#you don't know the hoops I had to go through to get this video. my phone hates me

[aimsey-updates]

Aimsey posted a youtube short!

#aimsey #no video id #youtube update #mod nev #you don't know the hoops I had to go through to get this video. my phone hates me #anyways tumblr deleted my update AGAIN (pt 2 to the qna) so I'm taking a break from this for a minute lest i go insane

[cherriesformatt]

collab of the year || matt sturniolo

matt x fem!reader

summary: matt invites you to meet some friends

warnings: none I think maybe a little suggestive

word count: 1,2k

a/n: hope you like this one

🍒

I was in my bed scrolling through twitter and all I had on my page was videos and pictures from Tara's party. Which Chris and Nick attended while me and Matt had a little gateway trip for our anniversary. They called him on FaceTime and that ended up in Tara's vlog. Everyone thinks it was hilarious including me. I also loved all of the memes with Matt going to bed while the party was happening.

When we came back boys told us about everyone and that they really had fun. I was really happy about that because they usually don't really go out that much. Especially not to parties.

I stopped scrolling when I felt arms around my body.

"Good morning" I heard Matt's raspy, morning voice.

I smiled when I felt little kisses on the back of my neck sending shivers down my body.

"Morning..." I said and turned around to face him.

I smiled when he opened his eyes.

"I am surprised it's like 9 and you're up" I laughed and fixed his hair from his eyes.

"Well...I have things to do" He said and smiled.

"Like what?" I raised my eyebrow.

"Like...you" He pulled me to himself even more and I was about to kiss him when I heard loud knocks on the door.

"Are you guys up? And dressed? Can I come in?" Chris said from the other side of the door and I looked at Matt and kissed his cheek and moved away a little.

"Yes... come in" I said and Matt growled and covered his head with a pillow.

Chris came into the room and looked at us.

"I have news!" He sat on the bed next to Matt.

"Me too, I actually hate you both right now" Matt said and threw the pillow from his face at Chris.

I rolled my eyes and sat up. I put my hair into the bun and looked at Chris.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Tara invited us for dinner to celebrate 1 mil, she wants us to meet Johnnie. Jake, Larray, Sam and Colby are going to be there too. Nick also said that they can come over here after dinner and we could hang out. y/n you will finally meet Tara!" Chris said.

I looked at him. Pure panic in my eyes. I need to clean up this place.

"Well... Then I should start to clean already" I said. That was kinda my thing. Cleaning when I am stressing out.

I spent half of my day cleaning the house, even if it was already pretty clean. Boys helped me a little, mostly Matt. Chris said he is going to clean his own room. Do I believe him? No.

"So should I like match the energy and go all black?" I asked Matt going through my clothes. I already did my make up and was standing in my underwear trying to find something I like.

"I already told you, wear whatever feels like good for you" He said looking at his PC.

"I hate men" I said dramatically and texted Nick to come downstairs.

He walked into the room and looked at me.

"Wow... I bet the other triplet does not get this view. All because I'm gay, how lucky..." He said sarcastically.

"I get more than that..." Matt blinked at him with a smirk on his face.

"Shut the fuck up, my room is above you, I fucking know" He said.

"What do I wear? Help me…He is useless" I looked at Nick pointing at Matt.

"Can't you wear that dress you bought last time we went thrift shopping? And the platform docs with it" He said and went to my jewelry box.

"Those are cool, wear this too" He put a chain and some small hoops on the dresser.

"Thank you Nick" I smiled at him and started to put the outfit together.

"See learn that for the next time" I told Matt when his brother left the room.

"Just to be sure... Did Chris saw you in your underwear?" He asked and I laughed. Can't believe he was still thinking about it.

"Probably? I don't know, who cares...Matt maybe I am just going to stay home" I said and sat on the bed.

"You literally need to stop overthinking that. You know that I also am not a fan of big groups but this people are really cool and chill. It's gonna be okay" He looked at me and smile.

"You look beautiful as always and everyone is going to love you" He stood up from his chair and came up to me.

He put both of his hands on my cheeks and gave me a quick kiss. I smiled and wrinkled my nose.

"Alright..alright.. you will ruin my make up Matthew" I took his hands of my face giving him one more quick kiss.

The dinner went great. They all were really nice. Me and Matt were the only couple there so sometimes they made little jokes about it. I felt very welcome even if I wasn't part of their world. I tried to stay out from the cameras usually. But I didn't want to be rude so when they were filming stories I was on it. I was kinda stressing about people talking shit about me.

When we came to our house and at first we talked and played games together. Then we decided to go to topgolf but before that they wanted to film some TikToks.

"You and Matt are literally a goal couple. He is just so sweet checking on you all the time. Look at him he is scared I'm going to eat you" Tara said to me and I laughed.

"Yes.. he is the best" I looked at Matt with a big smile.

"Do you wanna film TikTok with me? I love your outfit so much" She asked me and i said "fuck it if tara yummy asks you to make a TikTok with her you make a TikTok with her" in my head.

"Okay...I usually only post for my friends but if you want I'm in" I smiled.

We decided to use "Tara Yummy is a mindset" audio since we kinda match with our outfits. She was a real sweetheart and such a funny person. They all were.

"I am really glad you are having fun tonight" Matt said while we were driving to top golf. He put his hand on my knee and smiled.

"It's really fun I'm glad we are doing this. And that you guys are meeting more people" I said and looked at the back at his brothers.

"Girl your and Taras TikTok is so viral" Nick showed me and my eyes went big for the numbers.

"Fuck... that's crazy" I said and Chris laughed.

"Told you that you should start to film as well" He said.

"No thank you..I just couldn't say no to Tara" I laughed.

Topgolf was souper fun. I won with Matt for the first time since forever so I was so happy. Everyone had so much fun and we filmed a lot. Boys were teaching Tara how to play and she looked so cute with the club because she is just so small.

"Matt is sad because his girlfriend is better than him" Jake said while we were on our way to the cars.

"Poor Matty" Chris made a sad face.

I laughed at them and looked at Matt. He just shook his head.

"Well...he is a winner anyways, he has the hottest girl in town, I dare you to show her to the world Matt" Tara said and I blushed.

I BLUSHED. WTF

"Are you flirting with me?" I looked at her and she laughed.

I might have a new best friend.

#chris sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo x reader #nick sturniolo #matt sturniolo #chris sturniolo x reader #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo x reader

[fixyourwritinghabits]

Any tips on writing for people with ADHD and a short attention span?

Hello! As someone who was recently diagnosed/had to go through the process of jumping through hoops to get meds, I've been trying to put together some new writing routines to get back on track. It has... been a process. Here are some things I've learned (from my personal experience, your mileage may vary):

Writing everyday doesn't work. I think this really common advice has been debunked overall, but let me tell you, there are days when the energy bar starts on empty and stays there. I can function, but the creative juices aren't there. Trying to stay creative by other means, either by reading or working on another hobby, can be a way for you to keep your day productive instead.

Hard schedules don't work. To reflect the above, I can get up at 5am every damn day, but only some of these days will get work done before work. That isn't to say you shouldn't try to make a schedule and stick to it - you'll definitely get more done that way. But it isn't always going to work, and you shouldn't beat yourself up if you can't keep to it every day.

Being 'plugged-in' definitely doesn't work. The 'oh I need to look up how to spell this oh no I'm twelve pages into a Google hole' is definitely still a trap. To keep focused, keep that instant internet away from you. Need to look up something, slap a note on it and come back when you know you don't need to write another 1000 words.

Medication/caffeine/whatever you use to function can only do so much. I can drink a cup of coffee and immediately slam myself into bed. My meds exist to get me through the work day, which is what I need them to do, but won't always be able to keep me through the extra work day. Trying to stay awake and focused when my brain is fucking done for the day just doesn't work. Instead, I have to focus on what does - writing in the morning or at noon, making time when I know I can still function rather than trying to take it on at the end of the day when I know I'll be spent.

What has been working and I've been trying to incorporate more has been:

Drafting on paper. This has always worked for me, and it continues to work for me. Physically writing the words down and editing as I type them does slow down the work, but it makes much more sense to my brain.

Using color codes/other visual tools. Color-coding characters, using different colored pens for types of notes, and flashcards help me flesh out plots. It makes plotting more like an art project, but that in itself can help me be more creative. If you like working on a computer and not by hand, you can spice up Excel sheets and Google docs with different fonts, templates, and adding notes.

Lists, lists, and more lists. I have a planner for work, I have a planner for my personal life, and I have a notepad where I write down all my daily goals, however small. Using a combination of the three has been working great for keeping me on track. For me, physically crossing things out and checking things off is a great motivator.

Alarms and writing sprints. Slap a timer to a screen and write to it. Use an online writing sprint, hop into a work-focused Twitch stream, or use a timed YouTube video to put yourself in a focused environment with a goal in mind.

Relocate. There are certain areas of my apartment that I've dubbed 'The Ooze Zone' where all I can do when I'm there is get nothing done. Unfortunately, because my apartment is quite small, the Ooze Zone takes up most of it. So if you can't set up an office space or a designated area where your brain knows to get work done, consider checking out your local library, a relatively peaceful park, a friend's house, or a cheap coffee shop. I know somewhere who would just drive somewhere and do 80% of his writing in his car. If you can't do your work from home because your brain won't let you, look into alternatives.

If you have meds, take them. Getting medicated and on the right dose is hard, believe me. I've been trying to get back the swing of things after a. being checked out from not being medicated and b. being checked out from not having the right dosage/type of meds. It is a process, but if you have the ability to seek a diagnoses and treatment, it is worth pursuing. If you have meds, take them on a regular schedule and how your doctor recommends. Add an alarm on your phone to remind yourself. Make it part of your routine. Doing it haphazardly is only doing yourself a disfavor.

And lastly, Get More Sleep. The number one thing that may be fucking you over is not sleeping enough. Having ADHD is directly tied with having more sleeping problems in both children and adults. If you have this problem, it is affecting you way more than you know.

Here's the thing - I thought I had a great sleeping schedule for the longest time, and could not figure out why I was so exhausted half the time. But I recently got a fitness tracker, which informed me that actually, my sleeping patterns were complete dogshit. I may have been in bed for eight hours, but I spent three of them tossing and turning.

Make a sleep schedule and stick to it. Go to bed at the same time of night. Consider getting a sleep tracker to see where your sleep patterns are messed up and what you can change to fix it. This sucks, believe me, but going to bed at 9pm to account for that time you'll spent tossing about before you get up at 6am may be the only way to recover those missing sleep hours. Even if it feels like it's taking away from your free time, you will function better overall.

#writing with ADHD #writing tips

[demigirlravenqueen]

Historically ever after part 5

Darling Charming 2 New And Improved!

I wanted to do an updated version of this post because, it was really just my second attempt at doing something like this so it's not really the best and I've learned quite a bit more about 18th century fashion since then and I'm not really satisfied with that post anymore. Darling was the fist character that I decided to make these posts on because everybody kind of knows that her design was 18th century inspired. I think that it's just one of the recognisable historical styles .

Starting with the dress, it has an open front showing another layer underneath like most styles of dresses from the Georgian period which usually had a petticoat underneath as well as a matching stomacher if one was worn. The robe robe a la francaise is, I think the most iconic for this look. The robe a la francaise also featured large box pleats at the back and were commonly worn over side hoops which gave the iconic wide hip look.

1 2

I think that darlings dress more closely resembles an English gown or robe a l’anglaise which is more fitted and less often worn with side hops therefore usually having a more round skirt shape.

Either way it doesn't really matter as I doubt that the people designing these outfits really had this in mind. But I'll leave this article by the American Duchess which dose a good job explaining the different styles of 18th century gowns if you're interested.

We also have those lovely elbow length frilled sleeves which were common on fashionable gowns.

The print on her dress really resembles some of the floral patterns common during this period, such as these ones I found in the Met's online collections.

1 2 3

the underlayer's pattern is more subtle and and resembles these silk woven fabrics.

1 2

Her hair is swept back and curled in a way that's meant to reference the large fancy hair styles iconic to the period, mostly around the mid 18th century. Feathers, ribbons and jewellery were all pretty common hair pieces.

Her hair is also verry light which is again a reference to white powdered hair.

While were talking about hair I'd also like to mention that we plenty of primary sources indicating the use of blue and pink hair powder during this time. I don't know a lot about that (or just historical hair in general I'm trying my best), but Abbey Cox did a great video the history of coloured hair, and after watching that I was able to find portraits showing it. It's such a niche fun fact that I don't think that it was intentional and they probably just chose blue to go with the colour scheme they already had but it's still cool.

Her jewellery was interesting to look into, full disclosure I don't know much about jewellery outside of the Victorian era and even then my knowledge is pretty limited so I was mainly digging through the V&A archives and comparing them.

Her necklaces are I think the most similar. You got the jewels arranged in a circle around another jewel and the elaborate patterns.

1 2

I think her bracelet is more armour inspired I'm not really able to get a good enough look at it to notice much detail.

dangly earrings sort of like hers I've seen a lot of but rather different.

With her flower shaped ring I was either expecting to either find nothing or something similar but smaller which they made more bulky for doll production. I didn't find a similar ring, most were verry simple in shape, but I did find this broch and gasped verry loudly when I did because it was so similar.

I might do another one on her dragon games outfit, but I don't really think there's anything there, and this post is getting long, nothing compared with what I have in the works for Lizzie but... I have homework to do and this has already taken up enough of my time.

As always, feel free to add on or correct me.

Part 0.5 Part 1 (original darling post) Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

#eah #ever after high #darling charming #eah darling #fashion history

[devildome]

The brothers reacting to your interest in historical human fashion

-and the DevilTube channel you run as a hobby!

Commission for @wirelesswizard! I want to thank you for your patience, I know it's been a minute since you sent it in. Honestly, it was really fun to work on and study up on historical dress and the like! This is my first commission, and sadly it will be my only one for now. I love writing, but it simply is not possible for me to continue after this. Maybe again in the future!

Reader is GN, though the fashions lean towards feminine~

Lucifer:

- "MC, time for dinner!" Lucifer's voice reverberated through your door. He was getting impatient, clearly irritated that you were late for supper again for no discernible reason.

- "Coming!" you managed to strangle out while you reached for the upper strings of your corset. Getting into it was harder, you remind yourself while simultaneously swearing to never wear this garment again.

- You struggled for several silent moments before hearing Lucifer's knocks again. "You say you're coming and yet I don't see this door opening. Are you joining us for dinner or shall I tell Beel--"

- "I'm stuck." You swing the door open to a unvexed Lucifer. You were completely covered, thank Diavolo, but it was a strange feeling to be dressed in an Edwardian corset with sweatpants underneath, not to mention your no makeup makeup (for video purposes only) smeared from the effort of changing clothes.

- In one swift motion, Lucifer steps into your room and closes the door. "Turn around," he says.

- Without question, he undoes the knot you had created in your efforts to get free. While doing so, he loosens the rest of the garment so you'll be able to wiggle free once he's gone.

- "Quite the outfit, MC. I regret not knowing you're a seamster." He comments, stepping back to a respectful distance.

- "Oh it's just a hobby..."

- "Then it shouldn't get in the way of regular house activities. You'll be at the table in 5 minutes or I'm letting Beel have your serving."

- After the eldest brother leaves your room, you scramble to get to get dressed in normal clothes and get to the table before too late.

Mammon:

-You pouted at your open closet. It was filled to the brim with miscellaneous pieces of historical costuming; so full, you barely had room for the rest of your normal clothing thank Diavolo for school uniforms.

-You think to yourself that there has to be a better way of organization beyond tossing them haphazardly into the closet and shutting the door.

-Slowly, you take each piece out--a hoop skirt here, a belt there, and several shawls and covers--and inspect them carefully for any damage before laying them gently on your bed. The last piece was arguably the biggest.

-A cape. One modeled for 16th century Italy no less.

-A knock sounds at the door, and before you have a chance to answer, Mammon and his antics burst in. "Oi [MC] whaddya think about going--what's all this?" he questions, freezing mid step.

-You can see the grimm symbol as clear as day in his blue eyes as he scans all the items in your room. They land on the gold cape still hanging up.

-"I'm organizing my stuff," You say, to emphasize that you are not selling anything.

-There is a tense silence between the two of you--a battle of wills over the fate of your hobby.

-"Are you gonna--" he tries to say.

-"Keep organizing? Yes. Sell? No." You put your hands on your hips. Your word is final.

-He pauses for way longer than is comfortable, but his eyes keep flickering between you and the cape. He yearns for the cape as one would apparently yearn for a lover.

-After a few more seconds of silence, you finally relent.

-"Okay, you can wear the cape, but no selling. Got it?"

-You might as well have not finished your statement as Mammon zoomed to the garment and flung it on with the bravado only he can bring. And you know what?

-It looked good on him.

Levi:

- Armor. Armor was different than fabric. It was, well, armor. Metal.

- Recreating a knight's armor seemed so simple from the get-go that you figured you'd give it a shot.

- At least you had the sense to use foam and cardboard and metal spray which was easier than commissioning a smithy.

- Do they even have human smithy’s in the Devildom? Whatever.

- You look your costume armor in the mirror. Looked realistic enough to fool anyone who wasn't there at the time, though it was remarkably stiff due to the glue.

- And you sort of... glued yourself in there.

- Just when you debate about going to the bathroom in such a delicate state, a rapid but soft knocking sounds on your door.

- “A-A minute! I’m, uh, a little predisposed at the the moment," you say.

- A shuffle at the door and a little mumble tells you its Levi. You could feel the anxiety through the door. Great. You scared him off.

- "Wait, Levi? That you?"

- "Y-yeah," he said through the door.

- "You can come in!"

- He slowly opens the door and pauses at the sight before him: you standing there amongst craft supplies as stiff as a statue in your perfectly molded false armor.

- "[MC], what..?" You can see his hands shift and tense through his coat pockets, but you just let out a small laugh.

- "I'm trying out a style of armor from feudal England. It's my favorite era of human history and, well... I got curious."

- Levi just stands there frozen, clearly unsure of what to do or say next. Both of you just sort of stand there. Then it's Levi who breaks the silence:

- "I know a knitting pattern that makes the yarn look like chainmail."

- "I would like to know that, yes. But first," you hold out your cuffed hand, "please help me get out of this. I need to use the little knight's room."

Satan:

- It was at the library where he figured it out. The clues were there, of course, with your desk being covered in threads and boxes shoved to the side whenever he came over to study with you in your room, you shuffling to put the tripod for your DDD away. It was none of his business of course, but he'd be damned if he didn't find out what it was you were hiding.

- You were now in his domain and by Diavolo he would see your personal project through to the end.

- You startle a bit when he sits across from you, your attention being pulled from one of the many open books sprawled across the table. He regards you with an amused look as if he had solved a great mystery that no one asked him to solve.

- You tell him you've had a long-time interest in 16th century dress, how their corsets were constructed, and the Elizabethan age overall. Though... you were frustrated that you hadn't found an actual legible how-to guide for constructing their dresses.

- He thinks for a second before telling you to wait.

- After several minutes, he returns to you with a few more books in hand. The first one being a how-to on gown construction, the second being a collection of studies done on historical human textiles; the third is a how-to on how to build different kinds of bodices.

- With these, too, Satan adds that he knows a few tailors across the city that would have better access to fabrics.

-The next month is spent studying and practicing until you construct a passable dress for your next DevilTube video on human fashion, thanks to his help.

Asmodeus:

-You are overwhelmed. Your specialty fabric had just come in, but you realize you need help. A Lot of Help.

-You barely have time to explain yourself and your 5 foot pile of fabric before Asmo drags you through the doorway into his room.

-"Oh [MC] you know how much I love ruffles, are you kidding me? I didn't know you liked that kind of extravagance~"

-Oh yeah. You knew.

-You explain the reason for your request; you were doing a video on France and their influence on human fashion both back then and in the present. You were going the extra mile for this one bit, but you didn't want to do any less.

-To say Asmo was excited is an understatement.

-He is almost jumping off the bed when he tells you all about why he knows what he knows, the time he's spent with Solomon in the human world, the actual techniques for certain seams in the clothing of that particular era.

-In all, you're taken aback by exactly how much Asmo knows, but you don't complain as it's way better than reading books and not absorbing a single word.

-The next few weeks you spend hanging out in his room, both working on different parts of your gown. Eventually you run some makeup ideas by him and he responds in kind.

-The final fit came together in his bathroom as he helps you into your wig and ties you into your corset. In the mirror you look ridiculous, the powdery face and bright colors of the ensemble making you feel like a clown.

-But the sense of accomplishment overpowers all of that. -You thank Asmo for his help and everything he did, and he wastes no time accepting the thanks with a hug. "Obviously, who else would help you look as good as you do, doll?"

Beel:

- The gym was a weird place to wear a dress. It was a heavy material, dark, and so thick you were already sweating.

- Beel couldn't help but stare in bewilderment at your bizarre choice of clothing and weird workout form and listen to the lesson you were giving to your DDD.

- You were doing a short bit about workout wear of the early 20th century. Women gaining their independence lead to more freedom regarding sports and general athleticism, so you thought it would fit to dress as such.

- You notice Beel sort of inching closer on the screen of your device, but you pay no mind as you continue on with the routine.

- Eventually, he's right there next to you, mimicking your form and wondering what the hell was going on. You show him what you're doing and explaining the reasoning why they wore what they wore and why they did what they did.

- After your video finished, the both of you all sweaty and messy, Beel can't keep his eyes off you.

- "What are you staring at? Something on me?" you frantically check your person for anything that might ruin your costume.

- "No it's--" He paused, "Should I have worn a dress like yours?"

- Oh Beel.

Belphie:

- "It's just a dress, [MC]."

- You huff. No, he wasn't wearing just a dress, it was a true vintage recreation of a 17th century nightshirt that just so happened to be in fairly good condition never mind the clear evidence of stains and patchwork near the chest

- Belphegor, the seventh demon lord of hell, stood there in your room rubbing his eyes as if he didn't just sleep all day in your bed.

- It was the final part of your fashion video essay, and all you need is one last model for the sleepwear portion--the conclusion.

- "No, it's not. Just hold still while I get this b roll."

- "I was having such a good dream before you woke me up--"

- "And you'll be back to dreaming in no time, Belph, I promise."

- He tugged at the plain-looking nightshirt, inspecting the material.

- You didn't mind as it actually captured well on camera--his inquisitive facial expression, his posture towards the camera, and his general sleepiness all paired well with your voiceover...

- Until he complained.

- "What's it made out of? It's kind of itchy."

- "Supposed to be made out of human cotton," you reply.

- He points out the seemingly random stitching near the collar. "What's this about?"

- "No clue, didn't ask." You watched the camera screen carefully. By this point you had enough b roll, but it was never a bad idea to have more.

- "How long do you need me here?" the demon's face scrunched, and you knew he was feigning annoyance so he could get back to napping.

- "I am just about--"

- Aaaaand he's flopped on the bed.

#obey me! shall we date #obey me hcs #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me levi #obey me satan #obey me asmo #obey me beel #obey me belphie

[6ad6ro]

maybe i shouldnt complain but

my steam deck broke, weird gpu issues. idk why but any game that was 3d and came out less than like 15 years ago (graphical complexity i guess) would have it's polygons like explode (instability) and deck would crash. this was the second deck i had, the first already had been replaced for other reasons. valve had me spend like a month (it felt like a full time job) in testing dif things to figure out what was wrong. in the end, they wanted me to send it in for repairs.

first annoying thing, they waited until AFTER we tested everything to check if i was still under warranty. even tho it'd been i think less than a year since i got my replacement deck, i don't think that refreshed my orig warranty. so they told me to send it in and then they would send it to their official repair partner (united radio) and estimated it'd cost like 200. i sent it, and then got an email from ur.

this was the second annoying thing, because the person at ur asked me "so what's the problem with the device" as if they had no idea. like i'd tested dif things for a month and there were so many logs of conversations with valve, and they didn't look? nobody gave them that information?? well anyways i copied and pasted my entire log i had with valve tech support, because that would have alllll of the info including pics and videos. all ur said in their reply email was "thank you". idk why but i got vibes that nobody over there would be readin what i sent to them.

they got back to me and said it'd cost 200 and they would be fixing control boards and buttons and the battery. they were vague, i couldn't find info online about the boards, was confused why they were fixing things that weren't broken, but assumed i was ignorant of the part names and how they'd relate to the issue. so i decided to trust that valves repair partner would know what they were doing.

i got my deck back, and it took about 10 minutes of testing to experience the same exact issues as before. they obviously didn't test shit. i spent way more time lookin up what was actually replaced. for a purely graphical issue, they decided to replace the r1 button, the boards that affected controller input, and the battery (that was already tested by valve tech support to not be broken). it was like if you brought your car in for engine trouble and they replaced the windshield wipers and gave it back like "here you go!". fuckin morons. so third annoying thing, turns out they were just absolutely incompetent.

i sent valve an annoyed (but prob still too poilte) email trying to find what the fuck went wrong, and told em i wasn't all that happy. and they quickly got back to me and said to send it in to rma (for free this time). later i got an email sayin they were sending out a brand new deck. FINALLY. and so i waited. it was supposed to arrive today. i waited by the door all day bc my first deck got stolen. it was takin longer than estimated to arrive, so i checked tracking. ups was all like "hey the address is wrong, correct it to get package".

after some legit obnoxious hoops to do that, i found out whatever dipshit sent my package had just fucked up so bad lol? like number was wrong, but also they included my phone number after the street address so ups thought it was an apartment number. on top of that, valve restricts address changes so it's not like i could fix it anyhow. that's at least four super obnoxious things.

honestly i'm startin to think they should send me an oled switch instead for all the dogshit they've put me through. because what the fuck.

#long

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 28/01/2024

Me and the rest area of the melee here, singing, "Where'd you go​?​"

Season 7 Featured on: SiIvaGunner's Highest Quality Rips: Volume Ruby

Ripped by Kenji Furutani

Y'know, for having followed the channel since way back in 2016, it's kind of funny it took until just last year for me to see the term "rip-hop" be used, in the comments to Me and the rest area of the melee here, singing, "Where'd you go​?​". I've covered plenty of rap mashups here on the blog before, be it kirby will never have drip *spits out cereal*, Top of the Looping Steps, or Noonsummer Madness, and while the directions for all these mashups are obviously different based on the tracks used, the latter in particular - Noonsummer Madness - has really stuck with me since covering it. And I think it is specifically because it uses its two sources to specifically embrace a chill, laid-back vibe, one similar to rips like Sidelined Symphony and Yoshi's Cookie World. If we're to be technical, all rap mashups count as rip-hop, but its these emotional rips in particular that truly begin to define the term for me.

A lot of the appeal with video game music, beyond its sheer quality of composition, arrangement, and so forth, is the emotional, nostalgic ties that you form with it through the act of playing. Listening to music through albums necessitates that you form your own associations with them - either that you know about the artists behind them and what they represent, or that you're able to associate the music with important parts of your life, or simply that the music brings you back to younger times upon relistening years later. A big reason why, growing up, I always found VGM so much more appealing to listen to than what the radio suggested was because those connections were already made from playing the game - I'd associate boss music with the emotions I felt upon fighting said boss, RPG town music with the state of my party and game experience up to that point, menu music associated with just how many hours I'd sunk into the game in question - this last reason in particular is precisely why rips like Neon Wi-Fi click so well for me. Nostalgia's a very powerful tool to bring out emotions in the listener, yet the one it seems to be best at leveraging is that of sheer sentimentality: the smiles and tears we had along the way.

And that, to me, is the purest essence of Rip-Hop, and what rips like Me and the rest area of the melee here, singing, "Where'd you go​?​" truly mean to me. Relistening to video game music I'm already well acquainted with doesn't always strike me as "nostalgic" when I've been hearing it so frequently in videos or just through replaying the games, yet...there's a sort of further emotional impact that gets extracted from them through little more than the power of a good rap song mashed up with it. Where'd You Go by Fort Minor of Linkin Park fame is, like with Noonsummer Madness, not a song I hold much of any memories with - yet the simple addition of its vocals and thumping percussion contrast so beautifully with Melee's All-Star Rest Area theme.

There's a beauty to just how simple the Rest Area theme is, being driven by a sequence of only 20 notes played in bunches of three, yet coated in a heavenly backing of pianos and string. That pairing of simplicity in melody yet beautiful instrumentation sort of embodies why "rip-hop" as a rip category is able to work so beautifully - many times, you don't need to jump through the most complex hoops to bring out the most out of two songs through mashing them up. Althesame, the amount of small tweaks done to both songs to make Me and the rest area of the melee here, singing, "Where'd you go​?​" work so seamlessly are still both noticeable and very much appreciated. I haven't been aware of Kenji Furutani's contributions to the channel until just recently, but with rips like this and more under their belt, its clear to me just how much of an understanding he has of the true potential video game music holds.

#todays siivagunner #season 7 #siivagunner #siiva #Kenji Furutani #Youtube #Bandcamp #melee #super smash bros melee #ssbm #super smash bros #ssb melee #kirby #kirby music #hal laboratory #fort minor #linkin park

[thirst2]

It's been ages since I've loaded SEGA's Shining Force into an emulator on my parents' family computer (played it many times, since; just been a while since I was a child loading it in that house on that computer) and I still get this jolt of excitement and anxious wonder whenever I see pixel-art that reminds me of it or think back on a memory of seeing of opening a Genesis Image file (like, just seeing the file extension).

I don't know why that game, in particular, captured my imagination so much (maybe just the right place at the right development stage, before I had anything to compare it to, when it was all brand new because I'd never seen anything else).

But I have such nostalgia for it; just the right mix of good gameplay, a story to unfold, and a million details of the world to explore and search for.

I'm working on an RPG (in Emacs, of course) and I want to capture that sense of curiosity about the world and sense that there was a story that was going to unfold; you didn't have to do anything special to get invested: just go along for the ride to discover new things and characters to get attached to.

Anyway, the point isn't me creating a video game – if that even ever sees a finished state – but that we lose something when stories and art aren't readily available.

Part of why I want to make a game is so those same emotions I had as a kid could be freely available to anyone because the media will always be freely available. I think we've lost something with most of our media and art having so many hoops to jump through to be able to access any of it (or its ability to disappear forever, in our streaming era).

#About Me #About Me Retrospective #Games #Video Games #Programming #Emacs #Text Editors #SEGA #Shining Force

[formulapisces]

I read all of what you wrote <333 the whole process is just so ridiculous and unecessarily stressful and cruel. I don't understand the point in even assessing for various conditions if you're just going to turn around and say nope, go away etc and make people keep fighting just to have some support and dignity

when I was filling my form in, I spent maybe 3 hours on it and I had to get somebody to help me do it. at my assessment the woman there told me you don't really need to put any effort in since the point of the f2f meeting is to discuss it all. that felt like an extra hoop, and for what? so, I'd see what people are saying about the forms these days before you put in a lot of effort filling it in. ik that if I reapply, I'm not writing a single word

as to whether the assessors are nice or not, I think more than anything they're just extremely inadequate for the job they have. I did not get the sense my assessor understood ADHD at all and it often felt like I was talking to a brick wall. so I think keeping records of everything will help you a lot

happier things.. p7.. what an amazing drive from him today <333 it's a shame the team didn't nail the setup because ohh what could have been.. 🦇

from my time of applying for any other help to do with my health, i’ve learnt to always go off of your worst day - saying ‘oh sometimes it’s like this but it’s not like that most of the time’, is the worst thing you can do because they seem to believe if you are fine one day of the week the other six have got to be fine too.

it is all so frustrating but i’m just determined to get through it, i’m getting a letter from my GP who is very supportive and kind luckily and the mental health team i used to be with to help me with the form and the assessor. so many people have said the process made their mental health even worse than before so i’m really keeping an eye on that, but i know if i’m feeling this anxious before i even have the form then i’m going to really struggle over the next few months, it’s just all of the waiting i’m going to have to do. the current average time from application to award is 20 weeks, so 4/5 months and i’m not ready for that - i’m calling tomorrow, so that is late november or early december…

you get a back payment when you get it, but the whole process is just so long and over/underwhelming and stressful. i’ve been watching these videos over and over, one of them reminds me a lot of you and she had applied before who had a horrible experience which has helped me a lot with the mental aspect of applying too (her videos are from 4 years ago but the advice still applies: her account it The Life of Lorna if you’re thinking of ever applying again and need something to help - she also guides through each section of the form and breaks down what everything means so you can possibly be awarded more points)

i’ve been debating whether or not to do this for a long time, but i decided it’s worth a try at least - i’m completely fine with the information and filling in the forms, but trying to get the assessor to understand how my mental health actually affects me and the wait is causing most of the anxiety.

#🦇 anon #personal #im trying to stay optimistic but i am not excited for this process at all. #im relying on this so much #i know it is bad too especially because the system is so terrible but i couldn’t stand work anymore it was far too bad for my anxiety #🤍

[dzpenumbra]

2/15/23

Things have been in a pretty steady decline lately. I'm sure it's pretty apparent in my writing. Today was especially difficult.

I'm just turning off a skate video I had on so I can focus on this. I should really get this out. I heard back from my old therapist, the one who worked with me the summer before the pandemic and bridging through the beginning and peak of it. He was very nice, thoughtful and kind in how he responded. But I did not process the response well. At all.

I'm still trying to think more positively, see the silver lining, all that. I really am trying. But there's something very deep and very... hurt... that got set off. Again. He's not going to help me. I swear to god, the most common phrase I've heard out of people in the mental health field over the past 5 years has been "I can't help you" or "I don't know how to help you". Can any of you just like... point me in the direction of someone who can?! I mean, it's not like... once you just walk away and say "sorry dude, I can't be your friend", or whatever they're saying to me... it's not like my problems just... disappear. It's like they expect me to just wake up someday and just... be a different person... who doesn't have the struggles that I have. That I'm just going to snap out of it and suddenly my life will just fall together.

So I try to be patient. I try to be proactive. I do my research, both internally and externally. I study. I learn. I strategize. But... what fucking good is my study, what good is my research and strategizing when I only have half a fucking picture?! I don't have perspective. And the fucked up part? Most people detest perspective. It usually sets them off. Critique, criticism, feedback, whatever phrase you want for it. Most conflicts I've witnessed involved this. I need perspective. And the whole fucking state is making me jump through hoops for this, not a single person is volunteering to assist.

Right now I'm referring to the ADHD screening, I can tell I'm being vague. Let me sum up the history here. Problems in highschool - ADD screening: positive. Got a diagnosis and a 504 plan. I was in special education for a fucking year, when my older brother was valedictorian, talk about humiliating. Flunk out of my first semester of college due to PTSD - ADD screening: positive. Got into a special education college which I promptly dropped out of because they tried to cram me in a dorm room with 2 other students, one of which brought his girlfriend over to stay the night on my first night there and... brought back even more trauma. And, on top of that, I got screened for ADD a third time back in... probably 2017 or 2018? And they never fucking gave me my results. I drove an hour to this medical building that was like completely empty, I sat in a silent room with someone and did this stupid test thing, and never got the fucking results. I was just so fed up at that point, I just gave up on it.

Now, 2023. And I can't get my current therapist, my former therapist or my brand new GP to just sit down for one fucking hour so I can either confirm this and start studying new skills... or cross it off the list and look deeper, try to understand how my trauma, depression and anxiety are creating these insanely disruptive barriers. I feel like all I do is just... wait. I just fucking wait for people to give me one hour of their time. And at that point, the pressure on me to make months worth of progress in one fucking hour is just... it's impossible. The pressure cracks me.

This may be hard for others to relate to, but this is something extremely familiar to me, try to imagine this. Imagine you are living 100% alone. That means no calls, no texts, no friends, no family. And your only social interaction is one 45 minute Zoom meeting. Per week. I doubt most people can even imagine that. Like... I don't even know how to catch others up on how much has even happened in that week in less than an hour, let alone talk about super important shit. And when all your social needs are condensed into one venue, it overwhelms people, it repels them. I swear, this shit is disastrous.

And I just feel really fucking lost and powerless. I don't know who I am. I don't know why I struggle so much with such simple things. I've been waiting for over 2 months to just... explore this possibility. And here I am.

My old therapist gave me the names of two places he could refer me to. Yeah, I know, after that tirade, right? Yeah. It'll make sense in a minute. There's a doctor in my area he can refer me to, but he doesn't know the guy personally. And... he can refer me to a Psychiatry place... that I used to go to 10 years ago. The place where my med problems all started. Where the floodgates were opened. And, being completely honest, just reading the name of that place just made me collapse in on myself. Like... wow... I'm literally exactly where I started. A fucking decade down the drain. For what?

Sounds like depression? Correct!

I'm tired. I'm tired of being tossed around for different people to study and pick apart and figure out what's broken in me and try to mold me into their ideal version of a human. I'm tired of trying so fucking --- I can't even let myself type it. Like I didn't even finish the thought and went "you could try fucking harder and you know it." Good lord. I'm so mean to myself. -_-

All of my life, all I've wanted was to make cool videos, or make cool music, or make cool art. For people. For friends. For people like me. For people who want to experience cool stuff. I want to share the interesting things I've learned, the unique perspective I have, the skills I've devoted countless hours to developing. I want to share my passions. And no one seems to want to share them. Not my friends, not my family, no one. No one even really seems to miss me when I'm not there. And that really just... it makes me feel... obsolete. It makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong. Like there's something wrong with me. Like I'm not trying hard enough. Like I'm not good enough, interesting enough, attractive enough, in shape enough, funny enough. Like I am not worth seeking out. Like my contributions, my perspective, my self, are easily replaceable.

And the only venue I can think of to go to in a hail mary for social connection is basically just becoming a cesspool of advertisements, corporate shills and carbon copy fad-chasers. And the audience isn't much better, and they all seem very satisfied with what they are consuming. And I miss my people, man. I miss my fucking people. Because Twitch isn't my fucking people anymore. Call of Duty hasn't been my people since like fucking 2009. Minecraft hasn't been my people since they sold out to Microsoft and rebranded to target microtransactions to children. I just... I don't really know where my people are. Or how to find them. And honestly, I'm not even really sure entirely who my people are anymore.

There are some skaters I get along with, but we're a ragtag bunch and there are a lot that I don't. There were a lot of gamers that I got along with, but gaming got so fucking big that like... the title "gamer" could mean anything from a retiree to a high school jock. I could try to connect with fellow artists, but I honestly don't know how or where.

I guess I'm just scared. Scared of rolling the dice, after looking around at my friend roster and realizing that not a single one of them really cared that much about me, they just cared about how they felt when they were around me. How I made them feel. How I would visit them, and entertained them, and listened to them, and inflated their ego. And the second I asked them to get involved in my life in a meaningful way? KABOOM. Screamed at. Like I just cussed out the Lord himself. Not even exaggerating. It's so surreal looking back at it, like... I never really though people actually acted that way in real life. Even in the moment, I was like... "what are they misunderstanding?" "They can't possibly believe this is too much to ask..."

So yeah, all of this, all this shitstorm that's pouring onto the page right now, that's been swirling around in my head like a poison soup all goddamn day. And I have no idea what to do about it. And frankly, I'm ready to just throw it on a shelf and say fuck the mental health, I just wanna make cool beads for right now. So let me catch you up on what I did today.

I measured out a bracelet mala. The number of beads is symbolic, I guess it's derived from Buddhism, but also Hinduism (which is more of a collection of belief systems than an actual religion). Typically they are multiples of 9, the standard is 108, which I'm guessing my necklace is. I decided to try 27 out, to see how that worked length-wise. I had to downsize it to smaller beads but the size worked decently, it's just weird because since the cordage isn't elastic... I need to have it be big enough to squeeze over my hand, but not big enough to fall off. And it does, it fits pretty well and doesn't fall off, it's just very loose fitting. From there, I did a test bead. I did a black basecoat and some very basic opaque pink line work over it. From there, I did 5 layers of Mod Podge in about 30 minute intervals. Then I sanded it, which I think I fucked up a little bit by not wet-sanding it, unfortunately. I don't know why, I just had it in my head that like... if I wet sanded... the glaze was going to dissolve or something. Like... it better not... XD But I used water very sparingly in the rough sanding and I think I paid for it. So next time I'm going to do a 600 grit instead of 400 and I'm going to make sure I wet sand. But even with the slip ups, I brought it to a nice buff shine and it looks pretty good, it looks like it could be plastic. I think that's going to work nicely.

The next thing I need to figure out, which was baking my noodle (thanks The Oracle for getting that stuck in my head since the 90's), was how to get these beads on some kind of thing that stably rotates. Like a lathe, but... for painting. So I can get nice symmetrical equatorial lines. I'm giving up on longitudinal lines, I'll wing that shit, but latitudinal symmetry makes a very big visual impact and I'd really like to get that figured out. So, in my head, I'm picturing some kind of mount to fit a wooden dowel into. The wooden dowel needs to be the right size for the holes in these beads, enough to snugly fit and hold them. Then the dowel sits in the mount and I can put a crank on the other end of the dowel. The crucial part of that is that the beads do not move. Or... I can just continue to freestyle it. Either way.

I'm tempted to take another trip to Michal's and see if they have any kind of contraption like this. It would make my life so much easier. To paint that bead, I had to wrap a piece of paper around an eyelet screw, put the screw in the vice, and then flip the bead when it was time to do the other side. It... wasn't the most convenient setup. All in all, though, I've had some decent results from these past 2 days of bead medium tests. I'm excited to see what this culminates to.

I have also had a project in mind for my mom. I think it might actually be a really thoughtful and helpful thing for her. I got a bunch of garnet beads for her christmas gift that... never really got made. Fights and all that. I had all the materials, but... I just... it's really hard to make a gift for someone who is fighting with you, you know? So... the beads and the centerpiece just kinda sat there for months. And her birthday came and went and all that. So... I was thinking of making a small mala with them, with the intention of passing it along with some documentation on what they are for. I want to try to use mine to experiment with mantra meditation, prayer and all that, which is very new to me. But she may find use from this in a very practical way through... grounding. Hell, maybe I need one deliberately intended for that as well. The intention is to have every bead represent a breath and to track your breathing exercise with it. So I was just thinking, maybe I should split it. Do 9 garnets, then a... something different, maybe a wooden bead, to mark an interval. Then repeat that twice, but the last one is a distinctly bigger one intended to signify the end of the cycle. They call that the guru bead. So you can do smaller breathing sequences with it too, not just the big 27 breath one, which might be a tall order in the middle of a heated conflict or a busy workday or something. Or at least it might seem like one. But 9 breaths? I think we can all make time for that. And the tactile nature of it lets you keep your eyes closed and know where you are, and if you want to do another 9? Just keep going. The intention is to use the tactile, maybe even smell association(I read people will douse the tassel in essential oil sometimes), to bring awareness back to the present moment. Especially in a moment of acute stress or panic, overwhelm, whatever it might be. To take a second, breathe, let the rest go for a minute until you get to the wooden bead, then choose how you want to go forward with a clear mind.

The more I talk about this, the more I am making myself aware that I need to practice this more as well. I'm sure it's going to be glaringly obvious to me when I read this back, too. (edit: It is.)

Before I wrap up, I should mention. Today was really hard for me emotionally. It was a such lonely day. And it's mine. The most loneliest day of my liiiiiife. (sorry) I don't know about downstairs, because I can't hear them - though they can probably hear me, sorry... - but all of my other neighbors are couples. From about 5:30 on, I had happy couples in fuckin surround sound. And here I am. More alone than I've ever been. It just sucked. I even made cookies and it didn't make it better. So yeah. Just...

I've had like... maybe two decent Valentine's Days my entire life. I've had maybe 5 Valentine's Days where I was actually in a relationship in my life. And I'm a romantic. And, to be blunt, the women who received my generous romance, they didn't deserve it. And they didn't appreciate it. And they sorta... planted seeds in my head that it wasn't worth being romantic in those ways, that it will be undervalued and unappreciated. I'm really sad that I let myself walk away from those gestures. But I'm really glad that I'm no longer there. Because once I find my partner, they're going to get the most thoughtful, kind, loving gestures from me, with no reservations. Because if I feel I need to hold back those expressions, I must learn from my past relationships and really try to understand why. Why would I not want to shower them with my genuine affection? Because others took advantage of it, and didn't even want it? Or is it because I feel like my partner won't believe it's genuine? Or that they will reject it or find it overbearing? If those are the case, I'd need to address those immediately, because it might be incompatibility.

Good lord, even my fictional relationships are dysfunctional! <head in hands>

I need to find a good place to meet people like me, where I will feel comfortable and not utterly overwhelmed. I thought the internet was going to help with that, but it's changed so much over the past 5+ years. I don't know where the real people are anymore. So... I might have to just give up on that and brave the real world. Which seems more likely to bring me a solid connection in my life: a yoga studio, a weird witchcraft store, a zen center, a board game shop, a small coffee shop? I honestly don't know. But one of these days coming up, I'm going to try one. I mean it. I just need to cultivate the confidence, because my confidence meter is like an imperceptible sliver right now.

Good vibes to end on? I've been playing Rimworld offline. I haven't really let myself enjoy it because of that but... the main character got married, which made me really happy. I went to get my cookies out of the oven and the game is on No Pause Challenge, so it was just running without me, and I came back and Lissandra and Slick were getting married! It made me so happy. They both worked night shift together, it's how they met. She's a sanguophage, the revered holy leader of the colony, and he was a young former criminal refugee, who she has now given the gift of immortality. So basically, the high priestess and the janitor became lovers because he was a night owl and she's a vampire. So... I guess he won the jackpot as far as climbing the social ladder goes! They seem really happy together so far, and I'm very curious to see if they naturally try for kids or not (I'm very new to the new DLC mechanics) and whether the sanguophage (vampire) gene can be passed on through birth or only through gene conversion. I did lose my other starter colonist, Omni, she was such an amazing soul. She was a level 18 builder with a 12+ specialization in architecture, and... for a tribal... that's really goddamn impressive. It was a very painful loss. She got jacked by a cheetah doing field work, no one could get to her in time. It sucked. A lot. But, that's life, and we move on. Lissandra will plan a ceremony for her soon. And I quit right after getting an insane raid that did a shit ton of damage so my colonists are going to have a lot of cleaning up and mourning to do tomorrow. I chose to do Rimworld again because it's a game I can actually have play itself in the background while I do art. Not a lot of games work like that.

Alright, bed. Here's hoping for an easier day tomorrow. Maybe I can even get out into nature? Or to Michael's? We'll see.

#diary #journal #online journal #stream of consciousness #stream of thoughts

[stackofstories]

Nico drowned.

Nico reached out in the icy depths unable to summon the strength to push his legs and arms forward. Absolute terror engulfed him. Bianca, help!

He was filled with water.

Black edged Nico's vision. Distantly, his ears rang. He recognized it as the knell of his own death. Small bubbles rose as he descended.

If drowning wasn't already on his list of the suckiest things to currently happen to him, Nico spotted a dark shadow in the water zipping toward him. His eyes widened when he saw a mouthful of large, razor-sharp teeth, and beady bloodthirsty eyes glossed over in terrifying ebony.

A shark!

It lunged toward him.

More air bubbles escaped Nico. There was nowhere to dodge. He crossed his arms in front of him. No! Please don't eat me! he thought frantically just as the shark sank its powerful teeth into his left side.

Pain, unbelievable pain coursed through him. Nico let out a soundless scream. More water rushed inside of him filling him until there was nothing but seawater and pain. The awful ringing in his ears grew louder. He wanted to escape and go where there was no more pain.

Nico knew only darkness, and then nothing.

Nothing didn't last long.

In what felt like the next moment, Nico inhaled once and shot up. He twisted in half circles to the left and right, expecting to be adrift in the sea and to see his sister's scowling face and her dark wet curls clinging to her forehead. Instead, he was greeted to the sight of a kid. They were a boy or girl, he wasn't too sure, with long blond hair and two ivory, bull horns curving out the sides of their head, they wore small pink hoop earrings(1). If that wasn't strange enough, their mouth was wide open in what looked like a permanent state of surprise. Nico saw two rows of triangle teeth stained in red. A trail of ruby dripped down their lips drizzling onto their shirt and pink shorts.

Nico swallowed. He looked down. Part of his shirt and aviator jacket were torn away. Blood gushed from his wound. Gently, he reached down and touched. He winced at the needles of pain pushing through his skin as he traced over each bleeding crescent indentation. He wasn't missing his entire left side so he was grateful for the small miracles.

"You bit me!" Nico accused. He knit his brow. "That's disgusting and rude! Were you raised by wolves?"

"I'm half-fishman and you made a big splash," they said with a dismissive shrug. "How'd you do that thing with the shadows? We were in the ocean. Now, we're on land. How did you do that? Giolla says devil fruit users can't use the powers underwater. They're despised by the sea."

"I don't have any powers. At least, I don't think I have any powers," Nico said. He hadn't been claimed yet. Grover said it would be soon. "What's a fishman? That wasn't in the orientation video."

The blond kid wiped their mouth with the back of their hand. They stood up. Nico raised an eyebrow when he saw their pink mary janes. "I think I better take you to Doflamingo."

Nico blinked and he was still. He realized two things.

He was alone and this was not an attic.

Before being bitten, before the darkness, before the drowning, he had been in an attic and he saw a real treasure chest. Inside the treasure chest, there had been a single fruit and he had taken a bite because he was curious and hungry.

"Bianca isn't going to be happy if I meet a flamingo without her permission."

The kid giggled in a high-pitched fashion. Nico managed a trembling smile of his own.

He tried to get to his feet and he quickly discovered that was a terrible idea. At this moment, his limbs weighed two tons each. There was no moving.

"We have to go now. I can't miss dinnertime with the Family. Baby Five is planning to kill Doffy because he killed her fourth boyfriend. I don't understand why she keeps getting boyfriends. She has to know Doffy is just going to kill them. She's so stupid sometimes. "

"Some other time," Nico tried. "I have to meet my sister and Grover. They're waiting for me right now. Please." He wasn't able to run the other direction, but he could scoot. He scooted his boot back. His hands and feet made little depressions on the ground.

"It won't be bad. I think you'll have a real chance to join the Family, unlike the others. It's so funny." The kid covered their mouth with their hand, though it did little good. Nico saw their lips still curled up in a cruel smile. "Doffy doesn't like any of them, especially the new one—Bellamy."

"I can't," Nico rejected. "I already have a family."

The blond just laughed and shot in front of him with a murderous gleam in their eyes. Yelping, Nico flinched back and fell to the soft ground. Sand, he recognized.

"Go away!" Nico shouted. "I don't want to see your homicidal flamingo or Baby Five! I don't want to join your family of villains! You all sound like you belong in an asylum."

Nico wasn't entirely sure if that was a fair assumption to make, but it felt good to say. With his shout, the ground underneath them shook. The blond paused for a split second. Nico read confusion in their dark eyes.

"Did you do that?" they asked. "I thought only Whitebeard…" he trailed off. "I can't let you slip through my fingers. If I turn you in, Doffy will let me fight in the Colosseum."

They reached to grab him and Nico squeezed his eyes shut.

"Leave him alone!"

Nico opened his eyes to see a toy soldier come out of nowhere and slam headfirst into the blond kid.

The blond kid was knocked sideways. They got up quickly. Their black eyes turned a ruby red. "A Toy!" he hissed. "Sugar says no toy can harm a human and they must obey the Family! I command you to stop!"

In front of Nico, there was a toy soldier about the same height as Nico while sitting on his bottom. The toy soldier wore a large, glossy top hat like Abraham Lincoln and held a long white-painted bayonet in his hands. Nico wanted to touch the giant yellow windup on its back.

"Um." Nico looked between the half-fishman and toy soldier. "What."

"Sit tight," the Toy Soldier said and Nico's eyes nearly popped out his sockets. "You can talk!"

"Of course," Toy Soldier said, his mouth opened and his blue painted eyes did not blink. "I heard your cry of help and I came to save you. I should have known it would come from someone being harassed by the Donquixote Family. It is unfortunate, my opponent is so young."

"You'll pay for that!" the blonde kid growled. They lifted their leg to point their heel at the Toy Soldier. "I'll smash your wooden head in!" They darted forward.

Toy Soldier met them in the middle.

Surprise quickly turned into awe. In two short moves, Toy Soldier used his bayonet and sent the kid flying through the air into a crumpled heap. Nico winced in sympathy when he saw the kid in a sad, unmoving pile just a few feet away from him.

"Don't worry about the young fishman," Toy Soldier said as he put a cold wooden hand on Nico's shoulder, "I only knocked him out, but he'll wake up soon and go running to his family. We have to go now. I can't fight them and protect you at the same time. "

"He?" Nico asked. "They were a he?"

Toy Soldier opened his mouth and his eyes seemed to widen. "Dellinger is part fishman though I can't be certain of the gender expression Dellinger feels most comfortable with. At any rate, we must go."

Nico nodded, then flushed red. "I can't stand up."

Toy Soldier slipped his bayonet on his back and Nico was gently scooped up off the ground.

"Whoa—hey!" Nico said, flushing further. "You're just a toy. How can you be this strong?"

"You're bleeding." Toy Soldier paid no attention to his surprise, instead he was held closer. "Don't move so much."

Nico listened. Arguing took energy. Nico had only enough energy to not fall asleep in the Toy Soldier's cold arms. He conserved the last bit of energy for the essentials like breathing and not freaking out. The freakout would come later. So, he settled down for the ride.

The ride wasn't the smoothest.

"What happened to your other leg?" Nico asked.

Almost immediately he regretted the question. If Bianca were here, he knew she would have jabbed him in the ribs for being so rude.

Toy Soldier hopped up and down on a yellow-brick road. For a whole minute, Nico accepted that Toy Soldier didn't want to answer the question.

"I failed to protect those I loved." Toy Soldier's deep voice cracked. He sounded like he was on the edge of tears.

Nico kept his mouth shut after that. It was a solid hour of mildly uncomfortable hopping. The scenery changed from the beaches to the green hills and acres of tall sunflowers, and then, a brightly colored town. In the far distance, he noticed a tall stone column. If he squinted hard he saw a visage of a tiny building atop the tall column. Toy Soldier didn't bring him into the center of the town where Nico glimpsed at the people and toys coexisting. He and Toy Soldier kept to the edges of the town twisting into back alleys where the bright colors of the buildings were exchanged for somber greys and blacks.

If this were anyone else Nico might have been scared, but he felt an implicit trust for the Toy Soldier that saved him from the fishman kid.

Toy Soldier brought him to an area that looked half-burnt and mostly empty. There were a few children covered in dirt playing with a ball fashioned out of old rags and twine. They blinked curiously at them but otherwise were focused on their game. Toy Soldier brought him to a small coral colored house. In a feat of strength, Toy Soldier passed him to one arm and opened the door with the other.

"Rebecca, get the whiskey and bring out some rags," Toy Soldier said sternly as he entered the home.

A pink-haired girl, younger than Nico, but around the same age as Dellinger pushed back her wooden chair and jumped down. She ran to them, and then, braked. Her pink eyebrows rose and her kind brown eyes glanced between him and Toy Soldier.

Nico waved awkwardly. "I'm Nico."

"You look like death." Rebecca turned around and hurried to do as she was bid.

That stung. However, it wasn't the first time someone attributed death to him. Bianca told him he slept like the dead too.

Toy Soldier placed him on the bed and Nico hissed as the roughspun covers brushed against his skin. Toy Soldier flushed red and bent in an awkward way, clapping his hands. "Don't focus on the pain. Focus on me!" Toy Soldier bent this way and that. "Toys are supposed to make children happy not sad."

Nico laughed.

"Oh! Oh! Oh! Am I funny?"

Nico nodded at Toy Soldier with a bright grin. To Nico, Toy Soldier was the embodiment of Dad Jokes. Not funny, but he made Nico forget about the tension all the same with his cringey behavior.

Nico watched Toy Soldier bend himself into all types of shapes that would make the world's best gymnast jealous. Rebecca came over with a large jug and multicolored clothes under her arm. Suddenly, all the humor in Nico spilled out. Toy Soldier gestured to the whiskey bottle and left Rebecca to hold the towels.

Rebecca put the towels on the edge of the bed. She helped him undress. There was some blushing involved on Nico's part because a girl that wasn't his sister was touching him and looking at him in a state of undress. Well, it was close to a state of undress, if his arms weren't so heavy he would have crossed them over his chest. Rebecca stood aside and let Toy Soldier take her position. The whiskey bottle in Toy Soldier's hand was thrust in front of him.

Nico swallowed.

"It's going to sting," Toy Soldier warned as he uncorked the bottle. "Be brave."

Wait. What was going to sting?

Then, a bright burning. Nico seized and howled as Toy Soldier poured the brown liquid all over the bite. The sound of his heart was loud in Nico's ears, he gnashed his teeth and he curled his fingers into fists as Toy Soldier kept pouring and pouring for what felt like an eternity.

Finally, Toy Soldier pulled back and Nico was left with fire in his veins.

"I'm going to wipe it clean now," Rebecca said.

As soft as her voice, Rebecca wiped his side down in small sections. It didn't soothe the fire swirling inside of him, but it did calm him down until Nico laid back down on the bed. He reached up and touched the sweat on his brow. "All clean."

"I apologize for putting you through that, Nico," Toy Soldier said as he took his turn inspecting the bite, "but I have known a great many warriors die from a little cut if it wasn't cleaned. I think you'll survive. Good job!"

Nico nodded. He understood, but he wasn't quite ready to accept the apology. It still hurt. At least, Toy Soldier and Rebecca didn't mention anything about stitches.

"Do you need help with dinner?" Toy Soldier turned to Rebecca. He placed a hand on her elbow and Rebecca shook her head.

"All right. I'll change the sheets now before I go." Toy Soldier nodded. He set his bayonet down on the wooden bedpost.

Go where? Nico wondered what Toy Soldier meant by that, but he wasn't about to open his mouth and ask more rude questions. "I'm sorry to bring Nico here without any notification. We'll sort him out tomorrow if you're fine with him staying the night."

Rebecca nodded. "I'm glad to have someone. It won't be so lonely when Toy Soldier leaves."

Toy Soldier bent his head. "Rebecca," he sighed, then perked. "Toys are supposed to make children happy. I shall try to make you two very happy before I leave."

On his one leg, Toy Soldier made several circles and bowed. Nico and Rebecca shared a single glance before they burst into a round of applause.

"Toy Soldier is lucky I did the laundry today," Rebecca playfully chided.

Nico was moved to the small table in the middle of the room. Far from complaining, he was happy to observe Toy Soldier and Rebecca work together. They were a dynamic team. It was clear the two were extremely comfortable together. Nico wondered what their relationship was. Perhaps, Toy Soldier had been given to Rebecca by a parent.

Nico blinked. He had yet to meet an adult. He saw them as Toy Soldier zipped past the bustling city center, but was there no older adult in this home that took responsibility? Toy Soldier acted sort of like a parent to him, and even more so toward Rebecca, but he was certain that Rebecca was human. Where were Rebecca's parents?

That was a question Nico knew not to ask. In Westover, that was the question that always annoyed him the most. Most of the kids in Westover had parents in the military or parents in higher up government positions. Sure, the kids there didn't see their parents often, but their parents sent them letters and presents on their birthdays, called them on the phone, visited on special weekends or dances. It was quickly known that he and Bianca didn't have that. They were the orphans of Westover Academy only there as a charity case. Never mind that they weren't actually orphans. He and his sister had a father. Sure, their father was an absent father (who was actually a god), but Nico didn't argue with the mean kids at Westover over that point. He preferred being an orphan over a bastard.

"It's sundown," Rebecca said. She pointed to the only window in the tiny house. It was sundown. Nico was a little surprised by how quickly time passed.

"It is. I have to go." Toy Soldier smoothed the nonexistent creases out of the bedspread and fluffed the pillows once more. He hopped to the door. "We will talk early tomorrow morning before I go to work, Nico. We'll see if we can get you to your parents. Rebecca—"

"Right here." Rebecca was at the door. She opened her arms and gave Toy Soldier a hug. "I'll see you tomorrow too, and I will lock the door behind you."

"Yes, always remember to lock the door after I leave. I'll—"

"Leave a petal—"

"Two petals, one for you and one for Nico, on the windowsill. Goodnight, Rebecca."

Toy Soldier left. The door shut behind him firmly, and Nico heard the sound of his hopping outside of the window. He listened until he could not. Rebecca reached on her tippy toes and locked the door as she said. She turned to him with a bright smile.

"Hungry? We have stew."

Nico's stomach growled.

Rebecca was the most responsible little kid he had ever seen. In quick order, she balanced two full bowls and cups to their little table. She gave him his dinner first, then sat across from him with a wide grin. She dug in. Nico was a little more hesitant.

"You're not from around here," Rebecca said.

Nico raised an eyebrow. "What makes you say that?"

She gave him a dubious look.

"Ok, I'm not from around here."

Rebecca hummed.

"Where is here?" Nico asked stirring his stew.

"Dressrosa."

"Dress Robes?"

"Dressrosa," Rebecca repeated slowly. "It's an island in the New World. Where are you from? Paradise?"

Nico blinked. Dressrosa was in the New World. He had heard of the New World before in social studies. It was part of the lands and oceans that Christopher Columbus came across when he went the wrong way to get to India.

"Venice. It's in Italy." Nico tried some of the stew. Once he ate one bite, another followed. He pushed some food to the side of his cheek creating a little pouch. "And then, we moved to D.C., but before that, I think we stayed at another place. We came back to D.C. I think. I can't remember..." Nico scrunched his face. It always made his head hurt when he thought about it for too long. "But, I was in Maine for school, then New York City for, um, camp, and now I'm here. In Dressrosa."

"Wow, I can't believe you lived on all of those islands. I thought only marines and pirates traveled that much," Rebecca said. "What sea are you from?"

"The Adriatic and Atlantic."

Rebecca's eye twitched. "There are only four seas in the world." She sounded like she wanted to say duh, you big dummy. "The North Blue, East Blue, West Blue, and South Blue. The New World has the West and North Blue."

"Oh," Nico said in a small voice.

"You really aren't from here."

"Yeah." Nico saw that clear as day, a sinking feeling started in the pit of his stomach.

Rebecca glanced at her bowl. The subject dropped.

"Where did Toy Soldier go?" Nico asked.

If possible Rebecca looked even more uncomfortable.

"All toys have to go to the Toy House before midnight. King Doflamingo's rules."

"A flamingo is king here?" Rebecca giggled with Nico's shock, and then stopped when Nico added, "Dellinger said the same thing."

"Doflamingo is no flamingo though he wears an incredibly ugly coat of pink feathers." Rebecca stuck her tongue out. "He's the King of Dressrosa and the captain of the Donquixote Pirates. Dellinger is part of the Donquixote Pirates."

"Really? I didn't know pirates let babies in."

Rebecca sniffed, "A baby that was strong enough to kick your butt. You're lucky Dellinger is pretty weak compared to the rest of the family. If you ran into Diamante, you'd be dead. He's a real monster."

Nico hummed. "It sounds like you know a lot about the Donquixote Pirates."

Rebecca blinked at him three times, each time, her eyes grew more glossy and her bottom lip wobbled. Nico had really stuck his foot in it, again. She scrubbed her eyes and kept eating. Nico did the same.

#you should see me in a crown #chapter two #one piece x pjo crossover #nico di angelo is a pirate #nico di angelo #dellinger one piece #toy soldier #rebecca one piece #spacing is weird #I have like two versions on my blog haha #this is the official version #dressrosa

[lorz-ix]

A short and sweet video I wanted to share with people because I think it portrays a sentiment and a conclusion that really resonated with me. If 7 minutes is too much, at least skip to the final chapter at the 6 minute mark.

A couple of things: we could talk about consumerism, how collecting sometimes devolves into spending more and more money trying to chase a high that you can't get anymore, how these things can cost a lot of money just to get one item. But that's just being a party pooper, because the point I'm trying to make hopefully is unrelated to specific "buying this thing from my childhood that's unreasonably expensive now".

I really liked the "life wasn't better back then because the world was a better place, it was only that way because being a kid is simple" message at the end. As kids, everything is new and so it blows our minds, because we're constantly discovering things, and it's not easy to get that sort of feeling as we grow older. But I think it's important to stay in touch with our inner child, and to remember how to have unapologetically childish joy and glee for the little things in life every now and then. Growing up doesn't mean you can't enjoy things anymore.

I'm going through a bit of a "rediscovering toys and games from when I was a kid" phase, fully allowing myself to be fascinated by the simplest and smallest things. I'm really obsessed with those tiny playsets from the 90s and early 2000s that have tons of little details crammed in. Absolutely losing my mind at how many play features this original Space Jam thingy had. You can shoot hoops and recreate several scenes from the movie. I know I had it, I hope I can find it at my parents' place.

Similarly, I am a bit of a board game enjoyer, and one of my childish preferences is seeing games with tons of moving pieces, miniatures, dice and cards. But sometimes you have to leave aside all these high strategy games and call your mates to have a few rounds of the tumblin' monkeys game. These "physical skill with some luck" games for kids might be the most fun you've had in months. Again, it's good to know how to enjoy the small, simple things, especially if you're sharing them with someone special.

To reiterate, you don't need to hop on ebay and spend 200 dollars for something you were never allowed to have as a kid. Not everything needs to be about closing a chapter in your life from a decade ago. Sometimes going through your box of old toys and games is enough to have a grand old time, and perhaps learn how to notice new little things that you hadn't discovered yet.

#what tags do I even put in this #childhood #??? idk

[noodle-fc]

I have been misled

Chrome adblocking stopped working, as Tumblr warned me would happen. I am switching back to Firefox. I like the privacy-focused ethos. uBlock Origin has blocked ads flawlessly. Page rendering is noticeably faster.

Just about everything else has been horrible. If you are considering the switch, do not expect a smooth transition. I am constantly irritated and sometimes downright angry at the hoops I have to jump through to achieve basic functionality. I've been working for hours to get back what I had with Chrome, and I have only scratched the surface. I have had tension headaches. Seemingly at every turn, it doesn't do what I expect, and every time I know there will be another headache.

To give you just one example: I opened a YouTube video full-screen on my second display and Firefox broke my operating system. I could not browse or navigate tabs in the Firefox window on my main display. I could not switch to other applications with the mouse. The menu bar and the dock disappeared. Yes, that's right, Firefox broke the two primary user interface elements of MacOS because I made a YouTube video bigger.

To fix this, I had to a) identify for myself why this happened (Firefox doesn't use native full-screen function—WHY?); b) search the web for a solution; c) change under-the-hood, arcane settings despite an explicit warning from Firefox that doing so could be dangerous. And that was a quick and easy fix by comparison to the dozen other issues I have—largely because the solution was to undo a Firefox fuckup.

You guys, this process is so bad. It's not sub-optimal, it's not kinda annoying. It's bad. I'm a spoonie, and I need my energy for other things. Even after already sinking many spoons into Firefox, I have so little hope that I'll end up entirely satisfied that I am looking for other options. I thought Opera might be better, but it uses Chromium rendering and is owned by some possibly-shady Chinese investor group. I really do not want to be walled into Apple's garden, but if it lets me get on with my life, Safari might be worth it.

If someone fixed ad-blocking on Chrome I would switch back in a heartbeat, despite Google's anti-competitive and user-hostile behavior, despite the privacy invasion, despite their attack on open Web standards. I care about all of those things, but not to the point of causing myself literal physical pain. I'm probably going to continue primarily using Chrome—and be exposed to the Hell of an un-adblocked Web—until I can (hopefully!) make Firefox (mostly) usable a little bit at a time. I have an alternate Chrome profile I don't use as frequently and I expect I will continue to use that—with attendant Hell-Web exposure—forever. I can't begin to imagine I'd want to go through another migration.

When Chrome came out, it did exactly what it promised: fast browsing and cool features with no bloat right out of the box. And switching was painlessly easy. Even with the ads and the privacy issues, I would recommend to casual Web users that they use Chrome. Not in a thousand years would I suggest that my elderly mother try Firefox, and that's really frustrating, especially when you consider that Mozilla has had more than a decade to make Firefox as attractive an alternative as Chrome was all those years ago.

#Mozilla Firefox #Google Chrome #user interface #user experience #rant #this is way longer than I expected #and believe me I could go on at extreme length #probably expect more venting in the future #sorry in advance

[sadlysoulx]

[1:13am]—Pulling them by their belts/ties to kiss them

Characters» Daichi, Ushijima, Kuroo

Trope/plot» you pull them by their belt/ties to kiss them

Warning» fluff to have cavities, a swear word or two? that's all I guess, let me know if there's more. DON'T IGNORE WARNINGS.

Note» hi :) Christmas is almost near but why do I feel not excited at all :(

—Daichi

You watched as your boyfriend puts in his belt through his belt hoops.

Being a person who is on their phone all the time, reading some fanfics, you already have a lot of ideas to make someone be flustered.

He smiled as he sees you waiting by the gym doors. Daichi, who was just freshly showered after practice, immediately hugs you tightly. You took a huge huff of his deodorant and soap, making you feel home.

"Hey," his deep voice sent shivers down your spine.

You smiled. It's frustrating— in a good way— how he can throw you over heels with just a single word.

"Hey," you said back.

No words were exchanged instead the two of you looked into each other's eyes, falling in love with one another once again.

"Do you want me to walk you home?" He started. "If you want, there's a convenience store we can stop by—"

He was suddenly tugged forward and he looks down to see a finger hooked around his school belt. Flushing red, he looks up to you.

"Fuck baby, you'll be the death of me," Daichi says before kissing you passionately in your lips.

—Ushjima

"'Toshi, are you even listening?" You asked raising an eyebrow, slight annoyance in your tone.

Ushijima looks up at you before returning his gaze to his phone, a volleyball video playing. "I'm sorry, my love, just a few minutes,"

"But it's 5:45 right now!" You huffed, pointing dramatically at the clock across. "A few more minutes and it will be your practice, all we did is stand here near the lockers like some idiot while you watch that video,"

Ushijima looks up at the clock once he hears your words, eyes widening slightly, he puts his phone in his pocket.

"You're right my love," He took out his sports bag from the locker he's leaning on. "I have to go to the practice,"

He was about to walk away when he was forced forward, almost tumbling and falling on you. From his peripheral vision, he sees you holding on to his belt loops.

"You're not going anywhere, baby boy," You narrowed your eyes. "Not until you spend at least a minute with me,"

Ushjima softened and gave a small smile. He turned around and pushed you onto his locker before showering you with his soft kisses.

—Kuroo

If there was one thing that this man couldn't do is to make his tie.

He have to get his father to do it for him because he just can't. Even Kenma gave up on making it for him and insisted on learning how to do it themselves.

Kuroo looks down at the red tie in his hands, confusion painted all over his face.

"I swear this is the last time I would ask for your help, Kenma,"

The boy looked up from his psp and then rolling his eyes. "You said that last year. Until now,you can't make it yourself, you're such a baby,"

The blonde turned and walked away, leaving Kuroo behind, barking at him.

This man decided to tie into a bow and once he passed you in the hall, you snickered.

"Come here, Tetsu," You beckoned h over to your locker, in which the Captain happily skips to you.

You put your things in the locker before turning to him. "You're making the others think you're a walking joke,"

Kenma who had followed Kuroo to tease him, gave you a small smile.

"Atleast you know that Y/N-san,"

"Kenma!"

You reached over to the tie he made into a bow, grabbed it and pulled it down, making Kuroo bend to your level.

You untied it and began correctly tying it, ignoring Kuroo's intense stare at you. Once you were done, you looked up at your boyfriend's blushing face.

"Please kiss me," he whispered. Kenma almost dropped his play station.

You laughed, patting his chest to let him know you're done and then walked backwards.

"Not until you know how to tie that yourself,"

That night he searched up atleast 34 videos on how to tie a tie. It was worth it, he got a promised kiss from you.

Follow my Wattpad

#haikyuu!! #haikyuu imagines #anime #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x self insert #haikyuu #fanfic #ushijima imagine #ushjima wakatoshi #ushijima x reader #ushijima icons #ushijima wakatoshi x reader #ushijima fluff #ushijima x y/n #ushijima x you #daichi #daichi x reader #sawamura daichi #daichi hcs #daichi fluff #daichi scenario #kuroo fanfic #hq kuroo #kuroo x reader #kuroo tetsuro x reader #kuroo fluff #kuroo headcanons #kuroo x you #kuroo x y/n #gn!reader

[barnesbabee]

collab || J.Y

ᴋɪɴᴋᴛᴏʙᴇʀ ᴅᴀʏ 2 - ᴋɪɴᴋᴛᴏʙᴇʀ ᴍ.ʟɪꜱᴛ

Summary: Two famous porn stars have a fun collab together.

Pairing: Jeong Yunho x gn!reader

Words: Just enough

⚠ although there is no mention of gender, the reader wears makeup and lingerie, so if you are uncomfortable with that, don't read  ⚠

As Yunho dried his hair with a small towel, he heard the familiar ding sound from his social media. He had just finished uploading the edited version of his live stream, so it wasn't unusual for him to be contacted by a bunch of people right after, however, he didn't expect to see you.

You weren't well known in the porn scenario, as you were fairly new and the competition was vast, but your 'Around The World' series had become a huge success and a major hit for its originality.

Yunho was quite a fan of the series, so when he saw your message, his fingers were crossed.

Y/N: Hello! My name is Y/N, I'm not sure if you know my work, but I am a porn star that is currently doing a series called 'Around The World' where I... well, fuck people all around the world. My next stop is South Korea and I have seen your work before and I think our style is very similar and I would love to do a collab with you! Feel free to check out my work on my page, I hope to hear from you soon! xoxo

The tall man squealed like a high schooler getting a text from his crush, he's always wanted a collab and now he was about to get one in one of the biggest series of the moment!

Yunhxxx: Hello Y/N! I am aware of your series and I am a fan! I would love to do the collab with you! I'll send you my number so we can talk about the details more comfortably :)

Part of your anxiousness died down at his response. Most porn stars were very polite and kind in front of the camera, and in business discussion, all for that quick buck, but you'd find, with your series, that a lot of them were just assholes with a huge ego. You had a good feeling about Yunho, but you didn't want to get your hopes up and then be disappointed.

The arrangements didn't take long, as you were both excited for the collab to happen, making it very easy to communicate. Yunho was kind enough to offer his own home for you to sleep in, arguing that 'whoever fucks me gets to sleep in my house for free'.

Yunho spent the weekend preparing everything for your arrival on Monday morning: he cleaned his whole house, stocked his fridge and cabinets with all sorts of food, and sanitized every toy of his. By the time he received your 'I'm on my way!' text, his house was the cleanest it had ever been.

The man showered, put on his best cologne, and applied some dark eyeshadow under his eyes. As he stood in front of the closet in his briefs only, he wondered what he should go for. A sophisticated look? A sexy look? An outlaw-looking look? He wanted something to get you immediately attracted to him. Yunho wanted to make you feel good, not to make you act as if you felt good.

Ultimately he chose a black button-up and black suit pants. He decorated his long fingers (that he had come to learn was something many people liked about him) and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt.

Yunho was aware of his innocent appearance. He had had his cheeks squeezed one too many times, so he caught on quickly. However, the man loved to play with his looks. He loved to make people wonder what kind of person he was, with a cute face, yet an intimidating look.

Before he knew it, his doorbell rang. Yunho took one last look in the mirror, just to make sure everything was in its place and walked towards the door. The first hello wasn't awkward at all, as you'd already had a few zoom calls to discuss what would happen in your collab, just to make sure there were no misunderstandings.

Once you stepped in with your suitcase, you couldn't help but notice how neat, modern, and well decorated his house was. The walls were white with big windows, and the furniture was a mix of grey, light blue, and white. Yunho lead you to the guest room where you'd be staying, and it was a lot nicer than you expected. The bed was high and large, the duvet was grey with a bunch of fluffy white and red pillows decorating it. In front of the bed was a modern black vanity with lightbulbs around the squared mirror, and against the wall in front of the door was a black, sliding door wardrobe, with a large, orange, and red abstract painting of a couple. His house looked simple yet classy, with just the right amount of colour and decoration. You took a look at him, his dark look contrasting the house.

"You already got prepared?"

Yunho looked a little puzzled for a second, but then understood. "Oh! Oh no, you've just arrived, you must be tired! This is just... how I dress?" He said, feeling a little embarrassed.

You took a good look at his outfit.

"You always dress like that? Wow..."

Yunho's cheeks became a little red at the comment, and he stumbled over his words as he thanked you. He was used to receiving compliments when he had his clothes off, but with clothes on? Not so much... Before closing the door, Yunho told you to feel at home, and that when you were ready you could start setting everything up in the room he used to shoot.

The man had never felt that nervous, so when he finally closed the door, he immediately headed to his living room, and found the whiskey bottle he kept for emergencies. He poured a generous glass and sat on the couch, scrolling through his phone as he waited for you.

You were pretty much used to the routine, and since you had a stopover in a neighboring country and spent the night there, the trip hadn't been too tiring. You sat on the very convenient vanity and re-did your makeup. You liked to match your look to your type of content, so you went for a dark look: dark purple lipstick, a heavy, black smokey eye, and loads of mascara. You made sure to apply a lot, so it would run down your face and give the viewers the fucked out look they loved to see.

The lingerie matched your makeup: black lace lingerie with some bling here and there, and a garter belt to accessorize. You grabbed your robe from your suitcase and exited the room.

"Yunho?" You called, peeking your head from behind the wall.

"Hm?"

His eyes widened when he looked up. You were completely different from the person he had met.

"I am ready if you are!"

He nodded and stood up, downing the rest of his 2nd whiskey cup in one go. Yunho took you upstairs and opened the door to his 'studio'.

In the center of the room was a carpet, and a big, empty space behind it.

"I usually move the bed or the couch over there, depending on what I want to do that day. I found that it was easier to move the furniture than the whole set up." He explained, pointing at the empty space.

Against the wall, opposite of you, there was a bed, much like the one on your bedroom, and a nice, black leather couch. Beside you there was a closet, where Yunho kept all his toys, accessories, and streaming outfits. Other than that it was just the usual setup: a desk with a computer, professional lights, and a camera.

Yunho walked over to the couch and moved it with ease to the empty space.

"So we've already decided?" You asked.

The man smirked as if simply entering the room turned him into a completely different person.

"I already have everything planned out for you dear, it would be rude to have my guests work."

You blushed slightly, and sat on the couch, waiting for the green light.

You watched as he opened the closet, displaying his wide collection. He picked a bunch of stuff that he set on top of a towel on the floor.

"Alright, that's about it."

You cocked your head to the side, in confusion.

"You're not getting dressed?"

Yunho reached for the choker he had brought and softly placed it around your neck, tying it just tight enough. He hooked his finger on the big metal ring on the front and tugged on it. You followed his silent command and knelt on the ground, in front of the couch.

"I'm already dressed, for the concept we're gonna try."

You were getting curious and excited. You stayed still as he started up the live stream. Yunho turned on the lights, set up the camera, and pressed 'Start Live Video'. The screen counted down from five, until the live started.

Yunho sat on the couch behind you, and placed his large hand on your head.

The man smirked as soon as the comments started raining.

There was a mixture of fuck yeah's and happy cheers as they recognized Yunho, and became excited for what was to come. The live was obviously happening on your account, although you would always split the tips with the person you worked with.

"Hello," Yunho started, and you let him take the lead "welcome to the 24th edition of Around The World, I am today's guest, and we have such a great show for you today, don't we?"

Yunho tugged on your hair, making you wince. You looked at the camera and nodded.

The 30 dollar donation ding sounded, announcing that someone had made a request.

'Make her sit on your thigh'

You let Yunho take the lead once more, hooking his finger on your choker's hoop and pulling you up, to sit on his thigh. You hummed as you rolled your hips, causing friction between your core and his thigh. Your hand ran along his torso, feeling the fabric of his shirt.

"He has too many clothes, don't you think?" You asked the camera, in a flirty tone.

There was a rain of comments agreeing with you, and you immediately got to work, unbuttoning his shirt slowly. His dick print was already very visible in his pants, and you could now understand why he wanted to wear that look.

You removed his shirt, slowly and teasingly, as the viewers praised Yunho's toned body.

The male hooked his finger on your underwear and snapped it against your skin. Your little whimper at the sudden pain made him smirk.

Yunho ran his hands along your body, making you shiver from the cold metal of his rings.

Tips and donations rained down with many requests, and so you went back on the floor and laid your head on Yunho's thigh, your face mere inches away from his hard-on. You perked your ass up and traced the shape of his cock with your finger.

"What do you think? Should we reward them?" Yunho asked, petting your head as he stared into the camera.

As expected, everyone gave you the green light to continue, so you slowly opened his fly, to find he had no underwear on. You freed him from his pants, gripping his length in your hand. You kept eye contact with the male, and although you were a professional, you were always nervous when you had to take dicks on the bigger side.

You spat on his tip, and played with his cock for a second, before slowly inserting it in your mouth. Yunho groaned and threw his head back, taking in the warmth of your mouth. His hand was tangled in your hear, gripping it and tugging on it from time to time.

"Shit, you're doing so good..."

Yunho was very vocal, to your (and the viewer's) pleasure.

The 50$ notification ding sounded, and a message played right after.

'bby I wanna see you jump on his cock'

Yunho smirked and gripped your hair, in a firm, yet not painful way. He swiped his thumb across your bottom lip, cleaning the remaining saliva.

"Hmm, you know what, so do I."

You stripped from your underwear, in a sensual way for the viewers (and Yunho) to enjoy.

Yunho slapped his thigh, and you climbed onto his lap, slowly but surely sinking down on his length. You gripped onto his shoulders for stability and groaned as every inch of his cock disappeared inside of you.

His hands gripped your ass, spreading your cheeks in a beautiful way for the camera to see. The male helped you, as you rode him, not only by holding your hips and guiding you, but also by snapping his hips up against yours. Filthy slapping sounds along with the mixture of your moans echoed in the room, and the donations were reaching their peak.

"F-fuck baby you're s-so good, you're doing so well."

You gripped his shoulders harder, as his praises drew you closer and closer to your edge.

"They're c-close! Should we l-let them cum?"

It was impressive how professional Yunho was. How he looked so immersed in you, so tired and fucked out, with his fringe sticking to his forehead and eyes burning into your soul, yet he didn't forget to interact with the viewers.

There were many people leaning towards yes, begging to hear the way you sounded as you came, and so he worked hard until you screamed his name and tightened around his cock. He let you rest and recompose for a second, but the way you clenched around him made it impossible for him to hold it in any longer.

"Shit, get on the ground."

You gladly complied, and got on your knees for him, immediately sticking out your tongue, as you could predict what would come after.

Yunho jerked himself off to your fucked out face, and soon a string of curses came out of his mouth, as he spilled all over your face. He smirked and wiped some of his cum off of your face with his thumb.

"Say ah, pretty baby."

You smiled and opened your mouth. He inserted his finger in your mouth and you happily licked it clean.

Yunho cupped your face with his hand, and smiled.

"You behaved so well, I might have to reward you again."

His head tilted to the side, pointing to the couch, and you followed. You sat down on the couch, and Yunho knelt in front of you. His arms wrapped around your thighs and pulled you forward, so your hole would be of easy access to him.

The man teased you, as his tongue danced around your hole, not quite getting where you wanted him. You rolled your hips up, earning a slap to your inner thigh.

He looked up at you, with a hint of darkness in his eyes.

"Behave."

It didn't take long for you to get what you wanted, as he started tongue fucking you, with the help of his fingers. You gripped his hair, and your back arched as your high approached once more.

You came quickly, with his tongue still inside you, and he held your trembling legs and body, to keep you stable.

He didn't move for a second, giving you time to breathe and rest. After you had recomposed yourself, he helped you up, and the two of you shared a heated kiss, Yunho's hands never leaving your ass, that he definitely had a fixation with.

You finished the stream by thanking the viewers and donors and shut everything off. Once everything was done, you sighed and plopped onto the couch.

"Do you not want to shower?" Yunho questioned, as he saw the mess in your face and body.

You chuckled.

"Yes I do, very much, but I'm so fucked out..."

Yunho very kindly scooped you up.

"Well, I wouldn't want my guest to work too hard, I'll help you out."

#ateez #ateez smut #jeong yunho #yunho smut #jeong yunho smut #kpop #kpop smut #kinktober #ateez kinktober #ateez fanfic #ateez fanfiction #ateez gender neutral #ateez readder insert #ateez reactions #ateez reaction #ateez imagine #ateez imagines #ateez yunho smut #yunho ateez smut

[nightswithkookmin]

Hello there😊, wanna ask you a question that is roaming in my head!! and raising my anxiety. These days, we are only getting the videos and the photos that Hybe/BH wants to show us. Most of these are edited but sometimes I feel that something is wrong with Jimin(don't get me wrong). Like it's always JK who is showing much affection to Jimin but JM became kinda quite in Jikook. What do you think about it? Does Jimin want a break from their relationship or it's just because he doesn't want to show us the truth? ?

It's just my thoughts and these thoughts are giving me stress!! I love them so much🥺that's why I'm tensed.

Lolololololololololol

I agree with a lot of your observations here but do you really think JK acts like a happy bunny these days in his Fantasia side swoop strutting all over the place like a 1955 gay man because he thinks his boyfriend is about to break up with him???

Jimin is a bit introverted in my opinion and if you aren't used to seeing that side of him you might think something is off with him or that he is sad or angry or this or that every now and then.

Anything could be inducing his moods- including but not limited to his relationship with JK. Personally I don't think JK is the one leaning forward in their relationship this time around. It's Jimin.

Similar to how Jungkook is not always introverted. We could be reading that as him leaning forward in their dynamic if we not careful. As I've said a couple of times in my blogs no one is a 100% anything. We are all introverted to a degree or extroverted to a degree and sometimes with Jikook that plays out in their dynamic.

When you say lately it's always JK showing much affection to Jimin- I love it but

Don't let the PJMs catch you chilee. They finna jump you. Lmho.

JK does show love and affection to JM. That's a fact. Jikook is not a one sided relationship. So thank you for at least seeing that.

If you feel there's something off with Jimin then JK taking care of him and showing much affection to him should be the appropriate response. No? There is nothing wrong with him taking the lead and catering to JM especially since Jimin often gets berated and attacked when he does the catering to in their dynamic.

Let's normalize Jikook loving eachother.

Personally I don't think JK is the one leaning forward in their relationship. In spite of the introverted phase he is in, I think Jimin is the one piloting things this season post the October era. I mean it's pretty much obvious.

Jimin has been on his Jikook agenda for a hot minute now. Why do you think antis are mad?

Not to be that person, but I think I pretty much theorized when 'October' was happening that whoever was 'at fault' was gonna come swinging hard on their Jikook agenda when that phase was over. We are in the post October phase. Do the maths.

And I know a lot of people have been mad at Jk for acting 'cold' and and aloof, 'uncomfortable' blah blah blah but I just think he is just chill and laid back. He put the ball in Jimin's court and it's up to him to decide what they do and how they interact especially with their glass closet now and I think that's been weighing on him too. I'll talk more about this in the Minimoni post. Sigh.

For Jimin, he's gone through a phase of reevaluation and reassessment since October. He bought a second house. He's talked about cutting off friends, trying to find his voice or try new styles- something deep and melancholic, listening to emotional songs, working out, trying to build muscles etc.

There's a lot happening around him too. For one his members keep churning music in a language he is barely conversant in. That can be challenging especially for someone like him who doesn't like to do things half assed.

He is taking on new challenges- don't know how well he is or was mentally prepared for it. For someone like Tae and Jk who had already dabbled in English Albums and singles I think they are pretty much happy about the direction the band is headed in and were very much prepared to take on this challenge.

I think they are all challenging themselves as a group in this era.

I'm not sure how he feels about the others constantly talking about that they are old and can't do this and can't do that- Jimim is 25. I don't think he is that old. He loves his youth and loves to celebrate it and make the most of it. Young forever.

I can imagine the toll it might take on him to constantly hear that he is old and can't do this or that by his members and netizens.

He loves the stage. Loves to dance. I mean look at how hard he went with his dance in the PTD MV. Hopefully in 2022 things can go back to normal.

Bangtan went from we are getting old to we are fossils in 0.2 seconds it gives me whiplash.

What I'm saying is, there is a lot going on in his personal and professional life as well as his social life. All of that could be contributing to his mood lately.

As to whether he wants a break from his relationship I think he is the best person to answer that.

People who don't know what they want or who subconsciously want to end their relationships often self sabotage their relationships in their waking life. Sometimes too they are just insecure and immature and don't know how to keep the things they want and end up sabotaging themselves. I do think JM went through phases like that in the past- you know which eras I'm talking about.

But I do think he is in the drivers seat now and the ball is in his court to decide whatever he wants from their relationship and how he wants to work it.

I think Kook is equally in a place where he would be ok with whatever Jimin decides- granted he would shed a few tears and write sad songs if Jimin decides to break up with him. He and Taylor Swift about to be Bffs. Lol.

Wow, my chest hurts. Sweet baby Jesus bind Jikook together with some Gorilla glue cos I can't if they break up for good😭😭😭

If Jimin wants Jk to be doing the flowers and the trips and the birthday posts and the songs, and the coded tweets and Weverse posts, I think he would gladly do it.

I don't think Jk is afraid to speak Jimin's love language. If Jimin doesn't want him, his loss.

Please I'm hurting. I don't like that😫😫😫

Jk can be a lot. He can be intense and yes I do think that used to overwhelm Jimin sometimes especially when he was constantly lowkey high key borderline outing their relationship left right left every chance he got💀

But dude is repented😒

Like I said, I think he's been pretty much laid back and chill for a while now. Nothing intense and 'problematic.' You can tell he's been going out of his way to not fuck things up for his own sanity, the group's and especially JM's sakes. Why then would Jimin want a break from him🤺

FREE JK.

This don't look like someone who wants a break anywhere to me but I guess time will tell. You just never know with Jimin.

You let this man tattoo your initials on his ring finger scaring off potential suitors only for you to turn around and dump him that's just wickedness🙁

You have this man wrapped around your finger jumping through hoops literally for you what more do you want him to do???? He better not start his shenanigans. He is getting wedded to that man whether he likes it or not. They are doing the whole church and traditional wedding thingy I swear to God🤺

Do I have to remind him he promised to go to the Moon with JK? Sir don't trigger me this early morning.

I'm finna channel my inner tuktukker on him and drag him to the alter kicking and screaming. Jungkook deserves his happily ever after too. It's 2021. They both better leave that ghetto shit behind. I knew I should have ordered that Gorilla glue. The fuck!

GOLDY