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#why am i at my lowest rn

lenaluthoring · 1 year

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thesis is due tmr

#feeling really insecure about my thesis ngl #why am i at my lowest rn #📜

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todayisafridaynight · 10 months

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What is an Arakawa Family Enjoyer if not a sadomasochist right... BUT I hope family fun time makes for a nice escape from the horrors :) as always, take care! I will of course be looking forward to it!

I've been knocking around the idea of Potential flashback interactions for a bit only because Arakawa's line being "You only live once, so live without regrets." always reminded me of that last phone call between Arakawa and Jo in Soliloquy... where he tells Jo to make his own decision if it comes down to choosing between him and Masato and oughghghgh... I'm sure he's (probably?) talking to Ichiban but GOD. Had to have those kinds of talks with Jo too right...

ALSO ABOUT RGGO ARAKAWA YEAH GKLSHGKJLJ he has immense Distinguished Older Gentleman swag for being only 32 in that scene 😭😭

it's on brand somehow i dont know HOW it just is (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)(;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) in any case... i AM almost done with my silly little thing (AND I MEAN IT THIS TIME I JUST HAVE TO COLOR) so... yay :)

HE DEF HAD THOSE KIND OF TALKS WITH JO those fics might only be fics but to me they were secrets from the rgg vault..... listen if arakawa can already be warning jo about joining the yakuza while he's joining the yakuza then i believe he can have them Real Talk talks with him too after the fact......

THAT'S WHAT I MEAAAN it's so fucked up... i get why they had to get rid of it i really do but i miss it.....

#snap chats #lit just opened my Color Refs file. and by that i mean im color pickin from that Empty Next comic since i can get all the colors from ther #now why did As The World Caves In have to come on im going to kermit sewerside ACTUALLY #you cant be an arakawa family enjoyer without having a mental breakdown at least once a day i PROMISE and this song is NOT HELPING #but real..... surely arakawa had noticed over the years how much jo adores masato... to SOME extent...#if he can 'joke' bout jo bein softer on masato sometimes then i know it to be true.... im going to scream...#that aint EVEN BEGINNING just. Joining The Yakuza In General hold on im going to make myself throw up #cause you dont JUST join the yakuza- i mean. No Reminders on how arakawa got to where he did after The Horrors #if i start thinking of Sailor Suit and Machine Gun im gonna throw up oh my god DO YOU THINK #DO YOU THINK ON THE LOWEST OF KEYS ARAKAWA THINKS LIKE THAT.. JUST A LIL BIT OR.. YK WHAT I MEAN...#am i being delusional..... maybe so.... i just know im having vibes and feelings rn...#i need to finish this thing i have to go before i drive myself insane jLKEVLKWJ #anyway uhhhhhhhhhhhh Unfairly Attractive Suburban Father arakawa is real to me and will live on forever despite the wardrobe swap

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theforgottendaydreamer · 2 years

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i don't like when people get added to "old" groupchats that are for close friends only... like... i get that everyone wants to include everyone but, idk, sometimes people just need to tell people to find another group / people have to find another group on their own yknow??

#i am at my lowest rn #like life is good but idk the smallest 'problems' just... idk... hurt #i dont have anything against this person. but idek her. idk why she is now part of the gc

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unknown-genshin-fan · 11 months

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How Obey me boys react to getting their vibrator controlled by MC

Characters: Lucifer, Mammon, Beel, Belphie, Satan, Leviathan, Asmodeus, Barbatos, Solomon TW: Usage of Vibrator, mentioned of Degrading and praising, mentioned of overstimulation and edging Lucifer- We will gladly be rude to Lucifer so why not, turn the vibrator on the highest setting, edge him during the earliest of the morning and don't let him cum just leave him there to deal with his own problem Mammon- Mostly keep it in the medium settings but if he's in that bratty/cocky attitude keep it on the highest setting and just overstimulate him later on while praising him Beel- Beel is such a sweetheart so keep it in the lowest setting and praise him every time you see him like call him a good boy and just praise him Belphie- Keep it one medium but if he is sleepy turn it back on so his sleepiness is gone, overstimulating him + praising him will make him so happy yet tired too Satan- Turn it on the medium settings when his either reading a book and just watch how flustered he looks but he would deny it, teasingly whisper soft praises into his ear and watched him turn into a red tomato Leviathan: Turn it on to the max settings when his playing a game and watch him get completely distracted when his done just overstimulate him and he's gonna be too tired to even play anymore Barbatos: Keep it on the lowest setting so he can focus on his duties but praise him time to time so he can be happy, but if you wanna be mean put it on the medium settings and watch him go to you trying to make you put it in the lowest setting Solomon- I will gladly be so rude to this man. keep it on the highest setting while you overstimulate/edge him, degrade or praise him and watch him turn into a sobbing whimpering moaning mess (Bye Anons! I was kinda rushing this since I had to study for my finals exam😭) (Love you guys and tysm for the support, likes and the follows) (I will post more tomorrow I am kinda exhausted rn sry)

#sub obey me #sub lucifer #sub mammon #sub solomon #sub barbatos #sub leviathan #sub satan #dom reader #top reader #sub character

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jinkicake · 11 months

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Ghosting

Being thrown into the past is hard and you miss your demon more than anything [orrrrr basically MC realizes these nightbringer!demons are not their own].

Barbatos, Lucifer, Mammon, Satan x Reader

A/N: I’ve been writing and writing and enjoying myself while writing but then I go to edit/reread what I wrote and I hate it.... I’m sorry, you all will just have to deal with me freeballing my editing... Also, why am I like sooo obsessed with Satan rn

// Nightbringer spoilers (like lesson one shit lol)

WC - 2,522

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Barbatos

“Why have you come to see me?”

The skepticism in Barbatos’ eyes makes you frown, despite being right in front of you, he seems so far away that it physically hurts.

There’s a feeling in his gut, something that piques his interest. It’s as if he should know you but, does not.

You could answer him truthfully and explain what the current date means to the both of you but, you refrain from doing so. Although Barbatos has a special place in his heart for anniversaries and important dates, you don’t know if this Barbatos is even aware of what today is. You choose to ask him a question of your own.

“Can you answer something for me?” Faking your confidence can only get you so far and before Barbatos has a chance to confirm or deny, you press on. “Is it true that you can see into the past and future?” You nervously toy with your hands as Barbatos stares at you, he raises a brow and quietly thinks to himself. He’s skeptical of your motives, you can tell by the way he slightly narrows his eyes.

Eventually, he answers you.

“Yes, my powers allow it.” His answer is dangerous, it fills your body with hope as your eyes widen momentarily. You can barely keep your excitement at bay, does this mean he recognizes you? You from the future?

“Then you know what today is and you know who I am, right?” You can’t help the way you step toward him, light on your toes while holding yourself back from reaching out to him.

The step back Barbatos takes causes a disappointing weight to crash onto your shoulders. He looks at you with concern and confusion, he looks at you as if he doesn’t recognize a word you’re saying.

“I fear that I only use my powers when Diavolo requests it,” Barbatos answers slowly, taking his time to clear the air. “I can’t say that I remember you or today’s date, I do apologize.”

“You’re a mere attendant, are you not?” His genuine curiosity feels dull as it pierces your heart, clawing through your chest to meet the center. You find it hard to breathe, he doesn’t remember. Even with his powers, this is not your demon.

“I am,” You find yourself whispering, if you speak any louder you might just break. The demon continues to silently stare at you and watches your vivid reactions. He blinks for a few moments while waiting for you to carry on with the point of this conversation but, you never do. You look stuck in your own head.

“Are you someone I should remember?” He tries carefully but, makes no move to get closer to you. The butler keeps a respectable distance between the two of you while trying to understand this entire interaction.

You bite the inside of your cheek.

“I’m no one important,” You smile but, Barbatos notices that it’s a bitter expression. He watches as you quietly excuse yourself and finds himself following as you head for the door.

His presence is too overwhelming and when you stupidly glance back at him, Barbatos clears his throat before speaking again.

“Well, would you like to stay for some tea?” His invitation confuses you and you realize with a crushing feeling just how little you actually know the demon. “I might not remember today but, it seems dearly important to you.”

To us. You want to correct him because Barbatos would never forget your anniversary but, all you can do is nod in acceptance.

“Good, I would not like it if you spent the day alone.” His kindness still reaches you, finding the lowest parts of your heart. Barbatos can reach you no matter the time.

You can only hope that you’ll be able to do the same.

Lucifer

“Why are you here?” The anger in Lucifer’s voice almost makes you flinch. You haven’t been this uncomfortable in his presence in a long time, it almost reminds you of your time first living in the Devildom. The oldest demon has always been the hardest to get to and your heart sinks at the thought of him being so displeased by your entire being once again.

You want to help him, whether he likes it or not.

“I wanted to see you.” You answer truthfully and momentarily look around his office. Not much has changed but, there are a few things here and there that catch your eye. There’s a lack of pictures and trinkets, his records are not in their proper positions. It seems he has not made this space his own yet.

Lucifer narrows his eyes at your staring, observing, and he loudly places his pen down on the desk to gain your attention once more. He glares at you now, maintaining eye contact as you try to keep your heart sane.

“If you are going to lie, at least make it believable,” His lips almost curl up into a sneer, an angry expression that makes your chest ache. How can you get through to him? How were you able to do it before? The memory of a time that seems like a lifetime ago slips your mind, you can’t think of any way to make Lucifer trust you.

Your eyes carefully run over his annoyed expression as he starts to work on his paperwork again. The wrinkles once by the corner of his eyes are gone and the grey that used to tint his hair is nowhere to be seen. Those features you cherish have not yet appeared. This Lucifer is not yours. He’s a younger demon now and has the appetite of one who could never stomach the patience of dealing with you.

You boldly take a step forward.

“Can I help you with that?” You try to look as nonchalant as possible, keeping a neutral expression as your heart flutters with hope. Lucifer writes a few more words before glancing up at you, the lack of emotion on his face nearly crushes your hope. This Lucifer is great at masking his emotions, almost better than your own but, you can still see the hesitance in his eyes.

“You wish to aid me in this paperwork?” He sounds as if he is in disbelief by the action, nearly scoffing at your request. Regardless of the time period, Lucifer is still overworked. You nod and at the silence on Lucifer’s end, you take another step forward to sit in the chair on the opposite side of his desk.

The demon watches you carefully, almost as if he expects you to do something out of the ordinary. He doesn’t know what to expect, you could physically jump him and that would make more sense than what you’re implying now. His red eyes don’t leave your own as he hands you a piece of paper and the feeling of his gloved fingers brushing against your own nearly makes you gasp. You’ve missed him, you’ve missed this.

“I work in silence and expect it to remain that way.” His aloof and cold personality, a mere wall, will not fool you. Quietly, you smile to yourself and reach for one of the pens by his hand.

“You should put on a record,” There’s a hum in your voice as you recommend this to the demon, it’s a knowing tone that shows you know him too well. He narrows his eyes again before ultimately shaking his head, as if he would listen to you.

But, he can’t deny how tempting the idea sounds. Maybe the two of you are more alike than he thought.

Mammon

“Keep your nose out of my business.” Mammon has never looked menacing to you before. His kind eyes and soft expressions make it hard for you to take him as anything other than the compassionate demon that he is.

You don’t recognize this Mammon in front of you.

It’s to be expected, being thrown back into time and all but, it’s still confusing. Mammon was always kind to you, even when he pretended not to be. He cared for you and looked out for you even when he acted as if he could care less about what happened to you.

“Why are you still standing there? Go.” The way he is trying to shoo you off now, how he brushes past you with rough shoulders freezes you entirely. Out of all the demons to piss off, you’re desperately scared to upset Mammon. The Mammon you know, the one you trust and hold dear, has never attacked you before. He’s never lunged or so much as made a serious threat to your well-being.

You still believe this to be true, no matter his age or the status of your relationship but, you feel hesitant. This young demon makes you feel timid and you hate it.

“Mammon, don’t.” You tightly grab his wrist with your hand and wrap your fingers around the limb. His skin burns you, lighting your entire body on fire as a phantom feeling returns to you. You’ve missed touching him, being near him. “Going in there alone is a bad idea, trust me.”

Too quickly, he yanks his wrist out of your hold and stares at you like you’ve made a threat to his life. Confusion clouds his readable features as his body tenses up, the poor demon now looks a tiny bit flustered.

The realization makes you feel warm all over.

“Yeah? What do you know about it?”

Then Mammon’s cold tone drenches you in ice water.

If he wants to be stubborn, you know perfectly well how to match him.

“I know more than you do. You go down there and there’s a good chance you’re not going to come back up.” You should have planned beforehand and thought of a better excuse to keep Mammon from going after Cerberus. Not that he knows about the beast that lingers down there, Lucifer isn’t even familiar with that pet yet. Mammon scoffs.

“Like I’m going to listen to you.” He turns on his feet again, more than ready to descend down to the lower level of the house but you grab him once more. This time you yank the back of his jacket and muster all the strength you can to pull him back.

He barely moves and stills all over. The lack of reaction from him scares you, you’d rather him scream at you and complain. His silence is something you’re not used to.

Sometimes it slips your mind that Mammon is the second oldest and strongest.

“I really don’t want you to go down there, please, Mammon.” You hope that your genuine worry for his well-being is conveyed through this plea. He’s never able to turn you away when you ask him something like this, he always gives in without a second thought because he’s your first-

“Get off of me.” Mammon clicks his tongue as he rolls his eyes, his shoulder snaps back against your hand and instantly the physical connection is broken. He glances back at you and his eyes nearly widen at the concern etched into your features. The demon tries to ignore it, he shakes his head and tries to push the odd feelings that come to the surface back down. He thinks to himself that just this once, he can give in to you. “Whatever, I forgot my wallet in my room.”

Satan

“Who do you think you are?” Satan has never looked angrier in his life, you’re sure of it. His wrath is something that you’re used to, you know how to deal with it and deflect it. You’ve memorized all the ways to calm him down and help him feel like himself again. The anger and frustration, pure hatred, of this demon is something you are too familiar with.

But, it becomes something completely new when it’s directed at you.

You’ve only been at the brute force of Satan’s anger a few times, less than you can count on one hand. Those moments should have prepared you for something like this but, in truth, you’re out of practice. You can’t even remember what Satan looked like angry before this.

“Are you deaf? Answer me.” His strong hands grip your shoulders and continue to press you into the wall of the stairway. He looks you over and the anger in his features cloud his judgment, making it impossible to see the scared expression on your face. You try to do as he asks but, when your lips part and you go to speak, your confidence falls flat. Not a single noise leaves your throat, you’re left gaping at him like a fish and nothing could make Satan angrier.

He growls in frustration, low and deep in his chest while gritting his teeth at you.

“Where did you put my fucking book?” His demand makes your eyebrows shoot to your hairline, you had almost forgotten this was all about a ‘fucking cat book’.

“I-I don’t remember,” You finally breathe out and the moment you do, you wish you could take it back.

Satan’s eye twitches, a movement in his cheek before he slowly turns his head to the side.

“You mean to tell me you lost my book?” His nails start to dig into your skin now as he lifts you off the ground. “You lowlife, pathetic-“

“I can give you something better to read!” You suddenly shout, bracing yourself for his wrath as you squeeze your eyes shut. It never comes. Satan slowly lowers you to the ground and watches you carefully with his piercing green eyes.

“What could possibly be better?” He asks carefully, cautiously as if he is sizing up your words. You have to make an impression now, you know this to be a fact.

“It’s a drama, one where you never know what is going to happen next,” You start to explain one of his favorite novels, unsure if it is even out at this point in time but, it’s a book he once loved to share with you.

“I find that hard to believe,” His eyes narrow slightly as one hand leaves your bicep to cup his chin. Satan looks deep in thought and urges you to continue with a slight nod.

“The two main leads are not supposed to work, everything in the universe is pitting them against one another but they still somehow manage to persevere,” You find yourself unable to look away from Satan as you explain the book, as you detail all the reasons why he enjoys it. The Satan you know, the one who greatly cares for you, always used to compare your relationship to the one in the novel. He even went as far as to say that your relationship was even stronger because, above all else, he always had his love to prove his feelings for you.

This Satan in front of you contemplates your words but, cannot hide the curiosity on his face. He tightly grips your bicep and begins to drag you in the direction of the library. Needless to say, your determination piqued his curiosity.

“Come, you must show me this novel.”

#Barbatos x reader #Lucifer x reader #mammon x reader #satan x reader #obey me x reader #obey me x you #obey me x y/n #obey me nightbringer #barbatos x y/n #lucifer x you #mammon x y/n #satan x you

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1800-page-not-found · 9 months

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Being drunk and complaining how you think your bf/gf is prettier than you (genshin men+women x fem reader) PART 3

ITS THE HARBINGERSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Not doing scaramouche cuz i already did in part 2

Dottore, Columbina, Sandrone x reader (seperate)

TW: implied unhealthy relationship (for dottore bc that man does not treat anyone like a human being, i have mixed feelings about that guy), and id like to state that i do NOT support toxic relationships.

Making another part for the other harbingers bc im really sleepy rn and I just wanna give you guys something because I havent posted in a long time.

The next part contains Pantalone, Tartaglia, Arlecchino x reader (seperate)

Maybe i'll do Signora, Pierro, and Capatino? but Capatino wears a mask??? wtv lol

Please note that you may not like "[name]"s personality, as it may differ from yours.

You had met Zandik when he was a scholar at the Akademiya, before he was expelled for his crimes and immoral acts. Fortunately, unlike the last girl who had fancied him, Sohreh, he did not mutilate your body, because somehow in that rather small and close to non existing heart of his, was you.

But unfortunately, you could not escape his unhinged mindset. You relied too much on the Akasha System. When he did get expelled, you followed with him. After all, thats what the Akasha showed which was best for you. Hundreds of years went by, and he became a powerful harbinger. He still gave you freedom, to some extent. So how did you wind up at his office, crying and drunk?

"Zandik" You cried.

You were ultimately weak in the mind due to your heavy dependency that Dottore had created for you. He smiled as you cried into his shoulder, dampening his clothes.

"Yes dear? What happened for you to come crying to me?" He was your white knight.

You quickly learned that somehow, dottore would always save you, relieving you of your agony. Like he did with the ruin machines when they found Sohreh's body.

"O-one of your clones said you didn't love me and you had another woman…" you hiccup in between your words.

"My dear, do not fret, there are no other women in my life besides you. Why would I require someone else? Those clones can be quite troublesome, and not all of them are friendly. I apologize for their behavior." He soothed you, patting your back. 'Yes, yes...let it all out,' he thought. His clones were doing well, their original sole purpose was to create insecurities and confusion in your mind.

"But-But, I'm not even that pretty, even you're prettier than me! Theres plenty of women who are better than me-what if you dont love me one day?" You mumble, your head still lying on his shoulder.

"Darling, I have to say, I am surprised by your irrational behavior. My affection for you is undeniable, and the fact that you would suggest otherwise is quite hurtful..." Your eyes widened.

Oh, how could you hurt him like that?! After everything he's done for you?...

"No-no! I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you, I-"

"Do you trust me [name]?" He cuts you off.

"Huh? Of course I do!"

"Good, now please can we move on? If we continue to talk about this, my heart will ache even more." He starts to make an expression that he knows will make you feel guilty. You've really fallen deeper into the rabbit hole now.

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Columbina had saved you at your lowest, and you had devoted your every fiber of yourself to her. You decided to get stronger, your sole motivation being paying back your benefactor. Well, that was until the angel-like harbinger said you could pay her back by forming a relationship with her.

You did start off as friends, but that slowly spiraled into a more intimate relationship. You promised to be there for her whenever and wherever, but really, does the harbinger who's ranked third really need protecting?... I mean, you're so much weaker than her, how can you protect her when she's in danger?

That thought slowly grew in your mind-you can't help but just let it all out when drunk on the fine vodka Columbina had brought back for you and her to enjoy...until well, you drank the whole bottle.

You stared at the empty bottle in your hand that once held the highest quality of vodka.

"[name], my dear, what's on your mind?" Columbina spoke softly, her voice sounding like a lovely melody in your ears.

"Mmmm...I don't wanna bother youuu..." You dragged out your words, slurring your speech.

Columbina stood up from the couch and took the bottle out from your hands and gently placed it on the glass coffee table, making a small 'kling' sound. She sat back down and held your hands, which were rather cold so she decided to warm them up.

It was strange how she always kept her eyes closed, but no matter what always aware of her surroundings. This only increased your insecurity, after all, only one with great strength could do such things...and you couldn't.

"[name]." She let go of your hands and placed hers on your cheek, and kissed you softly. "Your thoughts will never be a bother all right? I'll always be there to protect you and be by your side." She smiled at you warmly.

You started to cry, the alcohol heightening your emotions. "That's-that's the thing!" You let out a sob, wiping your tears. "I-I don't want to just rely on you, I want you to rely on me too! But, I'm so much weaker than you and, and you excel in everything! You're smart, strong, independent, and so, so much prettier than me and everyone, you deserve so much better than me I-" Your rant was cut short when Columbina kissed you again softly.

"Oh, [name], I never knew you felt this way, I want you to know that I rely on you every single day, there is not a single moment where I don't rely on you. I know you probably don't believe it, but you make me feel so happy. I don't care if you think that I outshine you, because in my eyes you're the most beautiful and amazing person in the entirety of Teyvat. You're perfect in my eyes just the way you are, and no one else can take that spot." Her voice really soothed you, and as she spoke, you stopped crying.

"R-really? You mean it?..." You sniffled, wiping your tears off your face.

"Yes, now please, there's no need to cry anymore alright?" she kissed your forehead and held you in a warm embrace on the couch.

"Mhm…alright, thank you, I love you…" You rubbed your eyes, tired from crying and fell asleep in Columbina's arms.

Once you were sound asleep, Columbina picked you up, carrying you in her arms bridal style and set you gently on the bed, making sure you're comfortable before crawling into the bed and cuddling with you.

The next day, you woke up, eyes puffy and not a single memory of last night. When you asked your lover, she just giggled and walked away, leaving you confused.

--------

Sandrone was an interesting character. When you first met, you had actually died. Well more like on the verge of death. Somehow, for some reason, she had saved you, as she had basically turned you into part automaton.

You were supposedly her 'puppet', but, puppets don't act this human. You were crazy for confessing your love to her, the harbinger who was known for only caring about her own works, and having a god awful personality to come with it.

Well, fortunately for you, you did count as one of her works, so perhaps that was the reason why she accepted your confession and you two started being in a relationship?...you still couldn't wrap your mind about this, you were really happy to say the least.

Today, you had practically begged her to come with you to have a picnic and stargaze. She was being quite stubborn. But of course, she couldn't outmatch your own stubbornness and you, thus she gave in.

You were so excited, yet here you were, sitting on the blanket, extremely drunk. You smiled at her, all giggly and bubbly as you wrapped yourself around her arm, hugging her.

Sandrone sighed and frowned, she stopped her work just for this? I mean, it was you... (She'd never admit to loving spending time with you, she's gotta keep her reputation up... but everyone knows, even you, that she has an extremely soft spot for you (and only you.))

"[name]...quit staring at me like that!" sandrone flicked your forehead, earning an 'owwww' from you.

After recovering from the ferocious attack, you laughed and smiled. "But you're just sooooo pretty! I can't keep my eyes off you, the prettiest girl in Teyvat!"

You lowered your voice to a whisper "I think you're prettier than me, all the other harbingers, and the Tsaritsa- Ow!"

She slapped the back of your head. "I will not allow you to speak of her majesty the Tsaritsa like that, [name]!"

She crossed her arms and turned her head away from you, looking angry.

Although, her words seemed to contradict her statement just now. She spoke quietly under her breath, "plus, youre the most prettiest girl in Teyvat, [name]..."

You perked up, perhaps having heightened senses was a good thing. "I heard that!" You shouted and smiled. "You really think that-"

"W-what?! No! You must be imagining things!" She yelled back at you. "Damn it, I shouldn't have heightened your sense of hearing too! Ugh!"

All you did was laugh teasingly at her frustration and embarrassment getting caught being nice, specifically to you. Until you blacked out from the alcohol. That reallllllllyyyy freaked her out, as she frantically carried you back home. (Well, the only reason she showed her 'nicer' side was really due to the only witness being her modified automaton.)

You had slept for a whole day before waking up at noon, with a god awful hangover, causing you to throw up.

(Sandrone ordered one of her machines to take care of you in secret and report to her every hour about your status.)

#genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact #dottore x reader #il dottore x reader #il dottore #columbina x reader #columbina #sandrone #sandrone x reader #harbingers x reader #harbinger x reader #dottore

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lovesick-feelings · 1 year

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UPDATE: This is just a repost for the tags. The original reblog will be kept up! Original AU made by @soleilxe please go check out their blog they are a genius (๑♡ ⌓♡๑)

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I had to get this one out in case the DLC mysteriously dropped out of nowhere! (ʘᗩʘ’)

I absolutely love this AU so much! I am telling you rn that when I first read this I couldn't stop thinking about it and i was so sad that it was never expanded! So I ended up drawing a small comic (this is like my first time doing something like this so sorry if its messy! ) and that was supposed to be it but I ended up writing a short fic as well (⌒_⌒;) Btw this is just my spin on things so sorry if I made any errors!

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"Irreparable," the company claimed. It made no sense to Sun and Moon. From what they know the incident occurred the night an unexpected visitor came by. On the morning management came in, they were met with their main star missing, busted animatronics, and a disheveled mall. To think that the boy they met that fateful night caused all this was… strange, to say the least. At least they were perfectly fine! Yeah, they had a bit of trouble avoiding the flames resulting in slight damage but they were working! With a few repairs and replacements, everything would be right as rain! However, that didn't stop Fazbear Mall from permanently shutting its doors.

Even after conversations they overheard between co-workers, workers leaving as soon as they arrived with salvaged valuables, and the final click of the lock shutting the doors permanently, Sun was in denial.

"They'll come back for us! We'll just have to wait till then!" Although Moon was still troubled by the events that night, he still held onto hope.

"Yes, yes you're right. In the meantime, we should clean up~"

"That's the spirit!" Sun cheered.

The first few months played out like this: waiting and cleaning up whatever they could in anticipation that the company or someone would return. However, those beliefs slowly slipped away with each passing month. Sun tried so hard to keep them distracted from their situation but it’s difficult when you wake up in the same hell every day. Nowadays when he tries to comfort Moon every word comes out unsteady. If only he could make them more believable.

Moon couldn't handle it. It was all his fault. If he'd just fought back none of this would have happened. But how could you fight against something you didn’t know was coming? The night he became corrupted haunted him endlessly. It didn’t help that they also became more beat-up after several failed escapes he made. Though he was grateful for his brother's support, it felt more like lies and empty promises as time passed. Failure after failure, shame, and guilt built up. It was always at his lowest when he felt the same corrupt urges he had that fateful night back.

"SHUT IT! JUST SHUT IT! IT'S THE SAME THING EVERY SINGLE DAY! NO ONE IS COMING FOR US!!"

"...sorry" Sun whimpered.

It was always too late by the time he snapped back to his senses. It was like he was stuck in an endless loop of mistakes. All he could do was apologize and blame himself again.

With no business and no people to tend to days have been spent pacing and cleaning the decrepit daycare. Today was no different. Sun wiped his hands in the desk cabinet causing thick layers of dust to fly in every direction. Every item out of place has already been put back in its original spot long ago. All there was left was the tedious task of wiping away dust.

Moon never understood why he was so keen on getting into the smallest crevices. He couldn’t deny he had his fastidious tendencies but Sun always went above him. He always claimed it was a good way to pass time but Moon knew better. Even with the new body allowing both of them to be present at once Sun still was never the biggest fan of shutting down for long periods. Normally, Moon would push him into resting but Sun seemed to be in a better mood today and he didn't want to disturb him.

The crash of crumbling rubble made them jump from their spot. It was loud enough to hear across the daycare. Their eyes were drawn to the ceiling and they noticed a huge hole. Sun frowned. Was the building finally caving down?

"Must've been a rat"

"whAT?-" Sun choked out.

"What do you mean by a rat? A rat does not cause a hole in the ceiling to collapse!" Moon's only response was a shrug. From where they were it looked like it was around the ball pit area.

"Let’s check it to see-"

"NO"

"WhaT WHy?" Sun’s voice glitched from surprise. He didn’t expect such a sudden response.

"Because it's most likely nothing. The building is just deteriorating again…" He stated plain and simple.

"Well yes but-” Sun paused for a moment, “B-but we may as well check to make sure nothing is wrong!" Moon didn't respond. It’s going to be nothing again and he really wasn’t up for disappointment. Knowing Sun, they were bound to end up there regardless.

"Okay," he grumbled. Moon could feel Sun slightly bounce up. He sighed as they walked around the desk and towards the ball pit. As they continue their journey, Sun can sense Moon slowing down.

"Moon, what's wrong?-"

"Shhh listen" Sun paused. He didn't know what he was trying to listen to but he did so anyway. There was something in the distance. Were those… footsteps? The bots trudged closer to the sound quietly. For the first time in ages, their sensors picked up someone.

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"Dammit..."

This was your fifth time wiping your clothes off debris. You knew buildings like this had weak floors but you didn't expect it to give in that easily! You would say you’ve been through worse but you’ve never been through something like this. You’re honestly not sure if watching Youtube videos of failed urban exploring counts as an experience.

This was supposed to be your biggest project yet. Entering the abandoned Pizzaplex had been done before but nobody had ever explored past the ground floor. You had one goal: Record as much exploration as your camera storage will allow, upload all footage to your channel, and satisfy the hungry viewers with the possibility of getting that sweet YouTube money. What you hadn’t anticipated was falling through the floor and being trapped in one of the areas 30 minutes into your exploration. Now you have to find a way out.

You looked back at the ball pit and shuddered, thinking of what might have happened if it hadn't stopped your fall. Walking over the chipped rainbow bridge you pulled out your flashlight and observed what was in front of you. You had to admit the place didn’t age as badly as you thought! It has its flaws from the fire but you were surprised by how much stuff still survived.

The bright cheery colors that once painted this daycare have dulled to darker hues. Somehow the kid's chairs were neatly pushed into the tables and toy barrels were still stacked on top of each other. You looked over the massive play structure. They were still standing strong and tall beside some large dark spots in some areas which you assumed was also caused by the fire. A few of the giant mascot cutouts were hanging on the sides while others that had fallen were carefully propped up against the walls. When you shined your light on one of the aisles, the light didn't reach much distance.

"Geez this place is huge..."

You took a few steps before hearing a scuffle. For a second, you assumed it was some small animal. At least that's what you hoped it was. You were about to turn back when you heard it again. You whipped your flashlight in the sound’s direction.

"Hello!?" You kinda cringed at how hoarse your voice came out. You darted your flashlight for a bit until you caught it. You froze. How long was it standing there? You pointed your light at the animatronic.

Even from a distance, you could tell how huge the animatronic were. A split separated the two sides, which gave the appearance of two heads. Among them, one half had dark yellow skin and a crown that resembled rays from the sun, while the other half had darker blue skin with a nightcap resembling a moon. Each had two pairs of arms. Their clothes or at least what remained of them were tattered. Parts of their endoskeleton are exposed most noticeably on their face. Their glowing eyes pierced your soul. What felt like hours of silence were finally broken when their soft chuckles turned into hysterical laughter.

"NEW FRIEND!!"

"NOPE! NOPE! NOPE! NOPE!" You bolted in the opposite direction of the playground. As you ran you tried dodging as much debris as you could without falling over. As you approached the wall you could see large wooden doors. That's the exit! You weren't able to slow down your speed in time causing you to slam your arm against the door. Thanks to your adrenaline pumping you couldn't feel a thing. You tried pulling open the door only to hear clicking noises. IT’S FUCKING LOCKED!!!

“New friend!”

“New friend~”

“New friend!”

Their calls were growing closer.

You looked around until you crawled into one of the kiddie slides. You climbed your way up, lying flat on your stomach. You were pretty high up. There was no way they could see you as long as you didn't lean against the bars. The metal grating grows louder as the robot approaches where you once stood.

"N-new friend please cOME BaCK!!" He wailed in distress like a mother trying to find her lost infant.

“Shhh you’re going to scare them~” You gritted your teeth. Yeah, like they hadn’t scared you to death already. Unlike the other voice, this one was hushed and calm. As if it was a situation he knew all too well. The other voice gasped and quietly apologized.

"Where are you, new friend?~" There was intense silence. They let out what sounded like a disgruntled sigh before the scraping faded away. Once you were sure they were gone you took a breath of relief. You didn't realize you were holding your breath the whole time. Your heartbeat was so loud you were afraid they would hear it. 'What even was that…?' You tried to recollect your thoughts. Everything happened so fast that you couldn't comprehend what was happening. When you tried thinking back about what happened all your mind could replay was the moment you stared into their ghostly irises.

'Okay, that's enough…’ You sat up. Another deep breath calmed your heart. There has to be another way out of here. You peer through the cage. From your vantage point, you couldn’t get much. There were only two things you could see from where you were: the front desk and the children's pit in front of it. You had to get a better view but how? You sure as hell wasn’t about to sneak down again. You looked towards the bridge connecting the two playgrounds. Despite its aging, it still looked sturdy enough to cross. Maybe this was your chance? You didn’t want to risk getting caught but you also didn’t want to die either. Well, there's only one way to find out…

A small knock made you recoil back. You turned your head to the slide you came from. No. There’s no way they could get in here. With how big and clunky the animatronic look, they’d probably fall apart the moment you hit them.

Upon getting up, you were met with jelly legs. You're gonna have to crawl this one out. You navigated carefully through the colorful maze. The number of dead ends you ran into got ridiculous. Sometimes you felt like you were crawling in circles until you finally found it. You silently cheered for yourself. The bridge was only a turn away!

Something wrapped around your ankle before you took another step. Your head spins to see several pairs of hands gripping your ankle. You couldn't scream before those hands brutally dragged your body down the slide. The suddenness of it all caused your head to bang against a turn. You hit the floor with a loud thud holding your head. All you could do was lay limp on the foam flooring. What even happened? You could feel your head throbbing from the pain. A giant shadow loomed over your figure. Rough, metal arms wrap themselves around you in a cold embrace.

“Found you, friend, ~” The two laughed together making a strange combination of a cackle and a giggle. You wish you could fight back but you feel so nauseous and weak. All you could do was stand there awkwardly as you got crushed. Dread overwhelms your body.

“We were so worried about you, friend! You shouldn’t run away like that! I-I mean what if you got lost or h-URT!?” Their grasp on you was tightened as he spoke. The voice coming from what you assumed was the sun’s side made you tense up. His voice made your ears start ringing. Was he always this panicky?

“Now, now there’s no need for that anymore.” His hand cupped your cheek tilting it so you could face them.

“It won’t happen again~” The drop in his voice made it sound like a death threat.

“Besides-" He resumed back to himself.

"Think of all the fun we'll have together~!” Sun’s eyes lit up.

“Oh, you’re right! We have so many activities we could do now that we’re together!” They easily pull you up and swing your body around.

“We’ll have soooooo much fun~!” Moon chuckled

“We could play charades!”

“And tell stories~!”

“Oh oh, we could finger paint too! I haven’t done that in so long!!” The two exchanged enthusiastic opinions about everything they planned.

You honestly felt like you would puke. It was too loud. Your head was throbbed and your whole body was aching. Everything felt so overwhelming. You didn’t care about exploring anymore, you just wanted to go back to the comfort of your home. You tried holding back the tears brimming in your eyes. The robots tensed when they heard soft hiccups. Hot tears rolled down your cheeks. Your body was lowered, bringing you closer together. Moon’s eyes widened while Sun’s eyelids drooped when they realized you were crying.

“Friend, what's wrong?” Your cry turned into a full-blown sob. Sun and Moon quickly sat down. Laying you on their lap, they gently rocked you back and forth with their arms propping you up. Your sobbing could be heard throughout the whole daycare all the while Sun and Moon tried calming you down. They rubbed circles around your back whispering reassurances.

“It’s alright~”

“You’re safe now!”

“There’s no need to cry~” Their hands whipped your tears away. Your body becomes less tense.

“Did we do this?” You opened your eyes realizing they were looking at your head. Their concern was evident. You flinched when their fingers grazed the area you hit.

“Oh sorry! I-I-I didn't meAn tO do THat! WE-”

“Sun.” Moon interrupted

“We can fix this. As long as we follow instructed procedures they will be fine~”

“Oh right right! Sorry about that, friend” You could feel their fingers tenderly stroking your hair. They cradled your body while whispering soothing words.

You could’ve easily pushed them away and made a run for them, but you didn’t have the motivation to do so. You were beyond tired to fight back. It was getting harder to hold up heavy eyelids and the animatronic also seemed to realize this.

“Shhh rest~ You will feel better after a good sleep~” You had to admit their voice was comforting. This couldn’t be so bad right? They seemed nice enough. So it was okay to shut your eyes for a bit. You lifted your eyes one more time to see theirs. If only you were more awake you would’ve caught their lovesickness plastered on their faces gazing at you. Maybe then you’d realized sooner the situation you were now trapped in. You felt two soft taps on your forehead, mocking a kiss before slipping into darkness.

“Goodnight, Starlight~”

“Goodnight, Sunshine!”

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ceruleancattail · 3 months

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So... Who is ur fav in each respective dorm?

OMG THANK YOU FOR ASKING THIS ALRIGHT OK!!! ANON I COULD HUG YOU RN-

Always super happy for any chance for me to ramble-

I’m going to assume you mean in a general platonic sense, because my answers for that differ from the characters I love in a romantic sense-

Spoiler warning!

Also, these are all totally my own feelings, and if you disagree with them, it’s completely alright!

Alright, my favourite characters per dorm and why:

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Heartsabyul dorm: Ace Trappola

Alright, let me be real. The first time he appeared in the game? I wanted to sock his face in. Like, my dude, I am literally just cleaning the floor. Why are you getting all up in my face for, jerkass?

Which already shows how well written his character was. I was ready to reach into the screen and throttle his neck. Now that? That’s a raw, visceral reaction to what essentially is a string of text and a jpg. I immediately liked him as a character.

I do love, love, love the way how’s he’s written as this dude with blustering confidence, a joker with an insane amount of cards up his sleeves… well, at least the Ace he wants to portray. In the story, he has his dorky little mess-ups and they make him a little realistic in my opinion.

Also him making fun of his friends? That’s very real of him, honestly. Although for all the jokes he cracks, he does care about the friendships he fosters in Night Raven College, as seen from the end of Scarabia’s chapter, where he actually comes running with Deuce to Yuu’s position. He also offers to catch Grim, albeit at the expense of your wallet.

There have been so many instances in the story where he’s shown concern for the people around him. He’s an asshole, but he’s also a guy you’ll trust to come for you when you’re at your lowest.

Of course, expect some snark from that silver tongue of his. But he’ll still be there for you.

He may be a jerk, but Ace also has an insanely strong sense of personal justice. He laughs and heckles others, all jokes and merriment… until something crosses the line.

In the Heartsabyul chapter, when Riddle throws the tart aside for no other reason but “abiding by the rules” ? Ace snaps back.

That might just have been his pride talking, but I believe that deep down, Ace knows what’s fair, even if the rules have to be bent for that regard. He’ll fight for what he believes in, as proven from the spoken spat he got into with Riddle.

I think that’s very admirable.

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Savanaclaw dorm: Jack Howl

I care about this guy. Very much.

Alright, where the hell do I begin? What drew me to Jack at first was his attitude. The gruff, no-nonsense attitude earned him brownie points in my books immediately. Considering my first encounter with the people of this world was, in order: a cat with flames as earwax, a man in a bird mask, and literal cards? This dog boy got my attention at once.

In the Savanaclaw dorm, I was pleasantly surprised when he was so… firm about not cheating. Jack stood strong, even when tempted by promises of an easy win. Staying firm on your choice, when an entire dorm is against you? Look, these are the people you see everyday. Your pack, if you’ll like to use that term.

That hard-headiness of Jack Howl is one of his best qualities. I love the way Jack trains like there’s no tomorrow. He knows that to gain what he wants, he has to put in some quantity of effort for it. And that’s exactly what he does. Hell, he even goes above and beyond.

He’s the literal example of blood, sweat, and tears, and I respect that about him.

But of course, no one’s perfect. I feel that one of his flaws would be an inability to be honest about his feelings towards people. The way he’s so round-about with his feelings, often coming up with very badly-thought-through excuses to help others out… it’s a flaw, but it’s still an endearing one.

I think he’s just a good boy. ‘Nuff said.

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Octavinelle dorm: Azul Ashengrotto

Surprise surprise! It’s Azul.

Maybe it’s not too much of a surprise, actually. Azul Ashengrotto, the man, the myth, the legend. He’s a guy who’s literally fought for everything he is now.

Being bullied for something you are sucks. It does alot of harm to a person’s self esteem, especially at a young age. When a person is in that sort of situation, it’s very easy to fall into a victimising mindset, and blame the bullies for everything.

Azul literally snapped and fought back. He changed himself, he spent hours on self-improvement. Clawing at everything he can reach, in order to never be viewed as that octopus hiding in a pot ever again. Now, I’m not saying that this is the best response to being bullied, but I still respect Azul for all the effort he puts in.

Also all those business smarts? There’s a reason why that guy is running the entire Octavinelle dorm. You need to have insane determination to be able to run a restaurant, keep track of a dorm, as well as stay on top of your schoolwork. Azul excels in almost every subject, and the notes he sold?

He had to analyse every school paper, the literal syllabus itself to come up with something as helpful as it was. Also, he had to print it and bind it. Mass produce this product.

The devil works hard, but Azul works harder.

I also admire his adaptability. During beanfest, he knows that his physical ability cannot match up some of the crazies in Night Raven College. So does he throw in the towel and give in?

NO! He literally engineers a freaking net to capture his prey. Azul becomes so much more dangerous in a corner, because he’ll do anything to tear his opponent right off their high horse.

I respect that. A lot.

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Scarabia dorm: Kalim Al Asim

Fuckkkkkk, you’re actually making me chose? Scarabia’s literally my favourite dorm. There’s just something about “people stuck in a narrative that they’re born into,” that’s so appealing to me.

However if I had to choose, I love Kalim.

The golden child, the one who was born with the entire silver culinary set shoved into his mouth. I think people really focus on his whole “sunshine boy” personality a lot. But you have to understand that that smile comes from a lot of denial.

One of his voice lines is literally just him denying his feelings, before asking about yours. Kalim knows he is privileged financially. He knows the envy people throw at him, the way they elevate him onto a pedestal. Try to sympathise with someone?

He’s probably told that people like him wouldn’t understand. He’s probably been told that he’s lucky, he won’t encounter problems in life due to his family.

He’s been told that he’s a fortunate person so many times, that it’s become a label slapped onto him, covering everything else Kalim actually is.

I want to see what’s under that smiling face of his. Kalim’s just such an interesting character to me.

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Pomefiore dorm: Vil Schoenheit

He’s the moment, he’s the icon, he’s everything-

Jokes, but seriously, though. Vil is such an insanely well-written character, that all I can describe him as is: awe-inspiring.

My respect for this man was solidified when he told Epel “are you seriously gendering movements?” Which really shows how much he does not give a shit about societal gender norms. Vil pursues beauty, no matter the shape or form. He doesn’t let society’s preconceived notions of what people should or should not do influence him in any regard.

He knows what he wants, and he’s willing to give anything for that goal. For all his insanely high standards and requirements, he holds himself to that same rigid standard he sets for the entire Pomefiore dorm.

Also the moment he plunged in just for Idia? A guy who literally kidnapped him? Who tried to attack them? And turning old in the process? Whoever said Vil was only about material beauty can step the hell up, I’m going to fist fight your ass!!!!

Also him crying about his older looks afterwards show how human Vil still is, even behind all the fame and the glory. Vil is still just a person, behind the screen.

10/10 presentation of character. I love him very much.

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Ignihyde Dorm: Idia Shroud

I want to dissect his brain and find out what exactly makes this guy tick. Like he’s just such a guy to me. He gets anxious talking to people, and just treats them as otherworldly beings he doesn’t understand.

The way he’s like: oh no the extrovert squad- Idia like me for real, for real. All jokes aside, what I really like about Idia is that he might just be one of the most level-headed guys in Night Raven College.

During the whole chapter 6 grab-your-favourite-overblot-boy, Idia understands what exactly is happening. He was with Azul, and Azul was ready to fight back/or at least offer some resistance. Idia takes the situation calmly, and tells Azul to surrender.

He may have a bit of a negative view on things, but he does consider every scenario, and picks the one that is the “best” scenario.

Jumping to his negative views on things, I feel that it’s because Idia really thinks of every possible way everyday situations could go. Maybe he thinks too much, but I can understand that. Thoughts tend to spiral, especially after some time.

Maybe it’s the guilt from causing the incident with Ortho.

Maybe it’s just Idia.

Who knows?

I want to find out. I’m putting this guy in a test tube and running experiments on him.

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Diasonmia dorm: Sebek Zigvolt

I have not played the lastest release of chapter 7. Will I play it? Yes. When? That’s a question better left unanswered.

HOWEVER! I have limited knowledge of my crocodile and an unbelievably big cocky head, so I’ll just write whatever I want. Based on? Vibes.

I really really love the conflict he has as a character. The way he seems to only address humans as their species, besides being one himself. How does he live with both sides of himself? How does Sebek come to terms with that? Like I feel that’s an interesting take on a guard of the fae. Someone who’s part of both worlds, but stays loyal to the fae side of him.

Also him being loud whenever he’s excited is such a neat little detail. Whenever he’s mad, he’s excited, he’s happy, Sebek just has to say it. He’s so painfully honest that it’s refreshing, especially in Night Raven College. Honesty is a virtue, and Sebek is oozing with it.

I really, really like his devotion to his family, even if that grudgingly means Silver. As much as Sebek gripes about him, you can see that he really does care about his sleepy brother. The way he blusters his speech contrasts immensely with the care he treats Silver with, and that’s so real for siblings my dude.

His loyalty to Malleus is stifling, but I do understand where Sebek’s coming from. For most of his life, he grew up in Briar Valley, right? A place where the Fae belong. For him to diss his own human side as intensely as he does, Sebek probably heard and internalised this viewpoint from a young age. How canon is this? I don’t know. I’m yapping.

Malleus is the prince of a fae. Royalty to the fae. Maybe that’s why Sebek cares and admires him so much. Because to him, that is perfection. Which smoothers Malleus quite a bit, because he’s literally being hurled into a throne by Sebek. Worshipped, even. There’s love there, yes, but could it be too much?

That level of devotional admiration Sebek gives Malleus is so interesting to see as well. I think Sebek needs to ease up on the whole “hero-worship” thing, but is he even capable of it?

I don’t know. I’ll like to find out though!

Sebek my dear sweet boy, let me pick your brain-

#the mage’s hat 🎩#twisted wonderland #twst #disney twisted wonderland #analysis #I was yapping #anyways my views #this literally snapped me out of my bad mood #I was like #damn I get to yap? hell yeah

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rhaenyra-storms · 1 year

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Its the last hours of thursday here and it might be friday where you are rn so im gonna make this go either smutty or fluffy 😂 will you write something where aemond finds his lady wife during a hunt caked in dirt but mostly blood (thats not hers!) Like at first he'd be worried if she's hurt but then he's also turned on bc thats hot😍

i know thursday is definitely over now, but i really can’t wait until next week with this one!!

Aemond would definitely love that sight. Of course, he’d be quite worried at first, because why are you covered in blood? He walks towards you with quick steps and kneels down on the ground in front of you, taking your face into his hands and wiping some of the dirt and blood away.

“Who hurt you?” he asks, his worries reflecting in his voice. “Who hurt you?” He asks again, angrier this time. He couldn’t believe someone actually got past all the guards to hu-

“No one hurt me. It’s just from the stag,” you assure him, your own hands finding their way to his face. Your thumb touches the lowest part of his scar, but he doesn’t flinch anymore. It used to bother him, but now it’s a sign of his trust that you can touch his scar and for him, it also feels good. It shows him you aren’t scared of him and love him despite his flawed appearance.

“Are you sure?” Your husband asks again, eyes filled with worries, his voice getting lower as he looks you up and down. “I don’t want you hurt,” he whispers and you don’t hesitate to put your hands onto his shoulders, giving them a short squeeze. “I’m okay, my love. I really am,” you assure him again, slowly seeing the worry in his face disappear.

You can feel him relax under your fingers when he pulls you into a short hug, his fingers brushing through your hair before he lets go to look at you again. There’s a silence between you two for a few moments until he breaks it.

“The blood looks good on you. It makes you look… “ He stops mid-sentence, the hint of a smirk appearing on his lips before he leans forward to your ear. “I think I need to take you back to our chambers. Get these dirty clothes off you and then the blood as well. Oh, to see your bare body like this,” he whispers, his voice seductive, marked with lust.

Goosebumps spread over your back, leaving you frozen for a moment. The thought of Aemond undressing you now, seeing you all bare in front of him until he would touch you however he wanted — it makes you stand up quite quickly, pulling your husband up with you.

“Let’s not waste time then. I think you will have to take your time,” you grin at him, before pulling him back to your horses.

#thirsty thursday #aemond targaryen #aemond targaryen x reader #hotd #house of the dragon #hotd imagine #aemond targaryen blurb #aemond targaryen fanfic #q

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mountainstogo · 5 months

Text

This is going to be a long rambling post about nothing and everything. I have a lot of feelings that I want to yell into the void

Hmm where to start..

My dad ruined Christmas again. It’s more complicated than that but I am very close to just going no contact? Very low contact? I don’t think I can go much lower, we speak twice a year. Once on my birthday and once around the holidays for him to inevitably disappoint me. Idk why I actually thought this year would be any different.

Anyway I love this stupid holiday and I don’t refuse to let this man completely destroy my joy. My roomies and I decorated and the house looks really cute, although it’s missing a few things still.

I’m feeling pretty ok on money?? (Such a stark contrast to this time last year) I can afford to buy people presents this year and splurge on a few things myself. Turns out it may be a very quiet Christmas and there aren’t that many people to buy presents for. So I might spoil my roomies and friends and s. I’m also motivated to donate and collect food/clothes to bring to displaced migrant families that have been bused to a major city near me.

So maybe Christmas isn’t totally ruined. But my relationship with my dad certainly is.

I pupsat for my boss in his nice house last week. He lives in the foothills and his house and property were just gorgeous. I could hike up a mountain right from his backyard.

Complicated feelings about work rn. I fluctuate between thinking everyone hates me and I’m failing and doing a horrible job; to maybe I’m actually doing ok and I need to cut myself some slack. Regardless, I’ve been super anxiety ridden over work and I need to figure out how to manage that better.

Last update is in re: to weight gain and fitness stuff. I’ve gained weight (around 136 this morning but that might still be turkey day and alcohol bloating from the weekend). Anyway I’ve been coming in around 132-134 for the past few months. My lowest weight was 122lbs (that was too low and prob not sustainable); I think I feel my best at around 128-130, so I could lose a few lbs and I know my diet is the culprit. I don’t want to obsess over the numbers since I look much different now than the last time I was 136. I’ve gained a lot of muscle mass and need to just focus on eating more protein and less processed foods. That’s all, the numbers on the scale will do whatever they do 🤷🏻‍♀️

Everything feels messy and busy. There are too many things to do and the days are too short. But I’ve had really good times too, first day skiing!!! A lovely Friendsgiving, quiet times at the barn.

#personal #rambles #so many feelings

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tastetherainbow290 · 2 months

Text

I am watching demon slayer ect ect

I'm sleep deprival, don't judge

Thoughs so far!!:

THE FOUND FAMILY IS INSANE RN

Rengoku isn't gonna make it, is he? He's to good and helpful

Inoske and zenitzu? Is that a ship? Bc it should be, its giving old married couple

Tanjiro is to pure, why him

My dudes literally bleeding out, and he cares more about the others?? P U R E

Rengokus approach to the stab would situation, surprisingly effective

ALSO why does kibutsuji care so much about tanjiro?? He's legit a lowest rank demon slayer

And, why is he still a lowest rank demon slayer?

Zenitzu, he's so freaking powerful ahhhh

Only uses that power to help nesuko 🙄

All that aside, his obsession with nesuko is borderline weird, no, just weird

Ig it's sweet tho?

The second they kill a demon, there's another freaking demon

I knew there was to much of the movie left for that to end well, thought you could trick me, think again

Anywaysss, goodnight all who stupidity decided to read my midnight rant? Review? Idk

Byeeeeee

#idk #ttr talks #Ttr reviews #Is it a review?#Does it count if I'm sleep deprived??#Anywayyssss #demon slayer

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allamericansbitch · 7 months

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speaking of 1989... i really hate that swifties on twitter and some on tumblr are making so much of that era about taylor's eating disorder, saying that she was constantly miserable and talking about how it must be so awful for her to relive that era. in advance i'm sorry if this causes a flurry of anons in your inbox, i don't mean to start anything, i just want to share my experience and i'm not comfortable to do that on my own blog right now.

i have had an eating disorder for a few years now, but i've usually been able to keep it in check. this past year, though, i've been struggling much more than normal. i don't want to share too much but there were many times that i didn't eat anything for 48-72 hours either because of other mental health reasons or because i didn't think i deserved to, as is very common. however, this past year has also had some of the best moments of my life, largely because of the people i surrounded myself with. i made a large group of friends where i don't feel like i have to put on a fake persona to get along with them. i was able to get out of my comfort zone and go to social events and gatherings i previously would do almost anything to avoid. and in many ways, despite the struggle i had i would not want to take back this year because of how many happy moments i've had.

and i view taylor's 1989 era in a similar way. yes, she was struggling with an ED but she was also breaking records right and left with her album, moving to a brand new city, and making such a large impact on the general public as well as the music industry. she perhaps was not doing well in private on the eating front, but i am positive there were other bright moments in her personal life at this time too, that she may have not chosen to share with the public (and understandably so).

all this to say, it's very naive and harmful to reduce a person's life at any moment to the mental health struggles they are going through. as humans, we should give each other grace to be more than our lowest moments and this applies to people like you and me as well as taylor.

i really didn't mean for this to get so long, but thank you for reading and i hope you're doing well sarah 💙

YES YES YES! i've said this before and completely agree! im so sorry you're dealing with that and going through a particularly rough patch rn, sending you love and always remember to be patient with yourself.

fans have always had a very black and white view of taylor (bc they dont see her as a person, rather a character or solely a form of entertainment etc etc), so when she mentions one bad thing, they assume the entire era was miserable and a terrible experience, the whole time. not a moment of happiness or anything. which just lacks so much common sense because you can struggle in one aspect of your life but that doesnt affect all the other aspects of it. plus she has said she's struggled since she was a preteen, so she had her ED when she was in debut era, fearless era, speak now and red era, but they never said she was miserable and awful it was to relive those? so why only 1989? it just goes to show swifties always want to see her struggling in some capacity because it makes her an interesting story to them.

#answered #anonymous #tw ed

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curatedbysnail · 6 months

Text

The biggest and most heart-breaking GO fic that I'm having trouble finishing rn is Slow Show by mia_ugly.

It has 12 chapters (completed, thank goodness), and I've yet have the nerve to read chapter 10 after that freaking ending of chapter 9. I was... I just felt so broken. I've read the tags and I think – have yet to understand all the tags in Ao3 just yet, so I might be wrong here – it'll end in a happy note. I wish it ends in a happy note. I hope.

Crowley's POV is so devastating. It feels like things keep going against him, OMFG, that man keep making wrong decisions and I'm absolutely mad. Not like mad angry, it's just, like, feeling so frustrated for that guy.

That's why the ending of chapter 9 hit me so hard. It felt like a hit when you're in your lowest. I can totally see why Az did what he did. But, damn. No matter how prepared I am with that outcome, I'll never be ready.

It's funny, really, coz it feels like I'm the one being abandoned and lost all the string that kept me afloat. I guess all those build up did get into me somehow.

I've been – I guess, in a way – 'running away' from finishing this fic by reading other fics (mostly oneshots. I found many amazing oneshots that has amazing potential for a 34 chapters of fic. I wish those writers would expand their story because it has such an interesting premise! Ugh, if only), but at the end, my heart keeps pulling my finger back to that tab. Those little voice in my head whispers for me to finish it coz it'll be worth it.

Ha, not today.

It's by no mean bad though! In fact, it's so well-written, that's why I'm trying so hard to finish it despite all these emotions of mine being in absolute turmoil.

Heck, it better be worth it.

Anyway, pray for me, may I finish this fic by this week (it's Saturday here rn, and I got tomorrow as my last day to finish this fic this week) and may the ending truly worth my pain.

#i cried a lot resding that fic #amazing writing #writer did an amazing job and sounding Crowleys erratic head #the smut was totally not what expected thkugh #very hot and im definitely not complaining #fic rec #good omens #azicrow #rambles

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