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childhoodgrave · 4 years

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whats dtl about ifff ud like 2 talk abt it i see cute sprites & decide i wanna know things.. hehe the top hat n cape guy gif is in sync w my music hehe

IM SO GLAD U ASKED this game is probsbly my favorite game ever its been a special interest if mine since i was 7 and i dont think its a GOOD game per se bt i love it a lot and it impacted me a lot as a little kid w a mild interest in art :)

so basically the game is a little 2d adventure platformer where u get to draw and design the character u play as. its p clunky and the way ur character moves looks rlly silly bt again this game was released in like 2010 on the ds so its ok .. the game also gave u templates to go off of and use too just in case u didnt want to design a character from scratch

the story of the first game is abt this world that was drawn into existence by “the creator” in the book of life. u hav this little sequence where u get to draw the world, and the forrests and the creatures tht wld inhabit it. the creatures tht inhabit the world are callec raposa and they r little fox creature w funny ears :)

like this guy (his name is zsasha and hes a thief but hes like a bad one who ends up returning all of the stuff he steals and also watching over a little orphan girl who he basically adopts LOL)

in the universe if the game the “creator” eventually went silent and the raposa lost hope in them ever returning. the world was slowly shrouded in darkness and gradually all of the raposa inhabiting this little village were either lost or left on purpose bc it was slowly falling apart. the game starts when one of the remaining raposa, mari, prays to u, the creator, to come back and help restore her village, saying that everyone else has lost hope but she still believes you can return to her. u can answer, and either say that u will help or you wont, but either way u end up agreeing to help her and she goes to tell her dad, the mayor, abt it. you create a “hero” to be the vessel you will speak thru, and thats the character u end up designing and playing as. the game is abt going to various areas from the village and rescuing all of the raposa that are lost there, as well as restoring the village to what it used to be and drawing in bits of the landscape, like the sun and plants and stuff.

the villain of the story is a guy named wilfre, who was another villager in the town who ended up drawing in the book of life bc he wanted to create things the way the creator had. he ended up making these big inky monsters and got consumed by them, and when u meet him at the beginning of the game he tears up a bunch of pages in the book of life which get scattered across the land and you have to collect them in order to restore the village.

so u basically just go around saving villagers, collecting pages of the book of life, and redrawing bits of the town that were lost to wilfres shadows. eventually wilfre ends up like, killing maris dad (the mayor) and then after youve restored a majority of the village you enter his realm and kill him!! yay :)

throughout the game you also meet these two weird npcs called heather and mike. heather is a little raposa girl who has half of her face covered in shadows, and shes mostly mute. shes found early on in the game and is taken care of by another one of the main characters named jowee

mike is a character u end up rescuing later on in the game, hes p confused and doesnt know how he got where he is, and hes also different from the other raposa bc he doesnt have ears like they do and kind of just looks like a normal human (even tho none of the raposa know what that is and they just think he looks rlly weird)

in the first game heather is shown to take a liking to mike but it isnt explained why and she doesnt talk to its left unexplained

so yah the first game ends with you, the hero, defeating wilfre. mari takes on the role of her father and becomes mayor of the town, and all of the raposa (+ mike) live happily in the town youve restored. the hero goes dormant because theyre no longer needed and u get a scene at the end of the game w them sitting by the ghost of maris father.

the SECOND game takes place a while after the first game, in which wilfre returns and captures heather at the beginning of the game. he also kidnaps a bunch of the other villagers and transports them somewhere else, and he drains the color out of the village the raposa were in. they end up fleeing on a giant turtle with an abandoned town on its back that appears while the color is draining from the village. inside mari and jowee find another mannequin similar to the one the creator had drawn the hero on in the first game. they pray to the creator for help and thats when u draw the hero u get to play as for that game!! the hero doesnt seem to remember mari and jowee or any of the events of the first game, but they agree to help them rescue heather and all of the villagers wilfre stole.

jowee also has like, this magic pendant that belonged to heather that he found after wilfre took her, which seems to be leading them to where heather is. they use that to navigate the turtle thru the ocean to a bunch of other islands on the world. the second game is basically about traveling to different islands and helping them restore the color thats been drained out of them by wilfre. you also meet these two characters, salem

who is a villain in the first island u travel to, and sock

who is a villager on the first island u visit who ends up befriending jowee and traveling with them while they try to save heather.

so ur doing all of that but THEN, halfway thru the game mari is shown to be talking to wilfre, and then she dissapears. jowee assumes wilfre has captured her too, but shes later seen on the turtle again, and rips out a bunch of pages in the book of life the way wilfre did in the first game, and then wilfre appears to take her away and says that shes working with him now. jowee is heartbroken but resolves to get her back as well as heather

THEN, sock, jowees friend from the first island whos been tagging along and helping out, is ALSO revealed to be wilfre in disguise and he betrays jowee and steals heathers pendent, leaving jowee with basically no means of finding heather and wikfre and mari by extension.

so eventually they do end up finding where wilfre is and mari is like “jowee you dont understand wilfre has shown me the truth of our world and who the creator is and thats why im helping him” and jowee is like “i cant believe yoy are helping him how could you i cant believe you bla bla bla” and so wilfre is like “FINE ill show you the TRUTH of this world” and takes jowee and then the hero is kind of left ln their own for a bit to like wander around the world and try to keep rescuing ppl and such. and eventually jowee comes back and is like shaken up but kind of vague abt what wilfre showed him, but he still decides to side with the hero and the creator and eventually mari is convinced by him to join them again as well

so u fight wilfre again and EVENTUALLY wilfre reveals that if you defeat him basically the entire world will dissapear and thats what hes been trying to avoid by fucking w things and messing with the book of life. so all of the raposa have a bunch existential crisis abt them ceasing to exist if they go thru with this but then they decide to to it anyway bc the alternative is just as bad blah blah and u go and kill wilfre and he does this when he dies which is cool

[the gif was fuckjng broken im sorry but like look up his sprites and youll fjnd it 💔]

and now heather is back!! and her and mari and jowee are all talking about mike and how important he is and meanwhile mike has no clue whats going on and is kind of freaked out by all of this, but theyre all like “mike you need to wake up” as theyre all fading out of existence and shit around him and eventually him and heather are the only ones left and they dissapear too

and THATS when you get the ending and find out it was all like a dream mike was having while he was in a coma after a car crash anx this plays while the credits role lol https://youtu.be/Kur0qaYM1jM

youtube

^ they ended up releasing different versions oft he game w a less dark (but still w the whole ‘it was all a dream twist’) and thats it!!

there was also another game released for the wii that like gave wilfre a girlfriend kind of but i never played it to completion bc it used the wii remotes motion controls to like draw and shit and it was rly janky and hard so i never finished it and most ppl did the same. i kind of rlly want to try playing it again tho bc it was a p cute looking game even if the controls were fucked up

AND YEA thats drawn to life its a weird silly little series tht i was obsessed w when i was a kid and it still holds a special place in my heart :) i basicaly just spoiled the entire series i guess but if u have a ds or a 3ds (bc the game is backwards complatible ! ) id still suggest like getting a cartidge off ebay or something and playing it bc its honestly a rlly sweet and beautiful looking game and i think a lot of it still homds up even if the controls r rlly janky now

#theres also rumors of another game in the series being released on the switch so :)#THIS IS SOOO LONG HAHAHA IM SORRY I RLLY CARE ANT THESE GAMES #long post

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ca1e70-deactivated · 4 years

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a list of my entirely way too niche headcanons ive actually implemented for everyones imagination:

name options ive used and refuse to retire: david elizabeth strider (sometimes i dont feel like being a douche to others and saying thats not his name), harley davidson strider, and david james strider for the sake of simplicity

im not gonna tell yall the like. oc exes ive given him bc thatll take eighteen years.

i dont rlly have an explanation on the ghost thing besides the fact he just can? ive occasionally pulled from family ghost stories and experiences bc i somehow got landed with family members who lived in a haunted house for a decade and enjoy scaring me with all the stories (including the time my cousin literally died on the kitchen floor from a bronchial spasm and one of the friends that was over asked my aunt later what was up with the old man she saw in the corner of the room that night - my cousin is fine btw shes just a huge bitch and a third grade teacher and i dont like her)

whether or not hes done drugs is based on absolutely nothing besides how im feeling in that moment. either hes the designated driver and sober friend forever or he got fired from his job after doing a line at work during graveyard with some random customers theres no inbetween (this absolutely happened @ waho. if dave works at waho hes a mess of a person and thats on the diner itself.)

ok look i hc dave w/schizophrenia besides when i was 14 i had a hyperfixation with learning about it and then at 16 was prescribed a medication and had side effects so wack my therapist genuinely thought 14 yr old me was onto something and its a weird way to cope with the idea that lady put in my head that i might “develop it in my twenties” which i turn 20 this year and i havent been able to stop obsessing and panicking over the prospect so PLEASE dont come in my inbox calling me ableist im not out here all harley quinn in suicide squad with the voices ok hes medicated, he goes to therapy, the hard fast delusion that lil cal was nearly sentient and informed bro of every single thing dave did no matter how asinine it was is no longer a debilitatingly affecting him ANYWAYS

i actually use the chicken/egg farming family pretty often just because its hilarious to me to give dave like. an actual mom and dad. hes literally an uncle to like three different kids he just never visits because they make fun of his skinny jeans and he hates one of his (incredibly bare-bones ocs all of them) brothers who threatened to bash his head in with a little league bat after dave broke his star wars lego set apart on accident (but not rlly) so their parents were like “why dont you stay with your brother in the big city for a lil while champ” and then they just never picked him back up? and thats on favoritism

the other one is that his name is actually david reed and hes the middle child of a family of three who literally live the standard golden retriever white middle class life only they went to disney land or something equally as dumb one year when dave was like 6 and he wandered off so bro literally just went “huh free game” because frankly he was an idiot who thought maybe i should take this kid home because its real dangerous in parking lots and then it was too late to NOT have it seem like a kidnapping and thats why daves never had a summer job, seen his birth certificate, or gone to school. but vaguely remembers what kindergarten was like and having a pet dog and calling someone mom as a kid.

im not making a bullet point about his sex life headcanons just use your imagination and acknowledge the fact bro essentially worked within the sex industry and i enjoy putting dave through trauma as a catharsis

i stopped doing this one usually but if he did go to school hes been in percussion since fifth grade and played the drums in his high schools jazz band as well as various edgy teenager garage bands he likes to pretend dont have a youtube presence and that hes absolutely never been shirtless in front of plenty of his classmates because he wore a hoodie to a show like an idiot. idk occasionally ill put him in an actual band he doesnt hate but keeps separate from his lil turntechGodhead internet persona (which i will ALSO touch upon in a sec) until they wind up getting looped into a tour with some bigger named band that has a show in *insert beta kid here*’s city and hes gotta come clean solely so he can visit his online friend. sorry derseasterous thats the one time weve ever run into each other and i made him have a crush on one of his bandmates i was in my anti-daverose phase where i made dave a hoe and also didnt want to admit i still loved the ship all these years later

i hate it so much but you know the whole vr loli trap voice shit that was popular a while ago? hes fucking baller at it for some reason. he did it as a joke while talking to bro and they both about shat their pants. if im feeling real ambitious, hes got a separate soundcloud solely dedicated to doing dumbass rap covers or making his own but in the voice under the pseudonym elizabeth “beth” davids that he will never admit is his. well, he will, but hes gonna be really fucking embarrassed about it. irony or not.

talking abt seperate soundclouds and stuff ive always had it where turntechGodhead was his like. essentially internet fucking persona facade shit he used because we all had that phase where we wanted memorable urls and stuff but also didnt want to totally ignore the nagging fear of people finding you in real life, until it turned into real life ppl finding you on the internet. so he also has basically an adjacent set of social media under the same name but its just a boring username i havent decided on so everyone he knows irl doesnt mix up with what hes made for himself as TG and the people he knows as TG dont know what highschool he goes to. (this occasionally comes with the territory of ppl on parp being pissed that daves “lying” or “hiding things” from his friends as if he was doing it out of spite instead of just keeping embarrassing tagged photos and videos from football games or when he ate shit at the skatepark from fucking with his “rap career”)

every once in a while i get on a kick where hes just german. like, i just replace houston texas with hamburg germany and have him apply to a university in whatever state is applicable for whoever im chatting with and it goes from there? sometimes he moved when he was little and went through the whole visa thing, sometimes he didnt go through the visa thing, sometimes hes a dual citizen because of family and shit, its all dependent on what suits the situation best.

one that ive been fucking with for a while but hardly break out (until recently with like 5 roses in the span of one day hell yeah) is that he has a neighbor at the end of the hall who is like a thousand year old witch lady that hes basically adopted as his mother figure in lieu of not having one and shes totally cool with it, especially bc when she kicks the bucket she fully plans on giving dave all her occult stuff so her figure-skating coach and realtor daughter doesnt sell it at a garage sale and lets it all go to waste. she also once brought rose up by name in a conversation without any prompting of her existence which dave didnt realize for days, and then one time cryptically stopped and stared at an empty space in the wall, went “she has potential, you know.” then looked at him sitting on her kitchen counter with a smile “lots of it” and hes thought about that weekly ever since. (it is important to note one of the occult items he leaves her is literally her own personal book of shadows shes been filling out for decades its like a 600 page leatherbound book dave has no idea what its used for but the sheer amount of homemade spells and etc in it is like. gonna murder rose the second this chick gets her hands on it i promise you.)

theres the standard strife shit? im not rlly gonna get into those theyre all basically cookie cutter bullshit. its just standard bro and dave abuse talk. i like to inclulde the whole 24hr live cam up in the apartment that definitely watches dave in every room besides his own and the bathroom, but that quickly delves into the prospect of middle-aged men stalking him online and basically sexually harassing him in his own god damn home by talking about how they can see him just trying to take his shoes off in the living room after getting home and frankly? its not one of my best takes! but once you throw it into the headcanon bin, its there forever.

he actually really does do something with his photography but not enough to warrant anything exciting, but he has his own branding for it and regularly takes pictures of his friends or anything else he thinks is moderately interesting enough to take pictures of, but those are just thrown into shoeboxes under his bed in favor of posting genuine shots because he wants to keep his image intact and blurry photos of jade smiling in the tree they climbed up together while bec paws at the base of it while whining isnt exactly something he wants the whole world to see.

i also pretty often but him into either paleontology OR i put him down as trying to become a mortician because he thinks handing roadkill once he graduated from museum giftshop specimens to doing his own taxidermy on the side has prepared him enough to perform an occasional autopsy and start embalming real human corpses. (sometimes i put my own desires in and make them his bc i have to project at some point and put him through the same EMT course i dropped out of bc it was one semester and he already has pretty decent first aid skills, but he definitely didnt expect it to be as fucking wild at times as it is, but whats he gonna do? get a job back at waffle house? the company hes working for just offered to pay like half his associates in paramedicine tuition and hes already got all his pre-recs done when he started for paleo. at least its a stable job and hes got the ability to be compassionate in the moment)

im running out of things that ive done to the poor kid. OH

hes not a virgin he had a girlfriend all four years of high school (shes also one of his optional and designated exes plz keep up) and their relationship ends in one of two ways: she dies in a car accident a week before their high school graduation, or she stops talking to him entirely a week after their high school graduation until a couple years later she gets into (guess what) a car accident with her current wife/girlfriend and dies which leaves behind their daughter. who just so happens to also be daves daughter. her name is hannah and i love her like my own but no one ever likes her and thats on the conditioning of dirk. does dave end up taking her in? yes. shes awesome and the first time he takes her to the park to like run off some fucking steam she disappears for two minutes and dave is moderately terrified until she comes back holding a dead baby squirrel and thats the moment he realizes huh maybe things really do be genetic.

ok at the bottom of the list im gonna add the couple of times hes been a camboy which usually coincides with the live apartment cam thing and the amount of people in his dms calling him hot or whatever, but typically its more of a started the day he turned 18 and basically dipped around 20 in favor of showing up randomly with no warning to complain about a video game dick in hand because it gives him an outlet that wont annoy his friends bc this is the fifteenth time hes had a lot to say this week about a certain boss battle and also the comments fuel his ego and daddy issues.

the last one wasnt the bottom but literally unless its explicitly proven otherwise every time anyone rps with me there is the underlying fact dave strider was a goalie on his high school lacrosse teams all four years and (shocker another one) definitely had the hots for one of his teammates like major hots like first gay experience hots. like it was painfully obvious that teammate also liked him back hots. like one night at a team sleepover one of the other guys was like can yall just makeout and get it over with were fucking tired and dave really had the balls to be offended and ask what the fuck they were talking about while literally sitting halfway in the mans lap bc for some reason they had to share the same chair.

he is also guilty until proven innocent of being the worlds biggest loner outside of that sports team and even though hes literally a jock he still opts to eat his lunch alone in the hallway or something like that and has a tendency to leave girls on read, but bc hes got an in with the rest of the jocks hes basically drug around to plenty of parties and since hes conventionally attractive enough and popular in the aloof way that he is, hes got plenty of tagged insta posts and twitter directs and snapchat streaks going.

THESE WERE ALL NO GAME AND DONT INVOLVE SHIPS BC I LIKE TO KEEP MY OPTIONS OPEN AND THEYRE LITERALLY ALL BASED OFF RPS IVE DONE I HOPE YALL JUDGE ME ACCORDINGLY

#theres probably so many more i mean #ive been on parp for at least 5-6 years now #ive been on cherubplay probably the same amount of time #and my memory is totally shot to fuck but these are just what i know ive done in the last YEAR #or thought were wild enough to remember #i put it under a read more bc frankly its really fucking long #and i dont want this to represent me entirely #these are also heavily situational based and not like. emotion or reaction based much?#some of them are #i guess i could rename this to like. things ive done on parp #but theyre technically still headcanons a lot of them can coincide with whatever #so theyre not very specific situations #anyways #this took me an hour

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themikewheelers · 6 years

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Hey! Im pretty new to the fandom (since like summer) and i was wondering if there were any crazy fan theories before s2 came out? Like the speculation over s3 has really got me thinking how much people predicted before the show came out last time? I’ve really enjoyed reading your posts so thanks ♥️

Okay so crazy fan theories idk if u mean crazy like, funny, or crazy like INTENSE so I’ll just answer for both lmao. There were a LOT of funny theories before the show came out. I mentioned one of them the other night, which was the El/Mike MORPH theory, but if u didn’t see that post, basically when the first s2 teaser came out there was a shot from the scene of El and Hopper’s fight where El is crying. It was the first look we got of El in s2 so that was the first time we were seeing her curly hair and all that, and also in the shot (which didn’t make the final cut of the show) she was covering her face, so at first we weren’t 100% sure if it was her. Millie and Noah ended up confirming that it was, but a LOT of ppl were still convinced it was Mike, which led to a bunch of ridiculous theories that in s2 El was going to morph into Mike, that they were actually the same person, there would be a body swapping plotline, etc. like there were a lot of variations of it but it can all be p well grouped under the same theory. The main other FUNNY theory coming to mind is my personal favorite, PregNancy. A completely baseless-yet-popular theory that was exactly how it sounds, Pregnant Nancy. It rlly only started bc in the trailer they included the shot of Nancy crying in the Holland’s bathroom, so a lot of people ran with this whole idea that she’s crying cause she just took a pregnancy test and there were a lot of spiraled out theories like whether it was Steve or Jonathan’s baby and all that. Those are the two main comedic theories from s2 that I remember and ppl who were here for them can all remember hauntingly and joke about

As for ACTUAL theories, jeez there were a LOT. There were some rlly good ones too. I remember a rlly popular one was that after someone leaked some set pictures of Millie filming the scene where El gets off the bus in Chicago, a lot of ppl started theorizing that Eleven was hiding out there with some friends Hopper had there or smth (Now we know that “the city” Hop used to live in was New York, but we didn’t know that pre-s2 so ppl figured it might be Chicago and he had an old apartment there or smth). There were also a LOT of theories centered around the tunnels, bc that was some of the only plot hints we had going in to the season. People caught on pretty quickly after the trailer came out that the drawings in the Byers house were a map of the tunnels, and stuff spiraled from there. I remember one theory I personally believed was that the tunnels were what Will used in the Upside Down to get around and hide from the Demogorgon. Another big theory was that the red cloud that the Mind Flayer appeared in in Will’s visions was going to be an actual physical storm coming to Hawkins, which came p much from the few shots of it in trailers alongside the fact that the show originally released some fake episode titles when they announced s2, and one of them was “The Storm”. The old title for “The Lost Sister” was actually “The Lost Brother” and a LOT of theories came from that, ranging from pretty accurate like it being another experiment, to completely off base, like one I remember was it being about a 4th Wheeler sibling (Mike’s twin) who died (p much just came from the fact that Mike has a bunk bed). OH and if you remember the DnD scene at the end of season 1, aka everything with the proud princess, the lost knight, and the weird flowers in the cave? Everyone was CONVINCED those were supposed to be clues for season 2. Literally 99% of s2 theories mentioned those 3 things, and in the end they were complete red herrings. A lot of theories also came from Dragon’s Lair, as the Duffers hinted a lot that there would be symbolism in the game. Now we know that “symbolism” was rlly nothing more than foreshadowing that Lucas would end up with Max and not Dustin (”Princess Daphne is still mine!”) but for a long time we thought it was PLOT foreshadowing. And lemme tell you anon, I personally did SO MUCH research on that game and watched the gameplay so many times making theories. The plot of the game is about a knight rescuing a missing princess from a dragon, and a lot of ppl (me included) thought that was going to foreshadowing for Mike saving El from whatever was the reason she was still missing. For a LONG time ppl thought El was going to be in the Upside Down for a full year. If you read any pre-s2 fics, there’s a good chance that’s going to be referenced, bc for so long we didn’t have ANY clue where she could be so we just assumed she was stuck in the Upside Down as a default. It wasn’t until a year after the show came out that it was confirmed she’d been out of the Upside Down since the beginning. So yeah for a long time there were a LOT of theories about the kids doing a rescue mission to the Upside Down. Another theory that came from Dragon’s Lair was that Dustin was going to die, bc his character dies in Dragon’s Lair and people thought that would be similar foreshadowing to how in s1 Will’s DnD character was taken by the Demogorgon, then that’s what happened in real life. Speaking of character deaths, a LOT of people thought Steve or Hopper were gonna die. There wasn’t rlly explanation behind it, but everyone kinda agreed, their character arcs as of the end of s1 were set up well if the show wanted to kill one of them off. Another big plot theory that I remember was that the Upside Down would be spreading to the real world, bc the tag line for season 2 was “The World Is Turning Upside Down” and people connected it back to Mr Clarke’s line about how the gate could swallow everyone up whole. That theory KINDA became true and the gate was spreading in s2, but it wasn’t the plot of the season or anything, and it wasn’t near as serious in reality as people theorized it to be. There were a also LOT of theories about Will too, and a lot of them were some variation of Will having powers. Oh and since one of the episode titles is “The Spy” there were a lot of theories about who the spy was, the most common ones I remember were Max, Billy, Bob, and Hopper. The first 3 bc they were the newbies (no pun intended on Bob’s end) and Hopper bc we kinda knew he had some connection going on with the lab, but didn’t know the nature or what was going on or anything. OHMYGOD and how could I forget the Thessalhydra. The FREAKING Thessalhydra. Another DnD related theory that I spent HOURS of my life dedicated to researching only for it to amount to NOTHING. The Thessalhydra is another DnD monster, and it was also mentioned in the campaign at the end of season 1, and everyone was convinced that would be the new monster from s2. There weren’t a lot of theories about the Mind Flayer going into season 2 just because we didn’t know enough to even have theories, but almost every theory that did exist assumed that the shadow monster was the Thessalhydra coming to Hawkins following the Demogorgons defeat. Another one I remember is since we got shots of Joyce, Hop, and Bob wearing scrubs in the trailer, people thought they were going undercover in a hospital to either 1) kidnap Will out of it or 2) steal medical files.

As for theories that were accurate, there was a surprising lot. Honestly in reality a LOT of stuff that happened in season 2 was stuff ppl either theorized about, but their theories went WAY more in depth & went beyond what actually happened, or it was smth ppl figured was too obvious to be true. So honestly in the end we definitely OVER-theorized a lot for s2. El and Hop was one of them. Hopper hiding El in a secret cabin in the woods was one of those things that everybody in the fandom thought about, but most of us thought it was too predictable to be true (especially because one of those original episode titles was literally “The Secret Cabin”). Everyone pretty much assumed that Dustin’s pollywog was really the slug Will threw up, and there were even a lot of theories about it being a baby Demogorgon (though I don’t think ANYONE anticipated the demodogs). Or like I mentioned before, a lot of theories about El going to Chicago, but none of them were even CLOSE to what really happened. Kali’s original name in the show was Roman, and they kept her SUPER secretive. When the final trailer of the show came out, they included a shot of the gang wearing masks, and I remember someone was able to figure out that one of them was Roman/Kali, and that’s rlly all we knew about her going in. I actually remember someone sent me an ask back then thinking that the girl next to her might be El in a mask too, and I specifically remember looking at that picture thinking “Nah that’s not her” bc I mean, no one expected anything like episode 7. They had announced there was going to be an independent episode, and I remember our theories ranged everywhere from a musical episode to flashbacks of the year between 1 and 2 to a whole episode dedicated to Terry and MKUltra. But at no point did anyone come even close to figuring out the truth. There’s a lot of smaller details ppl anticipated too, like the Stancy breakup or Bob’s death, and even a good chunk of the plot honestly, even if no one rlly theorized the exacts, the whole kinda premise and concepts we had brought up a lot before and we had loosely figured it out. But there was also so much stuff no one ever thought of before, like the Demodogs or everything with ep7 or the lab shutting down or Will getting possessed.

All in all honestly we did a pretty good job. Everything we COULD figure out based on the information we had we did for the most part, to the point where honestly this time around the show is being WAY more secretive in s3 because they don’t want us to figure stuff out again. Like I said before, honestly we over-theorized, we took all the information we did and definitely overthought everything a LOT and ended up going a lot more intense with it than what ultimately happened in the show lmao

#this is so long im SORRY #theres so much im forgetting too like this is all off the top of my head #god s2 theories were such a ride i cant wait till we have more s3 info and can rlly start with theories for that

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haechanti-remade · 6 years

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This Just In: I Love My Mutuals?

hewwo owo wat’s dis? me wuving my sweet pwecious mutuwals??? dawmn wight! asdfghjk e n y ways

okay for serious (not really), i just hit 400 on this dumb blog (i really don’t understand how, but i did wow), and i just wanted to do something to show love to some of the people i’ve met and befriended and the mutuals i have, because they’re all so good and sweet and amazing and i just?? love them and hope they’re having a good night or day or afternoon, they deserve it uwu (also if you aren’t following them already, go do it you fools they’re Amazing),, i wrote a little smth for some of the new peeps i’ve made at the bottom of this dumb lovepost (and also a few old peeps that i just can’t leave out bc i Love Them So Much and will use every opportunity to tell them). is this wholeass post overkill and extra and probably unnecessarily mushy??? definitely. but did i do it anyway? yeah uwu

✨ - favourite blogs | 💖 - i really heart you | 🌸 - we don’t really talk or interact much, but i think you’re super cool and you make my heart uwu

bolded - i wrote a little smth for you at the bottom, some of them aren’t that long and some of it may be cheesy or like.. sound repeated and i definitely made a fool o myself here but ok a y here me out ok uhhhhh i just want yall to know i love and appreciate you :(

A-F

G-M

N-Z

@princelyrenjun: jemmie!!!!!!! every time i see you in my inbox or on my dash or just anywhere i get really happy :((( all your asks are really cute YOU’RE really cute okay it’s always such a pleasure to hear what you have to say and even though i don’t know you well, you’re so nice and a big sweetheart and i Love u sm!!!!!!!!

@positive-dream: i realize again that i don’t know your name either im literally gonna cry im terrible but i love u anyways ok you’re on of my favourite blogs and talking to you is so Fun!! it’s nice to cry about Canadian ProblemsTM with someone who understand the pain of living in a constant tundra sdfghjkl also you’re just so nice and easy to talk to and like thank u for dropping that soft hyuck in my dms the first time you messaged me by the way uwuwu ilysm!!!!!!

@frostii-dragons: WINTER you’re literally so cute and such a sweetheart!!! you’re another person i get really happy seeing on my dash and stuff, even if we don’t interact a lot (which like,,, i wanna change but i’m really,,, shy). you’re literally like, an angel, amazing, blessed... your art is also literally so cute and anyone who ever says otherwise is Cancelled and will have to catch these hands. and OH i also hope you know i Love u!!!!!

@absolutelyfullycapablemark: suki you’re such a chaotic mark stan but that’s okay i love it i Love u little miss queenie suki (it’s halfway you’re fault im always [redacting] about mark t h a n k s for that) asdfgh anyway okay you’re literally??? amazing?? you’re always hyping people up and you’re such a hella good balance of nice and chaotic and you really always just make me :((( out of love, and like whether you’re hyping people up in the tags or going [redacted] wild, i always really enjoy seeing you on my dash and hearing what you gotta say

@honeyboyhwall: anyway okay sam you’re literally adorable and funny and amazing and i love love love seeing you in my notifs or in my inbox or just on my dash okay :(( you’re softness for yukhei is so cute it always warms my heart whenever i see u get soft for him (and like,,, get ready for more soft bf yukhei asks sent ur way by the way uwu) we don’t like, interact that much or even talk a lot and i rlly wanna change that but like, you’re one of my fave blogs!! i don’t remember how i found you but like, i’m so glad i did!!! i love usm!!!

@chensung-anon: i just realized now that i don’t know your name oh man... but OH BOY cs i still Love you a lot!!!! every time you tag me in something (mark) or submit something to me (those... those chain gifs) i literally start crying thanks pal i love death!!! it’s always Fun crying over mark and his dumb arms and his dumb fkin [redacted] with you but also seeing you get SoftTM over him is literally really cute wow gosh anyways you’re so!! sweet and talented (even if you don’t see it yourself) and i always get rlly happy whenever i see you on my dash or in my ask box (and,,, i really wanna be closer friends with you sdfghj) and i also really hope you know that ily and that you deserve all the good days in the world thanks

@hyucko: OKAY PAIGE listen here you little shit i love you and every time you tag me in smth my heart gets really soft :((( you’re literally so cute and funny and also super talented like wow??? young queen??? talking to you is so fun and it makes me so happy and i hope you know how loved and appreciated and amazing you are (and if you don’t i guess i gotta keep tellin u uwuwu) also okay you’re just... such a joy to know in general and u also kinda make my Dad InstinctsTM go off sometimes bc you’re one of my favourite mutuals and you really deserve all the happiness in the world oh man :((( anyway you little dorko i hope you’re doing alright i Love you!!!!

@jisquish: i’ve said it before and i’ll continue to say it but miss india is literally one of the best people i know and if anyone thinks otherwise they’re: cancelled. anyway india honey the cutest lesbian ever my sweet wlw buddy hewwo, oh, i really hope you know i love you! i’m sosososo happy we’re mutuals and that i know you and get to talk to you, you literally!! make me so happy!!! like!!! you’re so kind and sweet and talented and funny and, did i mention talented??? miss voice of an angel!!!!! queen of loving and appreciating stray kids!!!!! sometimes when i’m sad i look at the asks you’ve sent me and some of our dumb lovepost convos and it really turns my :( into a :) thanks for like, being there and sending me sweet asks when im sad and tagging me in jisung and just, existing ilysm (also every time think of you my first thought is loona, and my second is “vore” and i jsut)

@purplerosiedraws: okay so first off i have a theory that you’re an actual Angel because you’re so nice and friendly and kind and pretty and genuine and one of the best people i’ve ever met??? also, rosie.... honey.... you’re... SO. FREAKING. TALENTED. like holy shit every time i see your art my heart stops it’s so amazing??? when you drew jeno from my celetestial au i?? cried??? when u drew sam i actually had a heart attack it was so beautiful w o w queen of art the goddess of art !! anyways i love you so much!! your asks and messages and just, you in general make me so happy!!! i’m so glad i got to meet you you really deserve the world!!!!

@cosmichyuck: lu honey oh lil lamb hewwo cosmos boy!!!!! i love you so much!!!! you’re so SWEET and so AMAZING and oh, you’re also just???? so great wow i can’t believe i got to know you!!!! talking to you is so fun and it makes me so happy!! sometimes you submit stuff to me and it really does make me cry and my heart gets TIGHT buddy, you’re a whole sweetheart and you deserve: everything good ever in the world! i love love love seeing you on my dash and interacting with you and just!! havin you in my life okay!!! PLUS you’re really the cutest hyuck stan your love for our sweet little honeysuckle star boy is: precious! your loveposts are so sweet and they always make me soft and happy and just, all your posts are Good Content, you’re Good Content and i just!!! love you sm cosmos boy!! i’m Dumb and talking to you 1v1 intimidates me a bit (which was why i became your sun anon in the first place sdfghj) but like!!! you’re just a big ol Soft and it’s super blessed oh thank u for existing :((((

@rxnjuns: ok im just gna say it, right here right now, lisa you’re a QUEEN okay, your art hits me RIGHT in the heart oh my god??? your shitposts??? iconic. your edits???? amaizng. and your aus??? god tier. you’re so talented and ik i keep saying it but i will keep saying it bc it’s just the truth. your blog’s been one of my favourites since i found it in like, january, and right off the bat i like, hella knew you’d be one of my faves?? even if i did lurk for like a week before following sdfghj anygays like, you’re such a sweetheart and like, really creative and fun and nice and friendly and like, anyone who sends you hate can catch my goddamn hands bc you don’t deserve any of that (also.. you and star are so cute, couple of the century uwu),,, you literally are like half of the reason i was inspired to start an nct blog and like even though i’m still rlly.... ScaredTM to talk to you i hope you know the first time you messaged me i like, cried asdfgh anyway miss queen of the world lisa ilysm

@softboynamjoon: i’ll never miss an opportunity to tell you how much you mean to me!!! you’re like, one of my closest friends and being able to talk to you is so, so amazing and you make me so happy!! you really do!!! i sound like a broken record at this point but cece you mean so much to so me and knowing you and talking to you and being your friend has really brightened up my life a lot! i know i haven’t been around much lately and im like, awful for leaving you hanging for so long and im sorry, but i hope you know i don’t love you any less!! you’re so talented and sweet and kind and smart and pretty and oh man, you really are one of my favourite people i really can’t imagine not having you in my life cece i love you so much!!!!!!! thank you for being in my life and jsut, thank you for existing i Love You!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@gays-4-pcy: baby honey darling sweetheart bumblebee angel my prince Oh i’d string all the stars in the universe into a crown because you are the prince of my universe :(( oh oh you’ve heard me say it many times but oh jesse i love you and you make me smile on my rainiest days and make the vines in my chest die away and flowers grow in their place i could go on forever about how much your smile means to me, how much it brightens my day to hear you talk about yourself or your interests or your own day, i love hearing about you :( everything about you is my favourite, you’re cute and cheeky and funny and smart and talented and hot and handsome (and always [redacted] for boys) and the love of my life thanks for existing thanks for loving me thanks for being my rock i love you so much more than you’ll ever realize oh man jesse you big goofy baby i can’t wait to hold your hand and take you out on a big dumb gay ice cream and flower garden date uwu

@minkittyx: hi jacqui honey hewwo oh my gosh i!!!!!!!! really!!! freaking love you!!!!! you mean so much to me and you’re another one of my best friends and someone i really, really care about, and i hope you know that!!!! i can’t articulate but every time you send me monsta x or animals or haikyuu or just, anything, it really makes me happy and i really appreciate it. again, i’m really sorry for not being around much, but it doesn’t mean i love you any less!!! you’re one of the sweetest people i’ve ever met and you’re so cute and talented and sweet and genuine and i??? hope you know how amazing you are jacqui, i’m so glad you’re in my life and i really don’t think i could ever put it into words how much i love you!!!!!!! Thank you for existing and being my friend and oh man jacqui i gotta say it one more time but I Love You!!

#.lovepost #mutual appreciation #feel free to ignore this im gross and full of love #i HOPE this tags or ill cry

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ocean-butch · 6 years

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How is cas different from ur other girlfriends

akcjwjxia i had to wait like SIX HOURS to answer this bc of a goddamn test i had bUT OH BOY ANON AM I GONNA LOVE DOING IT alfjadjsk i just love talking about my gf i love her so much i wanna gush about her 25/8

the short answer would be basically in every way bUt imma do it part by part.

okay so, in a simplified version i’ve had relationships with people whose personalities worked well with me but who were shitty girlfriends or a good girlfriend who just didnt really fit with my personality. i’ve actually given that so much thought even before i met cass, but the point is that i met her and she was just perfect for me in both ways (technically its more complicated bc theres a bunch of logic into this that im not explaining bc my mind is weird and it would be Way too long but anyways). but ok let get into How she fits me perfectly.

first of all literally no one ever in my entire life has made me laugh as easily and genuinely as she does. im not even exaggerating, like laughing was never really A Thing for me to look for in girls bc it just never happened???? like i had fun conversations and stuff but there was never anyone that made me go “holy shit i have never laughed this much with anyone else” and we have So many inside jokes, which is a thing that i almost never have????? and i always used to wish i did bc everyone would talk about it and i’d feel like i just wasnt funny and That was the problem. and also this is really important bc its one of the things that made me realize that i liked (and eventually, came to love) her. bUT its not the only one so theres also like all these things that we like and we can talk about for HOURS like i remember when i watched infinity war and the first thing i did when i got home was call her and we talked about it for like 2 hours idek but it was great. the point is, we have a bunch of shared interests (which isnt like 100% necessary but its still really nice), wHICH LEADS ME TO: her music taste is amazing and i love that so much bc i love music With My Entire Soul and its the best thing in the fucking world (after cass & my friends and tied with the ocean) but yeah thats great too. AND i think more importantly than the last 2 things is that she is literally so fucking easy to talk to. like ever since the beginning we didnt really have that awkward phase where we run out of things to talk about and the conversation keeps dying like we never had that it just flowed so well and that was such a good feeling. another thing is also how comfortable i feel talking to her.

like i have never felt this way with any of my girlfriends bc i was always scared that i was gonna be annoying or say something Wrong and they’d start to realize i sucked and then break up with me, but shes just so kind and idk she just has this way about her that makes me feel at home and its always been there like i dont believe in love at first sight or anything like that but i swear to god the day after i met her i already felt like i could tell her anything and that was such a comforting thing and i needed that so badly at the time. i dont feel like i was able to describe this aspect very well tbh like im not doing it justice. like, she makes me feel like im not annoying at all, and like i could just randomly start ranting about anything and she would be like super invested in it, and just literally so comfortable in every sense of the word. she is my home, no ifs ands or buts, i just feel it every single time that we talk or that i simply think about her, and i have never felt this so clearly with anyone. and i think this comfort i feel with her is kinda connected with how she has always made me felt so appreciated, in a way that no one has ever done. like, i had like 2 tags about my wants and needs in a relationship, there was “my dream girl” to remind me that i shouldnt settle for anyone after i got out of a rlly bad relationship, and there was “things i wish someone would tell me” after my “first” relationship (i dont really count it bc Officially™ we only dated for a week) because my gf at the time would almost never be affectionate with me and it made me really insecure so i started that tag as a way to vent kinda. anyways my point is that i made those tags bc i would always feel super anxious in my relationships bc i never really felt loved or even wanted (aka the good personalities awful gfs relationships) i just felt like a burden and it was such a big thing for me.

okay now i’ll say that there Kinda was an exception to this before cass, because it would be unfair to say that that relationship was detrimental to my mental health, but it was still different. like, that ex did make me feel wanted most times, but not only did i still have A Lot of insecurities about the whole thing bc of some things she would say and do or not say and not do and i’d get like super uncomfortable or just sad really but also bc whenever the conversation would start to die out i was Absolutely Certain that she was gonna break up with me. it was pretty bad im not even joking. and like ofc my anxiety isnt her fault OR responsibility and like sure i still get anxious about cass sometimes but its not like that its basically just when she doesnt answer for a long time i think that something bad might have happened but even when my rude ass brain does try to tell me that she doesnt love me i KNOW that its not true, and that is a kind of peace that i have never ever had before. but anyways, so that was the good gf whose personality didnt fit mine and its weird now bc that is so obvious but i really didnt wanna believe it at the time even though i knew it wasnt gonna work out, but now its just really weird ngl (but i wont get into the why).

and now cass. wow okay let me tell you about cass. she is perfection. she is literally everything i have ever wanted AND things i didnt even know i wanted. she is everything no one else ever was and i just remembered that when we started dating in may i said that exact same sentence to abby. its just so true, she really is everything that no one else could be. because theyre not her. i’ve said this a lot of times but i really dont see how i could ever love anyone else after loving her, it just doesnt make sense to me because she really is like,, as good as it gets. there is no one better than her for me. we’re literally meant to be i s2g like when we broke up for a while i would tell everyone i wasnt really trying to move on at all bc i just hoped she would come back to me and i couldnt miss that chance. i knew she was my soulmate, although at some points i lost almost all hope (but never all) and i started thinking that maybe she was the love of my life but i wasnt the love of hers. and thats bc she really is everything ive ever dreamed of like she has all these little things that she does or say that sometimes wouldnt even mean anything to other people but to me they are So important bc theyre things ive dreamed about while my ex girlfriends ignored me akcjsjxn like, i was talking about how comfortable she feels to me and a big part of that comes from little things like the fact that even when we were just friends she would spam me when i was gone for a long time and that not only made me feel missed and appreciated but also it meant i could do that to her and it wouldnt be annoying bc she felt the same!! like, she missed me too! and me knowing that she actually Wanted to talk to me and the fact that she actually showed me she cared was super great when we started dating bc it made me feel like if i was feeling sad or insecure, i could literally just ask her to be a little more affectionate and it wouldnt feel fake bc i actually knew she cared. and you have No idea how much that meant to me bc i literally didnt know it was possible for me to feel that way. like honestly i thought it was an innate aspect of who i am that like if i asked for affection it would be meaningless? bc i’d be lowkey forcing the person to say something? but with her it felt different bc we had enough intimacy for me to feel comfortable enough to do that.

HOWEVER i never actually Had to do that bc i got insecure exactly once (1) on the first night we started dating back in may bc i didnt know how much she liked me and i was like in love with her so i thought she would think i was too much and then i told her i was sad and that i was gonna sleep and the next day when i woke up she said something along the lines of “how are you babe bc i remember you said you were sad last night and i couldnt stop thinking about it bc i want you to feel good all the time” and thats something so small but wow it just meant so much to me bc i would cry and beg any fucking force in the universe to make my last ex do Anything At All to try to make me Not Sad and it would be awful and i would feel so so unloved and then cass just said that and something clicked in me and i never doubted her feelings to an actual Meaningful extent while we’ve been together anymore (like ofc i get insecure sometimes and especially when we broke up, but while we have been dating ive never gotten like actually Sad™ specifically bc i wasnt sure she liked me) but it gets even better because some of the things she does are so so special that i never even imagined them like shes literally unreal, i literally never thought someone like her existed and its just so wild to me that i get to be with her.

and i know im saying a bunch of cliches but i mean it all so much like i remember when i was dating one of my exes i was learning her first language but she didnt try to learn mine and i really wished she would bc i just always loved the idea that someone would do that for me?? (and she was like the good gf so yknow,, just how that relationship literally did Not even compare to cass) and guess what yes cass is learning portuguese and its the cutest thing ever btw bUt the point is she does all the little things ive ever wanted in a partner (i literally have a post with a list of things i appreciate in a partner and she does all of them!! well, the ones that arent like irl or smth) also i literally have a draft in this blog that is a list of cute things cass has done/said that means a lot to me personally but i didnt post it yet ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and like theres just so so many things that i havent talked about, like how im not even sure if i was ever in love with anyone of them anymore because what i feel for cass is just so different and so much more, or like how cass actually makes me want to try to get better, which ive never actually wanted before bc it always seemed to scary, like she literally makes me wanna be not only alive but also happy bc she makes me feel like i deserve it. she has been such a good influence on me and my mental health and thats so important and its the first time someone has been this good for me.

but anyways the point is that cass is right for me in every single way like she really is my other half she literally just is everything that she is and thats how shes different from my ex girlfriends.

#according to my girlfriend i spent over 2 hours writing this #AltHouGh #she DID distract me a few times bc she was being cute #and i love her #wow i love her #i know anon is definitely not gonna read this but my girl will alhajska #mine #answered #anon #luna

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kxias · 7 years

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...so, yeah, don’t rlly know how the fuck i got accepted to be quite honest w you??? like that definitely sounded fake but yet here we are??? anyways, hi, i’m red (she/her pronouns please) i’m 19 and i live in the est timezone and i am so, so excited about this roleplay — like i said, highkey was not expecting to get accepted so it certainly came as a shock when i refreshed the main before leaving to grab dinner and saw my post? i’ve been dying to put this muse of mine into play for a month or so now but i really haven’t been able to find a group that i was Down for up until i saw this one ! i am a heaux for uni rps, an even bigger one for the greek life rps since i in a million years would never be able to join greek life (yay introvert!!) and while i wasn’t here first time around, i’m happy to be here now and writing w all you lovely people ; i’m working on getting her stats and wanted connections up so pls bear with me, classes started back today and i’m trying to sift thru all the junk of my online courses while attempting to enjoy my last moments of freedom but they’ll be up soon ! in the meantime, there’s a bit beneath the cut about my baby angel and a few ideas to tide you over, make the heart go red and i’ll pop in your ims for plots ! and yes, i do ramble like this all the time so Get Ready !!

tw: death, slight depression, mentions of verbal/emotional abuse

have you read the gossip blog lately ? apparently, a GIGI HADID lookalike was seen strolling across campus with their DANCE textbook. but nah, that’s just KAIA ZAMAN, the TWENTY year old JUNIOR, i’m sure you know HER. they’re mostly known as THE SANGUINE because they’re very SILVER-TONGUED and INTREPID but also RETICENT and GUILELESS.

so kaia was born and raised in chicago, illinois, the only child her parents ever had due to a few factors — one of which being that it was incredibly hard for her mother to carry a child + rushed into an emergency hysterectomy right after kaia’s birth, so she was their rainbow baby

her parents did everything in their power to make kaia as happy as they possibly could since she had been everything they’d wanted for so long, so whether it was letting her watch another cartoon before bed or enrolling her in dance classes at the age of three after a full-fledged obsession with the nutcracker reached its pique, they pretty much granted her any wish she could’ve possibly had

at age four, a few nights after christmas, kaia and her parents were on their way home from dinner, taking a road that was pretty notorious for collecting black ice in the winter and got into a really bad accident, and this cost her both of her parents

so in her father’s will + due to a lack of any other eligible family members, kaia was left in the custody of her uncle ( dad’s younger brother ) and it was...disastrous, to say the least; daniel had pretty much resigned to a life of forever being a bachelor and fucking around and now he had a four year old niece that he was expected to raise???

her uncle was a trashbag with a few shreds of decency (driven by guilt) in him — he wasn’t going to dump her into the foster system but he sure as hell didn’t want anything to do with her ! so in true trashbag fashion, he just decided to completely neglect her, pretend like she wasn’t there and hope she’d get the hint, and it took her a while to figure this out?? kaia was a sweet kid who went from having a shit ton of affection and love to being ignored and treated like she was a nuisance, and it fucked w her head at four years old

she wound up raising herself; all her uncle was good for was giving her a place to live, making sure she had clothes on her back and food in her stomach, and putting on an act when people gave a second glance their way. the only time he really wanted anything to do with her was when he could benefit her somehow, like keep one of his girlfriends around ( they all found kaia adorable and daniel ‘admirable’ for stepping up ) or when it came to the $$, her parents had left her a little but daniel pretty much absorbed it and took it for himself, to throw more parties or buy booze or play sugar daddy to one of his hookups?? like i said, trashbag

kaia and her uncle were roommates at best, and that was pushing it — she struggled a lot with the neglect internally, and her way of coping was to push it down, push it down, suppress with a smiling face and act like all was well. daniel was enough of a decent person to let her continue with the dance lessons which she absolutely adored, dance was her Everything, and by the time she hit high school, she started teaching classes at the studio she learned at in order to make some $$ that daniel wouldn’t take for his own

the older she got, the more she’d fight back a little against daniel and they had their fair share of fights ( which usually ended in daniel saying something to shut her down entirely and she’d scramble away ) but even despite that, sHE NEVER GAVE UP HOPE ON HIM...?? like, kaia always gave him the benefit of the doubt even though he’d proved himself time and time again thAT HE DIDN’T DESERVE IT

to her it was v black and white, she didn’t understand why tf he wouldn’t just get over himself and be a Family ( daniel is Where she gets her stubbornness tbh ) but despite having a little resent towards him, kaia never ever stopped hoping that he’d wake up one day and they’d start being a family and she still hasn’t bc optimist in the highest degree

when it came to college, kaia knew if she didn’t get out of chicago she was literally going to be sick, there was just smth about the loneliness there that made her skin crawl ( she also hates the winter now so she had to get as far away from snow as possible lmao ) and so she was like “alright i need a college on the west coast and w my dance major”, found crawford, and it was Settled

you ain’t getting my gossip blog secret out of me *wink*

anyways, now that the tragic backstory has been #unlocked...onto kaia

she’s the sanguine, which basically means bitch is a ball of sunshine, which she is — there’s no such thing as a stranger in her world, she likes constantly being surrounded by people ( bc she gotta make up for being lonely all those childhood years, thanks a ton dAN ) and making new friends and going out, she just loves people and people usually love her, she knows how to reel them in and keep them by her side, girlie will do Anything

she flat-out refuses to see the bad in people, even if it is staring her in the face, and this is where her stubborn nature comes in to play?? you can’t tell her anything, once her mind is set on something there is no hope of ever talking her out of it, she’s got to come to her senses on her own and even then it’s usually too late or she diminishes the impact of it?? she’s rash and got bad tunnel vision so it’s p clear where disaster lies w her

has the unhealthiest coping mechanisms on the history of the planet, tbh; she thinks the cure to everything is putting a smile on and acting like it’s not a problem and while that works when one fails a test, it doesn’t work w everything and she’s just forced so much pain and depression and anger down that it is Bound to come right back up at some point, so basically homegirl is a ticking time bomb

kaia’s also a people pleaser, she’d literally give you a kidney if you asked, which makes it easy for people to manipulate her?? and she doesn’t always see when she’s being manipulated either?? and won’t always stand up for herself when she’s being treated unfairly??? she just likes keeping the peace if at all possible

blurs the line a lot between doing things because she can and doing things because she feels an obligation to so she doesn’t let anyone down

ever since her parents died, she doesn’t like to give anything a second-guess — if she wants to do something, then she’s doing it, because it may not come back around again or she may not have the chance to. is the Definition of living in the moment, which is nice in theory, but kaia is v bad at compartmentalizing so it’s easy for her to get off track or ofc do things that will come back to bite her

dance is life, i’m not even gonna go into detail on it bc this is long enough already and like.....it’s just her whole world, ok, moving along

she wants everyone to let her in but she very rarely returns the favor, which is why i gave her the reticent trait?? she doesn’t tell people about her parents or her uncle, doesn’t let people see that iceberg of emotions underneath the surface, she acts like if it doesn’t exist then it doesn’t as far as anyone’s concerned???

girl is one of the greatest friends you could ever have but is a piece of work when you think about it, tbh, so that being said come love us !

and if you read this far: the reason this STUPID vine is my ooc tag is bc i have an ex named kyle who is a piece of trash and that vine is a p accurate description of how i feel about him.....plus it just makes me laugh ok going now

#「 •• 𝓸𝓯 𝓼𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓾𝓲𝓷𝓮𝓼 ; what the fuck is up red.#crwfrd.intro

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philosophiums · 7 years

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HOLYYYYY FUUUUUCK MY HEART WENT TO A DARK PLACE I DON'T THINK EVEN YOU'RE GOING TO LIKE THIS ANGST WHY MUST I BE LIKE THIS...what if, (bc my poor son hasn't suffered enough, ofc) Neil got cancer? Terminal lung cancer, or leukemia or smthn.

And ofc, without Neil, Andrew would be a mess, and Neil knows that, and he doesn’t want Andrew to spiral bc of him even tho it’s def NOT his fault that he has cancer so he makes a deal with Andrew–he will hold on for as long as he can andtry experimental treatments and just TRY his hardest to stay alive, even though he’s aware his chances of survival are barely in existence and he’s in pain and he doesn’t want to–but only if Andrew promises to keep trying if (when) he dies.I thought about it the other way around too but it’s not QUITE as angsty bc Andrew would fight literally bc Neil needs some1 to watch his stupid ass and then Neil isn’t rlly suicidal but his playing would probably be horrible and he’d be distractedand he’d probs ends up getting himself killed bc Andrew wouldn’t be there to be his anchor. (I’m so sorry about this I have a problem I just needed to share)

okay, first of all, Courtney, fuck off. second of all, I cried writing this. I cried a lot. I hate everything about this and I hope you all suffer with me because this sucks

it starts with Neil being tired

a lot

it’s a persistent sort of tired that dogs him during practice and haunts him during class

even his bones seem to be tired, aching in a dull, heavy way

he and everyone else tag it as stress and anxiety, because even Neil realizes that it’s more of a heavy sort of tired

he’s not yawning really at all

he’s just

unmotivated, and moving seems like more work than it should be

and then Neil starts getting tired faster during practice, and it gets harder for him to catch his breath

Andrew forces him to go in and see a doctor, but the doctor just tells Neil to start sleeping at least seven hours per night and to eat better

thus night practices with Kevin get cancelled and Andrew stops keeping sweets and other unhealthy food in the dorm

at least in the sight of Neil

Neil doesn’t like seeing Andrew worried about him, so he hides the fact that even the extra sleep and the regulated diet aren’t really helping

he actually seems to be losing weight

but then the bruises start forming

and we all know that bruises are commonplace for Neil, so they go unnoticed at first, but then they start happening over little things, like bumping shoulders with Andrew

and Neil is still fucking fatigued all the time, he is bone-tired

Andrew has just about had enough, and is just about to drag Neil’s ass back to the doctor

determined to make threats to the doctor if he has to in order to find out what the hell is wrong with Neil

when Neil starts getting sudden nose bleeds

just out of nowhere, often not triggered by anything, and they’re frequent

this time Neil volunteers to go to the clinic, and Andrew goes with him

the doctor listens to the symptoms and then

well

Neil gets transferred to the hospital in Columbia

no one has told them anything yet

Andrew is panicking, heart thumping in his chest worse than when he stands on the edge of the roof

Neil, despite everything, is calm

there’s no point in panicking yet

no point in panicking at all

they get their answers at the hospital, a nurse sitting them down and explaining that Neil’s symptoms sound like leukemia, and that they need to run some tests

Neil is immediately put in for a bone marrow biopsy and, not trusting the doctors, he denies the offer for an anesthetic

they still inject him with a local, and that’s the most painful part of the whole procedure

he’s out of there in fifteen minutes, and the hospital sends him and Andrew home

it takes two weeks and five days before the hospital contacts Neil

Andrew was keeping track of the days as he did more and more research on leukemia

and that’s exactly what they find

at 4:03pm on a Thursday afternoon in November, Neil is diagnosed with acute myelogenous leukemia

one of the nurses gives Neil information about a cancer center in Columbia and suggests that Neil go try to check in that night

Neil doesn’t want to, obviously

he wants to go home, talk to his family, sleep with Andrew, and forget about all of this

but Andrew is having none of that

so Neil goes

but of course that’s not how the world works, and Neil and Andrew end up driving home anyway

(and this is going to be a novel if I don’t quit so)

Andrew quits playing Exy in order to drive Neil back and forth from Columbia, for as long as Neil can manage the trip

eventually it gets to the point where the treatments start killing things aside from just the cancer, though, and Neil stays in Columbia

Andrew stays with him

because Andrew is scary, and the doctors don’t think it’s worth trying to enforce their rules when Neil had a full-blown panic attack the first night after Andrew was forced to leave

so Andrew stays with Neil, not in the same bed because of all of the tubes, but at least in the same room

money isn’t an issue, so Neil tries everything, every drug, no matter how risky, no matter how experimental

he tries them because he promised Andrew, because he’s not ready to stop fighting yet

and Andrew

this is killing Andrew

watching Neil fade away with each day, losing his hair, losing the brightness in his eyes

don’t stop fighting he whispers when he thinks Neil is asleep don’t leave me yet

when they eventually realize that the treatments aren’t doing anything

that Neil isn’t getting better

they leave

Neil points radomly at a map and they go there

Andrew drives, slower than normal so that Neil can look at the landscapes

but that’s not what Neil cares about

that’s not what Neil watches

and Andrew, for once, doesn’t tell Neil to stop staring

they end up renting a house with the last of Neil’s money, a place in the quiet part of town with a decent backyard

but Neil doesn’t go outside anyway

he stays with Andrew, who has quit smoking, who has lost muscle mass due to lack of use, who stays glued to Neil’s side no matter what

and just as Neil is memorizing Andrew’s face, Andrew is memorizing Neil’s

Neil doesn’t say You have to keep living

and Andrew doesn’t say That’s rich, coming from a dying man

instead, Neil says I love you and you were always the survivor between the two of us

and Andrew says you are the only thing that matters

when Neil dies

oh, god

Andrew, who usually can’t bring himself to care about anything

who often doesn’t know how to express his emotions anyway

Andrew screams and cries and holds onto Neil until he’s managed to convince himself to let go

and then he doesn’t look back

he calls 911 to come get the body

and he calls Wymack

and he calls Bee

but these are just motions, cursory actions that mean nothing

Andrew doesn’t go to the funeral, because what’s the point

Neil isn’t there, and he’s not going to give a shit

funerals are not for the dead, and Andrew has no intention of watching other people cry over a man who…

he’s just not going to do it

he stays at Palmetto because of his promise to Kevin

but he’s done with Exy, and he’s done with things that remind him of Neil

he goes to see Betsy, but he doesn’t talk to her

he just wants to sit quietly with someone who doesn’t give him a rough look of pity every time he’s near

he just wants an hour per week to mourn Neil in peace

Andrew notices when the team stops mourning Neil, when they move on with their lives

a month is all they gave him before picking themselves up

it’s what Neil would have wanted

hell, he wouldn’t have wanted them to mourn at all

but it still makes Andrew hate all of them more

he mourns Neil for the rest of the school year

mourns until he graduates

and then he sheds himself of Neil like a ghost

and he leaves that ghost in Palmetto, with Neil’s unspoken plea for Andrew to live being the only thing Andrew holds onto

#jostxnneil #the foxhole court #tfc #andreil #angst #cancer #character death #i'M CRYING #COURTNEY WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS #mine #my writing

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