep this conversation between us; I don’t want you getting into trouble for telling me.”

“Princess,” he nods his head and goes to leave, but you stop him.

“Wait, you said ravens arrived everyday for me. When did the last one come?”

“Two days ago.”

—

You sit beside your father as he struggles to sleep because of the pain he’s in. Tensions were high since the next day it would be decided if Lucerys should be Corlys' heir or if it would pass to Ser Vaemond. You would rather spend the night reading to your father instead of dealing with politics or your mother's most recent betrayal.

He gives you a weak smile and says, “Dayanara, my girl.”

“Father,” you squeeze his hand. In his fragile state, he often told you stories of his first wife and their joys of looking after Rhaenyra. The love he had for his first family was all you ever wanted. You could live with not being his favorite child, but the idea of being with someone who didn’t love you was too much. “If you had to choose between doing your duty or being with Aemma, what would you have picked?”

“Aemma,” he says, letting out a few breathy gasps. “She was strong, beautiful, kind, and brave. All the qualities she passed on to our daughter.”

You watch as your father's eyes flutter shut and his breathing normalizes. “I wish I was brave like Rhaenyra. She’s going to stand tomorrow in front of everyone and fight for her family. I wish I could do that. I wish I could declare my love for Jacaerys. We could spend our days riding on a dragon's back and raising a family together. But the gods have decided against us being together.”

You pick up the book you left the night before and begin to read quietly to him. The only other sounds that could be heard were the heavy rain outside and the sound of a dragon roaring in the distance.

#house of the dragon #Jacaerys Velaryon x you #Jacaerys Velaryon #house of the dragon fanfic #house of the dragon fanfiction #jacaerys velaryon fanfiction #jacaerys velaryon/you #Jacaerys Velaryon fanfic #eye of the dragon #Jacaerys Velaryon/oc #Jacaerys Velaryon x fem oc #Jacaerys Velaryon x oc #jace velaryon fanfic #Jace Velaryon x oc #jace velaryon fanfiction

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abbyromanoff · 1 year

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I Still Love You (chapter 4)

Pairings: Natasha Romanoff x reader, Wanda Maximoff x reader

Word count: 2186

Series here:

Summary: When Wanda, the love of your life, blipped away, you found comfort in your friend. She reminded you of your past lover and you fell for one another. What happens when Wanda returns?

Warnings: angst, fluff, proposals, small arguing, guilt, mentions of death

No one is permitted to steal, copy, or reblog my work as their own!!

For the entire week, you were pacing around trying to avoid both Nat and Wanda. You couldn’t possibly face them without wanting to just run up and kiss the two women. And for the entire week, you’ve been sheltered in your dark, cold room. You felt sick, you were puking all the time. You didn’t know if it was nerves or something else. In the mornings, you’d wait for everyone to leave the room so you could finally eat breakfast. You changed your workout times so you’d no longer run into Nat while doing so. Even at dinner, you’d make food and then dip before anyone could notice you were even there. Nat was mad at you, of course she was. But she missed you so much, it hurt her to be without you. She wanted to talk to you, even for a second. She just wanted to see you again.

Wanda missed you just as much, finally being able to kiss you again felt like heaven, until you ruined it. She couldn’t blame you though, you were just being faithful, you always have been. When the two of you were together, she never even had to worry about someone going near you because she knew you’d never cheat or hurt her. She wanted to yell at herself for kissing you, she knew she had no right. She was getting in between you and your partner, she was a homewrecker. No matter how much she loved you, she refused to get between you and Nat, even if it broke her.

Nat heard a small knock on the door of her bedroom and muttered out a small ‘come in’ while continuing her packing. When she looked to see who was there, she was slightly annoyed to see Wanda there.

“Hello Wanda.” She said coldly to the woman, starting to become more aggressive with the folding of her clothes.

“Hey Nat, what are you doing?” Wanda asked in that small voice of hers, the one you found adorable.

“Packing. I’m going to see someone soon, some of my family that I lost in the blip.” The younger girl never knew Nat even had a family, she thought she lost all of them. Nat never told her about Yelena and she certainly never planned to. That was a secret kept for you and Clint only.

“Then, I have to go to the Barton’s and explain that I’m the reason their father and husband is dead.”

“You’re not the reason Clint’s dead.” “Don’t say his name.” Nat yelled out sternly. Wanda flinched a bit at her tone but regained herself, she didn’t want to seem like a scared kid around her.

“Well, I’m sure you’re not the reason he’s dead.” She scoffed in return and walked up to her, getting all up in her face as Wanda coward down.

“And how would you know? Did Y/N tell you? Or do you guys just talk about how much you love each other?” Nat’s nose flared and her fists were clenched together, a clear sign that she was pissed.

“N-no, we haven’t even talked to each other since-” The redhead cut her off before she could finish speaking.

“Since what? Since you kissed them? Even when knowing they’re with me?” Nat didn’t even know if that was true anymore, were you two still together? Did you even love her?

“I didn’t mean to, it just happened!”

“What so your lips just happened to go onto theirs? Tell me Wanda, did they kiss you back? Or did they push you away?” Even if you already told her the answer, she didn’t know if she could believe it or not. She trusted you, she always would, but she just wanted to know if you lied or not. She needed to know if she could trust you from now on, if there even would be a future with you two.

“For a moment, I thought she would kiss back, I thought I felt it, but she didn’t. She pushed me off, but I didn’t move. And when I finally got off of her, she yelled at me, I couldn’t blame her for that.” Nat nodded but didn’t look at her. She was glad you didn’t lie to her, but she was also mad that she even kissed you.

“So, you kissed them without their consent?” She knew the answer, yet she still asked. It was hard not to punch her in the face at the exact moment, but Nat resisted. Wanda deserved it, but she also felt like she did too. She felt so guilty making you pick between the two people you love, but it had to be done. She needed to be able to move on, with or without you.

“Yes, I did. But I feel terrible about it.” “Good, I’m glad you do.” Wanda knew Nat would be harsh but she never expected this. She was acting like she was the one who killed Clint, like she was the bad guy here.

“Now, if you’ll move, I have places to be.” Nat said as she shoved the other woman out of the way and pushed her way through the door.

“What about Y/N? Are you just not going to tell them?” Nat sighed and turned around, barely even making eye contact with her before speaking.

“I left a note, that’s good enough.” And with that, she left. She drove off to go see her sister, it was almost impossible to hide her nerves. She hadn’t seen Yelena in over five years, but now she finally would. She was also terrified to see the Barton’s. How could she look at Laura in the eyes and say her husband is dead because she didn’t fight hard enough? How could she stare her nieces and nephews in the eyes and tell them that their daddy wasn’t coming home? She knew what it was like to grow up without a parent, and the kids didn’t deserve that pain.

Her car came to a stop in front of Yelena’s apartment, she’s been texting her everyday since she lost her and when she finally received a text back, she cried. The two agreed to meet up and discuss everything as well as finally connecting once again.

“Hey.” Came from the blonde, it was overwhelming seeing each other again but she kept her cool. Nat rushed in and squeezed her so tightly, Yelena was surprised she didn’t die without how hard of a grip she had on her.

The two women bonded over some vodka and mac and cheese, talking about anything they could think of.

“Okay, something is clearly wrong. What is it?” Nat sighed but knew she couldn’t let it go, her sister would just keep persisting if she didn’t tell her.

“Well, I’m engaged-” “You’re what?! And you didn’t think to tell me until now?!” Yelena’s proud face soon went away with Nat’s clear saddened expression.

“Oh, is that not a good thing?”

“No, it is a good thing, I think. It’s just, they were dating someone before the blip, Wanda was her name. And then, she was gone for five years and I comforted them throughout that whole time. I knew they still loved her, but I just wanted to be with them. I thought that maybe, they’d fall in love with me instead and would forget about her, but that didn’t happen. And now, she’s back. And it’s clear that Y/N still loves her, Wanda even kissed them.” Yelena’s shocked face could’ve made Nat laugh, but she couldn’t.

“Did-did they kiss her back?” Nat shook her head and the woman sighed, grateful that Nat’s partner didn’t cheat.

“Well, they seem like a douchebag, why are you even still with them?”

“Because they’re not a douchebag, I love them. I love them more than anything, I’d kill for them.” The blonde blew out a breath and clasped her hands together, resting her head on them.

“Okay, let me get this straight, you love this person and they love you. They’re also in love with someone else after five years but stayed loyal to you? You also don’t want to let them go because you love them?” Nat looked down and nodded, she looked like a kid receiving a punishment.

“Well, I say you fight for them. Are you really going to let that chick take away your fiance? The person you love without even putting up a fight?” Nat thought for a moment, did you really deserve that? Did you deserve her fighting over you when you love another? Of course you did. She’d give up everything she ever loved for you, she had to get you back.

“You’re right. After I go to the Barton’s, I’ll talk to Y/N and I’ll get them back.” Yelena cheered lightly and the two fell back into their own small talk.

Before Nat left, she thanked her sister and messaged you, saying that she needs to talk to you when she returns. You were worried, it wasn’t everyday that Nat texted you something like that. You were in the middle of planning a nice dinner date for the two of you, something you wanted to surprise her with. Wanda basically left your mind as it was too hard to even think about her, you felt wrong and guilty. It’s not like you fell out of love with her, but you certainly were trying to.

Nat returned a day later and the moment she walked through the door, you ran up to greet her, almost tackling her with your tight gripped hug. Nat laughed lightly and put you down, it seemed like she was planning to lean in and give you a kiss but decided against it. You looked back into her eyes as you moved your vision from her lips, giving a small smile before leading her to her room. She was directed to unpack quickly and you rushed her upstairs.

“Where are we going?” She asked as you speed walked her through the halls into the elevator.

“The roof, I have something planned for you.”

“You planning on finally killing me?” You chuckled at her words and finally reached the roof. She looked around and saw fairy lights hanging up with a two seated table under it. There was food covered by those fancy looking bowls, she wondered where you got them. It was close to sunset and you pulled out the two chairs, guiding her to sit in one while you took the other one.

“What is all this?” Nat was still mesmerized by all of it, this is exactly the dream date idea she told you about before.

“I wanted to do something special for you, I hope you like it.” You said nervously, your leg bouncing up and down under the table.

“It’s perfect, thank you.” She took your hands and kissed the backs of them, making you blush.

“But, why did you do all this for me?” It was a question that she was trying to hold in, she hoped you didn’t do this for Wanda as well.

“Well, you deserve it. Think of this as a thank you, in a way, for everything you’ve done for me.” She let out a small ‘oh’ and removed her hands from your own. It wasn’t meant in the way she thought, it was just a pity date. Noticing her expression, you quickly explained yourself further.

“But, I also wanted to have this dinner with you so I could talk to you, or apologize to you. I’m sorry for all the pain I’ve caused you, I never meant to hurt you, but that doesn’t excuse the fact that I did. When you first asked me out, I thought it wouldn’t last or you’d just help me get over Wanda, but I ended up falling in love with you. And, as much as I love Wanda, she could never come close to you. I want you, I need you in my life and as my wife. So, Natasha Romanoff, will you be my wife?” A ring came from under your seat where you hid it. Nat was shocked, she couldn’t move.

“But we’re already engaged? I proposed to you.” Nat said like it was obvious, well, it was. You chuckled lightly and grabbed her cold hand, kissing it like she did before.

“And now I’m proposing to you. You told me to make a choice, and I have, I choose you. I was able to live five years without Wanda, but I can’t live without you.” Tears escaped the woman before she nodded, repeatedly shouting out yes. You gave a teeth showing smile and placed the ring upon her finger, standing up only to be pushed back down with a forceful hold. She gripped onto you for dear life and cried into your shoulder. She couldn’t believe it, you chose her. You wanted her. You love her. And she loved you. She just wanted to marry you already, start a family with you, anything. She wanted it all, and she wanted it now.

Tag list: @daddynattt @wifeofnatasharomanoff @chaisreading @username23345 @sayah13 @justyourwritter69 @samallen20062837392

#natasha x reader #natasha x fem!reader #natasha romanoff smut #natasha smut #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff fluff #natasha fluff #natahsa romanoff #wanda x reader #natasha angst #wanda maximoff x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #wanda maximoff #wandanat x reader

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spontaniousmusicalnumbers · 1 day

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Downton Ficlet #3

“You must be careful not to break Sybil’s heart. I think she has a crush on you,” Mary said fixing Matthew with a piercing stare as they sat in the dining room eating the sandwiches Mrs. Patmore had prepared.

“Well, that’s something no one would accuse you of,” he said putting down his glass.

“Oh, I don’t know….” He noticed her hand go directly to the necklace she was wearing. She always did that when she was anxious or uncomfortable. He wondered what she could be anxious about now.

“I assume you speak in the spirit of mockery.”

“You should have more faith!” She said, sounding a little surprised. Matthew wasn’t sure what type of game she could be playing, but he wasn’t going to let her get away with it.

He leaned in closer to her. “Shall I remind you of some of the choicest remarks you made about me when I first came here?” She glanced down, looking almost ashamed. He repositioned so that he could regain eye contact with her, “because they live in my memory as fresh as the day they were spoken.”

“Oh, Matthew,” she smiled and shook her head, ever so slightly, still fiddling with her necklace, “what am I always telling you? You must pay no attention to the things I say.”

They stared at each other for the briefest moment, before coming together in a passionate kiss. Matthew felt Mary’s hand go almost immediately to his neck; soon her fingers were inching their way into his hair, her thumb gently caressing his cheek. His hands automatically went to her, one on her waist and the other to her cheek, his fingers brushing against her hair. She shifted in her chair, moving closer to him. He tightened his grip on her waist and felt her lean into him, encouraging him. Her other hand gripped the lapel of his jacket. His mind raced with need for her, all other thoughts completely abandoning him. He could feel his fingers tingling with excitement where they touched her bare skin. It was so soft and smooth; he’d never felt anything like it before. The only other time they had touched, she’d been wearing her evening gloves. He had felt exhilarated then, but it was nothing compared to this.

He had lost all sense of time. Had they been kissing for seconds or for an eternity? All he knew was that this was right. He needed to know that he could kiss her like this any time he wanted. He wasn’t aware of deciding to say anything when he heard the words “marry me” escape him. It wasn’t a question; he’d said it as a fact. He wanted her, no, needed her, to marry him. She felt him laugh slightly against him. He pulled away and fixed her with the most poignant look he could muster. “I’m serious, Mary. Marry me.”

“Are you sure, Matthew?” she asked. She looked at him significantly. What was behind that look, he wondered. It wasn’t shock, exactly. It almost looked sad.

“Yes, I’m very sure,” he said. He leaned in again to kiss her, willing her to be convinced.

“I…” she trailed off as he kissed her neck. “I’ll have to think about it.” Her words brought reality crashing down around him. He pulled away again and looked at her, a hurt expression on his face. “It’s not that I don’t care for you!” she said, trying to reassure him. “It’s just…you know how much marriage will affect me. I just need to make sure that I make the right choice, for the right reasons.”

“I don’t think I can begrudge you wanting to be sure you choose me for the right reasons,” he said smiling. “Do you suppose I could kiss you again?”

“Yes, but then I think we should let the maids in here to tidy.” He kissed her again and then reluctantly let her guide him back to the front door.

* * *

“Did Sybil get settled alright?” Isobel asked him, coming out of the drawing room at the sound of the door opening.

“Sybil?” He frowned, placing his hat and gloves on the hall table. “What about Sybil?”

“Matthew!” Isobel chided him. “She was injured, and you took her home. Did she get settled alright?”

“Oh, yes,” he said, suddenly remembering. “Yes, Robert was furious, of course.”

“I’m not surprised,” she looked at him frowning. “Are you alright? You look off. Have you had anything to eat tonight?”

The question took him by surprise and made him smile involuntarily as he remembered his quiet meal. “Yes, Mary had them make some sandwiches.”

“That was very good of her.” Isobel seemed contented with his answer. “Now, it’s late and we’ve had a long night. We should both turn in.” She turned and began to climb the stairs.

“I’ll be up in a minute,” Matthew said. “I’m actually rather keyed up after…well, after everything. I might read a bit.”

He wandered to the drawing room and picked up his book. He opened it, but couldn’t focus on the pages, his mind wandering back to the Abbey. He wondered if Mary was still awake as well. He had taken his time walking home. He couldn’t remember a thing about the walk. Normally he’d have enjoyed the sounds of the night: crickets, owls, even the swooping of a bat. Tonight however, he could focus on nothing but the memory of holding Mary in his arms. He’d dreamt about it long enough; he’d loved her almost from the moment they’d met. He wet his lips, remembering the feeling of hers against them. He had never felt this way before. He’d kissed girls before, of course, but it was never like this. He could not imagine ever spending a day without Mary Crawley from now on.

* * *

Mary opened the door to her bedroom and saw her maid, Anna, laying out her night gown. “Did Mr. Crawley go home, then?” She asked. Mary tilted her head and smiled affectionately.

“Yes.” She came to stand in the middle of the room as Anna began undoing the buttons of her dress. “You know he did. I’m sorry we kept you all up so late. But I couldn’t let him starve. He completely missed his dinner, thanks to Lady Sybil.”

“That’s alright, milady,” Anna said. “Mr. Carson wasn’t too happy about the lateness of the hour, but he’d do anything for you, so he didn’t grumble too much.”

“I’m glad he wasn’t around when Mr. Crawley left,” Mary said with a slight blush.

“Oh? Why’s that, milady?” Anna asked. Mary sat at her vanity and started pulling off her jewelry as Anna began helping her remove her shoes.

“Mr. Crawley was quite flustered.” Mary smiled, recalling Matthew’s reluctance to leave. “If Mr. Carson didn’t like the time, he definitely would not have approved of that at all.” She gave Anna a significant look. There were not many people that Mary felt she could be completely open with, but Anna was high on the list.

“Are sandwiches so improper?” Anna asked as she began removing pins from Mary’s hair. “I can’t imagine how they could fluster Mr. Crawley so.”

“I don’t think it was the sandwiches that caused it.” Mary blushed again. Anna met Mary’s eyes in the mirror. It might be impertinent to ask, but she could tell that Mary was bursting to tell her more.

“And what did, milady?”

“He proposed to me.” A wide smile broke across Mary’s face. “We were talking and then he kissed me and proposed!”

“Will you accept him?” Anna smiled back. “Do you love him, then?”

“I think I do,” Mary said, turning to look at Anna directly. “I really think I do. I don’t even know when it happened. Probably much longer ago than I realized.”

“That’s wonderful, milady!” Anna was genuinely happy. “You deserve real love. I always hated the way they pushed you at Mr. Patrick. I’m sorry if it’s impertinent to say so.”

“Oh Anna,” Mary laughed, “I don’t care a fig about all that. You’re a better friend to me than anyone. I think you can say something like that without worrying.” She frowned suddenly. “The only problem is….” She trailed off, biting her lip.

“There’s a problem?” Anna asked, suddenly concerned.

“I have to tell him.” Mary looked into to Anna’s eyes. “I can’t keep it from him. Mama says I should, but I can’t. Matthew is so good. He would be crushed if I hid it from him. It wouldn’t be honest.”

“Can I say something, openly?” Anna looked thoughtful. Mary didn’t say anything but nodded. “Mr. Crawley is a good man, and he wouldn’t propose if he didn’t truly love you. If you’re honest with him, I don’t think it will change anything. But secrets never keep. I wouldn’t try to hide it from him.”

“I’m sure he’ll despise me….” Mary looked down, her lip trembling. “How can I expect to be worthy of him when I’m damaged goods?”

“I don’t think you are, milady,” Anna said kindly. “Everyone makes mistakes, and I think Mr. Crawley will be very reasonable if you tell him.”

“There are rumors already, Mama told me a while ago.”

“All the more reason to tell him,” Anna said as a matter of fact. “It won’t help for him to hear it from someone else.”

“You’re right, I suppose.” Mary sighed as Anna finished tying her hair back. “I’ll have to tell him. The hard part will be getting the courage to do it. I wish I had Sybil’s strength.”

She bid Anna good night and climbed into bed. There was a book on her bedside table. She opened it and turned to a page with a small note scribbled on the margin in pencil. She smiled at the words and ran her finger over them, wondering if their author could feel it. She wondered if he was still up as well. If he felt anything like her, he was thinking far too much to go to sleep. She imagined how lovely it would be to have him here, just to talk to. Yes, she was sure she loved him. The big question was, did he love her. Not some image of her he had in his mind, but the real her. And would that love be enough to withstand the truth of her wretchedness? She didn’t know how she would gather the strength to tell him, but she would have to. The only other question now was when?

#downton abbey #mary crawley #matthew crawley #downton fanfic #matthew x mary #mary x matthew

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