twoninetieskids

[twoninetieskids]

27 years, 4 relatives as railway employees and the Dudette still had to ask the conductor what this sign meant.

It’s basically for people who have certification stating they need to sit during train journeys. There’s a logo for that.

#belgian rail #strange sign #bureaucracy #please give up your seat #there's two signs for that #disability card is not good enough #being over 65 isn't good enough #being pregnant or visibly injured isn't good enough #they have their own agency to get a card that means you get to insist on sitting in this seat #because that's simpler

[twoninetieskids]

Ever looked at a trash can and thought ‘you’re not my real mom’?

#belgian rail #nmbs #be clean #you're not the boss of me #don't litter #I'm clean dammit #I shower #I recycle #I change my socks before they get stinky #you're just an obnoxious blue box

[twoninetieskids]

Porn for ninth graders, stolen from an older brother in fifth grade.

Standards have since improved.

#vrijen #personal growth #nostalgia #books #what was I thinking #that is the protagonist #he gets laid #if he can get laid so can you #seems to be the general message #that and don't pressure people to have sex #all of it was true

[twoninetieskids]

Dudette’s parents put us in Dudette’s old room for once, so we had access to a stack of old comic books.

#billy & buddy #nostalgia #comics #light reading #mood

[twoninetieskids]

Talked to an innocent cinnamon bun about safe sex, and they thought condoms were expensive, and confusing and--

Yeah, just buy the half-generic options.

They’re that one brand you see in most supermarkets, under the big name brands, but they never seem to have ads anywhere. 

They have like three types, no fancy pet names, and cost less than a large frappucino for a dozen. Check for the CE logo, an expiration date, and no warnings that say ‘vaginal sex only’.

#psa #safe sex #don't be silly wrap your willy #condoms #4 euros #literally 4 euros #you do not need fancy #you need reliable #you need normal #start at the standard model and move up or down from there #avoid billy boy those things are tiny

[twoninetieskids]

We’re assuming this is what the park employees look like on the inside, halfway through the season.

#dolphin #trash can #i've seen things #stressful job #so many screaming people #the restaurant staff forgot orders while they were cooking them #there's seven things on the menu #hire a few temps

[twoninetieskids]

Dude made a very smart friend.

#Tierpark klotten #goat #petting zoo #feeding time #clever girl #do not look at the other goats #feed only me #hello #yes #food nao #look what I can do #they can't do that #I can do this #I deserve a reward for figuring this out #I am making it easy for you #just pour the entire thing down my throat

[twoninetieskids]

That’s a single afternoon.

Summer can end now.

#bottles #pfand #water #heat wave #thirst #forever peeing #forever sweating #forever drinking #WHY ARE NO STORES OPEN ON A SUNDAY?

[twoninetieskids]

The mural dude was great with boats and islands.

Then someone suggested adding the birth of Venus, and we got hours of dinner conversation.

#mural #birth of venus #you tried #I can't do better #someone got paid for this #different things each time you look #that's a cousin bending out of the way #she didn't want to spoil the view #I have no idea what she was eating #she didn't finish it

[twoninetieskids]

Dudettemom: “Person who drinks a lot. Nine letters.”

Dudette; -spells mom’s name-

Aaand that’s when we got un-invited from ‘Crossword puzzles and local wine night’.

#crossword #wine #uncalled for #go to your room #the wine was excellent #she had one glass

[twoninetieskids]

First hike of the vacation on a mountain with spotty cell reception at best, and this little girl shows up just as we reach the top.

#vacation #hiking #good luck #pokemon go #pikachu

[twoninetieskids]

Safety hippo got us through five hours of traffic, and down a mountain road full of hairpin bends that looked to be a one-way street until it suddenly and abruptly turned out not to be.

#road trip #hippo #safety first #a twenty-seven percent decline #asphalted forest trail #note to self #if there are signs indicating maximum height and weight #if there are signs saying 'last turning opportunity' #if these signs are on a new road in an open field #turn back and let the gps recalculate #you do not need that kind of drama in your life

[twoninetieskids]

When their kids plan a trip home, normal moms ask for snacks, or ‘nothing, having you home is gift enough’.

Dudettemom asked for dollar store window bug nets. The Belgian stores don’t have them.

#bug nets #homecoming #can I get you anything? #anything for mom #perfectly normal family #do not question why she needs it #just scour all the dollar stores until you find one stocking it

[twoninetieskids]

“What do you want on your nails today?”

“Panda butts.”

“Panda butts.”

“Oh, and pink.”

“Pink?”

“Like... Violently pink.”

“I... uh... Sure, whatever, before I change my mind.”

#nail art #panda #butts #pink #patience #long suffering nail tech

[twoninetieskids]

One day the rainbow cake will work.

ONE DAY.

#cake #baking #rainbow #if at first you don't succeed #repeated failure #it looked fine at first #I'll try again #someday

[twoninetieskids]

...Ew. Just ew.

#pizza burger #hotdog #limited edition #thank god #junk food #I do not know what that stain is #and I'm not asking #half these things I don't want to eat ever #three different fast foods #in one #no #stop #you've gone too far

[twoninetieskids]

-heavy breathing-

#pool toy #unicorn #i neeeeed it #fifty bucks #ouch #when are you gonna use it #where are going to keep it? #no #just no