another-stupid-writing-blog

[another-stupid-writing-blog]

[ID: A cake with “congrats on the autism” written on it]

i got formally diagnosed this week after years of waiting/knowing and my friend mailed a professionally custom made cake to my house

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Do you ever have that thing?

You know, where someone says nearly everyone in [group you’re in] was traumatized through one means or another

And you’re like “What? I wasn’t traumatized by any of that!”

But then you think about it further and you’re like “well there’s that one specific little thing I’m still kinda upset about sometimes, does that count?”

And then your circumstances change and your coping mechanism gets taken away, and then The Symptoms start, and you’re forced to think about that one specific thing constantly

And you’re like “yeah, that definitely counts”

#tw: trauma #tw: mental illness

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[ID: Image 1: Cartoon of a man asleep at his desk. To the right is a fruit juicer and a large number of filled lemonade bottles. To the left is a large pipe still shooting lemons at him, with even more lemons scattered all over the floor.

Images 2 and 3: TV show screenshots. A tired older man says “But I hate the lemonade business. I hate the grind. You have to grind so many [beep] lemons.”]

Source

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I’m sorry, my friend

[ID: Picture of a plate captioned “Your username is what’s served on this plate, and you must eat it all. How screwed are you?”]

[another-stupid-writing-blog]

[ID:

Image 1: Text reading 2,254 notes

Image 2: 10,563 notes

Image 3: 24,325 notes

Image 4: Frog]

Twitter User: I wish I had more followers, then I’d be more likely to get verified.

Facebook User: I wish my posts reached further, then I’d get famous.

Instagram User: I wish I had more followers so I can unlock more basic features for my account.

TikTok User: I wish I had more views then I’d be a real influencer.

Tumbler User: I specifically didn’t tag this so no one would find it why does it have 200k notes? Who the hell are these people following me? All of you need to go away so I can go back to posting incomprehensible garbage and pictures of frogs.

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I wonder if I can block myself from seeing my own posts

#tony the tiger

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The Plains Revisited

Your name is Jack.

 It’s been hard trying to find food since Alexis left. It’s almost like the animals are afraid to come out. You’ve instead had to pluck herbs, leaving the other villagers a bit protein-deprived.

They’ve even started joking that you’re better as a gatherer than as a hunter. You resent this notion.

 You really didn’t want it to come to this, but you guess you have no choice. If game is not present here, you’ll go where it is plentiful – the woods. You just hope that you’re not seen by anyone.

 As the forest entrance reaches your view, a rabid wolf limps its way out from the trees. You don’t want to serve something that could make the others sick, but you figure it’ll at least make good compost for the farmer.

 Besides, it’s in your way.

 BATTLE START!

 From a distance, you fire your Hunting Bow.

 It auto-crits against the animal!

 You deal 11 damage, downing it in one hit.

 YOU WIN!

You gain 100 XP!

 *

 As you go to collect the body, you peek up at the forest. Through the trees, you see a human in full-plate armor limp towards you, dripping foam from his mouth.

 You immediately turn away and run back to Anglers’ Dive.

 *

 You reconvene with the other villagers, and tell them about everything.

 ALICE: Finally, something to do!

 CATHERINE: Now is not the time for jokes!

 JACK: Exactly. Now is the time to run.

 ALICE: Pfft! From just one zombie? We fought a whole army of living people before, not to mention an army of monsters. I think we got this.

 ADAM: I agree, but we still need to come up with a plan. I don’t have a way to contain any outbreaks yet.

 ALICE: Ugh, strategy?! Boring!

 ADAM: I know, but still. If these things are anything like Jack’s stories, anyone infected will turn just like them.

 JACK: Yes. That’s why I suggest we run.

 JOSEPH: But if we run, we’ll have less to work with if he does catch us!

 KENNETH: Let’s draw a vote. All in favor of leaving, say “Aye”, and all against, say “Nay”.

 JACK: Aye!

 CATHERINE: Aye!

 ALICE: Nay!

 ADAM: Nay!

 JOSEPH: Nay!

 KENNETH: …Well, if I voted now, it’d be a tie, but that gets us nowhere, so I won’t. That’s 2 for, 3 against, 1 neutral. We stay and defend!

 JACK: Oh, that’s bullshit!

 CATHERINE: Language!

 KENNETH: So, how do we want to do this?

 ALICE: Ooh! Ooh! Let me fight him!

 KENNETH: Alright, cool, Alice is on front lines.

 CATHERINE: Now, wait just a moment! Didn’t Alexis appoint me to handle these sorts of problems?

 KENNETH: Yep, you’re right. How do you suggest we handle this?

 CATHERINE: Hmmm… Well, a vote is a vote, even if issued without my permission. We will stay. Jack has his greatest effect when far away, but he’ll need many arrows to stay effective for long. Alice, I’d like you to forge as many as you can in the meantime.

 ALICE: You got it, chief!

 CATHERINE: I’m also told that bludgeoning tools have far greater effect through armor than bladed weapons. Alice, we’ll want your smithing hammer on the front lines.

 ALICE: Yes!

 CATHERINE: I know how to make antibiotics, as well as masks to protect everyone from his foam. I will not be an effective healer if I am unconscious or aggressive, so I will stay inside. Come to me if you are infected.

 JACK: If that’s an option, can I be on the roof?

 CATHERINE: If you believe that will help.

 JOSEPH: I just thought of an idea.

 CATHERINE: Alright.

 JOSEPH: I have some extra food that I can use as bait.

 CATHERINE: Great! Why don’t you and Jack set up traps for the zombie? We’ll see if he falls for it, and then stay out of infection range, unless he escapes.

 ADAM: Is there anything I can do?

 CATHERINE: Hmmm… Perhaps you and Kenneth should build a fence. That should give Jack more opportunity to strike before there is risk of hitting anyone else.

 ADAM: And when the battle starts?

 CATHERINE: Alice is our strongest fighter. You, Joseph, and Kenneth should stay close behind her until needed.

 ALICE: Also, Kenny, use the back end of your axe. Joe and Adam, aim for the head.

 KENNETH: Okay.

 JOSEPH: Got it!

 ADAM: Yep.

 ALICE: Anything else, boss?

 CATHERINE: No, I believe that is all. Proceed.

#vengeance of aldrick #the vengeance of aldrick #text adventure #rpg #fantasy #zombie #zombie virus #healing magic #magic #medieval fantasy

[another-stupid-writing-blog]

For those who have overactive guilt complexes like me…

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Today, all those kids whose parents named them Dovahkiin for a free game are now 10 years old. Next year, they will be in middle school. Wish them luck!

#skyrim #elder scrolls #gaming #game history #todd howard

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Bonus points: The player ALSO has a kazoo and plays a six-second ditty with every spell.

A bard, but their instrument is a dollar store kazoo

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(ID:

Image 1 is of the emoticon turned 90 degrees. It looks like a smiling face with one eyebrow raised

Image 2: Several shots of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson raising his eyebrow.

End ID)

EVERYONE STOP I JUST LEARNED A NEW EMOTICON

‘,:)

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im trying to go to sleep but i cannotttttt stop thinking about this and laughing

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wait that’s just a mine post canceled

Writing advice: Don’t be afraid to come up with ideas based on a pun.

Just tonight, I came up with the Midas Well, a magical well that pulls gold out of the ground instead of water.

[another-stupid-writing-blog]

Writing advice: Don’t be afraid to come up with ideas based on a pun.

Just tonight, I came up with the Midas Well, a magical well that pulls gold out of the ground instead of water.

[another-stupid-writing-blog]

[ID:

Image 1: Art of Coral, a mermaid with pink scales and hair, gold rings on her ear-fins, and light skin, sitting in a river and looking at the camera with an annoyed expression.

Image 2: Art of Willow, a centaur girl with white fur, green hair, and dark skin, pulling Coral in for a kiss on the cheek

End ID]

- and they were roommates 💧🍃

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[ID. Comic

Panel 1: A judge stands at a podium and says “In conclusion, from the evidence gathered…”

Panel 2: Victor Frankenstein and his monster stand at their own podiums, sweating nervously. Victor’s lawyer is Igor while the creature’s is a werewolf. The judge continues: “The creature created by Mr. Frankenstein…”

Panel 3: The judge continues: “IS legally his son and entitled to his surname, will, land, and Christmas gatherings.” Victor slams his head on the podium in defeat while Igor apologizes. The monster celebrates by punching the hair off of the werewolf.

Panel 4: The judge says “Congratulations, Mr. Frankenstein,” and the monster says “Oho, please, call me Adam.”

Panel 5: Adam continues: “Mr. Frankenstein was my father’s name!” Victor throws Igor through a window. The werewolf looks at his smooth skin and whispers “I’m cured.”

End ID]

I will continue to call The Creature “Frankenstein” and no force in Heaven or Earth will impede that.

[another-stupid-writing-blog]

Don Quixote

[ID:

Image 1: Shaking hands solidarity meme. One arm is labeled “Dracula”, and the other is labeled “Frankenstein”. The point where they meet is labeled “No adaptation following the original story”

Image 2: 3-handed version of the meme. The third hand is labeled “Jekyll and Hyde”.

Image 3: 5-handed version. The fourth hand is “Phantom of the Opera” and the fifth is “The Picture of Dorian Gray”

End ID]

I’m not bitter