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deer-carcasses · 3 months

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somewhat an analysis of Alastor

I've been going over this multiple times while it was just some rambles in my notes, but I finally decided it might as well see the light of day. if you do read this all, thank you. if not,,, understandable. it's a lot.

if this whole things is not coherent at all and does some weird jumps, I'm sorry. I took multiple breaks writing this over the span of the whole day. it was even more of a mess, I promise this is the slightly cleaned-up version.

especially the later parts get less cohesive in my eyes since I had to take longer breaks in between them. they also might jump around more. but now, in case you do want to read this; enjoy.

obvious spoilers ahead

let's start with the most interesting aspect for me: we barely know Alastor. sure, we know a little about his backstory, and get snippets of interactions here and there, but it wasn't until well into the show that we got to know his character better. ep.5 was where we see something deeper than the shallow persona he puts on for everyone. he's been more of a helping hand to make the plot progress in an interesting direction than a character with obvious deeper meaning. I don't mean to say that he was not well-written, quite the contrary, I mean to point out that he seemed more like a tool in the story than a character we are supposed to connect with on deeper levels.

we all as viewers had no idea why exactly he was there, to begin with, he said it was for his own entertainment but even then, this seemed like an awful lot of work for him to come out more or less empty-handed most of the time. it's an unfair deal for Alastor if you ask me. and honestly, he does bring little less than "entertainment" to the table until then. being used to show that he is helping yes, but mostly doing it so he can pull someone else down with his help. double-sided blade. he loses, but whoever he helps also doesn't win.

let's talk about ep.5 though. in this episode it's the first time someone truly irritates him. he didn't really care much for Vox - seemingly finding his entire obsession rather funny and never seeing him as a true threat. and Sir Pentious he didn't even truly remember. but with Lucifer that changes. Alastor doesn't just see him as bothersome, he sees him as important enough to go out of his way to prove he is better than the literal king of hell himself. at first, you could argue that he's once again doing it for his entertainment. seeing how much he can push before he needs to get back in line. but looking closer, his body language betrays him.

the way Alastor holds himself shows a true disdain for Lucifer that is, from a viewer's perspective, totally unjustified. Lucifer did not start their weird rival dynamic, it was Alastor who from the beginning on looked down on the king. maybe it's a personal reason, maybe it's just the fact that Alastor is more than well aware that no matter how much power he gets, there's no way to get above Lucifer. his omnipresence might simply be an annoyance to Alastor because he knows as well as Lucifer that the king hasn't shown his face in a long time and his reputation and power over all of the pride ring, over all of hell, still stays in place. no real threat could shake Lucifer's power into crumpling and this thought alone might bother Alastor because he had to fight for his power, to keep his power. (see Vox having presumably more power with the modern media and all that before Alastor disappeared)

and there's also of course the whole bantering going on in Hell's greatest Dad. Are Alastor's words genuine when he speaks to Charlie, or is it just a tactic to get under Lucifer's skin, maybe not seeing his powers crumble but seeing the king's nerves being reduced to nothing by his hands.

I personally don't think he was being entirely truthful. he might not have straight up lied about everything, but I don't think he truly wishes Charlie to be his daughter. Charlie herself is more than a little surprised by how Alastor suddenly treats her, and that alone is proof enough for me that he wasn't being honest in his words. if it were true, wouldn't he have at least a slight fatherly touch towards her all the time? Later on, Angel Dust even somewhat points out that Alastor has never acted like this by asking what his [Alastor's] deal is. It shows me that no matter how badly he tries to make it seem real for Lucifer, it's not real for anyone else simply because they all know how he normally acts around them.

continuing to Mimzy for a short moment; she is proven to not be a reliable narrator at all so I don't want to really take what she tells about Alastor all too seriously. she even concludes her little tale about the radio demon with "That's the story most people know." which does not make it any true. something I thought is very interesting is that the only two people who might have any idea of how truthful Mimzy is in her story are both gone. Niffty, though she also does not seem like the most reliable narrator, is not part of this conversation, and Hus kates himself out of the scene almost in the same moment Mimzy starts talking about. Husk leaving is more important since he obviously knows more about not only Alastor but also the deal Alastor is bound to. Husk and Alastor might equally hate it, but Husk does seem to care about Alastor at least a little. warning the overlord about Mimzy and how she is known for only showing up when she needs something, and I'm sure Alastor is more than aware that Mimzy wouldn't show up simply to catch up with old friends, but still. the sentiment of Husk seeking Alastor out to warn him, and even mentioning how he [Alastor] has been gone for a while now, is in itself caring, especially when moments later the viewers find out how much more Husk seems to know about Alastor. it even seems as if he is aware of limitations, mentioning how it's "Big talk for someone who's also on a leash." coming from Alastor's deal, even if Alastor himself is ignoring them [see the line "Who in their right mind would cross me?"]

the whole fact that Husk even seems to know so much about Alastor's deal is confusing in a way. I can't see Alastor willingly going to Husk and telling him about not only the deal he made with someone above himself but also about the limitations of said deal, it just doesn't make sense for the character we know Alastor to be, and even when finishing the show my opinion doesn't change. it's even more prominent how he later hides away.

after this scene, Alastor isn't seen catching back up to Charlie, Vaggie, and Lucifer to continue annoying him simply by his presence. his outburst having left him apparently on edge - showing that he isn't as calm and calculated as he likes to pretend. he obviously struggles with his own anger, be it at Husk for bringing up that he knows about Alastor's deal, or himself for ever getting into the situation in the first place.

later we see Alastor taking care of Mimzy's problem -the loan sharks. he's not seen using his powers like he did when Sir Pentious attacked though, he willingly transforms into something eldritch to devour the threat instead of simply using the tentacles, which would've been just as easy for Alastor. in my eyes that's him getting rid of the last restlessness about his outburst at Husk. choosing to do it himself, showing he still has free will over what he does and doesn't do. if not proving it to Husk then proving it to himself that he can choose to do this. he goes all out, he even comments on it himself how he needs to let off steam and later on how he's important here and willingly choosing to be here, helping ["It's time to remind everyone [Husk] why I'm here."] Alastor needs Husk to know what happens when you cross him, and when you doubt him. because he took the comments about how long he's been gone and that he's also on a leash personally. I don't even think it's necessarily because Husk said it, it's that someone in hell said it. not a soul in hell is allowed to think that Alastor, the radio demon, is not strong enough to win every fight he chooses to start.

let me come back to Mimzy once more, as if this one scene scratching the surface of what lies underneath his smile-bright persona revealed by Husk wasn't enough we get Alastor being all buddy-buddy with Mimzy, who is not only acting like a friend to him but is also introduced as such. a normal friend to someone who is so obviously not normal.

but even with his more friendly behavior towards her, he ends up sending her away after the hotel has to suffer under the problem she brought along. ["I can't have that here."] If he was genuine with what he said then, why did he phrase it like that? I might be reading too much into it, but Alastor normally picks his words wisely enough to not let too much slip, and the sentence "I don't want this here." would've been better fitting for the situation, but he says can't have that here. new question, what can't he have here? Mimzy herself? someone who knows him better than the residence with maybe a habit of blabbering? or was it just the fact that it's her problems that he needs to fix? that he can't have her bringing more work than there already is at the hotel?

now making a bit of a jump, going from ep.5 to ep.7 this episode makes me mostly wonder about what Alastor could ask from Charlie later on based on the deal the two of them made. in terms of character, it gave us little besides his dynamic with Rosie and the entirety of cannibal city. though this was also not really anything new, more just what we already knew about Alastor in a new dynamic

there is one scene I do want to talk about though. his whole little speech around smiling. him actually standing by and admitting that he is hiding behind his smile did take me a second to actually realize what just happened, I did skip back to it because I was a little stunned by the absurdity of it all. after some thought it made sense that he might not mind it, Charlie does not know him well enough for this off-hand comment to truly affect anything for him, still it made me wonder. why would he reveal it to her? was he simply so sure that she wouldn't use it against him or did he think she wouldn't even think of using anything against him in this kind of way?

so it confirms that yes; Alastor uses his smile as a facade and also as a way to show he is above others who cannot hide behind a smile like he can. his smile means indifference to himself, neutrality. for him showing anything but the indifference that his smile represents is vulnerability. weakness.

let's move on to the actual "highlight" episode of "What We Learn about Alastor" ep.8

this surely was not the first time he got humbled badly by someone in a fight. it's what he wants to avoid most, the mask slipping, everyone seeing that he can be defeated, that he is not this otherworldly powerful being that not a soul in hell [or heaven] can touch. there had to be at least one very significant moment where he was powerless in a way. where he had to strike up a deal with someone higher, the one now binding him, now having him on a leash.

Alastor went into the fight with Adam overly confident, underestimating Adam's powers to the point he barely got away. he is, after all this, still a mortal soul. a sinner. Adam on the other hand was the first man which gives him roughly the same power Lilith must have. that in itself makes me think Alastor lasted a good deal longer in the battle than I would've thought. pure angelic powers far surpassing his own and he still 1) got away in the end and 2) was able to get in a few hits.

let's quickly touch on the fact that when Adam broke his microphone he seemed to be completely stunned, apparently not having thought that he could easily break his possession without any real resistance. I personally don't think his power is necessarily in the microphone [the was the simply gave it away to Charlie in ep.7 being my proof for why it can't be. he would never abandon his power just for Charlie to sing a song for a few cannibals] but what if it maybe is some kind of amplifier for it? maybe it's also pure placebo and Alastor was simply too stunned that Adam would go for the piece of equipment instead of for a deadly blow right away. the microphone surely was a confidence boost, feeling of being 'on air' the feeling of having his broadcast behind him while doing his everyday tasks giving him the boost he sometimes needs, his ego being constantly stroked by the knowledge that there would be countless sinners bowing to him if he simply said the words into his microphone. no longer being able to do that made him stutter in more ways than one, being momentarily careless, not prepared for Adam to strike again, deadly this time. he lost where he was in his performance, in his own show, and it made him mess up.

one interesting sentence is when Adam comments on how Alastor is just a mortal soul. "You should know better than anyone what a soul can accomplish when they take charge of their own fate." which makes me want to believe that's exactly what Alastor did, taking charge of his own fate. but the thing is that we know he did not. he made a deal with someone, and he doesn't have the ability to take charge of anything about his own being anymore. he's as much on a leash as he has Husk on one. that would only mean that he isn't at his full potential, held back by the deal he so desperately wants to get out of, and is actively looking for a way to get out of it. which turns this line into something else completely. Alastor reveals that he knows what he is capable of, but cannot parade his power due to his deal.

another interesting detail is his ears before he dissolves into his shadow. they are pinned back, showing not only agitation or fear but disorientation. he opens his mouth for no sound to come out and it frightens him to have come into this situation at all.

a big part of his mental disintegration in this moment surely is also the fact that if he had died at this moment, if Adams's hit was slightly more fatal, he would've died bound to the deal still. Alastor would have gone without being able to fulfill his own goal - getting rid of the chain around his throat. getting control back over his own afterlife. if he had died at Adam's hands, he would have died being possessed by someone else which we can assume is what Alastor sees as the lowest he can fall. the people bound to him by a deal mean nothing to him as it seems, we only ever got to see those who were needed for the Hotel.

while also, dying in this moment would have proven to everyone that he stayed to protect the hotel, his friends, but retreating and not being killed in a heroic death-wish battle be had proven to especially the audience that Alastor is not ride or die for these people.

in his breakdown ballad, we can finally see where he went to to lick his wounds. his entire breakdown also shows once again how scared he truly is of being inadequate. this wasn't just a reminder from Husk that he is indeed also on a leash, being pulled to where whoever holding it wants him to go, this is a rendezvous with death, barely escaping the situation that would have proven that he is too weak, at least while being bound by this deal he is [no longer] profiting from.

the place not only reeks of death for him, like he says in his song, but it also reeks of shame at the fact that he had nearly not made it out alive. it would've been seen as a noble act had he truly died in this scene, he had not died protecting himself, he had died protecting others. it is worse than dying on a leash even since at least almost no one knows about that, it would allow him to save some face. but dying for these people? he cannot even stand the thought of it.

in his mind he needs to keep up the smiling facade, the indifference in this smile he holds obviously so dear, for eternity. him dying should not allow the indifference he stands for to evaporate, he needs to play the act even after being killed in his afterlife.

even if this now ends rather abruptly, my work here is done. see you next time I start writing and simply don't stop for a while.

it truly is "Good to be back on the Air." with a newly cleaned-up space to talk about fandoms

this might be edited later on, nothing major, maybe just to have some actual continuity in it.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #alastor #hellaverse #vivziepop #vivianne miedema #character analysis #i just like tlaking about the little fucked up red guy #i am not normal about this show in the slightest #someone restrain me #i could talk about them endlessly #hazbin hotel ep. 5 / 7 / 8 specifically #hazbin spoilers #alastor character analysis #hazbin hotel alastor character analysis #the radio demon

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thedanniannie · 2 months

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I'm rereading Itachi's Story: Daylight, and I'm analyzing along the way...

I may only be five pages in, but that is not to say that there aren't many qualities about Itachi's character revealed in just that small chunk of text. It may be something we already know about the character, but the act of getting into the mind of the character to understand him is much more fulfilling to me than being shown it in the anime.

First off, the way part one, Chick in the dark night, yet to leave the nest, begins illustrates a formative part of Itachi's character. That being his first exposure to war. Which happens at the age of four. Why is this interesting? Let's consider the fact that itachi has already lived four years of life, but this is the first thing we learn with him. How would we see Itachi if we read his first breath of innocence? If we read about him playing with blocks, or giggling to his mom while she fed him lunch? If we knew he had a life of joy an innocence before his life as a ninja? We don't get to experience an innocence and youthful Itachi, and neither does Itachi.

He has yet to reminisce on his lost childhood since witnessing the war. The only thing this four year old child has to think about was work. It mentions on page 17 that Itachi was working despite even being admitted into the academy. So without knowing he has a place in the class, he was learning, ans he was learning mostly on his own. And while Itachi's motivation of eliminating war was as grandiose as a child wishing for peace on earth when writing a letter to Santa or whatever, he still is subject to premature maturity. On the same page, his mother, Mikoto, seems to notice that Itachi's "sounding too grown-up."

With this in mind, it will be interesting to come back to the analysis of Itachi's relationship with Sasuke, and even with the other characters he has a relationship with. Already we see, on page 17 after speaking with his mother, he's thinking already about what kind of sibling he's going to have. Considering he only has training on the mind, his curiosity about his new sibling is interesting. My opinion at this point is that Itachi cares about the innocence that his sibling will have, the innocence that Itachi doesn't have. I think it will seem precious to him, and that he will cherish that in his new sibling. Of course we know how this story ends, so I won't make any finalizing points. That and I want physical text to work off of, not just my memory.

I also am now curious about who Itachi was before his exposure to war. We already know he is a very observant and intelligent character. Whether this is due to ptsd and his ninja training education or not, I will still consider it. I think he was a very imaginative child. He had many fantastical worlds in his head, and he was that kind of child who would have big googly eyes to the world. He was very curious about how the world works. I will see how much of my hypothesis is true, as I assume his interactions with Shisui and Izumi may tell me a bit more about the itachi that lies deep in his subconscious.

Anyway, that's my rant on the first couple of pages. Can't believe this is how I decide to use my years if analyzing in college... anyhow, lemme know your thoughts and stay tuned for future ramblings!!!

#itachi naruto #itachi uchiha #itachi fanart #analysis #itachi fanfic

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alien-girl-21 · 1 year

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this probably wont make sense esp. since im talking as someone whose only seen k5 and mostly through translations lol but it's like- k!Luzu hurts to watch because he's both doomed by fate and his own hands- mostly fate in k4 it seems but like that leads into him being set up to fail in k5 because he doesn't remember the full context of what happened to him in k4 so he ends up screwing over himself and his best friend- but also it's like- he could've stopped, he could've trusted Quackity to handle the mayoral position and respected him instead of acting behind his back, he could've supported his friend and tried protecting him without hurting him even if that felt riskier, he could've accepted that he fucked up and admitted to committing fraud, he could've resigned as mayor- when he's shown the video of all of his and Quackity's moments together it hurts but he still decides to keep going- but then again why would he back down when as far as his memories could tell him the pain he inflicted on Q seemed like a lesser evil then letting him become mayor even if it meant breaking their friendship and overtime his priority shifts from protecting Quackity from Karmaland to protecting Karmaland from Quackity and so he can't just give up now but-he doesn't realize or maybe just doesn't want to acknowledge that things at that it turned out this way because he betrayed him in the first place- that the fraud and everything that follows was all for nothing now. And the longer he keeps going the worse the war gets, but the worse it gets the more like Luzu feels like he's in the right for staying as mayor for the greater good even if it hurts- having strayed so far from why he even ended up here in the first place and like- BASICALLY It's like he was set up to fail from the start but he could've stopped but then again why would he at any point- his unhappiness in k5 is both his fault and not his fault like- omg I didn't mean to ramble this much I've just been thinking about k!Luzu a lot lately and it's driving me a little nuts this ended up longer then I wanted it to 😵‍💫 I wish I knew more Spanish to do a proper analysis on him (and the revolution arc in general) because his character is really awesome- I hope this was alright, I like talking about k!Luzu but the language barrier always makes me feel nervous to do so LOL (Also I just want to clarify I'm not like absolving k!Quackity of any blame here because uh he did a LOT of fucked up shit and I share a lot of general sentiments that I brought up here with Luzu with him- like they're both were screwed by shit out of their control but also like neither are totally blameless for their suffering- I have a LOT of thoughts about k!Q too, but I just felt like focusing on Luzu's side of the story rn because of the k4 posts lol and this ask is long enough 😵‍💫)

I accidentally wrote way too much, dorry

K!luzu is soo tragic once you start thinking about it ngl

Since karmaland 4 he did nothing but help people. Someone needed food? He was giving them as much food as he had. Vegetta wated to tame a cat but didn’t have meat? Don’t worry, luzu will let himself be stabbed so vegetta can have his cat, and so on and so forth, He has the biggest heart during the beginning of the series, not only for the heroes, but for karmaland as a whole. Hell, I mean, his house got blown up like 3 times in one day and he didn’t even bat an eye and forgave the people that put the mines there, even if he lost his pig, Manolo, for a while during the commotion.

He said that he wants to be positive and help everyone else in karmaland. He loves doing good things for his friends, he has an entire episode dedicated to cooking his friends’ favorite foods! And when rubius told him it was part of his electoral campaign he said that no, it was because he loved his friends.

I guess one of the most tragic things looking into k4 after knowing what happens after the elections and everything that goes on in kv are his interactions with the hermandad oscura and his first therapy session with auron. Since the hermandad oscura was formed, they have been trying to get luzu to their side, they have blown up his house, stole his pig, and made him steal so they could give him Manolo back. Thing is, luzu never acts exactly how they want him to. They blow up his house? Oh well, he’ll patch it up. They steal Manolo and ask for ransom that has to be stolen? He’ll just put a lot of signs saying he’s sorry in the most nervous way possible while taking one diamond out of fargan’s chest. It’s impossible to make him do evil in one way or another, and they are tired of it.

When they give him Manolo back, they say: “we have seen there is darkness inside you (…) someday, you’ll know more” which he does have, he has that darkness inside him, and it comes out after the election, and it goes full blast in kv. But they try once again, to get him to their side 2 episodes later, when they swap the fake Manolo for the real manolo:

Luzu: there’s no bad blood (between us) after this mishap. But I think we could make a deal because of this. Hermandad oscura: We’re going to do something we normally don’t do, Luzu. There is evil inside you. L: (snorts) okay? HO: We’re granting you a pact. You can do one evil thing. L: You mean I have to do something evil? HO: No, you can tell us we can do something evil, and we will do it. L: This is a lot of power; I have never thought of something like that. HO: The consequences will be yours. L: Okay, so you will be the instrument for whatever evil I want you to do? HO: Exactly. L: Can I say it now? Because I have an idea. HO: Yes. L: Well, I don’t know if you know, but there’s a new Karmaland member (…) There’s a new member in Karmaland, Auronplay, he just started, and I think it would be funny —I don’t want you to hurt him— I want you to do something to entertain him, to welcome him to Karmaland like the rest of us. I think it would be funny for you to block his house and make a treasure hunt to find something, with different tramps, so he has to fight for his life… what do you think? HO: It’s a good idea, but it’s your idea. Everything that happens now is your fault. L: Okay, but don’t kill him, if he dies make sure it’s his fault, not yours– mine.

So, the hermandad oscura does as Luzu tells them, and auron has to do his little quest for some items that the hermandad oscura put in a chest with a code lock in, and every single sign left blames luzu for what happened. But they end up making up after it, so it’s like nothing ever happened in the first place. No matter what they do until before the elections, it doesn’t work.

Then, during his first session with auron as his therapist, they have many moments that just punch you in the face.

Auron: I’ve heard you are a very kind-hearted person, that you are one of the few that enters conflicts and is always smiling (…) that’s what they say, that’s why I’m asking, why are you here?

Luzu: I don’t know if you’re heard, but there’s going to be elections in Karmaland for being the mayor (…) the elections are coming up, and I’ve been feeling this pressure that grows, that I didn’t realize before (…) you know I’ve been preparing my campaign and some friends have betrayed me during this (…) I think that (everyone should have) free choice, you know? Everyone has to be the person they want, but of course, I think: what did I do wrong? What did I do? Because, of course, I made my friend react that way, so I don’t know what I did wrong and I want support so I know how to take this campaign. And if I become mayor, it’s because of you helping me with the pressure…

So yeah, he wants to be mayor, but he feels the pressure, and it’s even more when mangel, who was meant to be the creative director of the campaign, decided to form his own political party. And then you look at luzu in kv, he’s constantly saying to quackity that he shouldn’t mess around in politics, that it’s not worth it. Which I think lines in with what auron says next:

“This is a tricky subject, my father always used to say: ‘never talk about football and politics on the dinner table’. I have to say politics creates many betrayals, many enemies, it’s tricky, and you knew what you were getting into”

What does luzu say to quackity whenever he brought up running for mayor? That it’ll destroy his life, that it’s not worth it. In kv luzu accidentally became auron, he did not only become the therapist of karmaland, but he was saying stuff that auron had once told him to quackity, the naïve kid with a dream (in luzu’s eyes).

Luzu was betrayed, someone decided to step up last second in the election and run along-side luzu, his friends voted for them; his friend left him behind for the other guy because he had power. Luzu was failed by everyone he knew and he fucking snapped. He had flashbacks to this in kv, and that’s why he repeated his own history, to save quackity from what he thought was going to be a fate worse than dying.

Luzu is just surrounded by a narrative that’s always against him. He tries to do good; he tries to be positive, he tries for people to like him, see him as a friend. But it always fails, people think he’s the hermandad oscura, no way a guy is so nice just because; he gets betrayed in the thing that meant the most to him because of the need of power. But he still does good, I mean, if it wasn’t for him the members of kv could have never gone back to k4. Even in kv, if he didn’t trust anyone, he still helped them out, he was still there in all the events being friends with everyone.

Mucho texto, so I will finish with: tl;dr: k!luzu is doomed by the narrative and the narrative lets you know like it’s a slap on the face and I think cc!luzu should be praised more for his storytelling skills <3

#this makes no sense whatsoever #this is why i can't write proper analysis of media LMAO my brain just writes down whatever it's thinking of #anyway i love k!luzu so much he's my bbg <3 #and everyone go watch episode 31 of his k4 series it gives so much good insight into k!luzu and the person he becomes in kv <3 #because if it were for me i would've translate that entire video because GOD

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weirdlyfitting · 1 year

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Hmmm long time no ramble abt myself so here i am lmaooo

I've been keeping these thoughts and problem to myself and it has affected my mental health tbh, just ignore this if y'all don't want to read some negativity cause this had a lot of it :(

So what happened???

Long story short i enjoy video essays so much (especially for mcu) but because they've been too critical these days that the contents made me uncomfortable in so many ways

I love, LOVEEE video essays cause not only i learn something from a writing standpoint it's also about my favorite thing, it's like listening to a friend's story while i'm doing something or nothing, well mostly i did it when drawing tho

IF i watched these kinds of contents again again and againnnn, it's not enjoyable and i feel like it's too much. Kinda ironic considering one of the critics for phase 4 included having too many projects and simply being too much.

There are some points that i def agree on tho, but seriously when could these people talk about the good stuff that came out of phase 4? As in stuff like these

AND ESPECIALLY THIS

Back then i watched the wandavision analysis video after i started to watch (well obvi) wandavision and it grew on me because as the show went on he kept uploading the analysis of each new episodes up to the finale :D

It's incredibly shocking for me to learn that trauma played a really important role on the whole story, pretty much the same with real life tho so it's (again shockingly for me) relatable

Some times later then i find this video i'm beyond sad, and i think i had a breakdown??? Idk my memory's a mess but yea it affected me til this day

I hated the way she's handled in multiverse of madness like she's just having a solo story on her journey of 5 stages of grief and holy fuck she's a villain now??? But pre multiverse of madness she is a great hero to me

I feel like this guy didn't understand or acknowledge what psychosis is (NOT psychopath) when making the video tho (when talking abt pre mom wanda)

I've ever had a psychotic break and i relate to wanda a little by little as the episode went on, it's maddening because i couldn't control any of what i see, hear, or feel. God I just wish more people are kinder on mental health subject :(

I'm not a psychopath, i'm not a narcissist. I'm in need of serious help and by watching positive essays about my comfort characters, movies, or shows helped me understanding the why and what caused it (yes therapy is expensive). I needed comfort and i'd never do harm to others to get that comfort, the psychotic breakdown only happened to me and i've seen shits that i don't want to see anymore. It's a lot :(

Anyway back to it, i've rarely seen anyone who made a video essay talking and explaining about the good stuff that came from phase 4. As in like "the whole phase" yknow?

I mean this phase isn't perfect, maybe far from it tho, there were up and downs yes they exists, too many projects that made mcu feels like a homework and not an event.

But this phase was also one of the only thing that were there for me in dark times, reminder that in 2021 the pandemic still exist and i wasn't able to learn fully at school and all those stuff

Let's say i was still isolated from outside life, really is an introverted person and all i had was internet and comfy bedroom, not to mention my psychotic breakdown happened too for sometimes

When no way home came i feel like it's a movie made for me cause i was kinda in peter's place. I was too struggling to find a university, i didn't know where to go and watching this movie made me feel safe and keeping me to keep going to search on my uni

Then oh my god where do i even begin : moon knight

this show changes lives and i'm one of those life who's changed jagsjsgshsgs, i was in my darkest and i mean it, DARKEST mental state i've ever been on. But this show kept me going, this show was there for me, greeting itself as a friend then it grew on me as time changes. I'm forever grateful to watch this show when it's still aired from the first ep 🥺

I met a uni friend who loved moon knight and overall mcu and oscar too, plus the moots in here aaaa it's just so memorable!

So yeah, phase 4 may be messy and all but it's a good mess for me. I simply would not care anymore if i recieve negative essay reccommendations on my youtube, i'd only watch them when i feel like i want to

With now in phase 5 tho, i'm hoping the flaws from phase 4 can improove. I feel like quantumania is def an okay start for phase 5

there's always a room to grow

#mcu #marvel cinematic universe

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bookwyrminspiration · 3 years

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(pyro here! i feel like this is...very ramble-y and i apologize if this doesn't make sense, and no obligation to post if it all feels like i'm just going in circles or for any other reason)

this could just be me, but i find keeper to be so interesting in so many ways but mostly because of how little actual good guys and bad guys there are, if that makes sense? it doesn't seem like it on the surface, and the story seems rather clear-cut if you don't think about it too hard, but there's no character or group in the series that's completely perfect and hasn't done anything wrong ever, iirc? like, the council is very obviously not too pressed over whether their actions are morally right and they're the government of a species that's supposedly all about being righteous, and neither are the black swan nor neverseen, which i find really interesting to look at, especially when the protagonists start to realize these things and question them, outwardly or inwardly.

and even any developed individual characters aren't clear-cut. yes, sophie is our protagonist, but she's also an arsonist that frequently breaks the laws of her world and has nearly started a war by breaking a treated because she was curios as to what was in an ogre king's mind. linh is- well, she's the token nice asian girl, but she also flooded an entire city, twice, and has most definitely killed people. dex may not have done anything really wrong, but he still created the ability restrictor, a device that put his best friend through days/weeks of torment, all because he was happy to recieve attention from the council. and that's just three of the main characters.

and i'm under the impression you really don't care about the council (which is fine and totally valid!) but it's still so interesting how the three important characters from there follow this as well. oralie was revealed to be sophie's mother meaning she committed treason and should probably be in exile, kenric was actively hiding important information from oralie (and knew about her being sophie's mother and therefor was a willing accomplice to treason and should also be in exile), and bronte has gotten...better(?) in the later books? maybe?

i suppose im wishing that shannon will deliver on this in the future, but im not really getting my hopes up. sophie is very interesting, but the books have always framed her actions as the right ones to take, no matter how terrible the consequences could've been, and they definitely frame the rest of the "good guys" as, well, good people who do good things, which isn't exactly true in most cases. i just...i guess i find it really interesting. i'd also be interested to hear your thoughts on this! on the surface, keeper really does seem like a rather basic series, but it's cool how if you dig even just a little deeper you start getting messy.

hello pyro !! nothing to apologize for, I love rambling! and you are in luck because I happen to have so many thoughts about everything all of the time.

and I agree with you! When you first think of keeper—or at least when I do—I seems very black and white, even bland at times in terms of the interest of the characters and the aspects of their world. Especially when you’re an older reader and have since read more adult books with more complex characters. Which is common. Because these are middle grade series and there’s more limitations of what topics authors can reasonably cover. They’re being careful. Because their audience are young and impressionable and despite their best efforts may be influenced subconsciously. So they have to lay things out more clearly, explaining that actions are bad when adult readers can put that together themselves.

(I know there are a lot of younger people in this fandom so let me clarify: I am not saying you are incapable of critical thought. However, thorough analysis becomes easier with experience, and adults and older readers will often have more experience with this than you. We’ve also had more time to figure out our own opinions and morals. This is not meant to put you down, just remind you that there are inevitable differences between us).

Back to what you were saying, pyro, despite its appearance, when you take a closer look there’s actually not a lot of black and white—or at least not as much as you’d think. I know there’s a canon line where Sophie says something like “the Black Swan were…the good guys?” (paraphrased from the first book). Which makes sense because at this point in time she’s twelve, where it makes sense for her to have that very black and white mindset. Good and bad. Pleasant and unpleasant. it’s a very all nothing mindset, which I know I also had at that age. But as she’s grown older in the series, she’s thinking about things from a more mixed perspective. She’s bargaining with herself and deciding what’s worth what and if the consequences are worth the risks, making decisions she likely would’ve condemned earlier in her life. Like setting the storehouse on fire. That’s a very loaded and controversial decision from her. It’s neither good nor bad. It accomplishes something she wants—sending the Neverseen scrambling and setting them back—and she decided that was worth the consequences—burning potential information and doing something that might’ve been previously against her morals. It’s not the “right” decision to make. It’s just the decision she makes.

We see this a lot with Black Swan too. I’m actually going to bring their oath into this: “I will do everything in my power to help my world.” It seems simple and straightforward at first, but thinking about it, there’s no qualifications for what “help” means. And there’s no limit on what they’ll do, just that they’ll do it if they’re capable. This leaves it open for a lot of morally questionable decisions, like creating Sophie. Did creating Sophie help their world? She’s already started to make positive changes (like at Exillium) and she’s not done yet, so you could say yes she’s helping. And they were capable of bringing her into existence. So they did. It was in their power and it helped, so they did. Despite using Emma’s body, despite forcing Sophie into this situation.

with the Neverseen, they seem more like misguided anti-heroes (if I’m using that term right), doing “bad” things for “good” reasons. Fintan is making these bold statements and undermining the council, actions viewed as negative, to try and highlight the unfair discrimination in their system and reform it—a motive one could consider reasonable and positive.

as for the council, the most notable event this applies to is Sophie’s ability restrictor in Everblaze. This was not supported by everyone else, actively hurting out main protagonist, but their reasoning was generally sound. Sophie had already broken several laws at this point as was causing unrest in their society, the one they’re supposed to govern. And she’d used her abilities yet again to go against those rules, this time with incredible serious consequences. So if she refuses to listen, what do you do? Take away those abilities. Keep her from hurting this society further. There are more specific examples of this, like Oralie and Kenric’s cache, but this is getting long so i can talk about those later if you’d like /g

part of what is intriguing about these characters is how they’re not so black and white on the surface despite the world seeming to be so easily divided into good and bad, so it’s fascinating to talk about how those parts are actually displayed. You brought up a lot of really good topics and I love talking about this!! /g

if you’d like me to expand on any specific part more or have more thoughts of your own to share, you’re more than welcome to send another ask <33

#I kinda zoned out there just talking about the characters #so I don’t remember everything I said #but damn do I have So Many Thoughts #character analysis my beloved #pyro you’re incredible #I love you /p #if you’re comfortable with that #kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #kotlc fandom #kotlc character analysis #long post #quil’s queries #nonsie #anonymous #pyrokinetic-loser

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birb-tangleblog · 3 years

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I'm curious on your thoughts about Moon Cassandra. Many people seem to find the character unsympathetic in season 3, and maybe a way this could've been avoided is if the moon stone went into cass's mind, found her insecurities, and amplified them so she would take the moon stone (essentially twisting her into a person of only anger and hurt)? The king hinted that it could play mind tricks. Just have her (or rather the moonstone) be the main villian, no gothel or zhan tiri. What do you think?

Ty for such a thoughtful ask, this was fun to consider! I'm kinda having a hard time organizing my thoughts and making everything flow together tonight, so bear w/ me:

I really like Moon Cassandra as a concept! It's unique, character-driven, was genuinely surprising, and I like the themes it plays into. But I also agree w/ the sentiment that the plot with her wasn't executed well, mostly re. her motivations and redemption. (And there's also this... general confusion/dissonance in the writing between what the showrunners seem to have intended vs. what they actually ended up implying.)

Imo Cass had a great setup for her villain arc, a solid reason to take the moonstone, and she was already a sympathetic character in S2- but the Gothel twist really hamstringed that.

Her arm being withered by someone so close to her, feeling overshadowed, bitterness and resentment, with some justified unhappiness over how her friends had been treating her is a really solid internal motivation, and it’s easy for me to feel for and even relate to her struggle. How many princess shows focus on the main char's best friend struggling w/ insecurity and self-worth, and make overtures at examining and deconstructing privilege and chosen one destiny narratives?? That's good stuff!

But then S3 revealed her surprise parentage, and we get massively downgraded from a strong internal motivation to a weak external one. It isn’t a natural conclusion to the previous build-up and it’s far less compelling. The wonkiness of this choice has been talked about and criticized extensively, but tl;dr I think it's hard to feel sympathy for Cass when her feelings are hard to understand, and her reasons for lashing out don’t make sense.

Compare/contrast Varian’s more straightforward char progression and motives in S1; it’s easy to see why he feels and acts the way he does, and it's easy to feel bad for his circumstances.

(As an aside, she also has little agency in her redemption, and how it plays out makes any remorse/guilt seem kiiiinda insincere. That def doesn't help put her in the audience's good graces... but I feel like that's a diff issue.)

(And yeah, the twist works a little better wrt Cass’ villain arc if you view it with a ton of personal interpretation/analysis/subtext- e.g. seeing Gothel choose Raps over her was a tipping point, symbolic of all her other struggles, etc. etc.- but that's still not what's emphasized in the show itself. The cracks that started to show in S2 never come back up, but Gothel being her mother does, repeatedly- and it's a bad look.)

I've seen a lot of reenvisionings of S3 and Cass' villain arc w/o the Gothel twist, but idk if I've seen the idea of a ZT-less S3 w/ more emphasis on the moonstone as a semi-sentient entity. It's an interesting variation and I like it!

I think what you describe is actually kind of what happened- just with ZT actively manipulating and pushing Cass in that direction instead of the moonstone. Which, iirc, jives w/ how the creators thought of ZT in her ghostly form as a manifestation of intrusive thoughts and bad impulses- but that ended up putting ZT in an awk place herself, and made for some other issues with her characterization/motivation seeming underdeveloped. I could totes see the moonstone playing the same role without those complications. It might also allow for ZT to enter the story in a diff way.

I think having Cass be overtly influenced by the moonstone would run the risk of decreasing her agency as a char a bit, so I’d say that it could work well w/ the caveat that the underlying choices would still have to be all Cass. The moonstone making her evil wouldn't work for me- for the same reason that Cass being a doppelganger or being possessed after coming out of the door weren’t my fav theories pre-S3.

Possessing the stone could negatively affect her mental state, make her more destructive b/c that's the stone's nature, or increase her willingness to go to extremes by lowering her inhibitions- but the anger, hurt, and insecurity getting amplified are all old emotional wounds that had been there for a long time before then, y’know? (And that might’ve actually been a cool parallel with Catalina’s werewolf curse, actually.)

(On the flipside, very deliberately giving Cass less agency would prob have made it easier for many fans to forgive her actions. And maybe that'd have better suited how the writers wanted Cass to come off by the end of the season?)

That line about the moonstone whispering really seemed like it'd be more significant, and I wish they'd done something w/ it too. I'm not sure if it was a red herring or if they just dropped the ball there (like with so many other threads that got forgotten lmao). I guess we're left to conclude that Edmund is hearing voices from being isolated for so long? Though if he was to have a throwaway line about mental instability, you think they wouldn't have namedropped the extremely important magical artifact...

a;lksfa;dfj; I hope this is coherent and I'm not just rambling, I think the tl;dr of this post is just, any take on S3 and Cass' villain arc that is more character-driven and builds on what S1-2 established is going to appeal to me. The Gothel twist goes in the opposite direction, so I have an extremely hard time with it and it’s frustrating. Giving more personality and lore to the drops is also always gonna be interesting! I enjoy headcanons that give the sundrop/moonstone added quirks.

Honestly, something I enjoy about Moon Cass as a char is just how many directions I can see her going in as an antagonist that feel believable.

#ask #text post #heck I hope this makes sense #I almost did bullet points I just cannot put the thoughts together cohesively lmao #but like... if the focus on S3 was supposed to be all abt Cass and Raps relationship #why introduce Gothel/Ziti as outside factors at all #there's enough there btwn the two of them w/o it #discussion and theories #cassandra #my post

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threeletterslife · 3 years

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CHjakldfjskANA I am lowkey embarrassed to say that I am confused by pt 2 of Ignis Fatuus ;-; I get what happens literally, but I'm pretty sure I'm missing out on all of the more underlying messages and what the ending is supposed to represent and what you were intending to convey ;-; I guess I'll just talk about parts that I thiNk I understood and hopefully won't make me sound like an idiot :D I really liked how the endings to both the dream and reality were paralleled,

but houf I was kind of exasperated in the beginning when everyone was dying on the hypothetical trip to the hospital. I always kind of felt like they would just let Y/N die, because logically speaking, even if they ended up at the hospital, none of them are really qualified to treat TSS so they would just be going on a suicide mission because as shown, zombies are e v e r y wh e r e :D So when it was revealed that was only a dream, I was like yAY thank goodness :,,) The part at the end before

Y/N dies when Jungkook corrects her saying “it’s did well and not did good” was a reaLLY nice way to end things though :,) jklsfjkls I don’t know, Chana pls send help+explanations because I’m definitely only understanding the very surface level ideas of Ignis Fatuus D: I think the very vEry ending though is a big part of the whole Ignis Fatuus thing though because back in pt 1 in Target Jungkook was like omg yes don’t worry Y/N things will be over and we’ll definitely be able to play baseball

again without any zombies around, but aaa Chana why are there thRee “endings”,, that’s making me think there’s something very elaborate about how all of the endings could be tied together/are related :,D 🌻 anyways I think? the first part to my ask might've not gone through because it didn't have the "thank you, your ask has been received" message when I clicked ask but o well :,) it was just me lowkey embarrassing myself because I am confused on the ending of Ignis Fatuus :,)

[SPOILER WARNING!]

GOOD NEWS! the first part of your ask WAS received!! and omg yes i totally understand ignis fatuus pt 2 was kinda hectic so lemme just clear up the confusion ✨

i think the whole ignis fatuus stORY is a bit hard to digest. the only ‘realistic’ element in the story is really that the members self-quarantined LOL. other than that, i really took inspiration from the office (though it may not seem like that). jungkook and yn are the only “normal” ones in the group of eight just like jim and pam were the only normal ones in an office full of crackheads LMAO. i just thought it would be cool to tell the story of two normal pple stuck with six other crazies (all equally obsessed with something different. i mean namjoon studying DURING the apocalypse?? seokjin obsessed with the kitchen? hoseok obsessed with his secretary??) and i chose to go for a very subtle romance so it wouldn’t overshadow the other dynamic characters

to elaborate on the endings!

the first one (the one that yn dreams): only in her wildest dreams would the seven men yn’s learned to love and live with DIE to save her. i mean, in a sick, twisted way, isn’t that what so many romance movies depict? the knight sacrifices his life to save his princess. it’s shit that only happens in your head. it’s tragic and stupid, yes, but also honorable in it’s own way. maybe yn subconsciously wanted all seven men to help save her life (even though it wouldn’t logically make sense). but maybe she wanted a knight in shining armor. i mean, isn’t that what media brainwashes women to think? yn’s dream is her subconscious acting up. she’s a helpless woman (sick from a mf bacterial infection that women mostly get) and she must depend on men to save her. but the end of her dream concludes that it’s not a matter of who saves who. some people just can’t be saved. yn doesn’t have a knight in shining armor. even before she got sick, she is a strong, independent woman. jungkook offers her emotional support, but he never outwardly saves her from any disasters. in fact, in part 1, yn is the on who saves jk. maybe, in yn’s subconscious, she wants to be saved. who doesn’t? it’s not a female v. male thing. being saved just means doing less work (and who doesn’t want that?). the savior, on the other hand, must go through the trauma and carry the responsibility of another’s life. maybe that’s why yn had her dream! another, more obvious reason yn’s dream turned out that way may be because that’s her worst fear—watching everyone she cared about die in front of her eyes (but also being too helpless to be able to stop it). she’s also afraid of dying alone, which she did in her dream. you’re absolutely right though! the second part of ignis fatuus is supposed to make you feel exasperated—frustrated and pissed, even. it’s just supposed to be nonsense, honestly. just stupid shit happening in rapid succession. it’s literally a fever dream. and also a dream carefully crafted by yn’s subconscious

a lot of the ‘deeper’ meaning is very subjective, though! and even as the writer, my analysis is still subjective. you can honestly analyze ignis fatuus in so many other ways. no analysis is wrong. and it’s also perfectly fine to have no analysis at all!

the second ending (with yn actually dying) is easier to explain. it’s a direct contrast from yn’s dream where everyone was trying to be the hero. reality is different. even at the end of part 1, joon and jk knew that they wouldn’t be able to take yn to the hospital. yoongi even knew yn would die. they wouldn’t even think of such an outrageous idea to go to the hospital at all. they may have hinted taking yn to the hospital only to make her feel better, to make her feel safe. but they would’ve never actually done it. the plan was always to let her die in the house (as sad as it sounds). but there was really nothing left to do! as you said, none of them (even joon and tae) is qualified to treat tss (nor do they have the medical equipment to do so). the second ending is more of the closure that the first ending didn’t provide. yn wished to die in jk’s arms in the first ending and she got what she wanted in the second ending. but i still didn’t exactly think ending the story with yn’s death (tWICE) would be the best. something didn’t feel right. so i felt like i had to add the third ending for better closure

and you’re totally right! i connected the third ending to what jk and yn had talked about in target. this is essentially a glimpse of their dreams come true. something that didn’t necessarily happen, but something that the readers can imagine and feel at peace with. i thought it was good to wrap up such a traumatic part 2 with something lighter, something sillier and something happier. ignis fatuus is a mf roller coaster. and the title itself ‘ignis fatuus’ literally means something deceptive/deluding. i think part 2 encompassed that well

as for the purpose of this story? to answer the question you may be having, “if yn died after this whole ass journey,,, what was the mf POINT?” maybe there isn’t a point. maybe there is no rhyme or reason. maybe i just told a story as it is. kind of like a reference to waiting for godot but on the less indifferent side. BUT! i would honestly argue that there IS a point! i think the relationship yn made with the seven very distinct men is special. the seven of them are depictions of very stereotypical men. a nerdy med school student, a grumpy bus driver, an impatient businessman, a spoiled daddy’s money lawyer, a scaredy-cat cop, an obsessive chef and a too-perfect-to-be-true baseball player. i think part 1 is interesting to see how the eight of them have created this synergy together. it’s also interesting to see in part 2 how yn twists the men’s stereotypes to fit in the fever dream narrative

ignis fatuus is one of my more depressing stories. i had the idea since january of 2019 so i spent quite a bit of time thinking about it before i decided to write it. i didn’t think i’d end on a lighter note, but i’m happy it turned out that way.

aNYWAYS sorry this turned out so long 😭😭😭i guess i rambled too much again oOPS. but i swear you’ll get a break from all this depressing writing LOL. i’m not posting another official story until january 15th! (and GOOD NEWS that story is going to be FLUFF!)

as usual thank you sm for such a kind message 🥺🥺

#ask #anon #🌻 anon #ignis fatuus

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