tendernessfic

[tendernessfic]

555326 [Romanogers]

DISCLAIMER: Please be aware that although this version references existing universes/dimensions, I have written this in accordance with the timeline of events in the MCU.

Vormir, 2014.

The cold breeze swept through him. It was not a good chill and he knew it. He could sense the grief that the place bred, the devastation it caused. Doubts on whether or not his plan would work clouded his thoughts. He had no way to test it out, he had to simply do it and see.

The stone burned brightly behind in his left hand, while the other tightened its grip on Mjolnir.

This is gonna work, Steve.

I know it is, ‘cause I don’t know what I’m going to do if it doesn’t.

“Rogers, Steven. Son of Joseph.”

From afar, he could see the black cloak Cloat Clint had described, slowly making its way into his full vision. Then, he appeared.

He stepped forward, “I thought the dead were meant to stay dead.”

“But death did not take me, young boy,” he replied while walking in the direction of the abyss, “you thought you won, but you are wrong once again, as you were back then.”

Steve studied him carefully, he did not seem surprised at the reunion, nor was he afraid of his presence.

“Tell me, what is it that you seek?”

“I think you know that my purpose is not to seek, yet to return something that was taken.”

His eyes shot up as he stood, clearly alarmed that his assumption was true, “My boy, that is not a mission you shall complete.”

With a slight head tilt, he smiled, “And I think you should know by now that I complete my missions, whatever it takes.”

He held the hammer towards the sky and clouds gathered, followed by the sound of deafening thunder and a bolt of lightning striking his right arm. He could only imagine the look on Thor’s face if he had seen what just happened. Oh, how he missed his dear friend.

It was no surprise that fear overtook the face of his enemy for two seconds, before he started bolting towards Steve. Steve calmly walked forward while swinging the hammer, then hurled it towards the skull, immediately knocking him over.

He then rushed to where his body laid, and placed his foot on the skull’s chest to prevent him from getting up, “You were never meant to receive freedom,” he spat, “not after all that you’ve taken from us.”

“I have paid the price for my freedom, and I’ll be damned if someone takes it for me.”

“Well,” Steve shrugged, “then you should’ve given up when you met me.”

With that, he tossed the stone over the abyss as the skull cried out in desperation. A bright light overtook him and before he knew it, all he saw was black.

…

“Steve,”

He felt someone nudge his side. At first, it was a soft nudge, then it increasingly got harder.

“Wake up already, you can’t expect me to believe that killed you?”

His eyes fluttered open. Amidst the blur, he saw a tinge of red and smelt a familiar scent. He couldn’t quite pinpoint what it is but it made his heart race. And as his vision came to, he could not believe what or rather who was crouching down in front of him.

“Nat?”

She grinned, “Nice to see you too, soldier.”

Placing her hand behind his back, she helped him sit up and dusted some dirt off his shoulders. Still in complete shock, Steve simply stared at her with his mouth wide open. Nat laughed and nudged him, “Bet Thor took that really hard, huh?”

“What?”

She pointed at Mjolnir, “You and his baby.”

Steve chuckled, “Actually, he knew all along I was worthy.”

“Okay big guy,” she raised her palms in the air as if surrendering before standing up, “clearly the hammer might’ve malfunctioned or something but whatever makes you happy.”

As he stood, he took a good look at her. She looked incredible and exactly as she did before he lost her. And so he took her into his arms and held her tight, “This can’t be real.”  

He could feel her smile against him, “I missed you too.”

Steve took a good look of his surroundings, it didn’t seem like they were in Vormir. There was a light shade of yellow all around them, and nothing else but shallow water under their feet.

“Where are we?” he asked.

She let go of Steve and smiled, “Take a walk with me?”

“It would be an honour, ma’am.” He said as he bent down to pick up the hammer.

She scoffed, “Do me a favour and leave that, you won’t need it here. Trust me.”

So he did. The two of them walked towards nowhere in silence for a while, before he spoke up, “Everyone is going to be so happy that you’re back.”

She let out a sad laugh, “You asked where we were. We’re not on Vormir anymore.”

“Then this must be some sort of alternate dimension, right? You’ve been trapped here all along?”

She halted her steps. Steve noticed her shoulders stiffened as she brought her arms around her.

“Steve, I’m not going back.”

He walked around her so that he could see her face. She had a look of content.

“What do you mean?”

She looked up at him, “When I did it, when I jumped, my soul was released from my physical being and I was brought here, into this world. Now that the stone has been returned, I can be released.”

He frowned, “Which means you can go back, right?”

“It’s simple really,” she took a step forward, “think of spilt milk. Once it’s out of the carton, you can’t get it back in.”

Steve felt his heart shatter, “B-but Nat, I returned the stone, I-I fixed the timeline everything's meant to go back to how it was-”

“But how that is how it is, was and ever will be, Steve. I jumped. I made that choice. You brought the timeline back together but it was always my destiny in this universe to jump. I’m not meant to go back Steve.”

He placed his hands on her shoulders, “But where will you go?”

She shrugged, “Don’t know. You always said that there is only one God, even after meeting Thor. So I guess I’ll find out, won’t I? Man, it’ll suck if I find out Thor’s the one judging me.”

“Nat that’s not funny.”

“I’m serious,” she laughed, “I don’t know where I’m going after this, but I’m thankful it’s you I get to spend my last moments with.”

He sighed, “But what about Bruce?”

She smiled softly, “You and I both know that there’s a reason why you’re here right now, and not him.” Steve looked away shyly, but she placed her palm on her cheek so she could look at him, “Bruce will be fine. And so will you.”

He placed his palm on top of hers, “This isn’t fair.”

“Well, that’s our reality. Maybe in another life.” She tiptoed and placed a soft kiss on his cheek,

“Go find her, Steve. Live a happy life for both of us.”

He felt a tear escape his eye, “But what about you?”

“You’ll see me again,” she winked at him, “trust me.”

With that, Nat let go, took one last good look at him and started walking away. Steve sensed a feeling of peace from her, she was truly ready to let go. Then something hit him.

“Nat?”

She turned around, “Steve?”

“You said our reality. What does that mean?”

Loud and clear, she replied, “Brooklyn, Earth-555326.”

His brows furrowed, “What the hell does that mean?”

“Bruce will help you,” she turned away but turned back, “oh and Steve? Language.”

Before he could say another word, Nat walked away and everything else faded to white.

…

Earth, five months after the discovery of the multiverse.

“Did she say anything else, cap? Did she give you specific instructions or coordinates?”

Steve groaned, “I’ve told you, all she said was Earth-”

“I know, I know, Earth-555326. But even if I get you there, there’s no guarantee you’ll be able to find whatever she wants you to find. Hell, we don’t even know what year we need to send you to, we’re just going off probability.” 

“Nat’s not the best at giving instructions...or at following orders.” he shrugged.

Bruce let out a scoff of agreement and inputted the numbers into the machine, “Cap, we don’t know what this will do to you. I mean, you’re already…”

“You can say it,” he said as he stood, “I’m old.”

“Yeah well you were always old but now you’re old, old.”

Steve pointed a finger at Bruce, “Don’t insult me, young man.”

With a loud whirl, the machine lit up, ready to transport Steve to this version of earth Nat so dearly wanted him to see. Steve made his way onto the platform and clutched the bouquet of flowers tightly. He had no idea if the flowers would survive the trip or if he would see her again, but he was hopeful.

“Hey cap? If she’s there, tell her I said hi.”

“Will do.” Steve said as the portal engulfed him.

…

Brooklyn, Earth-555326, year 2030

He recognised this place. He was nearly beat to dust here years ago, and Bucky saved him. He was only a few blocks away from home and he could practically smell the bakery he had been meaning to visit. Step by step, he took into account the slight differences this version of Brooklyn had. It was creepily similar, yet the man who (still) sold newspapers after ten years was now a woman. Instead of the regular public school he passed by every morning, there was a hospital, presumably owned by Tony Stark (definitely owned by Tony as it clearly said ‘Stark’).

“Catch me if you can, Nathaniel!”

“James, you get back here right now!”

Steve turned around to see a brown-haired boy, chasing after a red-haired younger boy who seemed to be carrying a bow and arrow.

“James! My dad’s gonna kill me if you break that, hand it back right now!”

The boy simply sprinted faster. Something compelled Steve to follow him. The older boy seemed familiar… wait. He was sure Nathaniel was the name of Clint’s son. But James? Who was this James? Did Clint marry someone else in this other life? Perhaps Nat stayed with Clint?

He was getting closer and closer to home now. He stopped in his tracks to see if the children would, as he expected, turn right. They did.

The two were running to his place.

He attempted to walk as fast as he could but stopped in his tracks the moment he heard a familiar voice.

“James Rogers, would you please hand those back to Nathaniel?”

It’s Nat. It’s her voice. Did she just say James Rogers?

“I’m just messing with him, mum,” the boy sneakily replied, “but one day I’ll beat his archery skills you’ll see.”

“Ha! As if.” Nathaniel echoed.

Steve stiffened. He took a step forward so that he could fully see the sight in front of him. A gasp escaped his lips. Natasha was standing right there, just approximately 32 feet away from him. The same Natasha who he had bid farewell in another dimension on Vormir. Her red hair in a bun up high, still dressed in all-black, but dressed comfortably. Did the boy call her-

“Tell him, mum!”

Nat rolled her eyes, “Inside right now, the both of you. Nate, have some lunch before your dad picks you up.”

“Yes, auntie Nat!”

The two children shuffled up the stairs and into his flat, while Natasha stood there for a few seconds before turning and looking straight at him, “I’m sorry sir, my son can be a bit loud sometimes.”

Her son.

Her son’s name is James Rogers.

Steve boldly stepped forward, “You’re...Natasha Romanoff, right?”

“My husband insists I tell people that my last name is now hyphenated with his,” she laughs, “but you have the right woman. Is there anything I can help you with?”

Without much thought, he approached her and handed over the bouquet, “Nothing...I just wanted to give you these.”

She had a puzzled expression on her face, “Why thank you, how awfully chivalrous for a stranger to-” and she stopped as she looked at his face.

His blue eyes. She would recognise them even amidst a massive crowd. It was clear by the wrinkles on his face that he wasn’t her Steve. But he was Steve nevertheless, just from somewhere far, far, away.

“You don’t look a day over seventy.” Nat smiled.

With a sigh of relief, he smiled back and asked, “How old is he?”

“Seven this year.” she laughed as Steve’s eyes widened, clearly realising what year she meant, “He...was a surprise that came to us about a few months after, you know.”

“But...that means you came back.”

A look of sadness washed over her eyes, “I’m guessing I didn’t return, in your version of reality?”

Steve shook his head, “But it was you who ultimately helped us defeat him. You gave us the ultimate sacrifice.”

“I guess the universe or all universes are fair,” she sighed, “you lost me. We lost Rhodey… and a couple more others.”

“Tony?”

“No, but we lost Pepper.” She picked a petal off the bouquet she was holding and twisted it around her fingers, “I kinda wished they had both survived you know, where you come from.”

He nodded, “I do too.” Steve noticed the ring on her finger and pointed at it, “when did that happen?”

“Three months ago, actually.” She said very matter-of-factly, “You finally convinced me, after all those years.”

“That long?” he nearly yelled.

Nat grinned cheekily, “It wasn’t as if we weren’t together, I mean, this thing here,” she showed off her ring, “simply means I have to take your name now.”

He scoffed, “You make it sound like a job.”

“Well, with that boy right there sometimes it’s tougher than our actual job.”

Steve chuckled and closed his eyes for a while, listening to the voice of his son from inside his house, “Tell me something, here, did you and-”

“Steve?” The feel of her hand on his cheek opened his eyes, “I would have chosen you, in any reality, dimension and universe.”

With that, his heart swelled, “Still, I promised Bruce to tell you he said hi.”

“Well, tell him that here, he’s currently with you. Actually, both of you are currently on your way back from some place in the nine realms. Thor needed help with something.”

“Huh,” he nodded impressively, “glad to see my worthiness being used to its full capacity.”

“My, my, cap. What has old age done to your confidence.” Nat teased. They both stood there, laughing for a while before Nat gestured upstairs, “I should really get going. Gotta prepare for your arrival.”

Steve looked down at his watch, “And I have to head back.”

As she did on Vormir, she tiptoed and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. Only this time, the farewell filled Steve with a sense of fulfilment and happiness.

“Take care of yourself, old guy.”

“You too, Nat.”

She started walking up the stairs but turned around to get one last look at him, “You still look mighty fine, by the way.”

“You don’t look so bad yourself, Romanoff.”

“Rogers,” she winked at him, “it’s Romanoff-Rogers now.”

The familiar beeps alerted him that his time was up. And so he waved at her, “Tell both of them I said hi.”

“Will do.”

…

“Whoa, cap, you okay there?”

Bruce and Sam were standing above him. They helped him stand up and observed him to see if he had lost any limbs or if he had gotten younger.

“Glad to see you’re back in one piece, sorry to see you still old.” Sam nudged him.

He shrugged, “I think I’m quite happy with where I am now.”

Bruce noticed something, “I see the flowers are gone.”

Steve smiled and sighed, “Yeah.”

“Do you...want to talk about her now?”

“Yeah. I think I do.”

SECOND DISCLAIMER

I am very well aware that in the original version of Earth-555326 the Avengers died under the hands of ultron. I am also very well aware that there might be distortions and things that don’t match with the original comics but I wrote this to provide closure for me and for other Romanogers shippers who deserve the closure we never got. I believe that with the existence of a multiverse anything is possible and that outcomes will differ across dimensions. This is just my take on what I would like Steve and Nat to have in another life, and I hope this little piece of mine brings you joy, or at least helps mend those scars still fresh even weeks after Endgame.

#Avengers #Romanogers #Steve rogers #natasha romanoff #capwidow #captain america #black widow #stevenat #marvel cinematic universe #endgame #the avengers

[tendernessfic]

Chapter 1

A Summerspring x Scarlet AU. 

A sharp chill penetrates my bones, immediately waking me up from my short slumber. I observe my surroundings; Rose was still asleep, rope tied tightly around her arms, also keeping her against the tree. The sun had barely risen, decorating the sky with a beautiful orange. Still, something seemed terribly out of place. Residual smoke was still emanating from the recently blown out fire, and my bag was right next to me, shut tight. All of a sudden, I heard several birds flocking away and a faint yet familiar whistle from the distance.

I jumped on my feet instantly, swung my heavy bag over my shoulder and ran towards Rose, untying her from the tree as fast as I could.

She stirs awake, “What the fuck is going on?”

“We have to leave.”

“Why?”

“Because we have to leave.”

Before she could say another word, I quickly tear off the tape I had strapped to my arm, ready to go and taped her mouth shut, despite her loud protests. Once I untied her, I quickly dragged her to her feet and we started running. I told myself that were only a few days away from London, and there we can finally escape him once and for all.

I ran and ran until my lungs gave up. I also stopped because we reached the edge of the forest, the sight of a city greeting us. Rose mumbled loudly behind me, so I ripped off the tape from her mouth.

“You do know we’re oceans away from where he is, right?”

I rolled my eyes, “I think we both know that distance isn’t a problem for him by now. Keep walking and keep that mouth shut.”

“You’re batshit crazy, I hope you know that.”

“Thank you, it runs in the family.” I spit back at her.

She scoffs behind me before following my footsteps, “Where are we anyway?”

“Don’t know, don’t care,” I shrug, “as long as we can find food for tonight, we’re good.”

“Seriously, aren’t you going to tell me where you’re taking me?”

“No.”

“I’m going to find out.”

“Then we’ll move again, simple.”

She tugs at my bag, “We won’t get anywhere with your gun showing like that.”

I look at my bag and find out that there was a hole, penetrated by my long-ass gun, “Fuck.” I cursed.

Taking off my jacket, I wrap it around my bag as a temporary shield, hoping no one will notice what I have inside it. Rose skips towards a dandelion nearby and plucks it, blowing its buds off with the wind. I feel a pain in my heart. Deep down, I’ve always wondered if there was a hint of innocence left in her, or whether she was ruined forever by him. It’s short moments like this that give me hope. Perhaps one day I can rid her of all her memories of that horrid place and monster, finally getting the chance to restart our life as sisters.

“What are you looking at, psycho?”

And we’re back to normal.

I stand back up, “Keep walking.”

We walk for a couple more miles before finally seeing the welcome sign.

“Welcome to Nottinghamshire,” Rose reads aloud, “where are we?”

I never got the chance to respond as a black cloth covers my eyes. I shriek in response before I feel another one cover my mouth.

“Why you’re trespassing in the greatest place in the world, ladies.”

…

I come awake to the sight of dark brick walls and the sound of murmuring around me. As the blurry haze fades away, I see around 10 or more men surrounding me and a woman, observing from afar. I find Rose and I strapped together tightly, oh the irony.

“Speak.”

“Excuse me?” I ask.

A man comes forward, “Where do you two come from?”

“Malibu,” Rose answers.

“Shut up.” I tell her.

The man comes closer, “You do not speak for her.”

“Yes the hell I do,” I glare at him, “I am her sister and I can say whatever the fuck I want.”

He retracts, “Such a foul mouth for a beautiful lass like yourself.”

“Seriously, fucking untie us now!” I shout, “We want nothing to do with you!”

“On the contrary, whoever trespasses this land has everything to do with us.” Someone else shouts from the group.

I groan, “For fuck’s sake, we were on our way somewhere else.”

“Where?”

“None of your business.”

Rose nudges me, “Seriously you idiot, tell them!”

“I’ll tell them once they untie us.”

“Tell us little sister,” the man crouches down in front of Rose, “where are you two headed off to?”

She shrugs, “Have no clue, she won’t tell me.”

“Is that so? Odd for a couple of sisters who are travelling together.” He walks around us once more and clucks his tongue, “If you two meant no harm,” he snaps his fingers, allowing another man to toss my bag right to my feet, “then why are you carrying weapons like these?”

I close my eyes and take a deep breath, “Look. There are people looking for us, so we’re running. These are just a precaution.”

“How can we know you’re telling the truth?”

“Billy Lee,” I can’t believe I just said his name out loud, “he’s the one searching for us. Do your own research and you’ll find out why we’re running.”

“He’s done no-”

“Shut. Up.” I warn Rose, “She has no idea what she’s talking about.”

The man hesitates and looks at the woman standing in the distance, “What do you think?”

She approaches us, arms crossed against her chest, “Tell me your name.”

“Emily. Emily Summerspring.”

“Emily,” she smiles, “I’m Marian.”

“Hi Marian, could you please untie us?”

She raises an eyebrow, “I don’t trust you. None of us do. So how ‘bout we make a deal?”

I hesitate before saying, “I’m listening.”

“You work for us, for a couple of weeks and prove that you really mean no harm. In exchange, we’ll offer you shelter, which if you truly are hiding from someone will be useful, because he will never find you here. If we find one of any of our possessions missing while you’re here, your heads will roll, and not metaphorically. Do we have a deal?”

“That’s a bullshit deal.” Rose whispers from behind me.

I stop myself before ‘no’ comes out of my mouth. I weigh out the pros and cons really quickly. If we were stuck here, not only were we hidden safely from Billy Lee, I could keep an eye on Rose 24/7 and get food.

“Deal.”

“What the fuck?” Rose shouts.

“Untie them, Robin,” Marian says to the man, “and you,” she spins around, facing the stairs, where another man was standing. He was bald and had a black cloth covering his mouth, some kind of sword strapped to his back, “keep an eye on the both of them. Any funny business, you know what to do.”

The both of us were untied and the crowd dispersed, leaving Rose and I in the middle of the dimly lit room. The man from the stairs started making his way down towards us, stopping right in front of me. He eyed me from head to toe before removing the cloth from his face. He had a faded scar on his cheek and a beard, with eyes as grey as chimney smoke.

“You are only to leave the premises if I tell you to do so, and you will not leave your rooms unless I also tell you to do so.”

I raise an eyebrow, “What are we, five?”

“I’m not much of a jokester, Emily.”

“And I am perfectly capable of following rules, man whose name I don’t know.”

“Will.” He says before turning around and gesturing for us to follow him.

“That’s it?” I ask, “That’s all we get? You got our last names.”

“Never asked for them.”

Rose tails closely behind us, humming a tune I would love to be able to forget. The sight of the sword on his back fascinates me and I carefully reach out to touch it. Before I could even poke it, Will spins around quickly and grabs my arm, pushing me hardly against the wall.

“Don’t even fucking try.”

“What’s wrong?” I challenged, “Afraid we might be too much to handle?”

“I will kill you.”

I push myself forward, my nose nearly touching his, “Touch me and your dick falls off.”

His eyes widen, “I distinctly remember Marian telling you that your life is in my hands.” He pulls away and walks quickly up the stairs, “Keep up or you’ll be forced to sleep with our dogs.”

I follow reluctantly, Rose not caring and still continuing to hum that godforsaken tune. He leads us to a room at the end of the hall, which looked like something out of a five-star hotel, minus windows. A four-poster bed laid in the middle, which almost looked too good to be true.

“I thought we were prisoners.” I say sarcastically, Rose running towards the bed and jumping on it happily.

“Keep it down, I’ll call you down for dinner.” He ignores my statement and walks out slamming the door, locking it behind him.

I kick the door in anger, “Jackass.”

[tendernessfic]

Thinking of You [Tenderness #1 Prequel]

Dakota’s POV

“Okay, are you ready?”

“Ready.”

“Are you sure?”

“Oh for the love of God, Kate, come on!”

She laughed, “Three, two, one! Hello, beautiful!”

It took a minute for my eyes to adjust to the bright vanity lights in front of me. Once I did see myself, a huge spread across my face. Kate made me keep my eyes close as she finished my make-up for today because she wanted it to be a surprise. God, there’s just something about being in Venice that makes you look so happy.

“Do you like it?”

“Like it?” I stood up and turned to her, giving her a hug, “I love it. I think it’s the best one yet.”

She rolled her eyes, “You said that about last night’s look.”

“But I mean it! Every single time.” I kiss her cheek and skip off happily to take my profile shots.

I loved being in Venice. It makes you forget about everything and everyone. Plus, the company’s always fabulous. As Mark took shots of my hair from various angles, I took a look at my phone, which had been buzzing all day. There were several text messages from my mom and sisters, one from Chris and two from my dad, who contemplating on whether or not he wanted to buy another pony.

“How long until I have to get going?”

“You still have a couple of minutes left, have a coffee, girl, before you collapse.” Mark replied as he gestured to the coffee table out on the patio.

I walked out and sat down, inhaling the scent of the waters that surround me. I figure in another life I was definitely born here. I’ve grown so attached to the city it’s crazy. Sipping my coffee, I thought of all the fans I met last night and uttered a silent thank you up to the Gods. I have fans, can you believe that?

My phone, vibrating in my lap alerted me that someone was calling.

Jamie Dornan

“What the fuck?”

Kate popped her head out the window, “Something wrong? Didn’t ruin your face, did you?”

“Nothing, nothing,” I waved her off and waited for her to walk back inside before sliding the door shut, so I was all alone. My thumb hovered over the green button for a while before finally deciding to face the music.

“Hello?”

“Dakota?” I could picture him sitting up, surprised, “I didn’t think you’d answer.”

I shrugged, “I-um…yeah.”

There was silence for a while, “How have you been?”

“Okay, where are you?”

He was standing up now, “I’m at home. Belfast, I mean.”

“Oh,” I nodded to myself, not knowing really what to say, “and the kids?”

“Are out with their grandparents somewhere, I’m home alone on a Saturday, Millie’s out with her friends.”

I stiffened, “I see.”

Awkward.

“I, uh, just wanted to check in and see how you were doing?”

“Good, good,” someone knocked on the glass and mouthed to me that I had ten minutes, “I’m in Venice at the moment.”

“I know, that’s actually why I called.”

I leaned on the railing and played with a strand of my hair, “Oh yeah, why’s that?”

I could tell he was hesitating, “I saw a couple of pictures.”

“Hm,”

“You look incredible, Dakota.”

Thank God he wasn’t actually there so he couldn’t see the look on my face, “I…thanks.”

“I mean it,” he insists, “you look…happy.”

The words felt like a knife to my chest, “I am happy.”

He was taking a drink of water on the other side of the phone, “Good, that’s good.”

“Is that not okay?” I don’t know where that statement came from.

“What?” he answered, clearly surprised.

I cleared my throat, “I don’t know, you just seem so sullen.”

“Let’s not do this.”

“I wasn’t the one who called.”

“I called because I wanted to tell you how beautiful you looked.”

“Yeah, thank you but is that really the only reason you called?”

He sighed, “I don’t-

“Bye, Jamie.”

“I miss you, okay?”

And my heart crumbled into a million pieces. The barrier I’ve set up to distract myself from whatever pain I had left was completely torn down. I looked up at the sky to avoid crying. How can three simple words break me that easily?

“Jamie, Jamie…”

“Look, you don’t have to say anything just know that-”

“I miss you too.”

He was smiling, “Really?”

“Yeah, really.” I smiled too.

More silence overtook the both of us. So many words left unsaid but we promised we would never go there.

“I heard you’ll be in London in a couple of weeks?”

“That is correct.”

I pictured him leaning on a wall, “Can we meet up?”

I scoffed, “Where?”

“Ouch,”

“Sorry!” I smacked myself on the forehead, “I didn’t mean it like that, I just, you know. It’s us we’re talking about.”

“I know,” he agreed, “we could always meet up at my apartment.”

I played with my fingers, “I’ll let you know.”

“Okay,” he says, “I really miss you, Dakota.”

Another knock on my door alerted me that it was time to go, “I know, Jamie. Hey, I gotta go.”

“Go kill ‘em, you always do.”

“Thank you, and Jamie?”

“Hm?”

“No matter how happy I am; I still miss you.”

…

Jamie’s POV

The phone went dead. She misses me. Dakota misses me.

I take comfort in knowing that a part of her still thinks of me from time to time. I swipe through my apps and log back into the Twitter account I secretly have. I quickly type in her name in the search bar and scroll through her pictures. She’s loved by so many.

I’m just another one of them.

I pause when I see a picture of her, smiling, glowing. God, how is she real?

By instinct, I click on save. I head over to the couch and lay down on it, suddenly feeling very overwhelmed. I study the picture for the longest time and run a finger down the screen as if I was really touching her hair. Funny, I still remember how it feels like to run my fingers through her hair, having her scent on me.

I close my eyes and find myself picturing her and him. She’s happy. That’s all that matters. I can’t be what she needs anyway.

But then a tear slips through my eye, reminding me of how much she means to me and how much I want it to be me that sees that smile every single day.

“I think of you too, my love. All the time.” I say to myself.

And it’s true, I really do.

[tendernessfic]

Epilogue

Epilogue

30 Years Later

“Fucking hell,” I curse myself as I look at the mess of utensils on the floor.

“Would you kindly use lady words instead?”

I roll my eyes as I dump everything onto the tray I was holding, “We’re in the 1970s, I’m free to say whatever the hell I want.”

Addison, my best friend and fellow nurse scoffed, “Tell that to those stuck-up doctors who run this place.”

Placing the tray on the sink, I replace all the utensils with new, sterilized ones, “I wish sis, I wish.”

“Oh shit,” she exclaims, “we’re late!”

“For what?”

“Are you serious?” she says while standing up and tidying up her skirt, “Those doctors from Ireland are coming today to train us on that new method or whatever, and they’re going to be working here and-”

My eyes widen, “That’s today?”

“Yes, you idiot! Let’s go, we’re late!” She immediately runs out to the hallway.

I laugh as I run behind her, “So much for being ladylike, huh?”

“Oh shut up!” She calls out.

The two of us were running around the hospital, giggling like little girls and I could tell that I was due in for a scolding based on the look the head nurse gave us as we passed through the double doors where the training was being held. The room was packed from end to end, full of doctors trying to cram as much information into the nurses’ brains before they started their work here.

I looked to my right and saw how Addison had already caught the attention of a doctor. I needed to do the same, only problem was, most of the men were already occupied.

“You free there?” Someone says from behind me.

I turn around, “Oh thank God, yes please, teach me.”

He laughs as he leads me to a nearby bed where a dummy patient was lying, “How long have you been here?”

“I just started, so I’m still adjusting to the hospital environment and so on.”

“I see,” he says as he points to the dummy, “can I see your sutures?”

I nod at him confidently, “Sure.” While I start on the dummy, he studies me closely, taking notes of God knows what, “Can I ask you something?”

“That’s what I’m here for.”

“You’re not here to teach me how to stitch up a patient, are you?”

He chuckles, “No, but I want to see how steady your hands are before I go into the serious business.”

“Detailed.”

“Why, thank you.”

From the other end of the room, I could hear one of the doctors giving up on training his nurse, “Jesus, to think they’d train you guys to remain calm and composed.”

He bursts out in laughter, “Have mercy on them, most of these men spent their years with their noses stuck in medical books and journals. It’s safe to say they have no social skills whatsoever, it’s a miracle some of them have wives.”

“Witty,” I giggle, “and I’m assuming you aren’t one of them?”

“No ma’am,” he smiles proudly, “although the women part I still need to figure out.”

I cut the thread I was holding, “Come on, with looks like yours, American women will fall at your feet.”

“Really?”

“Yep.”

I place the needle and thread back in his hand as he studies me carefully, “Well, I certainly hope you’re right. Well done.”

“What can I say,” I wink, “I was made for this.”

“Oh yeah, come from a family of nurses and doctors?”

I shrug, “I guess you could say that.”

“Okay, step two,” he says as he sits down on the bed and motions me to sit down next to him, “I want you to answer my next question with full honesty.”

“Yes, sir.”

“What do you think of doctors who think they’re way above nurses?”

I frown, “I think they can kiss my ass and walk out of here before I kick them out myself.”

He claps, “Perfect answer.”

“I’m confused,” I tell him, “was that part of the training?”

He shakes his head, “No, I just wanted to know what kind of person you are.”

“And?”

“And I think you’re the type of woman who takes no shit from anyone, the exact type of person I look forward to working with for the rest of my work here.”

“Well,” I grin, “in that case, I’m pretty sure we’ll have nothing but wonderful moments ahead of us,” I say as I reach out to shake his hand.

He takes my hand, “I look forward to working with you, miss?”

“Smith, Isla Rose Smith.”

“Nice to meet you, Isla. I’m Dr. Aiden Charles Dornan.”

The end.

Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU.

Now, I understand y’all wanted them to end up together - but this is always how I imagined the story playing out, and how I imagined the ending to be. In terms of what happens next, well it’s open to interpretation, and I’d love to hear your theories. 

I probably won’t be writing a Tenderness #3 any time soon, but never say never. I do have a couple of ideas I’d love to put in writing but only time will tell. Thanks again for all the support you guys have given me. A writer is nothing without her readers, I love y’all. 

- Nas 

[tendernessfic]

Chapter Eighteen

“Remember to write me every day,”

“You know I can’t do that-”

I raise a finger, “Olivia, you promised!”

“I’m kidding!” she laughs defensively, “By the end of this year you’ll be tired of all the letters I sent you.”

Jamie smirks from behind us, “I think it’ll be the other way around.”

I smack him, “Stop it, you’re supposed to be on my team, remember?”

He wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me close, “That is something I will never forget.”

My heart pangs and I feel the tears start to well up. Before I get to say anything, Jamie pushes his lips onto mine to silence me. When he pulls away, he places his hand on my cheek.

“You said no tears.”

Taking a breather, I nod, “I know, I know.”

I hear the sound of the zipper being pulled up, “And that’s the last of it.” Olivia sighed as she clapped her hand.

Jamie lifted both by bags up as we walked outside the hospital tent. I gave Olivia one last hug and a kiss on the cheek to remember me by. Having to let her go only intensified the pain I was already feeling. I wanted nothing more than to stay and I’m still clinging to whatever little hope I have left.

Jamie wouldn’t let me carry any of my bags and so I simply walked by him, clinging onto his right arm like my life depended on it. I could tell he was just as devastated as I was, but he didn’t want me to be any sadder.

“Do you reckon we would’ve had a house with a white picket fence?”

He laughs, “No, I don’t.”

I turn to him and pout, “Why not?”

“Because,” he shrugs, “I know you, and I know having a massive farm would make you so much happier.”

The widest grin overtakes my face as I stepped forward and placed a soft kiss on his cheek, “I love you.”

He winks at me, “And I, you.”

“Maybe you could come with me, you know?”

He chuckles, “Yeah, maybe.”

“And maybe I could run away,”

“Maybe,”

“And maybe I could live with you hear after the war is over!”

He smiles sadly, “Maybe.”

All these maybes, and no promises I dare make.

My grip on him tightens, “In another life, all those things would be possible.”

He swings the bag he was holding with his right arm onto the left, holding both bags with one hand so that his other one was free. He wrapped it around my waist and pulled me close.

Placing a kiss on my temple, he sighs, “In another life.”

The train station made its way into my view and I physically feel another heartstring of mine break. I could tell Jamie felt the exact same way because he pulls me in closer.

“Kidnap me,”

“You know I can’t, and you’ll never forgive yourself if you run.”

“Will you stop knowing me so well?”

He smiles as we enter the station, “Too late for that, sweetheart.”

He doesn’t release me until we reach the platform and even then, he sets my bags down on the floor and pulls me onto his lap as we sit on a bench. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out an envelope.

I stop him, “Don’t, it’ll make me cry.”

“Read it on the train,”

“Jamie-”

“Please,” he begs, “read it only when you’re on the train and when I’m out of sight.”

I turn to him and run a hand through his hair, “I’m so sor-”

He places a finger on my lips, “Shut up.”

“But,”

“No, this isn’t your fault.”

“But it is!” I yell, “I should’ve told you from the very beginning, it would’ve saved us this heartbreak.”

He shakes his head, “No, it wouldn’t have because Dakota, I needed you in my life from the moment I first saw you. Even if I didn’t know it then, I would’ve figured it out eventually. And the days I’ve spent with you were the best I’ve ever had in my life.”

I kiss him. Passionately, deeply, desperately. I want him to remember what I taste like on his lips for the rest of his life.

When I pull away, I look at his eyes, “Jamie you’ve become a part of me. I know it sounds crazy but you have. And you never have to worry, because no matter where I go and no matter where I am in this world, I will always take that part of you with me.”

The sound of a whistle alerted the both of us that the train was pulling onto the platform. I reached for the flower pin that held my hair together and placed it in his hand.

“I know it’s not much,” I start, “but I want you to have something to remember me by.”

He smiles, “I don’t need anything to remember you by, Dakota. Just knowing you’re happy, somewhere out there is enough.”

The train comes to a halt and people began to rush inside, many of them nurses and soldiers who could no longer serve and were being sent home like I was. We both stand and I immediately cling to him, not willing to let him go until the very last minute. Once we were right in front of the train’s entrance, Jamie swings both my bags onto the train’s steps and quickly pulls me into his arms. My heart breaks into a thousand pieces as we bid each other farewell.

“I love you.” He whispers into my ear, his voice breaking.

I push my face into his neck, “I love you, so much.”

“Hey, Dakota?”

“Yes?”

He pulls away, “Thank you, for bringing me back to life.”

And with that, he joins our lips for once last time. The sound of the final whistle echoed through the halls and Jamie lets go, pushing me up the steps of the train before the doors slam shut. We both have tears streaming down our faces, no longer caring about anything else. As the train begins to move, Jamie moves along with it, faster and faster until he was running, getting his last glimpse of me, and I him.

And there was one.

I stay there, leaning against the wall. The first thing I do is pull out the letter he gives me. I unfold it and I swear I could hear his voice in my ear.

Dakota,

By the time you read this, you’ll be on your way home and I’ll be making my way back to the barracks. I know you’re hurting, I know this outcome isn’t what you wanted, I know you wanted so much more. So did I.

But if there’s one thing this war has taught me, it is the fact that the most beautiful stories are often the shortest. The times we’ve spent together, my God, Dakota. A man could only dream of that kind of love. You gave me everything I could ever ask for in life in such a short period of time, and I hope I did the same for you.

When you feel sad, think of us. Think of all our hopes and dreams. Think of the children we could’ve had - Aiden and Isla, and how the four of us would have become the perfect family. I know that at first, it’ll hurt thinking of this. But you know what, in time, it’ll bring a smile to your face. Because I know for sure it’ll bring a smile to mine.

I believe that this isn’t the end for us. I believe that one day, I’ll be able to see your smile again. It doesn’t matter if we don’t end up together, what matters is that we both know how much we love each other and that when we meet, no matter the circumstance, we will still feel nothing but love for each other.

Never waste your time worrying about me. Trust me, I’m a big boy now. I know how to live, and that’s to live life to the fullest. Thank you for making me the man that I am today, for showing me that life is worth living and that love is worth fighting for.

I love you. So much more than words could ever say. You are everything to me, Dakota. You have completely consumed me, heart and soul. I’ll see you soon, sweetheart. Be happy, you deserve nothing less.

Yours forever,

James Peter Maxwell Dornan.

I hold his words tightly against my heart as a sad smile makes its way onto my face.

“I love you, Jamie.” I say to myself, knowing that somehow, he must’ve heard it.

Epilogue 

[tendernessfic]

Ditto [Tenderness #1.6]

Jamie Dornan

Hey baby, I just got to the studio. Are you settling in alright?

Dakota Johnson

Yep, I might head over to my mom’s house in a few.

Jamie Dornan

Okay let me know when you want me to pick you up later. Is the baby fine?

I rolled my eyes.

Dakota Johnson

For the hundredth time today, yes. The baby is safe here in my bump and will not be under any harm whatsoever. The only thing it’s suffering from is hunger.

Jamie Dornan

Are you sure that’s the baby and not his mother?

Dakota Johnson

You annoy me. Have fun filming, tell James hi for me.

Jamie Dornan

I love you.

Dakota Johnson

I love you more.

I set my phone down and grabbed the iPad that allowed us to order room service. I decided to fulfill my craving of truffle fries while I ponder on whether or not I wanted to go out today. Jamie’s filming with James Corden and although I’m excited for him, all I really want is for him to be here with me. Pregnancy hormones suck; I’m always on edge nowadays �� especially because I’m constantly horny. Jamie’s not complaining though.

Flipping through the channels, I smiled as I landed on one that happened to be playing ‘The 9th Life of Louis Drax’. The doorbell rang just in time and I quickly dashed over to get my fries. As usual, the waiter gave me the ‘holy shit, you’re Dakota Johnson’ look. I brushed it off and nearly slam the door in his face because I wanted to get back to Jamie’s movie.

As I stuffed myself with fries, I couldn’t help but wonder why he looked so good here? He was much skinnier than he was now, but somehow that played into his charm. So young, so mysterious and that stubble that I love between my legs…

Stop it, Dakota!

Looking over at the clock on my phone, I regret to inform myself that he still had around two hours left for filming. I dragged the tank top I was wearing up so I could play with my belly, something I always did when I was bored. I always surprise myself at how big I was getting, and I was only four months along. You see, the other tough part about pregnancy hormones is constantly thinking that Jamie will find me unattractive and getting so moody over that. I suddenly feel a stir from inside me. I know it’s probably impossible but I swear I do.

“I know baby,” I smile, “I miss him too.”

Popping another fry in my mouth I go back to focusing on the movie. My eyes widen as I realize a sex scene, his sex scene was playing right in front of me. A soft gasp escapes my mouth as he lifts the woman up onto the table and runs his hands over her thighs. I feel my own thighs tremble at the sight and groan.

“No, no, please not now baby, your daddy isn’t home yet.”

My phone buzzed from the bedside table. Perfect, a distraction. The notification said Jamie’s name and I swiped it almost immediately.

“Oh fuck me,”

Jamie Dornan

Thought you might like this picture. I found it pretty good myself, eh? Having so much fun filming, you’ll love what we came up with today!

My God. His suit, his hair, his stubble. I could physically feel the wetness start to grow down there and the fact that Jamie’s moans were still playing via television made it all worse. I wanted-needed-to look away from the picture, but I couldn’t. The way his arms were so perfectly displayed by the suit and I could only imagine how good he would look taking it off-

Dakota Johnson

I need you home.

The reply came within seconds.

Jamie Dornan

Are you alright?

Dakota Johnson

No. I need you.

Jamie Dornan

Do you want me to call you? What’s wrong? Is everything fine with the baby?

Dakota Johnson

Yes? Just get home as fast as you can and no, don’t call me. Please.

Jamie Dornan

Dakota, you’re scaring me. I’ll let your mom know to get to the hotel.

Dakota Johnson

NO! I just need you. Okay? So just come straight home after you finish.

Jamie Dornan

Are you sure?

Dakota Johnson

Yes, I love you. Just please, come home.

Jamie Dornan

I’ll be there in an hour. I love you too.

I swiped up through the messages so that I could look at the picture again.

“Shit,” I cursed to myself.

I was so tempted to touch myself but I knew that waiting for Jamie would make it all worth it. One hour. I could do one hour. I texted my mom telling her that I won’t be coming over tonight and concentrated on the movie. I knew that watching Jamie would only make it worse but I couldn’t bring myself to change the channel. My breaths were getting heavier and I had to go into yoga mode for a second to distract myself. It didn’t work.

Time seemed to go by so slow it was agonizing. And the more he wasn’t there yet, the more I resorted to looking at the picture that has caused me so much discomfort. Fuck pregnancy hormones.

And then it came, the sound of his keycard being inserted and the opening of the door.

“What’s wrong?” he asked as he ran over to the bed and stood me up, “are you alright? Do we have to go to the doctor?” he studies me from head to toe, worry evident on his face.

He looked exactly as he did in the picture he sent me. His breathing was jumpy; he must’ve ran a lot to get to me. I lick my lips in anticipation as I trace a finger down his chest.

“Dakota?”

And with that, I flip my eyes up to his, throw my arms around his neck and crash my lips onto his. He stumbles backward in surprise but catches me. I jump up and wrap my legs around his torso as he holds onto me.

“Dakota- umf- Dakota, wait!” He yells as he pulls away.

We were both gasping for air now, “What?” I ask him.

“Are you okay?”

I nod and kiss him once more, “Yes, I just…”

“You just what?”

“I, um-”

“Dakota,” he warns.

I groan, “I just really need you to fuck me!”

His jaw drops as the realization hits him and he scoffs in disbelief, “That’s it? That was the emergency?”

“I never said emergency.”

“Goddamit, Dakota!” he shakes his head, “I thought you were in labor or something!”

I frown, “Highly impossible considering I’m only four months along.”

“Baby, my God. You gave me ten heart attacks.”

Letting out a giggle, I kiss him again, “I’m sorry I just, you looked so good in that picture so this is all your fault.” I say as I rub his bicep through his suit.

I could tell a part of him wanted to yell at me, “I’m mad at you.” He mumbles out in between my kisses.

“Then take it out in bed, baby,” I challenge him.

I could tell he was in conflict with his own thoughts but that he was going to give in. He rolls his eyes and joins our lips together, “Fuck, I can’t say no to you.”

Holding onto my legs tightly, he walks us back towards the bed before dropping me onto it. He unbuttons his suit and throws it onto the ground. Shit, that was exactly how I imagined it to be. He the proceeds to take off his shirt while I rid myself off my tank top. He hisses at the sight of my breasts and dips down to bring my left nipple into his mouth.

“Oh, Jamie!”

He smirks and pulls on it slightly, just enough to drive me insane. My hands dove down to his pants as I unbuckled them and slid them down his thighs, already feeling his growing length against my legs. Jamie pulls away and slides my panties down. He slides a finger up toward my clitoris and moans.

“God, you’re soaking wet.”

Sliding down, he dips is tongue into me and I scream out loud. I immediately start pulling on his hair. The pleasure I felt was so intense I was afraid I would pass out after my orgasm. He swirls his tongue around then goes up to suck on my clitoris, then pushes two fingers into me and I swear I was losing my mind.

“Jamie, I’ll come!”

“Do it, then.”

“No,” I force his head up to look at me, “I want you inside me when I come.”

Jamie sucks in a breath as he immediately climbs up and position himself on top of me, “Jesus Christ, someone’s horny.”

I reach down and grasp his length before positioning it just above my entrance. He enters me and we both cry out in relief, desperately needing to feel each other.

“Don’t be gentle,” I tell him.

And so he didn’t. He fucks me fast, hard and deep. Raising one of my legs up and bring it over his shoulder, letting him reach my sweet spot. His name rolls out of my tongue loudly over and over again, but I couldn’t care less if the whole hotel could hear me.

“You feel so good, baby,”

I feel myself clenching up and I knew that my orgasm was imminent, “Jamie, don’t stop, I’m so close!”

“I know,” he says as he pulls out entirely and slams back in, “you want to come?”

“Fuck! Yes! Please!”

He smirks as he thrusts as deep as he could, “Ask me, then.”

“Shit, Jamie,” I whimper, “Please, let me come!”

A deep, carnal groan escapes his throat, “Yes, come for me!”

The orgasm I had was the most intense I have ever felt in my entire life. It skyrocketed through my body from the tip of my toes all the way to my head. Jamie came immediately after, which only further intensified what I was feeling. A string of curse words escapes his mouth as I slowly come down from my high, still milking whatever was left out of him.

He pulls out of me and drops next to me onto the bed, “Fuck, that was good.”

I was already drifting off as I snuggled into him, “Are you still mad at me?”

He slips a hand around my waist and pulls me closer, “Mhm.”

I smile and kiss his chest, “Blame the pregnancy hormones.”

He chuckles, “Yeah, blame the baby.” He says as he pokes my belly.

I feel his lips on my hair as I let sleep overtake me. Before I doze off, I hear him whisper, “You’re a pain in the ass, but you’re the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

Ditto.

Author’s Note 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JANET!

So, I meant to write this two weeks ago but I thought I’d present this as a birthday present instead. Hope you enjoy it, boo. xx.

[tendernessfic]

Chapter Seventeen

“Easy there girl,”

I roll my eyes, “Relax, will you? I got it.”

And as soon as the words were out my mouth, the glass nearly slips from my hand. Olivia catches it in a heartbeat. A sigh escapes my mouth as my best friend stands up and practically places the glass on my lips so I could take a sip.

“Thanks,” I tell her.

“Stop beating yourself up over it, will you?”

“I’m so sick of this,” I close my eyes and lean back, “I hate sitting here, hoping and hoping and having none of that hope come through.”

She places her hand in mine and says the words I do not want to hear, “You know, maybe it’s just how it’s supposed to be.”

I feel the tears welling up once more and turn away. I know she can hear me crying in the middle of the night. I sound so desperate and I hate that there’s nothing I can do to change it.

“Oh, Dakota…”

“Stop,”

“He’ll love you either way you know-”

I turn to her once more, “But that’s exactly what I’m afraid of.” She furrows her brows in confusion so I continue, “I’m afraid I’ll break him again.”

Olivia tightens her grip on mine, “You won’t, Dakota. Because you fixed him for life.”

“You don’t know that,”

“Oh but I do,” she pushes, “you made him realize that there is so much in this world to live for and that he deserves to love and be loved. You gave him a reason to live, Dakota. No one is ever going to take that away from him. Side by side or miles apart, he knows life is worth living just because you’re both still on the same planet.”

My heart aches at her words, “Is it so wrong for me to wish that we’d had both died, just so we could’ve spent an eternity together?”

She laughs, “Hey, just because you’re not riding the same wave, doesn’t mean you’re in a different ocean.”

And right on cue, Jamie strides into the tent with a basket in his right hand and flowers on the left. He frowns at the sight of my tears but I simply reply with a gentle smile. Olivia notices this immediately and stands up, places a kiss on my forehead before making her way out, giving Jamie a tap on the shoulder before she does so.

He pauses at the edge of my bed for a second before sighing and finally reaching me, “Please stop wasting your tears on this,”

I couldn’t help but laugh, “Then what do you suggest I waste them on?”

“Nothing. Nothing is ever worth your sadness.” He says as he sets the sets the flowers on the bedside table and sits down, “I want to take you out tonight.”

“Is that possible?”

He smiles, “I had to beg the doctor to do so, that I wanted you to spend your last few days here happy and exploring, not in a hospital bed.”

My eyes lit up, “Really?”

“Really.”

I was about to jump up in joy when I remembered, “Jamie I don’t have anything to-”

He raises his palm, letting me know to pause as he leans down to the picnic basket and pulls out a red dress. I shook my head and giggled, how could I not be head over heels for this man? He thinks of everything.

“Go change, I’ll wait for you right here.”

I raise an eyebrow playfully, “Want to help me out?”

At that moment, a nurse who had been carrying a tray of utensils passed by us and dropped the entire tray as she heard my words. My cheeks turned bright red as I jumped off the bed and headed towards the lavatories. I could hear Jamie laughing his heart out…the asshole.

…

No surprise, he brought us out to our spot and had everything we needed for a candlelight dinner. He seems cautious, looking around for any possible threats and I don’t blame him. But I wish he’d realize that as long as he’s there, I feel safe. Tremors still attacked my hands every time I tried to lift something up too high, so Jamie had to feed me most of my food.

“I’m sorry,” I tell him again.

He sighs, “Never apologize for having me take care of you.”

He then leans back onto the blanket and motions for me to lay down next to him. The moon was shining bright and right here, where we are right now, we’re protected from all the pain and suffering the world is going through. He places a kiss on the top of my head as he caresses my arm. 

“Jamie?”

“Hm?”

“I need you to promise me something.”

“Anything, my love.”

I look up at him, “Promise me that you’ll live?”

He tilts his head in confusion, “What?”

“Promise me,” I take a deep breath, “that you’ll never question why you’re alive ever again. That you’ll always pull yourself back up every time you fall and that you’ll think of me in those moments, and how all I want is to be there for you, to hold you and never let you go. Because hell Jamie, even if we never get to see each other ever again, I’ll still wake up every morning with a smile on my face because I know that you’re somewhere, in this world, happy.”

“Dakota,”

I stop him, “Jamie you’ve engraved yourself into my heart. There is no one I’ll ever love as much as I love you and I hate that this is the ending of our story.”

He rakes his hand through my hair, “It’s not the ending, sweetheart. I know it isn’t because as long as you’re alive, my heart will still beat and the world will continue to spin. And even if we don’t end up together in this lifetime, know that I’ll spend an eternity looking for you in the afterlife.”

I reply to him by crashing my lips onto his. He lets me climb on top of him and I feel his hand explore under my dress. Before long, I feel a growing hardness beneath me and I moan in response.

“Jamie-”

“Relax,” I feel him smirk, “I brought condoms.”

I pull back and laugh, “Hoping to get lucky, were we?”

“Oh baby,” he winks, “I’m always lucky when I’m with you.”

He flips me over so that I’m underneath him as he hikes my skirt up further. I slowly unbutton his shirt as he trails kisses down my neck. I feel him rub me through my panties and soft gasps escape my lips. He pulls away from me and assists me in ridding him off his shirt while I pull my dress off.

“You’re so beautiful, never forget that.” He brings one of my hands up to his lips and kisses it, “You’re so deserving of love and no one in the world deserves you.”

I shake my head as he places my palm on his cheek, “You deserve me.”

I unbuckle his belt and slide his pants down while he fusses around with the tin can. I trail my hand up his chest while he slides the condom onto his length. Nudging my legs apart, he places a soft kiss on my lips before sliding in me.

“Shit,” he exclaims while I hiss at the fullness.

He gives me a moment to adjust before I nod against his chest as he thrusts. In and out, with a steady pace. I writhe in pleasure as he takes me, body and soul and I willingly let him do so. He owns me, nothing will ever change that.

I feel a tear escape my eye, but he quickly wipes it away with his hand, “Don’t think my love, just be with me, right here, at this moment.”

Feeling his other hand drop to my clitoris, I immediately let go of all my thoughts and scream his name out loud. He groans in response and picks up his pace.

“Jamie, harder!”

He drops his head to my neck and proceeds to mark me. He brings one of my legs over his shoulder and pushes in as far as he can go.

“Oh, Jamie!”

“Does that feel good?”

“Don’t stop!”

Further increasing his pace, I wrap my arms around his back and bring him as close to me as I could.

“I think, I think I’m-”

“Fuck, come for me, Dakota!”

And I explode around him, my orgasm hitting me from places I never knew possible. His thrusts slow and he collapses on top of me. I inhale his scent deeply, trying to remember it and how it brings me a sense of home. He rolls over, disposes of the condom and pulls out another blanket from the basket. Wrapping it around both of us, we lay there, tangled with each other.

“Maybe in another life, we could’ve had forever,” I mumble into his chest.

I feel him smile into my hair, “And what would forever look like for us?”

“A farmhouse with loads of horses and two kids running around,” I trace circles on his forearm, “keeping you busy even to your fifties.”

“A boy and a girl?”

I nod, “Yeah, a mommy’s boy and a daddy’s girl.”

He tilts my chin up so that I was looking into his eyes, “What would their names be?”

I thought of it for a while before saying, “I’ve always loved the name Isla.”

“Isla,” he looks around us, “what about Isla Rose?”

An ear-splitting grin covers my face, “She must be beautiful.”

“Just like her mother.”

I snuggle even closer to him and bop his nose with mine, “What about our handsome boy?”

He joins our hands together and places a kiss on top of mine, “Aiden.”

“Huh,” I shrug, “any particular reason why?”

“Because my grandfather was named Aiden,” he smiles shyly, “and he was an amazing man.”

How could I not love this man?

“Can I just make a small suggestion?” I ask him and he replies by nudging his chin forward, signalling a yes, “what about Aiden Charles?”

I feel his heart jump for a second, “For Charlie?”

“Yes.”

He shakes his head as a tear escapes his eye, “I love you, so much more than you will ever know.”

“And I you, James, more than words could ever comprehend.”

Tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, he holds me close as he whispers, “Hold me close to your heart, Dakota, no matter where you go.”

[tendernessfic]

Chapter Sixteen

“Come on, Jamie one more time!”

“No, Dakota.”

“But-”

“Enough!” He yells at me, “You need to rest your hands not pressure them into doing things they can’t do.”

I glare at him, “I know if I try again I’ll be able to-”

He shakes his head and cuts me off, “Stop, please. You do nothing but hurt yourself every time we try and you sit there for hours and stare at the wall. I need you here, Dakota. In the moment, with me.”

“That’s exactly what I’m doing,” I feel tears stinging my eyes, “I’m trying to be able to stay here with you.”

Jamie’s expression softens as he pulls me onto his lap and cradles me in his arms. I let out all the tears I’ve been holding back for the past couple of days while he places soft kisses on the top of my head.

“I want to stay, Jamie.”

I feel him nod against my hair, “Me too, sweetheart.”

Straightening up my back, I look into his eyes, “I’ll talk to them again, perhaps there’s someway they’ll let me-”

“Dakota…” he stops me before I can even finish my sentence.

I sigh loudly and look away from him. I still can’t accept the fact that I’ll be sent home in exactly three weeks. I was hoping for some sort of miracle; that my hands would magically work the way they used to. Jamie places two fingers on my chin so that I’d look at him again. He brings our lips together and he kisses me soft and sweet. There were so many unsaid messages conveyed through our kiss and I wanted it to never end.

“Jamie I have to tell you about him,” I say as we pull away.

He closes his eyes in frustration, “What’s the point of knowing?”

“So you won’t wonder for the rest of your life.”

Lifting me off his lap, he sits me down in his chair while he sits on my hospital bed so that he was above and across me. Crossing his arms, he nods as a signal for me to continue.

“Albert and I have known each other since we were kids,”

“I hate this story already.”

I laugh sadly, “Our families have always been close to each other and it was kind of a given that one day, we’d end up together.” I see him play with a nonexistent thread on his uniform, “We had only been together for around a year when it happened…”

“When what happened?”

“Albert was on his way to my house to bring my flowers, it was my birthday. He wasn’t looking and so a car just slammed into him.”

Jamie stiffens in front of me, “But…”

“He made it,” I nodded, “but his legs, they didn’t. He’s been in a wheelchair ever since the accident. And when I was asked to come join the war as a nurse, he made me promise I’d come back to marry him because he knew no one would ever love someone as broken as he was.” Jamie stays silent so I continue, “Truth be told I wasn’t even thinking of marriage at the time. But he had been so heartbroken because all his friends had gone to serve as soldiers, and he had to stay home and take care of his dad’s shop. He felt so disposable, replaceable and I was the only person left who was there for him. He wasn’t going to let me get away so-”

“So he locked you down,”

“Yes.”

He chuckles, “He’s a smart guy, I’ll give him that.”

I smiled and stood up, “I had to say yes, Jamie. I couldn’t let him lose the one last thing that gave him hope.” Stepping closer towards him, I placed my shaky hands on his shoulders, “but I never once loved him the way I love you.”

He shakes his head, “You don’t have to say that,”

“But it’s true!” I push further, “Jamie, I love Albert and I always will, but I never truly felt when I was with him. You push my buttons further than any other person I’ve ever met and that’s what I love about you. You love deeply and passionately and you would move mountains to see me smile. And I’d do the same for you because my heart swells every time I think about you and it’s killing me inside knowing that I can’t stay, because I do want to Jamie, more than anything in this world.”

He places his hands on top of mine, “But I know you, and you don’t break your promises.” When I nod, he wraps his arms around my torso and pulls me closer, “And I can’t hate you for that because that’s one of the things I love about you.”

Running my fingers through his hair, I smile, “So please, please, don’t ever doubt my feelings for you.”

There’s something in his eyes that I can’t comprehend, but he brushes it off quickly before I question it and simply nods, “I love you, no matter what happens.”

[tendernessfic]

Chapter Fifteen

“I think he’s waking up,”

“Is he really? He inhaled so much smoke.”

“I think he’s a strong one, a fighter. Sir, can you hear me?”

Why was she shouting at me? I let out a groan, “Stop shouting!”

“I’m not, sir,” I feel her a cold sensation on my bare chest, “his heartbeat’s returned to normal.”

Heartbeat? Normal? Smoke…Shit! I force my eyes to snap open and immediately regret it, cringing at the light that burned through my sight. My hands fly to cover them as I groggily attempt to sit up on the bed.

“Be careful, there’s an IV attached to you.”

With all that I have, I open my eyes once again and rip out the needle in my arm, earning gasps from the two nurses around me.

“Sir, please! You need to lay down!”

“I’m fine,” I say as I attempt to stand up, not caring if I was bare-chested, “where is she?”

They look at each other with a puzzled expression, “Where is who?”

“The girl I brought in with me.”

One of them points to the far right corner of the room, “Over there, but-”

I don’t stay to hear the rest of her sentence and speed walk to where Dakota was. Halfway through I realized I wasn’t wearing any shoes, but I could honestly care less. I stopped about several feet away from her bed. The dust in my eyes must’ve made me blind because now that it’s all clear, she doesn’t look anything like what I remembered. She looks so much worse.

The nurse sitting next to her was finishing the last of the stitches on her left hand, which alone looked like it had been run over by a truck. There was a huge scar on her forehead and her torso was fully-wrapped in a white bandage. The only part of her that wasn’t damaged was her feet, but I could tell even if she was unconscious, she was in pain because her eyes kept wincing under her lids.

My Dakota, how can someone so strong look so fragile?

The nurse spots me and a look of pity fills her face, “She’ll be okay…”

“But?”

She sighs, “Her hands. She won’t be able to be a nurse again.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

Standing up, she approaches me and offers me a handkerchief. I didn’t even realize I was crying.

“Her hands were burnt pretty bad and I could tell something must’ve impacted them before she hit the ground. I’ve seen the same injuries before, and they completely kill the steadiness of her hands, she won’t be able to hold a needle and thread without tremors.”

I stood there motionless, the reality slipping into my thoughts, “Does that mean she’ll be…”

“I’m so sorry,” the nurse sighs, “they usually send injured nurses back home a week after they’re well enough to fly back.”

“That’s too soon.”

She pats my back, “I’m sure she’ll wait for you.”

That’s the thing. She won’t.

She leaves me alone with Dakota and I sit on the seat she previously occupied. In fear of making the situation worse, I simply hold her forearm as opposed to her hands and caress it slowly.

“I know you’re listening to me,” I tell her, “I know you’re there. Please wake up, I promise I won’t run again. I’ll let you explain everything just please, don’t leave me.”

No answer, just as I expected. I close my eyes and lay my forehead on the tough mattress.

“Mate, I know you’re up there. Please, tell whatever God is up there that I’d gladly take her place. Mate I can’t live knowing that her life ends here. Help me.”

I could no longer control the heart-wrenching sobs I’ve been holding back, “Come back to me please, baby.”

Dakota’s POV

“Come back to me please, baby.”

I’m here, Jamie. I’m not going anywhere. I’m trying desperately to scream it at him, to make some sort of indication that I’m fine and that I know he’s here beside me. I want so badly to hold him in my arms, his tears ripping my heartstrings apart, one at a time.

I feel myself slipping away again and I try to fight it.

Jamie…

Jamie’s POV

It’s been six hours and she hasn’t moved an inch. Numerous people have tried to coax me back to bed but I’ve refused every single time. I need to be the first thing she sees when she awakes, I want her to know that I’m always here for her. In the time I’ve spent next to her I’ve only stood up once to put a shirt only. Other than that I’ve refused all the other offers for food. I’ll eat when she’s awake.

I lay my head on the bed once again, still chanting up a silent prayer to Charlie.

All of a sudden, I hear a weak murmur come from her mouth.

I sit up straight almost immediately, “Dakota?”

“Hmm,” she replies, wincing as she moves her head in my direction.

“Oh praise Jesus!” I say, “Ssh, don’t move sweetheart, you’re hurt.”

“I…need…” she croaks out.

“What, what do you need?”

A frown appears on her pretty little forehead and a hiss escapes her throat, “I’m thirsty,”

I quickly stand up and pour her a glass of water from the bedside table. Helping her sit up, I place my hand firmly on her back as I bring the glass to her lips. Her expression was all I needed to see to know just how she was in agony at the moment and I wish that there was some way I could take the pain away from her. After letting her drink, I lay her down back on the bed as gently as I could and slowly caress the top of her head.

She turns to face me, “Are you alright?”

“Don’t worry about me right now, you focus on getting better.”

“Jamie I never meant to hurt yo-”

“I don’t need to hear it right now,”

“But,”

I shake my head, “Dakota, whatever it is, I forgive you. Just please, get some rest because you need it more than ever.”

She gasps, “Oh my God, have you seen Olivia?”

“Olivia’s fine,” I nod, “she’s very worried about you.”

“Thank God! I can’t believe this happened.”

Sighing, I twirl a strand of her hair with my fingers, “I was so close to losing you.”

She shakes her head as slow as ever, “It’s going to take more than that to bring me down.”

I couldn’t help but smile, she still attempts to be cheerful even after destruction. She looks around the room, looking for familiar faces I assume before she turns back to me.

“Did they tell you how soon until I’m good to go?”

“Go where?”

“You know,” she says, very matter-of-factly, “I need to help these people as well.”

I stiffen, “Just get better.”

She notices the change in my expression and my body language straight away, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Jamie, I know you’re hiding something, tell me what’s wrong.”

“I don’t want you to get hurt all over again.”

This time, I see fear in her eyes, “Please tell me.”

When I don’t budge, she attempts to move her right hand to hold mine but she could barely lift it as high as two centimetres before it starts shaking terribly. A look of realization comes over her and her eyes bolt to mine.

“What’s wrong with my hands?”

“Dakota…”

“Jamie Dornan, tell me what happened to my hands right now or so help me God!”

A tear escapes from my left eye and I release a deep sigh, “Your hands were badly damaged and you’re going to have tremors for a long time.”

“B-but they’ll be fine in a few weeks, right? I’ll be able to go back to helping people like I used to, right?”

Shaking my head, her eyes widen before they start to cloud with tears, “I’m so sorry, baby. I’m so sorry.”

“Jamie, you’re lying!” she screams out.

“I’m so, so sorry, please forgive me.”

She breaks down right in front of me and all I could do is place myself as close to her as I could without hurting her. I place soft kisses on her hair and gently caress her forearm as she drowns herself in her pain.

“Please,” she begs through her sobs, “tell me it isn’t true.”

I place another kiss on the top of her head, “I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

She shakes her head as she turns and places our foreheads together, needing me as much as I need her.

[tendernessfic]

Chapter Fourteen

Jamie’s POV

My instincts told me that there was no way I could make it out alive if I went in. But my heart told me that she was still in there and I needed to save her. So I do what I know I would’ve done anyway. I cover my nose and mouth with the palm of my hand and bolt inside. The smoke was already creating an internal cloud, blocking my view of the numerous hallways. I could tell that the survivors were now rushing outside, many of them nurses and doctors who were carrying patients.

“Get out, hurry!” I tell them as I run further into the nurses’ quarters.

Along the way, I hear other soldiers start making their way inside in an attempt to save as many people as they could. I knew I was being selfish for letting so many people fend on their own, but deep down I knew that I only wanted to save one person in this building.

Good Lord, please tell me she came down from the roof. Please.

“Help, please help!” I hear someone screech from near me.

Looking to my right, I spot Olivia crouched against the corner. I couldn’t leave her there so I approached her and swung her left arm over my shoulder.

“Easy, I’ll get you out.”

She started coughing, “D-D-Dakota-”

I lifted her off the ground in order to get out of there faster, which would give me more time to find her, “Where is she?”

“Sh-she w-w-as g-going t-t-to the n-nur-nur-sery.”

“Fuck,” I cursed to myself. The nursery was in the west wing, now almost entirely engulfed in flames.

I furiously looked around to see if there was someone else able to help. I spot a soldier a couple of feet away and scream out for him.

“You’re safe now, I have to find her.”

“Go, Jamie! B-bring her b-back!”

The archway that separated the main foyer and the west wing was so fragile, I knew there was a huge chance neither of us would make it out alive. But I had to try, I’m not going to lose her. My eyes stung and I felt myself getting lightheaded from the smoke and dust that I inhaled. Around me laid several burning bodies, which only increased the beating of my heart. Please, Lord, please.

“Dakota!”

I yell out her name and unsurprisingly am only greeted by silence. The doorway to the nursery was blocked, which made my heart ache. All of the helpless children who were inside, God bless their souls. I crossed my fingers and begged God to please let her be somewhere around me. I knew that I had to leave soon, otherwise I, myself would be unconscious within the next ten minutes.

I decided to try again, “Dakota!”

With some sort of miracle, I hear a soft voice coming out from the far end of the hallway, “Jamie…”

My head snaps in that direction and I take off. I find her, stuck underneath a massive chunk of wood I could only assume fell from the roof. Thank God it wasn’t burning, although the cut on her head and the fact that she was half conscious concerned me even more. I used all the strength that I had to lift the thing off her. As soon as I succeeded, I lifted her up and cradled her close to my chest.

“I’m getting you out of here. Stay with me, baby.”

Her shirt was stained red and both of her hands were burnt badly and I knew a couple of fingers were broken, I’ve seen the same injuries before. Her breaths were short, alerting me that as soon as I got her out, she needed immediate medical attention. I heard the impact of structures falling apart behind me and ran with all my might.

The oxygen that filled my lungs as I reached the outside nearly knocked me to the ground. I could feel Dakota’s heartbeat flow even further and tried to focus my sight on what was happening outside. I spotted an emergency tent and went to it.

“Please, please help her!” I scream at the top of my lungs.

I could barely make out who took her out of my arms because as soon as she was taken away, I lost whatever strength I had left and collapsed onto the floor.

“Sir, sir, are you okay?”

I felt myself drifting off but I forced myself to mumble out the only priority I had, “Save my girl…”

“SIR!”

[tendernessfic]

Chapter Thirteen

Jamie’s POV

Hi darling,

How are you? I heard of the explosion that happened and I wanted to ask if you’re well? Well, if you don’t write back then we’ll know the answer to that. I know, that wasn’t funny. I’m worried sweetheart, you haven’t written to me for abut a month now – but your dad tells me you’re alive and well because you have been writing to him. Are you mad at me for some reason? Don’t shut me out, how are we going to spend the rest of our lives with each other if you’re like this?

Dakota, I want you to come home. I know I’ve told you this numerous times but I truly believe you can if you tried. I’m sick of being here alone and waiting for you. I want us to start our life together. Write back to me soon, I miss you.

Yours,

Albert.

Dakota’s POV

My eyes flutter open and I shiver at the coldness of the air that surrounded me. I remembered that I was still naked and smiled at the memory of what occurred last night. Jamie was missing from my side so I decided to throw my dress back on to see what he was doing outside.

“Jamie?” I called out for him as I ducked out the tent.

He was standing there, stiff as a rock and red as blood. Something was wrong, I knew it. He was so angry he was almost shaking. My eyes travelled down to a piece of paper in his hand that he seemed to want to crumble to pieces.

I approach him slowly, “What’s wrong?”

His eyes dart to mine but I couldn’t see the warmth and love that was usually there, it was replaced with coldness and hatred, “What’s this?” he asks as he hands the paper over to me.

It took me three seconds after reading the first line to realise that he had read a letter from Albert, “Jamie I can ex-”

“You’re engaged?”

“I wanted to tell you!”

“When?” He yells, “Today? Tomorrow? Or perhaps all of this was a lie and you only wanted me here to keep you warm while you get to run back to your fiancée in a few months?”

My eyes stung with tears, “I swear I meant to tell you. It’s been killing me inside and I promised myself that after the bomb I’d tell you, and I was going to! Jamie, I never meant for you to find out like this, please believe me.”

He scoffs, “Must be nice, huh? All this time, I thought that I could finally open my heart out to someone, that someone would actually stay with me and make me happy but I was never that to you, right? I’m just temporary, disposable.”

“No you’re not!” I reply with agony, “Jamie, the time I’ve spent with you has been indescribable and what I feel for Albert is nothing compared to what I feel for you!”

“Then tell me something, Dakota. Were you ever planning on leaving him?”

I fall silent.

He balls his palms up into fists, “Unbelievable.”

“Jamie, you have to understand that there are circumstances I can’t-”

“I can’t believe you still have the nerve to stand there and tell me that you love me when you never even considered leaving him!”

“If you’ll just calm down, I’ll explain everything-”

“Save it.” He spits out.

Jamie stomps back to the tent and quickly puts his shirt on and swings his gun around his back before heading towards the door. Tears were now streaming freely down my cheeks as I beg for him to stay.

“I trusted you. I gave you my heart.”

My own heart breaks into a thousand pieces as I hear those words, “Jamie, please,”

“Goodbye, Dakota.”

Jamie’s POV

I sprint down the stairs, taking two steps at a time and with every step I leave another piece of my heart behind. Heartbroken doesn’t even cover how I feel right now. Betrayed, angered, but most of all, disappointed at the fact that I was still hurting over the fact that I left her up there, crying on her own. What has she done to me?

I love her, no question. And I hate that this revelation didn’t change that.

A part of me wanted to go back up, to let her explain everything. But I had too much pride and I knew that there was no way she was going to leave whoever Albert was for me. Why would she anyway? He was probably perfect, waiting for her back home, ready to welcome her with open arms. Why would she want to stay with someone who could die at any second and had no real chance of having a future with?

The further I got from the hospital, the more intense the pain in my heart felt. It was as if a string attached us to each other and the further I walked away, the further it strained. I knew there was only one thing I could do, and that was to numb the pain. As I was about to enter the pub, not caring if it was early morning, the sounds of shattering screams filled my ears, followed by the roar of warplanes above my head.

I knew what that meant, another bomb is due to be dropped at any second now, and almost instinctively, my grip on my weapon tightened. My eyes flipped up to the sky and followed where the planes were headed. Within seconds, realisation hits me and I bolt as fast as I could.

I wasn’t fast enough. The dark object was thrown down from the plane and I knew exactly where it was going to hit.

“No, no, no, NO!” I scream at the top of my lungs.

The deafening explosion sounds out and a humongous flame erupts through the hospital.  

I knew there was a chance I just lost her, because I felt the string that connected the both of us snap into two.

[tendernessfic]

Chapter Twelve

“Where are you taking me?”

“Just shut it, will you? You’ll love it?”

“Dakota,”

“Jamie,” I stop him, “trust me.”

He sighs as we continue up the stairs, “I’m getting tired so we better be stopping at one point.”

I roll my eyes as we reach the top step and I open the door that awaits. A burst of sunlight immediately shines upon us and we are greeted by the sound of birds flying across the horizon. I hear a small gasp escape his lips as we both step onto the open roof. To our left was the tent that Olivia told me about earlier.

“Why is there a tent there?”

“Olivia told me that she used to sneak some of her boyfriends up here, or she’d simply come up here to enjoy the view,” I say as I walk over to the edge, “you get a perfect view of the sunset and it’s a short escape from all the commotion downstairs.”

His arms wrap around my torso as he lays his chin on my shoulder, “Well I’m honoured she let me share her spot with you, I must remember to thank her one day.”

A giggle escapes my lips, “Wow, he actually stopped complaining for once.”

“Oh stop it.”

“Come on,” I say and turn around, “I have another surprise for you.”

Bringing him over to the tent, I revealed the picnic basket I had prepared earlier and dropped off inside. With a smile, he sits down and gestures for me to follow suit. We unload the food and pop open the bottle of wine I had borrowed from the dining quarters. As the sun went down, we talked about anything and everything. We debated on whether or not there were other creatures out there in the universe, if we’ll ever experience going down to the depths of the ocean and how the world will end.

“I’m just saying,” he continues on while chomping down on a sandwich, “if I had to go, I’d prefer it be over a natural disaster rather than by a gun.”

“But won’t it hurt as much?”

He shrugs, “Well, at least we know that no one’s truly at fault.”

“Somehow I think that even if a natural disaster were to happen, you’d still try to save everyone.” I smile sadly.

“Not everyone, just you.”

No longer being able to hold my affection for him, I pounce on top of him and throw my arms around his neck. He falls back onto the blankets laid down on the floor and chuckles as he joins our lips. I pull away after a few seconds and rest my head on his chest as we stare and watch as the remaining few rays of sunlight disappear from our view.

“Maybe this war will be like the sunset,”

I could tell he was furrowing his brows, “What do you mean?”

Turning to look at him, I place my palm on his cheek, “Sunsets are proof that even endings could be beautiful. Maybe all this pain will result in something incredible when it does pass.”

His lips slowly curve into a smile and he caresses the top of my head, “I want you to know something.”

“What’s that?”

He surprises me by flipping me over so that I was now placed under him. He studies me for a while, as if taking me all in. He then shakes his head in awe.

“I think I’m in love with you, Ms Johnson.”

I feel my heart swell in happiness, “I think I’m in love with you as well, Mr Dornan.”

Our lips crash onto each other’s as darkness overtakes the sky and the city is decorated with lights. My arms wrap around his neck and I moan slightly as his I feel his tongue beg for entrance. Happily letting him in, I slide my hands down his back and start to tug on his shirt. He pulls away.

“Have you?”

My cheeks heat up in an instant, “No, not yet.”

He brings his hand up to tug my hair behind my ear, “I won’t go any further if you don’t want me to.”

“Have you?”

A chuckle escapes his lips, “I’m not as innocent as you are, sweetheart.”

I motion my head towards the picnic basket, “there’s something in there for you,”

He frowns in curiosity as he dips his hand in and rummages through it before his eyes widen in shock. I bite my lip in anticipation as he pulls out the tin can that I had brought for him.

“Someone came prepared,”

Covering my face with my palms, desperately trying to hide the fact that I came up here tonight in hopes to sleep with him, “Well I thought, you know, I uh-”

“Don’t hide from me,” he says as he lifts pushes my arms away, “are you sure, though?”

Rubbing his arms, I gently nod, “If it had to be with anyone, I’d want it to be you.”

“Okay,” he smiles, “I’ll be gentle.”

My heart was racing against my chest as we lose ourselves in each other once again. Jamie assists me in my quest to take his shirt off as he unbuttons it and quickly tosses it aside. I run my left palm down his torso and convinced myself that he had been specially sculpted by the Gods themselves. I feel him start to lift up my dress and immediately stiffen.

“I want to see you,”

Letting him pull my dress off, I shiver at the sudden coldness and look away. The entire moment felt so intimate, I had never revealed so much of myself to someone.

“Hey, look at me,” he orders. I do as he says and he tilts my chin up, “You’re so beautiful, I want you to remember that.”

He surprises me by reaching behind me and unclasping my bra, further exposing me. A deep growl sounds out from his throat and I gasp as I feel his mouth on my right breast. The sensation was almost overwhelming and I felt a tingling between my legs. He tugs on my nipple slightly and although there was pain, it only heightened the pleasure that I felt. He grinds himself onto me and I feel his growing bulge on my thigh. Reaching down to his pants, I quickly unbuckle his belt and unbutton the top of his pants. He slides his underwear down along with his pants and it was insane to physically feel myself getting wetter as his erection springs free. The size of it intimidated me and I hear him smirk.

“I’m going to take care of you first.”

“What do you mean?”

Jamie lifts himself off me and proceeds to take off my panties. A wave of excitement overtakes my body as he kneels down between my legs and swings them over his shoulders. My breathing was becoming increasingly ragged and as soon as his lips make impact with my clit, I’m in seventh heaven.

My eyes roll to the back of my head in pleasure and I couldn’t help but rake my fingers through his hair. I feel his tongue deep into me and scream his name out loud.

“Good?” he asks.

I nod in response and wrap my legs around his back to encourage him to keep going. So this is why people have sex. All of a sudden I feel a pressure in my abdomen and immense pleasure. Jamie brings his tongue back on my clit and I could no longer hold what I assume was my very first orgasm. He tightens his grip on my thigh and hums in pleasure as he licks me clean.

He starts trailing kisses back up my body. Reaching over, he pops open the tin can and slides a condom onto himself. I feel my heartbeat increase again in excitement and fear. People always say that your first time is bound to hurt.

“Relax,” he says, as if reading my thoughts.

“What if I’m not, good?”

He scoffs, “I have a feeling you’re wrong.”

Positioning himself in my entrance he looks at me one more time to assure that I’m ready. I feel him enter me and I immediately hiss and feel myself clench around him.

“Fuck,” he breathes out, “you’re so tight.”

My fingers dig into his back as he holds himself from moving for a while, “Okay, I think I’m good.”

“Thank God,” he groans out as he starts to thrust.

It feels odd at first and it takes me a while to get used to the feeling of him inside me. But after I did, wow. It was so intense and it felt like I was truly giving a part of myself permanently to him. The sound of his moans were music to my ears.

“Oh shit, Dakota!”

“Faster, Jamie.”

He complies and I arch my back at the feeling of his swift thrusts. My legs wrap around his hips and he places his lips back on mine. Our kisses were getting sloppy and I could tell that he was close, so was I.

“Are you there?”

“Yes!”

“Oh shit, come with me, baby.”

I fall apart at his words and let myself go. He completely loses himself in me and I take extra pleasure in the fact that he screamed my name out loud.

“That was amazing,” he says as he comes down from his high.

My eyes were already drooping, “You were amazing.”

He chuckles as he exits me and lays by my side. Pulling the blankets over us, he cradles me in his arms and places a soft kiss on my forehead.

“Sleep, my love. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Jamie’s POV

The sound of birds chirping woke me up from my deep slumber. That was the best sleep I’ve had in months and the woman next to me is the reason for it. She was breathing softly, still stuck to my chest. For the first time in a while, I feel complete, content, as if I could conquer the world. Carefully lifting myself up, I make sure to not wake her as I grab my pants and make my way outside the tent to watch the sunrise.

I look up to the sky and smile, “Mate, if you’re up there, I want you to know that I know this was probably all you. I owe you one.”

The sound of the rooftop door opening startles me. A nurse stumbles out onto the roof and immediately blushes as she sees me, without my shirt on.

“I’m so sorry-I-uh-the letters came in and usually Dakota wants them straight away and Olivia told me she’d be up here and I just-”

“That’s fine,” I lift a hand up as I approached her, “and you are?”

“Janet, I just wanted to pass these on.” She hands over the envelopes to me and sprints off back down the stairs.

I couldn’t help but laugh, oh boy was Dakota going to love this story. I scanned through her envelopes quickly when one of them caught my eye. I felt my heart drop from fifty stories as I read who the envelope was addressed to. No, I can’t be reading this right.

“To the future Mrs Smith.”

[tendernessfic]

Chapter Eleven

“Alright, I’m going to need you to help me lift him up, ready? One, two, three, go!”

The piercing sound of the man’s screams nearly made me go deaf, but it was the only way we could fully heal him. He had a massive burn on his back and there was no way we were going to be helping him if he was lying on it. Tears streamed down his face as we slowly flipped him over. Cries and curses sounded out from all over the room. Chaos. That was the one word to describe it.

The impact of the bomb had been devastating. Not only were multiple soldiers at the site but there had been several women and children too who did nothing wrong, they were simply at the wrong place at the wrong time.

“I want my mother!”

“I’m sorry sweetheart we can’t find her yet, please let us-”

“Mommy!”

“Dakota, snap out of it!” The doctor yelled at me.

“Sorry,” I shivered, trying to block out the girl’s pleads from the bed behind me, “sir this is going to sting but it’s the only way we can fix you.”

I could tell he nearly passed out from the injection of the anaesthetic because the pain was probably indescribable. Someone from the distance alerted the entire room that more patients were being brought in as we speak and that we were going to need to work as fast as we could. As much as I tried to bring myself into the moment, I couldn’t help but think of Jamie.

He’ll come back, he’ll come back. I keep telling myself over and over again as if the more I say it, the more it’ll come true. Apparently, there had been another hit not long after the first one, which nearly made me bolt out the door if it weren’t for Olivia holding me in place. Is this punishment for not telling him my secret? Please God, if I get him back, I promise I’ll tell him. He deserves a long life, he deserves so much more.

“He’s good, go help Dr. Martin over there,” the doctor points to the right end of the room and I immediately sprint off.

Dr. Martin’s patient happened to be a woman who was holding her baby in her arms. The baby was fine. The mother, on the other hand, had tried to reduce the impact of the blast by cradling her child as close as she could to her chest, resulting in a massive blow to her head. She had been conscious up until five minutes ago and we were now trying to resuscitate her. The baby, held in another nurse’s arms was crying non-stop as if he knew he was on the verge of losing his mother.

“Call it,” Dr. Martin sighs, “she’s not coming back.”

I look at the clock on the wall, “Time of death, 1:53.”

“Anne, bring the baby to the nursery upstairs. Dakota, I want you to check on the man in bed five.”

“On it,” I say and run back to the other end of the room.

As I attempt to assist yet another doctor in fixing up the man’s arm, I glance every now and again towards the doorway, in hopes that Jamie would walk in, carrying a patient as opposed to being the patient.

“Can you handle this, that child that just came in is barely alive?”

I nod at the doctor and he leaves me alone with the patient, “Are you here with anyone?” I say in an attempt to distract him from the pain.

“No,” he shakes his head, “I was on my way home from seeing someone and just my luck…”

He hisses as the alcohol makes impact on his wound, “Sorry,” I say, “mind if I ask why you aren’t wearing a uniform?”

“I wasn’t fit enough to be a soldier.” he spits out.

Taking another glance at the doorway, I disappoint myself yet again when I still don’t see him, “My apologies, but I think you have it better than them anyway.”

“Until this fucking bomb hit. Who are you waiting for?”

“No one.”

He rolls his eyes, “You keep looking there as if you’re waiting for someone to be brought in, boyfriend?”

My cheeks turn bright red, “Just a friend who I don’t want to lose.”

The man studies my expression, I could tell he could see just how anxious I was because even though my hands were steady, sweat was dripping down my forehead and I was breathing heavily.

“He’ll be fine,” he reassures me.

I shook my head, “You don’t know that.”

“If he’s a soldier, he knows what he’s doing.”

I sincerely hoped he was right. Another hour passed by and there was no sign of Jamie. Even more patients were brought in over the hour until it came to the point where we had to lay down blankets on the floor in order to accommodate them. Anyone who didn’t make it was brought up to the morgue immediately and would be autopsied later. All of a sudden, I hear my name called out as loud as day.

“Dakota!”

Turning around in an instant, I spot Jamie frantically searching the room for me. I nearly drop everything I had in my hands when Olivia swooped in.

“Go, I can handle this.”

Tossing over the equipment to her, I run to him with all that I have, “Jamie! Over here!”

He looks at me as if he had just lost ten years of his life and runs in my direction, throwing his arms around me as soon as he reaches me. Tears fall from my eyes instinctively and words couldn’t describe how thankful I was to be in his arms. I was still sobbing uncontrollably when I feel him flinch. Pulling away, I notice a massive burn on his collarbone and gasp.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were hurt?”

“It’s not that bad-”

“Shut up,” I say as I sit him down on the nearest chair, “this will get infected if you leave it like this!”

A cocky grin is plastered on his face, “I love it when you give me medical talk- ow!”

“Suits you right.” I stick my tongue out at him while disinfecting the wound.

He reaches his hand out and wipes the remainder of the tears on my cheeks, “You can stop now, I’m right here.”

“I know,”

“I mean it, I’m here.”

The dam bursts and I start crying all over again. Jamie pulls me onto his lap and holds me tight in his arms while I push my face into his neck. He buries his nose in my hair and shushes me over and over again.

“I’m here, darling. I’m not going anywhere.”

[tendernessfic]

Chapter Ten

“Hey, the patient in bed 5 has wounds that need redressing.”

“But he’s not my patient!”

She glares at me, “Can’t you see we’re short of hands right now?”

“Romy please, I have somewhere to b-”

“Dakota, we need you here right now, it’s your duty to be here.”

I quickly silence myself before a spiteful comment slips out of my mouth. Simply nodding and giving up, I walk over to the patient that needed my attention and focused on tending to his wounds. Looking at the clock on the wall, I saw that it was already 7:30PM and I was due to meet Jamie at our spot any minute. I had no time to send him a telegram because of how chaotic the hospital was at the moment so I’m simply going to have to apologize to him later. If he decides to ever see me again, that is.

“Hey, when you're done with that I could use some help with that guy over there,” Romy calls out from afar and points to another bed on the far side of the hall.

I sigh; usually, I’d be more than happy to help but ever since Jamie and I have been going out I’ve done nothing but look forward to my shifts ending. Given the fact that a war was still happening out there, we could only see each other every few days and knowing that I could lose him at any moment made me look forward to our reunions even more.

An ache in my heart reappeared, reminding me that I had been hiding something quite important from him. I really do need to tell him, but the past 3 weeks have been so good – something out of a fairytale even. When I’m with him, I feel content, complete, as if I’ve been missing something my entire life and he’s brought it to me.

“You alright there, lady?”

Snapping myself out of my daze, I realize that I’ve been staring at nothing for the past few minutes with the needle and thread suspended mid-air.

“Sorry, I’m distracted.”

“No problem, how bout you make it up for me by letting me take you out for dinner after I get better?”

I throw him a polite smile, “Thanks, but you should try the other nurses around here.”

“Shame,” he clucks his tongue, “you’re a pretty one.”

Trying to hide the fact that I just cringed at his comment, I start stitching him up in lightning speed, wanting to move away as fast as I can. I spent the rest of the night running around the hall as another wave of patients were brought in soon after. By the time I finally got the chance to sit down and catch a breather, it was nearly midnight. I slide my palm over my eyes, imagining Jamie out there, still waiting for me. Oh god, I hope he’s not angry at me.

“Excuse me, can I get some more water here?” someone calls out.

Taking a deep breath, I plastered a fake smile on my face and poured some water into a glass before heading over to the designated patient. He takes the glass gratefully and gulps it down before handing it back over to me.

“Um, miss?”

“Yeah?”

He points to the doorway, “Not to alarm you but there’s someone staring at you.”

Turning to where he was pointing, I spot Jamie leaning against the wall, frowning at me. He was holding a bouquet of flowers in his right hand which further intensified the guilt I felt towards him. I head to where he was standing and he clears his throat.

“You look familiar,”

“Hi,” I reply with a timid voice, “I’m sorry.”

“I waited for you.”

“I know.”

“For four hours.”

My eyes closed, “I’m sorry.”

He looks around the hall and at the occupied beds, “I’m guessing these people kept you here?”

“I tried to leave but they wouldn’t let me. Then they brought more soldiers in and by the time I got a little peace and quiet it was already too late.”

Jamie’s expression changes from frustration to concern, “Have you been here since this morning?”

“Sorta,”

“Dakota you need to rest,”

I scoff, “I don’t think that’s really an option at the moment.”

“You should’ve told them your shift was over.”

“It wouldn’t have made a difference,” I shrug, “not when things are hectic like today.”

He shakes his head in disapproval, “I don’t want you to suddenly drop dead in exhaustion.”

A smile instinctively makes its way onto my face, “I could say the same for you.” I step closer to him.

“Here,” he hands the flowers over to me, “consider this a deal, I won’t die if you don’t.”

“Deal,” I say as I breathe in the wonderful scent, “these are beautiful, Jamie.”

He reaches his hand out to tuck a stray hair behind my ear, “Just like you.” Leaning down, he places a soft kiss on my temple, “Can I steal you away for a couple of minutes?”

I look back at the hall, where the sound of snoring clearly indicated that most of the men were knocked out. The other nurses could handle them for a couple of moments. Nodding at him, he takes my hand and pulls me along with him as he walks us outside the hospital. He sits us both down on the stairs before pulling out a flask from one of his pockets and handing it over to me. I take a small sip and shiver at how strong whatever the drink was; he simply laughs before taking a sip himself.

“Hey Jamie?”

“Hm?”

“If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?”

He thinks about it for a while, “Ireland.”

“Ireland?”

He turns to look at me, “Yeah, I miss my family.”

My heart twists up inside, the fact that he admitted it to me makes it even more meaningful, “I’m sure they miss you too.”

He pushes my head onto his shoulder so that I would lay down on it, “I want to take you there someday.”

My smile fades away from my face, “Jamie, I need to tell you something.”

“What is it, sweetheart?”

Before I get a chance to answer him, a bright explosion illuminates the dark sky from a close distance and I hear the sounds of people screaming from afar. Jamie stands up almost immediately and starts dragging me towards the hospital entrance.

“Go inside and don’t come out.”

“Wait, where are you going?”

“Dakota, a bomb went off, I have to go.”

“No!” I scream as I pull on his shirt, “Let someone else handle it and please stay with me!”

A look of worry flashes across his eyes but he quickly brushes it off and gives me a quick kiss, “I’ll see you soon, I promise. There will probably be more patients coming in in a while just promise me you won’t go outside.”

Tears build up in my eyes, “Please stay with me.”

“I have to go, I’ll come back.” He reassures me one last time before running off.

I yell his name at the top of my lungs but he was already running towards whatever commotion there was out there. The tears cascade down my cheeks as I ran inside to alert the other nurses that there was a situation close by.

I chanted a silent prayer over and over again. Please God, bring him back to me. Please, please, please.

[tendernessfic]

Chapter Nine

I hear knocks on the bathroom door and immediately groan, “Just a minute!”

“You’ve been in there for nearly an hour, Dakota! Some of us have work to get to!”

Focusing on the mirror in front of me, I slip in the last pin that would secure my up-do for the rest of the night. Quickly brushing my bangs into place, I smile at my reflection and unlocked the door. Whoever it was on the other end muttered a curse under her breath but I simply ignored it and walked away. I was too excited for tonight and nothing was going to rain on my parade.

I snatched my purse from the top of my bed and headed off towards the entrance of the hospital, where Jamie promised me he’d wait for me through a telegram I received earlier. Approaching the archway, I see him standing there, his back to me. He had on his uniform, gun swung over his back as if he was ready to go to battle.

I stopped in my footsteps and smiled, “Hi, soldier.”

He turns around and looks at me from head to toe, “Wow,” he lets out a whistle.

I do a twirl, letting my skirt flow, “What do you think?”

“I think,” he says as he steps closer to me, “that I’ve just found the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.”

My cheeks immediately turn a bright red, “You’re too kind.”

Extending his arm out, he winks, “Shall we?”

I gratefully take his waiting arm and he proceeds to lead me outside. I have no idea where he’s taking me, but I’m guessing it wouldn’t be somewhere too public, considering the weapon he brought.

“Do you always have to take that with you?” I ask him.

“I’m just being safe,” he smiles sadly, “you never know when you might need it.”

I frown, “You didn’t have it the other night at the pub?”

“That was because there were tons of soldiers there. Where we’re going, I’d hate it if it were crowded.”

Tightening my grip on his arm, I lay my head on his shoulder, “And where might that be?”

“Just wait and see.”

We walk for another 20 minutes and to be honest, I’m quite scared he’s taking me out to kill me. I see nothing around me but forest and given the fact it was nighttime; I could barely see anything.

“You know, if you wanted to kill me, you could’ve shot me ages ago.”

Even though I could barely make out the expression on his face, I could tell he was rolling his eyes, “Very funny.”

“Seriously though,” I press him further, “where are we?”

“Here.”

All of a sudden, we step out into a clearing and the bright moonlight shines down on us. There was nothing in front of us but miles and miles of grass and I could hear the sounds of crickets chirping around us.

“I thought we could sit out here and talk.”

I turn to face him, “Sounds good to me.”

We both sit down against a tall tree and he entwines our fingers. I let out a satisfied hum while he caresses my thumb with his.

“How’d you find this place?”

He chuckles sadly, “It’s not exactly a happy story,” I face him and he clearly sees the confusion in my eyes, “I was out here for battle.”

Goosebumps ran up my spine, “Oh. Did you um, did people-”

“Not right here, but further down,” he points to the far distance.

I immediately release a sigh of relief, “Why did you bring me here then?”

He turns to the left, “If you walk a couple of miles in that direction, you’ll find my base. Although this place doesn’t exactly have happiness plastered all over it, I find myself returning every once in a while. I simply sit here and think about everything and nothing, often discovering new things about myself that I didn’t know before.”

His eyes seemed to indicate that he was deep in thought and I could tell that he considered this place his sanctuary, despite all the bad things that have happened here.

“Jamie?”

“Yes?”

“You know I’m here for you, right?”

Turning towards me, he tightens his grip on my fingers and nods, “I know. But you and I both know I’m not exactly an expert on opening up.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I reply sarcastically.

He nudges my shoulder with his, “You want to see something amazing?”

“What?”

Pulling out a flashlight from his pocket, he switches it on and off several times, pointing it out into the field. Within a matter of seconds, a thousand fireflies came out of hiding and decorated our scenery with beautiful, glimmering lights. I gasp in awe, feeling like a kid again and wanting to run around and catch them all in a jar.

“Jamie,”

“Beautiful, right?”

Rendered speechless, I simply sigh out loud and bite my lip. I feel him tilt my chin towards his face so that I was looking straight into his eyes.

“I’m beginning to think it was fate you know, for you to just happen to be the first person who took care of me that day.”

I shook my head, “It wasn’t fate, I’m pretty sure it was Charlie.”

He looks up at the sky and smiles, “Thanks, mate.”

Good Lord help me, there was no way this one night with this man would be enough.

[tendernessfic]

Chapter Eight

“And then he what?”

“Yeah!” I shake my head in disbelief, “He kissed me!”

Olivia blinked a couple of times before urgently standing up and clapping her hands, “Oh my God, this is the best thing that has come out of this war! I can’t believe my sweet little Dakota finally got some action!”

“Ssh!” I motion for her to calm down, “Someone might hear you!”

She rolls her eyes, “Please, like anyone here would care.”

I pinched the tip of my nose with two fingers. I spent the entirety of last night wide awake, thinking of what that kiss meant. Just over 12 hours ago, we hated each other; couldn’t stand the presence of one another. And then there we were, in each other’s arms as if nothing else in the world mattered.

“Well?”

“Well what?” I answered, not bothering to open my eyes.

She places her hand on my shoulder and swirls me around so that I was facing her, “Did you like it?” I feel my cheeks heat up as I look away. She laughs and winks at me, “That good, huh?”

“Shut up.”

“Oh will you just admit that you like him?”

I scoffed, “The only thing I know is that I’m terribly confused.”

“Dakota, please,” she throws her hands up in frustration, “the two of you have always found it impossible to stay away from each other in spite of the fact that the two of you are polar opposites. You fight, make up, fight, make up but at the end of the day you can’t seem to get enough of each other. There’s a reason why you’ve been so hurt over him being hard on you this entire time and it isn’t because you hate him.”

Not knowing what to say, I simply start drawing circles around one of my charts. Eventually, Olivia grips my palm to stop me.

“I don’t know, Olivia.”

“Well then I think you’re going to have to figure it out.”

“Why?”

“Because someone’s looking for you.”

I raise my head and my eyes immediately darted towards the doorway. Standing there was Jamie in full uniform, gun swung over his back, eyes scanning the room as if searching for something. It wasn’t long after that he found what he was looking for, me. He started walking over to where Olivia and I were sitting. He stops after reaching us and clears his throat.

“Good morning, ladies.”

“Good morning, James.” Olivia smiles, “Are you here because you’re hurt?”

He shakes his head, “If you’ll allow me, I wish to speak to miss Johnson right here.”

“Of course you may, I’ll give you both some privacy.” She throws me a wink before heading off to find a patient to keep her occupied.

He walks around me and sits down on the seat previously occupied by Olivia, “Hi.”

“Hi,”

Tapping several fingers on the tip of his chin, he seemed to be thinking about what to say next, “Did you have a good sleep last night?”

“Not really,” I shrugged and looked down, “I had too much stuff on my mind.”

He let me play with my fingers for a while before placing his palm on top of mine, “Dakota look at me.”

My eyes shoot to his and I immediately flush seeing the expression on his face. Not only was a smirk plastered on his lips, his eyes were studying me in depth, clearly liking what he saw. He scoots closer to me and holds both my hands in between his.

“About last night,”

I bite my lip, “What about it?”

“Last night was the happiest I’ve been since I lost Charlie.”

That statement gave me goosebumps, “Really?”

“Yeah,” he sighs, “I never thought I could ever laugh like that again.”

I run my thumb over his, “You want to know something?” He nods, “Last night was fun for me too.”

He grins like a Cheshire cat and lifts one hand to twist some of my hair with his fingers, “So I guess it’s safe to assume that if I ask you to go on a proper date with me, you’d say yes?” he asks while playing with my hair.

“That depends.”

“On what?”

“On where you’re taking me.”

He gives me his signature eyebrow raise, “What if it’s a surprise?”

“Well then it better be a good one.”

“Challenge accepted.”

I giggle and stand up, “Get lost, I have patients to attend to.”

Clearing his throat, he stands up straight and brushes the wrinkles out of his uniform. He steps closer to me and tilts my chin to the left before placing a kiss on my cheek.

“How does tomorrow night sound for you?”

“You really have the time for this?”

“I’m making it my mission to always have time for you. Well, if I’m not dead at least.”

The expression on my face changes to a dark one, “That’s not funny.”

He laughs, “I’m just joking.”

“Do I look like I’m laughing?”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he continues to chuckle as his arms wrap around my torso, “I do owe you for saving my life.”

“Well then I guess you’ll repay it tomorrow night.”

“It’s a date then.”

He gives my cheek another kiss before letting me go and saluting several other nurses in the hall, extending a special wave to Olivia. After he exits the room, Olivia flails her arms to catch my attention from the other end of the room and pretends to faint. I mouth an inaudible curse to her but smile as I do so.

“The mail’s here!” One of the nurses yells out as she drops the basket of letters she was holding onto the floor.

The rest of us hurry over to her and start searching through the pile for our names. I quickly recognized two for me. The handwriting on one envelope immediately alerted me that it was from my dad. I smiled and tucked it behind the other, only to stiffen immediately. I recognized this handwriting too. Quickly ripping it open, an overwhelming sense of guilt washed over me.

“You alright there?” Olivia asks.

I quickly tuck the letter into my pocket, “Yeah.”

“You sure?” She presses further.

I simply nod as a response and walk out to get some food for my patients. Jamie came into my mind and I closed my eyes, wondering if I should cancel my plans with him tomorrow night. But then again how will I get the news to him?

“Just one date,” I tell myself.

Who knows? Maybe last night was a fluke. Maybe, we go out tomorrow night and we figure out we’re not compatible after all.

There’s only one problem; that kiss last night told me all I needed to know, and that is how we are extremely compatible and attracted to each other.

[tendernessfic]

Chapter Seven

“Why are you making me go to this thing again?”

“Because you’re always in the hospital and one of these days we might die, and you’re not going down without having a little bit of fun.”

I glare at her, “That’s not funny.”

“Oh will you lighten up; it was a joke!” Olivia rolls her eyes as she continues to drag me down the path, “there’s going to be so many handsome men tonight!”

I sigh and pull her closer to the sidewalk as a car passes by, “I’d rather be in bed right now, reading a book.”

She stops in her tracks, turns around and folds her arms across her chest, “Look, you gotta stop being a party pooper. Dakota, all we ever do is take care of dying men! You need to learn to let go of all your responsibilities for once and interact with men who are actually living.”

“I told you I’m not interested in starting a relationship or whatever.”

She shrugs and starts walking again, “That’s great! That way, you won’t get attached and emotional when they either leave or die on us.”

“Olivia,” I warn her.

Letting out a laugh she smiles at me, “One night, Dakota. That’s all I’m asking.”

I sigh, nodding as I follow her to wherever she’s taking me. Apparently, there was a party downtown near our hospital where many soldiers were gathered to drink and have fun while they had some free time. A couple of the nurses, including Olivia, were super ecstatic at the idea of socializing and hoping to find a charming one to sweep them off their feet, but I was nowhere near that mood. It’s been a week and I was still upset at how I ended things with Jamie. Meeting him and thinking that I had a chance to make him happy was a complete waste of my time.

We got closer to the pub where this charade was happening. The sounds of Jazz cooed through the streets and I could see that the place was packed. The ladies that were there were all dolled-up; thank God Olivia convinced me to not wear my nursing uniform. I was wearing an A-line skirt that stopped just below my knees and a white button down top, my hair tied up in a ponytail. This was probably the first time I have ever considered myself attractive after the war started.

“We’re going to have so much fun tonight!” Olivia squeals as she pushes the door open.

I was immediately greeted by the smell of alcohol and cigarettes, along with endless chatter. She drags me to the bar and places a glass in my hand. I take one sip and cringe, whatever it was tasted awful. I carefully set the glass back on the countertop and observe my surroundings.

“Dakota, Olivia!”

I turn to whoever was calling us and smiled, “Adam!”

Adam walked over to us and signalled one of his mates to come along, “Didn’t think we’d finally see the old witch come out of hiding.”

Rolling my eyes, I smack his chest, “Very funny.”

“This is Mark,” he introduces us to the man standing next to him, “Mark, meet Dakota and Olivia.”

Olivia immediately starts batting her eyelashes, “How do you do?”

“Very well, now that you’re here.” He flirts back with her and offers her his hand, “Can I interest you in a dance?”

She takes his hand with pleasure, “You most certainly may.”

Adam shakes his head as the two run off into the distance, “What about you, eh? What do you feel like doing?”

“Honestly?” I raise an eyebrow, “I feel like going home. Olivia won’t even notice I’m gone in a few minutes.”

He pouts, “Don’t say that. I’d notice if you were gone.”

I purse my lips and smack him again, deciding to take another sip of the drink I found disgusting a few seconds ago. If I’m going to stay here, I might as well make something out of it. Turning to Adam, I found that he was already occupied with a lady on his left who seemed to be very intriguing in conversation. I decided I needed to find someone else to talk to. Squeezing myself into the crowd, I attempted to search for one of the nurses that I recognized earlier.

“Dakota?”

I recognize the voice immediately and freeze. Looking to my right, I find Jamie, leaning against a wall with a drink in his hand. He sets it down and moves forward, I immediately back away.

His brows furrow at my reaction, “What are you doing here?”

“That’s none of your business.”

“I didn’t mean it that way,” he huffs in frustration, “you just don’t seem like the type to, you know, go out.”

I roll my eyes, “I know, I’m a goody-two-shoes or whatever, excuse me.”

No longer feeling like I belong here, I leave my own drink on a nearby table and walk out the door, immediately sighing at getting fresh air. I hear the door open and close behind me and close my eyes, please tell me it isn’t…

“Where are you going?”

“Home.”

He walks in front of me, “But you just got here?”

“What’s it to you anyway? It’s not like we’re friends.”

The expression on his face changes from amusement to anxiousness, “Look, I’m sorry about last week.” He says as he steps closer to me, “I appreciate your efforts, I really do.”

“Jamie, shit, I’m sorry I meant James-”

He raises his palm, “That’s alright, you can call me Jamie.”

“That’s not what’s important. What’s important is the fact that I have no interest in talking to you, good night.”

He catches my arm before I have a chance to make a run for it, “Dakota, I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry about?”

He goes silent, clearly not knowing what to say, “I don’t know, I just-”

“Have a nice life, Jamie.”

“I’m sorry for being an ass all the time,” he spits out, “I’m sorry for not appreciating you enough and for drowning myself in my sorrows as opposed to actually doing anything about it.”

As he lets go of my arm, my glare at him softens, “Thank you.”

He exhales in relief and nods his head back to the bar, “Do you want to go back in?”

I contemplate it for a while and decided that me going home wasn’t going to do anybody any good now. I nod at him and he leads me back inside, his hand on my back the whole time. I don’t know if I’m so comfortable with that idea but I’m hoping this could be a sign of us actually getting somewhere. We reach a table at the back corner of the pub and he pulls a chair out for me before heading off to the bar to grab us some more drinks. I was happy to be seated there as it was a pretty secluded spot. I could breathe easily and it didn’t feel stuffy. Once he returns, he sets both of our drinks on the table and takes the seat across from mine.

“Did you come here alone?”

I took a sip and shake my head, “Olivia’s around here somewhere.” He gave me a look of confusion and I reply, “She’s a close friend of mine.”

“A fellow nurse?”

“It’s more than that,” I tell him, “we’re both from America and at the beginning, she was the only one who wanted to talk to me.”

He cocks his head to the left, “Why is that?”

“We nurses tend to keep to ourselves. I mean, I can’t compare it to what you men go through but some of the things we see are pretty horrible. At the end of the day, none of us bother to make the effort to socialize, except Olivia.”

Tapping on the edge of his glass, he gave me an understanding look, “I know the feeling.”

Beside me were two people who were canoodling around. The man had his arm around her waist while she had hers all over his back. They placed their lips on each others’ and I laughed while Jamie scoffed.

“Look at them,” he shakes his head.

“Jealous much?”

He snorts, “No.”

“Oh come on, none of these ladies your type?” I gesture around the room.

He doesn’t even bother to look at anyone before downing his drink, “I just don’t see the point of trying when I might not even be alive tomorrow.”

I pout, “But that’s exactly the thing. You might not even be here tomorrow, so why don’t you go have some fun while you’re at it?”

“Olivia told you that, didn’t she?”

My cheeks turn a bright red, “Guilty. I said the exact same thing you did.”

Letting out a chuckle, he shakes his head, “All that time taking care of sick men and never once did any of them rub off on you?”

“There were a few charming ones,” I shrug, “but I’m just generally not interested.”

“There must’ve been a few who tried?”

“Well yeah, but I always say no.”

He raises an eyebrow and offers his hand out to me, “Dance with me?”

“Absolutely not.” I burst out laughing.

“Hey,” he challenges, “you were the one who wanted to be friends. I’m trying here.”

I bite my lip and place my palm in his. He quickly pulls me out of my seat and onto the dance floor. There wasn’t much place to move since it was so crowded, so we were practically pressed against each other. The couple next to us did all sorts of fancy stuff. Jamie looks down at me and winks before twirling me around and lifting me off the ground. I squeal as he moves me quick yet precisely, his competitive instincts clearly kicking in. By the time the song ends, we were both panting in exhaustion but both displayed grins on our faces.

His arms were still around me, “Come on, let’s go outside.”

With my hand in his, he drags me back outside the pub and I’m grateful to escape all the madness. I felt happy, though, I hadn’t had so much fun in ages.

“What now?” I ask him.

“Well,” he shrugs, “we could just stay out here and talk?”

I smile and take his hand once again, “Walk me home?”

“What about Olivia?”

“Oh please,” I groan, “for all I know she probably left an hour ago with someone else.”

He shakes his head in amusement but follows after me, not once letting go of my palm. All the way back home, he opens up to me about a lot of things, and I to him. He tells me about his parents and how he much he misses them. He shares more about Charlie and some of his best jokes and pranks. I tell him about my mom’s chocolate cake and how it’s the one thing I miss the most. Oh and about my dog, who I wish was there at night to comfort me.

“Do you get nightmares?” he asks, all of a sudden.

I pause in my steps, “You have nightmares?”

He nods and continues walking, pulling me with him, “They always come after I shoot someone.”

“Jamie,” I look at him, “you know that most of the time you don’t have a choice, right?”

“I know, but it doesn’t make it any easier. They’re not my lives to take, Dakota.”

I swirl around so that I was standing in front of him, “It’s not your fault.” I knew that was what he needed to hear.

He simply smiles sadly and resumes walking. Silence overtakes the both of us for the rest of the walk home, but it was a comfortable silence. There was nothing else left to say and we both enjoyed the fact that we just had someone there. Stopping in front of the hospital, I turn to face him.

“You actually live in the hospital?”

“It’s not that bad.”

“Um, I’ve been in there and despite the fact that the bed was pretty comfortable, I could think of better places to stay in.”

I giggle, “Well like I said, it’s not exactly like I have a choice.”

He clucks his tongue in disapproval, “I’m going to end this war so that you nurses could have a decent place to stay.”

I gasp, “Wow, how chivalrous!”

“What can I say, I’m a gentleman once you get to know me.” He teases.

I look down at our hands that were still entwined, suddenly feeling butterflies in my stomach, “I should probably go in now. And I’m guessing you need to start heading back to base?” He nods but says nothing, “Alright then, I’ll see you when I see you, Jamie.” I take my hand out of his grip and start walking up the staircase that leads to the entrance, an emptiness filling my heart.

I hear heavy footsteps behind me, “Wait!”

Placing both his hands on my shoulders, he turns me around so that I was facing him. He stares at me for a couple of seconds, as if contemplating something. Before I could ask him if something was wrong, his lips come down on mine. My eyes widen in shock but I surprise myself even further by kissing him back. I could taste the alcohol on his tongue but there was also a sweetness to it that made me crave more. Before I knew it, I was running my hands through his hair and he had his tightly locked around my waist.

We finally pull away after a couple of minutes slightly panting from being out of breath. Jamie tucks a loose strand of my hair behind my ear and places a soft kiss on the center of my forehead.

“Goodnight, Dakota.”

He walks down the steps and back to wherever he came from. I stood there, holding my heart in an attempt to calm its beating.

What the hell just happened?