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twistedsinews · 3 years

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OC Profile

Tagged by @chyrstis

Tagging: @rosewaterhag, @hunnybadgerv, @gatticus, @heywoodvirgin (for when you come back), @chyrstis, @ ... whoever wants to do it and hasn't yet!

General

Name: V. Literally. It's always been just V.

Alias(ses): Enough people assume that V is an alias, and it's difficult enough to track down in a database. However. She will use other aliases for one-off jobs when she needs the extra layer of security of not having someone track her down through street work, but none of them really get recycled.

Gender: Nomad. I jest, but I'm pretty sure she's somewhat off the binary even if she straddles the line.

Age: As of the events of C77, she'd just turned 29.

Birthdate: I don't actually have one for her. Possibly in January... I'm only saying that because I started playing Cyberpunk on my birthday but that's when she came into creation so why not.

Place of birth: The Badlands. I'm not sure where in the Badlands, but probably quite the distance from Night City.

Hometown: She grew up in a roving band of self-sufficient scavengers, so... everywhere. And nowhere.

Spoken languages: English. Bad English. She might've picked up a few scattered words of other languages, but she relies heavily on her translation software and that reliance has stunted her learning.

Sexual preference: Ladies and gentlemen, and Jackie Welles. She's not picky on the sex or gender front, but someone who can keep up with her, ideally.

Occupation: Street Ronin. Mercenary for hire.

Appearance

Eye color: Mid-light purple. Dark brown, prior to getting modded.

Hair color: Blue and red, although she'll change it from time to time. Black, prior to getting modded.

Height: 5'8"

Scars: She has a few. The healed slash on her face comes from her first real knife fight, and she keeps it as something of a memento. There are some newer scars on her hands. And let's not talk about that mess of scar tissue that is her heart, because ow.

Favorite

Color: I think she probably likes pink, red, blue, and teal about equally.

Hair color: Barring mods, probably dark.

Eye color: Sky blue.

Song: Favorite in the same way that pain makes you feel alive, I think, but post-Heist, she found a new appreciation for Never Fade Away.

Food: Marshmallows. City takeout, especially pizza.

Non-alcoholic drink: Soda, the sweeter the better.

Alcoholic drink: Nomad moonshine, but tequila can be fun. And then there's vodka.

Have they...

Passed university: Fuck, no.

Had sex: Fuck, yes.

Had sex in public: ...I mean. Not on the Main St. Sidewalk, but I'm... pretty sure there wasn't as much privacy in all those back alley trysts as you might want to believe. Also, do orgies and sex clubs count as public? ‘cause, uh...

Gotten pregnant: Nope. Cyborg birth control ftw!

Kissed a boy: Yes.

Kissed a girl: Yes.

Gotten tattoos: Several. All traditional, none of them are Light tattoos.

Gotten piercings: A few in her ears, the nosering, and the eyebrow thing.

Been in love: Yes. Not until she reached Night City, but then she kinda made up for it by falling in love a few times over the course of the game.

Stayed up for more than 24 hours: Pretty regularly, for business and for pleasure.

Are they...

A virgin: Ha. No.

A cuddler: Very much so. Even before the love part, she was always very tactile. (It confused the hell out of Jackie until he just accepted that being her best friend and go-to fling was about as intimate as some relationships he'd been in... prior to feelings coming to light, anyway.)

A kisser: Indeed.

Scared easily: In some ways, not so much others. On her own, she's pretty reckless and fearless. When she has people she cares about, she can fairly easily get scared of fucking up the relationship and also of outside harm coming to them if and when these things crop up on the horizon. However, it pretty much took coming face to face with death in a way she couldn't shrug off before she actually got traumatized to the point of being terrified.

Jealous easily: Under the right circumstances. She's less jealous of physical activity and closeness and more when it comes to feelings.

Trustworthy: She can lie and she can twist the truth, and she has no scruples against doing either. But when it boils down to it, if she's on your side she will have your back to the last cliff at the end of the world.

Dominant: She certainly can be. She can be hard-headed and stubborn, to add to it, and she has no second thoughts about stepping up and taking charge. Though if we're talking about in bed, she's drastically less so.

Submissive: To whom is the bigger question. If she likes someone, she tends to be a lot gentler and tries to be considerate. And again, if we're talking about in bed, well... yes. Pushy about it sometimes, maybe, but yes.

In love: Ha. Hahaha. Yes. With quite a few people.

Single: It's complicated (TM).

Random questions (tw for self harm/suicide mention)

Have they harmed themselves: In a manner of speaking. It's not a conscious/deliberate thing, the way most people think of self-harm, but she falls into plenty of behaviors that would qualify and definitely puts herself out there in harms way or restricts herself as a means of self-punishment.

Thought of suicide: Yes. Quite a bit, after the Heist.

Attempted suicide: Again, not in a conscious or deliberate way, but more of a sarcastic 'wouldn't it be a shame if these dangerous behavior patterns happened to have consequences' way.

Wanted to kill someone: Quite a bit! And has!

Have/had a job: Very many!

Have any fears: Losing the people she cares about, to negligence or outside influence. Not making any lasting impact. Dying, after viewing that BD, and double after reliving Johnny's memories, and triple actually doing it once or twice.

Family

Siblings: To her knowledge, she's an only child. It's plausible that her mother remarried after leaving the clan.

Parents: Her father is a Nomad. Her mother is City, though V never knew which city. She's not in contact with either. And so far, I haven't given them names.

Children: None and she's a little terrified of the idea. Not that she couldn't eventually change her mind - she never thought she'd be in love, either.

Significant other: Jackie. Misty. Arguably Panam and River. Saul and Placide she kinda wishes. Johnny she kinda wishes not, but they share a brain and that's pretty significant even if not in any traditional relationship sense.

Pets: One (1) sphinx cat she found and picked up that was hiding in the alleys of her MegaBuilding.

#chyrstis #nomad!v #cyberpunk 2077 #i'm pretty sure i've done this one with faith before...#so... have a v

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eunahfmdarchive · 4 years

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painting - partial lyrics + partial composition credit. date: early january 2020 / may 2020. word count: 834, excluding lyrics. mentions of eunah’s ex from last year. also, i almost forgot but there’s a reference to the climb in here, yeehaw. ALSO CW: some minor allusions to eunah’s eating and body image issues, and some discussion of sex ( totally non-explicit ). so sorry, i am very tired and forgot to say this in my haste to post.

she should still be enjoying mezzanine and its title track’s success, and a successfully wrapped set of promotions, but eunah can’t. instead, she listens back to the mini-album and feels bittersweet about it already, cringing as she hears the cheery notes of i’m not in love with you’s intro play. the title and the lyrics were supposed to be tongue in cheek, poking fun at their slowness to admit their feelings to one another. now, the title is just simple fact. she’s not in love with him. that’s fine, the feeling is mutual.

still, she can’t get him off her mind. eunah wonders why she didn’t dedicate this much time to thinking about him when they were together. is she too cold? is it because of her hyper focus on her album? is it because of her body? anything but that. she’d like to believe all the sweet things he said were true. that’s how she wants to remember their time together.

eunah’s no artist, but she still doodles something that looks a little bit like him in the margins of her notebook.

at a misty dawn i paint you the clouds that i painted with a brush make me remember you i paint you again ... the moonlight is coming in i open my eyes and quietly be with you again

‘painting’ sounds nicer than ‘drawing’, as far as she’s concerned. the scenes she imagines, the memories she conjures up when she recalls their time together look better as paintings too. eunah imagines them moving through life animated like they’re in loving vincent.

when you call my name when you stroke my hair the memories of you and me i’m falling down i can’t tell you, please love me come to me and hug me yes, i’m afraid there’s no one here

her thoughts and feelings look so dramatic written down, almost erring on the silly side once she’s read them over a couple of times. eunah sniffs back a tear, shutting her eyes tight for a second before leaning back on her window sill perch and laughing. she wonders, does she really care this much about this guy? about this relationship that couldn’t make it through one promotional cycle? that obviously means that they ended for the best, right?

or does this mean something more? would any relationship be able to withstand her busy schedule? eunah’s had her fair share of lovers, more than she thought she would. ( the total is three. ) but either it’s never gone past the stage of purely physical and friendly motivations or the earliest stages of real feelings. even this had only lasted a couple of months.

eunah figures she’s probably a dime a dozen. it wouldn’t take long for a guy to find a girl like her who isn’t so busy, or who isn’t so sad. a girl like her, except she’s more willing to put out. that’s okay too. eunah wishes she could be a bit more like that girl, wherever she is, and a little less like the sad sack sitting with her head against the windowpane.

when you call my name when you stroke my hair the promises between you and me i’m falling down i can’t tell you, please love me come to me and hug me yes, i’m common i’m just a common girl

discouraged in spite of her recent emotional progress, it’s months before eunah revisits the song. she’s not so cut up anymore, and has her sights set on someone else. she cringes at how raw she’d apparently been back in january, but she sees potential in the pages nonetheless. she’s been thinking lately, how she’d like to write something simple that’s still an ear worm, something that builds upon itself as it goes. sitting at her piano, eunah fiddles around with the words of the lyrics for a handful of hours so that they line up better with the melody she’s trying to create, until the syllables fall perfectly into place. by the time her phone alerts her to say that it’s three in the morning so she should get her ass in bed, for once, eunah can say with no doubt in her heart that she is quite pleased with herself.

it’s comforting to think that even her worst experiences can turn into something useful. eunah never expected for her road to recovery to be an easy one, and she always knew there would be setbacks, but to come out of one mostly unscathed feels better than she’d expected. there’s no mountain she wouldn’t climb now, not like before when she shied away. it doesn’t matter how fast she gets there, or what’s on the other side. she can only assume there’d always be another mountain. isn’t that how life goes?

eunah smiles as she drifts off to sleep, satisfied and proud. not just because of the song.

the next day, while her good mood is still leading the way, eunah finishes the melody for what she thinks will be the chorus of a song. she enjoys playing around with it, using her and lux’s home studio to record herself singing it a few different ways. softer, more like a whisper. then, powerful, belting out the woes within. they’re not her own worries anymore, and singing them doesn’t hurt her at all. like she’s rehearsing for a musical, eunah gets into character for her final recording take.

she’s a girl, looking out at the snow on a winter night, and she’s afraid she’s unlovable, maybe even cursed.

and when the recording is over, eunah is a girl wheeling back and forth in an office chair, smiling to herself as she anticipates a good summer.

#tldr: eunah ): but then eunah (:#fmdverification #also i'm gonna get back to emssages asap LOL i just wanna focus on these verifications!!!#sorry i promise i'm not intentionally ignoring everyoneee ily #* / 𝕚 𝕕𝕠𝕟'𝕥 𝕤𝕖𝕖 𝕨𝕙𝕖𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕝 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤 𝕔𝕠𝕞𝕖 𝕒𝕣𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕕 ⇨ self para !#eating disorder implied tw

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imagitory · 6 years

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Review: The Nutcracker and the Four Realms [Spoilers]

Hey, everyone! So today I decided to go see Disney’s newest release, The Nutcracker and the Four Realms!

Some of you may recall that I’m a rather big fan of the original ballet and was quite disappointed about how little the trailers and promotional materials for this film resembled that very ballet, so I went in with my expectations ridiculously low. Because of this, I was able to see some good in the film, which I’ll go into under the cut, but for those of you who wish to avoid spoilers, I must be frank that The Nucracker and the Four Realms is a mixed bag at best. Those who love the original ballet and book will likely hate how little the movie respects its characters and story, and those who don’t love the ballet and book might find it to be a rather standard action-adventure fantasy film for kids with few elements that weren’t done better in other movies. It’s not as god-awful as The Nutcracker: The Untold Story was or anything: there were good ideas here and there...but overall, I’m afraid I can’t recommend The Nutcracker and the Four Realms to anyone.

For those of you who don’t fear spoilers...a cut!

The Good!

+For the most part, the first fifteen minutes of this movie (taking place in London) felt the way a Nutcracker film adaptation should. There were nice Christmas colors, sparkling holiday decor, and an elegant party full of swirling gowns and happy children. Admittedly I probably would’ve preferred it if the story had taken place in Russia (like the ballet) or Germany (like the book), or even a vaguely European-ish setting without naming a specific city, but hey, can’t win ‘em all.

+All of the actors chosen I thought were pretty good choices. Morgan Freeman made a great Drosselmeyer (though I wish he’d had more of a role in the story), Helen Mirren and Keira Knightley are always good talent (though I’ll come back to problems I have with their characters later), and even the actor they chose for the Nutcracker, Jayden Fowora-Knight, was good enough that I wouldn’t mind seeing him in something else. But for me, the actor I loved seeing the most was Matthew Macfadyen as Clara’s father, who was easily one of the best parts of the movie. This could also be considered a bad thing, as he’s criminally underused, but it doesn’t change how nice it was to see him. (I can only hope that Keira and Matthew were happy to see each other on set again, even if they had no scenes together -- garg.)

+The music was pretty well-handled. James Newton Howard did a good job of not just running all of the usual tunes into the ground -- he gave us a nice haunting remix of the Dance of the Sugarplum Fairy during an eerie scene in the Fourth Realm, used the Battle track excellently during a confrontation with the mice, and arranged the Overture perfectly in the opening panning shot (which admittedly looked too CG for my taste, but still communicated the location and mood well).

+Misty Copeland’s ballet performances were excellent. She truly was a joy to watch every second she was on screen.

+The costumes for the most part were well done, as were a lot of the visuals. I have some issues with them that I’ll come back to, but honestly, the majority of them worked well for the characterizations and mood the film was going for.

+Directly connecting Clara to the magical world she enters is, in principle, not a bad idea, nor is the idea of her arrival in that world being more than just a fun finale. A battle in a magical realm will always be more interesting than one done in your living room. I also like the idea that Clara’s facing her real-world problems through her fantasy and that she’s more active in the story...I just would have written those ideas very, very differently.

The Not-So-Good...

+The script. And I mean absolutely everything about it. There is so much wrong with this script and the concept behind it that I will have to make separate bullet points in order to go through all of the problems I had with it:

The characters are beyond underdeveloped. Although I think Helen Mirren, Keira Knightley, and Jayden Fowora-Knight were good casting choices, they honestly had very little to work with. Mother Ginger was supposed to be a villainous sort, but from the very beginning, she never came across that way, despite the script’s and the actors’ best efforts -- hell, in a flashback we see that Clara’s mother actually sort of resembled Ginger! That sure isn’t a hint to who’s really trustworthy or anything. The same can be said for Sugarplum -- honestly, did anyone really not guess that she was the fake-out villain all along, especially after how long Disney has been beating that particular dead horse of a trope? As for our “Nutcracker” Phillip, he really has little autonomy in the story given that he basically follows Clara’s orders as a princess and then, mid-way through the story, we’re supposed to believe that he’s now following her out of real devotion and caring, even though their relationship isn’t given the time and scenes needed to show their growing bond. Drosselmeyer as I said was barely around: we learn that he basically raised Clara’s mother, which you would think means he had a role to play in the Four Realms, but nope! He doesn’t appear anywhere until the end except through his owl familiar that...does absolutely nothing during the entire story. I barely remember any of the side characters in the Four Realms, and I just finished watching this movie about an hour ago. Despite being some kind of a mechanical genius, Clara is amazingly bland. She says she doesn’t know who she is or what her place is, and yet Phillip goes on about how confident she is and basically everyone around Clara showers her with praise. She’s smart enough to teach the great inventor Drosselmeyer himself how to fix something and also tough enough to kick a tin soldier in the face during the climax...but that, in the process, kind of makes her boring and one-note. I never feel like Clara is in any danger or puts herself at any great risk because we never see her in a situation she can’t handle. Even when she’s “trapped” by Sugarplum, it’s at the top of a tower decorated with a chandelier and windows she can easily get out of, so she just jerry-rigs herself and her fellow prisoners a way down after a pointless touch of moping. (I mean seriously, you couldn’t lock her in a dungeon?? With LOCKED DOORS AND WINDOWS??) And really, hasn’t this archetype Clara’s fulfilling been done to death already? Rather than have her be yet another “girl ahead of her time” (one basically just like her mother, which doesn’t exactly make her special, then), why not have her be nothing like her mother? If Clara had been more like her sister Louise and yet expected by everyone around her to be like her mother, wouldn’t it have made her realizing she has everything she needs inside of herself mean that much more? Wouldn’t it have shown her the value of her own worth if she’d failed to live up to everyone’s expectations at first, rather than her be heralded as “truly being her mother’s daughter” and clearly being so from the beginning?

The Four Realms itself doesn’t really make that much sense. Not only does it resemble Narnia (snowy magical forest that you enter through a magical doorway, time moving differently than in our world, lost human ruler returning to ascend to the throne) and Oz (being split into four parts and, like Oz the Great and Powerful, a ruler of one of those lands being painted wrongly as the villain by another who actually wants to take over everything) a little too much for my liking, but I can’t even figure out its rules. For one, the film can’t seem to decide whether Clara’s mother Marie (nice nod to the original book, actually) created the land or discovered it. In all of the summaries I’ve read, it says that Marie created the Four Realms, and her identity as an inventor would seem to justify this, but in the dialogue, Sugarplum says she discovered each land, and brought its citizens to life through her engine invention thing. Yet if they’re all dolls brought to life and made large by the engine, why are they all doll-sized when they go through the clock to peek in on Drosselmeyer’s party? And how much of that world is actually based on our real world? The film at some points tries to make connections to Clara and her mother’s real life by having Clara and Fritz try to catch a mouse in their attic, depicting a Nutcracker ornament in a flashback, and showing Fritz receive a Nutcracker that resembles Phillip for Christmas, but the film drops the ball in having any of those touches actually mean anything. There are ways you can weave the real world into your fantasy land in a meaningful way -- the film could have had Marie taking inspiration from her real life when she made this make-believe world or even represented Clara’s inner turmoil by making the Four Realms completely make-believe, but instead it just comes across as muddled and odd.

Speaking of Clara’s mother Marie, I really don’t like the fact that I have to insult a dead woman, but...screw this woman! She makes this entire world and then, as her dying wish, tells her adopted father to only have her middle child discover it by leaving the key to her music box there? What, did Louise not deserve to be a princess too? Did Fritz not deserve to be a prince? Your husband, who called you the LOVE OF HIS LIFE, doesn’t deserve to know? Oh, but they’re not like Clara -- they’re not clever and special and different like you and Clara. That’s why you told Drosselmeyer that Clara was your greatest invention, because clearly your other two non-main-character children don’t count. Bite me.

The story crafted doesn’t fit the constraints that a Nutcracker tale must operate inside -- namely, the film sets up the fact that this family is mourning the loss of their matriarch, and yet the entire story focuses solely around Clara. Yes, the original Nutcracker tale is supposed to be about Clara, the Nutcracker, and the Mouse King...but by adding the mother’s death and the arc revolving around Clara and her family coming to grips with it, the story’s basically torn between what it should be about versus what it is about. This family is broken and must be fixed: Clara going into another world that has no connection to anyone but her dead mother to “find herself” isn’t going to fix that. Therefore the central conflict and the driving plot have no connection. The film either needed to take out the family part of the plot or have the entire family discover this world together and connect through their adventures in it in order for this choice to make sense.

On the note of focus, “The Nutcracker and the Four Realms” is a misleading title. A better title would be “Clara, Sugarplum, and Their Dead Mother,” because that’s all that gets any real attention here. Phillip, rather than being a prince cursed into the form of a Nutcracker, is a toy brought to life that serves Clara (the real princess) and has no animosity for mice excluding what has been indoctrinated into him by Sugarplum. He even BEFRIENDS the Mouse King at the end. Yes -- THE NUTCRACKER BEFRIENDS THE MOUSE KING. ARE YOU F**KING KIDDING ME --? As for the Mouse King, oh ho ho....wait until you hear this. The Mouse King is not a monstrous, fearsome creature locked in battle with his foe, the Nutcracker: instead he’s just an ordinary mouse that fuses together with his subjects into this monstrous giant mouse shape. But they’re not really the bad guys -- no, they’re underlings of Mother Ginger, who’s a good guy. So the Nutcracker plays second-fiddle to Clara, and the Mouse King plays second fiddle to Mother Ginger. TWO OF THE MAIN CHARACTERS OF THE STORY ARE REDUCED TO GROUNDLINGS OVER HERE.

Sugarplum’s motivation doesn’t really make sense. She claims she’s taking over because Clara’s mother Marie left them and that hurt her, but...how do you go from feeling betrayed by your mother figure to “taking over the world”? Is it because the world is one your mother created and you want to destroy it because it reminds you of her -- wait, no, Marie didn’t create it, though, she discovered it, and you only really seem interested in going after Mother Ginger with any great passion rather than any of the other Regents...okay, is it that you were hurt by your mother figure and so you want to create an army so strong no one could ever hurt you again -- wait, but everyone seems to like and trust you, so there’d be no reason for you to fear that and it’s not like you built up that lack of trust earlier...okay, is it that your mother figure chose her real family over her make-believe family and so you want to get back at the family she chose over you -- wait, no, you locked Clara up but you’ve barely even tried to take any vengeance out on her and you looked almost horrified when Clara outsmarted you... Yeah, what I’m trying to get across is that Sugarplum as a villain really doesn’t jive.

Because of the lack of character development and the many disparate plot elements fighting for your attention, no relationship in this movie comes across as particularly heart-felt or genuine. We get almost no build-up for Clara and her father’s disagreement before they part ways (and that confrontation has very little fall-out, so it feels hollow); Sugarplum’s affection for Clara seems so cloying and she is so obviously the villain that it makes it difficult for the audience to see any kind of bond forming (honestly, wouldn’t a kind of buried-deep resentment been more interesting, given that Sugarplum knows all about Clara but Clara knows nothing about her?); and there are so few moments building up Clara and Phillip as equals and friends that the scene where Phillip encourages Clara to stay by saying he didn’t follow her because she’s the princess basically comes out of left field. Even the relationship between Clara and her mother, which is so central to the movie, doesn’t ring true for me because they are so similar. Everyone remarks on how much Clara is like her mother, but that means that there’s no interesting interactions between them. Clara is just a Marie 2.0, rather than her own person, and Marie’s advice to Clara almost seems obvious: if Clara’s so much like the mother she admired, there’d be no reason for her to be as self-doubting as she is. If the film even just tried to show how much Clara still has to learn at some point, that relationship would’ve been that bit stronger, because it would mean that Marie saw something in Clara that no one else did, not even herself.

+Moving on, even though the ballet routines were pretty, they came out of nowhere. Rather than integrate dance seamlessly into the plot by having Clara be interested in ballet or something, the sequences only served to be fluff pieces plopped down into the middle of scenes that don’t connect to anything else going on. It just felt like the filmmakers were trying to remind you that “oh yeah, this is based on the Nutcracker -- I know it doesn’t resemble the Nutcracker in plot at all, but it’s definitely based on the Nutcracker!! 8D”

+The editing at points in this was really choppy and messy. There were quite a few tracking shots that got way up into the actor’s personal bubble, even in scenes that weren’t supposed to be uncomfortable or weird. For example, there’s a moment when Louise, wearing her mother’s old dress, comes to check in on Clara and their father -- the camera keeps the reveal of what she looks like a surprise until after showing the father’s awed reaction for a long moment, but because we the audience have never seen this dress or even a picture of the mother wearing it, we feel nothing when the dress is finally revealed. There’s no emotional gut-punch that would’ve been there if we saw a familiar dress on someone else, so the editing choice seems pointless.

+Even though most of the costumes were pretty, the hair and make-up choices were sometimes bizarre, even for characters that were supposed to be pretty. When Sugarplum does Clara’s hair up all princess-y, it’s supposed to glamorous, but it just looks ridiculous. I also wish that the Regents for the Flower and Snowflake Kingdoms had looked a little less cartoonish -- did we have to have the Snowflake guy have icicle bangs messily dribbling into his eyes? Admittedly both him and the Flower Regent were pretty useless, but their silly designs didn’t exactly make them more appealing. There were also two unfunny “comic relief soldiers” with their hair drawn badly onto their heads, and I don’t know, it just wasn’t a particularly appealing look for characters we theoretically are supposed to like watching. Louise also has a rather odd hairstyle in her first appearances that doesn’t communicate her supposedly feminine and mature character, which is supposed to be a contrast to Clara, but still likable -- instead it makes her look over-the-top and silly.

+Even though many of the visuals were nice enough to look at, there wasn’t much that I haven’t seen before. If you edited footage of the Four Realms alongside Wonderland from Alice Through the Looking Glass and Oz from Oz the Great and Powerful, I think you’d be hard-pressed to tell where one starts and another begins at points. The Christmasy colors you see in the “real world” really should have been dialed up for the fantasy sequences, but instead, there’s not much of a shift excluding seeing people with pink cotton candy and flowery vines for hair. Many of these supposedly doll characters don’t even . resemble toys with hinges or knobs or anything: they basically look like oddly dressed humans. Even a color palette shift would have been helpful in separating the two worlds -- for instance, having a more white/brown/yellow color scheme with pops of red and green for the real world and more of a pink/purple/blue/white color scheme for the Four Realms might have made each one more visually distinctive. It also would have made Clara pop out more if she’d been dressed in a more “ordinary” color scheme (like a pale yellow) that made her stand apart from the most fantastical backgrounds (perhaps touched with a cool lavender or light blue).

At one point I tried to pretend that this film wasn’t an adaptation of The Nutcracker. I asked myself, “if this wasn’t based on the famous ballet you love so much, would you like it? Could it stand apart as its own thing?” And unfortunately, the answer I kept coming back to was, “...It can’t be its own thing, because it’s taken too many ideas from other sources that did them much better.”

A young girl discovering a magical world while wandering around a strange house? The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.

A whimsical land of fantastical creatures that can only be saved by a special child? The Neverending Story.

A coming-of-age story where a girl navigates a world of fantasy and adventure to find herself? Labyrinth.

A world of magic and science where good and evil are not what they seem and an ordinary girl can be the princess of a lost kingdom? Castle in the Sky.

And honestly, if all I can think of when looking back on the movie I just saw are the ballet it took its title from and other better movies...what does that say about The Nutcracker and the Four Realms? It breaks my heart, as I so wanted Disney to adapt this classic story, but I wanted a full-length animated musical -- something in the vein of Disney’s Sleeping Beauty -- where any changes made to the plot and characters enhanced the story as opposed to distracted from it. Maybe someday, way down the road, Disney will realize their mistake and do The Nutcracker the right way...whether they do or don’t, though, I’m afraid this Nutcracker movie is doomed to fade from public consciousness, and even though there clearly was hard work put into it, thanks to the overall vision and script, the finished product is so forgettable that I can’t say it deserves better.

Overall Grade: D

#the nutcracker and the four realms #reviews #disney #spoilers #opinion #oh boy here i go #analysis #the nutcracker #the nutcracker and the mouse king #fairy tales #ballet

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b4kuch1n · 6 years

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two ghosts in Morioh

another day of running around taking care of businesses with my mom. Got some down time in the afternoon and spent it on this. yes Im a fluff writer now. somebody take me out the back

warning for non-plot, terrible poetry (Im serious. Ive never written a poem in english before. its not too nice to the hand), a filler OC thrown in on the spot, lotsa outta-nowhere headcanons, and all else possibly applicable.

Read on AO3

Okuyasu finally picked up.

Which was a good thing, because Josuke didn't wanna seem fussy or overbearing. 'twas a lost cause anyway, his mom would tell him, given that he had been anxious ever since he came home from the supposed double date that afternoon, and had walked from one end of the hall to the other over forty time (yes, she counted up until forty), mumbling to himself, hands firmly in his pants' pockets because he knew the moment he stopped holding it tight he would ruin his pomp by running his hand through his hair in frustration. An emotion that he caused to himself, his mom would remind him, because he refused to just walk over to Okuyasu's house and knock.

When the boy in question finally picked up, Josuke was a bit stiff from the draft in the hallway as well as from the tension built up by being stubborn. Okuyasu's voice only just managed to break through.

“Josuke?”

He sounded a bit hoarse. “Yeah, dude, I'm here,” Josuke said. The tension didn't leave him immediately like he hoped. “You didn't come.”

“Fuck, sorry about that. I'm jus'... 'm not in the best mood right now. Didn't wanna ruin it for you guys.”

“Shit, what happened? You okay?” Josuke could hear something fell on the floor with a metallic clunk. “What's that?”

“Oh it's-- 's the paint can. I'm fixin' up big bro's room upstairs. Been meaning to for a while now so... It's.” Okuyasu trailed off.

Josuke felt his shoulders stiffen up a bit more.

“It's some'n to do.”

Josuke bit his lip. After a moment of consciously picking off all traces of anxiety from his manners, he said, calmly, “I'm gonna come over.”

“No, dude, y'don't have to!” Okuyasu immediately barked, with something like panic in his tone. “I'm a bummer right now,” he added, almost sheepishly. “It's dumb, it'll go away on its own. Jus' some'n from the class.”

“Don't even think of it as me coming over to comfort you if that's better.” Josuke had to actively try to stay nonchalant now. “I'm helping with the room fixin'. It's gonna take the rest of the night with just you. That cool?”

He just caught his free hand moving towards his head on its own when Okuyasu sighed and he could hear the paint can being picked up. “Fine. I'm gonna be upstairs, let yaself in when you're over.”

By August 1999, Okuyasu had been sleeping in the guest room downstairs for ten months.

Keicho was a private person, and nobody could blame him at that. No kid would want to leave their toys trailing about when their father was so quick to anger. Keicho had faced so much of that misdirected rage, had put himself between his father and his younger brother so many times, that anything he had that wasn't broken he held on with an almost death grip. His routines, his CD collection, his rules, his own anger. He never learned to let go, and Okuyasu, whom Morioh had given more chances than it ever did his brother, had been feeling something like pity for that, and then guilty for pitying his brother.

He didn't really want to use Keicho's room again, especially when he never got his brother's permission. When Keicho had left balancing the book in Okuyasu's hand, their life became a clash between Okuyasu's fussing about trying to take care of things and Keicho's own rhythm and order, the solution to which that they came up with being that Keicho got the entirety of the second floor to himself. Okuyasu didn't mind – everything was simple with him, really – but after Keicho's death he felt even more out of place in that part of the house.

“It's fine if you wanna seal it off, dude,” Josuke told him one evening when he stayed the night, “you're the one living here. It's not like people know or care about that stuff, either way.” Josuke was smart, but he also believed in courtesy and manners even though he had been subjected to so much of the opposite of that, and it made for a strange kind of trust in humanity. One that was different from Okuyasu's own.

So in the end he decided to only seal Keicho's room. He had been slowly packing everything his brother left behind in the house into small carboard boxes and stashing them in the hallway. He wanted to keep a whole afternoon and evening free just to fix up the room itself, but he didn't think today would be it.

“Yeah, Koichi actually steered me home the moment we were sure you wouldn't show,” Josuke said mid-sweep. “I don't think Yukako mind. Actually I'm pretty sure Yukako doesn't really want me there third wheeling them. Gotta say I was about the same.”

“Sorry for leaving you hangin',” Okuyasu repeated, just as apologetic as when he said it the first time.

“It's not your fault you aren't well, dude,” Josuke stood up straight, free hand in his pocket. “Though a word beforehand would be good. But you were home late from the class, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Goto-sensei holding you up again?”

“Nah, he's nice.” He would be, after Josuke and Okuyasu dragged him out of some serious troubles last month. He was also a nice man in general. Okuyasu thought his writing style really didn't reflect that.

Josuke raised an eyebrow at his answer. Well, Josuke would have a different impression of Mister Goto Azuma, moderately famous novelist, given that the one who had to take a pen in the arm to grab the man (then under a Stand's control) was him and not Okuyasu. That kind of viciousness must keep people wary for a long time. Not to mention the apology gift they got was a place in Goto's ten-hour creative writing course organized by the uni, which was of no use to Josuke, but which Okuyasu snatched right up.

Outside of that event though, Goto-sensei was a mild-mannered, if a bit emotional and wordy person. He had anguish in his heart, sure, but he told Okuyasu once in class, in the tone of someone who was citing their name and age, that he wanted to love everything and anything more than he wanted to wallow in his sadness, so he channeled all of it into his writing and left his personal life free for his other emotions. Okuyasu found that a good way to do things as any.

“I'm gonna trust you on that,” Josuke said after a stretch of silence. Okuyasu grinned. “Anyway, something happened during the writing class then?”

“Yeah-- well, nah, but yeah.” Okuyasu rubbed his hands nervously under Josuke's confused look. “I mean, kinda? Goto-sensei gave us a prompt, and then I wrote something sad, and it bummed me out. 's all.”

Josuke's eyes grew wide. “Oh,” he said, “huh.”

“Yeah, it's dumb. Tolja don't mind it.”

“It's not dumb if it bums you out, dude.” Josuke leaned the broom against the desk and stepped closer to Okuyasu. His pomp looked almost plastic-ish under the buzzing light of the room. Okuyasu blinked when he held his biceps with both his hands. “I like you happy, Okuyasu. We gotta go there somehow, and I'm not a waiting man.”

Okuyasu looked at Josuke, eyes somehow brighter than the light should've made them, hands holding him firm as if willing him to believe. As if that had ever been necessary. He took a deep breath, and broke out in a grin.

“Thought so. You're a musical man.”

“Hell yeah I am.” The grin crept up onto Josuke's face, and he dragged Okuyasu in for a quick hug. “So, what's that piece you wrote today about?”

“I mean, you can read it.”

It must be impossible for Josuke's eyes to grow wider than this. This was maximum wide eye for him. “Really?”

“'s not fine art or some'n, but if you're cool with that, why the hell not. Wait here.”

Josuke waited in Keicho's half-cleaned room while Okuyasu went downstairs to fetch his notebook. Goto-sensei didn't care what his students did with what they wrote after class (“It's yours,” he had said, with passion, “and me telling you what to do with what's inherently yours is against everything I live for. Any experience you have with your own writing is deeply personal and unique, and if that includes setting your drafts on fire and inhaling the smoke, who am I to keep that from you?” He seemed to actually got misty-eyed at that idea.), but Okuyasu liked the man, and he thought keeping the things he wrote in his class in order was a way to show respect to a good teacher. Or it could at least make up for his terrible handwriting.

He flipped through the notebook as he went back upstairs. Man, he wrote more than he thought he did.

“Here,” he handed the notebook – opened to the correct page – to Josuke, who had finished sweeping the room and was bouncing on the balls of his feet in a subdued excitement. Josuke seemed extra careful with his hold on the thing.

“It's a poem?” Okuyasu didn't think that was actually meant to be a question, but he faltered a bit nonetheless.

“It's-- yeah. You aren't into that?”

“Dude, I barely read actual literature no matter what kind, that's not the thing. I'm just... poems are supposed to be even more about emotions than, like, novels and shit, right? I, uh...”

Josuke bit his lip. Okuyasu tried to follow the thread of logic.

“Goto-sensei said our writing is whatever we will it to be. If ya worry this won't be manly and cool, I'm gonna. I'm gonna will it into being for ya.”

“It's not that, dummy.” Josuke smacked him over the head with the notebook. He was smiling again though, so Okuyasu didn't mind. “I just don't think I can get the whole experience without you, like, walking me through it. Since you're the one with the emotions in this poem and all. So can you...”

Okuyasu grabbed the notebook. He looked at Josuke, and then at the words on the page between them, and then tentatively finished that hanging thought. “...recite it for ya?”

“Forget it if it bums you out again, okay?” Josuke held his hands up. “I'm cool either way. I wanna read it properly, sure, but if it's gonna ruin the night for you then forget it.”

Okuyasu stood there with his own notebook in his hand, with his boyfriend, in his brother's room that they were cleaning. He looked at Josuke, and then up at the buzzing light, and then at Keicho's CD collection on the shelf, newly dusted.

Finally he took a deep breath and said, “I'm not gonna hold onto it like that, dude.” And then he took Josuke's hand and said, “Let's come up to the roof for a bit.”

They left Keicho's room behind and went up to the attic, from where they climbed their way awkwardly up onto the Nijimuras' newly re-tiled roof. August was too early to feel chilly at night in Morioh, but there were winds, and the sky was wide open. Okuyasu thought it was a good place as any to give the poem a reading.

They settled on the warm tiles, and then Okuyasu had to stand up to go get a flashlight, and when he came back to the roof Josuke was still there – as if he would go away the moment Okuyasu blinked – the notebook balanced on his thigh.

“Ready,” Josuke said once Okuyasu had sit back down snug next to him, partly as a question and partly as a confirmation of his own status, and Okuyasu nodded.

“Alright.”

Okuyasu had never recited a poem before. His mom was a storyteller when she was alive, but there was a long stretch of time during which her conditions worsened slowly and the occasions lessened until both her and the stories were gone. His dad wasn't a wordy man, not outside of anger and grief. Keicho really would rather have silence than a human voice outside of his own, and again Okuyasu couldn't blame him for that. Or even question it, really, not when Keicho had his CDs and treasured them so. Outside of all that, Okuyasu had also never been good at school. He had other things to do, and the few literature classes he actually sat in for never saw him chosen by a teacher to read anything out loud from the textbook.

So, Okuyasu didn't really know what he was doing, no. But he was also a simple man, and right now it was doing it or not doing it. And Josuke had casted his vote – the only one that counted here and now.

“It's called 1999,” he said, and found his voice a bit raspy. He didn't figure out to clear his throat.

Cigarette butt on the ground

he chose one to pick up

and hold like a torch

Hand over head

Whispers like smoke

flow

1999

numbers he carried

one

in his left pocket

on the pad

along the line

into the waves

it's important, that's what he said

Cigarette butt in the air

His hand red

His eyes red

through them, the sky orange

twilight is for a while,

if statues are the same

1999

replays dissolve

into statics

into waves

away

one

on his lips

I didn't mean it like that,

or was it

I never told him,

or even

I don't think he knows,

that's what he said

Cigarette butt against the sky

futile

1999

variables

one

dissolved into the waves

my name is doubt,

and his I never got

1999

I met two ghosts in Morioh.

They were quiet a long time after that. When Josuke spoke up, he sounded like he just cried a bit. “Dude, that's so fucking sad.”

Okuyasu tried to keep himself from shining the flashlight on Josuke to see if he really had been crying. “For real? I don' even know what it's exactly about anymore. Jus' a buncha, uh, concepts put together randomly.”

“It got emotions into me, alright? So it's good to me, deal with it.”

“It makes you sad!”

“It's good sad though. Like listening to a late artist's album sad.” Josuke threw an arm around Okuyasu's shoulders. “That's how art is.”

“Sure,” Okuyasu harrumphed, but then smiled to himself, just a bit.

The two sat there on the roof well into the night. At one point they found their hands intertwined; Okuyasu let himself lean into the contact, flashlight and notebook laid aside, essentially forgotten. Late night breeze felt like sleep.

“The point of that poem is that I love you,” he said, and let it be.

The hand in his own tightened, and Josuke replied, with all the conviction his being could store, “I know, dude. Love you too.”

#jojo no kimyou na bouken #jjba #diamond is unbreakable #diu #okuyasu nijimura #josuke higashikata #josuyasu #fanfiction #fanfic #oneshot #man its been a while since I write something with romance that ends well #for any of the parties involved #but goddammit I just love the boys too much #I just (clenches fist) wish them all the good in the world #also headcanons stuffed in this fic include:#okuyasu writes #he won't trust himself to make a living out of it but he likes it #he also is actually pretty good with making calculations #as in addition substraction and shit #because when keicho started looking for dio and then the arrows he left taking care of the house to oku #that does include a lot of simple math #okuyasu can take care of that quick no problem but he gets stuck at logic math #like stuff with more letters than numbers in it #so he still doesnt do too well at school #yes I love okuyasu a lot what gives it away #and guess what!! I still have a lot left to give so Im gonna doodle the boys real quick tonight #have a good goddamn night guys I actually wrote something

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sunlitroom · 6 years

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Gotham s4, e20 - That Old Corpse

As I watched it, and some random observations here and there.

Previously on Gotham:

Lee and Ed very likely defiled a gameshow wheel. Lee wants to make sure her people are safe! Jim's looking for Ed Nygma. Lee wants to catch the real criminals who are making money off the backs of the poor. I'd ask how she thinks Mario's med school fees were paid, but that would be mean. Oswald doesn't like being locked in a vault. Lee got arrested. Jeremiah vs Jerome, who’s more than a man - he's an idea. Don't open sinister presents. Burn it down, brother

As always, long post will be long. There are likely to be rambling digressions. Gobblepot might appear (although I welcome all shippers and non-shippers alike :)). There will be naked favouritism and naked not-favouritism. Broader comments at the end on plotlines and parallels and general direction.

A cold and grey-looking graveyard. A breeze blows a flier with Jerome's face on it, which comes to rest against a headstone – Jerome’s headstone – which bears the legend: Second Time’s the Charm!

Brothers and sisters!

There’s an obnoxious guy leading proceedings - one of Jerome’s cultish followers, and some equally obnoxious but apparently less ambitious acolytes milling. Jerome’s followers are wildly annoying – which is possibly why he was always so happy to use them as cannon fodder.

They begin their usual spiel – but are interrupted by a motorbike. The rider alights – and we see that they are dressed as a jester.

The leader tries to throw his weight around, saying that this affair is invitation only. Yep – that’s really true to Jerome’s legacy of chaos. RSVP. What a tool this guy is.

The jester shrugs and the bells tinkle. There’s some laughter – but obnoxious man tells them that they’re welcome to stay, but won't be leaving. He throws a knife, which the jester deflects, before sounding a klaxon and playing a message from Jerome through a megaphone.

Why so sad, bozos? You think they could get rid of me so easily? Well – they did.

However, he tells them not to dwell on negatives – but throw one last party. First thing on the list – dig up his body.

The jester watches as the acolytes do as they’re told.

At GCPD - Jim looks somber, peering through the glass panel at the top of the door to the interview where Lee waits at a table.

Harvey asks what he’s going to do – and implied that Jim could just let her go. Jim refuses. Harvey says that she only robbed a dirty bank - people get away with a lot worse. Jim replies that doesn’t make it right. Harvey’s tone is more urgent when he reminds Jim that

We got away with worse – both of us

Jim loses his temper and snarls at Harvey that he doesn't need that crap thrown in his face right now. Yeah – Jim. Nasty old consequences. Such a drag.

He then tells Harvey to get out – which he does.

Jim enters the room. Lee barely glances at him

So you finally nabbed me, copper

That was a very Ed-esque remark. Jim asks her what the hell she’s doing. Lee remarks that she doesn’t suppose that anyone expected their story to end here. Jim asks if it is ending – and she asks him what’s left. She doesn’t sound resigned, in the sense that she wishes things were different – more just….done.

Jim says he wants to help. If she gives up Ed and returns the money, then she can get supervised probation. Lee refuses to give Ed up.

Jim is struggling to keep hold of his temper. He says he knows her, and this is just her way of helping people – he understands that, the appeal of being Robin Hood.

Lee says he wishes could he could help like she does - without the straitjacket of the law. Jim yells the law lost meaning because people like Lee abandoned it

Lee tells him to send her to Blackgate

Jim yells that he doesn’t want to – and that he wants to let her go, but he can’t.

Lee says that if he lets her go, then he could let himself go. Jim goes into a misty reverie about the things he wishes he could change – things he’s done. Lee says Jim? in a concerned tone – which was basically her plotline for two whole seasons

Jim is interrupted by Harvey – telling him something has come up, and leaves.

The something turns out to be a present from Jerome – a video. Harvey asks if Jerome is definitely dead – to which Lucius gives a hearty yes.

They play the tape. It’s apparently Jerome’s last will and testament. He plays up to the camera a bit

I hope I gave as good as I got, and left ample carnage in my wake

He has one last request – a wake at GCPD. He tells them not to worry about planning, he sent invitations.

Jerome laughs on the screen. Harvey says he doesn't like the sound of that – and we hear a mob approaching. Jim, Lucius and Harvey put the station on lockdown, as Jerome’s followers try to surge up the stairs.

Ed holds court in the Narrows. He’s also wearing boots that look almost exactly like the ones I got from TopShop.

Five or so Narrows’ residents are there. They want Lee freed – since she’s helped them out so much. Ed tells them tersely that no-one cares about the fate of Lee Thompkins more than he does – which is why he’s not just letting them bumble in. He has no intention of leaving her in the sweaty palms of Jim Gordon – that overgrown boy scout.

If it were up to him, he continues, Jim would be off the field – but Lee prefers non-lethal methods. So – he will create a team, and extract her with surgical precison.

He gives one follower the specific task of assisting Jim – should he get into trouble. They’ll carry out their plan, and then get back to counting the huge pile of money we see on the table. Breaking Lee out will be a piece of cake.

GCPD. Jim is phoning Alfred to ask where Bruce is. Alfred tells him that Bruce is meeting with Jeremiah to discuss the energy generators. Jim says Jerome's followers are rioting – and Alfred immediately begins preparing lots of guns. He says that Bruce is maybe safest in the maze – but he’ll head there anyway.

We hear a thumping noise in the background. It’s a battering ram. Jim hangs up on Alfred, and tells Harvey to open up the armoury.

Jerome’s lead follower continues to aggravate.

Jim tells Harvey not to direct everything at them. Dead or alive – Jerome likes to use distractions. This is just a diversion from another target. Jim aims to play him at his own game. Harvey is reluctant to run – but Jim tells him to let them take the station, tire themselves out – then they’ll surrpund the station and take them out.

It's so nice when Jim gets to think. Also I got very distracted by his eyelashes in this scene, which are very blond and pretty.

Harvey asks if he has a plan. Jim says he has, but it’s sketchy.

Bruce and Jeremiah are at Jeremiah’s maze home. Bruce is praising Jeremiah’s invention. He promptly gives a demonstration – using it to power the maze off-grid. Jeremiah looks to Bruce for approval, which he gives – excited about the possibilities.

He also says he wants Wayne Enterprises to move forward as quickly as possible with this- but Jeremiah suddenly seems nervous. He says it needs to be secret, and that it’s the ones closest to you that you have to keep your eye on - he knows better than anyone.

Arkham sent Jeremiah Jerome’s personal effects, whih apparently included his diary, which he’s now showing Bruce. It contains his fantasies and goals – his whole twisted vision. There’s lots of gory sketches.

Bruce looks at Jeremiah with concern

Maybe you shouldn't spend so much time reading it

Apparently Jerome’s favourite plan was torturing and murdering Jim, Bruce, and Jeremiah. Bruce puts a hand on the page to stop Jeremiah’s increasingly manic babbling. He tells Jeremiah his brother his dead, and he needs to leave his bunker and join the world.

Jeremiah mutters that he has difficulty believing Jerome is dead. Meantime, Bruce’s phone rings – Alfred, warning him about Jerome’s followers. Bruce tries to keep a casual face and non-committal answers – and tells Jeremiah that the call was just about lunch plans.

Jeremiah eyes him oddly – vaguely hurt incredulity.

That was a lie - you're lying to me, Bruce

Bruce immediately owns up and apologises – telling Jeremiah what’s really going on. Jeremiah is instantly fearful – saying that Jerome isn’t dead after all, and is coming after him.

This is taking forever – so - in short - Alfred is attacked at Wayne Manor. It sounds bad.

Jeremiah is pacing, as Bruce tries to calm him. He says he’s not like himself, not thinking clearly. Jeremiah confesses the truth about the gas. Bruce back a way a little, but stops. Jeremiah says he keeps seeing Jerome clawing his way out of the grave, coming for him and Bruce. He knows it’s not real, but it feels real – and he can’t control himself.

Bruce asks what if he could show him Jerome dead and buried. Jeremiah asks how – and Bruce suggests going to his grave. This has all gone a bit Wuthering Heights. Bruce tells him Jeremiah took away his greatest strength – his mind. Reality will free him of the trap.

Jeremiah says that if he thinks that would work, then he'll try

You're a good friend, Bruce.

At GCPD – the battering ram is still being deployed on the door. Jim tries to usher Lee out of the station, but she pulls away from him.

She wants to know what he was trying to tell him before. She alse tells him to come to the Narrows – and make a real difference. I’m enjoying Lee way more this season – but this just sounds pretty infantile. What will Jim do there, exactly? How is it better than what he does at GPPD? Does Lee just believe in vigilante justice now? Bank robbing is OK? Lee’s vision for the city is as unworkable and chaotic as Jerome’s.

Before he can get her out, the door is broken down – and the acolytes pour in. He hands Lee to Alvarez, gets up on a table and yells to hold fire. Looking round, though, he puts his plan in action – and yells that there’s too many of them: they need to fall back.

Lee looks round, but is shoved into a wall, and knocked out.

Jim heads to the locker room – followed by some of the acolytes. I have quite a big crush on Jim on this episode. Is it because he got to be thoughtful and clever? Is it because his blue suit brings out his colouring? His eyelashes? Who knows.

One goon who approaches Jim says he’ll carve him up. Harvey and Harper appear in the doorway behind them – and ask if they like to dance, tasing them. Jim grins.

In the kitchen at Wayne Manor, we see a pool of blood on the floor, and Alfred’s phone ringing out.

Back with Bruce and Jeremiah at the graveyard. Jeremiah asks if there’s something wrong, but Bruce says that Alfred would have headed to the office and waited for them there.

Jeremiah is jumpy. We hear crows and spooky whistling wind sounds. I like crow noise. It makes me feel calm. There’s also thunder in the distance. This graveyard is pretty heavy on the atmospheric ambient sound.

As we near Jerome’s gravestone – we see that the grave is empty. Bruce says the followers must have dug him up – but Jeremiah panics and runs, with Bruce following.

Oswald is eating dinner and watching cartoons. Butch snatches his food away, and Oswald asks how long these petty aggressions will continue. Butch says they’re not petty. Oswald asks if he’s supposed to starve while he guesses.

Butch says that Oswald said that if he joined him – they’d be back on top. Instead, they were grubbing around for Jerome and played by Nygma. He adds that Oswald also said that if he joined him, he’d find a cure. Oswald admits that - through no fault of his own - advancement has not run apace

Butch says they’re squatting and robbing liquor stores while everyone else is carving up Sofia’s turf. Oswald somewhat unconvincingly says they’re waiting until more obvious players show their hand

Butch grabs Oswald and says he will crush his windpipe if he doesn’t get what he wants. Oswald wriggles, looking fearful – but then his attention is caught by the TV, and he tells Butch to shush – he senses an opportunity. It’s the news about Jerome’s followers laying siege to GCPD.

Oswald laughs and points. Butch doesn’t understand his excitement, but Oswald tells him that confusion is an opportunity for the clear headed. Someone is showing their cards, and he’s going to take a peek.

(An aside - with potential spoilers, so be warned.......

One of the suggested options for a big betrayal in the finale is that Oswald will get hold of Hugo Strange, but will want Butch to be turned back into Grundy. I'm kind of.... not feeling this pushes Oswald into the irredeemable category they warn us about every season.

First of all - it sort of overestimates how much I care about Butch. Secondly - we saw how Oswald approached Butch initially. He wanted a return to the old days. He referred to Butch as his second-in-command. He was, for Oswald, friendly - not half as peremptory as we've seen him with other colleagues.

In return, Butch threatened him and choked him. He's continued to threaten him. Oswald's not the architect of his troubles - that would Ed - back when he stitched Butch up in s3; Barbara - when she shot him, and Tabitha - who rejected him. On top of that - he's somehow managed to shift complete responsibility for his cure onto Oswald. Mate - if you despise him that much, then don't work with him at all. Go solve your own problems. Bluntly, I kind of feel he's made his own bed here. If he had been reasonable from the outset, I don't honestly think Oswald would have chosen this path: he'd just have been relieved to have an ally. But - still traumatised after the physical abuse and torment that he endured in Arkham, I can understand how Oswald's response to more threats and violence might be to neutralise the threat completely.)

Outside GCPD, we can see that Ed's assistant watches Jim from a distance. Harvey and Jim have the leader guy in the boot of Harvey’s car – and are interrogating him with the help of a taser. Jim tells Harvey to ease off since the press are there – and lowers the boot a little to hide what they’re doing, while telling the guy to spill or he’ll stop worrying about his safety.

The guy caves and says they’re too late anyway – Jeremiah and Bruce will already be dead. Jim runs off to the bunker, while Harvey keeps tasing away.

Ed approaches with his band of Narrows’ residents. One looks up at him

Trouble, Mr Riddler?

Ed nods, as he realises prisoners have already been removed. He spots a nearby van – and thinks this might be easier than planned.

He flings the doors open. A random prisoner is overjoyed

It’s the Riddler! We're saved!

Ed scowls – and asks how they got out. The man tells him that it was through the old service door. Ed promptly closes the van door – and comments that they’ll have to improvise.

We need to find a costume shop!

The van door opens again – this time revealing Oswald and Butch.

It’s the Penguin! We’re saved!

Oswald makes the best ‘no’ face ever at the man – and simply points to the leader, who Harvey presumably deposited there after he got tired of tasing him.

Butch lifts him, and they leave.

A fed-up looking prisoner turns to the optimistic prisoner.

You ever get tired being wrong?

At GCPD – Lee takes in the chaos, and then slips away elsewhere in the station.

Bruce has followed Jeremiah into a crypt. He tells him they need to leave – and they’re not safe here. Jeremiah tells him Jerome is alive, and asks him how can trust him if he won’t believe him. Bruce tells him that he’s his friend. Jeremiah replies that he wants him to be his friend, and that he doesn’t know what it was like – living underground for all those years, and then Bruce came along, offering him everything he ever dreamed of.

Bruce and Jeremiah have a brief, heartfelt conversation about how Bruce believes in him, and how they could achieve great things together.

Bruce says, though, that they have to get out of the cemetery. Jeremiah seems confused by this, then paranoid. He shoots at Bruce’s feet, as it slowly becomes apparent he thinks Bruce is actually Jerome – wearing a mask. He orders Bruce to turn around and – grabbing him – accuses him of killing his friend Bruce, and tells him he’ll put him in the grave.

Chaos at GCPD. Ed has managed to sneak inside, dressed in a clown outfit. He makes his way to the Medical Examiner’s room – which is a little nod to Ed and Lee’s shared background at GCPD.

However – Lee has been lurking behind the door in case of intruders, and promptly wallops him over the back of the head with something heavy. On realising it’s Ed she’s knocked out – she exclaims, and bends down to check on him.

Jim is in the maze - looking for Bruce and Jeremiah. In the central office, he looks at the generator, and looks over the plans. In the background – a monitor flicks on. Jim approaches it warily.

At the graveyard, Jeremiah is walking Bruce to Jerome’s grave. Bruce tries to reason with him – but they stop short when they see Jerome’s corpse propped against the grave.

On-screen, we see Jerome – who bids Jim howdy. He says he’s still dead – this is just some posthumous fun. He knew Jim would see through his shenanigans, and wanted him here all along. We hear a sound – and see that the jester has a gun to Jim’s head. Jerome laughs.

At the graveyard – Bruce still tried to reason with Jeremiah, telling him that someone is tormenting him. Jeremiah, however, seems to have completely snapped. He says he’s a man of science. He takes out a switchblade – and says that he can provide evidence, slashing towards Bruce.

Back with Jim. Jerome tells him not to mind Ecco. She’s just there to make sure he doesn’t talk during the movie – he needs to pay attention so the plot makes sense.

Suddenly, Jerome is grabbed by a pair of hands belonging to someone off-camera. He begins comedy choking. Jim takes advantage of this – and begins to fight Ecco.

Cut to Jeremiah fighting Bruce, yelling about peeling off this grotesque facade

Cuts between all the fights. Jim unmasks Ecco. Jerome is still being choked on screen. We pan to the other screen – and see that the choking hands belong to….Jerome. He turns to the camera and comments that suicide takes it out of a guy – as he begins to peel his scarring away.

At the graveyard, where Bruce and Jeremiah are fighting. Bruce pleads with him, as some acolytes haul him off, that he can’t let Jerome win.

Jeremiah straightens up – suddenly calm

Jerome beat me? That'll be the day

The follower beside Jeremiah calls out long live Jerome

There’s scattered laughing that doesn’t last long, since Jeremiah shoots that follower in the head. He remains icily calm throughout.

Jerome victorious? Are you serious? He's dead. Haven’t you been paying attention?

He removes glasses to wipe the blood spatter from his face, as he does – his normal complexion wipes off, revealing chalk white skin below.

We cut back to the screen with Jim – who watches as ‘Jerome’ wipes his face clean.

The graveyard – where Jeremiah kicks Jerome into the open grave

I'm the one who's victorious.

Back to Jim, staring at the screen

Jerome is dead. Long live me

We see the scarring was only makeup – and it’s actually Jeremiah. This is exactly how white I Iooked when I tried Paula’s Choice physical sunscreen. Do not recommend.

At the graveyard, Bruce is led away. Jeremiah says that the insanity gas failed. There were cosmetic effects, but Jerome may as well have sprayed him with water.

Madness is feeble compared with greatness

He says that he is the face of true sanity. He read the compendium of Jerome's obsessions and goals, and will outdo him. He wanted to turn Gotham into a madhouse - but to truly build, you must first tear down.

Back with Jim. On-screen Jeremiah apologises for the inconvenience. He comments that his generator can store phenomenal energy, but will overload.

The graveyard. Bruce tells Jeremiah the gas worked – why else would he be entertaining Jerome’s plans? Jeremiah points to the book, and tells Bruce that Jerome wanted to slather him in honey and have him eaten alive by corpse beetles. That’s… kinda pervy, Jerome. Unimpressed – Jeremiah remarks that is mad. If he wanted to kill him, he’d just do it. Shoot him in the head - simply and sanely

Bruce tries to interrupt him, but Jeremiah sails on. He says he doesn’t want to kill Bruce.

The followers grumble. He asks if they’re going to listen, or behave like children. He turns back to Bruce.

I want to show how much we've changed things. I couldn't have done it without your help. He smiles.

Back to Jim. The generator hums ominously.

That sound you're hearing - that is a very bad sound. It makes you something of a guinea pig, Jim.

The graveyard. Jeremiah tell Bruce he’s indebted to him. The generators work even better as bombs

Back to Jim – who hits the emergency button under Jeremiah’s desk and runs out into the corridor.

Outside GCPD - Harvey says it’s time to take their house back. However, before they can do anything – there’s a huge explosion in the distance.

Back to the graveyard, where the explosion is also visible. Bruce stares at Jeremiah

One down. Jim Gordon is dead

Bruce screams no, and struggles. It’s nice to get the reminder of Bruce as the boy whose first instinct around Jim was usually to try to hug him.

Yes, Bruce - sorry - progress requires sacrifice

Bruce says he’ll stop him. Jeremiah replies that he really hopes he won’t try. He’d hate to kill him and can honestly say that Bruce is his very best friend.

He punctuates this remark with a backhand that knocks Bruce unconscious, right into the grave beside Jerome.

Oswald and Butch, and the annoying Jerome cult leader. Oswald tells him that he wants to know with a minimum of fuss what he and his cohort are really up to.

The leader isn’t the brightest spark in the fire – and just mouths the usual rhetoric.

I’ll never betray the memory of Jerome!

Oswald rolls his eyes. He doesn’t expect him to betray the memory of that old corpse. He wants to know who he’s currently following. Oswald – with Oswald’s knack for sensing a shift in power – has figured out that there’s something different about this latest behaviour, but hasn’t realised that the followers themselves are unaware of this.

The follower offers another long live Jerome!

Oswald throws his hands up, irritated, and sits down.

Butch chips in – asking if he’s staring at him. He says that sometimes he catches a glimpse of himself and it scares him too. You’re just pale, Butch. Jeremiah is managing to work it.

He then gets threatening – saying it makes him angry. And the longer he’s like this – the angrier he gets. He adds that the follower is preventing him from finding the cure – and that makes him very angry.

A bored Oswald asks him if his plan is to gain his sympathy by reciting his tale of woe. Butch says no – he just wanted to make him pee his pants in terror. He then suggests sticking chicken bones up his nose until he squawks, which he proceeds to do.

Here comes the wishbone train!

Oswald does his little train mime again, from back in season one.

Woowoo!

The medical examiner’s room. An unconscious Ed has his head resting on Lee’s lap – I think.

The smartest man in Gotham and you let heart do the thinking

She slaps his face to bring him round.

Ow!

Were you awake this whole time?

He was apparently – and is beaming at Lee calling him the smartest man in Gotham. He sits up, and they both kneel on the floor, facing each other.

She tells him that there better things to aspire to. Smiling, he says he does aspire to them, very much.

She tells him to be himself – the guy who can let go of the past and change: she likes that guy.

He smiles at her. She asks if he has a clown costume for her. He says that while he’d be into that – he’d brought her a gasmask, since the cavalry will be coming very soon.

The dregs of the party at GCPD is dispersed when they throw in some tear gas. Good show.

Ed and Lee head out through some kind of side door, hiding under a staircase as cops file in. They’re standing very close. Lee is eyeing Ed like he’s edible – and then grabs him, hauling him in for a kiss, which he reciprocates. They break apart. We get a slightly ominous tone of music as Ed tells her not just to wrap him round her finger. It’s gone, though, as she smiles at him and tells him

Come on – let’s run

Harvey hits a random passing acolyte for taking a leak on his desk, and offers a beer to Harper. He says the chaos reminds him of his first apartment at Crown Point – where he still lives. Lucius approaches, and tells them where the explosion took place – the bunker, where Jim was headed.

A corridor at Wayne Enterprises. Jeremiah approaches. A guard asks if he’s alone or with Bruce. Jeremiah replies that he’s not alone – and we see Ecco is with him. He’s in full Joker-style garb now. They quickly kill the guards and steal a clearance card.

Entering the room – we see lots of his generators.

Look at these – the gifts of true friendship

He tells Ecco they’ll load them on trucks – and give the city a new face.

General Observations

The big tour de force here is the foundation that’s built for what will be one of the most abiding and strangest relationships of Bruce’s life – his interactions with the soon-to-be Joker.

I do think the set-up is effective. It’s poignant in that they’re two people who could have been friends, could have meant a lot to each other. Bruce wants friendship and connection. Jeremiah is quiet, and clever, and his upbringing has been as odd as Bruce’s in many ways.

For his part – much as he was to Jerome – Bruce is a proxy brother to Jeremiah (Gotham does love its proxy families). Just as Bruce did for Jerome what Jeremiah didn’t do – came back to rescue him from his abusive uncle – he gives Jeremiah the companionship and support he needs.

Now that Jeremiah is what Jerome made him – Bruce remains paramount in his mindset, although the relationship is now forever twisted. We know Bruce felt guilty about Jerome’s destructiveness, and equally unable to leave him to his abusive uncle. It’s likely that the glimpse of might-have-been he’s had with Jeremiah will mean he’s equally unable to give up on him - both his sense of responsibility for the devastation he wants to cause, and the faint hope that he can be cured and redeemed.

It's irritating that an episode that has some amazing moments - the simultaneous fight scene, for example, and this set-up for Bruce and the Joker's weird relationship, and an amazing performance by CM - also contains some examples of one of Gotham's old problems: the seeming forgetfulness of what's happened in previous episodes, which leads to inconsistencies and messy loose ends. So, for example….

Jim flies off the handle at the notion that Harvey is referencing Pyg when he mentions that things that both of them have got away with in the past. However, not only are there many other things Harvey might have been referring to - but both Jim and Harvey seemed fairly settled and stoic on the Pyg issue. Jim's sudden flash of temper seemed out of place - like some of the development in recent episodes hadn't happened.

Both Jim and Harvey seemingly have a case of amnesia regarding Lee's attempted murder of Sofia Falcone. She's not just misguidedly trying to do good in the Narrows. She shot someone in the head. Have they written that off? Covered it up? Forgotten about it? I have no idea - because it's just not touched on at all here. I know Lee outright confessed it to Jim just last week - has he forgotten about it since then? Has he just decided not to chase this up?

Why is Oswald squatting in Sofia's mansion? Is he still officially on the run? Is this the continuation of Jim's decision not to re-arrest him? If he's hidden Martin away somewhere - how will he clear his name? Is he hiding because Falcone loyalists are likely staking out his home? If Sofia's turf is being carved up - why was her home left uninhabited? Is it being carved up because she orchestrated the murder of her father's old capos - leaving herself without allies? On that note - Victor isn't doing anything about this disrespect?

Why is Lee's curiosity suddenly piqued by Jim's almost confession? She found out, episodes ago, that Jim must have had dealings with Sofia. She knew he must have been up to his neck in dodgy dealings, but didn't care about that beyond being willing to sell him out to save her own people. Why is she now behaving like Jim having a guilty secret might be news, or of interest? It wasn't before.

The best part of this week was the stuff with Jeremiah and Bruce - because it was consistent to what we know of their personalities. Bruce wants to help people - on a small and a grand scale. He wants to share Jeremiah's invention because it can do good, but he also wants to help Jeremiah himself. He also likes him, and wants to be friends. Jeremiah (even after whatever the gas did) wants Bruce's admiration and friendship. His actions - although now hopelessly poisoned - are all tangled up in that. What they do here is rooted in their characterisation - and so it works. As for everyone else......

Thoughts?

#gotham commentary #that old corpse #gotham s4e20

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xpwewarchive · 4 years

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XPWEW Friday Night Pyro (1-3-2020)

XPWEW Friday Night Pyro

January 3rd, 2020

Houston, Texas in The Fertitta Center

*Show intro*

Golden Bryce enters the ring to a pretty good pop, he’s popular here as the New International Champion (instant replay shows how he defeated Slayer for it last week at the 2019 Xtremey Awards edition of Pyro)

Golden Bryce enters the ring with microphone in hand and hyped up the Houston crowd to his dismay he is interrupted by The XPWEW World Champ Champagne Clausen who enters wearing Louis Vuitton red bottom shoes and a canary suit, looks pretty G I’ll admit it.

-Champagne says Golden Bryce is just like Deshaun Watson of the Houston Texans, *crowd boos* Unproven and Overrated. *crowd boos*

And as a man from upstate New York, myself I am very excited to see my Buffalo Bills beat you guys tomorrow ha ha ha *crowd boos* BILLS MAFIA!

Golden Bryce smiles and nods “Champagne if I’m the Houston Texans then maybe you are the Buffalo Bills, maybe that’s applicable because just like Bill Mafia I think you’d look a hell of a lot better going through a table *crowd cheers*

Champagne “HA HA HA! Yeah Houston laugh it up, yeah look at you Bryce so pathetic, clinging on with sports jokes, timely references to draw the ire of this crowd here. Truth is nobody likes you and everyone here is tired of you and I know we haven’t been properly introduced but I’ll do that now. I’m Champagne Clausen. I’m YOUR world champion. I’m (SHUT UP!) I’m Houston’s world champion and I am not scared of your challenge. As a matter of fact I endorse it. I’ve beaten Masato Tanaka twice on pay-per-view! Okay I beat the lovable moron Freight Train last week, I even did something you didn’t Bryce (heh) I actually beat Jake Awesome. (Crowd ooos)

Bryce: “So what’s the deal are we doing a Tables match?” (Crowd pops)

Champagne “On God. On Bills Mafia as my witness...You’re damn right” (Champagne cheers his world title with Bryce’s I-N title around his waist) *walks away*

-Ethan Bedlam already in the ring, loosening up and hyping himself up

Garrett Thompson enters

M1: (((Squash Match)))

Garrett Thompson defeats Ethan Bedlam

After the match: All Man comes out with All Woman and goes to speak towards GT but Scott Steiner jerks the mic right out of his hand *Big Pop*

Scott Steiner: “Houston! We have a problem that crumpet and tea drinking big bastard wants a piece of the biggest arms in the world! Ha I’ll break your back you goof!

((Garrett yelling obscenities))

Steiner continued: “All my freaks here wanna see the Big Bad Booty Daddy put a beatdown on some punk that’s why you better find a partner or else get slumped by me and the All man, or just fold like a b**ch (crowd pops)

GG enters and starts punching All Man and Scott Steiner and GT runs up to the ramp and we have an impromptu 2 on 2 right now

M2: Tag Team Match

GT & GG defeat Scott Steiner & All Man w/ All Woman

The match ends when GT hits Steiner with the elbow smash to which GG hits his finisher “The Plunge” off the top rope for the 1-2-3 - All Woman was just a little too slow to break up the count and the tag division might just have a new team in GT & GG (Quite odd bedfellows)

Backstage: James Westerbeck is here for an interview with John Oliver and John just says he’s happy to be here on Friday Night Pyro and since doing his segment on professional wrestling on his show “Last Week Tonight” a few months ago he’s become obsessed with the culture and it’s just a thank you fest until women’s Champ Amy Lee enters with Brian Lee behind her (silent). Amy says she doesn’t like when people who aren’t wrestlers get involved in her business. Oliver makes a quick wit joke “I don’t like when people who aren’t talented at communication get involved in the act” *crowd oohs*

Amy: “Are you calling me stupid? I could break your little ass in half boy”

Lola Starr enters “John, I love your show I watch it every week. I respect your open minded opinions”!

Amy towards Lola: “What the hell do you think your doing freak!”

Lola Starr: “I’m stepping up and ive been here for months and I’ve yet to be given opportunity, being showcased. It’s like I got signed because of the headline. Yes. I’m trans and yes I identify as a woman and yes I am going to challenge you for that title. Tonight.

Amy (looks at Brian Lee)....You got it, let’s see what you goin. (Amy looks at John Oliver and gives him a huge dramatic pull in sloppy kiss).....

Leonard, Dragon and Ms. Ryu enter

Joe Gacy, Brodie Croyle & Kiera Hogan enter

M3: Non Title Match

Leonard McGraw & Dragon Kid (c) vs The Plagueground w/ Kiera Hogan

(((ENDS IN NO CONTEST)))

Match abruptly ends when 3M Ultra comes out and attacks Croyle and Gacy for revenge on them injuring his partner M3 Quintillo last week, He beats them both down with his XTREMEY award and at the climax breaks it over Kiera Hogan’s skull (rough spot)

3M Ultra angrily grabs the mic and says last week my partner was decimated for absolutely no reason by these a**h****s and then the damn company that I bust my ass for gave me that trophy! Really? “The WOAT award” Is this a joke? Get that camera up close I will be taking seriously

Leonard McGraw stances up “Son, do you wanna be taking seriously?”

3M Ultra “Hell Yes!”((Leonard McGraw decks him with a buckshot clothesline) crowd pops huge

McGraw: “I don’t give a damn if it’s Plagueground, The Larva, GT, GG, All Man, All Woman, Kiera Hogan, Hulk Hogan I’m fixin’ to whoop some ass and I’ll do it on anybody who wants smoke. And I got two words for every son of a bitch in the back F*** You

(((McGraw does the hook’em horns and the Houston crowd pops huge)))

Backstage: Doxy Deity is talking sweet and cute-like with Jordan Oliver until Ruckus, Siaka & Chrissy Rivera Walk up

Ruckus “I ain’t tryna buss on ya but bitches really just waste your time pimp”

Doxy “who the f*** you calling a bitch, m*****f*****?”

Ruckus: Hoe don’t give me no nut roll

Jordan: Ruckus bro don’t man it ain’t necessary for all this beef right now

Ruckus: Nigga I’m trying to win titles ok and if we gonna be a team I need to make sure you got Noooooooo distractions and Dox, I, I, I, I respect you, you know what I’m saying but my boy here is young, he dumb and he over this (crowd laughs). Listen pimp I don’t care what y’all do, I might even get Chrissy to watch, shit but I wanna win gold and if you ain’t trying to do that, Then I might have to dip and go solo and get mines cause best believe Ima get mines.....

Rosemary walks by McGraw and Dragon Kid quickly and comes to the aid of Kiera Hogan her just got blasted in the head by 3M Ultra with his “WOAT” Xtremey Award..

Slayer enters

Dramatic pause between entrances because the crowd knows this is CJ’s final match

))((Chris Johnson Career Retrospective Video Plays))((

Chris Johnson enters the ring; one final time to his old theme song “Stay Fly by Three 6ix Mafia”

Chris Johnson’s wife Erin Brown aka Misty Mundae is in the front row of the ramp way and he kisses her forehead during his entrance

Retirement Match

M4: Slayer w/ Rosemary & Kiera Hogan defeats Chris Johnson

After the match and the loss the crowd pops for Chris Johnson

((THANK YOU CJ *clap clap clap clap*))

Chris Johnson grabs the mic: No complaints about the match, No complaints about this crowd, No complaints, No excuses. Wherever we were, Whatever I did. I always left my blood and sweat on this canvas and I’m not gone, I’ll be around but this is my final night as an in-ring competitior and...

***lights go purple***

LOTUS enters

((Lotus walks into the ring and Chris Johnson looks around, perplexed and confused.))

((Lotus kicks Chris Johnson square in the groin))

LOTUS unmasks

Nick Simmonds on commentary : “ Katie, that’s. Wait that’s..that’s Slayer’s daughter Hazel! What the world!

Kaitlyn Khaos on commentary: “Nick, Hazel has a very very odd past with Chris Johnson”

Lotus looks at a downed Chris Johnson “Do you remember me!!!! The anguish and abuse you put me thorough!!! You tried to take me away from my family. You son of a bitch I’ve waited a long time to do this!!!”

((Slayer beaten up and Rosemary looking on from the corner of the ring))

LOTUS goes outside and grabs a steel chair and beats Chris Johnson with the steel chair over and over again repeatedly until eventually even Slayer and Rosemary try to get her to stop and LOTUS looks at Slayer and Rosemary then just whams Chris Johnson with the chair really hard one more time. *Crowd stunned*

Chris Johnson is lifeless in the ring

LOTUS exits slowly by herself and then walks by Erin Brown (the wife of Chris Johnson). Drags her over the guardrail and starts pulling her hair and kicking her until Arena security gets involved and pulls LOTUS away kicking and screaming.

Advertisement: Golden Bryce and Dr. Disrespect “What is Twitch” commercial #2

HBO’s Last Week Tonight set up is put together pretty accurately in the ring

John Oliver enters

In ring segment: Welcome to Last Pyro, Tonight with John Oliver. Please welcome tonight’s guest the xpwew world champion Champagne Clausen

Oliver makes jokes at Champagne’s expense

Compares the vegetation of his father to the Brexit events

Regina Clausen is really the Ivanka Trump of XPWEW, because she’s talentless, has done nothing to earn her position, Only in said position because her father gave it to her and at times it looked like he wanted to have sex with her (crowd groans)

John Oliver runs down the numbers between Champagne’s 22-0 streak vs Jacques 89-0 streak.

John Oliver shows much sympathy for how the story of Freight Train has been one of hope and disaster

After sitting there for the most part taking in all of these insults Champagne sits up in his chair and Says

Champagne: “John I like you. I even like your show well I guess used to. I always start John Stewart did it better (crowd groans). John you come out here and mock my father, my sister. I don’t even care. They didn’t win this title for me. I wasn’t handed anything lest I remind you I worked very hard for the past 5 years to get to this level, to this stage. Hell, to even be in a monstrosity of a segment with someone like you John. And my answer is I don’t care. None of your jokes phase me. My dad is a vegetable. Yea. I drove my sister off the stage inside of a Pope mobile. I did that. John I’m not like a politician who will look you in the face and lie. I did these things. I’m glad my dad is in a coma. I’m happy my sister is damn near handicapped somewhere. And I’m freakin’ ecstatic that Freight Train’s Cinderella story last week came to a screeching hault.

John Oliver (was that pun intended?)

Golden Bryce enters

(Stage hands clear the Last Week Tonight set quickly but leave John Oliver’s table in the ring, this table match is gonna start

World Champ vs International Champ

Tables Match

M5: Champagne Clausen defeats Golden Bryce

(((John Oliver got mildly involved in the match but he didn’t take a bump, just ran away)))

The match ends when both men our on the top rope and Bryce was sizing up Champagne for the Super-Plex off the top rope and Champagne had the resilience to reverse it, slide down Bryce’s back and hoist him backward for the Electric Chair drop through the table and your winner Champagne Clausen!!!!

Champagne Clausen rolls out of the ring with ease and pushes over the John Oliver “Last Week Tonight” screen monitor then holds him world title up walking up the ramp as the show ends...

#xpwew #friday night pyro #chris johnson #lotus #jake aweosme #golden bryce #leonard mcgraw #champagne clausen #all man

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