thiswomanslife

[thiswomanslife]

Reminisce, bake and know yourself

Today’s songs to write to: Candy Girl by Trailer Trash Tracys, My Life by Lucy Rose, Home by Little May, Soft Shock by Yeah Yeah Yeahs.

Yesterday afternoon I was overcome with the sudden impulse to find my old diaries. So I recruited Andy to help me rummage through our bat poo covered loft in the hope I could grab them and escape before being mauled by those gargantuan spiders or mice that inhabit all lofts. I was fortunate to find the most beautiful box. Not visually, it’s essentially a large rectangular shoe box that once housed some knee-high boots; but now it is filled with my memories, insecurities, vulnerabilities, relationships, my whole heart, my history so far, spilled out on paper. 

I was never a consistent diary writer, getting to March was a successful year; but I bought one each year in that momentary flurry of New Year hope and motivation, determined to write my heart out each day. That is, up until 2005, when I met Andy. Then, suddenly, I didn’t feel the need to record my thoughts on paper anymore. I had a person to share all of them with. Occasionally, when writing, I would wonder who I wrote for. Now I realise, I wrote for my future self. 

It has been an odd few months since our wedding at the end of May. In fact, it started before that. I am somewhat of a hoarder when it comes to writing. I have saved countless notes passed between friends at school, ‘lad games’ we used to play, so much high school memorabilia. One night, before the wedding, I stuck some music on and perused through some of the old notes. It was so strange to hear these young voices coming from the page, including my own, absorbed by each small but hugely important social interaction, so needful of acceptance, afraid of rejection, unsure of who they were and clinging to each other with affection in what would be one of the most crazy, tempestuous, unrestrained, vulnerable and beautiful times of their lives. I will admit, I sobbed my heart out. I felt a sudden loss, I was officially entering adulthood. Don’t misunderstand me, I love Andy with all my heart, nobody has or could make me happier. And our years together so far have been some of the happiest of my life. But, I suddenly understood that a part of my life was over. I had arrived somewhere, one phase of my journey was complete. I am twenty eight, and I have been with Andy for ten years, but it can take a while for these things to sink in. 

I am so lucky that the women in my notes have remained my best friends, and I hope that our shared history and love will bind us forever. But we’ll never again live that reckless, desperate, thrilling chase of our sixth form years. Now, we talk about adult things, and catch up on the regular topics of life. We aren’t lost in the adventure of boys, music, dancing, arguing, hurting, loving, holding on to each other to emerge from our teens unscathed and with a sense of who we are. We still hold on to each other in many ways, but differently. 

Since the wedding, Andy and I have had a slump. The channel for our adrenalin and anticipation was suddenly cut off. Andy was struggling with the pressure of work and was finally signed off for a few weeks with stress and exhaustion. We’re now helping each other to get back to normal. As we live right next to where he works, his troubles come home with him, and it feels oppressive here now. We will move eventually, but in the meantime, in my role as comforter and pillar of strength, I felt robotic, and tired, like a grey smudge of pencil on paper. 

Everyone tells you to look forward, not back, in low times. I disagree. When I read through my diaries, I learnt and remembered so much about myself. We so often live in the future in our minds, going through the motions whilst thinking about what we need to do next. We become a series of actions, we forget to feel vividly. We don’t take the time to look at ourselves, at who we are, who we have been, to understand what we love, and why we are loved.

The people who wrote in my sixth form book taught me about who I am to others, what I was to them. My small, scared twelve year old voice taught me about my deepest insecurities, my desperate need to please my mum, my capacity to feel loneliness, my love of my family. My eighteen year old voice shouted from the page about my lust for life, my passionate nature, my happy lack of ambition, my narcissistic craving to be loved and desired, my need to please, hopeless trust in everyone around me and deep fear of rebuff. I listened to my warmth, and my flaws, and I remembered that I’m not a grey smudge, I’m a living, breathing, intense and impassioned human being. I have hated myself, and I have loved myself, and I have existed, apart from other people. It’s all there, in black and white. 

I found myself getting to the end of my writing and urgently flipping through the blank pages that followed, wondering what happened in them. 

So today, I spent the day baking a chocolate tart, because I love baking. And I ordered myself a new diary. 

#life #women #girls #friends #diary #diaries #identity #self #whoami #memories #remember

[thiswomanslife]

Writing

I decided, recently, to write more. In no particular format. I might be writing about memories, thoughts that occur to me, I might even make things up. But I am going to explore my experiences with words a little more. So, in short, my blog posts might become a bit more random, peppered with typical ‘diary’-like, catch-up articles. I write for myself, but perhaps one day I might consider writing for others. This space gives me chance to flex my ‘writing muscles’ so to speak. 

Disclaimer: it can become dark, in my head.

At the moment I am reading ‘the girl on the train’ by Paula Hawkins. Today, it sparked this thought in me:

I am oddly proud of my jagged, split, unpainted nails. They are my refusal to bend to the manicured ideal, a statement of my flawed humanity. Mine are living hands, they feel, touch, explore, immerse themselves in water and dirt and experience. I am a real person, not a mannequin.

I would, of course, still be a real person if I beautified my hands. But even when I paint them they seem to resist perfection, the varnish chips and smudges, they splinter and break. It’s as though they are saying 'don't hide us, we are part of you, we will die without light'. It's such a pitiful sight, the deformed remnants of keratin left when smooth pointed plastic imitations have dropped off or been torn away. The raw, nascent, pink skin beneath is vulnerable and weak. Like a baby that began to grow before realising that full life will escape its grasp, leaving it to lie deformed and unmatured.

Once, when we were small, my brother pressed down the folds of plastic lining around the pond my dad built in our garden. The tadpoles and tiny baby frogs that sheltered there were squashed and died. 

I would still be a real person with fake nails, but I would be a little less me.

#life #diary #writing #blog #nails #thoughts #reality #identity

[thiswomanslife]

We thank Sir Terry Pratchett for introducing us to brave hearts and smart comebacks, and accept his challenge to to rewrite the stories of our own lives.

[thiswomanslife]

What is it about music? Particular notes snake through your ears and into your heart and mind, pressing buttons, making you feel, think, remember. It's as though emotions have corresponding sounds, the mind sings in minor when sad and major when happy. I wonder where the origin of the music/emotion phenomenon lies, did someone write the first 'sad' piece of music, marry it to a tragic narrative and begin a cycle which has conditioned generations of people to associate this collection of sounds with negative emotions ever since? Or is there a deeper, biological connection, like a child recognising it's mother's happiness or distress by the sound of a laugh or cry? Anyway... pondering abruptly over. I often wonder about connections between sound and the human mind, but this particular ponderous episode came about because Call the Midwife began, and I started bouncing about to the opening theme, filled with warm fuzzies. I have obviously come to associate the music with the heart-warming content. Beautiful show. 

It's been a lovely, lazy Sunday. Despite the fact that it began with housework. There is something to be said for the satisfaction and contentment that comes from running around your home with a variety of machines, sprays and furry instruments to make it fresh, clean and sparkly. The best part, of course, is sitting down with your (in my case) huge cheese baguette and cup of tea at the end of the spree to smugly survey your efforts whilst happily stuffing your face. My mind is in order, as is my house, i'm not looking around creating an internal checklist of things to tidy away and clean. Until tomorrow, when the mess will have stuck two fingers up at me and crawled back to stake its claim in my home. Squatters' rights. 

Following my cleaning spree and Andy's manly hour of wood-chopping (who knew we would fall into such traditional gender roles on a sunday morning), we had lunch and went for a brisk, FREEZING COLD walk around the field at the back of our house, during which I made a connection with a horse (not that kind) and Andy was chuffed to find a golf ball. I then proceeded to sit on my arse all afternoon drinking tea, reading The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath, which, disgustingly, I have never read, and taking instagram photos of my cosy set-up (see above). 

Yesterday was also a happy day, we bought our wedding rings *squeal* and I wrote out the evening invites. It's getting there! I just NEED to start exercising now as my wedding dress fitting is in three weeks and I don't actually fit into my dress at the moment. I also booked a table for mum and I to have lunch at Marco Pierre White's restaurant in Stratford on Mother's day. Have always wanted to eat there, despite the interior vaguely resembling a squeaky black shiny gentleman's club/swingers meeting place. They really need to rethink that decor. Perhaps the photos don't do it justice...

I want to talk about so many things, terrorists on twitter, work developments, my latest read, my latest watch, Sigourney Weaver coming back for Alien 5!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Harrison Ford coming back for Blade Runner 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Health developments (i have a barium swallow appointment on Tuesday next week at Kidderminster hospital - my next step!), but it is getting late and my internal checklist is growing (clean out rabbit, tidy kitchen, get slow cook ready for tomorrow's dinner) - the excitement of my life...

I have decided to focus perhaps on just one or two things in each blog post now, so perhaps i'll begin with terrorists on twitter tomorrow... 

Night all x

#life #music #wedding #callthemidwife #reading #diary

[thiswomanslife]

recent studies reveal that 100% of abortions are performed on people who do not wish to be pregnant and 0% of abortions are performed on conservative republican men

[thiswomanslife]

Gosh, I have completely neglected the Tumblogsphere. Further evidence of my complete lack of commitment to anything that isn’t pizza, TV or Andy-shaped. Hello!

I should, perhaps, relay all events and adventures that I’ve alternately yawned and panicked my way through during the months leading up to 2015 (AKA Year of the Wedding). In truth though, there isn’t much to report. Here are some highlights that may be of vague interest (handily bullet-pointed for your skipping pleasure):

• Health: Hi, my name is Cathy, I have a hiatus hernia. This is the diagnosis. I don’t know what they’re going to do about it yet. In October, they taped a tube to my nostril, slid it down my throat (it was about as pleasant as it sounds) and made me wear it for 24 hours to measure the acidity of my lower oesophagus. Eating was a bit grim, each time i swallowed a chunk of food i swear it sprouted arms on the way down and started tugging on the tube like bloody Tarzan. Anyway, I have an appointment with Dr Hudson, my consultant, at Worcester Hospital on 4th Feb. He is either going to say ‘take tablets forever’ (which I am doing, and am still waking up in the night feeling like someone is jabbing the bottom of my throat with hot needles and looking like I’ve just sleepwalked into the shower and back into bed), or that they will do keyhole surgery for me (hurrah – despite the risk of surgery failure, bodged wedding/honeymoon and the big question ‘when am I allowed to try for a baby with a big hole in my diaphragm that won’t appreciate the stretch’?!). Despite the risks, the latter is my preference. Get in there, sort it out and I’ll never do any sit-ups again, I promise.

• Wedding: Aside from both our families engaging in civil war resulting in Andy and I having a ‘crisis meeting’ during which we briefly considered calling the whole thing off (until we (I) decided that I DON’T want to give up my ‘moment’), things are going ok. Invites are being made, accommodation is booked (we’re staying at the beautiful Wood Norton in Evesham), and I have resolutely decided not to stress myself out about it (see me again in April). I am slightly perturbed, however, by the fact that I DON’T FIT INTO MY WEDDING DRESS!!!! Or i didn’t when i last tried it on. Admittedly, this was just after returning from a week of continental breakfasts (ham, cheese and bread) and butt-building hill-climbing in Austria, during which i had lowered my thyroid medication (which makes me put on weight). AND the magical seamstress lady can (apparently) fit it to me perfectly by taking out the seams slightly (possibly a lot). So… we’ll see. Hopefully i won’t be waddling down the aisle looking like a sausage about to burst at the seams. 

• Christmas, New Year bla… I saw lots of lovely family and friends. It was busy. I was sad to miss some of the family i usually see due to the aforementioned civil war. I saw my beautiful nan who i will post about separately. I have neither the time nor energy to relay all events so some photos above give an idea. Note: see me playing PS4 in bottom right corner - COD is back in our lives :D 

• In other news, I’ve become obsessed with Caitlin Moran. I suggested How to Build a Girl for an online book group I’m part of with a few friends, and although it took me a while to relax into her verbose, quick-witted writing style, I quickly sunk into fandom, and devoured this and How to be a Woman in double-quick time. Everything, just everything she writes in the latter makes me want to stand on top of a building, raise my arms to the heavens and scream YEEESSS! Finally, someone is writing in a female voice that I recognise, about the little things that we deal with, on a daily basis. I DON’T DO expensive bags, I DON’T DO painfully tottering around in heels and I AM A WOMAN. (Disclaimer: If i did do both of those things, that would also be fine. Also, it is about much more than bags and heels.) Here is a snippet:

“We need to reclaim the word ‘feminism’. We need the word ‘feminism’ back real bad. When statistics come in saying that only 29% of American women would describe themselves as feminist - and only 42% of British women - I used to think, What do you think feminism IS, ladies? What part of ‘liberation for women’ is not for you? Is it freedom to vote? The right not to be owned by the man you marry? The campaign for equal pay? ‘Vogue’ by Madonna? Jeans? Did all that good shit GET ON YOUR NERVES? Or were you just DRUNK AT THE TIME OF THE SURVEY?”

“When a woman says, ‘I have nothing to wear!’, what she really means is, ‘There’s nothing here for who I’m supposed to be today.” 

Re the second quote - I have always thought it funny that the first thing i remember about any life event is what i was wearing. Whenever Andy and i discuss shared memories i give him a full account of my wardrobe on that day, and unsurprisingly, he has no clue what he was wearing! When i was at sixth form i would plan my outfit for the following day based on several hours of cat-walking and crazy dancing in front of my wardrobe mirror. I needed my identity for each day to ensure that 1) boys would think i looked hot 2) no boy would say anything mean to me. Now my outfit considerations revolve around 1) what will make me feel comfortable and 2) what will make me feel comfortable. Of course, i’m human, if something looks nice too that’s a bonus. It’s so completely ingrained in women to need to conform to societal notions of beauty. I am learning, but it’s hard to kick the habit. When i meet someone for the first time, i want them to think ‘she’s pretty’. SO EFFING STUPID! I, along with most other people i’m sure, have an innate ‘people pleaser’ gene. ‘Please think i’m nice, please think i’m pretty, that must mean it’s true…’ i’m working on remaining a nice, polite, happy person whilst stamping out my need to please and replacing it with ‘if you don’t like me, deal with it’. In fact, there is someone who will always think i’m nice and pretty, Andy. And that is all i should ever need. 

Caitlin again - “These days, however, I am much calmer - since I realised that it’s technically impossible for a woman to argue against feminism. Without feminism, you wouldn’t be allowed to have a debate on women’s place in society. You’d be too busy giving birth on the kitchen floor - biting down on a wooden spoon, so as not to disturb the men’s card game - before going back to quick-liming the dunny. This is why those female columnists in the Daily Mail - giving daily wail against feminism - amuse me. They paid you £1,600 for that, dear, I think. And I bet it’s going in your bank account, and not your husband’s. The more women argue loudly, against feminism, the more they both prove it exists and that they enjoy its hard-won privileges.” Amen sister. 

Anyway, at the risk of filling my blog with the entire book, i’m going to sign out. But it’s been nice to be here. I will try not to leave it too long this time.

C x

#life #women #caitlinmoran #feminism #blog #diary #wedding #health #hernia

[thiswomanslife]

Briefest of September check-ins

From Alt-J, to Indiana, to Jessie Ware, and i’ve only just started writing. Tumblr is down. So i’m writing this in Drive to upload tomorrow. Naughty Tumblr.

Well, another birthday, T minus two years until the big ‘30’... and counting… it doesn’t really count yet though. I spent my birthday by myself (yes, i would appreciate violins) learning about the micro and macro environments that affect Yeo Valley Farms. Not the best. Sunday was a lovely family day, but i spent it outside of myself, looking down at my moving body in that pre-exam haze brain, not focused on life. Andy noticed it and couldn’t wait for me to get it over with. And now it’s done! It went ok i suppose, good bits bad bits and some vague waffle in between.

Anyway, enough of that. My real birthday celebrations will be on Saturday. Andy is taking me to an undisclosed location, somewhere in Wales, to do.. something. This is not secret code for romantic shenanigans, i actually have no idea what we’re going there to see or do, but i like surprises.

Two good things that have come out of my birthday so far are 1) Kindle Paperwhite and 2) LG Gpad. More devices to swallow my life. I have grand plans to use my LG Gpad for innovative marketing and design work, but so far i have downloaded Farmville 2, grown some corn and built a windmill. I even get notifications to tell me my corn is ready. Perhaps all this study of organic farming has awakened the agriculturalist in me, the clean-handed seated-comfortably indoor version. My old kindle has been rehomed, surprisingly, with Andy; his first choice is a book about the real Atlantic City. Well-timed, as the last ever (sob) season of Boardwalk Empire begins next weekend. I’ll have him on Pride and Prejudice in no time…..

In other news (and what would a blog post be without a bad health bulletin) i had an appointment on Thursday with a very thorough consultant in the gastro dept of Worcester Royal. I’ve had ANOTHER blood test, which includes celiac screening (please god don’t let it be that!) and have an appointment for an endoscopy on 30th Sept at 3.15pm. I can opt for a sedative, which is handy. It won’t knock me out but apparently will chill me out… almost as good. So watch this space.

Just a short check-in from me. I’m off now to catch up with my favourite ethnic minorities in Zadie Smith’s ‘White Teeth’ - a long haul but i’m finally into it (near the end).

Night all x

#life #checkin #hospital #health #reading #kindle #tablet #farmville

[thiswomanslife]

I'm currently sat on the 'long' train from London Euston to Birmingham International, with a cold ritazza tea and two double chocolate muffins on the table in front of me (not mine I hasten to add, they wouldn't have lasted this long if they were - they're for the girls looking after our bunny rabbit at home). Sometimes it's nice to get the long train. No speedy tilty experience, but instead a sleepy, casual, sit back and watch the fields and hedgerows roll past the window kind of ride. Slowing life down a little. Refreshing.  Andy is on the table next to me with three other strangers, one of whom inspired me to write - a backpacker with a messy brunette pony tail who whipped her pen and pad out after looking about her thoughtfully, I imagine to put some of her life down on paper... or perhaps Andy and I will be characters in her next story...  He's trying to keep his eyes open after a humid, fitful and disrupted night's 'sleep' at a distinctly average but necessarily cheap hotel near Hyde Park. The man to my right is playing a football game on his phone, gesticulating angrily or with a celebratory fist pump at his progress. The lady opposite me is having a telephone conversation in french to a friend or family member, spotted every now and again with a jolly Frank Bruno style chuckle. Our knees and feet keep bumping.  Our visit to Hyde Park started quite stressfully with some frantic, sticky tube hopping in the muggy heat. We finally reached our hotel with 5 mins to freshen up before meeting Harri and Scott and racing to Hyde Park to catch the end of the enemy's set. The central barriers cordoning off the premium view area meant that we had to stand disappointingly far back. Although later, for the main event, Andy and I snuck close in round the side and secured a much better spot. It was a mixed day in all, but the final performance was worth the wait and every penny. Carl and Pete are an electric partnership. Aside from 3 unfortunate stalls to play due to drunken, drugged up morons climbing the lighting towers, setting off fireworks and storming the barriers at the front, the set was incredible. The stage was framed beautifully with nostalgic montages of the band's golden early days, filtered alternately in vintage greys and vivid colour.  The first few interrupted tracks were marred by crazy moshing around me, but then 'music when the lights go out' kicked in, and I had a moment. A sudden realisation that I was watching something special. And all the magic I felt at the stone roses gig came flooding back. Andy and I cuddled and sang to each other through 'don't look back into the sun', a crowd favourite (and one of ours), and all the niggles of the day disintegrated into a calm, happy, ethereal experience. In short, I loved it. Thank you to the boys in the band for putting on a great show. 

#the libertines #life #hyde park #carl barat #pete doherty #concert #gig #bst

[thiswomanslife]

Austria May 2014

This is written exactly as it was in my diary during the trip. Hence, some bits are shorthand. It's late, there's a lot to type, and I can't be bothered to edit myself ;)

Sunday 18th May 2014

Firstly, a little about our arrival yesterday; the flight was awful - turbulent, I was sat next to a smelly man, and we were both very tired. At least it got in ten minutes early at 5pm (6pm in Austria), so one hour 40 mins in total - not bad.

We got a bus from tiny Salzburg airport into the main bus station in the city, from here, another bus into St Gilgen. We faffed a bit here as all timetables were in German, we were tired, and had monstrously oversized, cumbersome, horrendous rucksacks on our backs, which, in case you hadn't guessed, I am never using again. It did force me to pack less (only 11kg - a record for me) but was still hugely more difficult and awkward to lug around than wheeling a suitcase behind me.

Anyway, Andy slipped into a foul mood in Salzburg because 'people were looking at us', I'm not surprised, we looked like two lost transformers. It didn't bother me, I just smiled back. To top it off, our bus driver was really grumpy, so it was a quiet and sullen 50 minute trip to St Gilgen. Thankfully, as we left what appeared to be a rather grubby, run-down Salzburg behind us (we hoped to discover nicer parts!) we emerged into the lush green mountainous Salzkammergut. Turning the corner into St Gilgen, I was thankful that it hadn't yet turned dark, because the view was beautiful. Low hanging clouds floated halfway down the tree-covered snow-capped mountains, which surrounded a dark green, rippling lake, Lake Wolfgang, 

Due to the time we arrived, approx 7.20pm Austrian time, everything was quiet, closed up and still in the town. It was also raining. As we searched for our hotel lugging 11kg up a steep incline in the drizzle, I could tell the view hadn't been enough to dispel Andy's perturbed mindset. It was odd - like a ghost town, with images of Christ on the cross outside most of the builldings (Austria is fervently Catholic). The next day, we would mock this fact by repeatedly chanting 'The Greater Good' (Hot Fuzz reference), but at the time, it just added to our sense of unease. 

We found Landhaus Schossleitner at the top of the hill and walked into the open front door. Oddly, no-one was around; we could hear a woman with a screaming child somewhere in the building, but when we said 'hello' no-one answered. I walked through the dimly lit seemingly empty house, past lots of religious memorabilia such as cross-stitched bible quotes in German, it was quite spooky! Eventually, I went back to the front door and rang the bell - what we should have done in the first place! The lady and now quiet child on her hip emerged from a nearby door. She is called Sonya, speaks good English and is very friendly and welcoming. She showed us to our room, number 1 directly at the top of the staircase; a simple, cosy, homely and spotlessly clean space with rustic furniture. She then told us that breakfast is served from 7.30am until whenever we like (yay!) and left us to it. We have a balcony attached to our room with stunning views across the lake and a small cable TV. We walked into the centre of St Gilgen in the rain seeking food and ate at a lovely restaurant called Gasthof zur post - I even managed to successfully ask for a table in German! The food was lovely, but the walk back up the steep hill was a challenge. The bed is extremely comfy; needless to say - we slept well!

St Wolfgang

We had a much-needed lie in this morning and didn't go down for breakfast until 10am. Sonya had set out a lovely table for us, with orange juice, tea, coffee, cheeses, meats and fresh bread. It was all very yummy. Andy made me chuckle as he couldn't figure out how to open the coffee pot, so he opened the lid fully whilst tipping it, as you do, and it went everywhere! The clumsy Brits had arrived. 

We walked into St Gilgen; there was a little more hustle and bustle today. Our walk carried on along the lake, where we took some lovely photos. The weather was still overcast but the rain had thankfully stopped. We could hear the Sunday church session in full swing, with choral voices carrying out onto the main street. Also, as this is a small religious village, everywhere was closed! We found one small cafe where we ordered tea, coffee and an Apple Strudel with whipped cream - it was lovely, as was the bartender, who spoke good English and taught me how to ask for the bill in German. We left a good tip and said we'd be back. 

We took a boat trip to St Wolfgang across the lake - expensive but stunning. The sun peeped out a few times. St Wolfgang itself was much more lively than St Gilgen, and everything was open! We browsed the shops, sat on a bench and admired the view and stopped at a cafe for more tea and a pizza!

It was around dinner time when we got back so we went back to the hotel, chilled for a while (I wrote this) and then went back into town to hunt for (yet more) food. We ate at Gasthof zur post again, as most other places were closed. Heard some posh English school-kids hanging around the near empty streets; Andy said there is a well-to-do private school in St GIlgen. I had Wiener Schnitzel (pork), my second traditional dish of the day. It happened to taste just like a turkey dinosaur! Andy had Austrian boiled beef - their version of a roast, with a huge dollop of horseradish, some sort of bright green parsley sauce, pots and veg. My pud was a hot chocolate with cream (or 'schlag' as they call it - to our amusement), unfortunately the cream was off, and, in my typical Brit fashion, I didn't say anything, but instead scooped it off and drank the sickly sweet chocolate. My tummy did not thank me for it!

Had a lovely first day. Got to know the area and really settled in. Saw some beautiful sights. 

Monday 19th May - Salzburg

Same breakfast this morning - they don't seem to eat much fruit here. It's like having lunch for your breakfast! Beautiful bread though. We've established that bread and pastries are Austria's specialty - they have some amazing bakeries. 

We took a bus to Salzburg, about a 45 minute journey. Got off at Mirabellplatz and walked all around the old town. Saw another padlock bridge, the only other i've seen since Paris. Cobbled streets filled with cafes, bakeries and cute shops - very charming. There were a few large squares with statues and fountains and the fortress loomed overhead. We didn't go up to it for budget reasons - and it looked to be an empty ruin anyway. We had the most amazing ice cream on a balcony terrace overlooking one of the squares and did some people watching. I practised more German; many people don't bother. We haven't yet come across many Brits here. 

After our lovely ice cream we meandered through a few more side streets and sat on a bench in another square soaking up the sun and atmosphere. There were a few market stalls beneath umbrellas and some buskers, one particularly good one with a violin played near two guys playing with a huge life-size chess board on the ground. It looked as though it took all their might to lug each piece into position. 

We bought some rolls from a local Spar and crossed the bridge again. Ate our lunch by the river in the sunshine; both got a little burnt today. I had a nap after getting the bus back to the hotel and reading a little of my book (The Girl at the Lion D'or). 

St Gilgen seems to have come to life during the week. Although it's still quiet, many more shops and restaurants have opened up. We ate at Hotel Kendler this evening. Not as posh as zur post but the food was still tasty. They did serve the pork pink though which we weren't sure about! Had another traditional food - Kaiserschmarrn - huge pieces of torn up thick pancake covered in icing sugar with a plum compote. We realised when it arrived that it was meant as a sharing dish, but still managed to polish it off in addition to Andy's strudel - it was lovely!

Spent the rest of the evening playing cards and drinking Egger beer (well - Andy was!).

Tuesday 20th May - Bad Ischl and Hallstatt

Wow. What a stunning day. Firstly, not a cloud in the bright blue sky this morning. Secondly, words are not adequate to describe the beauty of the landscape we saw today (although pics help a little!). Unfortunately, the travelling is taking its toll on our rapidly increasing budget, but the experiences are worth it so far. 

We took a bus this morning to Bad Ischl, a beautiful little spa town over a river. Took some lovely photos there whilst waiting for our train to Hallstatt. We boarded the train at 12.20pm. I said to Andy, it's funny that this whole trip started with me looking at a picture of Hallstatt and saying 'I have to go there', and there we were! You can reach Hallstatt by bus from Salzburg, but we're so pleased we went in our way; the train meandered around the lake edge and, as the shrubbery parted, revealed the stunning approach. Hallstatt is nestled in the midst of the mountains, with a glistening lake spread out before it. After the train, we got the ferry across to the village. It was baking hot at this point. The views were really breathtaking, photos just don't do it justice. I can honestly say, with the potential exception of the Hall of the Gods (Lake Maligne) in Jasper, BC, Canada, it is the most beautiful place I have been in my life so far. We wandered through the cobbled streets, stopped at a cafe by the lake for banana splits, looked at the beautiful gift shops, marvelled at the views and took lots of photos.

At 4pmish, we took the ferry back, then the train, and finally dozed on the bus to St Gilgen. We went back, freshened up, and walked into town for some lasagne/calzone at one of the lakeside cafes. Although much of the town is still closed until the busy season hits in a few weeks, a bar had opened by the lake this evening. We didn't stay there tonight as we're rapidly running out of money, but vowed to tomorrow night. I think Andy is disappointed at at how quiet the place is in the evenings, but it doesn't bother me. I like the peace. It's what we came here for, as well as the scenery, and we wouldn't have been able to afford to stay in such a stunning place in the height of summer. Less tourists is a plus for me! Still, we had a lovely evening playing cards on the balcony, and will make more of a night of it tomorrow. As long as we don't die in the cable car! 

Wednesday 21st May - Mount Zwolferhorn

The hunt for breakfast, or 'fruhstuck', took us all over the centre of the village and by the lake-front, walking through spookily empty streets for at least the twentieth time so far this week. Thankfully, on our way back from the lake we stumbled upon a beautiful little confectioners that, randomly, also served breakfast. We sat beneath the sun cover and, with a little help from Google translate, managed to order some food. Menus here rarely provide English translations. I established that 'ruhrei' was scrambled eggs and so ordered this with 'toast', which turned out to be a cheese toastie! Andy had ham and eggs, randomly on the menu as 'ham and eggs', also accompanied by a cheese toastie. At least they included ketchup. It was nice to have something other than bread rolls, salami and cheese! 

After breakfast we ambled along to the gondola (or cable car) station and paid 44 euros (!) to ride up to the top of Zwolferhorn mountain,which turned out to be a lot higher than we expected at 1522 metres! Although i can't say i fully relaxed and enjoyed the rickety and scarily high ride up, the views at the top were breathtaking! On one side, you could see St Gilgen all the way along Lake Wolfgang to Strobl. The blue lakes looked like puddles and the villages clusters of monopoly houses. We could only just make out the cable car station we came from when we started the climb. It was another baking hot day, so the views were clear.

On the other side, which you could see from a large wooden viewing deck, the full majesty of the alps was on display. Snow covered mountains lined the horizon, with their tree covered cousins closer to us. The largest we could see, according to the information board, was Mt Dachstein at 2700 metres. We took lots of pics and sat on a bench here, absorbing, for quite a while. Then we walked along the summit to the highest point, where a huge wooden cross stood. After a little while, we sauntered down to Franzl's Hutte, and ate, for the third day in a row, ice cream with cream for lunch! We sat here for a while in the shade, admiring the view and comparing this holiday with others we've been on. We agreed that the beauty of the landscape is second to none, but i think Andy is a little uncomfortable with the German language. I have been doing all of the speaking, and, as i have said previously, it's a shame we won't see St Gilgen in full swing at the height of its busy period. Otherwise, the place is perfect in so many ways. As i'm writing this, on our balcony, Andy is having an afternoon nap, there is a slight afternoon breeze, but the air is mild and it's still sunny. Sonya, our host, is playing with her young son in the parking area at the front of the building. He's very cute when he's not screaming. Anyway... I digress. We spent hours on the viewing deck at the top of the mountain, and finally made the wobbly trip down to the lakeside. 

I have said repeatedly during this trip that i want to swim in the lake, but on reflection, that was rather silly. We sat on some decking and dipped our feet in - it was freezing! Of course, there is still snow on the mountains, what did i expect! We sat for a while in the sunshine watching the swans and electric hire boats, then made our way back to base, and here we are!

It has been a lovely chilled day after two rather hectic ones. More updates later. 

Ate at a restaurant right on the lake. Beautiful view. Food was average. We're not that stunned by it so far. I had a camomile tea after my dinner (was surprised to see that on the menu!) and then we sat out at the funky bar, had some drinks and played cards all evening. First time i've had vodka in god knows how long! I love that they don't bother to measure it either! It's funny, the music they play is often British, although we have heard the Austrian Eurovision winner Conchita a couple of times. They have a lot more exposure to English here than we do to any other language at home. We're both going to have legs like Arnie by the time the week is through from this bloody hill!

Thursday 22nd May - Berchtesgaden, Germany. Nazi documentation centre and Eagle's Nest. 

Another scorcher, unfortunately most of which was spent in sweaty buses! The experience in the middle was worth it though. Our route was as follows: Bus from St Gilgen to Mirabellplatz, Salzburg; bus from here to Berchtesgaden in Germany; bus from Berchtesgaden to Obersalzburg. All in all, with some waiting around in between journeys, this took just over three hours. We arrived in Obersalzburg at lunchtime. This, it turned out, was Hitler's base during the time in which he built his regime. He lived and 'worked' here during the majority of his political 'career'. In what used to be his guesthouse, there is now a nazi documentation centre, full of fascinating memorabilia from the nazi regime. We had an English audio guide and spent several hours here. 

At one point, three soldiers walked in. Andy and I looked at eachother questioningly! It transpired that they were Dutch - Andy explained that the Dutch and Germans have a huge rivalry, often played out during football matches between Germany and Holland, in which the Dutch fans turn up wearing army helmets. So they probably wore their uniform to the centre to make some sort of point. They did keep looking at everyone as if to demand acknowledgement. 

We realised at about 2.15pm that we should catch the shuttle bus to the Eagle's Nest - another 16 Euros each, we haemorrhaged money today. The bus ride up and around the mountain was so scary! I buried my head in Andy's shoulder. On one side of the bus was the face of the mountain, on the other a sheer drop, with only a foot high crumbled stone 'barrier' to 'stop' us from falling. The view, or the bit that i fleetingly saw before ramming my eyes shut, was admittedly incredible. There were a few hairpin turns that literally made my heart skip a beat! The driver wasn't taking his time, and the sheer drop and distant mountains filled all the bus windows. The mist was quite heavy in the distance today, obscuring some of the highest peaks and farthest points, but it was certainly the highest point we had reached during the holiday so far, at 1822 metres. The bus finally pulled into the carpark at the top, with almost 360 degree views of the alps in the distance. I couldn't go within 2 metres of the fence, but Andy went right to the edge to take photos. 

To get up to the eagle's nest itself, we walked through a freezing cold tunnel carved into the mountain and took the original brass elevator (into which we were crammed with about 20 other people) up through the mountain to the building at almost its summit. Odd to think this was the elevator that Hitler would have taken during his 16 visits here. It was built as a 50th birthday present for him in 1937-38, and used for state visits - hilarious given that he was reportedly afraid of heights! 

When we emerged from the elevator it was onto a walkway round to a cafe at the front of the building - now a restaurant. It took me a while to get somewhat comfortable with the height. At first i was backing up to each wall and holding on for dear life! Amazingly, we were so high that there was snow everywhere! Maxi dress and sandals not the best choice of attire then. We climbed the steps and rocks up to the highest point where the obligatory cross stood. We took lots of amazing pics and then walked back down to get an ice cream from the small hut outside of the cafe seating area. We were on a serious budget at this point. When looking at the ice creams, a man with his back to us let out a huge fart and looked around as though it wasn't him. Andy and i had to look away and pretend that we hadn't heard, until I walked away and said 'I can't believe that just happened', Andy said 'me neither' and we both burst out laughing. So, German people fart too. 

We had a brief look inside the building, which looked quite plain actually, aside from a large fireplace, apparently a gift from Mussolini, which had been chipped away at by allied forces looking for a memento. We weren't permitted to see all of the rooms as we weren't booked onto the horrendously overpriced official tour. After a couple of hours we took the lift back down, walked back through the freezing tunnel, and took the scary bus journey down the mountain. Cue lots of buses back to base, with a brief stop for pastries at the backerei in Berchtesgaden. We arrived back at St Gilgen just after 7pm, thoroughly knackered and covered in sweat. We freshened up back at the hotel and ate at the fish restaurant by the lake. Unfortunately, whilst trying to interpret the menu to find some sort of burger-stodge type meal, we managed to order ham and bread, which ended up being a big pile of sandwich meat, with one dry piece of bread each, and horrid sauerkraut! Needless to say, Andy was not amused. When we tried to top this up with frankfurters we were told the kitchen had closed! So we nipped across to Papa Geno's for tea and cake. Then back for another game of crazy eights at the hotel, which took us to 2-2: championship final tomorrow night. 

Friday 23rd May - St Gilgen

What a lovely relaxing day. Got up at 9.45amish, had a long, satisfying and filling brekkie - we filled in Sonya's guestbook too. They had to pop out to the doctor's this morning as their little boy isn't very well :( After breakfast we sauntered down to St Gilgen to browse the few shops - we bought some Austrian chocolates to take home for people and a string of red hearts that chime to hang by our fireplace. We stopped off at Cafe Mannerl, attracted by a huge piece of apple meringue in the window, which we shared a piece of with tea and beer. Then we sat by the lake and fed the fish and birds for a while - or watched a German guy do so and nicked his leftover bread when he'd gone.

Mild temperature today, very cloudy but still warm when the breeze drops. We walked along the front and discovered a new steak/italian restaurant to try this evening, then went back to our funky bar and had drinks and frankfurters. We spent a while here, playing the 'guess who i am' game, and had a happy afternoon, with a brief interruption by some awful and gregarious Americans who wanted the whole room to know that they were there and they were American, like anyone cared. The relief when they left was palpable. I know it's not a nationality thing. There are plenty of Brits abroad that i find just as obnoxious and distasteful, and there would be plenty of Americans who would have cringed at the behaviour of their fellow countrymen. But they weren't a great advert. 

Anyway, after our food and drinks we headed back to the room, sat on the balcony and played cards. We packed a little, ready for tomorrow, and counted how few euros we had left, despite drawing out an extra 180 yesterday - this was not the cheap hol we had anticipated - mostly due to food and bus tickets!

Speaking of food, we just got back from having our final meal at the new place we spotted earlier today, bizarrely called 'M-Place'. We loved it immediately, funky purple neon lighting and plush cubed seating arranged in private candlelit booths. It had a contemporary feel and played great music - Arctic Monkeys, Mumford and Sons etc. The food also seemed amazing, easily the best we've had all week. I say 'seemed', because it looked great and tasted great (i had verdura pizza with Mediterranean veg, Andy had steak with grilled veg - then we shared pancakes with ice cream and chocolate sauce) however, unfortunately, as soon as i ate the dessert my tummy started cramping, and on the walk home Andy started getting cramps too! If it wasn't so coincidental, i would say it was the result of a week's worth of oily and salty food, but we think it was the pancakes. I won't go into detail.

Andy won the crazy eights Austria title; he kept trying to say it was the world title, but i reminded him that it was only the Austrian leg of our world tour - i won the Dartmouth leg last year. 

Saturday 24th May 

Early start today after a rubbish night's sleep for both of us. Our room was boiling and the dodgy food on our unsettled tums didn't help. I had vivid dream after vivid dream, everything from plane crashes, nuclear explosions and witches, to Andy cheating on me with my friend Sue. I woke up screaming about the latter and he told me to shut up. I think these things must be a sign of the impending doom my subconscious is preparing for on my return home. One failed exam, another to sit, going back to a frustrated sedentary lifestyle at work. Not that i couldn't do anything about these things of course. It's funny, Andy has moaned today that his body is fed up of our holiday diet; his skin is oily and spotty, his tummy hurts etc. But, despite my restless night and tum issue yesterday, i feel so much healthier here! I always do on holiday. How he feels is how i feel at home. Here, the fresh, toxin-free water, clean air, plenty of exercise and sunshine, have left my skin blemish free and my body in a much better condition than it was a week ago. I'm relaxed and happy, which helps. It reinforces in me the desire to change something in my life, to achieve a lifestyle that really makes me happy, in whatever form that may take. However, i also, within reason, need to fight against my natural, maternally-inherited instinct to to run from anything i'm not 100% comfortable with. Burying my head in the sand would be too easy and too tempting a state to remain in. On the other hand, i need to live a life i'm fully happy in, you only get one. Andy makes me happy, but i spend most of my week away from him in an environment i don't love, that's what i need to fix. 

I'm sat writing this on a bench at the lakefront in St Gilgen. After a yummy breakfast this morning, we settled up with Sonya and she let us leave our bags in the room until we need to catch our bus to the airport at 1.05pm. It's baking hot again today. Andy is watching the ducks, which he loves. We've established that he likes things that waddle. I hope that doesn't include me. The setting here is stunning. Photos never fully capture the experience of being in a place. The smells, breeze, vastness, sense of depth...

A ferry is bringing people in from St Wolfgang, a man is cleaning one of the five red electroboats for hire along the jetty. The tall masts of small, private boats sat off the bank sway back and forth in the breeze. White clouds with a hint of rain in their bellies lay across the tips of the mountains. The lake is still but constantly rippling with specks of light, reflecting the looming shadows of the mountains like an abstract painting in mottled, dull shades of green. Birds chirp in the trees behind us, ducks and swans squawk harshly to their mates. People mill back and forth around us; snatches of German, dog collars tinkling. The odd car wooshes past on the road behind us, momentarily obscuring the rustle of tree leaves...

Best i can do i'm afraid. 

Andy has gone off to get some water now. The little black moorhen creature with the white beak has come swimming past me. I made friends with him/her yesterday, with the help of some bread. I like him/her because he/she swims about alone, and only comes when the squabbling, domineering ducks have gone. 

Andy is looking at Twitter now. I've had my phone switched off all week, save a couople of brief photo-taking moments. I really feel as though i've had some osrt of detox. Like an oppressive weight has been lifted. Regardless, i know i'll be uploading pictures and comments as soon as i get home. Perhaps just some curbing is necessary!

Andy has now read this and would like to point out that he had a great time and very much enjoyed our holiday. I seem to have only mentioned the points at which he was moaning about something or other hehe!

On the bus on the way to Salzburg we were joined by lots of teenagers, who clearly make a weekend trip to the city each week to escape rural boredom. I realised I haven't bitten my lip once during this holiday. They look the healthiest they've been for a while. We've heard it's been raining back in the UK - at least my plants have been getting some water!

Just at teeny Salzburg airport now with a cuppa and yummy baguette. It's 3.45pm, our plane leaves at 5.40pm and we haven't been able to check in our bags, but i am happy and overwhelmingly contented. 

[thiswomanslife]

Super quick update before I fly off tomorrow into the land before wifi! We had a while to get here this morning as check in isn't until 2pm so we stopped off at stratford retail park where Andy purchased some shorts and I got some new sandals (bargain at £9 I might add!). Had some lunch at Costa and then started the long, traffic-filled and draining drive to Stansted. Made the silly decision to take the A roads instead of risking heavy traffic on the M25, cue heavy traffic and roadworks galore all the way... duh. Got here, in the end, at about 3.40pm. Lovely hotel, beautiful bar area with a huge wine tower that acrobats fly up and down on via wires grabbing wine and doing various flips along the way. See piccy of the tower. Our room is nice, standard good hotel room. Unfortunately the hotel spa wasn't quite equal to its 4 stars. There was a kids swimming lesson going on in the tiny pool so no-one could swim in it. We used the sauna and steam room, and had the typical awkward conversation whilst sweaty and half naked with a guy in the latter. We did feel refreshed and awake when we left though after the horrible drive. Had a gorgeous meal at the hotel's italian restaurant this evening followed by cocktails in the funky wine/acrobat bar afterwards. I'm a terrible flyer and terrified about the flight tomorrow so wish me luck!! Until next time, which happens to be over a week away :( night all x

[thiswomanslife]

Beautifully sunny, and very busy day. The clouds looked like what I like to call 'Rayman clouds', white and fluffy, as though you could bounce on them (a nod to my playstation-spent youth). There is nothing more blissful than a beautiful British summer day. It made me happy. 

Andy and I went to mum and dad's this morning. Nan was there too as she accompanied mum to her Dial appointment in Worcester later in the day. It went well; the lady was very supportive and is going to help mum with her application for disability allowance. It's a sad state of affairs when a lady who has worked all her life and is genuinely struggling with a debilitating, progressive disease, is finding it so difficult to get any support and, on occasion, has been made to feel guilty and undeserving. But hopefully, with this lady's help, she will get it sorted. Anyway, I took some cake round, which was most appreciated. Andy got his new golf club, and we had the usual lively family banter! We then went into Droitwich (heads down in an attempt to avoid seeing anyone we know - so antisocial hehe) to get our Euros and various bits and bobs from Waitrose. 

Afternoon was spent doing various garden chores and vigorously cleaning and waxing Andy's car. I was so shattered afterwards I collapsed on the sofa and fell asleep! Shortly to be woken up by Andy in a 'we need to pack' frenzy. We had dinner first and then spent all evening trying to ram way too many belongings into our new rucksacks and  wondering how the hell we're going to carry them! 

Also, horrendous realisation, well, slight exaggeration, I discovered that our middle-of-the-mountains hotel doesn't offer internet access, so my blog is going to be on hold for the duration of our trip! Just when I thought I was nailed on to complete one of my 'thirty things' fairly soon... :( I'm going to have to start all over again with my 28 blogging days when I get back! At least I should have some interesting things to speak about then :) 

Off to find out how on earth we get there now. 

Until tomorrow x

#holiday #gardening #packing #life #sunny

[thiswomanslife]

Firstly, Happy 27th Birthday Andy! Here is the strawberries and cream birthday cake I made for him. It's not looking quite as whole anymore I'm afraid. I must apologise in advance - this will be such a mini-post as it's currently 11.20pm and I couldn't possibly be more exhausted. My tummy was ok last night, but Andy was fidgeting from approx 7am and I woke up several times during the night with itchy hayfever throat, so I felt like crap this morning and hadn't caught up from the fiasco the night before. I did my duty though and got up to make him birthday bagels with poached eggs. We had a great day at Merry Hill and stopped off to pick up some travel rucksacks on the way home, figuring that it will be easier to carry them than cumbersome suitcases on the buses we need to catch to reach our hotel in Austria. We literally had just enough time when we got home to get Elphie (our bunny rabbit)'s stuff ready to take to Andy's parents (they're bunnysitting for us), and then we were out of the door again. Had a dominos at their house and spent a lovely evening there. Got home late and we're both now truly zonked. Andy has actually fallen asleep on the sofa next to me! So apologies for the boring post. I will have more time for embellishment tomorrow evening! Night all x

[thiswomanslife]

I'll be honest, I've had better mornings. I woke up at 5am with agonising tummy pain. I’ve had tummy pain before, but this was crying out, I can’t move kind of tummy pain. I tried to walk to the toilet and froze midway there. Bless Andy, he wondered what the hell was going on! After about half an hour of rolling around in agony, I called NHS Direct. I knew it wasn’t trapped wind pain and with all the tummy problems I’ve been having I was a bit worried. One of the first things she asked me was something about allowing my call to be used for a survey! I was in so much pain, and was so shocked at the question, I just said ‘What?! I don’t know, whatever.’ As if that’s at the top of their question list! Anyway, she asked me a ton of questions, referred me on to a GP, who asked more questions, and then I was told to take paracetemol and go to Alexandra Hospital in Redditch for an out of hours appointment. Andy drove me, this was at about 6am. I saw a tall Asian doctor wearing jeans who looked and sounded as though he’d had a looong night listening to people’s problems. Thankfully he also seemed to know his stuff. He felt my tummy, tested a urine sample (which was fine), asked me if I’d been tested for H Pylori bacteria (which I have – am waiting for results from my doc) and sent a letter to my GP advising that if I’m negative for H Pylori, my gall bladder should be scanned via ultrasound. He said that the doctor who referred me over the phone was concerned about potential appendicitis, but it definitely wasn’t that. Instead, he suggested it was a symptom of the excess acid in my tummy (bane of my life). By this point, the pain killers had kicked in and I felt much better (although knackered), so we went back home. Just in time for me to get ready for work! *sigh*

After that crappy morning, work was ok. I relaxed into my comfy office chair and had a pretty chilled day. Didn’t eat much for fear of pain; thankfully cups of tea (without which I would lose the will the live) didn’t cause a problem.

Andy and I were so tired this evening we just cuddled and didn't speak much. I did, however, bake the sponge for his cake whilst he tackled a mammoth pile of washing up. Oh the romance! Cream filling, icing and pic to follow tomorrow. 

To make myself chuckle over the past few days I've been watching these 'Honest Trailers' by a company called Screen Junkies. They're really funny, so thought I'd share this link with you. The best I've seen are the ones for Game of Thrones and The Walking Dead. If you search for 'Honest Trailers' on YouTube quite a few come up - some not as good as others but definitely worth checking out! 

I was tackled at work today on why I like Game of Thrones, as its high sex/porn/female nudity content might put a lot of women off. I agree that a lot of this type of content in Game of Thrones is gratuitous and unnecessary. Also, I have watched other shows, with even less sexual content, and decided that they're not for me. So, this did get me thinking, why is GOT any different? It's a shame when one aspect of a programme places the high quality of its other elements i.e. script, cast, production etc. under question, and I'm pleased that my ability to overlook that one irritant has enabled me, in this case, to enjoy what is otherwise a fantastic, superior quality show. After a bit of thought, I realised that, actually, despite the occasional flash of boob and bit of sex in each episode (in most cases from minor characters) the majority of the most developed, intriguing, complex and well-written characters, with the most interesting plot lines, and witty dialogue, are women. The number of times I've almost punched the air in a ridiculous manner because of something amazing and kick-ass that Daenerys Targaryen has done must be in double figures by now. In fact, I can't think of one female character in the main cast that is weak. They are leaders, warriors, fiery, independent, and certainly, to a large extent, in complete control of their own sexuality. This contrasts sharply with other supposed high quality productions I've seen recently, True Detective being one, that use women as cardboard cutout plot-moving props with 3D bits where it counts. Anyway, rant over, I have satisfied my own mind, and must go to bed - I'm so tired! 

Night all x

#gameofthrones #strongfemalecharacters #doctors #illness #life

[thiswomanslife]

Look, I have become one of those annoying people that posts pictures of their dinner! Congrats Cath.. you can cook a meal. Bravo. However, this one was very nice.. Butternut Squash risotto. You guessed it, another Ella recipe; I'm getting through her blog slowly but surely. Her new android app is fab. Only £2.99 and well worth it. I'm going to buy her book when it's out too. This is a large bowl of food to slog through, especially if you're not a fan of rice. Luckily I am, and I love butternut squash. Andy and I really enjoyed it, although did think that it would make the perfect starter in a (much) smaller portion, and it's a bit samey toward the end. A real tummy warmer for me though.. someone who has such a sensitive gut that the wrong meal feels like knives when it lands; this one felt like a hot water bottle. Here is the recipe if you want to try it: http://deliciouslyella.com/roasted-butternut-squash-risotto-vegan-dairy-free-gluten-free/ and now, enough about my dinner... I can't actually believe I wrote a paragraph about it. 

There isn't much to report from today. Work was good, Maz and I had a laugh and the office was generally quite jolly. Poor Bee wasn't in as her dad was in intensive care over the weekend. I've since spoken to her and he's now in another ward, out of the woods so to speak, but still very poorly. It must have been terrifying for her. 

After dinner Andy and I popped to Tesco to get ingredients for his birthday cake, which I'm going to bake tomorrow night. Nothing hugely ambitious due to lack of time! Just a strawberries and cream cake that I've baked several times before, and he always raves about it. I'll post a pic tomorrow. We had planned to pick up our Euros too but arrived fifteen minutes after the travel desk had closed!

As we were paying separately for various things, we went to separate self-service checkouts, and sure enough, after about 30 seconds I heard 'Please wait for assistance' on the checkout behind me, I turned around to see Andy's furious face staring at me so I burst out laughing, much to the surprise of the person next to me. He is awful with those things. Really, it has become a standing joke that every time he uses one something goes wrong! Most amusing. 

See.. my dinner really was the most interesting thing that happened to me today! 

Now I need to hijack the TV as I'm missing Game of Thrones.

Night all x

#butternutsquashrisotto #healthyeating #tesco #life

[thiswomanslife]

Quick filler on last night's events - Andy and I were bored and restless, so decided to go for a 'left or right' drive, in which we take it in turns to pick 'left or right' in the hope we'll end up somewhere new and vaguely interesting. We didn't, really, although we did drive through some beautiful villages in the surrounding area that we'd not seen before.

On our way home, we had a huge 'chippy' vs 'healthy dinner' debate, during which I weighed heavily in on the 'chippy' side. Andy was the little devil on my shoulder, reminding me that we should save money and eat the food we already had at home, so I caved and we drove home. Once there, Andy began to cook, dropped a few things in the kitchen, shouted 'for fuck's sake', at which I fired back, 'told you, it's a chippy night, I can feel it in my bones'... he walked into the lounge... 'shall we go back and get chips?'... we got chips. And they were very yummy. 

I hijacked the TV for the evening as I wanted to watch some Eurovision. We got through a few hilarious entries, including Poland's mildly pornographic offering, and then switched over to 'Man on a Ledge', which, despite the naff title, was actually pretty good. Sam Worthington is the lead so I was always going to like it. That was that for Saturday evening.

Sunday has been a bit 'stir crazy' for me. Andy had left for golf by the time I arose from my pit after another fitful night. I then wasted time making faffy healthy banana and blueberry pancakes for breakfast, they were very tasty (recipe = http://deliciouslyella.co.uk/tag/vegan-banana-pancakes-gluten-free/) but I had major pan-sticking issues, so half of the mixture is currently sitting in the fridge as I couldn't be bothered to wreck another pan making any more of them. I tweeted Ella to ask for non-stick advice, and she suggested a new pan! 

After my breakfast faff, I finished working on Mum's CV whilst Mark Wahlberg and Dwayne Johnson annoyed the hell out of me in Michael Bay's outrageously shite 'Pain & Gain'. I didn't immediately hate it, but as the characters started to grate on me, I did a bit of background reading, and discovered that, yet again, Hollywood have taken a true story and glamorised it, in this case to the detriment of torture and murder victims, whose attackers were turned into bumbling, caricature, anti-heroes and whose plight was completely exploited for comedy value. Quite sickening really. I dislike Michael Bay. So I turned it off halfway through.

Andy came home from golf briefly before swanning off again to watch the football at the pub. I finished mum's CV and sent it to her, she was very pleased with it thankfully. I then cooked a roast for Andy's return (check out the attempt at domestic goddess status), which was scrumptious, if I do say so myself. We had a bash at COD this evening as we haven't played in ages and I felt like shooting nazis to release some pent up 'I've been in the house on my arse all day' energy, but it was short-lived, as we quickly realised why we stopped playing in the first place. Ghosts really is the worst one yet.

We also had a quick look at what we might do when we get to Austria next week ( :D ), and have decided that in our six day trip, there are three day trips we're definitely doing...

1) Salzburg

2) Halstatt - including the ice caves and salt mine

3) Berchtesgaden, which is actually in Germany, but should take just a couple of hours to get to. The Eagle's Nest is here, a complex built for Hitler's 50th birthday on a stunning mountain sub-peak. You can have a tour of the site and the WWII bunker system beneath too. 

The other three days we'll probably spend around where we're based, in St Gilgen, near St Wolfgang. There is plenty to explore. The more I look into it the more I realise what an incredible part of Europe this is, and how much culture/history and breathtakingly beautiful landscape there is to take in. I am so much more excited about this trip than I ever have been about our sun-chasing jaunts to Spain, Portugal or Greece. I have a feeling this won't be our first trip to this part of the world. 

Anyway, off for cuddles now as I feel a bit disconnected today. 

Night all x

#austria #eaglesnest #painandgain #fishandchips #bananapancakes #callofduty

[thiswomanslife]

It's 2pm, and i'm sat alone in my lounge with a cup of tea, a piece of millionaires cheesecake and Alanis Morissette playing in the background. Just to set the scene. Jagged Little Pill is my 'life album'. Not sure if everyone has one of those, Andy doesn't seem to. But Alanis has been there with me, belting out the same raw songs, through each year of my teenage and adult life. Playing the album makes me feel instantly better in any situation... as though I know who I am. It must be the feminist angst thing... anyway, here is a taster for anyone who fancies an audio pick-me-up: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQ8D5Ihe4hg&feature=kp

Andy and I popped into Worcester this morning as he had a hair appointment. So I made my gazillionth trip to Sainsbury's this week and bought, yep... you guessed it... more food! On my way back to the car I noticed that a little bird was stuck in Andy's grate, and was clearly in little birdy heaven. It made me sad, bless it, what a rubbish way to go. Turns out Andy realised he hit it a few weeks ago, and didn't bother to check the front of his car to see if it was still alive! Poor little fella. Or lady. 

We came home, had lunch, watched the end of Pacific Rim, which I really enjoyed (it appealed to my cheesy sci-fi taste) and now he's gone off to the driving range and here I am. I have so much college work to do, so of course I have come straight to my Tumblr sanctuary, where all that's required of me is some waffle about my day. I also need to polish up my mum's CV, as she's looking for a new job. That's not a heavy task though as she's done a good job of it, so shouldn't take too long. 

I realise that this blog was born from a desire to write about my 'thirty things to do before i'm thirty' list, and I haven't yet ticked any of them off! But bear with me folks. Progress will be made, I just work at my own leisurely pace.

If anything remotely interesting occurs this afternoon/evening, I'll update, otherwise... chow for now x 

#alanis #college #life

[thiswomanslife]

Apologies. Just set myself up to write and realised I’d failed on the photo front AGAIN today, so here are the very dark bbq flavour kettle chips I am currently munching on… along with Andy’s hand. 

Today was a jolly, happy day in the office for the most part. We played ‘the game’ as we like to call it, whilst working of course. The game involves one person thinking of a celebrity (usually a male actor) and the others asking questions to determine who it is. Yes, everyone knows it and everyone has played it. We’ve had four years of fun out of it at work - definitely running out of actors. 

The day did take a dark turn, however, when Bee (one of my colleagues) found out that her dad had been taken into hospital with suspected blood poisoning. She left a little early to visit him. I really felt for her. She’s a ray of sunshine in our office and does a lot for her family. I hope he gets better soon. 

I popped to Sainsbury’s on the way home and purchased a millionaires cheesecake with cream for pud tonight, along with naan breads, poppadoms and mango chutney to go with our curry. We realised we hadn’t bought any sweet potato for it but parsnips saved the day! I do love a good parsnip curry. When I got home, Andy revealed two bags of kettle chips! So we had a veritable feast this evening. We actually ate at the table too, with background music courtesy of the strokes. Friday tradition.

Some great news to report - Andy and I will be visiting our lovely friends Carol and Chris in Newcastle later this year. When we visited in Easter last year, it was the furthest north I’d been by some way (my previous record was Loughborough!) and we had an awesome time. It’s a lovely city, and I miss Carol, one of my best friends who I don’t see enough for my liking. Of all my friends I think we share the most interests and every time I see her it strikes me how much I miss spending time with her. So that will be great, and I can’t wait!

It also launched Andy and I into a ‘Fog on the Tyne’ competition, in which we had to sing those words in the most convincing geordie accent we could muster. Unfortunately, mine kept turning into Bollywood, as most of my accents do. I was even doing the side to side head movements involuntarily. I don’t know where it comes from - I must have been Indian in a previous life. So Andy won that one… although his was rubbish too! 

Our Friday evening has been pretty standard otherwise… we caught up on Great British Menu and Eastenders (deja vu anyone?) and when I’ve finished this I’m hoping we’re going to watch the first episode of the new 24, set in London, yay! We watch far too much TV. 

So… off to watch some more TV… 

Night all x

#24 #guessthecelebrity #newcastle #visitingfriends #life