#writing: aegis

[autisticlancemcclain]

The ship was shaking like a kid holding a goldfish bag.

It was not, in case you were wondering, a good time. 

Keith grit his teeth, planting his boots on the ground and half-walking half-climbing over to Allura, who was paler than Keith had ever seen her. The grip she had on her podium was tight enough to drain the blood completely from her knuckles. Despite his own fear, Keith’s heart softened for her. 

“How is it looking?” he asked, shouting over the noise of a thousand asteroids and a million laser strikes. All while their lions sat, drained of quintessence, locked in their hangars

One goddamn thing after another. Jesus. 

“It is looking bad,” Allura shouted, not taking her eyes off the space in front of her. “I can’t – Coran, I can’t hold it on my own!”

Coran looked back at her grimly. He had probably the most success keeping upright – seriously, was it posture or did he have a steel rod anchored to his back at all times – but even he was struggling against the whipping and shuddering of the massive castleship, attention focused on the controls. Trying to keep the shield up as well as possible, trying to get their own defenses running. Trying, as always, to keep the castle going, even when the odds were a million to nothing. 

“You can,” he encouraged. The effect was less encouraging when a massive asteroid hit the side of the bridge point-blank, throwing him right off the controls and splat into the walls. Despite Lance and Allura’s cries of alarm, he made a startlingly dignified crawl back to the deck controls.

Hell of a man, that advisor. 

He continued once he was steady, sweat beading on his brow but gaze soft and assuring. He waited for Allura to meet his eyes, then nodded, once. “Focus, girl. Hands on the spheres. Mind cool on the exhale. However we need to get out of this – you can guide us. Make your decision. Your team is behind you.”

“Yeah!” Pidge cheered, lifting her fist in emphasis from where Shiro held her steady, eyes trained on her computer screen. Blaring red lines of code Keith could not pretend to read flashing rapid speed in front of her, and she typed back at it just as fast, keeping their crackling systems at bay. “You got this!”

Allura breathed out. The tense line of her shoulders softened, just slightly, despite the ongoing chaos. She lifted her hands and rested them, gently, on the podium spheres as Coran instructed. They glowed. 

“We retreat,” she decided, nodding to herself. “We’re already low on quintessence, standing to fight will drain us dangerously. We must get to safety if we are to survive with our home intact.” She bit her lip, eyes opening. “But, uh, full disclosure, I have enough strength in me to open a wormhole and that is About It. I will be out of commission the moment it closes.”

Hunk shrugged. “We’ll catch you, then.”

“Try not to wormhole us into a black hole,” Shiro suggested, smiling slightly. “We’ll manage anything else, Princess.”

She laughed slightly, thankfully, but within seconds called out for everyone to brace themselves. Keith did as she heeded, or he tried to – but the castle got hit as he tried to crawl back to his seat, sprawling him on the floor. He glanced over at Allura, panicked, but her eyes were already glowing, and the space in front of them was already starting to warp. He swallowed roughly, squeezing his eyes shut. The floor was shaking too badly for him to get his bearings. He couldn’t get his feet under him, couldn’t stand, couldn’t dream to crawl to his seat. He stilled, resigning himself – he didn’t know exactly what would happen if he wasn't strapped down and protected during a wormhole jump, but it couldn’t be good. He had to hope for the best.

“God,” sighed a voice to his left, “you’d die without me, Dropout.”

A hand clenched the back of his jacket and yanked, pulling him tumbling onto another body. Quick as lightning a seatbelt was stretched over him, clicking into place just as the space in front of the castle finally warped, bright blue, and the entire bridge lit up so bright Keith was blind with it. 

When the light finally died down, Keith was half-convinced nothing had changed. The castle stopped shaking, but instead it was plummeting, hard and fast, controls dead and energy gone, towards the surface of a planet. 

“Someone catch Allura!” Coran shouted, and on queue the princess’ eyes rolled up in her head and she slumped forward. Luckily, Hunk had been more prepared than the rest of them, seatbelt already off and arms extended to catch her. He carried her back to her seat, buckling her in carefully, and strapping himself in next to her. Wise move – trying to crawl back to his own seat, fighting against the G-forces, would be near impossible.

There was a click, and then a shove, and then Keith got to feel those G-forces firsthand.

“What the hell!” he demanded, barely managing to catch himself on the arm of the blue paladin’s seat. “I coulda brained myself!”

Lance shrugged, playing for innocent, but a smirk pulled at the corner of his mouth. Keith could’ve strangled him. “What? Thought I’d let you get back to your own chair. You're welcome for saving you, by the way.”

“Some saving, jerk! We're still falling!”

“Yeah. Personally, I would find somewhere to buckle up.”

“You’re so annoying,” Keith growled, and it was by spite alone that he managed to stomp back to his own seat and buckle himself in. He was bright red, anger making him hot – Lance always made him like this, so furious he could barely blink. One day they’d be making progress, working together like a dream, wiping the floor together, and the next it was like a switch was flipped. Like Lance was reminding himself that he and Keith could never get along. It was ridiculous, and Keith couldn’t for the life of him understand it. Was he so bad?

“Incoming!” Pidge shouted, shaking Keith back to himself. Her screen was now linked up with Coran’s, the only two things on in the entire castle – electronics seemed to come alive when Pidge touched them – and diagrams of the castle systems were blaring red, flashing with symbols Keith didn’t know, but recognised as bad. “The nav and power systems are down! It’s not safe to get anyone back there to force them back on manually, but I think I can get steering up in a sec. Shiro, I need your arm for power. Hunk, keep on Allura, make sure she’s upright when we crash, we don’t want a spinal injury. Lance, Keith, I’m turning steering over to you guys. Don’t fuck it up.”

Despite their bickering, both of them nodded. Neither of them particularly wanted to be turned into paladin pancake anytime soon, so they could collaborate for one thing. 

Seconds after Pidge spoke, a screen flickered to life in front of Keith. Stats blinked back up, glitching rapidly as they translated themselves into words and symbols Keith could understand. The hologram shifted and expanded to its usual 3D model, joystick in the middle, thrusters and controls to his left, a screen with Lance’s comm line to his right. In his little screen, Lance met his eyes, eyebrows raised in question. Keith nodded. Together, they wrapped their hands around the joysticks, breathed out, and let their minds fuse.

As always, it was a freaky feeling. Imagine the weird, shuddery feeling you get when you say the same thing as someone at the same time, voices layering, tone mixing, for a moment your own voice and the voice of a stranger synching into one. The weird, deja-vu-but-not of it, the uncanny valley feel of recognising your own voice but…different. 

Then multiply that freakiness by a hundred, and you still won’t quite get it. 

On some levels Keith was aware that he was his own person. He knew his name, knew his hands, knew his history – or well, some of it. Nothing about himself had changed. 

But at the same time, he was also Lance Esposita-McClain. He knew his name, knew his hands, knew his history, more of it than he could ever get from shared stories or mind melds. There’s no telling the way your sister’s arm feels hooked around your neck for the sixth noogie in as many minutes. There’s no explaining the way your breathing only gets calm with your feet in the saltwater. There’s no describing the curve of your mother’s smile. Nothing Keith was seeking out – no memories he would even know to look for – but they were there, simmering, triggered by a smell or the crook of his finger in a particular way. Memories stored in the body and the soul and the senses, not in the brain, shared when two consciousnesses become one. 

Lance’s mind was hyperspecific. It complemented Keith’s well, with all his flitting, quick detail-oriented observance. As Keith jumped from angle to angle, noticing the planet’s curve, the pull of its gravity, the heat of its atmosphere, Lance zeroed in on an island, one of the only ones big enough for them to land. While Keith kept their craft in control, steering along the air currents, Lance kept them directed, single-minded focus on a stretch of rocky beach – not exactly a soft landing, but not a lot of living things for them to destroy when they crash. (Keith would’ve chosen to land in the meadow. Crushing frogs and bugs or whatever is never something on his top priority list of things to avoid. But he didn’t argue when Lance nudged them towards what is about to be a very bumpy landing.)

“Brace yourself!” he shouted, not daring to look away to make sure his friends were buckled. Trusting that they were, he held his position, letting them plummet, coming closer and closer to splatting on the planet’s surface before finally yanking on the joystick as hard as he could. He felt Lance’s strength twist and tangle with his own, and together the two of them levelled the castle almost parallel with the ground, letting them glide on their own velocity until they slowed down enough to let the bottom of the craft brush against the rocky outcrop. 

It was the most turbulent landing Keith has ever felt, except maybe that time he and Lance crashed blindfolded into a sand dune, and every bump on the ground gave him whiplash. When the castle finally hit the ground for good, dragging them a gauge in the ground for several miles as friction finally slowed it to a stop, the leftover inertia yanked Keith forward so roughly the buckles of his seatbelt made something crack in his ribcage. When the castle finally stopped he got slammed back into his chair so hard he was almost surprised he didn’t fall right through the impenetrable material. 

It took a minute for everything to hit. His connection with Lance had been severed the second they hit the ground, too focused on being, y’know, crashed to keep holding on. After the shock of being tossed around like dice in a cup wore off, which did not take long, Keith’s body made it very clear that yeah, no, armour actually only does so much, and crash landing is one of those things that’s just bound to hurt. His skull pounded. At least one of his ribs was most definitely cracked. His wristed and knuckles ached from the strain of holding up the entire weight of the castle as he’d steered it. He was alive, obviously, but – Jesus. Being alive sucked.

“Sound off,” croaked Shiro from somewhere left of him.

“Ugh,” groaned Pidge. “Screw you, Keith, I hate it when you drive.”

“Next time I’ll be sure to let us crash,” Keith responded flatly.

“Um, you did, bozo, I asked you to land us –”

“The castle was dead! What did you expect me to –”

“Allura and I are both fine,” Hunk interrupted. Amusement lined his voice. “She’s still out, but she’s breathing fine, and I didn’t let her hit anything on impact. She should still get checked out, though.”

“Roger that,” Coran agreed. “Ease your worries, Number Two, you did well. I will have her in the MedBay as soon as our systems are up and running again.”

“Oh, whew, that’s a relief, because I didn’t want to say anything but she kinda jammed her elbow into my sternum by accident and I’m not blaming her or anything since she’s unconscious but I think my spleen may be a little dead, not a huge deal I’m sure but –”

“Everyone quiet!” barked Shiro. “That’s six accounted for! Who’s missing?”

Immediately, heart pounding, Keith whipped to his right. His stomach dropped. The Blue Lion Command Chair was empty – seatbelt torn somewhere on the shoulder, cracked helmet overturned carelessly on the seat. The crisp blue and white lines were marred by a small splash of red. Panic clawed its way up Keith’s throat, and he was out of his seat before he could register unbuckling his own straps, looking frantically around the bridge. 

“He’s here somewhere,” Pidge fretted, “he couldn’t’ve just disappeared –” 

Coran had a gloved hand clenched in his hair. “The windows and walls should be almost impenetrable, there is no way the crash broke them enough to let someone in –”

“What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck –”

“Guys,” a soft voice interrupted, and Keith could’ve collapsed with relief. The castle has been flipped sideways during the fall, floor suddenly now 90 degrees, and standing at the side of the control board, now the very high top, was Lance. For whatever reason he had climbed it while they bickered, and now stood very still, gloved hand pressed to the glass of the windshield. Blood trickled from his temple, tracing a line down the side of his face, disappearing in the neckline of his armour. “We got company.”

Shifting gears – Keith was about to tear him a new one, when Shiro says sound off you sound off – but froze when he looked out the window, following Lance’s gaze.

Marching towards them, in numbers Keith couldn’t pretend to count, was an army.

— — —

part two

#i am in my percabeth era 🩷 thus the past tense writing LMFAO #vld #voltron #keith #snarky protag keith my beloved <3 #keith kogane #lance #lance mcclain #klance #pre klance #s1 klance #blue paladin lance #red paladin keith #for u moth #rivals to lovers #jealous keith #aegis au #longpost #team as family #leader pidge #just as a treat #my writing #wip wednesday #pining keith #oblivious keith #adhd keith #autistic lance

[runicmagitek]

My Sun, My Moon, and All My Stars

An Unofficial 13 Sentinels Fanbook

🍔 8 fanfics with illustrations (rated T) 🛸 128 color pages (including front/back covers) 🤖 A5, PDF

A year ago, @garmmy and I collaborated for @polyshipweek prompts in 2023 to spread the keinatsubj love. Today, we are celebrating the anniversary of Them with a compilation book! Everything is in one file, THERE ARE NEW ARTS, and it's 100% free! If you love these three and want a cozy read, please check it out!

🌠 garmmy.itch.io/my-sun-my-moon-and-all-my-stars

#13 sentinels: aegis rim #13 sentinels #keitaro miura #natsuno minami #bj 13 sentinels #keinatsubj #13 sentinels spoilers #zines #my writing #awesome art by awesome art friends 🥰 #we constantly joked that it was Keinatsubj Week 2023 jdkfjdklfjs IT WAS IT OUR HEARTS!!! #this fanbook is so freaking cute omg garmmy's new arts are so precious I'm gonna cry

[jewishdainix]

#sorry aegis i was too lazy to write it myself and thought thisd be funnier than copy pasting

[fellhellion]

i need to know the deep lore on why p3p allows you to have queer romance as femc when that one dev from the p2 duology was like yeah lol we included the jun romance to see if there was any money to court from fujo like fjkdhfjksjkd WHO WAS THIS FOR

#(it was for me) #but nonetheless genuinely who were they even writing that yuri for if that was their assumption re writing queer characters #like i do naurt think atlus devs are the kind of people to consider fujoshi as a group containing like. queer women as well. #tunes talks persona #like from memory. i dont remember stuff like aegis's romance being fetishised (i havent played portable in a LONG time tho) #like genuinely one of the most scenes of all time to have the robot gf imprint hamuko's fingerprints in her heart #so she'll never forget her and carry a piece of her always

[trashlie]

Sowing the Seeds, Reaping Stalkyoo

It’s no secret that everything about the state of ILY since the Christmas party has been my absolute catnip, everything I’ve waited for and wanted to see. We’ve had delicious flashbacks and peeks into the past, we’ve been indulged with Nol and Kousuke going head to head, the reveals of how Kousuke has been manipulated and drugged, and yes, Nol’s return into his friend’s lives. Quimchee has been delivering something that I didn’t anticipate we’d get for a long time yet - I thought so much of Nol and Shinae’s relationship was being set up for the future, that it wouldn’t take root until then, and yet. 

And yet. 

Ages ago I wrote about the foundations of Stalkyoo, how so much of the framework for their potential feelings and relationship had been carefully laid for feelings to begin to sprout and bloom, anticipating that it would not be until after Nol returns from prison, maybe even until after the timeskip, that those feelings would show themselves. What a fool I was! How could I anticipate that we’d be seeing them so soon, like this?! 

Someone on reddit asked at what point did Stalkyoo begin - the feelings, us shipping, when it began to feel real and possible, and finally I was able to put the words together, to really begin this post that I’ve been dying to make. (This post is an expansion of my response on reddit, hehe) 

I used to waffle a lot on this thought, because if you reread ILY without a romantic lens, there's a lot of things that CAN come across very platonically - but the key is that context always matters, right? To me, a lot of the build up for Stalkyoo has been simply building a foundation so that their own feelings can develop. There's a difference between having feelings and being drawn to each other, but Nol and Shinae HAVE been drawn to each other from the start. While Shinae initially pushes back on Nol's attempt at friendship, by the time they're at the arcade, I think we start seeing the basis of Shinae reciprocating Nol's friendship. Clearly she's only playing along because she wants to get a free meal out of it, but something about Nol and Shinae that I find really interesting is that it really WAS effortless from the beginning! It's just that Shinae has so much trauma about friendships - not only that Alyssa betrayed her and played hot and cold, but that she can't trust her friendship with Maya and Rika is real and she is LITERALLY only there because she knows Maya is scheming. Yet, at the masquerade and the morning after, we see how easy Shinae falls into a rhythm with Nol - but once she catches herself she back pedals.

Something I think we need to clear before we dig into this is the point in which Nol went from trying to play cupid for Dieter to pursuing Shinae's friendship for himself. I don't think even he was totally aware of it, but when they were at the mall, I think that was a slow changing point for Nol. He could tell that he wasn't going to really be able to play cupid for Dieter (but it didn't stop him from trying) but I think by this point he saw Shinae's facade fully, and how similar it was to his. (I mean, I think he'd already seen this, but this was when it really resonated with him.)

Stalkyoo is really well written in which you can't tell at what point the characters themselves start to have feelings, because that's just the nature of feelings. We can't always pinpoint when we go from feeling friend-ish about someone to when we develop feelings, especially in the case of Nol and Shinae who have SO MUCH ELSE going on that feelings are the furthest thing from their minds. Instead, we see those building blocks, the foundations, the things that LEAD those feelings to grow from platonic to feeling something besides just friendship. It's all the little things! For Shinae, it's that someone was so determinedly persistent, something she hadn't really gotten from her other friends. But more than that, it was the way that Nol saw through her. It was the way Yeonggi evoked the kind of friend she wanted to be but was too afraid to be. It was the safety and security he provided her. 

For Nol, it was the way she always saw him, always picked up on those little details, always took concern. That night she ran into him after work, when she got worried he'd sat outside all evening because she was too harsh, she told herself not to care and yet... she couldn't. She had just drawn these boundaries, but she still had concern for him. Nol isn't used to that. I'm not saying this to shame Soushi and Dieter in any way, but we don't really see them reach out to him, and I think Dieter acknowledged this after Yujing drove away with Rand and unconscious Nol. Nol had just seen the eviction notice in her room, and yet she still buys him ointment and medicine out of worry for him with what little money she has. She took notice of his scuffed knuckles, of his cat scratches healing, asks how he’s handling things after seeing what they’re saying on the media. At the hospital she calls him out on that façade, expressing how much awful it makes her feel so how can he not? 

We get to see these little details culminate, and how that fosters the development of feelings. How can Shinae not be so drawn to this person who has helped her no matter the inconvenience it is to him, who sees through her and calls her out on her bullshit, who took care of her when she was so very vulnerable at the Kim formal? How can Nol not be so drawn to this person who sees him when others make him feel invisible, who makes him feel worthy of her concern and thoughts when so many others have made him feel like he doesn't matter?

It's the way Shinae disarms him and he finds himself unable to lie, revealing a little bit of the real him, admitting a tiny hint of what's going on that he isn't revealing. It's the way he literally inspires her to be a better friend, and to return the favor.

As a reader, the Kim formal and the following hospital scene really sell the plausibility of them through the parallels. We are shown that this early in their friendship, Nol is able to not only comfort Shinae in ways that reach her, but to anticipate her needs (intercepting her coat after Kousuke sends it away). It's not done to say that Kousuke is not a match for her as much as to illuminate why Nol is, to build out that foundation. During a harrowing night when Shinae is completely out of her element and, frankly, terrified, Nol is able to reach her, able to comfort her, and he provides that sense of protection, and in kind, it softens Shinae even more towards him, because now she can see just what a solid friend Nol is, to really take stock of the things he does for her. It also shows us the ways Shinae meets HIS needs in contrast to Alyssa. This is especially important because part of what really fosters Nol's eventual feelings for Shinae is that she sees him, that she feels concern for him, when everyone around him, including the person he's supposed to call his girlfriend, take him for granted.

Nol struggles SO MUCH with self worth and feeling that he matters, that he is anything but a burden (much like Shinae) but also he struggles with feeling that he even deserves this. But then Shinae comes in and gives him a taste of that, and now he can't help it. He opens up, little by little. Not a lot, but he lets her in, tiny bit by bit. She starts to matter. And we can see in episodes like 73, when Nol calls Shinae and they share the parallel pillow hugging phone call, 93 when he admits he can't stop himself from caring and she replaces his earbuds in his ear, 117 and 118 with the chickie nuggie hand holding and the shared earbuds just how Shinae became this person who brings Nol comfort, who has a morphine-effect on him. She becomes a safe space for him. Her comfort towards him fosters that feeling of seeking comfort in her.

At the end of the day, it ultimately is, I think, that they see each other - that they really see each other. Can Shinae see through Nol's facade? Not really - he still has so much that he's yet hidden away. But in a world when he's treated like he's invisible, when others don't reach out, when everyone takes takes takes without giving (and again I'm not faulting people because that's how Nol built these friendships; they weren't supposed to be real, until they accidentally were) she sees him and makes him feel like he matters. And likewise, he inspires her to be a better friend, to take chances with her heart. Ultimately she wouldn't be where she is without him, because while Dieter has also had a substantial role in how Shinae has grown, if not for Nol, she never even could have built that friendship with Dieter.

But also, to bring up my earlier point about that effortlessness, that chemistry has always existed between Nol and Shinae, and once she stopped being so suspicious of him and wary, once he brought her that comfort and security at the formal, we were able to see it more, and how they act on it. I never shut up about how Nol is unable to resist Shinae and it's TRUE. All the times that he tries to avoid her often end with him giving in, turning towards her, revealing something. And likewise she is SO drawn to him that when he starts to pull away, she starts to subconsciously act on that and chase after him, pull him back in. I think there's also something to be said about all the very flirty comments Nol makes towards her that he probably isn't even aware are very flirty - but she is picking up on it. It's that, yes, that attraction is there. Not that I think finding someone is handsome = attraction, but the way she's so embarrassed to voice it feels weighted. Also happening at the formal was that moment where Nol makes Shinae laugh and his eye goes wide - even though I don't think he identified it then, it was a significant moment, probably one that really fostered that attraction, that feeling of how pretty her smile is, ESPECIALLY as someone who had her thick thick walls and he hadn't seen her like that.

Honestly, the entirety of the Kim formal arc really sells the concept of Stalkyoo, despite Nol attending “with” his girlfriend. The parallels in their individual relationships with other significant people show just how compatible they are - Nol banking on a fan taking notice of famous girlfriend Alyssa to give Shinae an escape, that moment when Nol is sent away and Shinae calls out to him and he reaches out before the door closes and he loses the opportunity. It’s that tender moment of Nol doing her make up for her, helping her don her armor in order to blend in. It’s the way she goes straight to Nol after her uncomfortable dance with Kousuke, checking on him because she can tell something is off. They just NOTICE! They GET each other! 

It’s that moment at the bottom of the pool when Nol feels the opportunity to escape, to give in, to stay at the bottom of the pool because there is nothing up there for him - and then there is Shinae, unconscious. It’s Nol donning that uncomfortable mask to bring her to the surface, it’s him denying his ideation because maybe there is, in fact, something for him up there. It’s that Nol is still here because of Shinae. 

How can she not be so significant to him? How could he fight the development of those feelings when she literally is the reason he is still alive? 

IT'S JUST. IT'S ALL OF THAT AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH there's not really one point so much as all along the bricks in the foundation are being laid, the seeds are sown. The structure is going up, the seeds are sprouting. We see the results of that foundation as it fosters these feelings, as it takes these small but significant things and turns them into something grander, until one day Nol is taking comfort on her shoulder, feeling the most at peace he has in a long time, until one day Shinae is crying in the rain chasing after him in absolute desperate fear to not lose him to not lose this. There isn't one moment but, instead, a series of so many moments that build and grow and layer upon each other until one day they are dancing around feelings they weren't aware of until now.

And it's beautiful sobs.

And now that those seeds have sprouted, those feelings have been fostered, they make themselves known. It’s not only Yeonggi that Shinae is drawn to. Yes, that was initially the version of him she knew, who fostered those feelings, but even when he returns to her as Nol - so intense, so unlike Yeonggi - we see the attraction come forth. Rather than Yeonggi, it’s Nol who embodies those aspects of Rand that Shinae finds so attractive - the assertiveness, the intensity - and when Nol stands before her this way, she doesn’t balk. She doesn’t back away. In fact, it’s only when he makes this version of himself known that we start to see her getting flustered, that her heart starts pounding. It’s that intense gaze that she can’t hold, that causes her cheeks to actually flush. 

He tells her that his relationship with Alyssa is a shame, that she doesn’t mean anything to him, and it’s like all the boundaries have fallen away. The things she used to call him out on have fallen wayside - she offers him a dance. Though she’s always known that Nol and Kousuke don’t get along, she finally gets a glimpse at how bad it is, how much bad blood is between them. 

It’s the way she becomes a grounding rod who interrupts his panic, his anger, who brings him a moment of calm. 

In nearly losing him that night, Shinae’s feelings wake up even stronger than ever. She’s already nearly lost him, to nearly lose him this way, in a way that can never be undone... It’s understandable, why she’s keeping vigil. 

It’s both Nol and Shinae hating hospitals, finding them to be so uncomfortable, places they don’t want to stay in, but still standing by - Nol outside her door at Hirahara Memorial of all places, Shinae at his bedside waiting waiting waiting. It’s being in a place full of such horrible memories but finding refuge and comfort in each other. As precious at 219 is for Nol’s birthday party, for the flirtations, for the exchanged gazes - the moment Nol wakes up and his panic is quelled when he finds her dozing on the side of his bed is SO important to me. Those moments they share together before anyone else finds out he’s awake feels like the most real they’ve been with each other - no fronts, no masks. It’s them sitting in the place they’d rather never be again, comfortable because of each others’ presence, because of all those experiences before that have cultivated the ability to find comfort in each other. 

Security with each other. 

The foundation was laid out so beautifully. The seeds were sown and now we watch them sprout, hoping we’ll get a chance to see what comes of them, what grows in this space fostered by them. 

God I love them so much sobs 

#I Love Yoo #ILY Brainrot #Stalkyoo #Aegi #Shinae Yoo #Nolan Oliver T. Lochlainn #i will never be able to top this post lmao this is it #this is my magnum opus or whatever #this is the best i'll ever be able to write about them to yell about them to verbalize about them #i just LOVE to look at the foundation and see how they've bloomed how they're blossoming #I LOVE looking back and realizing all these little building blocks that got us here #there's no one moment because it was so organic something that just grows and grows until one day you realize it's there #there was never one moment because it's a series of moments a culmination of experiences #it was the environment fostering them #THEY ARE SO IMPORTANT TO ME AND TO EACH OTHER #will Shinae ever get to know? what brought Nol back to the surface at the Kim formal? #will she ever know just how important she is to him? #she thinks she's so easy to throw away but in reality it's that it's so hard to be her friend without wanting more #BECAUSE of how important she is #because as much as he's helped shape her #helped her grow and become an even better version of herself #she has affected him too #she has changed him too #SOBS I LOVE THEM SO MUUUUUUUUUUUUUCH

[anyoldfandom]

Hey Dragonfablr we all know Tomix would qualify as a tumblr sexyman (canonically attractive, but mostly loved bc of his charisma and deep connection with the OC protagonist, tragic story and depression), but I think we have to accept who would be would be a classical sexyman. A Onceler/Superwholock era sexyman. The one with the shitty personality that would get overlooked, the antagonistic relationship he has with the protag, the bags under his eyes his swagless entitled whiteboy energies.

We have to accept that if Dragonfable was mainstream in that era Drakath would have been a tumblr sexyman.

#I know that there are people who ship him with hero but there's a difference between being shipped and being a sexyman #There would be edits there would be unhinged ship shit people would write him as a secret uwu soft boy #Idk where I was going with this I also want to also remind people of the fact that a lot of df characters would be modern tumblr sexymen #And want to see what they do with that #Remthalas Tomix Aegis Seppy Vaal etc. #But Drakath would have ALL the shitty Y/N fics with the blue orbs and brunette hair #With very clear fucked up power dynamics romanticized #dragonfable

[wingsyouburn]

Fic: Past Is History, Future's A Mystery (13 Sentinels: Aegis Rim)

Title:Past Is History, Future's A Mystery Fandoms: 13 Sentinels: Aegis Rim Characters: Juro Kurabe, Shu Amiguchi Pairing: Shu Amiguchi/Juro Kurabe Rating: Gen AO3 Tags: Nightmares, Comfort, Pre-Canon, Pre-Relationship Summary: Late at night, when the VHS tape runs out, Juro's dreams catch up to him. Notes: Title and inspiration from "VHS" by Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness, a song I've always associated with Juro. ♥

School can be stressful, but he doesn’t know anything that can trigger this. The only thing that helps are the nights when he can watch VHS tapes at Shu’s, a distraction Juro never takes for granted. It’s Shu’s hand on him now, Shu staring down at him with worried eyes, Shu’s hair lit up by the ambient light of the TV behind him like a halo. Juro blinks, and the vision remains, like Shu’s some sort of angel sent to rescue him from himself.

Read more at AO3!

#13 sentinels: aegis rim #13 sentinels: aegis rim fanfiction #fanfiction #juro kurabe #shu amiguchi #amie writes

[seagullcharmer]

dyeing their hair when addam wasn't looking

#my art #aegis siblings #malos with a dyed undercut is everything to me rn #and i've loved pyra with the underdye for ages and ages now. i can't draw her without it #anyway this is part of a high school au that got stuck in my brain but i will never write #all you need to know is they're siblings your honour #if people are actually interested maybe i'll post some more. lol #aughhh < remembered the malos&nia friendship..... waah

[charlataninred]

So apparently getting multiple headaches a week is not “normal” or “healthy”

#my mother asked me to write down when/how long they start/go for #since starting taking note of it a week ago I’ve had 5 #two of which were essentially all day and the other 3 lasted a few hours #aegis talks to the void

[honekujiras]

Summary:

This is not their first meeting. It probably isn't their second, or their fifth, or even their thirtieth. By the way that Takatoshi beams at him with such familiarity, by the way that Keitaro already knows how tall he is relative to the fence around his childhood home, there must have been an unquantifiable amount of time that they had spent together before that moment. Yet for Keitaro, there was never a world without Takatoshi. One day, he simply found himself staring up at this seven-year-old boy with dirt smudged on his rounded cheeks and knew, with a knowing beyond knowing, that he was his best friend in the whole wide world. Keitaro, Takatoshi, and the way home.

dragging myself out of hell (again) to post something. hey 13 sentinellers what's up

read the excerpt below (or check it out on AO3 above!)

The first memory that Keitaro has is of Takatoshi peering over the fence, all thick brows over sharp eyes.

"Keitaro!" he cries, straining on what must be the tips of his toes to bring his chin above the edge, and this one action has always confirmed something for Keitaro—namely, that this is not their first meeting. It probably isn't their second, or their fifth, or even their thirtieth. By the way that Takatoshi beams at him with such familiarity, by the way that Keitaro already knows how tall he is relative to the fence around his childhood home, there must have been an unquantifiable amount of time that they had spent together before that moment. Yet for Keitaro, there was never a world without Takatoshi. One day, he simply found himself staring up at this seven-year-old boy with dirt smudged on his rounded cheeks and knew, with a knowing beyond knowing, that he was his best friend in the whole wide world.

"Hi, Takkun!" Keitaro grins back at him. "What are you doin' here?"

"Ain't it obvious? I wanted—" Takatoshi manages to hoist himself over the fence, and Keitaro chuckles as his friend tumbles roughly onto the barren dirt. He bounces back onto his feet, unbothered by the stains on his clothes, and continues— "to ask if you're comin' to the ball game! The Ashitaba Titans are goin' up against the Shibugaki Cranes today, y'know."

"That's today?" Keitaro squawks. Ashitaba has been buzzing with excitement over the upcoming showdown, their hometown heroes against the veritable terrors of the recently formed Japanese Baseball League, and Keitaro is no exception. He loves spectating the matches in the nearby field, loves listening to the play-by-plays of away games over the radio. "Well, what're we standin' around for? Let's go!"

"That's what I was waitin' to hear," Takatoshi declares, grinning, and he takes Keitaro by the hand.

This street is a labyrinth of houses inhabited by a mixture of classmates and grandmothers who will pinch their cheeks and offer them freshly made onigiri when they pass by, but Keitaro knows it like the back of his hand. He lets Takatoshi lead the way anyway, their hands tangled together. Familiar, too: the paradoxically calloused softness of the palms of a boy who sharpens fallen sticks and plays make-believe war.

"How's your grandpa been?" Keitaro asks. Shrii-shrii-shrii, chirp the crickets.

"Oh," Takatoshi says, and if he hesitates for a beat Keitaro pretends not to notice. "Gramps has gotten way better, actually! Turns out a few days of rest is a real help, not that my old man'd ever admit it. He started workin' on a new piece of furniture, soon as he got outta bed. Hang on, did I tell you about the argument he got into with Fuyutsuki-sensei?"

Keitaro hums a no, and Takatoshi delves into an entire spiel about how his grandfather nearly fought their elementary school teacher over a single piece of fruit. There's something about the way that Takatoshi tells stories, the excited motions of his hands and the thousand expressions dancing across his face, that has always been so engaging to Keitaro. if Takatoshi ever became an author—that is, if he ever acquired the patience to sit down for more than five minutes at a time and write—Keitaro would read every one of his novels.

"Oh, and worst part is?" Takatoshi is saying. "Gramps didn't even buy the fruit in the end! He told me it was all about 'a man's pride,' or somethin'."

"Sounds about right," Keitaro says. Takatoshi's grandfather is the type of man to never back down from something once he's put his mind to it. In fact: "You're a lot like him, Takkun."

"Hey!" Takatoshi whirls around, bringing the two of them to a stop. "C'mon, I'm not half as stubborn as he is."

"You're provin' my point!" Keitaro says, doubling over with laughter at the scowl on his friend's face.

"Gramps would sleep outside in the pouring rain to win an argument!"

"So would you!" Keitaro points out. He wouldn't be surprised if he already has.

"Geez," Takatoshi mutters, sighing to veil the silly grin tugging at his mouth. He marches onward, Keitaro trailing behind him. "How 'bout you, Keitaro? Any new stories 'bout your family, or anythin' else?"

"Hmm." Keitaro thinks for a moment. "I don't think so. Not anything half as interesting as your stories, anyway."

"C'mon, don't say that." Takatoshi, though focused on navigating the street before them, tugs on his hand. "You got plenty o' stuff rollin' around in that head o' yours. You just need to man up and say 'em aloud."

"If you say so," Keitaro says, skeptical.

"I know so," Takatoshi insists, as always. "I—Hey, look!"

As they round the corner, Ashitaba's baseball field comes into view. It's nothing nearly as grand as what Keitaro hears the Americans have in their home country, but the sight is always breathtaking regardless: players warming up on the wide-open field, the stands packed and spectators spilling onto the grass around them. Takatoshi pulls him out of his slack-jawed staring and drags him toward the shade of a nearby tree, the boughs decorated with leaves that sway in the cool breeze.

Nearly a decade and a half later, Keitaro won't remember the result of that match. Hell, he'll hardly remember the dreams he had before the war, or the back alleys of his hometown, or the warmth of his best friend's small hand in his. But there are hundreds more of days like these to come, and for the wide-eyed kid he was back then, they'll feel like infinity. How could he ever imagine a world without Takatoshi?

#13 sentinels: aegis rim #13sar #keitaro miura #takatoshi hijiyama #hijimiura #im guessing thats their ship name??? idk #my writing #its been several months since ive consumed 13s content so sorry for canon inaccuracies #actually im not sorry this is my brainchild now baby

[autisticlancemcclain]

wip wednesday 23

my loves it has been nearly three months. almost twelve wip wednesdays i have neglected. and i have no excuse except it's winter, man. and winter Gets My Ass.

anyways.

links for your convenience <333:

aegis au: 1 2

batb au: 1 2 3 4 5

flower crown au: 1 2

established klance au: 1 2

the neighbour au: 1 2

#vote and i will write!! i am voting aegis au bc i am annoying!! #wip wedesday #wip wednesday poll #poll

[runicmagitek]

Dreams of Another Life

An Unofficial 13 Sentinels Fanzine

✨ 22 ficlets & illustrations (rated T) ✨ 52 color pages (including front/back covers) ✨ A5 PDF (digital & print file)

As of right now, it's 11/17 in Japan, so Happy Sekimiura/関ミウ Day! 🎉 @garmmy and I collab'd on this lovely 13 Sentinels: Aegis Rim zine featuring 1la Them - and it's free!! If you love Them too or just like fluffy stories/illustrations of dumb boys snuggling in bed, please check it out!

🌃 garmmy.itch.io/dreams-of-another-life

#ei sekigahara #keitaro miura #13 sentinels: aegis rim #13 sentinels #13sar #sekimiura #13 sentinels spoilers #zines #my writing #awesome art by awesome art friends 🥰 #lotsa love crammed into this fun lil zine T^T please check it out and spread the love!

[zabiume]

Hey :) question about Kuroko No Basket

I’ve heard that it’s basically a sports anime with powers in it and from the clips I’ve seen on TikTok i guess it’s true. I don’t think I can say I HATE sport anime/mangas with powers in it since I’ve never given them a proper chance. I tend to just read/watch ones that are realistic I guess? It’s more about the character & their love for the sport I don’t even need to know much about the sport the anime is about. I’m not much of a sports fan like I’m not too crazy about a particular sport but if there was one it’d probably be football ⚽️ !? With KNB I see that you write for the fandom and I enjoy your Bleach fics (your writing is amazing btw) whenever I like an authors fics I tend to check out their other works. I have enjoyed Slam Dunk idk if you’ve read/watched it but it was a fun read and amazing art !! I’m not a huge basketball fan but I did enjoy the matches I felt very hyped reading them.

What I’m trying to ask is how would you try to get someone to watch KNB that has taken an interest in it but isn’t sure if they’d like it or not ? The thing that’s just putting me off is the power thing but I also feel like I could be missing out on something great 🤔

Thank you for answering my question in advance :) keep up the amazing writing ❤️

okay, so obviously i don't know your personal tastes and interests, so there's a good chance you could end up hating it even if i sold it to you really well, BUT. i looooove knb, and i guess i can tell you what i like about it and maybe you can decide whether or not to watch it based on that! spoiler-free discussion about the series under the cut (or, at least, as much spoiler-free as i could make it!)

firstly, the powers thing is not as bad as people make it out to be, and even though we joke about it in the fandom, 99.9% of the characters don't actually have like. magical powers. it's just that they each have their own special, extremely specific set of skills and abilities, and since it's a shonen and they're dumb teenage boys, they give those abilities ridiculous names. but really they're just playing basketball and the rules of the sport are the same in the knb universe as they are in OUR universe. yes, some of the special effects might be exaggerated, like sparks coming out of a character's eyes, or characters lingering mid-air for more than a few seconds, but i've always taken that to mean that's how the characters feel, and not what's actually happening. it's an animation technique and not an actual reflection of real events, and for the most part they work really well. the games feel exciting, elevated, larger-than life and almost battle-esque because of these effects and i personally feel like they don't overdo it in the first two seasons. they have "powers," but the powers are just that a lot of them are really good at one specific thing.

SECONDLY. kurobas as a story feels unique to me because it represents two journeys within the same storyline: a) the classic sports shonen underdogs wanting to make it to the top and b) gifted kids who have already been to the top and are dealing with the burnout that comes from having such immense talent at an early age. it's a story of the underdog AND the overpowered, and it somehow manages to get you to sympathize with both!

since you mentioned characters & their love for the sport, i'd also like to mention that this series explores that really well and with a surprising amount of nuance. it's got a lot of introspection about natural talent vs hardwork, teamwork vs emphasizing individual talent, growing apart in relationships, victory vs loss etc etc. it's got similar bait-and-switch tactics that bleach does, where characters that initially read as cocky or unlikable grow on you heavily, but it's also got characters who are assholes and stay assholes throughout the series, no redemption whatsoever :D

the main ensemble is soooo well-characterized, they are all really fun, and we do get to spend a lot of time with some of the important side characters as well. it's hard to explain, but the characters are very memorable and the artwork contributes to that, even though nobody in real life has natural green hair or whatever. it's a visual technique that adds flavour to some of the main story beats, and come on. nobody in the history of anime has ever had normal hair. they're cartoons!

kuroko is literally the best protagonist ever. despite not having conventional strengths, all plot points revert back to him, and his influence has a ripple effect on all the characters in the series. we love a shonen hero with IMPACT, but also: he is funny as fuck

kind of an addition to the previous point, but the protagonist and deuteragonist combo of knb is soooooo good, kuroko and kagami's relationship is central to the storyline and their growth + development over the course of the series is SO good. i know people have their issues with the movie (and for good reason!), but one thing almost all fans can agree on is that the last scene with kuroko and kagami was one of the best scenes in kurobas history. they're good boys and they really do love each other a lot (whether you want to see that as platonic or romantic) :')

the anime (which is how i interact with knb) has amazing OSTs, and the VAs do a fantastic job for the most part (even though there are a few scenes in season 2 that get clowned to death for Reasons). it's still a pretty great adaptation overall!

this is not directly related to the series itself but the fandom has some of the BEST fanfic and fan art i've ever seen, truly God Tier stuff and lots of fun ships to choose from, if that's your thing

at the end of the day, knb is best approached with a heavy suspension of disbelief. if you're expecting hard-core realism, maybe knb is not the best example of that, but we already had that with slam dunk and knb doesn't try to bastardize that by trying to recreate it. it's an independent story in its own right, with its own thematic concerns and quirks. if you're in the mood for some whimsy, some DRAMA, some great character arcs, some solid, fast-paced story-telling with suspense, knb is a great watch. season 3 is probably the weakest, but that's not to say i hated it! i still ate it up and enjoyed every single second of it, so yes, i'd vouch for all three seasons + 1 ova + the movie!

#the low tiger growls in the shield of aegis OST alone made me give this series like. an 8/10 #it's ridiculous and fun and emotional in all the best ways possible but standard warnings for shonen-typical humor i guess :/ #aside from that i really enjoyed it and i hope you do too! if you ever give it a chance and end up loving it please come back here #and tell me who your new faves are😅 #asks #kurobas tag #OH. and thank you for saying nice things about my writing. that's so nice💖

[crouton-knight]

I find it funny that Aegis, presumably from somewhere in Azaveyr (since he was some kind of weaver before his death) says during his deathday quest (Just Chillin') that all the mushrooms back home are inedible.

Like, just the possibilities here:

1) It's been such a long time since Aegis died that the mushrooms are edible now

2) They're still poisonous and the hero is just Like That

3) Aegis was allergic to mushrooms

4) Aegis ate the fuckin' skull-faced mushroom one time and never chanced it again

5) Mushrooms =/= murshroms in Azaveyran languages

It's such a small thing but it makes me laugh just thinking about it. Poor Aegis.

#dragonfable #df aegis #headcanons #my writing

[trashlie]

[‼️fp 237 spoilers] ahhh ashlie we're always on the same wavelength <3 sorry for going off a bit in the last asks, i can get a little fiery ehe 😅 and right it's absolutely understandable why nol is the way he is, why he acts the way he does why he's walking in circles and if anything i'm frustrated FOR him because he is in such an unfortunate situation and you can tell he's absolutely terrified ;; the stronger his feelings are, the bigger the fear that something terrible is gonna happen to her, the stronger the urge to keep his distance to avoid that. because how could he live with himself if/when that happens? especially after what happened at the formal? like... i get it, i really do ;A; but you are also correct, nothing can be done about yui for now, but he at least can change the way he treats her! and, if shinae is willing to deal with the risks and danger that he brings, then it's her choice! and she is responsible for her own actions and choices!!

and i've been thinking the same thing! if they were supposed to part on bad terms, it could've happened after the dance. but instead we have the 3 day extension leading up to christmas (there *are* medical facilities in prisons so they could've taken him in but no), the "convince me", shin's bandana that she *still* has to get back, and also why are we moving so fast with nol barely able to hold back and the focus on her lips and shin being so feral? why these realizations and desires *now*, when they could've begun after jailtime?? it's obviously leading to *something*. otherwise it would be too anticlimactic. ILY has never been about quick reward so i'm not mad the buildup is taking its time. nol had the talk with dieter next is kousuke and then mayyyybe (big maybe) alyssa? since he's gonna get his phone back? and we might also have the shinae-dieter talk and then shinae-nol will probably be last. i would not be surprised if she shows up on the last day and that will be the climax. and quim is dangling it right in front of us so let's just hope she eventually gives us what we want, what the story needs, instead of yanking it away because then what were all these episodes even for? we'd be taking 10 steps back and for what? a gotcha moment?? sdghdgh GRHHH YELLS. 💥

and 1000% agreed shin is gonna have to do the heavy lifting and if she convinces him with a kiss then so be it. if she has to be a lil morally gray and break her own rules and kiss a taken man (no matter the nature of his relationship with alyssa, it's still a relationship), so that *he* can break his own rules, then fine. and look we know the effect of resting on her shoulder had on him, a kiss would completely undo him. convince me this is not what you want convince me you can throw me away now. HE CAN'T. GAME OVER. there is no way he'd be able to argue. seriously if the "convince me" comes back this time from shin i'll explode. 🤸🏾 and i KNOW she has it in her girl you can't keep letting him push you around you can't keep getting flustered under his gaze forever stand up and give back the energy go get what you want!! and ALSO "i don't have time for this" "it's not going to happen" yadda yadda that's FINE nothing has to happen mutual feelings and even a kiss don't mean you gotta start a relationship just talk and come to an agreement. be on the same page. GOD.

-slightly more optimistic lil anon 😼

ah sorry to add on to my prev ask: to clarify, IF we're heading into a kiss as a means to convince nol, to change his mind, then it will really depend on how quim executes it, how the conversation goes what the circumstances are... and i want shinae to give her best effort and not back down but i really wouldn't want her to force anything physical on him. consent is important! again, just to clarify, because i realized what i said could be potentially controversial. no forced kisses, that's not how i meant it! my apologies! -lil anon 😼

PLSSSS you are right we ARE always on the wavelength so no need to apologize for getting fiery because SAME! You should have seen me going through the stages of grief and denial after that episode lmao It was.... intense I have so many feelings alkfjakfjkafkajfjafj

also don't worry I know what you mean, huhuhu! Maybe someone out there might have misunderstood but I think we're both on the same page when we talk about that and, frankly, given that this is fiction and it's a controlled environment.... a kiss in this scenario would yeah be something that is welcome! I'm trying to think of how to explain this lmao but I'm sure you understand what I mean! Because it's like.... it IS something he wants, but he's trying so hard to deny himself that.

Like yes this is basically where my shred of hope remains: there HAS been too much build up, our guy keeps focusing on her mouth, he received that 3-day extension and that ABSOLUTELY provides narrative purpose, he still has her bandana, "convince me", etc. etc. It absolutely would be incredibly anti-climatic to send him away without them talking. Like you said, I'm not even here urging them to get into a relationship! That's fine, the circumstances are *not great* and if he's that afraid maybe that could be a compromise. That "This isn't going to happen" at this time because he's so afraid of the consequences, but that it CAN eventually happen. To me, the important thing is that they TALK about it. Acknowledge their mutual feelings, don't deny them. Acknowledge that they want each other!!!!! Okay!!!!!

Like, I guess at this point the conflict is this: Nol and Shinae have incredibly strong feelings for each other, but Nol feels both like an asshole because Dieter likes her too, but also afraid because he is very convinced that terrible things will come to those he cares about. He can't turn off those feelings, though, so he can only feign apathy, but at this point, it doesn't matter. Shinae is in Yui's clutches. He doesn't know this though - yet. But this is our conflict. Shinae is afraid that Nol is throwing her away and she absolutely refuses to let him do this. This has happened before and this time she will not stand for it! This time she will prevent it.

Now she knows that she has feelings for him. Maybe when she wakes up, we'll get to see her dwelling more, because Maya already told her "maybe he likes you and he's being mean so you don't find out". Shinae, bless her little heart, thinks that Nol can't possibly like her because he has a girlfriend - a hot, gorgeous, famous, talented girlfriend - but she NEEDS to sit down and think about everything that lead up to that argument. His insistence that he cannot be alone with her. The intense way he asked her to dance. His fingers in her hair leaning so close to listen to her music, the finger dancing, his finger hooking around hers, the way he looked at her, his head on her shoulder so calm he could sleep! She doesn't even know he wasn't on the morphine drip!

Shinae's whole goal is that she doesn't want to lose him, and now that she knows what she feels about him, why she can't lose him, that perhaps Maya is right, I think she'll be very determined to talk to him, to fight back. Something we've seen so far is that Nol tends to have the advantage. He was the one who figured out his feelings and began to suspect hers first. There's so many things he's never let her in on, leaving her in the dark. But likewise, there are things he doesn't know about her, too. I feel like her pure determination and fear of losing him will be a worthy adversary of his own fear, that even as he tries to put those walls up and push her away she isn't backing down. We saw her try to break down his door!!!!!!!!!!

So yeah, I feel like a convince me kiss is a really good option, because much like when Nol held Shinae in place at the Parks' place when she tried to run away and avoid her feelings of vulnerability, I think she needs to hold him in place, too. Stop running away, stop lying, stop trying to deny what he can't. Does all of this really mean nothing? Can you really throw all of this away? It feels like that would come before actually talking, because yes they kind of need to get those walls down, she has to make him contend with what he's pushing away. I love the idea of the turn tables, where he was the one trying to make her realize, now it's her turn to do the same, especially because he was trying to make her realize. Like.... "Why didn't you deny it then?! Why are you still trying to push me away when you know how much that hurts?! Why won't you let me have a choice?!"

JUST YELLS

I just... yeah I feel like they gotta argue a little, she's got to plant a kiss - that I absolutely imagine him reciprocating because like you said, even the head on her shoulder thing was making him crumble. In my head I see it like her asking if he can really ignore this and kissing him, and as she starts to pull away he leans in, following her, pulling her back in and just.... mauling her. lakjfkafjkafjkafjk I feel like the moment she makes contact it's game over his brain is switching off and it's pure want and instinct and a touch-starved man falling apart at the seams, hands on face in hair pulling her impossibly closer, so hungry, so needy for something he's denied himself at every opportunity. Every time he thinks about her he keeps focusing on her mouth LMAO he wants SO BADLY and I need her to use that against him and force him to contend with what he's trying to deny. He insists that maybe this can pass but CAN IT? DO YOU REALLY BELIEVE THAT?!

And THEN they can talk, THEN she can reiterate what she's been telling him, what Rand has told her, what Yui has done what Yui has said. I WANT HIM TO UNDERSTAND THAT THIS TRANSCENDS HIM. I WANT HIM TO UNDERSTAND THAT HE IS NOT PROTECTING HER BY LEAVING HER BE, THAT HE IS, IN FACT, LEAVING HER MORE VULNERABLE. I WANT HIM TO UNDERSTAND THAT HE IS THE ONLY ONE WHO IS HURTING HER ;A;

There's something about the way that like.... he wants her so much and he's so scared of losing her that he can't have her, because of how much he cannot lose her. Like, no matter what HE LOSES HER ;A; And no matter what SHE IS GETTING HURT. SCREAMS

I'm just talking in circles because yeah we all know this we all know what we need LMAO we all know what it happening but AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH JUST FEELINGS FEELINGS FEELINGS ;_____________;

and quim is dangling it right in front of us so let's just hope she eventually gives us what we want, what the story needs, instead of yanking it away because then what were all these episodes even for? we'd be taking 10 steps back and for what? a gotcha moment?? sdghdgh GRHHH YELLS. 💥

This is really what it comes down to, though, yes, and I keep repeating this, too. From a narrative writing standpoint, doesn't it feel like we'd just be taking 10 steps back? If he was going to leave and all of this would be unresolved, we wouldn't be hashing into it now, he wouldn't have an extra 3 days, he wouldn't be stuck at the hospital, Shinae and Nana wouldn't be interacting like this, the talk with Dieter wouldn't be happening, he wouldn't have "convince me"'d her. If they weren't going to approach this, to talk about this, to hash out their feelings without some kind of resolution, he WOULD have left. He wouldn't have gotten injured, he never would have been there. We just... gotta go down a bumpy road to get there. Like you, I think it could be that she doesn't go til the last day, too. Or.... idk. I have played with the idea that maybe she'd wake up and go immediately to the hospital having to sneak in, but again, narratively, it feels like we have a LOT happening with Kousuke there right now.

Also I just can't shake the fact that 3 days brings us SO CLOSE to Christmas and it feels SO VERY POINTED, right?

We absolutely could have had Shinae realizing her feelings while Nol is gone, after "losing him" but.

I'M CAUTIOUSLY OPTIMISTIC. SHINAE IS SO DETERMINED and she's so FERAL about her feelings and she's SO INTENSE!!!!!!!! She WANTS HIM SO BAD and she is SO SCARED OF LOSING HIM I JUST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CONVINCE HIM. SHOW HIM WHAT A FOOL HE IS. REMIND HIM THAT TWO CAN PLAY THIS GAME, THAT HE DOESN'T GET TO MAKE ALL THE CHOICES THAT SHE, TOO, HAS FEELINGS INVESTED

RAKAFLJKAFKJAFKJAFKAJF GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRR RJRRGJ GRRRRR GGR FKAFJJF GRERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR ;A;

#I Love Yoo #ILY Brainrot #ILY FP #ILY Spoilers #ILY Anon #Lil Anon #Shinae Yoo #Nolan Oliver T. Lochlainn #i've been writing Lochlainn wrong this whole time #and i'm now stressed #i gotta.... fix that later #heck #Stalkyoo #Aegi

[negative-ease]

stuck in an extremely specific hell loop of my own creation... driving in the rain thinking about gouto renya & shinonome ryoko AS ONE DOES RIGHT AFTER FINISHING 13 SENTINELS and the marías "i don't know you" starts playing like ok a little on the nose but also... (typing while upside down in a ditch)

#the “one” is literal i'm certainly in the minority of jumping to romantic gouto/shinonome but hear me out (...eventually... maybe...) #secondly or perhaps firstly ogata/kisaragi omfg #this game is more in the realm of Transistor for me where i love it to death and it will haunt me #but the story is so complete and satisfying that it doesn't translate into me needing to write about it #especially bc i am primarily a plot-focused writer so as much as i'll marinate in pure vibes in my head #that stuff never really makes it to the fic stage #having said that... #... #.... #......... #imagine -- #also this song i looped for 3 days straight and lost my mind writing my first edcl fic which in itself was a timeloop fic (sorta) #now i'm the xtina-bejeweled-mouse-click-dot-gif hitting the loop button again like... well #13sar #13 sentinels: aegis rim