Remus: Oh, what's this? A comedically large lollipop-
Janus: A comically large lollipop you use to chop people's heads off?
Remus, in a high-pitched voice: It's mistew Guillotine, owo-
Janus, laughing and mortified: Dear Lord-
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Things Sanders Sides Characters Absolutely Have Said
Remus, with a headache: Advil me up, daddy.
Logan: I will short out the language centre of your brain if you say anything like that ever again.
-
Logan: Janus, this morning, I called you abhorrent and reprehensible, and I’d like to withdraw that statement-
Janus: Aww, thanks-
Logan: But I can't. Those are the 2 words that best describe you.
-
Roman: Enough! How dare you mock me in such a manner!?
Janus: Well. How would you like me to mock you? I take requests.
-
Logan: How long do you think it'll take?
Virgil: I don’t know, three or four.
Logan: Three or four what? Days? Weeks? Months?
Virgil: Yeah, maybe five.
Logan: Five what?!
-
Virgil: So are you gonna explain how the hell you crashed my car?
Logan: Well we were driving and there was a deer in the road, so I said "Patton, deer!"
Virgil: ...And what did Patton do?
Logan: ...He said "Yes, Honey?"
-
Roman: There's no way he cares about any of us.
Thomas: Remus would throw himself in front of a moving car for us!
Roman: Remus would throw himself in front of a moving car for fun.
-
Patton: Where the devil is Janus?
Virgil: Well, it is raining outside... Maybe he melted?
Roman: Shall I look outside for a pointy hat?
-
Patton: That's it, you're grounded! Roman, no adventures for you! Logan, no debating for you! Janus, no stealing for you! And Virgil... oh my god, is there anything that you love?
Virgil: Revenge.
Patton: No vengeance for you.
Virgil: I was going to say "I'll get you for this," but I guess that's off the table.
-
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Roman: I'm into polyarmory
Logan: You mean polyamory, right?
Roman, holding multiple swords: what?
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Roman, while winking: are you a star? Cause you're shining bright
Virgil: I thought you were original.
Roman: like you could do better.
Virgil: you are the most elegant and the brightest star I've ever seen. Even when you blow up, you're light will be seen for years to come. You shine brighter than my love for you. However, I will be the only one to see your glory. For your eyes are the most beautiful shade of brown. Your smile puts others to shame. Your hair looks perfect at all times. You-
Roman, now blushing: okay! You can stop.
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Janus: What are you writing?
Remus: The lights have requested a list of the weapons I have in my arsenal.
Janus: *reading over Remus’ shoulder* This just says ‘fuck around and find out’ in calligraphy.
Remus: Roman isn’t the only one who can spew poetry, Jan.
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Patton: I love meeting people like you!
Virgil: Are you a masochist?
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Janus: "Did it hurt when you clawed your way up from hell?"
Remus: "Don't you mean 'when I fell from heaven'?"
Janus, shaking his head: "We both know you're not from there"
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I saw someone else do this and thought a few of my friend group's quotes would fit the sides—
Virgil: *Listening to MCR out loud*
Logan: Oh, is this Khaleed?
Roman: Someone just said "down here in texas there's only deers and queers, and you sure ain't a deer"
Roman: And I mean, he's right—
Janus: Remus, did you set the fire alarm off again?
Virgil: REMUS WHY DID YOU WALK INTO THE GIRL'S DRESSING ROOM???
Remus: I'M GONNA EAT SOME FUCKING— STARFRUIT
Roman: Man, just shut up! You useless, spineless, populist pig!
Virgil: Jesus, just call them an asshole.
Logan: I ate steak for an hour and come back to Roman being dead, Patton being Patton, and Remus about to beat up a child.
Virgil: I'm trying to stare down someone, but they're not taking the hint.
Remus: I'm trying to stare down the stare down.
Patton: I'm not trying to stare down the stare down of the stare down.
Janus: I'm staring down the stare down-er because they stared me down while starring their own message.
Virgil: I'm going to stare down the stare down-er-er as they have stared me down by taking a picture of them staring me down as I starred my own message.
Janus: I'll stare down the stare down between you and me staring down the screenshot of me staring down your self-starred message staring down the stare down of the stare down of the stare down.
Roman: I'm having a stroke.
Patton: Knock knock!
Remus: I CAN'T GO BACK TO JAIL!!
Patton about Virgil: He protecc, he attacc, but most importantly, he teach the chicks to quack.
Virgil: What does that mean?!!
Remus: I'll be bored in math class and pull up my calculator like "and they were roommates!"
Logan: How did you get Ao3 on your calculator?
Logan: Can you teach me?
Remus: I'm sorry for stealing your hair UwU, have a rat
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Logan: Remus, not only is what you are doing destructive and quite frankly disgusting, it is also extremely harmful to you and the others around you.
Remus: Okay, but consider this; …Nuh uh.
Logan:
Remus:
Logan: Why do I even try?
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Janus: Takes off gloves. "Don't make me do it."
Roman: "You wouldn't dare!"
Janus: Plays with Roman's hair.
Roman: "You fiend!🥰"
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(at a pet shelter)
virgil: you are too cute for your own good, you know that, right?
roman: thank you <3
virgil: i could not have been more clearly talking to the dog
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Roman: BECAUSE YOU MANIPULATE PEOPLE!!
Janus: *offended gasp* what! *dramatic scoff* wh-! How dare you! *placing his hand to his chest* I would NEVER manipulate people! Patton, darling, do I manipulate people?
Patton: No I don't think you manipulate people-
Janus : see?
Roman: THATS JUST PROOF
Janus: *sighing* See, Roman just thinks I'm evil
Patton: I don't think Roman thinks you're evil-
Roman, nodding: I *do* think you're evil!
( @spacedouterri)
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Roman: you crashed my car..AGAIN?
Remus: sorry man
Virgil, from the other room: Once is a coincidence, twice is a pattern
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Virgil: I’m going to torture you now.
Remus: Kinky!
Virgil: Ahem, you are the brightest star in the sky.
Remus: What?
Virgil: I think you’re beautiful and lovely.
Remus: *backing away* W-wait, no—
Virgil: Your feelings are valid and you deserve to be loved.
Remus: I NEED A SAFE WORD
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