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#why is this so blurry oof
yuureiboo · 9 months
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@oobbbear i love how you doodle them so much and since you said color whatever i wish so i hope you dont mind me go apesht with it
Skater skater
Click in picture for clearer picture?
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fictive-culture · 4 months
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Was gonna make this a fictive culture is post to queue but then decided I wanted to make a long thing tw: anti endo mention
Sometimes fictive culture or even just Introject culture is something negative happening related to the source and headmates not showing up till after the bad feeling subside by time
By this I mean that and I don't talk about this often but when we first realized we were a system we were eventually presented with telling our friends, sure there is always the option of not telling they aren't owed that information but for better or worse we hate being friends with people that don't know? We hate hiding ourselves and not being able to be friends with people as individuals rather than a collective. We were horrified and while it went well for the most part, the system I already knew was thankfully supportive of endos and another friend even shot back with a same! There was one friend that wasn't supportive a singlet that was firmly anti endo and one of my best friends at the time. We met on a kin server both being tf2 kin though after realizing we were a system those tf2 kins were for sure not kins. We were both huge fans and would create things for each other fanart, writing. It hurt a lot losing them and even if we didn't have solid proof we knew we had tf2 headmates could feel them even if we couldn't interact with them. It's been nearly two years since then, and they fronted for the first time since learning we were a system in September of last year just a few months ago and we were ecstatic. Just felt like a sign we were healing and we were getting truly comfortable in our shared reality and it felt so nice knowing they weren't trapped any longer we have names and faces to people we couldn't reach for so long and it makes us genuinely so happy to see them on our sp and see their chat messages we can also look at tf2 content without being sad anymore? We can enjoy something we lost for a really long time and I don't know I just wanted to share that with y'all? Things hurt but it lessens over time, if you lost a joy you may be able to enjoy it again one day, if you are worried about a headmate they may return to you one day, if you are that headmate from a source the body has bad memories of know that you will still be missed that you are still wanted and your sysmates will smile and cry and hug you if you returned from disappearing. Sometimes we still miss them, especially one of our tf2 crewmates but we are all much happier knowing they aren't in our life and we aren't trying to fit into their box of what is and isn't okay. Even if we did end up being mostly traumagenic traumaendo the endo part is still so important to us and we and all of you deserve people that accept and love those parts of you too.
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upsidedownwithsteve · 2 years
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Better?
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Eddie Munson x fem!reader [0.8K]
Eddie’s bedroom was a lavender blue haze in the night. The shadows were only and the streetlight that managed to leak in from behind the curtains was a tangerine, barely illuminating the lumps and bumps of legs and hips under the duvet.
You watched the hours tick by, Eddie’s beside clock mocking as the red numbers changed over. It seemed an impossible task, falling asleep. You weren’t sure why, it could’ve been a number of things, really. Our impending exams, college applications, the fact that your boyfriend had only just been exonerated from first degree murder charges.
Ironically, the boy in question was asleep beside you, bare chested and warm, leaning into your side in a way that was soothing, but steady up and down of his chest still wasn’t enough to pull you into a sleep.
You shuffled, winced when the bed creaked, and tried to find a spot on the pillow that would be the comfiest. Everything smelled like Eddie, his cologne, his laundry detergent, a little smoke and spice. It was easier to push your head to his shoulder, sneaking the chance to press a little kiss to the exspanse of his throat, hopefully without waking him up.
It was a little selfish but it calmed you, the way you could feel his pulse jump a little under your lips. But the boy stirred, mumbling a little, his body turning and seeking out your own even half asleep. His hands found your waist under the sheets, fumbling to push under your shirt - his shirt - for bare skin. He hummed, pulling you into him as his eyes fluttered open.
“Go back to sleep, sweetheart,” Eddie mumbled, voice deep and scratchy, his lips brushing over your forehead as he curled into you.
You didn’t have the heart to tell him you hadn’t managed to sleep in the first place, the clock telling you it was nearing half past two. So you hummed back and let him hold you, a warm, wide hand tracing patterns over your spine, guitar string callouses catching at you and making you shiver.
You weren’t sure how he knew. Maybe it some kinda magic, some soulmate thing, maybe Eddie could just feel the way you held yourself too stiffly in his arms, unable to relax no matter how hard you tried. So he pulled back from where his nose was pushed into your hair, eyes a little blurry and his curls sleep mussed. He peered down at you, gaze aching soft in understanding and he sighed.
Not unkindly, not impatiently, just a little sad for you, knowing how awful you’d feel in the morning despite how much you longed to close your eyes now. He knew you couldn’t help it and he hated seeing you when the sun came up, lips downturned and cradling a mug of coffee like it was your firstborn.
“C’mon, pretty girl,” Eddie told you softly, swinging his legs out of bed. “You comin’?”
He didn’t leave much room for discussion, gathering the duvet from you and tucking some pillows under his arm. He headed for the empty living room, bare feet shuffling, cotton shorts low on his hips and the black ink of his tattoos only just visible in the dark.
You didn’t ask questions, didn’t argue. Not this time, not when you’d tried before and lost, Eddie throwing you over his shoulder when you protested and told him to sleep, that you were okay, it was fine.
So you tumbled out of bed after him, walking down the hall until you could watch him throw the bedding on the sofa, the remote control already in hand as he fussed with the TV, flipping through static until an old school horror filled the screen, still in black and white.
Eddie flopped onto the couch, curls messy over the pillows and he held his arms out to you, smiling that smile you swore was just for you.
“C’mere, sweetheart.”
He made an exaggerated “oof” when you let yourself fall onto his chest but the boy was grinning, arms wrapped around your waist to pull you closer, legs tangled, lips dancing across your hairline.
“You okay?” He asked when you got yourself settled, covers pulled over you both as you lay between his legs, cheek pressed the warmth of his chest. “This better?”
The movie played low, a gentle buzz of dialogue and background music, bad special effects and low light. It made the living room feel cosier, the light bouncing off of the walls, reflecting off the windows. Eddie’s arms were strong and solid around you and he nosed at your temple, a different but sweet kind of kiss.
Sleep already tugged at you, soft and kind like an old friend.
“Yeah, Eds,” you mumbled into his neck, smiling “this is better.”
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"Promise Me" | Gojo x Reader
Fandom: Jujutsu Kaisen Pairing: Satoru Gojo x Reader Words: 2.3k
A/N: no one talk to me, this is my way of coping with the latest chapter. This week is not a fun one for us Gojo lovers. Also this scenario has probably been written a thousand times at this point (thanks a lot Gege) but here's my two cents on the matter (go figure, my first official Gojo post and he's fuckin dead)
Warnings: JJK 236 SPOILERS, mentions of fem!reader, nightmares, brief mentions of violence/gore, pet names (baby, sweets, pretty girl), very self-indulgent and I apologize for that
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Nightmares are a common occurrence in your line of work; you knew that even before you agreed to take the job. Usually you can stand them when they hit. Staring into the shadows of your bedroom, wide eyes raking over every little thing inside, too scared to even move a muscle. Knowing that, once you do, the illusion will vanish. The fear will go away, bit by bit, until you feel comfortable enough to fall back asleep.
Till the next morning, when you can’t even remember what you were so afraid of.
But this time is different. Your body isn’t frozen at all; you don’t snuggle deeper into the blankets, praying that they’ll be enough to protect you from whatever creatures lurk in the night. In fact they’re suffocating—but even when you throw them off you’re still heaving like a madman. Cold sweat clamming up your skin. Hands trembling at your sides. Eyes nearly bursting from your skull when you realize the other side of the bed is empty.
Empty, empty—where is he? Where did he go?
Was your dream not actually a dream after all?
You’re shaking so hard when you force your way out of bed. Nearly toppling over your own two feet as you stumble out of the bedroom. The door’s cracked open, but there aren’t any lights on, where is he, where the fuck is he?!
Another step, round the corner, and suddenly you smack face first into something hard. A soft oof reaches your ears, and through the darkness and the veil of your tears, you can barely make out the two blue lights glowing at you from above.
“Whoa, careful! Sorry about that, almost didn’t see you there. What’re you doing up so late, baby?”
Your eyes are still blurry, no matter how many times you blink. But you can still see him, his hair messy from sleep, wearing nothing but a pair of old sweatpants. He offers a lazy smile, but it drops almost instantly when he sees the tears spilling down your burning cheeks.
“…Hey, what’s wrong?”
Maybe it’s the tender tone of his voice, the soft way he speaks those three simple words. Or maybe it’s the fact you can see his eyes dim ever so slightly, signaling he’s turned off his technique for the moment. Or maybe it’s just knowing that he’s here, still alive and breathing and in one fucking piece, that makes you lose control. (Not that you had very much to begin with, but still.)
He visibly jolts at the shrill wail that rips from your throat, his whole body rigid as you throw yourself against his chest. Tiny arms wrapped around his waist, nails digging into his muscular back. Almost as though you’re scared he’ll disappear, anchoring him to you with every bit of strength you have.
What does he do? You’re obviously in distress, but why? He’d just left to get a glass of water, he’d been gone for less than five minutes! And now you’re blubbering like a child into his bare chest, sobbing so loudly he’s surprised none of your neighbors have come banging on your door.
“Baby, come on,” he tries, but the pet name only seems to make you cry harder. He winces before taking hold of both your shoulders. He doesn’t bother trying to pry you away; no need to make you even more upset. “You gotta tell me what’s wrong. I can’t help you if I don’t know.”
Damn it, everything he’s saying is just making it worse. He hates seeing you cry like this. So tiny and frail, curling into his chest, incoherent words and noises spilling from your lips. You won’t answer him or let go of his body, no matter how many times he tries to convince you.
Does he just ride it out and let you finish? What if you pass out? Will you still remember any of this by the time you wake up tomorrow? Was it something he said earlier that made you this upset? He wracks his brain, trying to see if any of his earlier teasing struck a nerve within you. He doesn’t recall saying anything that could prompt this kind of reaction out of you…
Then again, what could? You’re his girl, his other half (as he’s quick to remind you and everyone else within earshot). Strong but soft, a capable sorcerer climbing the ranks with ease. You have an unshakeable character, sticking true to your values and morals no matter what. It’s one of the reasons why he fell in love with you in the first place. Not just anything could resort you to a crying, trembling mess in his arms.
He sucks in a deep breath and tries again. “Come on, tell me what’s wrong. I promise I’ll make it all better, I swear!”
And he’s just about to bribe you with some of the sweets he’s stashed away in the kitchen when you lift your head from his chest. Cheeks hot and tearstained, and yet you’re still so beautiful.
“S-sorry,” you barely manage to choke out. Your throat’s practically on fire, and you can already feel a monster of a headache coming on. “I…I had…”
He doesn’t say anything. He simply wipes your tears away with his thumb, waiting patiently for you to finish.
“…I had a bad dream…”
It sounds so fucking childish when you say it out loud. Should’ve just kept your mouth shut, gone back to bed once you saw he was okay. What do you expect he’ll do about it, huh? Not like he can erase your bad memories, no matter how strong he might be.
But that hole in your chest is still there, even after all that crying—
And you can’t help it anymore. You press your palms to your face, desperately trying to rid your fact of all those tears. Wanting to save at least some of your dignity before the night’s over.
A pair of warm hands close over your wrists, his touch surprisingly gentle as he pulls your hands away. Exposing your teary, blubbering face to those beautiful blue eyes. The mere thought makes you want to cry all over again.
“C’mon now, you’re too pretty to cry like that.” The corner of his mouth is quirked up in a smile, his messy hair hanging over his eyes as he tilts his head to meet your gaze. He catches another tear on his thumb, making sure to wipe it away before pressing a kiss to your cheek. “I don’t like seeing you all upset like that.”
“B-but”—oh fuck, here you go again—“you were…you were dead!”
You can still remember everything so clearly. The blood trickling from his mouth. The glazed look in those dull eyes. How fucking fast it all seemed to happen. One moment he was fine, breathing and smiling as usual, and the next he was staring up at the sky. You didn’t even hear his body drop to the ground.
So much blood, it’s not supposed to be out of your body like that, why couldn’t I save you, why couldn’t—
“I’m sorry!” you blurt out, even as he takes you in his arms and pulls you against his chest. “I wasn’t enough to save you! You were dead and I couldn’t do a damn thing about it!”
You don’t even know what you’re saying at this point, but for whatever reason, talking about this seems to help. Your chest feels a bit lighter than it did before, even if your heart’s as heavy as a stone.
“You’re not supposed to die! And I know that’s stupid of me to say, everyone dies at some point, but you always say you’re the strongest! No one can hurt you, even if they tried! So why—”
Your voice catches in your throat, tears still streaming down your face. He still holds you close, one arm around your waist, his other hand resting on the back of your head.
“…Why did you leave me? You said you’d never leave me, no matter what! But you did—and I let it happen—I’m so fucking sorry, Satoru, I just—”
You’re running out of steam, you can feel it in your bones. Too exhausted to cry anymore, probably too burnt out to even walk back to your room. But before you can even try he’s lifting your face in his hands, tracing your swollen lips with his thumb.
Smirking down at you like there’s nothing wrong in the world.
“Why are you sorry, sweets? If anything, I should be the one saying sorry. Sorry that dream version of me was such a cheap imitation.” He rolls his eyes with a scoff. “Like I’d let myself get killed like that.”
“S-Satoru, I’m serious!”
“And so am I.” And you can see it in his face—the way his eyes practically burn into yours, his mouth set in a tight line, his jaw clenched even when he forces out the words. “I said I’d never leave you, right?”
You sniffle out, “Y-yeah…”
“And I meant it. So no matter how many bad dreams you might have of me,” he curls his hands around your thighs and lifts you up effortlessly, securing your body against his chest, “just know that they’re dreams. Nothing more, nothing less.”
Slowly, he begins to carry you back to your room. Your arms find their way around his neck, fingers burying their way into his soft white hair. You’ll never get over how strong he is, how amazing he is—and how of all the people in the world, he chose to share the rest of his life with you.
Not strong enough to save himself from dying.
Your throat fills with bile at the thought, even as he settles you back down against the mattress. Back in the place where your nightmare occurred, where you saw his body and all that blood—
“Don’t leave me!”                                      
“Baby, I wasn’t even planning on it.” Damn, this nightmare really messed with your head, huh? “I’m staying right here with you, alright?”
You won’t disappear on me again? You won’t leave me alone like you did in that dream, right?
He seems to see right through you, given the soft expressing in those dazzling blue eyes. “I promise, I won’t leave your side. Not tonight, not ever.”
It takes a few moments for the two of you to get situated in bed; Satoru ends up having to do most of the work, since your arms and legs are still trembling uncontrollably. But the second the blankets are back around you, he wraps his arms around your shoulders and pulls you into his chest. Long legs tangling with yours, his breath warm against the crown of your head.
Lips soft as they press a thousand kisses to your forehead.
“I don’t know what kind of curse you dreamt of, but if I ever came across something like it one of these days…” He leans down, lips ghosting over the shell of your ear. “…I’d win, hands down.”
“You’d better.” Your head’s pounding something fierce, every bone in your body screaming for some proper rest. And it starts to feel normal, being wrapped up in Satoru’s arms. “…Otherwise, I’d have to kick your ass.”
He lets out a laugh before nuzzling his face in the crook of your neck. His long eyelashes tickle your skin, his lips sweet and warm when they finally find your own.
“I’m sure you would. Although, I’d never let that happen; I’ll make sure to win every single fight, I swear! Don’t wanna make my pretty girl worry about me.”
But you’re always going to worry about him. It’s in your blood, comes with the territory of keeping this relationship alive. And maybe it’s stupid, maybe he is strong enough to never have to worry about himself in a fight. But there’s always going to be that part of you that wonders if he’s going to make it home tonight.
You tilt your head, eager to taste his lips again. Like your life depends on it, and the thought makes him smirk.
“Aww, can’t get enough of me, sweets?”
“…Shut up.”
But he knows he’s right. And you know he’s right. Doesn’t mean you have to say it out loud, though.
“You know I meant it, right?” Suddenly he’s holding your face again, brushing his nose against your own. His voice strangely soft as he leans in close, warm breath ghosting over your face. “’M not leaving you. Never, ever, ever!”
That gets a smile out of you. Weak and pitiful, but a smile nonetheless. At least he’s earnest. At the end of the day, he means well when it comes to you.
“I know you won’t. …So thank you.” You return his hug, sneaking your hand between your bodies and pressing it against his chest. Your throat growing tight when you feel the familiar b-bmp of his heart against your trembling palm. “Thank you for staying with me.”
There’s that tiny voice in the back of your head, urging you not to listen to such pointless promises. Knowing that deep down, neither of you can stop death when it comes knocking at your door. No matter how much power he possesses, even Satoru Gojo can’t resist death’s clutches when they finally sink their claws into him.
But there’s time for you to deal with all of that in the future. Right here, right now, he’s safe and sound in your arms. Messy white hair tickling your neck as he nibbles on the skin of your earlobe. Making you giggle as he brushes the rest of your tears away.
And thanking whatever deity may be listening above that you get to spend just one more night with him, wrapped up in his arms with his lips against your own.
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ghostboneswrites2 · 2 months
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Ok- hear me out-
Angst Daryl fic where reader is with him when he finds Merle turned...?
Either he insists on finishing him or he is just so mentally broken by it that reader finishes Walker Merle off?
Love your writing take your time :))
Shoulda Let Me
note: I've written this scene with Daryl so many times over the years that it gets hard to write a unique variation of it but your take on it was refreshing :) hope you like it!!
18+ MDNI || Warnings: Profanity, TWD typical violence, loss and grief, death
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        You tagged along behind Daryl as he stormed through the trees. He was pissed that you were sent to tag along. He could take care of himself, he didn't need a babysitter. Then again, he knew why you were there. Rick was afraid if he found Merle, he'd run off again with him in efforts to keep his brother out of the path of destruction that the Governor was sure to bring. Merle was a traitor now. Surely he wouldn't be welcomed back with open arms.
        You jogged forward every few minutes, trying to match his pace, but you didn't dare ask him to slow down. You knew he was one wrong word away from snapping.
        Daryl paused when he came to the clearing, the place where Rick and the Governor had met before to discuss a truce. That was where Michonne was demanded in exchange for peace, and that was why Merle was ultimately gone in the first place.
        Daryl scanned the surroundings before his eyes landed on a set of tracks. He could tell they were probably Merle's based on the size of shoe and the way the prints were spaced apart. Merle had his own signature walk.
        Eyes glued to the ground, Daryl traced the steps forward. You remained silent at his rear, not even really paying much attention. You weren't a tracker, nor were you a fan of the older Dixon. Well, either of them really, but Daryl wasn't so bad. Rough around the edges maybe, but he had good in him. Merle on the other hand had a habit of making disgusting comments about your body or the other women, and generally being a bigot. His one redeeming quality was that he could be nice sometimes.
        Back at the quarry he'd helped you learn to throw knives and even showed you how to skin a squirrel once. He had good intentions when he wanted to, but those moments were sparsely scattered among his thorns.
        Your thoughts of Merle were halted when you walked into a sturdy back. You made an 'oof' sound as you steadied yourself. "Sorry, I got distracted." You apologized. Daryl didn't respond. He didn't even move. You peeked around his body and gasped.
        A sob escaped Daryl as he brought his hands up to his head and stumbled back. You stepped out of his way, eyes wide as you glanced between the two brothers, one now deceased. As if it couldn't get any worse, the dead one was starting to wake up. You scrunched your nose in disgust as Merle's eyes peeled open, milky spheres where his eyes should have been. His skin was gray and discolored. A lifeless groan pushed past his dry lips.
        Blood stained his clothes as he pushed himself up to his feet, hissing and snapping his jaw at the two of you, aching for a fresh meal.
        As the tall corpse stumbled toward the two of you, you glanced over to Daryl. He was completely distraught. He had to have been, to let you see him like that. You unsheathed your knife -- the one Merle had taught you to use all that time ago -- and raised it, ready to toss it.
        "No!" Daryl threw his arm in front of you. He shoved Merle's body back when it got too close. "No!" Daryl cried again, this time into the abyss. Every time the walker that used to be his brother got close, Daryl shoved him back, gasping and sobbing at the sight of his last connection to his old life; at the sight of what was once his big brother. He wasn't the best brother, but his love for Daryl shone in ways that might have gone unnoticed to the untrained eye. Daryl knew that, and so did you. 
        You blinked, clearing your blurry vision as you gripped your knife, watching the scene unfold before you. The grief, the rage, and most of all the tragedy.
        "Daryl..." You said softly. As much as you sympathized, he needed to end this before it ended one of you. 
        "He's my brother!" Daryl snapped. You pressed your lips shut, taking a breath in through your nose and exhaling slowly. You really wished it were someone else out there now, that someone else could be there to make the hard decisions.
        Daryl shoved Merle one last time before he lost his balance and fell down on his back. As he pushed himself up on his elbows, Merle was already just inches away, reaching down to take a chunk. You couldn't keep waiting for something bad to happen. You raised the hand that gripped your knife, positioning it in your fingers just like Merle had showed you, and took a breath. With one swift motion, the blade flew from your grasp and lodged in Merle's skull. His body crumpled to the ground in a heap.
        "No!" Daryl cried out. "He's my brother! You shoulda let me!" You crouched down behind Daryl and tried to pull him to his feet but he was too heavy, to limp. He gripped at your arms as they wrapped around him. You expected him to rip them away but he just held tight around your forearm, crying so hard that no sound came out.
        You understood what he needed then. You sat down behind him, legs extended on either side of his waist, and just hugged him. He didn't resist or flinch away. Instead his weight collapsed into you as you rocked him and let him cry.
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locuas642 · 6 months
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A lot of people keep making connections between the James Somerton video and the Tommy Tallarico video. and that's good, because both videos do have some points in common, most obvious being the point of how a lack of fact-checking lets liars flourish.
But I also think there is value in also taking into account his Deus Ex video.
youtube
Not because it has any obvious or direct connections. But because I do feel between all three there is a common point you can find: Ownership.
Tommy Tallarico owning the "Oof" sound and Tommy Tallarico making the "Oof" sound are two different things, but Tommy takes advantage of how blurry that line is to claim the former at the same time he tries to take credit for more than just that.
James Somerton and everyone who commited plagiarism feel entitled to take other people's content and passing it as their own. As he points out, it is a form of showing their lack of respect for other people's labor and pretend to be their own and make profit out of what they stole.
So how does it apply to Deus Ex?
well, Deus Ex as made by Ion Storm was the result of the particular work culture and philosophy of the people involved. It was a brilliant game that could only be made because of the people involved, what they wanted to make and that they were willing to take risks they could afford. It is 100% the result of what everyone in the developer team had to offer.
Yet not a single one of them owns the IP. Ion Storm went bankrupt and the property kept changing hands until it ended in the hands of Square Enix. And a new game was made by an entirely different team.
And that team did the best they could with their own philosophy and work ethic. And they made mistakes born out of misunderstanding why the original game made certain things. But the game was still good. Not Bad. they, the developers who put their soul into the game, did manage to make a succesful title out of it.
But they still did not own the IP. Square Enix did. and Square Enix made decisions for them that impacted the game. To the point that even asking for a small Final Fantasy Easter Egg required a pointless amount of Bureaucracy.
That is the thing that I have taken from these three videos. the issue of the disconnect between ownership and actual work.
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ilovebokutokoutaro · 11 months
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Covet
Hyunjin x reader
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Warnings: blood, angst, addiction, drinking, abusive, not proofread and angst
Overview: as hyunjin's addiction to alcohol grow so did the space between him and his girlfriend.
"y/nnnnn" he slurred barely able to keep his eyes open as he was dragged home by his friend....again. He drank..again after promising you with his life not to. But here you were standing with the door wide open as his friend dragged your half asleep boyfriend and put him on the couch with a loud oof.
"babbyyyy" he whined loud and you sighed, the dull ache that has settled in you heart ever since his addiction became worse increasing to the point your breathing naturally turned into silent gasps of air and loud puffs of exhale.
"thank you chan.." you smiled and he gave you a pained smile having encountered hyunjin crying a lot more times over your fights about his addiction than he had realised, the exhaustion was so visible in your eyes at this point that you couldn't even try to hide it anymore.
And as you watched chan driving his way out again...the 4th time this week you feared this was almost all you could endure, confirming it when hyunjin dropped his weight on you with a backhug.
"i love drinkingg~ it takes all the pain away y/nn" he confessed and you sucked in a sharp breathe tears bubbling up in your eyes for the nth time when you realised nothing you could ever do would ever be enough for him to try to leave his unhealthy obsession with drinking.
You looked up trying to stop the tears as if looking up would suck them right in and gasped softly with every breathe as he mumbled how he'd never stop drinking and how good he felt when he drank how NOTHING could compare to the relief he feels with his drinks, failing to suck the tears in as they fell right through your eyes.
"you need to sleep hyunjin" you muttered trying to keep the tremble in your voice to the bare minimum and hyunjin froze behind you. "No." He uttered sounding completely sober all of a sudden. "Please" you whimpered as his words pierced right through your chest.
"why are you like this?!" He asked rather aggressively as he pushed himself off of you, stumbling a few steps back and you shut your eyes trying to stop your brain from registering anything because you could feel the rage bubbling up rather soon.
"why....why am i like what?" You asked pretending to be as calm as you could. "Like this! Ruining everything for me....you- i- y/n you make my life so miserable i was so happy but you just had to mention i need to sleep so i could get those terrible nightmares so i won't be happy anymore. You want me to always be- upset don't you?!" He accused and you chuckled turning to face him.
"you don't realise what you're saying hyunj-" you started but he let put a loud yell, "NO! No i get it i get it you're- you want me to always be sad so I'll be with you- so I'll follow you around like a abused puppy SO YOU CAN KEEP ME ALL TO YOURSELF- YOU'RE SO SO SELFISH Y/N" he yelled and you couldn't stop the way your vision suddenly got blurry, how the wetness on your cheeks increased to the point you couldn't see even if you blinked all the tears away.
"how could you-" you sobbed "HOW AM I SELFISH WHEN ALL YOU DO IS DROWN IN ALCOHOL WHEN I GET TO SEE YOU ONLY AT NIGHT WHEN YOU'RE SO HIGH YOU CAN'T EVEN PRONOUNCE MY NAME PROPERLY OR WHEN- OR WHEN YOU'RE SO SOUND ASLEEP STINKING OF ALCOHOL ON THE COUCH EVERY OTHER DAY, WHEN ALL YOU DO IS TELL ME HOW I'LL...never be enough..how hyunjin how the actual fuck am i the selfish one!?" You sobbed and it agitated hyunjin more than it should've.
"that's what i said, you only want me to leave the only escape I've because you only want me to yourself!!" He cried and you felt your knees getting weaker but he didn't stop, he didn't stop as he uttered the cruelest words you've ever encountered, how he told you "i was not happy ever untill i found how to get myself high! And you want to take that away too...you YOU WANT TO TAKE THAT AWAY TOO!" he screamed, punching the glass of the small table that he gifted you for your 2nd anniversary, knowing how much you liked home decor.
And he continued shattering everything in his sight along with your heart. Pieces that won't join together with the sorry's you know he'll utter the next morning.
Your heart felt like it had been ripped out as the only thing you did for his 2 hour tantrum was sob into your hands, trying to fix yourself enough to at least walk out of the house.
And before you knew, your sobs were the only thing echoing in the house, the room scattered with broken pieces of everything you collected and he gifted to you, with him passed out near the couch with bloody hands.
And you couldn't help as you walked slowly to your room grabbing your phone to call your best friend. "Please come pick me up" your voice was hoarse and she didn't ask for anything else as she sucked in a sharp breathe and answered a small okay.
With the time you had as she came you grabbed a first aid box, patching up your lovers bloody hands as you kissed him a last goodbye with a small note before walking out of his life for good.
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The light blinded hyunjin as a splitting headache that he was too used to made him feel too dizzy to sit up. And as he took in the fact that he was in fact drowing with the stench of alcohol again suddenly all the hangover rushed down panic settling in his heart as he remembered the way he had promised you not 2 days ago to quit it for good when you had sobbed out all the insecurities in his arms.
"Shit! Shit! Fucking hell!" He cussed as he tried to stand up, hands burning the moment he settled them down to push himself up, "ugh!" He groaned as he sat up, looking at his hands then the mess the room was in and a the haunting reality of yesterday slowly burned up in his mind, hazy but enough to make him realise he has fucked all of it up.
"Y/N!" He cried hoping he'd get an answer back but the silence was more haunting than he had realised. "No no please" he cried, the anxiety making him want to throw up, "no!" He cried as he read the small note you had left for him.
"I'll come back to get my stuff soon, if you're wondering why because you can't remember anything i hope your hands and the mess in the room explains it all. Thank you for everything hyunjin...."
And the way a few words were smudged he could tell you had cried and the sudden blurred vision had him realising he too was in fact crying, hard.
The reality of everything sinking in fast as he came to terms with everything he had ruined, said the worst things he could to you after promising to love you till the end of world. And here he was sobbing loud because he knew you wouldn't come back again...he did not deserve it either way. The only hope he held in his life walked right out because he made her believe she was the worst person he could have. It was all his fault and he realised he had a knack for drowning in damaging liquid, first alcohol, now tears.
------
Why am i so obsessed with break up ff nowadays😭😭 anyway hope you enjoy....the tears hahahahahaha.
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hyunsvngs · 10 months
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hey juno…its me again🧎🏻‍♀️.
okay so porn star chan…but hes ur boyfriend. youre at his house and hes filming a lil something so youre in the living room, you start developing this reall bad migraine and youre looking for the medicine you keep at his house. the issue is, your eyes are blurry from the migraine and you cant see well so you take the first meds you see…uh oh its his aphrodisiac he takes to keep himself excited during longer shoots…
SO NOW YOURE EXTREMELY HORNY AND WHINING FOR HIM THROUGH THE DOOR AND I JUST- JUNO DO YOUR THING BOO
oh…. my God. YU?!!!!?! SHIT.
putting this under a cut for potential dub!con since reader is under the effect of aphrodisiac pills, but she does gen want chan (mood). also this got way too long and i did modify the ask a bit BUT ITS SEXY SO ENJOY:D
pornstar!chan is filming a solo video in his room and you’re looking for your pain meds, rubbing your temples cautiously while you stumble through the house. you’ve been at chan’s place more than enough times, you know your way around, but the fuzziness around your eyes is preventing you from finding the bathroom door.
eventually, you all but fall into the bathroom and pull open the medicine cabinet, finding the familiar little white tablet bottle. you immediately choke back two, feeling refreshed instantly from a placebo effect. trying to block out chan’s dirty talk and deep, gravelly moans in his bedroom, you make your way back to the couch.
it only takes ten minutes. all of a sudden, you can feel your folds slicking up with your essence, and you try to ignore it. it wouldn’t be the first time you’d had a physical reaction to chan’s moans and voice ordering out commands in one of his instructional videos. except, as you hear his video come to an end, your stomach only pools with even more heat and need and you find yourself making your way to his bedroom before you can even process it.
he’s all done up, hair slicked back neatly with his signature gel and abs covered in massage oil. it had been one of those kinda videos. he’d just shut the camera off and cleaned himself up, and his eyes look at you in surprise when you enter. he was still naked. good, you mused. “baby! i just finished, heh, did you need anything?”
you’re crossing the room and straddling his lap before you know it, feeling your wet core sopping through your thin pyjama shorts. he lets out a little ‘oof’ in surprise, before his hands are going immediately to your ass.
you’re babbling, hands running up and down his body and slicking with the excess oil. “h-had a migraine, felt so dizzy, channie, but now- fuck, need you, need you, can you go again? can you-?”
“oh, baby, of course i can. always can for you, but-“ he blinked at you, winding one hand into your hair to pull at the strands softly. you keened, grinding down into his length that was already thickening with lust again. “oh my god, no fucking way.”
he was laughing. he was laughing at you while you were practically dying with need on his lap, and you didn’t even care, looking at him in slight confusion as you worked yourself up into a frenzy on his lap. “wha- wha’ is it, channie? need- hnnngg-“
chan didn’t halt the movement of your hips in the slightest, instead bucking up into you and letting you feel the erection he was sporting already. perks of being a pornstar - that refractory period was definitely a bonus. “i think you took some of the pills i take on set, baby. that’s why you’re feeling so needy for daddy.”
at the drop of his usual title in bed, you shifted your pyjama shorts to the side, letting him feel your wet folds gliding on his length. “hnnnn- the pills? w-what? ugh, don’t care! gimme your cock daddy.”
chan’s laughing again, a little chuckle leaving his plush lips in disbelief before he’s positioning his length at your dripping hole. he grips your hips, raising you up before lowering you slowly onto his thick length, letting you feel the big stretch. you keened, immediately starting to bounce up and down. chan groaned, leaning back in his computer chair. he was in shock you’d given yourself no time to adjust, but then he knew the effect these pills had.
you continued bouncing, moaning and keening and letting your fingers dig into his thick thighs.
“that’s it, baby. good girl. let daddy fuck that need out of you until you’re creaming all around my cock, hmm?”
-
♡ juno
(i’m sorry)
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liongrl321 · 6 months
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Wicked x Wonderful Wizard Of Oz (1900) crossover
I decided to make Glinda and elphie a crossover between their original designs from the original 'Wonderful Wizard Of Oz' book from 1900 and the designs from 'Wicked The Musical' .
this was only a very rough artwork. i did not spend much time on this.
and i drew these on Flipaclip of all things
OOF
Also, Elphaba's elbow annoys me
WHY IS IT SO LOW AAAAA
click on image for less blurry images (oof)
i am definitely gonna look at these in a few years and scream CRINGE into my laptop at the top of my lungs but whatever.
also i didnt draw fingers cause i was lazy and didnt want to
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Gelphie :3
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icallhimjoey · 2 years
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Today He Loved You Extra
♥ ♥          Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader 
part one - part two Summary: You are an Independent Woman™ but overestimate yourself. You hurt yourself because although very strong, you’re also a dumb bitch and Joe takes care of you. CW / disclaimer: mention of blood, mention of fingernail bending in a way it shouldn’t, rpf (don’t read if this makes you uncomfy), fem!reader
Author’s note: if squirmy, maybe don’t read because I don’t need you passing out (like r does in this fic) take care of yourselves babes and pls be kind to me 
Word count: 4.5k
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A sudden loud bang snapped Joe out of his slumber in an instant. Joe was in your cozy bed, soft silky sheets, with arms tightly squeezing the pillow his head rested on; it was all far too comfortable, and Joe’s early morning drowsiness relaxed him back down. Only for a second, though.
“Ow, ow ow ow, fuck!” you hissed through the sharp pain, jumping from one foot to the other on your tippy toes, feet cold on the kitchen tiles. You were clutching one hand with the other. Your breath was sharp, and you peeked at your fingernail. “No, no, no, no,” your cries became louder at the sight of blood. You weren't sure what happened exactly, but your fingernail had gotten stuck in something and bent a way it wasn’t meant to, ripping itself in half leaving jagged painful and bloody edges right across the nail-bed. Stupid drawer, you huffed and frustratingly gave it a kick only to now also have hurt your foot on its sharp corner, making you wince loudly again.
“You ‘kay?” Joe called out for you, still in the bed, but wide awake now and awaiting your reaction before getting up and out.
“Y- Yes.” your voice sounded shakily unsure, but annoyed. Joe waited and listened as you cursed under your breath.
“Don’t tell me yes when you mean no!” Joe’s voice was groggy still, now finally swinging his legs out of the bed, sitting up. “I’m fine.” You confirmed, even angrier this time. Maybe early-morning-renovating wasn’t the best decision you’d made but being punished by ripping a fingernail and hurting your own foot in response seemed cruel.
“Oof, let me see.” Joe walked in, eyes squinty from the early morning light, and had seen you look at your bloody fingertip, your face giving away that you were in fact not fine. He carefully took your hand into his, but you flinched and tensed up as you tried to pull it away from him. His grip on your wrist was too strong, not letting go, he blinked a few times to focus and look closely. You tried to get a better look yourself too. He hissed through his teeth at the sight of it. His painful facial expression didn’t comfort you in the slightest.
“Why is it bleeding so much? What do I do?” you sounded way more panicked than you felt comfortable with. You know, being a strong independent woman and that.   “You are not going to do anything for right now,” Joe spoke like a schoolteacher, guiding you to the sofa and sitting you down, still holding onto your wrist as he kneeled in front of you. His knee pressed the part of your foot you’d hurt before, and you winced. “Sorry, sorry,” his other hand covering your foot and rubbing before also giving that a peek. It looked fine, no broken skin.   “I’m not sure what happened, but I think it bent backwards.” Saying it aloud suddenly made you feel woozy.   “I think I need to-” the strength in your voice left you the second you felt blood dripping down your wrist. That’s too much blood, you thought, seeing it also cover Joe’s skin. The colour drained from you face quickly.   “Let me.” Joe’s strong hand took hold of the side of your neck by ways of supporting your head. “Just hold onto me.” He guided your right arm to sling over his shoulder, but it was already too late and your arm limply dropped down the side of him. “Careful, careful,” Joe’s soothing voice sounded far away, almost as if it was under water, the ringing in your ears quickly overtaking it. Your vision went blurry for just a second before it was all lights out.    “There she is,” your head was pounding as you came to, instantly panicked, big eyes staring up at the ceiling trying to find focus.   “You’re okay, you’re okay.” You felt fingers caressing your face, sweeping your hair back as you laid out on the sofa. The air around you felt cold. “You left me for a second.”   You were too scared to move, but your eyes darted around wildly, locating your surroundings until they locked with Joe’s. “Hey,” he smiled softly. You felt pressure on your hand and looked down to see your left hand, wrapped up in a tea towel clutched tightly by Joe’s fist. You groaned loudly, incredibly annoyed with yourself.   “Pathetic.” You croaked before trying to sit up, but Joe held you down.
“Absolutely not.” His voice was stern.
“I’m fine.” You huffed, trying to sit up again, but Joe’s hold on you was unwavering. 
“Hey, breathe with me.” Joe started slow and deep inhales, followed by excruciatingly long exhales. 
It was only then that you realized you were practically hyperventilating before, your body tense and overcome by adrenaline. You were unsure if it was the sight of blood that got to you, or the visual image of a nail bending backwards and snapping. 
“That’s it.” 
You sunk deeper into the sofa cushions as you let go of the tension in your muscles. Even when you were sure you couldn't get any more relaxed, Joe kept breathing with you until he was 100% positive his hissy-fit girlfriend had slowed her heart-rate down enough to not black out once more. When he saw an embarrassed smile creep onto your face, he leant in for a smooch. 
“Good morning.” 
“Morning.” 
You counted your blessings. Joe would often say he was the luckiest, but you’d always disagree. You were the luckiest. Joe was so calm. So mature. So very well put together. So emotionally balanced, making well-thought-through decisions, weighing options, and using his actual intelligence – you could never.
You often felt childish – dumb almost – next to this man. Joe would read intricate poetry books, losing himself in deeper meaning behind words. You’d doom-scroll TikTok. For hours. The way you shared your palette with a toddler, lacking sophistication in every sense of the word. Where Joe would go for cultured flavours and order dishes in restaurants far too exotic, you were happiest munching your way through a bag of Haribo bears. Joe wasn’t posh, but his air could be, so people mistook him and treated him like he was. 
And you were just you. One poor choice after the other. A giggle at the wrong moment. A bloody bent-back nail on a Sunday morning. A nail that had left you panicked, fainted, and now woefully lying on your sofa with your boyfriend crouched down next to you, holding onto it tightly. Just to make sure you were alright. You were the absolute luckiest. 
“I know this is going to ruin your plans for the day,” Joe started, eyes locked on yours. “But we might just need to have a doctor look at your finger.” You both peeked down at the tea towel Joe was still clutching around your hand. “I can feel your heartbeat through the fabric.” Joe confessed. “It hurts like a bitch,” you laughed, needing to in order to keep tears at bay. 
“Come on,” Joe slowly helped you sit up and you took moment to readjust. “I’m sorry,” you felt awful. Guilt was written all over your face. “I should’ve-” you started, but Joe stopped you.
“What have I told you before?”
“I know, but I-”
“What did I tell you?” Joe interrupted again. 
You sighed and let your shoulders drop. “I didn’t do it on purpose.”
In your history together, you had found yourself in this position many times before. You remembered calling Joe in the middle of the night after missing the last train because you’d decided that a random girl needed your help getting the heel of her shoe out of a drain grate. You remembered how hot flushed your cheeks felt as your full body felt ashamed of yourself, having to wake up a friend to come get you in the middle of the night. Or when you’d mindlessly eaten chocolates from a fancy box in his fridge because they looked so nice, not realizing he’d especially bought those for his mother. His mother, whose 50th birthday it had been that day. Or the countless times when you forgot you’d be meeting up with him some place, and instead had gone to the pub with your sister, already slightly tipsy when he’d call, asking if you’d take much longer. 
You’d realize you’d done something wrong and would be afraid to come clean to Joe. Instead, you’d adopted the habit of texting him a bunch of exclamation points. It had become code for “shit shit shit shit” and Joe would always immediately call you, usually finding you in a frenzy, or worse, mid panic attack, not knowing what to tell him and so you’d just repeat the word sorry over and over. 
It felt like your apologies never ended. And you promised to better yourself every time. 
It had gotten ahead when you’d borrowed his car and due to slippery roads (and you were sure your lack of attention to the road because Kelly Clarkson was on and you couldn’t not sing along) had gotten yourself into an accident. You were fine. The car hadn’t been. You had texted Joe exclamation points, followed by a photo of his car. Panicked and crying, you couldn’t stop apologizing and Joe had snapped over the phone. You knew there’d be a moment in time where Joe would be done with you. You’d be sick of you too, so you didn’t blame him. He had hung up on you and you had felt so abandoned but totally agreed that this is was fair. 
His flatmate had given him a ride to find you. When he got out of the car, you were ready to accept your fate. Joe was there to yell at you and break up with you and this was going to be over. You couldn’t be more wrong. Instead, Joe had rushed over and crushed your shaking frame, checking you over to see if you were okay before embracing you tightly. And so you had started crying again, and mumbled the only word you felt in your chest Joe needed to hear. 
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
“Stop it! You’ve got to stop it!” he had shouted, shutting you up in an instant. Joe had shocked himself, and had immediately calmed his demeanor, but you’d seen the anger for a second and in turn he’d seen your fear in response. This is it, you thought, thinking you’d been right before. But your expectations weren’t met when you realized he wasn’t angry with you over crashing the car, but over the endless repeating of the word sorry. 
“There’s no need to keep saying sorry. I won’t have it. Stop apologizing.” He had cupped your face, tilting it upwards, and placed small kisses underneath your eyes, tasting your tears as he went, trying his absolute best to erase any trace of fear. “You didn’t do this on purpose. You’ve got to stop acting as if you did. All I care about is if you’re safe.” It had only made you sob more. The acceptance this man gave you felt undeserved of. And it wasn’t just you who thought so; your dad and sister had wholeheartedly agreed with you.    
“That’s what you want? You sure you want to spend your life with that?” your sister sat next to Joe at the bowling alley and nodded her head at you.
It was your turn, and for good luck you had kissed your own hand before gripping a light bowling ball and accidentally launching it across a few lanes, interrupting other people’s games. You ran after it on the slick wooden floor, making you dad shout for you to leave it, but you’d already made your way over, apologizing to other families as you went. Your slippery bowling shoes didn’t help your speed, causing unnecessary delay. Your smile remained on your face, and your family was equal amounts annoyed and entertained by your actions.
Your sister shook her head laughing, no malicious intent, but very aware of who you were as a person when she’d asked Joe if he was sure he wanted to be with you. Joseph scrunched his face and went, “It’s awful, isn’t it?” making your sister laugh. He continued to shrug and with raised eyebrows gestured his hands around as if to say he also didn’t understand why his heart wanted what it wanted.
Your family had known Joe for years, but it was only recent that they came to know of him as more than just your friend. He was a boyfriend now, and your family had taken no time to make fun of him for it. 
“Is he alright? Feel his forehead.” Your dad had said after you’d broken the news to him. Even though you knew your dad was poking fun, you complied. “Shit you’re right, I don’t think you’re well Joey.” You tried your absolute best to keep a straight face, your hands splayed out and shoved into Joe’s face, covering nearly all of it. “This face is boiling.” You had made your dad laugh and burst into giggles yourself when Joe had opened his mouth underneath your hands and tried to bite at your fingers.
You made your way back to your lane, bowling ball clutched tightly, a proud smile on your face for having been able to retrieve it.
“Sorry guys, sorry!” you turned back towards the pins and gave your palm another kiss for good luck.
“Gross!” your dad had yelled out. “Do you know how many hands have touched those?!” he pointed at the bowling ball in your hands.
“It’s for good luck!” you argued, making him shake his head at you.
“Unbelievable.” Joe heard him comment under his breath, making him chuckle. Your dad turned to him and wished him good luck with ‘that one’.
This time you were much more careful with the bowling ball and only gave it a soft push resulting in the ball stopping halfway down the lane.
“Jesus Christ,” your dad pushed you aside and swung a much heavier bowling ball right at yours, delivering both to the end and knocking over a few pins. You cheered as if you’d done it yourself, looking up at the screen for the points that appeared behind your name. Your dad gave you a shove, you karate-chopped him away from you, your sister shouted “No fighting!” – it was all playful banter and you reveled in it.
“I love bowling,” you said as you sat down next to Joe, his arm immediately around your shoulders. “Obviously.” He commented. “You’re great at it!” he complimented, followed by a beat before the both of you laughed. 
  At the doctor’s, your leg bounced impatiently as you had a stare down with the clock on the wall. This was taking far too long for a man in a white coat to roll his eyes at the insignificance of your injury. You felt silly being there, but you agreed when Joe had said better safe than sorry.
“It won’t make time go faster,” Joe squeezed your knee as you relaxed your leg. It only took a second for your other leg to start shaking. Joe dramatically fell over your lap to clutch the other leg, trying to get it to stop shaking too. It made you laugh, some sweet comic relief. You leant down over your boyfriend, giving the fabric of the T-shirt he was wearing a peck.
You weren’t allowing yourself to admit how nervous you were. They were going to have to touch your finger. They would unravel the tea towel and it would stick to your skin with dried blood. And the nail would be attached still, but not by much, and they were going to have to remove it. And it would start bleeding again. They would have to clean it with alcohol or something else that would sting and-
“You’re getting worked up.” Joe interrupted your thoughts, noticing your breathing had gotten shallow. “Does it still hurt now?”.
You looked at the tea towel and felt beating, but no pain, so you shook your head. “I’m scared it will though,” you confessed, nodding towards a door where you’d seen a couple people disappear into as their names had been called.
Joe would never tell you, but this is when he loved you most. It gave him a sense of purpose he rarely got to experience around you. You were scared and let him see, and he was there with arms to wrap around you and lips to press against your forehead and hands to swoop hair behind your ears. He almost felt smug about it. Joe was always offering help and very often you’d not let him, so when you did? Magic.
“I’m never going to get the kitchen done,” your voice was tiny, it shocked worry into Joe. You only said it because you wanted him to tell you that of course you were. You were skilled! You could do this! My strong girlfriend! However, Joe didn’t comply.
“That’s okay, we can cook at my place.” It’d earned a soft chuckle from you.
“Or we can just go out for meals.” You suggested.
“I mean, I’m not made of money, but sure.”
“You’re an actor, surely we’ll have it all on the house.”
That got him. Joe’s head fell back with laughter, filling the quiet room with his loud joyful voice. It made you grin.
“Can I get the steak on the house please? Side salad on the house?” Joe started a bit, pretending to be sat at a table in a restaurant, miming pointing at dishes on a menu. 
“With some on-the-house-champagne for the table,” you added. 
“I’d like to make a reservation for two at seven… on the house.” Joe mimed being on the phone. 
“Is that for big famous actor Joseph Quinn? Oh but of course, on the house!” you also had brought your hand to your ear, pretending to take Joe’s call. But when your other hand pretended to write down the reservation, you were brought back into reality harshly as you winced in pain. You’d been right before; blood had dried, and the fabric of the towel was now stuck to the skin of your exposed nail-bed. Joe’s hands immediately clasped around yours. 
“Y/N?” a doctor in a white coat called from the other side of the room. Finally. You quickly got up, Joe doing the same, but you weren’t having it. 
“I’ll see you in a minute,” you said, patting his upper arm before walking away from your boyfriend, graciously smiling at the doctor as you greeted him. You could handle this by yourself, a feeling of independence washed over you, not unlike the first time you ever went into a doctor’s office without a parent. 
Joe watched you walk away, pride practically dripping off of you. Yep. Okay. There you were. His tongue pushed into his cheek as he slowly shook his head from left to right. You were unbelievable. Joe had been wrong before. This is when he loved you most, and today, he loved you extra. 
You’d been in there for only ten minutes. The way you had walked into that office is not the way you came back out. Emotions stuck high and tight in your throat. Once you’d sat down and had them look at your finger, you felt like an idiot for having gone in alone. The realization that going in by yourself also meant having to sit through it by yourself had tightened your chest. Every doctor’s touch had been painful. You had wanted Joe to hold your hand, to distract you from what was happening to the other. You’d very clearly overestimated yourself. 
Joe saw how you tried to keep it together as you thanked the doctor before turning to face Joe. Your finger was wrapped up in white bandage as you held it up against your chest, your lips tight, making sure they wouldn’t quiver. 
“I’m all right,” you said before Joe could even ask, not sure who you were trying to fool. “Finger’s fine, nail will grow back, and it’ll look like nothing ever happened,” you blinked tears away as your voice went up nearly an octave from when you started speaking to the end of the sentence. 
“Come on, you can cry in the car,” Joe said, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and squeezing you tight, guiding you out of the building. 
part two   
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thatonesquintern13 · 4 months
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📺 | the way home - season one
live blogging a season one rewatch so i can remember everything for season two 🫡
episode one - mothers and daughters:
• i hope this show goes on forever bc they clearly have a full story planned for this witch hunt
• honestly forgot about this private school situation
• dad’s suck!
• do we learn about the “one hit” orrr
• chyler leigh in glasses. that’s it that’s the thought.
• “fReEs yOu Up fOr sOmE hOmEsChoOliNg” hey why don’t you hush.
• nah bc these two are like… not even divorced yet and his gf already moved in with him? i’d set the fire alarm off too
• oh the one hit was last year’s showcase
• hallmark letting a “damned” into the script. big slay
• i do really appreciate that young dell is just andie macdowell in a dark wig.
• sorry but it’s kinda a dream to have a farm in ‘nowhere canada’ to escape to, alice.
• i love generational mommy issues 😌
• one thing about andie macdowell, that accent’s gon’ be thicc
• wet dog foreshadowing 👀
• moving in the middle of the school year is wild
• omg and a “what the hell” !!
• mystery letter 😈 (i only vaguely remember how it got sent so excited to relearn that)
• the glow-in-the-dark ceiling stars 🥺
• LMAO OKAY dell was wrong for sending her out in her pjs but it was funny hehe 🤭
• ELLIOT!!!!
• “you got a lot in common… what with your divorces.” dell that’s so southern of you
• “and me?” OOF
• dell landry: bee keeping age 😗
• fair that kat wants to talk about her brother and dad but didn’t she also…. like. leave?? 🥴
• “if you ever need to talk i’m here. any place. any… time.” very subtle elliot thank you
• ohp. guess that’s why i don’t remember the bracelet. so rose from titanic of her
• wait that’s literally how she gets in the pond ?? okay that’s on me then.
• baby kat!! (A+ casting btw 🤌🏽)
• i could not imagine sitting on TIME TRAVEL for over 14 years. good on elliot
• elliot and kat better get back together in like the first 2 minutes of s2 🤧
• baby elliot!
• as someone who lost their grandpa when i was really young, alice meeting her grandpa and their whole relationship just hits different 🥺
• no bc the 90s ARE totally back in style.
• “alice will be fine.” “jacob wasn’t.” he was 6, girl 😭
• the white witch 😟 (me: wait why am i gasping i already knew that.)
• the blurry picture is actually very clever!
• elliot just standing over the pond ominously 🧍🏻‍♂️
• idk why but i love that kat called him to yell at him.
• kat, he just knows, okay!!
fin.
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jadelotusflower · 6 months
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Stargate rewatch: 1x17 Solitudes
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aka episode of the blurry/dark screenshots. What is this, Game of Thrones?
A Brad Wright episode, and the debut of the franchise’s most prolific director Martin Wood.
Jack and Sam bond over his broken bones and her inability to make a splint, heh.
It’s Siler! aka Dan Shea, RDA’s stunt double and later Stunt Coordinator.
Hammond giving him half the time Siler says it will take to fix the Gate and Siler going “it doesn’t work that way sir” is great, nice subversion of a trope.
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lol, how many times do we get an extreme close up on Daniel’s face and a blurry pov shot of him waking up from being k’o-ed on this show? A lot, I can tell you.
Sam correctly identifies their situation (option 2) but gets stuck on the probabilities of the SGC finding them, leaving Jack to be the optimist. Nice callback (unintentional or not) to him sarcastically telling Samuels in 1x02 to “let me be the optimist for once.”
Sam then deduces that the matter steam jumped to a different but nearby Stargate, just as Daniel comes to the same conclusion. Wonder Twin powers, activate!
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At least they got good lighting in the close ups!
The gang's all here - even Harriman (who as this point is just Airman/Technician).
I do love it when they use the plexiglass map.
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What is Siler’s job anyway? Chief engineer?
Sam identifies this symbol (far right) as the point of origin on the DHD. We later learn this Gate was the original one used by the Ancients and this could conceivably be an Alteran-esque symbol since we know their written language is block based and their aesthetic is heavy on the circles. It could represent a sun and a pillar, or maybe a Stargate itself.
It does explain away a bit of a plot hole with Earth’s point of origin being a pyramid if the gate was built pre-Ra. It makes more sense that this is the original Earth point of origin and the other was built/chosen later.
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Oof Jack coughing up blood onto the snow.
Why Sam doesn’t try to dial any addresses other than Earth - la la la don’t think about it. Sam's brain too cold to function I guess?
Or maybe the DHD has something else wrong with it? We learn later that connecting the DHD designates that gate as the primary gate on Earth, so really the SGC gate shouldn’t be working at all if Sam is trying to use the Antarctic gate.
Nice little moment where Sam says that if they don’t make it she won’t have any regrets, and Jack says he’ll regret dying - a good reflection of both their characters.
Daniel with his ever-present coffee, but this time with good reason. There’s a cool shot of him in the control room worrying, tracking up to Hammond in the briefing room worrying. Martin Wood loves a tracking shot. I love a tracking shot too.
I also love how interactive the set is, the gate room, viewing room, briefing room, and Hammond’s office are all connected allowing us to move through the set as if it were a real facility.
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“I should have gotten you out of here by now.” Aw, Sam! Telling language through use of “you” and not “us.” She’s the problem solver but can’t solve the problem, and even though Jack is in command, given his injury she’s now the one who feels responsible for him and his safety when usually it's the other way around.
Amanda Tapping is great in this episode, we don’t often see Sam so frustrated, unable to push through to find the answer.
Also a tender moment when Jack calls out for Sara and Sam, having been told earlier that Sara is what got him through a similar situation, giving him the comfort of “I’m here, Jack.”
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Uh oh, I think that means there’s a T-Rex around!
“We ruled out a world we shouldn’t have.” Daniel thinking forth dimensionally again! Even separated the team are still working together, the juxtaposition of Sam trying and failing to the dial the gate but Daniel still receiving the message is great.
Ah, I love it when they work a retcon into the plot! The SGC installed “frequency dampeners” that stopped the shaking of the gate (and made the trip through smoother/less cold), so the shaking now is unusual and helps them solve the mystery.
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Aw, Hammond going along with the rescue party. He’s well and truly Papa Hammond now!
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pinkiepiebones · 1 year
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Fic idea:
Have you ever thought about how movie!Renfield would interact with Dracula’s “brides,” either when they first met, or if they wound up in modern times?
So this lovely prompt's been sitting in my askbox a while, waiting as I slowly learned more about Dracula lore and Renfield lore. Since Renfield (the movie) is largely based on the 1931 Dracula movie and in that way disregards the book, I was initially hesitant to try and tackle this one. Now I'm not. I hope this is okay!
Robert Montague Renfield was unconscious. The wine had been drugged. It was a precautionary measure taken by the Count; in the rare instances where a meal had enough willpower to overcome Dracula's persuasive power, extra measures needed to be taken to ensure cooperation. As it turned out, Mister Renfield had been incredibly easy for Dracula to read. Mister Renfield was a desperate little lawyer and left his mind unguarded despite the warnings of the country folk he had encountered. Even that vile cross around his neck couldn't fully protect him.
Geraldine, Cornelia, and Dorothy approached the meal slowly. Their husband had been regaling them for weeks with the letters he and Mister Renfield had been exchanging. Mister Renfield sounded delicious- a smart and shy, educated young man, served his country, wife and small child... He wouldn't taste as sweet and pure as, say, a child from a nearby village, but he would still be flavourful, and all three wives could get a good midnight snack out of him.
Dorothy bared her fangs and knelt.
"Wait, no, I've changed my mind."
Dracula materialised before his wives, between them and the unconscious Mister Renfield. Dorothy stood and hissed.
"What do you mean, you've 'changed your mind'?" She demanded.
"You told us he was ours!" Cornelia snarled.
"You never let us have any interesting food, always bringing us frightened kids or idiot teenagers," Geraldine growled.
Dracula glared at each of his wives. "I've been inside his head. He is to live, here, in the castle, as my personal assistant. His blood is off limits."
Geraldine rolled her eyes. "Since when do you need a 'personal assistant,' O Prince of Darkness?"
"He's got a crush on this one," Cornelia said with a wicked grin.
"Keen on taking a husband now, are you?" Dorothy teased.
Dracula faltered slightly. Very, very slightly.
Dorothy sighed and approached her husband. She placed a hand on the side of his face, cold against cold. "If you want him, have him. But I'm not sticking around for the courtship. I saw enough when you brought these two home," she said, gesturing to Geraldine and Cornelia.
Dracula placed a hand to his chest. "You're breaking up with me?" His voice oozed with shallow sorrow.
Geraldine and Cornelia shrugged. Dorothy nodded.
Behind them, Mister Renfield propped himself up on his elbows. "Oof, Romanian wine is powerful st-" His vision was blurry, but he could make out the Count and three women in nightgowns. "Oh, my, terribly sorry," he said quickly, embarrassed, and tried to scramble to his feet, but a wretched throb pounded in his head and he collapsed, apologising again as the ceiling spun above him.
"Oh my god," Geraldine snickered. "He's like a wet cat, so cute and pathetic." She moved and stood beside Dorothy, placing her hand on the other side of Dracula's face. "I get why you wouldn't want this one to die."
Cornelia approached and put her hand on Dracula's shoulder. "Yeah, enjoy your malewife, Prince. Just do try to not be a complete dick to him, eh? Poor fellow looks like a thunderstorm would reduce him to tears."
The wives each removed their wedding rings and Dracula took them and added them to the rings already adorning his fingers. They turned, then, into large, white wolves, and bounded out into the night. Of course, Dracula had the power to command them. To make them return to his side and be silent.
Instead he crouched and lifted poor Mister Renfield into his arms and placed him in the guest room bed.
This newest project would require his full attention.
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paralyze-fic · 7 months
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Paralyze.
Chapter 12
An alarm woke me up from my deep slumber, and I moved to turn it off, but I felt a weight on me. My eyes opened slowly as I blinked repeatedly, trying to get rid of my blurry vision, and I looked down slightly.
"Eek?!" A tiny squeal let my lips when I saw Bakugou's spiky hair so close to me and felt his hot breath against my neck. "When...? How...? Why?"
So that wasn't a dream.
I thought I dreamed of getting up and climbing on Bakugou's bed because I got cold and hugged him tight to me. Well, now he was also hugging me. I have to do something about this, I can't let him know about this. He would explode... literally.
First, he didn't seem to hear the alarm just yet, so I would just have to turn it off. But how? I can't reach it, and there's a high chance he would wake up if I move. The only other thing I could think of was prying his arms off of my waist and getting up, acting like I was all night on the floor and that I woke up with a sore back... yeah, that might work.
My mind was way too active to have just woke up, jeez. I'm gonna have a headache.
Taking a deep breath, I grabbed Bakugou's arms and slowly attempted to lift it, but his grip on me got tighter.
"Shit," I bit my tongue and waited a couple more seconds, thank god the alarm had stopped on its own, but I'm sure it would go off again soon. "Please. Just let me go... let go Bakugou~," my voice was hoarse as I was whining in my desperate attempt to get up from his bed.
Before I tried the same thing for the third time, I decided on something else and took the pillow from under my head.
"Oof. Finally." I had managed to sneak the white fluffy pillow under his arms, replacing my body. A sigh left through my lips as I grabbed my uniform and a towel from Bakugou's closet. "I need a shower." Walking inside the bathroom in the room I yawned while I scratched my head. It's best if I just act like nothing happened, he doesn't know and doesn't have to know either way.
I turned the shower on and took off my clothes as I waited for the right water temperature.
/////
Ten minutes later, I was drying my hair after I washed my teeth, and Bakugou had just woken up. He got out of bed and walked in. "Get out of my bathroom, extra," he grumbled with an even deeper voice than usual, but with his hoarse tone he sounded more... soft? His voice was a bit sweeter.
Might be his fogged-up mind. He's probably still half asleep.
I went downstairs and I saw Mitsuki coming out of the kitchen. She saw me and stopped. "Oh, (M/n) just in time, breakfast is ready, could you tell Katsuki to hurry?" I nodded and turned around, getting inside the teenager's room again.
My knuckles knocked against the bathroom door softly. "What?!"
"Your mom says breakfast's ready. Hurry your ass up." He growled and I giggled, but decided to wait for him sitting on his bed.
The bathroom door opened. "Did you use my toothbrush?" I hummed a denial 'uh huh' while tearing my eyes away from my phone.
"I used my finger," he made an 'ew' noise and I chuckled, "I know..." I said to myself.
//////
Breakfast with the Bakugou family was silent. Surprisingly. Mitsuki said so herself. The very moment Bakugou went upstairs, she told me about how his son would always be complaining about her food, but how this morning he was weirdly calm.
Masaru said something about being because of me, and just when I was panicking, thinking I did something wrong, Bakugou appeared and threw my backpack at me.
"We're going," he growled and grabbed my wrist, dragging me to the door.
"Katsuki, is not nice to treat your friend that way!" Mitsuki yelled at him and I waited for his usually disrespectful comeback, but he just 'tsk'-ed and mumbled a "whatever" and put on his shoes.
I did the same and bowed to his parents as he stood up and opened the door.
"Goodbye, Mr and Mrs Bakugou, and thank you for having me here," I quickly said and rushed behind Bakugou before he would leave me behind.
///////
The classes were kinda boring. That and I was falling asleep on my desk, Bakugou might have been tired too but if he was, he didn't show it while on the other hand, I was like a zombie when we entered the cafeteria.
"(L/n), you want me to get you some food?" Kirishima asked me when I sat down at our usual table. I responded with a slow nod.
Since Bakugou and I started to hang out and talk every day, I had left Midoriya aside and I did not like that, he was nice and cute but I couldn't talk to him because Bakugou was all day on my tail. He was like an actual puppy.
The noise of somebody sitting by my side made me lift my head. Speak of the devil...
"I won't bother you 'cause I'm tired too, but we'll train again after school," I whine and let my head fall on the table, making a loud noise.
"I don't wanna~," Bakugou groaned but before he could say something, Kirishima's voice rang in my ears. My back straightened immediately. Food.
Thanks for the food. I smiled at Kirishima as I picked up my chopsticks and happily ate what he brought me. As expected from Lunch Rush, this is delicious.
While everybody at the table talked amongst one another, I felt a stare on me. Discreetly, I took some tiny glances around the nearest tables and made eye contact with purple eyes that immediately looked away.
"Shi-chan..." All of a sudden, I wasn't feeling hungry anymore as I placed down my chopsticks and lowered my head to stare at my fingers.
"Oh yeah! (L/n), that Shinso guy from 1C is your friend, right?" I flinched at Kaminari's words and tried to make myself smaller.
"Sort of..." my voice got out in a soft whisper and out of the corner of my eye I saw Bakugou turning to look at me.
"What do you mean?" This time, Ashido asked -she told me to call her Mina, but I wasn't comfortable yet-, and I swallowed while I debated if I should tell them.
They're my friends now... and friends tell each other their problems, right?
"Since I told him about me being transferred to the Hero Course, he wouldn't talk to me," even if the cafeteria was loud as fuck at the moment, I knew they heard my mumbled words clearly. Bakugou scoffed by my side and pulled me closer to him by my shoulder.
Shocked and confused, I looked up at him.
He got close to my ear, "That's his loss then, we've got ourselves a great friend." He whispered to me so the rest wouldn't hear him, his deep voice and his warm breath so close to me made heat rush to my face.
He released me and kept eating, I glanced at the other three people sitting with us, they didn't seem to have been paying attention to us, which made me sigh in relief. Taking a glimpse at Bakugou, a tiny smile tugged the corners of my lips upwards and I resumed eating my lunch.
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Skeleton had a really bad accident and was in coma for two weeks. Reaction when he wakes up at the hospital and sees his brother sleeping uncomfortably on a chair, looking like he didn't take care of himself for days?
Undertale Sans - He's not sure what happened, but if it leads Papyrus to lack this much of sleep, it's probably really bad. He's kinda freaking out right now, but he can't really scream because of the huge tube in his throat so he is just whining, like a puppy, in hope it will make someone come and help him. He didn't mean to wake his brother up, but that happened. Papyrus immediately tear up and goes to hug his ribcage, which hurts like hell, but he doesn't complain. He just pets his brother's head as a silent apology for whatever even happened.
Undertale Papyrus - He's looking around, vision all blurry, not sure where he is. He can see Undyne in a seat, looking like she cried a lot, and Sans half leaned on his bed, hugging his arm like he's going to dust. Uh. That's probably bad. He tries to move his arm a bit, which immediately makes Sans jerks, eyes wide open in panic. "papyrus? bro?" "sAnS?" Oh. That sounded weird. Well, not as weird as Sans suddenly crying hysterically screaming he thought he lost him, and then Undyne started to cry too and now he is overwhelmed and confused, petting the heads of his friend and his brother, not really knowing what to tell them because he doesn't have any idea???
Underswap Sans - He just realised he was sleeping and he hates sleeping so he suddenly sits up in bed. But it's not his bed??? Or his room??? He looks at Honey, snoring like hell in his seat, the hoodie wet from how much he cried. Oh shit. Did something happened? He jumps out of bed and immediately faceplants on the floor, waking Honey up. Blue is confused. Why are his legs... not working??? "blue!" Honey panicks and picks-hugs him, putting him back on his bed, not letting him go. He feels like a squeak toy. He tries to talks but all he can say is a weird whine-growl that frustrates him so much. "never almost die ever again. stop getting shoot in service please." ... Oh. So that what happened. Make more sense. Wait, he almost die???
Underswap Papyrus - Blue is not asleep. Though he looks definitely like he didn't sleep in two weeks, with the bigger eye sockets bags Honey has ever seen. He's staring at Honey, not sure if what he's seeing is real or just some another hallucination because of the lack of sleep. Honey looks around, not sure what's going on, then notice the big bullet hole on his chest. Oh yeah, he got shot by some guy who wanted to hurt his brother because he put their brother in prison. He almost forgot. Funny. ... So it wasn't just "not too bad" like he remembered saying his brother. Blue stands up and just pokes his cheek, to make sure he's awake. Honey lifts a non-existent eyebrow. Then Blue just bursts in tears and hugs him. Honey gently pet his head.
Underfell Sans - He growls angrily. There's too much light in the room, he can't sleep. He's about to wake up to just close the windows, but soon realises he can't really do that. It's like all his strength just vanished for no reason. He opens an eye socket and whines when the light hits his pupils. He didn't like what he saw. That looks and smells like an hospital. The hell did he do wrong again. He can't remember. Not than anyone care anyway. Except there's a light press on his arm. He looks down, his eyes widening with shock. Edge looks like shit, clothes dirty and face planted in his matress, gently petting his arm. He doesn't even know what to say. Even when he got almost crushed under a cave in, Boss never came to see him at the hospital. That's new. Was he this close from dying? "a'yrus?" Oof, that was pitiful. Edge lifts his head, confused, then immediately perks up, blushing. "THERE YOU ARE. I WAS NOT WORRIED AT ALL." "sure boss. 'know you're not". He smiles a bit. Eh, maybe he still cares after all.
Underfell Papyrus - Stupid. This was stupid. The last thing he remembers is pushing Frisk out the way of the car who was going to hit them at full speed. Then what? He died? If he died, why was he still seeing things around him? There was this white wall, covered with flowers, and this huge bear plushie judging him at the end of the bed. ????. Is he even the teddy bear type? Who the fuck thought he needed some stupid teddy bear? He tries to push it out of the bed with his plastered legs and he almost succeeded, but then two hands grabs the teddy bear and looks at him with a shitting grin. "does little boss wants to hug the big teddy bear?" He muffled screechs when Red puts the teddy bear under his plastered arm, making it impossible to move since his two arms are broken. Red looks so proud of himself. "it's good to see you again. too bad you can't move and i can do anything i want to you for six weeks to make you pay for worrying me so much other your stupid ass". Uh. That's sort of positive? But still! He doesn't want the teddy bear! What if Undyne comes in?! Asshole! Red won't move the teddy bear.
Horrortale Sans - As soon as he realises in an hospital, Oak starts to growl at the emptiness and tries to rip all the tubes out of his chest and arms. There's no way he's staying there. But when he sees Willow wakes up, looking so down, he freezes a bit. Willow seems really bad. What happened? Did the results of whatever exam he did that bad or something else happened? Willow widens his eyes when he sees him. "YOU'RE ALIVE! OMG!" Oak whines when he pushes him against his chest into a suffocating hug. But he doesn't complain much more. Willow seems really relieved, and he hates to see his brother sad, so if hugging him makes his brother happy again, he will gladly do it. For a few hours at least. After that he will try to beg Willow to get out of here, which Willow refused again and again until he gives up, grumpy.
Horrortale Papyrus - Oak is not sleeping. He's standing guard and growls everytime someone passes in front of the door. Toriel is here too. Probably when people actually needs to access his bed. She gently smiles at him when she sees he is awake. "There you are. You scared us." Willow doesn't really understand why until he sees his two broken legs. Oh yeah, he forgot he didn't hesitate one second to enter a house on fire to save a little girl and that the entire house fell on his legs after that. Silly him. Oak turns around when he hears Toriel, sighs with relief when he sees him... And passes out. ... Well, that's a way to do it. Toriel explains he refused to let his guard down until he was safe. Guess Oak considers he's safe now. Willow gently pets his brother's head and brings him under the blanket with him.
Swapfell Sans - He actually woke up because he heard people fighting. He couldn't believe his eyes. Rus, looking like he didn't sleep for an entire month, blocking the way and screaming at Queen Toriel without even flinching, even if the Queen looks pissed as hell. Nox panicks a bit and tries to sit down, scared she mights hurt him, but Rus is not scared. "that's your damn fault he's in his bed! you're an abusing bitch and you won't ever bother him again. he is quitting your stupid guard, go find another stupid idiot to die for you. my brother won't anymore! i won't let him! and if you keep pushing, i swear i will kill you!" Nox feels his soul beat faster and faster as he can see Toriel ready to hit his brother. But then Rus creates two huge blasters, pointing towards her. He's in shock. Is he still dreaming? Toriel seems to reconsider, and leaves, saying this is not over. Rus sighs, relieved, then gasps when he sees Nox awake. Nox smiles at him. "Sorry I worried you..." Rus doesn't let him finish his sentence and crushes him in a hug. Nox stays still a second, then hugs him back.
Swapfell Papyrus - When he wakes up, Nox is awake, arms crossed, looking tired. Rus blinks a few times, then looks around. "... are we at the hospital?" "Yes." "... why?" "Why?!" Rus sweats a little. "You said you were going to do a flip, and then you fell off the root, stupid idiot, you almost died!" "... oh. you're mad?" "Of course I'm mad!" "... oh. uh..." He doesn't want to look his brother in the eyes. "... at least i'm not dead?" "Depends. We'll see in what state you'll be after I gave you the lecture of your life." "come on bro..." Rus whines, but it's no use. He can't move from his bed, and Nox wants this done so he can finally go to sleep, so here goes nothing...
Fellswap Gold Sans - He wakes up a bit lost, with a big skeleton hugging his chest like he is some kind of teddy bear. He gently pets Coffee's head, a bit confused why he desserves such brotherly affection. Oh well. It's probably not important. What could he be missing? Coffee lifts his head and immediately cries. "I thought that lion killed you!" Oh yeah. He almost forgot he decided to fight a lion in a circus one-o-one to prove it's just a big kitty to Alphys, and then almost got eaten alive. Woops. That happened. Well, at least he is not dead. He is sure Alphys didn't do it after that. "DID I WIN?" Coffee looks at him in disbelief. "no. alphys beat up the lion to save you." "DAMMIT!" He sits up. Coffee pushes him back in the bed. "the circus is gone, it's too late. go back to sleep." "URGH. FINE." He's pouting, but Coffee is a bit relieved. At least he's giving up.
Fellswap Gold Papyrus - He thinks he's hallucinating, but now, all of his body is wrapping in bubble paper. ???. He looks at Wine, sleeping in a chair covered too with bubble paper and he is so confused. Where is he? And why? He whines a bit, scared and confused, which immediately triggers his brother who wakes up in panic, before he calms down when he sees he is finally awake. Coffee doesn't really have the strength to talk, so he just asks silently his brother "what the hell?" looking at all the bubble paper on him and around him. "YOU TRIPPED AND BROKE YOUR SKULL SO I DECIDED YOU WILL NEVER TRIP EVER AGAIN." "... isn't it too much?" "NO." "... ok." What else can he even say? Wine won't listen anyway, he's traumatised.
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zorciarkrildrush · 10 months
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Also also, there's several spots in the game that were hard for me for various reasons - obviously the tribunal where I wasn't optimized whatsoever and people died, and I wasn't such an intensely Sorry Cop as I was in the phone conversation with Sylvie, but I'm pretty sure the worst was a couple of gameplay hours beforehand. Maybe my 2nd or so into a brand new game, every experience being registered loud and clear.
Esprit de Corps, and they're talking about Harry. His name isn't used, because you aren't supposed to know yet, but it's pretty obvious. And one of them says "He told me, 'I want to see how bad it gets'" (and that's why they don't believe he's gonna get better or even get the job done).
What a horrific prospect. Being so far gone, so familiar with your suffering and illness you're, at this point, just taking preverse pleasure in your own filth. Electrochemistry and Half Light (present in anyone and everyone) becoming more and more significant, maybe the only real sources of "good" that remain. Saying something that bleak can only come from a man who is now just completely inured and unbelieving in the concept of hope, of betterment. He was losing himself so much it's very likely even the good in his past was becoming blurry, surreal, even just another pain point - and that, of course, exacerbated by actual onset brain damage. When people say Harry embodies Revachol... Oof.
All this to say, I'm dramatic and anxious this will be me at some point, just without the brilliant detective, unintentionally charming bits.
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