#wife try on

[thirstywaffles]

Good morning 🌅

#doodley #i've been playing hsr nonstop now pls send help #artists on tumblr #digital art #illustration #honkai star rail #hsr #hsr aventurine #aventurine honkai star rail #aventurine #ratiorine #trying to give him one of those dead wife flashback filter lmaooo

[scaredii-cat]

come on, be senshible.

#art #senshi #dungeon meshi #i get to see my beautiful wife in animation tomorrow #HUZZAH #also marcille was 100% the one to make him tie is beard back after getting a piece of it in a dish lol #also also i hate drawing the horns on his helmet. i did not try very hard this time. simply do not look at them.

[stealingpotatoes]

Hi!

I was wondering, how do you imagine things going between Merrin the literal space witch and Sabine "Don't make me get out the explosives" Wren if they were to meet each other?

Also here have a 🥔

i imagine they're fast friends

(donation doodles! // tip jar)

#[cal voice] ezra your sister is trying to steal my wife #sabine wren #merrin #nightsister merrin #star wars #my doods #tl4j mandos

[gilbirda]

me after 1.6 dropped

#stardew valley #please note the 310 hours played #and there will be more!!!! #right now wife and i are trying vanilla #but oh man i miss automate

[foldingfittedsheets]

So on Tuesday my wife and I dropped off the paperwork to register as legally married and as part of that I want to finally legally change my name. I haven’t used my deadname in decades and I’m so ready.

But the very nice lady at the Recorders office said we’d need to go through Social Security for name changes. Since we were already in the city we walked to the SS office.

The ground floor was like a TSA, with scanners and guards. They asked, “Do you have any weapons?”

We both did. My wife held out their cute Swiss Army knife which got an immediate pass. Mine caused more issue, though. It’s a cute little knife, it folds up to look like a leaf and unfolds into a blade. I showed the man and he looked gravely concerned.

When he asked to see it closer I obliged, folding it closed so I could take it off my key ring to hand over. And this man. This buff security man. Could not open my cutesy little knife to save his life. He futilely pawed at it from all different angles while I tried to say, “Look, you can see the hinge, just pull at the top…”

Finally he had to hand it back so I could open it for him. Then two other men came over and all three Very Serious Security Men in a Federal Building pored over my tiny cute knife with great intensity and concern. A ruler was produced and they conferred in hushed whispers.

I was honestly trying not to laugh when he finally passed it back and said I could keep it, but cautioned me not to pull it out. I solemnly agreed, returning my tiny weapon to my key ring.

#ramblies #ended up bailing on the security office though #it was very bad vibes and my wife was suffering #I’ll try to go Friday to the smaller one by us #I’d rather spend my days off with them doing nice things even if it means suffering a government office alone

[prezs]

this is still the funniest way to start a romance in a video game possibly ever

#personal #mass effect #thane shut the fuck up about your dead wife im trying to jump into your bug pants #second place goes to asking garrus to fuck out of absolutely no where and having all of your dialogue be about how you're prepping to fuck #and they say romance is dead

[theygender]

The more I learn about judaism the more I wonder where tf christianity got all its bad shit. Why is divorce a sin in christianity when judaism has recognized the right to divorce for nearly a millennia and has codified religious laws for it. Why does christianity consider sex to be dirty (to the point where puritans considered it a sin to enjoy having sex with your own spouse) when in judaism it's considered holy and it's a literal mitzvah to have sex with your spouse on the sabbath. Why does christianity consider it a sign that you're faithless if you question your religion when in judaism that's considered an essential part to developing your faith. I'm probably stating the obvious here but I still can't get over the fact that there's no historical basis to any of this shit before christianity started, it's like christians just said "hey guys what if we took the torah and built a new religion around it but this time it was actively hostile to human life"

#rambling #disclaimer this isnt about individual christians im speaking about the religious trauma i experienced in my own life etc etc #these are just a few examples that I've noticed but they're definitely something #the part about sex in particular shocked me bc sex is pretty much viewed as actively evil in a lot of christian denominations #like you should only do it to create children and if you take pleasure in it (even if its with your own spouse) youre a dirty sinner #there arent as many examples like this nowadays but if you read puritan laws about sex it's like #you're allowed to have sex with your wife basically 10 times a year but you have to be fully clothed with the lights off #and you cant have sex on a holiday or a sunday and you cant touch each other and you have to try as hard as possible to hate it #literally WHERE did that mindset come from?? like for real #in judaism having sex with your spouse is basically considered a celebration of everything holy #and if you have sex on the sabbath (the holiest day in the jewish calendar—above every holiday) #its considered TWICE as holy #make it make sense #this is one of the things people mean when they say that lumping judaism in with christianity as 'abrahamic' religions is meaningless #theyre literally nothing alike #the only similarity is the torah but thats only half of the christian bible and one third of the jewish one #AND christianity interprets most of it completely differently from how judaism does #im tired #greatest hits #hall of fame

[mmmairon]

All patched up

#i feel crazy bc I’ve been trying to draw this mf for months #but nothing felt sufficient #i knew exactly what he had to look like but nothing came out close until now #Kit’s wrio destroyed me i see him every night when i close my eyes 😊 #Wrio’s the typa guy who's in his late 40s #gets home by 7pm after his prison work to pet his black and white spotted cat #and watch tv while sipping his favorite earl grey tea #he’s just missing a soft and loving wife to dote on him …….. me #ok lmfao that’s enough goodbye #wriothesley #genshin #genshin impact #him looking up at me as i ask to sit on his lap to eat my cookies

[jcams88]

Buzzfeed really said We are going directly for the throat with this one, huh

#try guys #the try guys #ned fulmer #ned fulmer is a cheater #directly for the throat is what he deserves #but also damn his former employer is G O I N G for it #i also wanna be very clear that just because everyone is dunking on ned #doesn't mean that alex should be absolved of her part in this #like girl that's your boss and you also work with his wife #you've definitely spent time around his kids #wtf is wrong with you?

[themostbritishamerican]

no bc the LAYERS to this?? like not only is it a public figure cheating on his wife and the mother of his TWO children. his entire personality is loving his wife he was the goddamn legend of LOVE. AND he didn't just cheat on his wife with some random woman it's his PRODUCER! and bc hes the owner of the company thats his subordinate! AND alex (his producer) was ENGAGED! and you would think "oh well shes not the focal point of the channel shes just a producer so why do people care about her relationship" BECAUSE THEY WERE ACTIVELY MAKING VIDEOS WHERE SHES PLANNING HER WEDDING!! we saw her try on wedding dresses! they did a whole bridesmaid dress video!! like she was also very publicly in a relationship about to be married. AND ON TOP OF THAT it's not just like ned goes into an office and leaves ariel at home (i.e. having separation between work and home) no bc ariel ALSO WORKS WITH THEM AT THE OFFICE! she has worked with alex!!! SHE HAS WORKED WITH AND KNOWS AND WAS SEEMINGLY FRIENDS WITH HIS MISTRESS!!! like you couldnt write a messier affair its all fucking buck wild

#try guys #i dont think people outside of the fandom get it #like this isnt just a cheating on ur wife thing its so much bigger than that #ugh i hope ariel leaves his ass she deserves so much better

[cyanastrologist]

❌ Ned Fulmer was fired for cheating

✔️ Ned Fulmer was fired for tarnishing his own brand, and becoming a liability to the company.

#hannah.txt #try guys #ned fulmer #try guys drama #it wasnt the cheating itself that got ned fired #he got fired for having a workplace relationship with a subordinate #which opens the company up to lawsuits about favoritism and unfair treatment #ibr this is what you get for monetizing your relationships #do yall really think ned would be facing this much backlash if he hadn't based his entire persona around being The Wife Guy(tm) #i mean he'd still get some hate for sure but this man literally built his whole brand around loving his wife #like literally worshipping the ground she walked on #only to be caught cheating on said wife. not a good look my dude #i have no sympathy for ned and alex they both suck

[saturnniidae]

#it says wife bc i was too lazy to change it also its funnier #hiccup js definitely the cook bro was ready to become a baker theres no way he couldn't make good food #hes too nice to tell astrid everything she makes is absolutely vile and inedible so he just smiles and takes it #but it becomes a problem when shes almost setting the house on fire trying to make him breakfast in bed on a bad pain day #its a good thing berk is so used to house fires and are inhumanly efficient at putting them out and repairing the damage #httyd #hiccstrid #hiccup haddock #astrid hofferson #httyd 2 #httyd meme #httyd shitpost

[papirfecni]

baby girl. baby

#lae’zel #baldurs gate 3 #fanart #my art #space wife #this is a wip (hopefully) #im trying to learn how to color better (help me)

[spilycoris]

payback.

plus. uh. whatever this is

#cotl #cult of the lamb #sorry i disappeared i was making tiktoks. woops. #anyway. this is my au that i have lovingly dubbed #lamb please come back the wife and cultists miss you #.....for now at least. #i dont know im not creative when it comes to this?????? #cotl au #narilamb #the lamb #narinder #cotl lamb #cotl narinder #my art #cotl fanart #also every time i try to draw my wrist hurts. yikes!

[ryonello]

oomfie take my hand

#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #dunmeshi #laios #laios touden #senshi #my art #lets take ibuprofen together #THIS WAS SO FUN HAFDHJKGADJKGGA #churned out a bunch of dunmeshi charms on stream today i am sooooo excited abt them #binge read it and maybe a little bit obsessed rn #falin is my wife but also i am in love with laios #will try slowly posting some more of the charms over the next few days!! #also gotta get preorders up so i can afford to manu them prayge #soryr ive been kinda neglecting tumblr lately since twitters still my primary but im tryna make an effort w ig HRGNGH IM SO OLD AND TIRED #anyway #hope yallre well!!! #<3

[faeriekit]

New In Town (dp x dc)

ALRIGHT! 👏🏽 A prompt. (Or, well. A premise.) I’m schtealing a lot of worldbuilding from @mediumsizedpidegon‘s post here so bear with me please.

The Bats, however they catch wind of Amity, catch wind of Amity Park. Of course they do. Amity Park has a very distinct presence— Or, well, a lack of a presence. It may have an abundance of documented weirdness online, from folk stories to abandoned livestreams to concerning details in expats’ online blogs.

But there is no online evidence of Amity Park that leaves Amity Park.

So. What is a family of detectives to do when confronted with the need to gather physical evidence? Road Trip, baby!🏄🏽‍♂️🚗🚞🚡

Everyone hops in the car/Batplane and makes their way to Amity Park; they make hotel reservations, ring up the only reasonably rich enough people to even touch their social circle (the Manson family, and Vlad Masters, apparently), make an itinerary for all the documented tourist stops to hit up while in town off the town website, and prepare themselves for whatever dimensional weirdness is causing a complete tech blackout on the town and an inability to be found by satellite.

They get about ten feet into Amity proper when they meet the first local.

His name is Danny. He’s nice! Affable. He looks a lot like any other Wayne sibling, actually, if a little on the younger side. He notices it’s their first time in town. Do they need any help getting around?

Best way to get information is to ingratiate with a local, so...sure, why not? They get a free tour guide, Danny gets to show off his town; they see all the sights, like the local burger joint, the school, the Manson home, the town hall, the city proper. They’re having a clothing swap in the temple parking lot, actually. You should go check it out!

For whatever reason, it’s all...Punk? Goth? There’s a couple of lolita dressed tossed in, and some crocheted things. Everyone has a trunk out their car, eyeliner, and at least two piercings in their face; everyone here seems to know each other on a personal level. Well, small towns are small towns. Whatever.

Danny isn’t deterred by their reactions. If they want, there’s the movie in park tonight! If not, they can catch dinner, though; their hotel restaurant closes at 8pm sharp. (He just...knows this off the top of his head?)

They split up. Some of the family people watch at the restaurant. Everyone is...weirdly courteous to them. A little standoffish. But not at the Wayne name, just at...them being there.

The people at the park find out they’re watching The Night of the Living Dead. This would be much more normal if the park wasn’t also clearly the cemetery, in the middle of July? Which is. Why? It’s not even for any holiday or special time of the year? It’s just...clearly a movie night in the summer? There are little kids here, playing among the gravestones while their parents set out blankets and snacks. Why is this considered a family event??

Well. At least Jason has fun.

Everyone goes to bed and reconvenes in the morning. When they wake up and roll out for the day, Danny manages to find them again, this time with two new friends, bright and chipper in the morning. There’s a farmer’s market today! Everyone’s worked really hard on this week’s harvest; don’t they want to see?

...Sure?

And the longer they’re in Amity Park, the more they begin to realize how convenient it is, that they’re ferried around so easily; that there’s immediately a local who takes a liking to them, that there’s always something else to do; how suspicious it is that no data can get in or out of Amity now that they’re in it, or how they can’t seem to get close to any of the more suspicious parts of town they want to infiltrate. The town is entirely closed to outside influences. The fashion trends are strange and foreign. They only eat things grown in the area, by people they know, and it’s all sort of...green. Everyone knows everyone. Everyone knows where to go. Who to talk to. The superstitions— make no wishes, step on no cracks, wear no large jewelry, cross no shadows of any person (living or dead, apparently), speak to no one without full view of their eyes. 

But nothing seems dangerous— not until a few of them try to investigate Axiom Labs, a subsidiary of the otherwise national Dalvco company, and are met to the face with a blaster that uses tech they’ve never seen, by a red fighter in an ultra-synthetic suit.

Overnight, the extremely polite and welcoming town becomes a hostile entity to fight their way out of.

#...or something. #dp x dc #this is *technically* a subset of the Amity is Danny's Haunt au #he can physically feel how they don't fit. But he is TRYING to be a good host #everyone else is nervous around new people who Don't Get the local vibes #or even notice the dead people who are scattered all over Amity #dpxdc #dcxdp #I just wanted Danny to be So Cheerful and Nice it turns back into like stepford wife spookiness completely on accident #Danny seems Tailor Made to be liked by them and it's kinda freaky #Places they also fail to get into: Mayor's office. Vlad's bigass house. Fentonworks #Oh Boy does Danny's attitude change when they try to get into Fentonworks #dcu crossover #free to a good home