takemetoafaroffland

[takemetoafaroffland]

Smooth Sailing (Part 19)

Everything has been so calm, ever since Kclause finally took control and the both of us realized many things about ourselves.

Every day feels like a beautiful dream that I don't want to end.

Vee and I have been steadily becoming friends, they're so cool and surprisingly really sweet.

Fredrick doesn't talk much but when he does, it's very soothing, like speaking with a doctor that actually cares about his patients.

Vallie has been a blast to be around whenever I play games, she is always eager to speak up and speak her mind. I love that for her!

Jason, although pretty quiet, has been fun to hang around too, though we haven't gotten very close.

Fae (Happy Early Birthday), is quiet but I absolutely love their vibe and aesthetic.

And last, but most certainly not least, is Max. He never ceases to show me so much love and kindness, even going as far to compliment me everyday. We are always around each other, being around him is a breath of fresh air, he's shown me so many new things, things I didn't know about myself, things I never knew I'd try again. I am truly thankful that I met him.

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Just know that I'm starting to feel whole.

#takemetoafaroffland #Part 19 #Image #art #poetry #creative writing #headspace #mental health #writers on tumblr #author #home #alters

[takemetoafaroffland]

What To Do... (Part 18)

It's been about a weekish since I've come back, since I found out who I used to be. Strange that it was so hard to put together.

Then there's Oliver.

Beautiful, sweet Oliver.

He's been so precious to me. I wish I could do all the things he does.

He's so resilient.

I want to be near him, always, but I know that might not be best.

He deserves the best.

I don't know if I'm what's best for him.

All I know is that I love him deeply.

I'm not James. I'm not them. I'm not any of the crushes you've had.

I wish I could be them for you.

#takemetoafaroffland #Part 18 #Image #art #poetry #creative writing #headspace #mental health #writers on tumblr #author #home #alters

[takemetoafaroffland]

Feelings... ew. (Part 17)

Things feel different.

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But in a good way.

I can't exactly explain it. For about a week Max and I were inseparable from one another. We did of course need time to ourselves.

We've become very close.

It's a bit scary, but I also know Max, I've known him before he was Max, or before he became Max.

So why do I feel so tight in my chest? Why am I so worried? Why is it that this man brings me to a still when I feel him enter the room?

We've decided to take things a day at a time.

How do I do that when I already feel this way?

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How do I do that when I know you feel the same?

Photo Credit: Nicholas_visuals

#takemetoafaroffland #Part 17 #Image #art #poetry #creative writing #headspace #mental health #writers on tumblr #author #home #alters

[takemetoafaroffland]

Given The Mic. (Part 16)

I was able to speak to everyone here. Back at the old Auditorium. Once more, most faces were blurred to me, all except the few I've met this week.

Kclause was even there. I finally convinced everyone, after talking for what felt like an hour, that they were of no threat and that we all should move forward.

Well, everyone but Max. He isn't too on board with Kclause being around. He seems very protective, which is wonderful, but worrisome sometimes.

Sometimes Kclause will enter and I can feel Max's eyes piercing into Kclause's gaping voids, that's the best way I can describe their eyes.

I keep telling him that everything will be alright, and for the most part he goes along with it. What he doesn't know is that when I turn my back I can still feel the anger rising off of him as his eyes shoot back over to Kclause who visibly tenses up.

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This will take time.

Photo Credit: Imagine Dragons?

#takemetoafaroffland #Part 16 #Image #art #poetry #creative writing #headspace #mental health #writers on tumblr #author #home

[takemetoafaroffland]

Strangers to Friends? (Part 15)

It has been days since Max had come into my life.

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Plenty of time to figure out what was going on with him.

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He told me the truth.

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He wasn't James, but he was at one point. He likes his new name.

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I like Max. Max is nice.

A rough exterior into a warm home.

I never feel out of place around him.

I've learned that I am never alone.

He's shown me so much in such a short time.

Funny a stranger knows me so well.

But is he a stranger?

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Max. I want to know more about you.

Photo Credit: chrismariangel

#takemetoafaroffland #Part 15 #Image #art #poetry #creative writing #headspace #mental health #writers on tumblr #author #home

[takemetoafaroffland]

My Letter To Oliver

Dear Oliver

I remember now. I remember everything. I remember what had happened.

I will spare you the details here, but essentially they wanted to take control from you. I had to conceal the truth.

I am the one who was introduced to you by Fred.

I am Max.

I hope my letter finds my way to you somehow.

A war of the mind is on.

Hide within yourself.

I will not leave your side again.

Never Again.

-M

[takemetoafaroffland]

Misty Memory (Part 13)

Everything seems so familiar to me.

The apartment. The people, they keep calling me a name I know, but I correct them mentally, "Oliver."

That's his name.

When I went to the bathroom, ducking instinctually under the door frame, but there was nothing to duck under. The ceiling was taller. I looked in the mirror, I wasn't looking at me, but instead met that same man's eyes that I saw earlier. The Newbie.

He seemed familiar.

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He looked different.

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What?

I don't know him, but somehow I do, I know his name is Oliver, I know he loves the band Queen, I know his favorite color, his favorite food, his least favorite word. Everything about him. How do I know so much about him. I would have remembered a face like his.

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Who is he?

x M

#takemetoafaroffland #Part 13 #Image #art #poetry #creative writing #headspace #mental health #writers on tumblr #author #home

[takemetoafaroffland]

Imposters (Part 12)

I don't remember much of the details within this large luxurious house, it had many rooms, and up the stairs took us to the end of the hall where double doors stood.

My heart pounded. Will I see James? Maybe even John?

The room was large and round and spacious, and when I zeroed in on the man at the desk, who leaned over the desk. When he spoke he sounded so much like John, it made me hopeful.

But then he stood. Instead of the dark short slicked back hair, it was honey blonde hair pulled into a ponytail. He wore a button up, something similar to what John used to wear. I wanted to cry.

But just as quickly that I thought it was John, I realized he looked so different to him, even down to his eye color. He said his name is Fredrick and that he was happy to see me.

Then, not a few seconds later, a man came stumbling through another set of double doors.

My heart stopped.

It had to be James, he looks so similar, except his hair is much longer than this guy's, and now had a face full of hair. His hair, it was... lighter.

Did he dye it?

The man gave me an awkward look, then turned to Fredrick, "Who's the newbie?"

My heart started once more, this time sad and slow. It wasn't James, he would not say something so cruel as a joke. He had some sense.

It wasn't James.

It wasn't James.

His eyes were different.

It wasn't James.

His hair and facial hair was lighter

It wasn't James.

Those tattoos, they're different.

It wasn't James.

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What is this hell?

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The man muffled in my ears as I felt my world crumble, "I used to be John, but I was split from him. I'm sorry..."

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Take me back!

Photo Credit: Sebastian Stan & fqngzz on tiktok

#takemetoafaroffland #Part 12 #Image #art #poetry #creative writing #headspace #mental health #writers on tumblr #author #home

[takemetoafaroffland]

Life Has Been Found (Part 11)

I sat alone in the void, watching through the screen, I've been going crazy, slowly but surely, with no one to talk to, even though I know that I'm not alone.

I hear echoes of people's voices, maybe this is the place that Kclause spoke of, being in a small dark void, no one around except the echos of your own screams.

But as I sat there after imagining James with me again, I called out sadly for anyone that was there. At first I heard nothing, then a voice called back, asking me what I was doing in a place like this. To which I replied that I had no idea as I came to a stand.

They hummed and fixated on the sleeves of their violet sweater with a green cardigan, "Let's get you out of here..." They spoke like they were unsure. It made me nervous.

"Who are you?"

They told me their name was Fae, and they grabbed my hand, pulling me now down a dirt road, how did I get here?

"Why are you being so trusting with me..." I had asked suspiciously. They sighed and said, "Because there was someone who was asking for you. I'm bringing you to them."

I wondered who it was, a part of me wished it was James.

I look up and see a house, two stories tall, it was magnificent seeing it at the end of the valley.

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They said there's a war going on.

Photo Credit: suewallstudio.com

#takemetoafaroffland #Part 10 #Image #art #poetry #creative writing #headspace #mental health #writers on tumblr #author #home

[takemetoafaroffland]

A Faint Phone Call (Part 10)

The circles are within circles.

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And I'm trying here, you're not making it better.

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I'm not crazy.

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Take it from me. I've been there.

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You're cutting out.

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Dammit, they hung up.

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Who are you? Why are you so nervous?

Photo Credit: nisarosee

#takemetoafaroffland #Part 10 #art #poetry #creative writing #headspace #mental health #phone call #writers on tumblr #author

[takemetoafaroffland]

I can still hear you saying... (Part 9)

For so long I listened to it and would space out as you came up to the front, asking to drive so that I could relax for a bit.

You always got flustered when I couldn't remember the name of it.

Your voice was music to my ears, anytime you would sigh or laugh made me feel happy that you were there with me.

Then I took you for granted for a while, and when I pulled my head out of my ass you immediately forgave me.

You were always so sweet on me.

I miss your warmth, even if you weren't physically near me, just your voice soothed me. I miss how excited you were to meet others, how easy it was for you to talk to others.

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I miss you, James.

Photo Credit: zoey_miranda

#takemetoafaroffland #Part 9 #art #poetry #creative writing #headspace #mental health #isolation #lonliness #lonley #solitude #fleetwood mac #the chains #if you don't love me now #You will never love me again #please come back

[takemetoafaroffland]

The Cul De Sac and The Cafe (Part 8)

After last night, in my expedition, I passed out when I laid down, and dreamt of Vee.

They seemed kind enough and started walking me around the city, although I have a terrible memory, I can't remember most of the city, except two things. One was a memorial to John and James, yet no bodies. The memorials were placed in a small alleyway that opened up into a cul de sac. I can't deny I cried a bit when I saw their faces so peacefully resting behind the glass of the frame.

I hope everyone is wrong about them.

Two, a cafe that sat by the road, it was quaint, but there were plenty of people around in what I assumed was the downtown area. It was so pretty and bright there. There was a low murmur amoungst the hustle and bustle.

Maybe next time won't be a dream.

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Hope is all I have.

Photo Credit: Lena || Lifestyle Blog

#takemetoafaroffland #art #poetry #creative writing #headspace #mental health #isolation #lonliness #lonley #solitude #cafe #cafe aesthetic #cafe moodboard #dream #meditation #Part 8

[takemetoafaroffland]

Stoner Punk (Part 7)

I traveled to the auditorium. Thought it would be a good start. I called out into the stagnant air for someone, anyone to come forward. For a moment I felt dumb, like this would work...

But it did, and the double doors swung open, a slightly muscular built person who stood only a few inches taller.

"This where the meetin' is?" Their Chicago twang emphasized by the toothpick in between their teeth. I nodded, a bit nervous as they stalked towards me, the bottom of their jeans scuffing against the polished wood floors. Their short hair bounced, reflecting the light that peered in through the windows, illuminating their silvery blonde locks.

They looked like one of those cool stoner punks you find at a protest, could be about anything as long as it had a good cause, and they'll stand up for it.

"Good, glad I'm not missin' it!" They gave a subtle smirk.

"Who are you?"

"The name is Vee," They stuck out their hand for me to shake. I grasped it, their hands were rough and calloused. Maybe they can help me.

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I need more information.

Photo Credit: Mr. Brooks

#takemetoafaroffland #Part 7 #art #poetry #creative writing #headspace #mental health #isolation #lonliness #lonley #solitude #someone new #not alone? #meditation

[takemetoafaroffland]

All roads lead somewhere... right? (Part 6)

Maybe I should make a map, it will help me get to know the strangers that lurk in the streets. Maybe one of them knows where James and John are. I need answers.

I need hope.

I should lay down and think about this, creating that map might be good, but it also might bring on unknown things. Unknown people. Unknown memories that are buried deep within me.

Let's see if this works, maybe I can find Kclause, I know they love the forest thanks to some friends finding out information about them. That's if Kclause wants me to find them.

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I hope you don't run.

#art #poetry #creative writing #headspace #mental health #isolation #lonliness #lonley #solitude #maps #traveling #wish me luck #takemetoafaroffland #Part 6

[takemetoafaroffland]

Solitude (Part 5)

I always dreamed of being like this as a kid, dreamed of having friends and never being alone, then I wasn't alone, and for a while I did everything to deny it. This only hurt me more in the end, I should have enjoyed it more.

Now I'm stuck in this purgatory without a soul to talk to. I feel so alone and sad, like I'm trying to push forward, but it's getting harder.

I wish they would talk to me, I wish they weren't so scared of me. I did them harm, and them to me. I want to put it all behind me.

Please just talk to me Kclause. I want us to get along, I know we never did before, but this is different!

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I don't want to be alone.

Photo Credit to: picsbutitstillhappened

#art #poetry #creative writing #headspace #mental health #isolation #lonliness #lonley #solitude #takemetoafaroffland #Part 5

[takemetoafaroffland]

Only Lost (Part 4)

James was a soft man, not that he would ever admit it under the hard shell he had, but he was. He was kind to most people, just intolerable people annoyed him. Rightfully so.

He was the first to teach me confidence, at first he was a bit weary of me, but as time went on he opened up and I felt myself comfortable with him. He made me feel safe within and outside of the walls. He was a very protective person, not once did he stop to think when it came to mine or others safety.

He made me laugh, made me feel happy for the first time in a while. Now I've been told that he's just gone. It doesn't feel right, it feels like a part of me is missing with him. I try my best to save face and smile like nothing has happened, I need to be strong. Just like him.

I can't bring myself to say goodbye.

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Please come back.

Photo Credit: Sebastian Stan

#art #poetry #creative writing #headspace #mental health #i miss you #writing #writerscommunity #writers on tumblr #takemetoafaroffland #Part 4

[takemetoafaroffland]

Strings (Part 3)

People talk about looking in the mirror and not recognizing who they see. While I myself have felt that, there's another part of me, where instead of it being an actual mirror it's on a stage, another person on the other side who is pretending to be me.

It is me of course, I figured that one out, but it's not completely me.

Sometimes like a puppet they will move their hand and mine will move as it's tugged on the string. There are times where it is the opposite, a game of puppeteiring one another back and forth while an invisible wall sits between us.

Why can't I hear them? I see their lips move sometimes, and I try to hear the voice that used to scream and cry, but now they only whisper.

I wish the wall would shatter, I wish I could talk to you, but I can't. I know one day it will be like that, but when?

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It was never this hard before

Photo credit to: Khayala Aliyeva on Instagram

#art #poetry #creative writing #headspace #mental health #puppet #writing #writerscommunity #writers on tumblr #takemetoafaroffland #Part 3