azems-familiar

[azems-familiar]

the hobbits

[azems-familiar]

A surprisingly helpful bit of social maneuvering I've figured out from trial and error: Throughout your life, you are going to need things from people. Often, it's going to be on a deadline. And when that deadline passes, you generally want to know what's going on. So, you need to ask them.

There are two kinds of people, broadly, in this situation. The Shameless will tell you what the holdup is, with absolutely no regard for if the reason is "good enough". This is actually very helpful, because you get the real reason immediately, and can start working on a solution.

The Ashamed is trickier. People who are Ashamed are people who were often told they were giving excuses when they were trying to explain, and they'll often avoid you until they solve the problem on their own. This causes them and you a lot of stress, and often takes a lot longer to solve.

Long term, the strategy for dealing with people who are Ashamed is to provide a supportive environment where they're comfortable sharing any problems they're having with getting things done. But, there's a way to at least partially short-circuit that:

Provide an explanation for them.

One example might be "Hey Susan, I noticed that I don't have your report yet. Are you busy with other projects?" The readymade explanation signals that you're willing to accept an explanation, which is the big anxiety point.

Sometimes, you still won't get an honest answer- especially if the honest answer isn't "good enough" by the standards of the person who traumatized them. But, I've found that it often at least gets you a lie that lets you give them some slack or work around the problem.

Let's say that Susan has actually completely forgotten that she needed to do the report. She's horrified at herself, and completely unwilling to admit the real problem. But, she can now safely reply with "Sorry Jennifer, I've been swamped, and it got lost in the mix. I can have it to you in two days. Does that work?"

From there, so long as Susan gave an estimate for when she can actually do it, she and Jennifer can hash out a solution.

It's not a perfect solution, but it works astonishingly well for how small of a change it is.

#as someone in the latter category this is very helpful yeah

[azems-familiar]

i am not immune to stories in which characters who have endured harsh, empty existences become absolutely transformed by someone’s sincere love for them and learn to live

#do i dare tag this as #emetwol #or #emetraha #sits over in my unhinged little corner. i need to name this ot3 something

[azems-familiar]

I made up a way to explain fatigue!

#oh hey this is actually a really useful metaphor i think

[azems-familiar]

BEHOLD: THE MOST POWERFUL SPELL OF ALL 🔫

#ffxiv #behold a sorcerer of eld

[azems-familiar]

a dance in vermilion.

#ffxiv #WHAT shirt is that.

[azems-familiar]

guys you load into duty roulettes with

#ffxiv #yeah

[azems-familiar]

@sunderedazem @ectojyunk

op turned off reblogs but i want this post on my blog

#ffxiv #HGJDJAJAHHSHF HOWLING

[azems-familiar]

#ffxiv #i just started another ng+ because i decided i simply Needed to do it again #makes me so insane

[azems-familiar]

pissing each other off as foreplay

#azemet

[azems-familiar]

Haven`t drawn too much because i was away so here are some older Lotr paintings from my sketckbook, plus a Thorin pencil sketch

#lotr #THESE ARE GORGEOUS

[azems-familiar]

looking for fellow vanilla ffxiv enjoyers just because i feel lame about my preference to not mod the game at all. i know this applies to console players by default, but i more specifically mean you're on pc and could, but have zero interest. you're just cool with how the game is by default.

#i don't mod at all and the more people tell me i should just mod when i complain about minor things #the more I'm like nah I'm not gonna do it #yeah it means i can't play nier because of eyesight issues. yeah Lelesu doesn't have textured hair #(that one bothers me but I'm very used to my video game screenshots not looking like the actual design in my head) #yeah it means everyone else can do way cooler glams and gposes #but I'm not gonna do it

[azems-familiar]

the funniest thing in the entire pirates of the caribbean series is definitely that one scene in At World’s End where they have parlay but davy jones is part of it, and rather than have him stand in the shallows or something they get a big bucket of water and have in stand on it on shore

who thought of that idea? who thought “put davy jones in a bucket of water” and had the guts to suggest it aloud? and then who went “hey that sounds like a great idea!”

at some point someone told davy jones their idea was for him to stand in a bucket of water and he agreed to it

#i love this post

[azems-familiar]

No offense but where are the male porn bots

#oh this is NOT the version of this post i usually see and that's really funny actually

[azems-familiar]

Does this mean catboys can't loaf during Passover...

holy shit wait

idk why I made this

#unleavened catboy

[azems-familiar]

The default length of pasta is designed to fit on a supermarket shelf, not to be the best length for cooking/eating.

Feel free to break it to any length you want (don't let the Italians know I said this)

#perfect time to bring this back

[azems-familiar]

i really wish…i can share the warmth i feel when i’m at synagogue with other people at the least i want non-jews to hear our worship and how beautiful it is i think it would change a lot

#jumblr #i want to listen to these later......