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aro-throughyourchest · 11 months

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I would very much like to hear your trans Wilbur headcanons!

OHHHHHHH boy I’m not on my computer so this might not be as fast as I want it to be but sit down so you can strap in I’m just getting started

(For context even pre-transition we’re gonna use she/he/it pronouns and both identifiers.)

Uhhh trans-typical trigger warnings. We’re not just getting into the “cosmetic” shit of being trans.

So C!Wilbur for years before his death: egg. I made an edit about it that which is in my bigender wilbur tag but anyway yeah. Girlie was deeep in the closet. She was envious of all the people who got to live the life they wanted and feel bad about it or completely oblivious to it. (c!Eret came out to it and bro didn’t even fucking realize just died a little on the inside and thought it was transphobic.)

She’s so attached to a nonexistent “manhood” that she’s actively pushing herself further in the closet, because men are big and strong and tough and she’s leading a country, so if there’s any doubts about being a man there’s definitely no time for that! (Which there aren’t, so she’s good.) It’s never liked armor and always brushed the idea off, and if it visualizes itself in a dress every once in a while and would love to model one, or pretends his coat was just was a little bit longer, then no one needs to know. And he doesn’t need to understand.

Pogtopia just turns it up to eleven. Its body is wrong and that’s bad, and she keeps visualizing herself like a man, like Schlatt, and crying. But also a lot of it is also the normal crying? And this kind of crying is different from the crying she usually does, the crying that Tommy doesn’t know how to help and the crying that Techno suspiciously says nothing on. There are no mirrors in Pogtopia. For good reason. There are mirrors in Schlatt’s office.

Something is wrong he can tell, something is wrong. And she doesn’t know what it is, and it scares the living fuck out of her.

Fast forward a few years into limbo, Wilbur is fiddling with her shirt and suddenly a thought: hey, what if I had tits. Like actual ones? The thought just takes him so far off guard, it stops fiddling with its shirt entirely, dropping it in the embarrassment. What the fuck?

The thoughts continue like this and with no one to talk to, Wilbur can literally do nothing but self-reflect, and oh my God does he want to wear dresses? Does she want long hair? It’s stuck in the body and with limbo allowing no recluse, he mourns.

It suffers like this for a while, eventually concluding, “I am what I am,” but it’s still not an answer. It’s just a dismissal.

Wilbur doesn’t bring it up when Tommy follows him into to limbo, too busy occupied with having someone for the first time. And if she lets a few things slip that Tommy definitely doesn’t catch uhhhh who knows.

Revival drags him back to life. And suddenly, his body has weight again, he can feel the warmth on his skin, and the air in between his lungs, and it’s everything he ever wanted. Then crash.

All the pieces he tried to forget over limbo just come hurtling back like a bullet train. Too loose shirt, hair that doesn’t feel right, too masculine, not what he wants- What he wants?

This is all too much, he can’t figure this shit out on his own.

Despite himself (herself?), she goes to find Eret. Niki might kill her, and going to his son about this, it just simply couldn’t take. It remembers sixteen years ago, when they came out to Wilbur. Or was it a year? Fuck.

Either way.. Breathe tepid and heart racing, he knocks on the door to Eret’s museum. She opens, and God, this just isn’t worth it. It turns to run away and feels a hand on its shoulder. Something cold runs up the spine of his back, and she immediately smacks the hand away, fully ready to blow her top. Then it falters. He’s ready to walk off, call this a bust and just go home, but then Eret speaks: “Wilbur?”

God.

“…Can we talk about something?”

Surprisingly, the first thing on Eret’s mind wasn’t Wilbur’s coming out. (Crazy, right?) They talk properly about all the shit that’s happened with conversations they really needed to have, Wilbur definitely cried a few times, tried his best to not start arguments, but somehow, he went in for an explanation and came back with one of his oldest enemies by his side.

What he thought would be a small talk eventually blossomed into her first real reconciliation.

He’s so anxious to try on a dress, a dichotomy from the confident, suave Wilbur Eret once knew, but as she slipped it on, her eyes lit up. Eret brushed out its hair for it, pulling the lower half of it into a ponytail and talking about how fast Wilbur’s hair already grows. Its heart swells with pride.

Bigender. That was the word. She rolled it over on her tongue over and over again, bigender. It fit. Its identity wasn’t black and white, no one or the other. Because yeah, sometimes he was a guy, and sometimes she was a fucking girl. God.

#DSMP #dream smp #c!wilbur #wilbur soot #bigender wilbur #the_eret #eret #button duo #I’ve got no headcanon trans name for c!Wilbur pulled from lore so come up with one if you like #!

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theyhaveacavetroll · 11 months

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tagged by @iamdexter123. Thanks!

Rules: A challenge to give your Top 10 favourite characters, based on their ESSENCE. They have to be favourite characters that also have a deeper literary value, where you enjoy their specific role in the story, and this means that the list also should exclude characters that would normally count as favourites if for purely nostalgic reasons. They can be from film, tv, or written media, anything

Oh gods. Um. This is going to be Hard isn't it.

James Flint, Black Sails

I have loved and will continue to love James "Flint" McGraw both for his place in the story and just in general. His was the story that took me by the shoulders, shook me briskly and whispered "it doesn't have to be like this, the world doesn't have to be this cruel but it is and aren't you tired of it? Aren't you tired of pretending that the status quo is ok? Aren't you ready to make it change?" And he was the main voice for that sentiment that shook me down to my bones.

Farah Dowling, Fate Winx Saga

Farah is a character who has done horrible things. She's been the unthinking protegé of a monster and still came back from the edge. She's someone who took all the pain she experienced and has decided to be kind, even if she struggles with that sometimes, and I love her for it. And she's not motherly, she's more of a wine aunt, but she still cares so deeply about people and that's refreshing too. And of course I love it when I get a female character who is allowed to be complex and also in charge.

Saul Silva, Fate Winx Saga

I love Saul for being arguably the most responsible adult in the room at all times and also so deeply, deeply defined by tragedy that I don't think he knows who to be without the guilt he's carrying around with him (I'd love to find out, though). He's got a life that's been deeply shitty in so many ways but he keeps trying to do the right thing, and then there's the way that despite everyone else around him caving and doing things that are questionable or just outright wrong, he's the one with the moral center and the conviction to say "no, I'm not doing this and I wish you wouldn't either" even in the face of danger. Oh - and he's a damsel in distress, which I don't get to see in male characters much.

Daud, Dishonored

*looks at Daud* *looks at Saul* uhhhh, I appear to have a thing about guilt-ridden men who also adopt every kid in sight and who end up getting forgiven by the people they hurt. I just think they're neat, ok?

Charles Vane, Black Sails

Look. This character has - oh, so many flaws. He's a piece of shit in so many ways, but he's also got some of the rawest lines in this entire damn show, the ones that I'd willingly get tattooed on me so I don't forget them. If you ever need to know what radicalized me, it was probably this guy and everything he said and did from 2x10 on.

Tiago Rodriguez/Raoul Silva, James Bond

I'm sorry, was I not supposed to like the most stylish villain in a Bond film since...idk, I think the last one with this much personality was probably Elektra King. The brat energy. The little bit of crazy underneath it. The fact that the man had a really valid point and actually succeeded because he set achievable goals. The way he's... not quite sexually aggressive with Bond but also definitely wants to get railed. Fascinating.

Simon Torquill, October Daye

Simon. My darling, best idiot who needs to have someone wrap him in a blanket for about a century and make him as much honey-sweetened tea as he can stand and above all else not allow him to make major decisions until he's had a chance to process the clusterfuck that is his life up til now. I love him, your honor. I love that I get a male character who's allowed to be his own worst enemy but also the kindest, most caring father anyone could ask for when he's not flinging around transformation spells and shooting people with elfshot while being puppeteered by a megalomaniac. And of course I love an actual redemption arc that for once doesn't end in death. Right, Seanan? RIGHT? (jk, I trust her. Mostly).

Rosalind Hale, Fate Winx Saga

Ok, so. I both hate Rosalind and love her as a character. It's a complicated thing, but I think what I really love about her as a character is that she's a female villain who is creepy as fuck and I wish that the writers had not immediately turned her into... whatever the fuck they were going for in s2. I was much more fond of s1 Rosalind who was an absolute monster who broke the adults in the series so badly and so completely that they're still a pack of emotional wrecks twenty years on. I wanted her to stay that monster instead of being written as a butch lesbian who's just very done with everyone's shit and occasionally given to a bit of torture. I wanted a better look at what she did to Farah, and to Ben Harvey, and for someone to spell out in great detail that she took Andreas and broke him down to be her attack dog from the time he was sixteen.

Basically I love the potential of the character but if she turned up in front of me I would be compelled to stab her quickly.

Javik, Mass Effect

There's something about Javik that I keep coming back to and I think it's the sheer weight of what he represents. One individual out of trillions still alive. Shepard's mirror image, but his mission went to hell and his people all died and now he's awake again and it has to feel like a kind of torture. And yet, for all that, Javik's character arc is about hope. It's about picking yourself up, or rather being picked up, and figuring out how to live again. If you do everything right, Javik gets to see the end of the Reapers and the end of the carnage. He gets to live, and grow, and maybe finally put down his gun and write a book or something, and that's important. We all need a character to remind us that as long as you're alive, there's hope.

Nomi, James Bond

I love her, your honor. If there's one thing the last film got right, it was having three women of color, none of whom had the slightest inclination to fuck Bond, and of the three of them, Nomi is my favorite. I love that she's the new 007. I love that she's there to drag Bond's ass and warn him off her assignment. I love her "Double-0 what?" and I love her "I'll shoot you in the knee. The one that works." I love that she gets to murder racists, and I love that she's got fully as much style as any other 007.

Honorable mentions who didn't make the narrative weight cut or who I just ran out of room for:

Garrus Vakarian, Mass Effect

Mordin Solus, Mass Effect

Anders, Dragon Age

Thomas Barrow, Downton Abbey

Miranda, Black Sails

Madi, Black Sails

Max, Black Sails

Alec Trevelyan, James Bond

Moneypenny (Samantha Bond and Naomi Harris), James Bond

Andreas of Eraklyon, Fate Winx Saga

Tagging anyone who wants to do this, as well as @skloomdumpster, @septemberrie, @djino04, and @penflicks

#tag game #fun stuff

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darthnell · 8 months

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11, 19, 28, 30, 42

Hi anon ! Ty for the ask ! :D

11. Link your three favorite fics right now.

Oh god three of mine or three in general..??? Um. A..? I guess I’ll do both !!

Three of mine: True Vengeance, THE REPARATION CLAUSE, The Bridges We Burn

Three of others: The Illusion of Life, A Great Leap in the Dark, Mors Vincit Omnia

19. What is the most-used tag on your ao3?

Oh I bet for sure it’s gonna be “graphic depictions of violence” LMAO. Aside from like. The thg fandom tags. Also “original characters” and “alternate universe”. The “canon-typical violence” tag is also my best friend and i love when I surpass that one. Canon atypical violence. I think ive used that one before but only once so it doesn’t count here, but it is funny. OH- the “careers have issues” tag. Also my best friend<3 really fucking excellent tag

28. On average, how much writing do you get done in a day?

Pshhhhh uhhhh…. I’m actually just coming off of an event where i wrote like 35k in the span of 5 weeks which is. Not typical ! This past week-ish I have written exactly Zero words (: …at like. Normal times, I probably can do a solid 1k or in that ballpark. I have been known to bang out like 3k in a day if I’m rly in the zone (i was Unwell last july LMFAO) but also I rly don’t typically write every day. Would like to! Need to build a new schedule though. Hard for me to write on the days when I work but I only work part time atm. I am also. Kind of a slow writer usually. I’ve only written as much as I have bc I write frequently ! ((Or I try to))

30. Do you share rough drafts or do you wait until it’s all polished?

Good god I think I’d perish if I shared rough drafts. Like, on ao3… is that a thing..? So like. My shit isn’t perfect. There’s definitely typos I’ve missed and all that jazz, but I usually heavily edit my chapters before posting. The event I did recently was also like my first time having a beta which was neat but. This is rly silly, bear with me - so I had two separate docs for that, one I wrote the fic in and another that I shared w the betas, because the idea of someone having access to all my rough outlines and watching me on the doc as I write makes me Viscerally uncomfortable, I can’t rly explain it better than that. Anyways, the funny part is, said beta would point out a grammar mistake or typo, and I’d go “nice” and fix it, but forget to fix it on the other doc. So when I. When I posted the fic from the original doc… you can see where this is going maybe. Actual clown idiot moment LMFAO. Tl;dr - I attempt to polish. Doesn’t always turn out shiny jdjddjdk

42. What’s the last fic you read? Do you recommend it?

Ooh ! Last one I read was In The Clear by District11-Olive on FFN. So this one is technically thg but very au; it’s set in modern day Canada where a show called The Cut forced teenaged criminals to fight to the death in order to regain their freedom or get a “second chance”. It’s Really well written and also an excellent commentary on what it means to be a criminal and prison systems in general. This one’s actually the third and final installment of the series, wooh! It’s not complete yet; the story just reached the start of the death match part and its so 👁️👄👁️ It’s also a SYOC fic (Submit Your Own Character). Not open for submissions now, but u might see some of my characters if you check it out c:

Gotta also rec The Furthest Star by geologyisms on FFN since I’m in the middle of (re) reading it.. again 🥺 This is the fic I received from the exchange I took part in recently ! So the main pov char Solan Gardener (D9 tribute in the male slot but uses they/them) was created by me but the story was written by erik/geologyisms ! Ve did such a lovely job with my kiddo u should definitely check it out!! 10/10 new comfort fic fr ;—;

Ty again anon for the question, I had fun !!! <3

#nell clownery here #hunger games #hunger games fanfiction #fanfiction asks #anon ask #ask meme #fanfiction #fanfiction writer #hunger games fanfic #the hunger games

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ahtsumu · 3 years

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THE VOICEMAIL HE LEAVES YOU AFTER YOU BREAK UP WITH HIM

thank u @bbytetsu for atsumu’s 💖

MIYA ATSUMU: you broke up with him because he doesn’t read. you don’t even know if he can read. he has never finished a book in his life. dresses up as a gryffindor for halloween but has never even read the harry potter series–– he calls himself a potterhead after just watching the movies 🥴

“BABY PLEASE COME BACK I BOUGHT THE BOOK YOU MENTIONED 😭😭 I GOT THE EN-CENTIPEDE-DIA I’M READING IT RN”

USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: you broke up with him because you guys can’t understand each other. every time he gets a text from you he has urban dictionary open on a separate tab and you always have to ask if he’s mad bc this boy doesn’t know tone 😭 he once said talking to you is like trying to speak in another language omf the miscommunication is real 💔💔

“Y/N i know you... went off on me two days ago but can we forget about the... tea and get back together? i miss you and i’m a different man... i have twitter now... bae”

KUROO TETSUROU: you broke up with him because he’s so secretive and for what!!! okay mr bond 🙄 he’s like “baby u can spill all your secrets to me” and he just absorbs it like a sponge... but when you ask about his childhood trauma he just clams up!! trust is a two-way street sir 😤

“i promise i’ll be more open with you if you give me a second chance... you wanted to know something i’ve never told anyone else so here it goes... i tagged my instagram photos with #f4f until i was in 11th grade 😭”

OIKAWA TOORU: you broke up with him because he always talks over you. you’re in the middle of telling him about your day, talking about how your friend was being shady af today, and he’s like “oh by the way should i wear blue or navy for that gq photoshoot tomorrow?” uhhhh 👀👀 goodbye 👋

he’s not leaving a voicemail 😂

SAKUSA KIYOOMI: you broke up with him because he’s literally always busy. what’s he doing? playing volleyball? doing an interview? on a mf flight to burkina faso??? you never know bc it’s radio silence from his end throughout the day... he literally cannot catch a break :(( you love him but it’s so unfair for u!

“my plane to fiji for a shoot with sports illustrated takes off in five so text me when you get this and i’ll text you back tomorrow, but are you sure we can’t work this out?”

BOKUTO KOUTAROU: you broke up with him because he’s always so LOUD omg this man does not have an inside voice !!! you two always gets dirty looks when you’re at the movies and omf you can’t even step inside a quiet coffeeshop or library with him because he just gets you kicked out 😭

“baby i’m sorry i’m at the library with akaashi right now and i’m practising how to talk normally. if i go over sixty decimals–– decibels–– i have to venmo him five bucks. anyway can you call–– shit”

#miya atsumu x reader #ushijima wakatoshi x reader #kuroo tetsurou x reader #oikawa tooru x reader #sakusa kiyoomi x reader #bokuto koutarou x reader

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lakesandquarries · 3 years

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Tangled Up - Chapter One

for I am a tardigrade, and I'll stay at home

Benrey's spent 26 years living in a tower - 27, tomorrow. When a thief breaks into his tower, he finds his chance to escape and takes it.

Alternatively: Tangled, but the AI is self aware.

(featuring art by @kenas-artstuff )

Notes: check ao3 for warnings and tags! “kane radio” is just gordon using a fake name. fic title from “tangled up” by caro emerald, chapter title from “tardigrade song” by cosmo sheldrake.

Happy valentines day!!! hope you enjoy <3

AO3 Link

This is not the first time Kane’s come to tied up. It’s not even the first time this week. However, it is the first time he’s come to tied up with ropes made of human hair, and the first time he’s come to with a fucking raccoon shoving its nose in his ear.

So maybe he screams a little. Anyone would! It’s a reasonable reaction.

The hair around his wrists is a shiny blue-black, tough when he pulls at it. Is all hair like that? Is it one of those things that’s fragile individually but super tough all together? Seems like it, because it’s not even budging.

He’s so caught up that he doesn’t notice the person in the shadows until they’re holding out a crowbar, tilting up his chin.

“Yo,” they say, quiet and monotone. “You’re not supposed to be here.”

Kane screams again.

They’re weird looking. Pale, really pale, to the point that Kane wonders if something is wrong with them, and with a dark shadow around their eyes like a bruise that makes him sure. They’ve got on a long dress, all dark blues and lace and fancy embroidery, the kind of thing you’d either have to be rich to buy or have a lot of spare time to make. Their eyes are a bright, bright yellow, almost glowing, sclera a pale blue, and their hair is the same blue-black as the hair around Kane’s wrists - oh, it’s the same hair, isn’t it? Fuck, it’s long.

“You’re not supposed to be here,” the guy says again. “You got, uh. ID? Passport?”

“Passport?” This is - this is insane. This cannot be happening. “What the fuck,” he mumbles, repeating it to himself a few times, “what the fuck, who - who are you?”

The man tilts his head up with his crowbar. "No, no. I asked you first. You're in my house, I ask the questions." His eyes narrow, almost translucent in the light. "What're you doing here? How'd you find me? You gonna steal shit?" His hand goes to his hair, tugging on the blue-black strands. "Gonna steal my hair?"

"Steal your - why would I steal your hair?" The crowbar is cold against his throat, pressing harder every time he speaks. "And aside from that, I'm not here to steal anything. I thought this place was empty so I could use it for - as a shelter! Happy now?" His tone stays steady, confident even, but his hands clutch at the armrests desperately.

“You - huh?” The crowbar pulls back, just enough that Kane’s head can drop, and he sucks in a deep breath while he still can. The crowbar moves away entirely for a moment, as the stranger steps aside to have a whispered conversation with his pet raccoon.

Yeah, this day is weird enough for that to seem normal. Between stealing the prince’s royal helmet, ditching his partner, getting chased by a guard dog, and now this - it’s certainly been a day.

While the guy’s busy, Kane glances around, taking in the sights of the tower. It’s small. Homey. There’s a bed, a kitchen, a couch, bookshelves full of video games and a handful of books. The walls are covered, floor to ceiling, in paintings. When he looks up he realizes it’s not just the walls, the ceiling is painted too. Even the furniture has tiny doodles and carvings in it.

The crowbar slides against his throat again, cutting off his train of thought. "Is it just you?” the stranger asks. “No, uh. Backup? Not gonna...." he trails off, looking at his raccoon again, then back to Kane. "Who are you?"

He gives the man the best smile he can manage, under the circumstances, and says, “I’m Kane. Kane Radio.”

“Kane,” the man repeats. There’s a long pause where the two of them just stare at each other, before he finally adds, “Benrey.” Suddenly he tugs on his hair, pulling Kane closer to him and pushing the crowbar aside. “I wanna make a deal with you.”

“Uhh, yeah, could you get me out of your...hair, first? If that is your hair.” He doesn’t have time to make deals, and he doesn’t like the way Benrey repeated his name. Could he….? No, there’s no way. Kane’s been careful to erase any trace of Gordon Freeman. Of all people to blow his secret it’s not gonna be some random hermit living in a tower. He swallows, appreciating the lack of metal at his throat. “To be honest, I’d rather -”

Aaaand there goes the crowbar again. Shouldn’t have gotten confident. "You're lucky I'm gonna let you leave," Benrey says, voice low. Suddenly he doesn't seem like just a weird guy in a tower. Suddenly he seems like a threat. A choked yelp claws out of Kane’s throat as Benrey tugs on his hair again, pulling Kane close enough that he can see his unnaturally sharp teeth. "Wanna try that again?"

He barely processes the words, focused on the man - man?? - in front of him, the sharp teeth and glowing eyes and the crowbar pressing his throat shut, or maybe that’s just anxiety. It occurs to him that maybe this guy isn’t human.

His smile is nowhere near its usual confidence, but he tries to grin anyway. “S-so, uh, what...what was that deal? Benrey?”

Benrey’s face splits into a grin, and suddenly he’s just...a guy again. A weird guy! A weird, unsettling guy, with eyes that are too bright and teeth that are too sharp and hair that is way too long, but a guy. The crowbar is lowered and Benrey steps back, clambering up his fireplace and pulling back a red curtain. Behind it is...a painting? Still semi-fresh, from the looks of it, in the same style that all the other paintings are. This one depicts the floating lanterns they do for the prince's birthday. There’s all sorts of colors, blue and silver and pink and green, and below the sky is a hill with a small figure on it with long black hair.

"You know what these are?" he asks, pointing a finger at a pink light.

Kane exhales slowly. Benrey’s gonna push that crowbar against him again any second now, so he might as well enjoy breathing while he can. Fuck, he’d almost rather go back outside and deal with the guard dog that chased him here. “Yeah,” he says, voice shaking, and he clears his throat before he continues. “The lanterns for the lost prince.” Is Benrey fucking with him? Everyone knows the lanterns. Kane’s never even been to a lantern ceremony himself but he still knows what they are. He’d need a serious head injury to forget that, and while his head hurts a bit it’s certainly not that bad.

Benrey does not seem to be fucking with him, because he does a little cheer and fist pump. “I knew they weren’t stars,” he mumbles to himself, before turning back to Kane. Louder, he says, "I want you to take me there. To see 'em." He pulls the curtain back over and jumps down from the mantle, landing on the floor with a heavy thud. "Think you can manage that? Just there and back and I don't, uh. Y'know." He glances at the window. Kane follows his gaze, picturing Benrey launching his body out of it, and shudders. "Pretty good deal, I think."

Kane’s breath comes out in a panicked hiss.”W-well, that's not really a good idea right now, since I shouldn’t show my face in the kingdom right now considering I -" oh shit. "Oh shit. My satchel! Where is my satchel?!"

Benrey raises an eyebrow, smirking at him. “Oh, the bag thingy? I hid it. Mine now.” His smug face is the most infuriating thing Kane has ever seen, and he’d be throwing a punch if he wasn’t fucking tied to a chair. Benrey continues, "If you want it, you gotta earn it. You take me to the lanterns, I give you your satchel. Deal?"

Hid it. He said he hid it, so it’s….somewhere in here, probably, and once Kane realizes that it’s easy to figure out. He nods his head at a flowerpot. “It’s in there, huh?”

Benrey raises the crowbar again.

Oh, shit. “W-wait, no no no, no need to hit me!” He shuts his eyes, wishing he could move his arms to protect himself. He does not need any more head trauma, thank you very much.

This guy really won’t hesitate to kill him, huh? This stupid deal is his only real option. Kane sighs, keeping his eyes shut. "L-look, I'll keep my eyes shut like this? And you can hide my satchel somewhere else. No peeking. I'll agree to the deal. Just - my head already feels like splitting."

A pause. Kane almost considers opening his eyes but keeps them shut. Finally he hears Benrey’s voice again. “No peeking,” he repeats. There’s a series of shuffling noises, bare feet and raccoon claws against the floor, and then a moment later: “Okay. You can open your eyes.”

The satchel is nowhere to be seen, without even a hint to where it might be hiding. He sighs, head dropping forward before he looks up at Benrey again. "If I'm gonna agree to this, let me ask at least one question. Why do you wanna see them so badly, and why would you need an escort for that?"

Benrey’s face goes blank. “Uhhhh,” is all he says, followed by a long pause, leaving Kane worried he broke him somehow, but finally Benrey continues. "That's, uh. None of your business. 's just - it's, uh, dangerous. Out there. For me. Need a....need a guide."

Huh. Sheltered, maybe? Benrey seems...well, a little off, to be blunt. He can’t be much younger than Kane is, but he doesn’t even know about the lanterns. Overprotective parent seems a likely answer, but whatever the reason, now’s not the time to pry. “Alright, yeah, none of my business. Okay. We go see the lanterns, come back, you give me the satchel, yeah? Deal?”

“Deal,” Benrey agrees.

“Okay. Does that mean you can untie me now?”

-----

The thing about spending 27 years in a tower, knowing that this is where you’re going to spend your entire life, is that when you get the option to leave it’s kind of the scariest thing imaginable.

Kane’s already climbed down, leaning against a tree while Benrey stands on the ledge. Physically, he’s ready. He’s got his hair wrapped around the lever, ready to swing down, ready to go, to get out of the stupid fucking tower and out into the real world, except -

Except -

“You are never leaving this tower.” Zeki’s hands are on his shoulder, nails digging in. “Do you understand?”

Benrey reaches back, trying to grab at the closet. “But -”

“The outside world isn’t safe for you. You aren’t safe for it. If you went outside, you know what would happen?”

“Huh?”

“Look at you.” She grabs his hand roughly, pulling him over to the mirror. “They’ll take one look at you, and they’ll know, and then what? You’ll fight back. You’ll hurt people. You’re dangerous.”

It’s nothing new, but. He thinks about the man he has stuffed into his closet. He didn’t hurt him. He’ll be fine! “But -”

“This isn’t up for discussion. You. Are not. Leaving. Ever. Do you understand me or not?”

He stares at the mirror, looking between himself and Zeki. She’s looked the same as long as he can remember, brown hair always pulled into a bun and dark green eyes, pale skin but not in the same way Benrey is pale. She’s human. He’s not. And she’s right, that anyone who looks at him is gonna know. That’s why he’s up here, where it’s safe. Where no one can hurt him. And, more importantly, where he can’t hurt anyone else.

“I understand,” Benrey mumbles.

“Good.”

“I, uh. I thought of - I came up with something better. For a, uh. Birthday thingy.”

Zeki turns away from the mirror, towards Benrey. “Oh?”

“You got me that - the paint. Last year. The white one?”

“That’s a long trip,” she says, pursing her lips.

“I won’t ask about the. The stars. Or going outside. Or anything of that. I’ll, uh -” He glances at the dresser, the one where she keeps her lab coat. “I’ll make up for it.”

There’s a glint in her eyes, sharp like her favourite knife. “Fine. I’ll get you the paint.” Her face softens as she places a hand on Benrey’s head. “I’m only doing this to protect you.”

“I know,” he mumbles, as she steps away to gather her things. “I know.”

“Benrey?” Kane yells. “Are you gonna move or what?”

He jumps.

The fall is intense. Wind in his hair, sun on his face, watching the ground get closer - oh that’s close. Oh that’s very close. He stops just a few inches off the ground, hesitating once again. There’s no going back from this. The grass is so much greener than he expected, bright and shiny in the sun, drops of dew still lingering, and before he can spiral further he puts his foot down. When nothing happens - no monster appears, no pit opens up and swallows him - he puts both feet on the ground, the blades of grass tickling him.

A quick tug, and he pulls his hair down from the lever, watching it fall to the ground, and then joins it. The grass is still damp underneath him, but the sun above is warm. He’s getting covered in dew and dirt and bits of grass and he can’t find it in him to care, busy savoring the feeling he’s dreamed of for so long.

It’s not until he stands up that he realizes the bulk on his hair landed directly on Kane. He starts shoving hair aside, Jefferem lending a set of tiny hands as extra help. “You good?” Benrey asks, as Kane’s head becomes visible.

Kane huffs, struggling to stand. “Apart from being attacked by your mane, yeah, I'm fine. Can you help me out?”

Benrey holds out an arm. Pulling Kane up proves easier than he thought, and he pulls a little too hard, almost slamming Kane into him, the two of them pressed together for a moment before Kane coughs and steps back. Benrey takes a moment to half-heartedly brush some dirt and grass out of his hair and off his clothes, looking at Kane. “Guide time?”

Kane blinks at him, not bothering to clean off his clothing. “Uh - yeah. Guide time. Let’s go!” His steps are loud as he walks away.

Benrey’s footsteps are almost inaudible as he follows, crowbar gripped tight in his hands. The initial adrenaline is starting to fade, doubt settling in. Maybe this was a bad idea. It’s not too late to turn around and go back.

He shakes his head. Lost in his own thoughts, he’s fallen behind, and he has to sprint to catch up. Hoping not to zone out again, he starts talking, letting the first thing he can think of fall out of his mouth. “The lights - the lanterns. You said they were for a...prince?”

They enter a small stone tunnel as Kane answers. His voice is soft. “Every year, on the prince’s birthday, the kings - and the whole kingdom - release a swarm of lanterns,” he explains, voice echoing. It turns theatrical as he continues. “See, their little boy was snatched away as a baby, by an evil wizard! Or...something like that, at least. They’re hoping the lanterns will bring him back.”

“On his birthday?” Benrey echoes. Weird coincidence. A moment passes while Benrey busies himself with touching the walls of the tunnel. “And they still haven’t found him? Why’re they still doing the lanterns if it doesn’t work?”

Kane’s voice is softer, more subdued when he responds. "The kings still have hope that their baby boy will return someday. It's a very human thing in my opinion."

Ah. Human thing. That explains why Benrey doesn’t understand.

Kane pokes his head through the ivy, waiting a moment before ducking back and lifting it to let Benrey through. “We’re clear.”

Raising an eyebrow, Benrey repeats, “Clear?” Is something following them, or is Kane just paranoid? Or maybe Benrey is reading too much into things. Maybe it’s normal to check for stuff like that. Not like he would know.

"Ah - well, I told you earlier, didn't I? The kingdom and I aren't... quite buddy buddy at the moment." As they walk, he keeps looking around, eyes darting back and forth. "But don't worry, it shouldn't be a big problem for our objective."

Oh. Maybe he should’ve paid more attention to what Kane was saying earlier. Too late for that now, though. “So I was right? You a little - thief boy, huh? Stealing shit?” It’s mostly a guess, but he can’t picture this guy doing any real crime. His satchel probably had some stolen shit in it and that’s why he wants it back so bad. Well, better to team up with a criminal than a guard or something, considering all the rules Benrey’s breaking.

“Why do you keep insisting I steal shit?” Kane asks, looking away from Benrey. He doesn’t even give him time to answer, immediately following it with, “Hey, you hungry?”

Immediately changing the subject, huh? Now that’s suspicious. Admittedly he is a little hungry, and curious about where they’d be getting food out here. “Only if you’re not gonna steal it.”

Kane’s mouth screws up, eyes narrowing with a scoff. “I know a good place to get food. On our way, too. My friend works there.”

Oh shit, other people. He hesitates a moment before nodding. “Sure. Sure, yeah.”

Kane squints at him again. “You're not really an outside person huh? Have you...Have you ever been outside before?”

Damn, okay, just gonna straight up ask. Benrey opens his mouth to answer and then stops. “You answer my question first.” He’s not looking at Kane as he talks, eyes on the road ahead.

A groan in response, and then, “Fine, neither of us get an answer, then.” Kane picks up his pace, quickly getting ahead of Benrey.

“Someone’s grumpy,” Benrey mutters, rushing to catch up again. Kane’s anger surprises him. “I don’t care if you are. I’m breaking like....every rule possible just being here.” He pauses, scuffing at the dirt. “‘s all cool. Y’know. Be gay, do crime.”

Kane bursts into laughter, stopping in the road for a second. “Real rebel, huh?” he asks, shooting Benrey a grin that he returns nervously. “Fitting, then, for you to break out with a thief.”

Benrey’s grin widens, delighted. “Hah! I was right.”

“Yeah, yeah, congratulations, Blueberry.” The smile twists at the corners, as Kane leans closer to Benrey. “But that means we’re in my business now. So what about yours? You said you're breaking every rule right now. So... you weren't allowed outside that tower for some reason?”

That same empty expression makes a return as Benrey freezes. Twirling a strand of hair around his fingers, he clears his throat, forcing himself to start moving again. Walked right into that one, huh? And he’s not a coward, he’s not gonna refuse to answer after he finally got Kane to admit something. “Yeah,” he mumbles. “I, uh. Yeah. Not allowed. Very not allowed.”

If Zeki knew what he was doing right now - she’d kill him. Worse than kill him. Beside him, Kane’s gaze is soft, head tilted and eyebrows furrowed.

“Well…” he starts, “sometimes, you just gotta do what feels right, even if it hurts or makes someone mad. Trust me on that, I know from experience.” To punctuate his last words, he nudges against Benrey’s arm, almost affectionate. Benrey jumps for a second, hand darting to touch the spot Kane had brushed against, almost expecting it to feel different somehow. But no, it’s just his arm.

“Experience,” he repeats quietly. “Uh, yeah. I mean - I’m here.”

“That you are, Mr. Independent.”

#hlvrai #half life vr but the ai is self aware #benrey #gordon feetman #frenrey #benrey hlvrai #cora writes #tangled au #tangled up #adventures of cora

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singingcookie · 3 years

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I'm gonna go over personal wellness progress here. Mostly because I know no one reads my text posts anyway and I'd feel weird commandeering a discord channel to be like "hey look at my progress with this thing I never mentioned publicly because there's something embarrassing about admitting that I haven't been happy and have been hiding it from you"

Also, I feel like it'll mostly result in bot hugs and 🥺🥺🥺 faces which I don't really want either. What I want is to speak in the void and have a record of progress for myself to look back on whenever I'm forgetful or feel myself sliding. I think I'm gonna give it the tag "wellness progress" so feel free to mute or blacklist that tag if you wish.

On to it though.

So since I started therapy, I've been trying to notice patterns in what makes my anxieties worse and what makes them better.

In terms of what makes them worse it is, one hundred percent, being in my own head and refusing to communicate concerns with people. It can even be something small like "oh gosh, did I phrase this in a bad way?" but I internalize it and it almost like. Causes the concern to compound on itself until I'm basically shutting down on a conversation because I've convinced myself that I'm annoying them and they don't want to talk to me but are too nice to say so.

It's really hard to admit those feelings when they come. Because they can feel selfish but luckily my therapists technique for dealing with thinking traps has helped quite a bit with that one.

Another thing that makes my anxiety act up really bad (at least right now) is being asked what I want to do, like job wise. This is something I have to address eventually and I can't just perpetually put this conversation off. But as it stands right now I've been having a bit of a crisis over how my work affects my worth as a person. Cause you know when you hear things like "you can't work there your whole life" over and over and you can't get hired anywhere else due to ✨lack of experience and a degree✨ it only makes your self-worth go to shit. Go figure!

This one's kind of harder for me to work through so I don't exactly have a solution other than trying to internalize the idea that my self worth doesn't come from my job. Which is going to take time and effort to convince myself of but I'm willing to put in that time.

NOW THOUGH, THINGS THAT HELP. Things I've noticed about days where my anxiety is low and how to extend those times.

First, the one that did not surprise me in the least was talking to folks every once in a while. Go figure that communicating with people that make me happy uhhhh [looks at notes] makes me happy?????? Who would have guessed. I can't let myself get too distracted by talking though because otherwise I'll neglect other things I said I would do but don't. Usually I get around this by telling at least one person what I plan to do because then, inevitably, they'll ask "how did [insert thing here] go?" and then I either have to admit I pushed it off or tell them how it went if I made the time for it.

Semi-relatedly, having plans and tasks helps me a lot. Days where I have lots of things I want or need to do is actually really good at preventing major bouts of anxiety. My main issue with relying on this though is....it's been really easy for me to forget about what it is I have to do. Sometimes it's not forgetting outright but things like "Oh I'll do the laundry" and subsequently forget to switch the load to the dryer. Or forget to take it out of the dryer. It also doesn't help that my work schedule is inconsistent so it's hard to make plans and tasks for myself.

Solution to that though. I bought a planner! It goes through 16 months and it has messages of self care and cute animal art for every week. I'm normally really bad about using planners. I tend to fall out of habit with them really easily. But I'm hoping to incorporate it this time through sheer force of will! Right now I have it filled out through the 9th of next month with my work schedule and therapy meetings. Which isn't a lot but it's something at least. I figure this might also help me out more with easing into long-term planning which might help with the whole job anxiety thing. Maybe. That's just a theory though

Last thing also semi related to the planner, I'm trying to establish daily routine. I can't do morning or night routines, really, because my work schedule is so varied. But I figure! That if I give myself tasks and say "I have to try to do these things at some point every day" that's flexible while also giving myself a goal. For now what I have on my daily routine itinerary is...

Stretch (being on bar all day at work is really starting to hurt my back)

Take vitamins

Eat three meals a day (two if I can't swing that)

Play Pokemon Go (actual walks are preferable but hitting up a pokestop and catching one pokemon is okay)

Reach my 50 exp goal on duolingo lessons (or as close as I can get on a bad day)

Talk to at least one friend

Write, edit or outline at least a little

It's not a whole lot. But it's something and this last week since I started adhering to it, I've been feeling a bit better! I still have my bad days, but I can tell there's progress. And I guess that's all I can hope for.

#wellness progress #I'm trying my best and making adjustments and that's really all I can do right now

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many-gay-magpies · 3 years

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i got tagged by @mari-kigold!! this was so much fun, thank u for the tag artzyy <3

1. why did you choose your url?

very simple actually. it was gay-jesus-official for the longest time but i needed a change of pace, SO here we are! im gay, i like birds, and my name is magpie—hence, many gay magpies.

(more under the cut)

2. any side blogs? if you have them name them and why you have them.

i have three but in only really use one of them sjfhdffgfgc

@bambihee, for moodboards! (it's mainly enhypen-centric at the moment, as is my main)

the other two are old blogs from back when i was in the koc. one of them was my koc "main" that is 99% dead, and the literal only reason i havent deactivated yet is because of the past messages with a close moot that i dont want to lose ;-; the other is a koc rant blog-turned-normal rant blog that i havent used in weeks, honestly i dont know why im keeping it. attachment? pretty jeonghan layout? who knows. anyways im not tagging either of them because theyre both dead af and there would be literally no point <3

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

hold on uhhhh *sounds of a gay doing math* i think like 19 or 20 months? cuz i joined in october of 2019

4. do you have a queue tag?

i barely use the queue BUT since i recently started making moodboards i have a tag for when i promote stuff from my moodboard blog which is just q: bambihee

but other than that no

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

i'd been kind of wanting to do it for a while cuz i kept seeing screenshots of tumblr posts on pinterest and it seemed gloriously chaotic (it is), but what really made me take the ✨deep dive✨ was me wanting to see what the kpop, particularly stray kids, fandom was like on tumblr

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

it's a picture of heeseung because i'm whipped for him and it's this PARTICULAR picture of heeseung because he just looks so soft in it :(( like seriously his eyes are so big and beautiful

7. why did you choose your header?

i don't have a header at the moment, BUT my last header was a screenshot of heeseung from the fever mv which i don't think requires an explanation <3

8. what's your post with the most notes?

i don't know for certain, but im guessing its the one onlyoneof post i made about the members' reactions to wooksung's ✨move✨ in the libidO dance practice

9. how many mutuals do you have?

i havent counted and i dont really care to to be honest

10. how many followers do you have?

325

11. how many people do you follow?

350

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

what, really, is the criteria for a shitpost? what is "shitposting"? what is our purpose in life?

(the answer is yes)

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

ahahAHA

hAHA

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

if i ever end up fighting somebody, even just over tumblr, i will probably cry, have a panic attack, or both. i would rather walk into a tree than engage in conflict with a person.

i did disappoint someone once and frankly i think that was just as bad

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?

i do not like them. i used to reblog like every one i saw because i was always like "but what if", but i have since decided that i will not be giving a fuck. i reblog your post when i want to, thank you very much, i dont care if madame zeroni or whoever the fuck curses me for all eternity, that shit is an unnecessary stressor for already plenty-stressed human beings and has no place on my blog

16. do you like tag games?

yes!! not that you'd know it from how little i actually participate in them svfhfhfgdg

i appreciate you tagging me very much i am just forgetful and stressed :<

17. do you like ask games?

ALSO yes! tho i dont get them that often tbh

the ones that are like 'mutuals send this emoji in an ask to see what your mutual thinks of you!' lowkey stress me out because im afraid i wont know what to say ghdhghvh (it doesn't stop me from doing them tho <3)

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

uh. none of them? i dont know

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

nope, and i never have <3 (not a serious CRUSH-crush, anyway)

20. tags?

im gonna tag @ateezaligned @baby-dinobean @markismybxtch @sunghoonseyebrowcult and anyone else who wants to do this! you don't have to if you don't want to ofc ^^

#tag games #artzyy 🎨#oh wow im actually answering a tag game for once how fun is that

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cranehusbands · 4 years

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for a charming guy, you suck at date nights

mirage | elliott witt/octane | octavio silva; established relationship; fluff; movie nights; adhd headcanons; 1388 words

a/n: 3 FOR 3! these just keep getting posted later and later, im so sorry about that, but i was trying out crossplay on apex today (!!!) and having a blast, i forgot how much fun this game can be with friends, hehe

anyways, day 3 for @apex-rarepairweek, movie night! featuring my very specific octane hcs about his hyperfixations where i am (we irritating) we Projecting. thank you again for these prompts guys, these were super fun!

likes < reblogs, any comments in the tags are appreciated

ao3 mirror in the reblogs!

Preview: “Uh, knock knock, comin’ through.” Octavio looked up, only just realising how badly he was chewing at his fingers as he saw Elliott struggling into the room, two drinks in hand and a bowl under his arm. “Oh, shit- sorry, didn’t hear you askin’ for help.” “You’re fine, babe, but thanks.” He gave a small smile of relief as the runner took the bowl from him, only for that to turn into a light scowl as he watched him scoop a handful of popcorn into his mouth. “C’mon, at least save it.” “S’good.” “Too hot?” Octavio didn’t reply, only slightly winced and turned away to put the bowl on the coffee table, and that was enough for the trickster to soften again, joining him on the loveseat (fitting, for a date night) as he slid the soda over to Octavio’s side, and kept the coffee for himself.

“You can sit down, you know that, right?”

The voice from the kitchen made Octavio look up from his shoes, kicking at the linoleum of the apartment’s entrance. He’d been standing there since Elliott had let him in a few minutes before, before he’d left to go make them drinks. “Uh, sí, just… waiting for you.”

“You, the Octane? Waiting? Thought hell’d freeze over before that happened.”

Though the legend scowled momentarily, hearing his boyfriend chuckle to himself from a distance was enough for him to relax the shoulders he didn’t know he was tensing, pulling his hands out of the pockets of his jacket to wring his hands. So he was a little nervous, sure. And he wasn’t coping well with it, yeah. But it was Elliott - just Elliott, not charming funny guy Mirage - and him here… though even that seemed like it was going to be a little too much.

Like a lost and bewildered dog, he wandered into the living room, putting his bag down by the side of the sofa tossing his leather jacket across the back of it, fiddling with his gloves as he looked around. He’d been in this front room many times before, especially since they’d gotten together, though more often than not it had just been a segway to go out on a date, or further into the apartment, either option leading to a great time… but not tonight. Elliott wanted to stay in, do something cute (‘like normal couples do’ he’d said, as if they were anything close to normal), and had suggested watching a movie together. “You have a lot of those.” he’d chipped in, but he didn’t even know the half of it.

For a long time, Octavio had wasted his money on any old earth horror movie he could find. He had enough of it, seeing how as soon as he burned a hole in his pocket he earned back almost twice as much, but it made him happy - almost as happy as risking his life. He was sure Ajay was happy with the alternative, though impulsive spending was hardly an improvement. But for Octavio, the rush of happiness that came with another order or just watching the same movie over and over again was what he always needed, a tie over until the game the next day, or the stunt live on stream in the afternoon.

Maybe that’s why he was so wound up - he was baring his heart out here, and that wasn’t something he liked to do. He was the kind of guy to keep his cards close to his chest, and locked behind threads of chains, and the persona of a man who didn’t care what people thought of him, but still had no interests outside of what he did. And though, yes, the adrenaline rush and the cheer of the crowds was enough for him… movies like these kept him company on lonely nights with a nanny he didn’t care for, when his father had his nose too deep in work or another set of divorce papers.

“Uh, knock knock, comin’ through.”

Octavio looked up, only just realising how badly he was chewing at his fingers as he saw Elliott struggling into the room, two drinks in hand and a bowl under his arm. “Oh, shit- sorry, didn’t hear you askin’ for help.”

“You’re fine, babe, but thanks.” He gave a small smile of relief as the runner took the bowl from him, only for that to turn into a light scowl as he watched him scoop a handful of popcorn into his mouth. “C’mon, at least save it.”

“S’good.”

“Too hot?”

Octavio didn’t reply, only slightly winced and turned away to put the bowl on the coffee table, and that was enough for the trickster to soften again, joining him on the loveseat (fitting, for a date night) as he slid the soda over to Octavio’s side, and kept the coffee for himself.

“So, you wanted to be in charge of picking, right?”

“Uh, heh… yeah.” He twiddled his thumbs a little, before reaching over the side of the arm to grab his backpack, self-branded and decorated with merchandise of himself and his fellow legends, zipping it open and showing the contents, almost entirely packed with old DVDs.

“Oh, uh… woah.”

“I… couldn’t decide.”

“Yeah, clearly.” Elliott chuckled a little, looking up at Octavio’s slight frown, which really didn’t sit right on his face. “N-not that that’s bad, it’s just very… fitting, for you. Well, let’s see ‘em and then come to a decm- decrom- ...we can pick together.”

He did as he was told, slowly giving a basic synopsis of each movie he found, recalling odd details and memories he associated with each one, almost forgetting that when it came to these things, he always revealed his full hand and heart in his excitement.

“Oh, this one is a three-parter, kinda like Saw in that it got criticised a lot for being ‘torture porn’ - it’s not… actually porn, it’s just a term for movies with a lot of graphic violence - b-but the endorsement of the first one from this director dude really carried it to cult status with some people. Oh, this one’s a Wes Craven classic- he did, uh-”

“Uhhhh, Elm Street, and Scream, yeah?”

“Sí, sí! This one kinda flopped, though. I still think it’s neat. Little boring sometimes.” He shuffled in his seat a little, carrying on digging through his bag. “Ah, this is a good one! Aliens in the school faculty tryin’ to kill everyone. Oh, oh, and this one’s got alien’s too, but it’s like… British, so there’s that - think it was important back then, ‘cos of stereotypes and- ah, shit, I brought Saw 6 but not Saw 7, I didn’t bring ‘em all ‘cos the first one is boring-”

“Tav, Tav, relax, buddy. Catch a breath.” Elliott laughed, watching Octavio’s expression shift to one of embarrassment as he deflated a little, movies still in his hands, leg bouncing.

“...Sorry, mi amor, you probably don’t-”

“Hey, of course I care. C’mere.” He wrapped his arms around the runner before he could finish, leaning in to pepper his cheek with kisses, making the man giggle a little, though still somewhat sheepish from his unhinged ramblings. “You’re so cute when you get excited, you know that, right?”

“You remind me every day, amigo.”

“I better. Just look at you.” Giving Octavio a playful cheek pinch, Elliott only laughed when the gesture was returned in kind by a soft shove. “Listen, we have all the time in the world. Just you and me tonight, remember? Pick your favourite, and let’s go from there, for as long as we can go. Sound good?”

Octavio slowly nodded, leaning into his boyfriend’s touch, the tension in his body relaxing a little at the comfort, sifting through the rest of the DVDs that he could barely fit into his backpack before he pulled one out from the back, a small grin on his face, showing the pumpkin on the cover to Elliott. “This one?”

“Gotta love the classics. You know where the player is.”

He practically shot off the sofa, almost dragging Elliott with him with the force as he launched himself towards the TV cabinet, pulling open the glass door where the old DVD player sat and prying open the case, barely able to contain himself as he put the disc inside and watched the machine eat it up. He’d seen this movie thousands of times before, he practically knew it by heart at this point, and his impression of the final girl was top-notch, but somehow, he knew watching it with Elliott would be so much better.

Octavio crawled his way back onto the trickster’s arms, resting himself against his chest with his knees curled up, brought closer by an arm around his shoulder. He felt a gentle kiss on the top of his head and grinned to himself, focused on the moving image on the screen, any worries he had before seeming to drain away. Elliott has that effect, it seemed - enough that in the fourth movie in, they fell asleep in each other’s arms, even the sounds of snuff film murder and screams down the phone not enough to wake them from a lover’s embrace.

#apex legends #apex rarepair week #miroctane #mirage #octane #dahl.doc #apex legends tag

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tropicalfreckles · 4 years

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Beej?

Anon you’ve opened the floodgates you absolute fool(i’m kidding) OKAY, let me tell you all about what I like about the smelly trash man cause if it wasn’t obvious before with me not being so subtle I have a big crush and enjoy this stupid demon a lot (crush on musical beej specifically of course LAWL)

Why I Like them: OKAY IN ORDER, first movie Beetlejuice. I enjoy he’s a big sleazy asshole that has funny one-liners every time he actually just show up in the movie. He’s a fast-talking con man that acts like a used car salesman and he has a sleazy charm to him. I also enjoy watching Barbara school his ass every time I rewatch the movie, stan movie Barbara y’all she’s a babe and will take you down. I also like to thank Michael Keaton for his performance it was a great one and we all have movie Beej to thank for the other Beetlejuices we got!

Toon Beej! Adorable, a brat, a jerk, a man that would do anything to make a quick buck and he’s gross and such a petty shithead I love him lmao. He can be pure and adorable and nice when he wants to be even if he doesn’t like to show that he has a soft side. Also holy shit all his puns??? YES?? I LOVE PUNS. His jokes, his powers, everything about this middle aged dead ghoul is A+ and ya know what when karma does slap him that’s good too cause he does deserve to get taken down a peg some times lmao. Toon Beej is someone I’d happily be friends with.

now we get to my big ass crush on a stupid, smelly BASTARD OF A BUGMAN

Musical Juice. What don’t I like about him? Besides his dumb ass plan of a green card marriage lmao (I mean movie beej also sleazy af for doing that too). ANYWAYS. What I like. His stupid smile (both blum and brightman just WHY ARE THEY BOTH SO ATTRACTIVE AHHH), his unhinged pansexual disaster energy, who tf is letting this man do coke that is a terrible idea but it gives such hilarious results, the fact that he uses his humor with his trauma he needs to NOT call me out like that lol. I weirdly relate to Musicaljuice like a lot (as someone who struggles with trying not to be petty or get jealous and stuff like that), plus him feeling invisible and lonely also hit home really hard when people in middle school and high school would randomly just drop/ghost me out of the blue. He’s such a chaotic sleaze and I just enjoy his energy and his jokes so much. His dirty humor? Sign me up I keep it clean here folks cause I got another blog for dirty stuff but I like dirty humor when it’s done right lmao. Also dadbod. Dadbod is CHEF KISS. The little things I also enjoy. How he does have an affectionate side (him being just affection/touch starved also coming for the throat cause me too), the fact that he jumped to protect Lydia after she rightfully killed him and he even gave her his cowboy hat as a goodbye present. I thought it was nice of him to yeet out of there cause he did do a lot of bads lmao. I also love how excited he got and the chaotic sibling energy he had with Lydia when scaring. I just really, really enjoy musical Beetlejuice a lot guys.

Sorry I’m such a simp for him lmao

He is my emotional support bastard

Why I don’t: I honestly do not hate his character at all, but, I can criticize his actions. To a degree. I can’t exactly say (ex. Musicaljuice)“Oh no! a demon trying to kill Lydia’s friends and family?? How unexpected!!” he’s a demon he’s gonna do evil-ish things. Which is why I applaud Lydia taking matters into her own hands good kid 10/10. and like movie Juice is a bastard sleazy man of course he’s gonna have a shitty idea as to marry a teenage girl so he can freely do whatever he wants in the world of the living. He never in the final script showed any creepy shit towards her which god I am grateful for I don’t need someone perving on this teenager that’s already having a wild time in her new house. He’s a conman just trying to have a good time but goes about it by crappy means. The petty/jealousy thing can go too far some times (but I chalk that up to musicaljuice’s sad upringing along with not having an positive relationships that we know of in his life to support him) for musical and toon juice (toon juice once again I don’t think had any friends that really understood him when he was alive and when he died so he just does whatever he wants since people already think so little of him before he meets Lydia), however with the proper talking to I think both could improve from it. Like in an analysis way I know these guys are fictional just like character development thoughts. All three have said and or done some things ranging from like small shitty things to problematic obviously. Beetlejuice is a very complex character as a whole. Movie juice obviously not as developed since he’s barely in the film to kind of shroud him in more mystery but that doesn’t mean his motives aren’t intriguing. I don’t want to make this post longer than it already is so that’s just all of my thoughts summarized.

Favorite Episode (scene if Movie): Fav movie beej scene is hard.

His first time meeting the Maitlands, his charades with Lydia, then the ending scene are all so good.

Toon Beej I’m trying to think. Once again I’ve only rewatched like 20+ episodes for the cartoon so it’s hard to pick with limited options. Uhhhh I like the haunted attraction episode lmao also the creepy tree and how he went out of his way to help Lydia move her favorite tree and in the end tried saying something nice to the tree even though eh was annoyed with it the whole episode.

Musical juice that is HARD, Blum and Brightman just own every scene they’re in shit lawl. I really like the evil plan reveal during the séance. The whole being dead pt 1&2 (the guide reprise), say my name, his scenes with the maitlands.

Favorite season/movie: Skip

Favorite Line: NICE FUCKING MODEL!! *honkhonk* (pfft)

also like... everything beetlejuice says in the musical lmao “new phone who dis”

Favorite Outfit: HONESTLY I love every single outfit all three beetlejuices wear. I want the fucking guide hat so badly!!!

OTP:

hahahaAAAHH ah. Well. Ya see here. Let’s go with the first options. Cause of a number of artists on here I’ve been pretty keen on the BeetlejuicexMiss Argentina ship for moviejuice tbh lmao. I like the idea they had an office fling. Musicaljuice and Miss Argentina sounds cute too.

I don’t actively go into the Beetlands tag but I do think the art and idea for it (after a lot of building up trust/consent/and talking) think it can be a super cute poly ship! I like.

I don’t really ship Toon Beej with anyone tbh.

so now into the self indulgent shit lmaaoo

I love people’s ocs/self inserts with the Bugman a lot and I myself super hardcore ship my oc Leilani and musicaljuice. I... maye have drawn self insert art I have no posted here out of being shy but it’s on another blog that will stay hidden lmao. I don’t normally post self insert stuff of myself cause man I can draw it easily for other people but when it comes to myself I am shy.

I mean I’m writing a fic for beej and lani as we speak and you all know by now if you’ve been following me for the past couple of months I’ve drawn a handful of doodles plus commissioned numbnutspo to draw my self indulgent ship lawl

BROTP: The obvious for toon and musicaljuice is Lydia Deetz of course. Chaos siblings. Also I have a BROTP of my demon oc Antares with musicaljuice too. Dumb demon bros.

Unpopular Opinion: TBH Idk if I have one. I like to think there’s a resounding hiss @ the ship that shall not be named lmao.

A Wish: Same wish I had for Lydia’s ask, I wanna see the musical live REAL BADLY. I also wish I could tell the cast/crew of the musical how much it has helped me get through this shitty year and how it legit just revived my passion for drawing again. I got to meet a lot of people through the musical and made some new friends. Plus I’m actually making money off my art now???

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: I wanna forget that clean beetlejuice from that one episode of the cartoon exists lmao it scares me (I mean I wouldn’t object to musical juice to taking a fucking bath or brushing his teeth but let’s be real that ain’t happening)

5 words to best describe them: Bastard, Unhinged, Handsome, 1-Brain Cell, Huggable

My nickname for Them: I mean when I refer to him or write fics it’s always Beej, BJ, Bugman, Bug, Bastard Man, Smelly Trashman, Garbage Man, Lawrence, the list goes on lawl

and now I have aired out more of my stupid obsession with this dumb demon

edit: I FORGOT HEADCANONS

OKAY HEADCANONS. Musical juice is definitely the oldest of the three, (in dead terms too, in alive terms he was ony alive for like less than 3 minutes or something), I love musicaljuice pansexual/genderfluid so much. I have a bunch but my mind is like blank rn for the rest shit sorry but I added those in at least

also I like the funny headcanon toon juice is taller than keatlejuice and musicaljuice

I also like the headcanon for autistic beetlejuice (as someone who is also autistic)

#asks #long post #anon #beetlejuice #musical beetlejuice #asks game #Anonymous

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exoticarmyofcrowns · 4 years

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50 questions tag~

tagged by the wonderful @flowerkth thank you, darling! 💖

what color is your hairbrush?: pink and black

name a food you never eat: uhhh basically any seafood (sorry)

are you typically too warm or too cold?: uhhh neither really but i do run pretty warm (my friends like to hug me for warmth lolol)

what were you doing 45 minutes ago?: figuring out how to style my new bangs lolol

what’s your favorite candy bar?: ohhh ummm cadbury milk chocolate or lindt

have you ever been to a professional sports game?: nah, not a big fan lol

what’s the last thing you said out loud?: something about roti lol (i was cooking with my nannie aka grandmother)

what’s your favorite ice cream?: hmm i really love coffee ice cream esp if it has chocolate chips or something 🤤

what was the last thing you had to drink?: dalgona coffee lol

do you like your wallet?: uhhh don’t have one haha

what’s the last thing you ate?: a bagel

did you buy any new clothes last weekend?: aklshfja no i’m too scared to buy any new clothes bc i haven’t been to the gym in 2 months

what’s the last sporting event you watched?: uhhhh a basketball game at uni like 2 years ago? and only bc i was in pep band

what is your favorite flavor of popcorn?: plain buttered

who’s the last person you sent a text to?: i texted my friend that pic of yoongi and jiminie bc it was so cute 🥺

ever go camping?: once, the summer after senior year of high school but it was like rv’s so idk that it counts? but we went kayaking and that was super fun!

do you take vitamins?: vitamin d cuz ya girl is deficient 🤪 (but i frequently forget to take them)

do you go to church every sunday?: not really

do you have a tan?: i mean, i’m brown so...yes?

do you prefer chinese or pizza?: oh crap um.... it really depends on my mood... i guess pizza bc there’s a REALLY good pizza joint near me and i haven’t had it in so long :(

do you drink soda through a straw?: only metal ones babyyyy

what color socks do you usually wear?: black

do you ever drive above the speed limit?: yes lol but only 5 mph over, that’s my rule

what terrifies you?: the future, mostly lmao

look to your left, what do you see?: my nearly-empty water bottle that i really should go refill bc i’m dehydrated af

what chore do you hate the most?: probs the dishes, i hate wet food

what do you think of when you hear an australian accent?: i think it sounds neat!

what’s your favorite soda?: i try not to drink too much soda but probs coca cola

do you go in fast food places or just hit the drive thru?: i never used to use the drive thru but i actually started doing it earlier before the whole miss rona thing. i still prefer physically going in though

what’s your favorite number?: 98

who’s the last person you talked to?: my nannie

favorite cut of beef?: uhhh i don’t actually know, i don’t typically eat a lot of beef

last song you listened to?: ugh! - bts

last book you read?: skeleton man (was doing a book study for children’s lit lol)

can you say the alphabet backwards?: yes i literally would sit down and just practice that when i was younger lmao

favorite day of the week?: friday or saturday

how do you like your coffee?: iced with a lot of caramel!

favorite pair of shoes?: hmmm my short combat boots that i got from walmart OR my black flats (good for when i sub at schools)

time you normally get up?: i have an alarm set every weekday for 7:15 but sometimes i ignore it lolol so usually like 8:30ish

sunrise or sunsets?: sunsets

how many blankets on your bed?: two if my comforter counts

describe your kitchen plates?: white with a thin, navy blue border

describe your kitchen at the moment?: a little messy bc my nannie and i just made roti lol

do you have a favorite alcoholic drink?: amaretto sour!

do you play cards?: not typically but i’ve been playing a lot of solitaire recently lmfao i also looove spit

what color is your car?: piper is red (yes her name is piper she’s my baby okay)

can you change a tire?: HAHAHHAHAHA

your favorite state/province/county/city etc.?: umm i’ve never really thought about it before... i guess i really enjoy boston!

favorite job you’ve had?: my current job as a substitute! (although technically unemployed bc no school = no work for me)

how did you get your biggest scar?: my most prominent one is one on my ankle and i got it from tripping over the stones that were around my pool when i was like 3. it kinda looks like a trident, which i always thought was very funny

whew! that was fun! thank you for the tag, natalie~ 😙💕

tagging: @vante-love @sugaerie @suhmayzooka @kookswife @memeofthesoul @bitoftaewithsugaandkookie @namugguk @hopefish15 @crybabyjk @sunshope @heavyinmyarms @mystically-mysterious @cliffordbuttcheek @sweetpeajeon @dreamerxfimprobabledreams @chunghamor (as always, don’t feel obligated to do it!)

#tagged #asha.txt #moots 🌸

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shikitsune · 4 years

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50 Questions You’ve Never Been Asked

I was tagged by @yuiaka Thank you so much! 💕

1. What is the color of your hairbrush?: Pink

2. Name a food you never eat?: This one’s difficult cause I’m really not picky. There are certain foods like paprika and raisins that I avoid eating but I usually don’t go out of my way to pick them out if they’re in my food

3. Are you typically too warm or too cold?: Recently, COLD

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago?: I was probably.. Either on discord or studying for exams.

5. What is your favorite candy bar?: Hmmmmm.. I’d say Geisha or Kismet (both Finnish chocolate bars)

6. Have you ever been to a professional sports event?: Yeah, I’ve been in a few ice hockey matches.

7. What is the last thing you said out loud?: "Mee pusu syömää~” to my dog, trying to encourage her to eat.

8. What is your favorite ice cream?: Ben&Jerry’s no doubt. The ones with lots of caramel are the best!

9. What was the last thing you had to drink?: Uhhh probably water

10. Do you like your wallet?: Yeah, I do. It’s a bootleg Michael Kors wallet I got as a gift lol

11. What was the last thing you ate?: Rice and spicy sauce with chicken! Home made, I was kinda proud of it lol

12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend?: Nope

13. The last sporting event you watched?: I don’t really watch them.. Maybe when ice hockey world championships were going on I watched some of Finland’s matches?

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?: Butter

15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to?: I’m currently texting with my friend on Discord

16. Ever go camping?: I mean I have been at a summer camp? But I haven’t gone into the woods with like a tent and stuff. We once did that in my friend’s backyard tho grhdthetd

17. Do you take vitamins?: I try to remember take vitamin D every day but I... usually forget

18. Do you go to church every Sunday?: Nah

19. Do you have a tan?: Nope

20. Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza?: Both are good but right now I’m craving... Pizza!

21. Do you drink your soda with a straw?: Only if I have lipstick on

22. What color socks do you usually wear?: It varies so much lol

23. Do you ever drive above the speed limit?: I don’t have a driver’s license lol But I have been in the car when my stepdad is speeding countless times so that’s nice :)

24. What terrifies you?: uhhhhh it’s actually something very personal and deep rooted that I would rather not talk about as of now at least

25. Look to your left, what do you see?: My phone and a remote control

26. What chore do you hate?: dusting

27. What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent?: ahhhh I’m sorry if it offends anybody but when I hear an Australian accent I can only think of kangaroos 🙈

28. What’s your favorite soda?: Probably.. Coca Cola or Moomin soda!

29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thrus?: I prefer going in but I’m not against going to a drive through either

30. Who’s the last person you talked to?: On the internet, my friend. In real life, my dog lol

31. Favorite cut of beef?: The what now?

32. Last song you listened to?: It was some Hatsune Miku song that I came across on Tumblr today

33. Last book you read?: I think it was... The magicians by Lev Grossman

34. Favorite day of the week?: Saturdayyyyy

35. Can you say the alphabet backwards?: I think I could if I concentrated?

36. How do you like your coffee?: Oversweetened and preferably caramelized

37. Favorite pair of shoes?: Uhhhh I guess my high heeled boots

38. The time you normally go to sleep?: ........2am nowadays.... gosh

39. The time you normally get up?: 10am usually

40. What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets?: Sunsets

41. How many blankets on your bed?: Two

42. Describe your kitchen plates: Most of them are pink and belong to the same series

43. Do you have a favorite alcoholic beverage?: I like cocktailssss and vodka shots

44. Do you play cards?: Sometimes with certain people

45. What color is your car?: I don’t have a car but my stepdad’s is white

46. Can you change a tire?: Nope

47. Your favorite province?: I honestly don’t know lol I live in Uusimaa but I haven’t had any experience living elsewhere so I can’t really compare

48. Favorite job you’ve ever had?: Hmmmmmm.. Maybe when I was at a subway car maintenance station? That was pretty chill

49. How did you get your biggest scar?: I don’t have many scars and the ones I do have are small. But I guess the biggest incident that left a scar was when I was little and this boy threw a branch at my face and it struck my eye really hard. At first I just thought I had a black eye but when I looked at my hands they were all bloody and I realized my eye was bleeding. The wound on my eyelid looked really nasty for a while and I had to wear an eyepatch but it healed completely and only left a small mark that you don’t see unless you inspect reaaaaaaally closely.

50. What did you do today that made someone else happy?: I told my friend how much he means to me and that made him really happy!

I tag: @yukinyaminyato @stealthgrass @mbejus @beananium @wicked-game-black-butler @rednite-dork

As always, no need to do this if you don’t feel like it! And if you’d like me to stop tagging you, tell me and I won’t tag you ^^ Peace 💖✌

#tag #tagged #yuiaka #about me

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quirkle2 · 4 years

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50 Questions You’ve Never Been Asked

Tagged by the wonderful @citrusveins!

1. What is the color of your hairbrush?: Black.

2. Name a food you never eat?: Tacos. Unpopular opinion, but those suckers ain’t good.

3. Are you typically too warm or too cold?: Too cold, usually.

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago?: Laying in bed like the lazy shit I am.

5. What is your favorite candy bar?: Uhhhh Twix??? maybe??

6. Have you ever been to a professional sports event?: My school took us on a field trip to an Orioles game once. Had no fuckin’ clue what was goin’ on, but at least I got some Dippin’ Dots.

7. What is the last thing you said out loud?: Uhhhh I think ily to my mom??

8. What is your favorite ice cream?: Vanilla! I’m a basic bitch.

9. What was the last thing you had to drink?: Tea!

10. Do you like your wallet?: Yeah, sure. It ain’t fancy, but it gets the job done.

11. What was the last thing you ate?: Some Tai Pei chicken fried rice. Shit’s good.

12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend?: I bought a shirt from Hollister that was on sale.

13. The last sporting event you watched?: Some random ass football game that my dad had on TV.

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?: I’m not a huge fan of popcorn (now you’ve met two people, Citrus!) but like... flavor?? I just like it with butter and salt? idk

15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to?: My best friend.

16. Ever go camping?: It’s been a bit, but yeah!

17. Do you take vitamins?: I have those stupid fucking Flintstones gummies on my counter and i always forget to take them

18. Do you go to church every Sunday?: I went to church once when I was a kid because some friend of my moms was involved in it and my mom was like “hey maybe we’ll go to this” and I hated it and she hated it we were like “yeah maybe not.” Just not my cup o’ tea.

19. Do you have a tan?: Hell no.

20. Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza?: Uhhhhh oh nooooo pizza I guess.

21. Do you drink your soda with a straw?: Nah.

22. What color socks do you usually wear?: White.

23. Do you ever drive above the speed limit?: I don’t know how to drive yet. :(

24. What terrifies you?: The ocean. Being abandoned. Police. Cows- those fuckers are huge.

25. Look to your left, what do you see?: My phone and my journal.

26. What chore do you hate?: My mom has me make tea when we’re low and i never know when it’s fuckin done i’m bad at cooking okay don’t judge me

27. What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent?: "u wanna fuckin’ go m8″

28. What’s your favorite soda?: Pepsi! Or RC.

29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thrus?: Drive-thrus unless we’re not really in a rush.

30. Who’s the last person you talked to?: My mom!

31. Favorite cut of beef?: Uhhhh what does this mean help i’m dumb

32. Last song you listened to?: Take What You Want by Post Malone.

33. Last book you read?: Uhh I think it was the first Percy Jackson book?? I bought the whole series recently because I wanted to see all that I apparently missed but I just stopped reading it for some reason.

34. Favorite day of the week?: Saturday!

35. Can you say the alphabet backwards?: I just tried an’ i shit you not i got two letters in

36. How do you like your coffee?: I don’t like coffee but I wish I did?? It always smells so good so I try some of it and it’s always nasty no matter what I put in it.

37. Favorite pair of shoes?: My yellow converse!

38. The time you normally go to sleep?: Around 9 because I’m a grandma.

39. The time you normally get up?: I usually wake up at 8 naturally.

40. What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets?: Sunrise. I feel like sunsets have a sort of bittersweetness to them because when I see them I’m usually outdoors having a good day and seeing a sunset just kinda reminds you that you have to go home and sleep soon and you don’t want to.

41. How many blankets on your bed?: One!

42. Describe your kitchen plates: Uhh they’re all weird and mismatched. We have a really old one that my dad apparently ate off of when he was a kid. It’s got strawberries on it and it’s all faded and old looking.

43. Do you have a favorite alcoholic beverage?: Haven’t tried a lot because I am but a wee child but so far I really like the moonshine that my dad’s coworker makes (i was pleasantly surprised when i could barely taste the alcohol), and uhhh i think like irish cream or something?

44. Do you play cards?: Not unless my meemaw whips out some uno and she’s ready to destroy relationships.

45. What color is your car?: I don’t have a car but we’ve got a grey-ish boi and a piece o shit white truck.

46. Can you change a tire?: haha nope.

47. Your favorite province?: Like... in Japan? what are we talkin’ about here-

48. Favorite job you’ve ever had?: *cough* i don’t yet have a job *cough*

49. How did you get your biggest scar?: Uhhh i don’t really have a lot scars... I’ve got a really faded burn mark on my arm from when I was little. I got it when my brother was being a doofus and making me laugh and I was standing next to the stove and I kinda leaned against it a little cause I didn’t really notice i was next to it.

50. What did you do today that made someone else happy?: idk man it’s like 10 am i haven’t done shit today.

Uhhh idk who to tag- if you wanna do this then don’t be shy! :D

#i always love these things #i love talking about myself because i'm a piece of shit #not bnha #ask game

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morpekoed · 4 years

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HOW I RUN MY BLOG

SPEED: fluctuates on my mood. I’m relatively fast? like usually same day reply fast. sometimes it takes me a few days. Given with how Marn is not gonna be relatively active, it’ll probably be on the slow side -- or when i find the mood for her. She was made for a friend! Response time for DMs? Depends on if I’m online. As said in my rules, I am more active on link. You need to contact me and need a response? Find me there. I try to get to OOC responses in a timely matter though. Just know though that I am a tired bean -- so speed here is ????

REPLIES: uhhhh. I’ll draft them here. and then... probably forget about them. Asks are better than replies. ut I can’t promise anything. I tend to push them out as soon as possible. Oh, I also need to find time to sit and write a response. I do it all in one sitting. I do not let things fester. Quality wise though? I am dyslexic. I mispell stuff. I am sorry, i try to catch it but i am not perfect. Also, as said in rules, my prose is... constantly changing... I also format too! It helps out with my mistakes. I have a brit keyboard though so my spelling may seem weird to ya! Please though if you cannot understand something, let me know. Writing is a hobby. it is not a chore or a job for me. if it was, i would have been a journalist or gone to be a lawyer with my degrees! but i don’t so this is fun for me.

STARTERS: go ahead, like any calls i make. even if you liked one one the past. i can keep multiple threads/interactions going. you don’t like what i made for you? DM me. i do not bite for my size. i am literally a squishy pillow. normally though i do not message people though to ask for starters or how to start them unless i dont know how to start them. mainly because i am not going to go to people. i expect you to come to me. i STRONGLY reccomend you do so because i have left my do wide open.

INBOX: inbox is absolutely open to anybody! you want to send an ask about Marnie? I love those HC asks. please. I don’t care about them. IC asks though? those are for mutuals unfortunately. But that doesn’t mean that you aren’t allowed to talk to me about stuff. I love any ask that comes my way. too scared? I have anon on for a reason. by all means you do you though.

SELECTIVITY: i say it to y’all straight. im EXTREMELY private && selective. i am not about to get screwed over again. I like my slow dash. Also if we don’t talk for the first time in a few months, then im softblocking/unfollowing. i am not a number for you && this blog is for freinds only. Sorry but i don’t have time to make everybody happy this blog is a safe place for me -- by the gods i will make this a safe place for me. i dont need stress.

WISHLIST: for marnie? Oh I have so many!! I would love interactions with her brother! she loves her brother! I spoke with a couple of friends and well... Marn calls Bede pixie boy. And yes, she will punch him for Hop. ( im still laughing so hard from the fact that hop would be there cheering for her ) No really, she gets a Bisharp to deal with Bede’s team. Speaking of Hop though. I would love some interactions with him. The good, wholesome interactions. Marnie && protags?? give me. Really though. my all time thing though is Marnie’s relationship with Piers. I have such wonderful HCs with these siblings. It will always be spikemuth sibling loving hours every hour.

HONEST NOTE: I’m honestly leaving what i wrote on my original post because it’s honestly a mood for me. and i don’t care.

if you think im an elitist, then find your way out of the door – youre probably right and i dont want you here. ive been here for a really long time && i know what i want. all jokes aside though, im tired of people being intimidated by me for different reasons. some people think its my aesthetic ( when really im not that bad ). others are intimidated by the sheer amount of writing i do? like okay?? kindly fuck off please. i write for stress relief. i write to have fun. my idea of fun is writing a lot. if you have a problem with that then sorry but i dont want you here. i have a passion for my muses and if you dont want to hear it, then i dont have time for your complaining. theres an unfollow button. i have a journalism degree so… yea. but really. im just really tired okay. im actually a very sweet person and i wear my heart on my sleeve. anybody who knows me well enough can tell you that. i hate being ignored tbh, so if i find energy && time to like talk to you, at least acknowledge me by saying thank you. btw im not really that much of an an elitist – i just LOOK like i have a hard shell, but im actually super soft and squishy.

Tagged by: nobody I took it from my link blog to help y’all out. See my original post. Tagging: nobody because I am a heathen && a fool.

BONUS: adding my tags from my other post cause they pertain to this blog.

This has been a PSA. Hope this helps you.

#ooc tag.#psa tag.#long post.#[ in case anybody wishes to know ]#[ if i intimidate you i am sorry ]#[ please don't i am just ....#REALLY tired fam ]#[ yes i put a link icon beause i have no marnie icons ]

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teacoffeeandwhatnot · 6 years

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The Gay Agenda - Chapter 3

Whooo Chapter 3! Its Chanhun week.

Please keep in mind, sentences written in Italic is what is being said by the panel, or people in the studio. Normal text is what is happening otherwise.

As always, also available on my Ao3!

(if you want me to tag you every time i update, please dont hesitate to message me and I’ll add it in the next chapter)

Honestly, Sehun felt a little bit pathetic. He’s had this massive crush on Chanyeol for about 3 years now, ever since the older had almost knocked him over at the orientation fair in his first year at university. Chanyeol had been walking backwards, animatedly talking to his friends, when he had tripped over his own feet and promptly toppled into Sehun. Sehun was ready to yell, already being on edge from having to adjust to the new environment and not really knowing anyone yet, but when he turned to face Chanyeol, he was startled into silence.

Chanyeol had been an odd mix of jock, with his tall stature and defined (so, so well defined) biceps and an overgrown puppy, with his soft face, big dumbo ears and doe eyes. Sehun was immediately infatuated with the older.

His infatuation grew into a full-on crush when he saw Chanyeol perform for the first time in the university’s talent competition. He had sung with his velvety smooth voice, whilst expertly playing the guitar, and Sehun was convinced he was In LoveTM.

But that was 3 years ago. Since then, Sehun had pined from a distance, treasuring every single little interaction he had with the older. Chanyeol had remembered him and sent him small smiles or waves whenever they crossed paths on campus, but they never had a proper conversation.

Sehun told himself that he would finally get over it and gather the nerve to just go up to Chanyeol and strike up a conversation with him, but chickened out every single time

So, when he saw the flyer to the show, it was pretty much a “fuck it” decision. Maybe this would be the perfect opportunity for him to get over Chanyeol, maybe meet someone new and mayyyybe even win a bit of money, which, being a university student, couldn’t hurt. (He knew deep down though, that it would never be that easy to forget about Chanyeol.)

Sehun decided to work in the costume store during the show. One, he loved costumes and since it was close to Halloween, it would probably never boring. Two, he loved to judge people for their terrible costume choices.

He had met his manager, a dismissive, pudgy middle-aged man, who actually worked there, but, for some reason that was escaping Sehun, he agreed to let the show put someone in his store. The man really didn’t seem like he’d be someone who would put up with something like that and Sehun mentally noted to not piss the man off.

His co-workers were a lot nicer, a lot of them around his age, seeming to be students or high schoolers, working part time. He was glad that there were some nice people, considering he didn’t really know anything about the store and was glad that there would be someone to help. Overall, his job was pretty easy. Keep the racks and shelves looking clean, help customers find items when they needed help, and clean out the changing rooms, should someone leave items in it. Of course, Sehun was doing all of these things pretty half-heartedly, considering he was there for another reason.

“So, our second contestant, let’s see who this is,” said Holland, ruffling through a file.

“Oh Sehun, 24, currently a dance student in his 3rd year. Applied to, I quote ‘get over this pathetic crush I’ve been harbouring for this dude at my uni for way too long’,” he read aloud.

“Well sounds like Sehun is using this opportunity as a crush-be-gone mechanism,” Heechul mentioned.

“Precisely.”

“Well guys, how do we think he’s going to do,” Holland prompted.

“Well, he chose a costume store, which can be quite good, since the atmosphere is very relaxed and there’s a good opportunity to have a laid back, funny conversation with someone, so I don’t think he will be lacking in that department,” said Taemin.

Key chimed in, “I wish we could know what this crush of his looks like, because I want to see if he is going to go for someone that’s similar to him, or completely different.”

“I just hope some actual person his age will be there in the store at some point, because so far I’ve only seen parents or children, and I really hope he doesn’t hit on either, because that would just be….creepy”

“Yah, Daehwi, have some respect for your elders, I think he knows what he’s doing!”, Heechul scolded.

“Well let’s fucking hope so.” Daehwi mumbled under his breath.

He was bored. There was only so many snotty teenagers that he could help find the most ridiculous costumes for, some of which he had no idea what they even were (what the fuck was “bongocat”??). He had severely overestimated how many hot, grown men would be visiting the store, which looking back, was a stupid thought to begin with. The only adults that he had seen in the store so far, other than the staff, were tired parents accompanying their overly excitable children. Which….should’ve really been the realistic expectation Sehun should’ve set for himself.

He ended up loitering around the back of the store, trying to hide from his manager and not doing any real work. He even sneakily tried on some of the costumes, debating on whether to keep one on around the store, but realized that the boredom was making him slightly delusional and his normal clothes, which he had very carefully picked out that morning, and made sure to not clash with his silver hair, were definitely the better choice,

All of a sudden, his co-worker, Joy, a bright, tall, beautiful (seriously, if Sehun had a single straight bone in his body, he’d be all over that) walked by hastily, hissing “hottie in aisle 3, all yours” in his direction.

Him and Joy had bonded quickly that morning, both for distaste in their manager and the fact that Joy was super excited to have another gay person with her in the store, if only for one day. They had spent their whole morning break getting to know each other, and even if Sehun failed on the show today, at least he would walk away with a new, totally awesome friend.

Sehun perked up at the news of the “hottie” and made his way to the aisle…where he promptly turned around and hid behind the shelf. Shit. In the aisle, right in-front of the full-body, skin-tight (fuck) costumes, was Chanyeol, of all fucking people.

Chanyeol being here was already bad enough, but on top of that, he had apparently died his hair over the weekend because, instead of the soft, fluffy brown hair he usually had, his hair was bright red and styled off his face, which….. dear lord. It looked so fucking good. His outfit didn’t help either. He was wearing a dark jean jacket over a flannel and t-shirt, paired with tight skinny jeans.

Sehun willed his breathing to calm down and wracked his brain on what to do. Obviously, this was the perfect opportunity to talk to Chanyeol, but the rules of the show were to find someone that he didn’t already know.

He eventually decided to walk up to Chanyeol.

“Sir, can I help you with something?”

When Chanyeol turned around and his face indicated that he recognized Sehun, the latter quickly lowered his voice and whispered, “Just act like you don’t know me, I’ll explain later!”

Chanyeol looked confused for a second, before apparently deciding to play along (thank god), since he continued, “Hi, yes, I’m looking for a costume for this Halloween party I’m going to.”

“Certainly, Sir, do you have anything specific in mind?”

“I was thinking Deadpool.”

“Good choice, Sir. If you would follow me, that would be in our superhero aisle.”

Chanyeol trailed after him, immediately tugging on Sehun’s heartstrings, since he looked like a lost puppy.

“Is this something along the lines of what you were thinking?”, Sehun asked, holding up a body suit printed with the Deadpool costume. Chanyeol’s eyes lit up, and he started nodding cutely.

“Ok, great. What size would you like so I can find it for you?”

“Uhhhh, I’m not sure to be honest,” Chanyeol replied, sheepishly.

“Can I ask how tall you are? Then I can estimate what size would fit you from there.”

“Oh, sure. I’m 6’5.” (Sehun groaned inwardly. Fuck.)

“Ok, let me just check.” He started rifling through the costumes before letting out a small “aha” and holding up two suits.

“So, I picked up two options, since you don’t know your size. I suggest you just try them both on and see which one fits best.”

Chanyeol nodded once again.

“The changing rooms are right over there. Would you like me to accompany you to the changing rooms, in case you need anything else?” (Sehun knew that he was laying it on a little thick, and that the store’s customer service was never this good, but he could honestly not care less at this point.)

“Oh yeah sure, Se-Sir.” Sehun grimaced at Chanyeol slipping up and almost calling him his name, but also felt a slight blush spreading on his cheeks at the cheeky grin Chanyeol sent his way.

Sehun made his way towards the changing rooms, held the curtain back on one of the stalls and handed Chanyeol the costumes while he entered.

“I’ll be waiting right over there,” Sehun pointed towards a counter basically across from Chanyeol’s booth, “so give me a shout if you need anything. “

Chanyeol gave the Ok and closed the curtain. Well, closed was an overstatement. Although he did pull the curtain across the rail, he didn’t pull it all the way and Sehun was still able to see his back through the slit. He had a small internal battle, debating whether he should let Chanyeol know, but ultimately decide to just not look….which proved very difficult about 0.2 seconds later when Chanyeol took his shirt off and Sehun had the exquisite view of his muscly back. Fuck, that man was well built. Sehun really, honestly, tried to tear away his gaze and stop ogling, but he couldn’t. I mean, let’s be honest, how could he? Here he was, with the perfect view of his shirtless crush of almost 4 year in from of him, and he was supposed to look away? Seems unrealistic.

Apparently, Sehun had kind of zoned out for a moment, because all of a sudden, Chanyeol turned around to walk out with his costume on and Sehun was definitely caught staring. Immediately, he felt his face go bright red and he tried to clear his throat awkwardly.

Luckily Chanyeol only smirked at him, which didn’t really make the situation much better for Sehun, but at least he wasn’t mad or disgusted.

Sehun tried to slip into his professional store clerk persona again.

“How does it fit, Sir? Everything all right?”

“I don’t know, what do you think?”

Sehun had to really pull himself together to not blurt out anything embarrassing about how he wanted to climb Chanyeol like a tree right then and there, and how the tight costume make his arms look delicious, and many other, NSFW thoughts. He eventually settled on, “Looks good to me.” Good one, Sehun.

“Mhh, I don’t know, it seems a little loose in some areas. This is the bigger one, I’ll go try on the smaller one just to see.”

Sehun was honestly in pain. How was he supposed to survive seeing Chanyeol in an even tighter costume than the one he had already been wearing. The man was really just here to torture him. Sehun hoped the floor would open up to swallow him and just take him directly to hell, since that would be more merciful, but without avail.

Sehun didn’t notice Chanyeol re-emerge out of the changing room due to his breakdown until he heard a throat being cleared and his head snapped up. He promptly choked on his own spit and was coughing up half a lung with tears streaming down his face, mortified at the fact that Chanyeol came rushing over to clap him on the back with a worried look on his face.

“Oh my god, are you ok? What happened?”

“No-nothing…. I just…uh… inhaled wrong…” Way to go Sehun, solid excuse.

He batted away Chanyeol’s hands, insisting he was fine. Chanyeol slowly moved back, but still adorned the worried look on his face.

“If you say so…”

“Ok, ok, I’m good now, sorry for that. How does this one fit, better than the other one?”

“Yeah a lot better, thank you,” Chanyeol turned to him once again, smiling his megawatt smile that made Sehun feel all warm inside.

Suddenly, it dawned on him. Being around Chanyeol had made him totally forget the point of the show. He was SUPPOSED to find someone to flirt with. Sure, it was risky, since he didn’t know if Chanyeol was going to respond in a good way, and he really didn’t want to ruin whatever small tiny good thing they had going, but then again, if it didn’t go well, he could always explain later and lie, saying it was all for the show.

“Well, if I may say so, it definitely extenuates all the right elements of your body,” he tried to say without feeling incredibly awkward about it. Now it was Chanyeol’s turn to turn beet red. He awkwardly laughed and looked extremely flustered.

Sehun thought fuck it and decided to just go for all in. Might as fucking well.

He walked over to Chanyeol, who was standing in front of a full body mirror just outside the changing rooms. He stood behind him, making eye contact with Chanyeol through the mirror. Slowly he started running his hands up and down Chanyeol’s (realllly well defined) arms.

“Yeah, it makes your arms look really nice,” he whispered directly into Chanyeol’s ear in a sultry tone. Luckily, even though he still looked flustered, Chanyeol didn’t seem to pull away or look weirded out.

“Ohhhhhh, my boy is finally stepping it up!”, Heechul screeched, “I was getting a little worried about him there. Hot muscly dork, I like his taste”.

“He definitely chose well, I approve,” Key agreed.

Sehun slowly started to relax and become more confident, and he was very much enjoying that he was able to make Chanyeol look so flustered. It was cute.

He stayed close to Chanyeol for another few seconds, making sure that Chanyeol definitely saw him rake his eyes down his entire body while biting his lip and keeping his mouth near his neck, so that he could feel the hot breath on his skin.

Sehun felt validated when he felt the small shiver run down Chanyeol’s body and his cheeks become even more dusty pink.

Eventually he stepped back. Chanyeol turned around to stare at him, eyes blown and mouth hanging slightly open.

Sehun ran his finger down the front of Chanyeol’s costume, across his chest.

“How about you get out of that costume, and I’ll treat you to a drink?”, Sehun asked.

“Uh…sure… what about your job?”

“Oh, they’ll understand that I can’t let this opportunity pass me by, don’t worry your pretty little head.”

He heard Chanyeol mumble a startled “pretty?” under his breath and luckily managed to suppress the little chuckle bubbling up.

“Wait, opportunity? What opportunity?”

Sehun invaded his space once again, placing his hands on each of Chanyeol’s shoulders and standing up on his tip toes, so he was able to whisper right into Chanyeol’s ear.

“To go on a date with the hottest guy I’ve ever seen and have had a crush on for like 3 years now.”

When he stepped back again, Chanyeol was once again staring at him with his mouth hanging open.

“Wait, you’ve had a cru-“, Sehun panicked and quickly put his hand over Chanyeol’s mouth to stop him from exposing the fact that they knew each other. Chanyeol squeaked in surprise.

Sehun got close again and hissed at him, “Shhh, don’t say that out loud! Let’s just get out of here and I’ll tell you why, I promise.”

Sehun looked into Chanyeol’s eyes, to make sure he understood. Chanyeol nodded and promptly licked Sehun’s hand, which made him pull back in disgust. Chanyeol chuckled and smirked at him again, which threw Sehun for a loop. He wasn’t ready for confident Chanyeol to be back, he didn’t know how to deal with that.

He breathed a breath he didn’t realized he’d been holding in when Chanyeol got back into the changing room, fortunately (unfortunately? Who knew) actually pulling the curtain completely closed this time.

Sehun slumped over the counter he was standing near, mumbling a quick, “what the fuck am I doing?” under his breath.

He startled back upright when he heard the curtain pull back and awkwardly tried to make it look like he was casually leaning against the counter, which apparently didn’t work, considering the laugh Chanyeol let out when he saw him.

“Ok, but before we go, I do actually still want to buy this.”

“Ah yes, well that’s great, let me ring them up for you.”

Sehun walked to the till and rang up the costume for Chanyeol. He startled when he realized how much the costume was. Holy shit, he didn’t know it would be that expensive.

“Uh yes, that’ll be 300$.” Quieter, he said, “holy shit, are you sure you can afford that?”

In lieu of answering, Chanyeol simply smirked, whipped out his wallet and took out a black credit card. Holy shit.

Sehun looked from the card to Chanyeol’s face, with wide eyes and his mouth hanging open. Ok, wow, he hadn’t known that Chanyeol was apparently filthy rich. Maybe he’ll even get a sugar daddy out of this whole experience. What a day.

He packed up the costume in a paper bag while Chanyeol was paying and set it on the counter. He then quickly looked for Joy, who was near the front of the store and definitely trying to look like she wasn’t eavesdropping, even though she definitely was. Sehun caught her eye and rolled his. She at least had the decency to look just a little bit embarrassed at being caught.

He waited for Chanyeol to pack away his wallet again, and then made his way to the entrance with him.

“Hey Joy, I’m gonna go take my break I’ll be back…at some point”, he yelled in her direction while trying to get past her as quick as possible, fearing she would say something embarrassing.

He really hoped that Chanyeol didn’t hear her “Yeah, my man! Go get some!!” as they were leaving the store. He threw up a middle finger over his shoulder for good measure.

As soon as they stepped out of the store, he pulled Chanyeol into a small hallway away from the main store pathway. He rummaged around the back of his shirt until he found the mic pack and switched it off.

He looked up to see a slightly bewildered look on Chanyeol’s face.

“Wait, why the fuck are you mic-ed? Oh my God, is this an undercover mission? Are you working with the police? Wait, what did I do? I’m not a criminal!”

Sehun was silent for a second, before he burst out laughing as Chanyeol became more and more panicked. He couldn’t stop and every time he looked at Chanyeol’s confused face he had to laugh more. Eventually, after about 5 minutes he managed to catch himself.

“No, dummy, I’m on a TV show! Oh my God, you really thought I was an undercover cop? This is gold,” Sehun explained through his laughs and while whipping his tears away. “it’s an undercover kind of TV show, that’s why the mic was hidden.”

“Well excuse me for assuming, what else was I supposed to think?”

“Are you a criminal?”

“No, of course not, what the fuck Sehun?”

“Well then why on earth would you assume that I was a cop??”

“What the hell was I supposed to think? You tell me to act like you don’t know me and then you pull me into some sketchy hallway and then you pull out a fucking secret wire? Like literally what other conclusion was I supposed to arrive at??? What TV show is this for anyways?”

Now it was Sehun’s turn to look embarrassed, “It doesn’t really matter.”

Chanyeol immediately had an evil grin on his face. “Well now I definitely want to know”

“It’s really not that important lets just g-“

“I’m not going anywhere until you tell me”

Sehun looked to see if he could get away, but apparently Chanyeol had foreseen what he was trying to do and stood between Sehun and the way back to the main part of the shopping centre. There was no way Sehun would be able to get passed Chanyeol, considering he was taller and definitely stronger than him.

Sehun slumped his shoulders and looked the floor.

“Fine,” he mumbled. “It’s called ‘The Gay Agenda’.”

“The what?”

“The Gay Agenda,” Sehun repeated, possibly even quieter than before.

“I really need you to speak up.”

Sehun finally accepted his fate.

“Fine, ok? Its called ‘The Gay Agenda’ and I was supposed to find some guy and seduce him, but then you walked in and I get if you’re not into it and I’m sorry and if you never want to talk to me again I totally unders-“

His heated rant was suddenly cut off by him being pushed against the wall and warm lips being pressed to his own.

His eyes went wide, and he was frozen in shock for a second before he realized holy shit, Chanyeol was kissing him. This was actually happening. He quickly relaxed into the kiss, closed his eyes and reciprocated.

He didn’t know for how long they ended up kissing. At some point his arms snaked around Chanyeol’s neck as Chanyeol pulled him closer by his waist. He licked across Chanyeol’s bottom lip, asking for entry and when their tongues met, it was like he was dunked into a hot tub. His entire body felt warm and like this was the best thing he had ever done in his entire life. He couldn’t help but moan into the kiss.

Chanyeol eventually pulled back and put his forehead against Sehun’s. They were both breathing hard, but neither let go.

“So, uh, I take it you didn’t mind?” Sehun asked awkwardly, breaking the silence.

Chanyeol let out a laugh, stroking his lower back, his arms still around Sehun’s middle.

“No, you idiot, I’ve liked you for like 3 years, this is like a dream come true for me.”

“3 years?” Sehun was shocked.

“Yeah, ever since I bumped into you at that fair. I’d always hoped that you would come up and talk to me when we saw each other on campus, because I sure as hell wasn’t going to do it. I’m so fucking awkward.”

“SERIOUSLY? I’d always hoped that you would come talk to me!! I never did because I thought you didn’t like me and were just too nice to not say hi when you saw me!”

Chanyeol chuckled, pecking Sehun on the lips again.

“We’re both idiots, I guess.”

Sehun couldn’t help but agree. He pulled Chanyeol into another kiss, still not believing that this was actually happening. He could do this forever.

“So, what about that drink you said you’d buy me?” Chanyeol eventually asked, when both their lips were swollen and red, and they couldn’t continue because they were getting dangerously close to “not public appropriate” territory.

Sehun was still kind of disoriented and out of breath. “What?”

“Well you said earlier that you would buy me a drink, so I want that drink now. I guess you could say that I’m thirsty.” Sehun smacked him in the chest lightly at the terrible pun and wink, but still slid his hand into Chanyeol’s and made his way back to the stores.

He couldn’t believe that he had started the day, determined to get over Chanyeol and ended up, hand in hand with him, after probably the best make-out session he had had in his entire life. He couldn’t believe his luck.

“You know, I really enjoyed it when you called me Sir earlier.” “Oh my God, we’re not even together yet and I’m breaking up with you.”

Pt. 2

#bts #suju #shinee #wanna one #stray kids #seventeen #nct #exo #nuest #got7 #monsta x #history #day6 #teacoffeeandwhatnot #the gay agenda au

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