thecarnivorousmuffinmeta

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

when tom first meets albus he mentions that he goes around london all the time on his own. what do you think he would do? just wander? steal food? was it just to get out of the orphanage? would he have worked do you imagine?

Anon.

He lived in the middle of London with limited supervision. I would be shocked if he's not wandering around London all the time on his own. This is like being surprised someone who lives in one of the Boroughs of New York City uses the subway.

#harry potter #harry potter meta #harry potter headcanon #tom riddle #meta #headcanon #opinion

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

What if Renata and Rosalie switched places? Rosalie is one of Luca's descendants living in 12th century Malta. Renata is a 1930s socialite about to be married. (Renata gets to keep her gift in this AU)

Rosalie

Given Renata's keeping her gift then Rosalie presumably doesn't have one.

She's turned by her uncle, essentially sacrificed by the family, and does not get recruited by the Volturi as she has no great talent they're looking for to speak of.

The Volturi are probably a lot more cagey about going out and about without Renata to act as bodyguard.

Renata

Renata presumably did not have her gift when human (at least as it's discussed in the guide). This means terrible things still occur to her in Rosalie's place and she probably gets on just as not well with Edward.

She likely does not save/marry Emmett or anyone else considering Renata seems to be unattached in canon.

#twilight #twilight meta #twilight headcanon #twilight renaissance #renata #rosalie hale #meta #headcanon #opinion

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

I love the Agatha Christie question!

Who are your HP/Twilight faves in the Christie universe? (Who’s the opportunist who knows too much and dies for it? Who’s the conman killer who courts the girl to avoid suspicion? Who’s just trying to take a holiday and gets caught-up in a murder? Who are the dynamic mystery-solving duo who realize they are in love by the end of the novel? etc.).

I mean, that is kind of what The Man Who Would Be King (and secret fic) (both cowritten with @theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin) have already become. We have our murder victim, Alphard, a very rich man with a colorful family, and possibly his sister, we have our unlikely detectives in Voldemort, Lily Potter, and Alphard himself. It may not be the center of the story but it's a large part of it.

In other words my answer for Harry Potter would somehow spoil all my present and future fics so I won't.

As for the Twilight version...

I vote we do it wealthy dysfunctional family style, it's most natural.

A patriarch is poisoned

Carlisle Cullen, a very wealthy man with powerful enemies, nonetheless dear to those around him and blessed with more friends than most, is found dead in his office one morning. Cause of death? Murder.

The police, caught on the detail that Dr. Cullen was a vampire and vampires are real, what the fuck is this on the doctor's autopsy table and is he going to wake up again and drink all our blood?, are little use in the investigation. Scotland Yard is soon brought in, and using Chief Swan's connections with the family they get a better picture of Dr. Cullen's life.

His family wasn't looking to inherit him anytime soon, as he was immortal. None of them were having money troubles however, all were independently wealthy.

He had made enemies of a thousand-year-old clan of powerful vampires, who on hearing that his murder is being investigated like this get very upset. Supposedly the victim lived with them in his youth (and inspector Craddock cries when he learns the timeline for this murder goes back to the 1600s. Are they going to have to bring historians in on this murder??), he might have known something

Oh what's that? The victim had a whole network of friends across the globe, who are all killers, and he knew everyone's secrets? ... do we have the budget to investigate this?

The victim was also living next to a tribe of magical shapeshifting wolves evolved specifically to kill his kind. They liked him best and had a line in their treaty that "he dies last". Not sure what to do with this information

Rosalie Hale missing person case from 1933 solved: Carlisle Cullen adopted her. Was she recognised, did someone piece it together, and was Carlisle killed in retribution?

The victim lived a fake life of fake papers. Could be important, except it's the most normal thing about this case.

The police wonder how this man didn't get murdered sooner, and are stretched so thin the investigation is going slowly.

So, Renesmee gets to be our plucky detective du jour, as she decides to see if she can help. Surely there is no harm in her poking around, and she's well liked around the vampire world so there might be answers she can get that human police can't, partly because policemen keep getting eaten.

She slowly narrows it down to the horrible realization that it was someone in the family, and she learns terrible things.

Jasper Hale wasn't Jasper Hale at all! He was a friend of Jasper's in the newborn army who wanted a new life, and who in the wake of Jasper's suden and unexpected death assumed his identity. He had Peter bite his entire face so he'd be scarred like Jasper had been, and vouch for this blond vampire most definitely being Jasper Hale. Peter later had to die because he Knew Too Much, and so did Charlotte, regrettably. Fake Jasper did however not kill Carlisle.

Edward seems a prime suspect, he is an angry and resentful young man who acts out. Everyone thinks he did it, and that Bella should certainly marry Jacob, the safer option. Much upheaval is had, however, once Renesmee is able to clear Edward's name and he meaningfully links arms with Bella. They sail off into the sunset with their inheritance.

Rosalie is a beautiful, cold, intimidating woman, the femme fatale sort who's surely conniving. It's a bit of a mystery why she married that poor fool Emmett, but it's clear to all she doesn't love him. No clear motive from her, other than the money she would inherit, but she's just so suspicious. Her alibi is ambiguous, she claims she was with Esme and Emmett but what if Esme and Emmett are lying to protect their daughter and wife? Superintendent Battle wonders about that.

Renesmee is at a loss.

And then she realizes that it's not Rosalie who acts like she doesn't love Emmett, it's Emmett who acts like he doesn't love her! And Esme's grieving widow act is just that, it's an act!

Renesmee realizes that Emmett and Esme are lovers, and killed Carlisle together. Esme committed it while Emmett tricked Rosalie into giving her an alibi. Renesmee realizes this once she has a "But Rosalie couldn't have seen Esme from that angle!" moment.

The plan was too pin Rosalie for the murder, see her hanged, and then in due time the mourning widowers would marry, happily entitled to all the money they couldn't have touched if they'd divorced. Also Rosalie was Catholic so she wouldn't have agreed to a divorce.

The two lovers are confronted, and Esme pulls out a tiny pearl-studded gun from her shoe, says "We tried, my love. I regret nothing" before shooting first Emmett, then herself.

#agatha christie #twilight #twilight renaissance #twilight meta #the man who would be king #renesmee cullen #the cullens #alice cullen #emmett cullen #esme cullen #carlisle cullen #rosalie hale #jasper whitlock #meta #opinion #vinelle #therealvinelle

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Neither

Hot weather

Alphard neither (who knows what's going on with wizard undergarments) Tom whatever's cheaper/more common at the time

Alphard swing because he knows jazz only as that one singer Mrs. Weasley likes in the wizarding world and thinks she's horrible, Tom Muggle jazz

Tom porque no los dos, Alphard time.

Alphard and Tom preferences pop quiz! sweet foods or salty? hot weather or cold? boxers or briefs? swing or jazz? radio or live music? more power or more time?

Based entirely on projection?

Neither (they live in Britain), hot weather (too bad given they live in Britain), and... you have thoughts on the remaining four, @thecarnivorousmuffinmeta?

#alphalord

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

okay so imagine this, its godrics hallow 1981 and voldemort has just struck james potter down. he walks towards lily evans, wand pointing at her son. lily says i'll do anything to protect my son but this time voldemorts opportunistic mind and manipulative tendencies kick in. this is someone strong enough to have defieded him twice. this is someone smart enough to have people such as dumbledore and slughorn and snape sing her praises. this is someone smart enough to have hidden from him, the dark lord, for almost a year. he looks at her and asks, what exactly would you do to save your son. lily is caught off guard, she hesitants, but this might be her only chance to save her son...so she says "anything" again. voldemort asks if she would be willing to be a death eater. lily cannonically loves her son basically above anything and has incredibly strong magic so she says yes. what happens do you think next?

Not quite what you're looking for but

The Man Who Would be King by me and @therealvinelle

If you really want what you're asking for write the fic

(gif credit @franzias-cave)

#harry potter #the man who would be king #tom riddle #lily evans

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

okay do i know you think tom and dumbledore could never ever work but tom is a hot young wizard with a talent for magic(mainly dark) who acts very cold and charismatic. it probably reminds dumbledore of gellert. which could make dumbledore have a weird sort of crush on tom which he feels guilty about. how do you think that would go?

...

Dude.

How do you think it would go?

(For what it's worth, this is pretty much canon anyway as Dumbledore is weird with how he talks about young hot Tom Riddle. The difference is he ain't admitting it and he ain't guilty about it either.)

#harry potter #harry potter meta #harry potter headcanon #harry potter shipping #tom riddle #albus dumbledore #anti albus dumbledore #tom riddle/albus dumbledore #anti tom riddle/albus dumbledore #meta #headcanon #opinion #shipping

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

how do you think you would fare if you were put into harry's shoes from When Harry Met Tom

When Harry Met Tom by me

The thing about that fic is that Harry herself is the catalyst of all of it. The plot is set in motion, every plot is set in motion, because Harry does a thing or acts a certain way.

If I in Harry's place get there and don't do anything then nothing would happen. Or rather, Tom would presumably open the Chamber of Secrets and Hagrid would be blamed.

#harry potter #when harry met tom #isekai #meta

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

We know about the word count of secret fic, what about the chapter count?

Secret fic by me and @therealvinelle

82 chapters and counting!

#secret fic #vinelle #therealvinelle #melgbi

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

The odds are that this won’t be a spoiler. Are lemmings mentioned in secret fic? If it’s ribbing Norway then do lemmings get mentioned?

Also have you seen lemmings yourself? I sadly haven’t as my only trip to Norway was to Stavanger and mostly staying in town with a family friend.

Asker is referring to mine and @theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin's secret fic, one whose existence we might have made a mistake admitting to at all.

We have, however, admitted that the fic is mostly just about making fun of me specifically. There are therefore no lemmings in the story, because I'm not a lemming.

(And yes, I have seen lemmings but only in flashes. They are fast little buggers. I also have not been to Stavanger.)

#secret fic #vinelle #therealvinelle #darkwinganimus

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

I looked up Omar Sharif and oh my god. This man is too handsome to be a bachelor. Alphard must've been hounded by his family 24/7 for not settling down with a girl already. If he was average looking his bachelorness could've gone under the radar, but if he looks like Omar Sharif that shit isn't going under anyone's radar. People are going to talk because something is up with Alphard Black if he can't get a girl looking like that.

Anon's referring to this post.

To be fair, @therealvinelle and I came up with this very late at night with an "yeah feels right" but there is definitely the thought that the man's a little too hot (though the Blacks are canonically supposed to be hot).

Alphard's hot but a) drowned out by the proximity of the golden god that is Tom Riddle b) not charismatic enough to bring it to the forefront in people's minds. It's the charisma thing and general quiet personality that damns him.

But on the other hand, he's so hot it takes Tom 0.02 seconds from the idea of having sex with this person introduced to do it in Amulette d'Amour by me and @therealvinelle, and more damningly... he doesn't stop...

But yes there's a lot of "what the fuck" from close family who are very upset on his behalf and "aren't you even trying Alphard??? How are you this bad???" and Alphard not admitting to not... trying...

#harry potter #amulette d'amour #the man who would be king #alphard black #meta #vinelle #therealvinelle

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

In Amulet if Tom had still had the silver in the shop and had given it back then and there do you think Alphard have still found a reason to come back to the shop to see him?

Amulette d'Amour by me and @therealvinelle

No.

However much Alphard might be tempted knowing Tom Riddle now works in an accessible part of London, he's right there in a store, he also knows that a) nothing good would come of seeing him too often b) he has no reason to see him c) if he gets what he wants by some miracle it'd be very very bad.

Alphard at that point is at the stage of someone who knows they shouldn't go to the bakery because in the long run eating that much cake would be bad for him and knowing he has too weak of a will personally to not buy the cake.

The silverware and ensuing debacles is where Alphard has given up and sees no way out and damns himself while knowing this is a very very very bad idea.

#harry potter #amulette d'amour #alphard black #tom riddle/alphard black #alphalord #meta #vinelle #therealvinelle

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

(So side note from me looking at the Cullen Garduation Cap wall and thinking about making a quilt version),

I noticed each line is for each of the Cullen 'Children' and they have the same amount of caps.

(Apart from this probably being just to make the prop look neat)

I assumed Edward, Rosalie and Emmett had being going to high schools before Alice and Jasper joined in the 50s.

Is this just a movie thing or did they start that up after they joined?

You've come to the wrong blog, anon, that was a movie only feature.

#twilight #twilight renaissance

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Re: ask about Tom and the Blitz. You may be onto something with "she just doesn't know about world war II's impact on England", considering she claimed that she didn't know about Nazi blood purity once until she visited the holocaust memorial museum

https://www.scotsman.com/news/uk-news/author-chilled-to-learn-harrys-half-blood-status-has-nazi-parallels-2508677

The important part being "Ms Rowling said she had invented the idea that some wizards were not considered to be "pure", and realised the similarities with the Nazis’ beliefs only afterwards when she visited a museum dedicated to the Holocaust, in which six million Jewish people died."

@rosebleue is referring to this post

And oh my god.

#jk rowling #anti jk rowling #meta #harry potter #anti harry potter #rosebleue

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

i get that the blitz basically shapes your characterisation of tom, but the way jkr has dumbledore treat tom in canon makes it seem like... did she just not realise he was growing up during ww2? i just FEEL like she intended to make it seem like oh, he only wants to stay at hogwarts because he has no family at home, not because hes literally getting BOMBED 😭

The absence of the cultural impact of WWII in Harry Potter is weird and a constant mystery to me. It's not just Tom's backstory (being set in a period and from a place where this is very relevant) but the entire story for that matter.

Could be she just didn't want to include any of it/didn't want to get into it at all. Which is fair because this is a children's fantasy series that's deliberately set in the 1990's and not about the war (vs. Chronicles of Narnia where Lion, Witch, and the Wardrobe is deliberately set on the premise of "children are sent out of London to mysterious countryside house they've never been to and are exploring" or Bed knobs and Broomsticks which has pretty much the same premise of "children sent away to mysterious household where woman turns out to be a witch")

Except that she then goes on to make very strong parallels between the Death Eaters/Muggle-born Registration act and the Nazis, Dumbledore and Churchill, etc.

So... it feels like she kind of forgot the whole part where Britain was under severe threat of invasion (army across the channel, submarines in the channel) as well as the bombing campaigns particularly against London and how much of the city was destroyed and many people died.

I haven't read any interviews, but this woman is awful with dates and history to begin with so... I'm left wondering if JKR either didn't know. Somehow. Or forgot. Somehow. Or got her dates wrong. Somehow.

The treatment of Tom Riddle definitely seems to be she intended just "oh he's a poor orphan who feels Hogwarts is his home and wants to stay because of that" to parallel with Harry who also wants to stay over the summer and is told no and not, well, de bombs. (Added to this that Dumbledore/JKR never tells us where Tom is sent during the war. Dumbledore implies Tom was just chilling at Wool's the whole time.)

#harry potter #harry potter meta #harry potter headcanon #jk rowling #anti jk rowling #albus dumbledore #tom riddle #meta #headcanon #opinion

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

thoughts on how tom became a prefect and if he enjoyed it

The how seems easy enough, same way Ron and Hermione did, the head of house selected him as prefect in his fifth year. From what we see, certainly before whatever happened in that memory, Slughorn thought very highly of Tom Riddle and it seems like he was a no-brainer for the position and then later for Head Boy (being top of his class, very well liked, and having dealt with the Chamber fiasco by that point to external viewers).

As for if he liked it, we can't really know as every source we have on Tom is biased (either the Diary who is actively lying to Harry in preparation of killing him, Slughorn who is filled with shame about many things, or Dumbledore who both has a very skewed perception of events as well as preparing Harry to be killed).

He didn't hate it enough to quit I guess.

#harry potter #harry potter meta #harry potter headcanon #tom riddle #meta #headcanon #opinion

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

How doesn’t Edward realize he’s not really that fast if he can read minds? Wouldn’t hear his family thinking about slowing down for him?

Anon.

You missed an entire debacle.

#twilight #twilight meta #twilight headcanon #twilight renaissance #edward cullen #anti edward cullen #meta #headcanon #opinion

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Alphard being horrified by Tom being so casual about riding the bus sent me. did he ever figure out what he meant or to this day is he confused.

The Man Who Would Be King by me and @therealvinelle

He did eventually figure out or surmise that buses in the Wizarding World and Muggle world are very different things.

#harry potter #the man who would be king #alphard black #tom riddle #meta #vinelle #therealvinelle