avoidant-animal

[avoidant-animal]

ASPD and being a "bad person"

the backhanded support for aspd

There's a very backhanded type of support for people with ASPD. In attempts to get moral highground and fight against the demonization/stigmatization of the disorder, it's almost entirely watered down to "Oh you just lack empathy and have mean thoughts :)". It's entirely infantilized to the point where people who actually exhibit their real symptoms are just "bad people", or "using their disorder as an excuse for their bad behaviour" because "that's not what ASPD is actually like!!"

Moralizing disorders does nothing but cause harm to people suffering from mental health issues. You cannot cherry pick which presentations of ASPD are deemed acceptable when the whole disorder revolves around being and doing socially unacceptable things.

"It's ok if you lack empathy!" Is the only support I really see for ASPD, which is true, but only if we don't have empathy in ways that they think is acceptable.

I don't have empathy for people of colour, or people with disabilities, or trans folk. My empathy can't just turn on for people who I know deserve it. I can't relate to their struggles, I can't feel for them, I can't even really care. And lacking the empathy required for me to feel these things towards others is exactly what causes me issues in my life. It's socially unacceptable. It's dysfunctionally anti-social.

But thats very much the tip of the iceberg. Lacking empathy isn't even in the DSM-5 criteria for ASPD, and a lot of people with ASPD do experience empathy in their own way.

There's also the issue of "it's ok to be angry, it's ok to have mean thoughts, as long as you don't act on them" or "it's ok to not care, as long as you pretend you do" or "it's ok if you lack empathy as long as you're compassionate"

The issue is that people with ASPD are only supported and accepted if they're in a place where they can conform to prosocial behaviour, which is incredibly difficult to do and does require a degree of recovery. And not a lot of people are willing, or able to, get to that point in recovery.

If you say you support people with mental health issues, then you need to accept the part that actively causes problems as well, even if it makes you uncomfortable. You can't just love the "antisocial personality" and hate the "disorder".

People with ASPD will act in ways that makes them a morally "bad person". That's the entire premise of the disorder. If you water it down to the point where the person suffering has to be good and follow your social standards, then that's not an anti-social disorder anymore.

And I know it's hard to stomach people with ASPD sometimes, especially if they're not in recovery at all. We can be mean, insensitive, aggressive, insulting, morally skewed, or just a complete asshole in general. We can say unacceptable things, we can do wrong, and we're prone to it. You don't have to like someone to support them.

Supporting someone with mental health issues doesn't mean you have to like what they do, or who they are, or be friends with them. You're allowed to remove someone from your life if they're causing issues in yours. Supporting someone with mental health issues means you are able to leave them alone, and not go out of your way to shame them for things currently out of their control.

Yes, recovery is very important, but trust me as a recovering addict and someone with ASPD, you cannot force someone to be better. All they need is to know that they have room to breathe and grow. Support is giving people the space to do that. Backhanded 'support' is saying that you'll let them have that space but only if they currently fit in to your personal standards.

[avoidant-animal]

my anger has consumed me, it has made me horribly bitter. Which means I am every bit as bad as my mother.

#rb

[avoidant-animal]

posting this here cuz it's the realest thing I've ever seen. shitty quality makes it funnier 🫶

#rb

[avoidant-animal]

I hate talking about the fact that I have paranoid delusions bc ppl always feel the need to use it as "proof" that all my words should be discredited or that I must be miserable and alone or that I should be put in an asylum etc etc etc.

I'm a normal person. You pass me in the streets. You smile at me and wave at me. You hold the door open for me. You compliment my outfit. I'm not a danger, nor am I miserable or unfit for society. I am a normal person.

If you find out someone has delusions and immediately use it against them, you are ableist. No way around it. You are ableist.

#rb

[avoidant-animal]

dear npd people with manipulative tendencies that theyre working on, i love you

dear npd people with intrusive thoughts, i love you

dear npd people with a billion different blogs for all the possible attention, i love you

dear npd people with low or no empathy who dont try to mask it, i love you

dear npd people with low or no empathy who DO try to mask it, i love you

dear npd people who have been told they're wrong their whole lives, i love you

dear npd people, i love you

#rb

[avoidant-animal]

i am a terrible person. and when i say that i dont mean it metaphorically. i am abusive and manipulative and horrible and the way ive treated people in the past is disgusting. if younger me saw me now she would be horrified. i dont know how people deal with me knowing all of the things ive done.

#bpd #actually bpd #bpd vent #bpd safe #bpd thoughts #actually cluster b #cluster b safe #cluster b

[avoidant-animal]

HPD culture is telling people to watch or read things that you love. But also hating when they get into it. Because, um?? That's my thing??? Why the heck do you like the same thing as me. And then splitting on them.

- 🕊️💫

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#rb

[avoidant-animal]

academic validation is my favorite form of supply. tell me how i'm so good at something, praise me for getting good grades, say im asking great questions, tell me i'm an amazing student

#avoidant animal #actually narcissistic #actually npd #npd safe #actually histrionic #actually hpd #hpd safe

[avoidant-animal]

npd culture is getting genuinely confused when people are upset that you don’t care about things unless it directly affects you. like.. if it doesn’t cause me issues, why should i care? i don’t get it. it’s not my job to care about things that don’t affect me. -🪐🫀

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#rb

[avoidant-animal]

#rb

[avoidant-animal]

periodic reminder to not use the term "narc abuse truther" because the origins of "<term> truther" are antisemitic!

#rb

[avoidant-animal]

sudden urge to burst into tears. im not a toddler i just agree with their beliefs

#rb

[avoidant-animal]

the narc moment when you have to convince yourself you're better than someone who hurt you because otherwise you'll be unable to function.

#rb

[avoidant-animal]

i made a couple new internet friends and for the first day i was okay. but then i just got more and more burnt out and now i dont want to do anything. i wonder how long it would take them to notice i stopped posting on my main account and i stopped responding to all messages. i wonder if anyone would even care. i want them to care but at the same time i just want peace. i just want to be alone.

#avoidant animal #avpd #actually avpd #actually avoidant #avoidant personality disorder

[avoidant-animal]

#rb

[avoidant-animal]

incredibly paranoid because i lost the usb for my computer mouse and then my headphones stopped working for some reason for some reason my brain put the two together and im just so fucking scared i cant help but thinking i wanna go home even though im in my house this doesnt feel right

#avoidant animal #actually schizospec #schizospec #schizo spectrum

[avoidant-animal]

having avpd and npd/hpd traits is so terrible because i have this constant need for attention from other people that i can never really get because the second i do get attention my brain instantly goes into panic mode and it feels disgusting so i just run away like i always do

#avoidant animal #avpd #avpd vent #npd #npd vent #npd safe #npd + avpd #npd + hpd