binbons-character-stuff - Tumblr blog

binbons-character-stuff · 3 years

Text

The Thief of Joy

This was requested by @emmaloo21 like a hundred years ago.

"Hey," you heard a whisper from around the corner from where you were definitely not hiding, and then Peter's golden head peeked at you from the other side of the shelf of books in the library.

You hurried to dash away your tears, but Peter had two younger sisters and could see the signs of crying well enough. "Oh, darling, don't cry," he soothed, sitting next to you and pulling you into his arms, your head going naturally into the crook of his neck.

"I am not crying," you said, though Peter could feel the dampness of your cheek against his neck.

"Shhh," he shushed you. "It will be alright, I promise."

"Of course it will," you said, pulling back a bit and forcing a smile to your face. "You're here."

Peter smiled at you with genuine affection. You had fallen into his family so naturally that it felt like you were another sister most of the time. "Tell me what has you sad and I'll fix it straightaway."

You chuckled. "Just having you here is enough."

"Darling, you know I'll always be here for you, don't you?" Peter crooned to you as he rocked back and forth.

"Of course, Peter. I never feel so safe as when I'm with you," you said honestly, if a bit sadly.

Caspian sighed silently, heart shattering a little more as he witnessed what he had suspected for some time: you loved Peter.

And who could blame you? He was young, handsome, courageous -- well, aside from 'young' he was everything that Caspian wasn't and probably never would be. And Caspian could accept all of it from everyone but you. You were his life. You had been inseparable until his escape; most of his people assumed the two of you would marry one day; he had assumed that the two of you would marry one day.

Caspian left as quietly as he had entered; he had known you were upset and he knew where you would go to be alone. He just didn't realize that Peter was also aware of the spot. Was it now a secret lovers spot?

As Caspian made his way silently out of the library, he wandered the corridors aimlessly, his only destination somewhere quiet and empty. He feared that his heartbreak was going to become a bit of an embarrassing affair and he preferred to kick the wall and throw his childish tantrum with no witnesses.

Peter. Always Bloody High King Peter the Bloody Magnificent! He took over command, bowled over any decision that Caspian ever made, he insulted him and acted like Caspian was a complete incompetent. And if that wasn't enough, he now was romancing the girl he had loved for as long as he could remember, the woman he had always hoped to make his Queen. More than that, though, you were his best friend, he needed you in the way that he had always thought you needed him.

Apparently he had been mistaken. Now you had Peter to run to when you were upset.

You had calmed down, focusing on Peter's soothing voice as he told you about something called automobiles in his home world.

"Feeling better now?" he asked quietly.

"Yes," you whispered. "Thank you."

"How about you tell me what's been troubling you, then?" he coaxed.

"It's nothing, really. I'm being silly."

"I shall decide what's silly and what isn't," Peter announced arrogantly.

You smiled, though his arrogance was a trifle annoying. Caspian was never -- you sighed, unable to complete a thought without him interfering.

"Come, now," he said sternly. "I am a King of Narnia; you must tell me."

"I missed Caspian terribly when he was gone."

"He spoke of you a great deal while we were in hiding. I understood you to be quite good friends."

"Yes," you said, not realizing that you wrinkled your nose a bit when he said 'friends.' "It just does not feel like he missed me as much. He seems to want to spend all of his time with your sister."

Ah, Peter thought. She loves Caspian. "Lucy and he do seem to be together a lot."

"No, Peter, I meant Susan."

Peter hesitated a moment and said, "Shall I tell you a secret?"

"If you wish," you replied rather disinterestedly. You were too busy picturing your old age as a spinster, dying alone for the overwhelming love you felt for your King.

"Susan thinks Caspian is beautiful."

Your eyebrows drew together in anger. "Thank you so much for sharing that with me, Your Majesty."

"So beautiful, in fact, that he could wear one of her dresses and be prettier than her."

You gasped, scandalized and amused. "She did not say this!"

"Perhaps not in so many words, but dear one, Susan and Ed and Lucy and I...we're old. Caspian is a boy. Susan is not interested."

You smiled then, but ruefully. "It does not mean that Caspian wants me because Susan does not want him."

"Then more fool he, I say!" he said buoyantly.

"Thank you, Peter," you said quietly.

"Of course," he said gently. "I must go, but do not tarry here too long, it will be supper time soon."

"Yes, Peter," you said quietly, smiling bravely for his efforts to cheer you.

You watched Peter leave and sighed. You were selfish enough to be pleased that Susan wasn't interested in Caspian, but as you had said to Peter, Susan not wanting Caspian did not make Caspian want you. There was an old saying that your Mother told you when you coveted a sibling's toy or sweet: 'Envy is the thief of joy.' You knew that it was wrong to be jealous that Susan held Caspian's heart, but you simply could not help yourself.

You sat and stared out the window at the late afternoon sun painting the courtyard below with a golden shimmer, pondering how to go on without Caspian in your life.

Caspian had retreated to his bedchamber, wanting to be alone for a moment. Well, physically alone. Since he had been crowned King, he had felt nothing but alone and lonely.

Before he had run away, you and he had been together whenever possible. You had taken lessons together -- and skived off of lessons together, as well. He had shared with you his worries of ruling a Kingdom someday, and you had simply smiled and told him he would be a wonderful King. Now, you barely met his eyes, leaving the room as quickly as possible.

Perhaps you knew of his feelings for you and were trying to keep him from humiliating himself? You were always so kind and generous to him, giving him perhaps the only affection he received since his mother died when he was small. How had he so badly misinterpreted your actions to mean you loved him as he loved you?

Or had you been plying him with honeyed words to become his Queen but decided that Peter was a better catch?

Caspian's jealousy ate at him as he paced his bed chamber, thinking back to all of the times he thought he had seen love in your eyes. Was it only a reflection of his own love, and not a genuine emotion at all? Were you simply smarter than the other girls at Court who had sought to snare him with their beauty and wiles? Had you seen the desperate need for love that he carried within him and exploited it?

He had to know.

Caspian gathered his jealousy, anger, and outrage close to him, wrapping himself in coldness to stave off the hurt. He stormed out of his bedchamber, his expression clouded with the anger and anguish that had taken root in his heart.

A few people tried to stop him on his way back to the library; he did not even acknowledge them. He was so focused on getting the truth from you that nothing else mattered. Indeed, for just this one moment in time, the Kingdom could burn.

Caspian would find out how you really felt, and Aslan help anyone who tried to stop him.

You heard someone come into the library, low voices conversing, and then someone left again. You went back to staring out into the courtyard below, wishing that you had been brave enough to share your feelings with Caspian before he had run away to escape his Uncle. Would it have mattered to him, knowing that you loved him and were waiting for him to return safely? You sniffed, too depressed to even wipe away the tears from your cheeks.

You shook your head and muttered, "If wishes were fishes --"

"We'd all swim in riches," Caspian surprised you by finishing the rhyme.

"Cas -- Your Majesty!" you gasped, jumping to your feet and dropping into a deep curtsy. "You surprised me."

Caspian narrowed his eyes angrily. "You cannot even bring yourself to use my name any more?" he growled.

You looked up, tears streaming down your cheeks, confusion in your eyes. "I was not certain I still had that privilege."

"Rise," he said harshly. "I do not wish to have you cowering before me."

You got to your feet, hands folded primly before you and eyes on Caspian's toes, but you kept your silence.

"Why are you crying?" he asked, softening a bit.

You shrugged. "I do not wish to burden you with my worries," you whispered.

Caspian stiffened. "Did Peter not return your feelings?" he spat.

Your eyebrows shot up. "I beg your pardon?" you said, deceptively softly.

Caspian should have known better; he had known you for most of his life and he had seen both the storm and the calm before it. He was simply too angry to recognize your tone of voice. "I said," he snarled, "did High King Peter not return your love? Did your plan to catch a better husband than me, a mere King, fall apart? Do you regret tossing aside my feelings for you in favor of Peter?"

You finally understood the expression "to see red." Your fists clenched at your sides and you gnashed your teeth. "How dare you speak to me that way, Caspian!"

"I saw the two of you together earlier, sitting in that very spot!" he yelled. "He had his arm around you and you put your head on his shoulder, sweet as could be!"

You shook your head angrily. "He was comforting me because I am in love with a very stupid boy whom I thought was in love with High Queen Susan," you said in disgust.

"I have loved you since I was twelve, Caspian! I was crying because you spend all of your time with Susan and cannot even be bothered to speak to me, and you accuse me of being a faithless trollop for my pains? Well, fear no longer, for I do believe I am over my feelings for you!

"I cannot believe I have wasted so much of my life loving you. And you tell me now that there were feelings to toss aside, as you accuse me of currying favor with Peter because he has a higher rank? Well, congratulations on finally telling me you once cared for me while you essentially called me a whore," you sneered with anger and distaste. "But I suppose that is acceptable behavior for a King. I do hope it was worth it, Your Majesty." You gathered your skirts in hand and swept away from him and out of the library.

Caspian stood in stunned silence, unable to fathom the tremendous insult he had just given you out of jealousy and stupidity.

You loved him.

You loved him, and he had crushed that love under his boot heel for the sake of his cowardice and envy.

Caspian dropped to his knees, head in hands in grief and self-loathing.

He stayed like that for a few minutes, then got to his feet and steadied himself; he needed to figure out what to do.

You were in your bed chamber among the suite of rooms your family had in the castle. You were crying quietly lest you alert your parents of your fight with the King. Your Father had supported Caspian and even been thrown in a cell when Caspian had escaped; you did not wish to sow discord between them.

How could Caspian accuse you of such low behavior? And even if you were casting your nets for Peter, what business of Caspian's was it? He had never made any declarations, never even insinuated that he was interested in you romantically, or even politically. What about his behavior, either before or after he had run away, should have conveyed his intentions?

You were not wrong in this, and if it meant your exile from Court...well, perhaps you could do with a visit to your grandparents, at that.

You called your maid in and asked her to begin packing your things while you went to convince your parents that some time in the country would do you a world of good.

Caspian was more nervous than he had been even before his coronation. He was about to serve penance before attempting to apologize, but even though he had mentally prepared himself, his heart raced and he had broken into a cold sweat.

His hand shook when he raised it to knock.

The door opened quickly, thrown wide by Queen Lucy exuberantly, as she was with all things.

"Caspian!" she shrieked happily, leaping into his arms as if she hadn't seen him for months rather than the few hours since the morning meal.

Caspian hugged her back, always touched to be worthy of this kind soul's affection. "Hello, sweet one. And what have you been up to today?" he asked, trying to hide the true purpose of his visit from this angelic child.

It didn't work, of course. Lucy might be the youngest of the Pevensie family, but one must keep in mind that they had lived entire lives in the past; this adorable, chubby-cheeked little girl was over a millennium older than Caspian.

"What troubles you, Caspian?" she asked kindly, pulling him over to sit.

"I need to speak with Peter, actually," he said quietly. "Do you know where he is?"

"I believe he went to visit your future Queen," she said mischievously.

"Hush," Caspian said automatically. Lucy had divined his feelings for you while they were still hiding from Miraz and took every opportunity to discreetly tease him.

"Tell me what is wrong, Caspian. Are we not friends?"

He looked down at his boots. "I behaved very badly," he said, his voice a broken whisper. "I do not believe that I can undo this mess I have created. I think it rather more likely that her father or your brother will call me out."

Lucy sat up straight, concern drawing her features into an uncustomary frown. "What have you done that is so bad?"

Caspian took a deep breath and looked down into his hands that were clenched into fists in his lap. "I was almost mad with jealousy! I...I accused her of trying to ensnare Peter with her wiles so that she would have a High king rather than just a King. She took that to mean I was calling her a -- a person of low morals."

"Goodness," she breathed.

"Yes, and she was livid, as she absolutely should have been. I imagine she's told her father or Peter by now. I would not be surprised if one or both of them are sharpening swords as we speak," he said dully. "I am worthy of neither my crown nor her love. And I know that I should be more concerned over failing my country, but right now all I can feel is bereft at the loss of the girl I have always loved."

"This is bad, Caspian," Lucy whispered.

Edmund strolled into the room just then, so Caspian and Lucy stopped talking.

He looked at them and said, "Well, that wasn't suspicious at all! Were you talking about me?"

"No, Ed," Lucy said with a roll of her eyes. "I do have an errand I need to run, though. Be a good sport and keep Caspian company, would you?" she asked as she got to her feet.

"Lucy," Caspian began in a warning tone, getting to his feet as well. "Where are you going?"

"I say, Caspian, if she isn't safe here then she isn't safe anywhere," Edmund said jovially. "Fancy some exercise? You said you'd show me that move where you change hands with your sword while you spin away from your opponent."

"Excellent," said Lucy as if the matter was settled. "You two go and play." I have work to do.

Normally, Lucy would go to the library or the sitting room where the six of you could usually be found of an evening, but Caspian had confided that your row with him had taken place in the library, so she headed to your family's apartments, knocking politely.

The maid who opened the door immediately dropped into a deep curtsy, then led Lucy to the sitting room and scampered off to alert you of her presence and then to prepare a tea tray.

"Lucy," you said warmly. "I was not expecting you, what a lovely surprise."

Lucy pulled you into a hug. "Are you well?" she asked quietly.

"Of course!" you lied, knowing that your red eyes and runny nose told a different tale.

You both smiled politely while your maid brought in a tea tray. "Shall I pour, Miss, or would you rather I continue packing your things?"

Lucy raised her eyebrows at you wordlessly.

"I'll pour, thank you," you said quietly, avoiding Lucy's eyes by busying yourself with the tea and biscuits. "One lump, yes?"

"Yes, thank you," Lucy said politely, accepting the cup and taking a small sip. "And would you prefer to give Caspian one lump or two on his thick skull?"

You looked up quickly from your own tea, then nodded acceptance. "Of course he came to you," you said with a dry chuckle. "I am so very angry with him, Lucy."

"And it sounds like you have every right to be. What a complete idiot!"

Your eyes opened wide in surprise, for you would ever expect Lucy to try to broker peace and support Caspian. "Quite so," you agreed quietly, surprisedly.

"I cannot believe how cruel and selfish he was with you," Lucy went on. "I rushed straight over to see you. I know how much you loved him, it must have been such a disappointment to find out how wrong we all were about his character!" Lucy internally crossed her fingers, hoping that she was taking the correct tack with you and that attacking Caspian would lead you to defend him.

Your eyebrows furrowed at Lucy's words. "Perhaps that is not entirely accurate," you said hesitantly.

"How could we interpret his actions any other way? He besmirched both your honor and Peter's! Just because he says he was mad with jealousy," she said, emphasizing the 'mad with jealousy' bit in a disbelieving way yet loud enough that you could not possibly miss it.

"You do not think he was jealous?" you asked, insecurity showing in your expression so clearly that Lucy almost felt bad.

"Oh, yes, he was positively raving! Never seen a fellow so head over heels for a girl. But he's a King; just because he has always loved you and wants you to be his Queen, that doesn't mean that he can lose control of his emotions like that."

"But he is not just a King, Lucy! He is also a man. Of course he will make mistakes! We cannot burden him with expectations of perfection!" you defended him.

"Well, now that he has insulted you so greatly that you couldn't possibly forgive him, I'm afraid he'll be stuck with some political match and wind up in a cold, loveless marriage. He probably won't have anyone to allow him to be just Caspian; they will all expect the Perfect King Caspian at all times." She sighed sadly. "Unless he does something truly reckless and gets himself killed or abdicates."

"No, he will not," you said angrily as you surged to your feet. "Not if I have anything to say about it. Where is he?"

Lucy struggled to keep her smug satisfaction to herself. "I believe he is having Edmund pummel away some of his guilt in the training yard."

You turned away without another word, caring not at all whether Lucy accompanied you or not. Lucy did follow along, of course. She had orchestrated this peace, she was absolutely not going to miss it.

As you grew near the training yard, you heard the clanking of metal weapons clashing alongside the whomping sounds of wooden weapons being used for training.

When you arrived, it still took you by surprise that Caspian had recruited Narnians to work alongside Telmarines in the army as well as his personal guard. The training arena had been expanded to accommodate the increase in numbers of guards, not to mention the size of some of the newer members.

Of course Caspian would go out of his way to treat the Narnians with fairness and respect. He was simply a good man.

You found Caspian and Edmund on the far side of the arena, pounding away at each other with metal training swords and shields. You watched for a while, proud of how adept he was with a weapon. His movement was smooth and fluid and you found yourself watching him with the same dull expression as all of the other unwed girls lining the fence to watch the two handsome men train.

You were able to forget for a moment that you were angry with Caspian -- well, miffed, really. He had always been graceful and quick with his weapons, but he had been coltish still when he left. He had returned with broader shoulders and far more muscular. He had gained strength and reach and lost none of his quickness and agility. He was truly a formidable fighter and you were proud to think that perhaps if his apology was very very good, he just might still be your husband one day soon.

You giggled to think that you had even considered leaving his presence. It was ridiculous to think that now you knew he felt the same, why in the world would you go away? As close to Caspian as possible was where you wanted to be for the rest of your life, and after you had given him a suitable opportunity to grovel for forgiveness, you planned to inform him that there was a wedding to plan.

Caspian heard the melodious giggle that always made him smile and immediately looked around until he saw you, leaning against the fence and smiling dreamily. He certainly -- CLANG!!!

"Caspian!" you shrieked as you clambered over the fence and hurried over to his side. He was down on one knee, dented helmet off and laying in the dirt at his feet while he tried to shake the ringing out of his ears.

Edmund was livid. "I could have killed you, Caspian! How dare you take to the training field this distracted," he raged at Caspian before turning his wrath on you. "And you! Do you not know better than to distract a man while he trains? I've got a mind to turn you over my knee!"

Caspian surged to his feet, still a bit dizzy but not so woozy as to allow Edmund to berate you in front of half the inhabitants of the castle. "That is enough, Ed," he said quietly.

You reached Caspian and took his face in your hands. "Are you well, my love?" you whispered as you looked into his eyes, trying to see if his pupils were normal.

Caspian threw his gauntlets to the ground and covered your hands with his. "Did you just call me your love?" he whispered back.

"I did. You are," you said with a smile.

"Then I am more than well," he said with a grin that lasted only a moment. He took your hands in his and pulled them away from his face and dropped back to one knee. "I cannot begin to tell you how sorry I am, dearest. I was jealous and stupid and do not deserve you."

You tugged at his hands, trying to pull him to his feet. "I forgive you, of course! Now stand up, everyone is staring!"

"Not just yet, I have more business to conduct on one knee," he said with a happy smile.

You smiled back. "Oh, indeed? Checking soil quality? Collecting rents from worms?"

"Silly girl," he chided playfully. "No, I thought since I was already down here I would check to see if you had plans for the rest of your life?"

You pursed your lips and looked up as if giving his question deep consideration. "Hmmmm let me think," you hummed. "I suppose I could make time for the right activities."

Caspian grinned at your sass, then said earnestly, "You have been my best friend and favorite person for as long as I can recall. You have supported me, counselled me and comforted me over those years of friendship, and I am so grateful to you for that. As we grew up together, my feelings of platonic love for you grew and evolved into very, very romantic love. I would spend every day of my life with you, showing you how much I love and appreciate you. Will you do me the very great honor of being my wife and Narnia's Queen?"

You had felt yourself melt as Caspian spoke until you were amazed that you were able to remain upright. "I would be honored to be your wife, Caspian. It is all I have ever wanted. I love you so very much, my darling."

Caspian jumped to his feet and pulled you to him with a think against his armor, but you didn't mind at all. He whispered, "I love you," as he leaned down to gently kiss you.

You slid your hands up Caspian's chest to wrap them around his neck and kissed him again. When you broke apart and opened your eyes, Caspian's were still closed, but he had such a look of bliss on his face that you knew that this was right.

"Judging from the silly look on your face, perhaps we should have a healer evaluate your head before I hold you to your proposal?" you teased gently.

Caspian opened his eyes and smiled happily, overwhelmed with joy. "No, my love, I was just savoring the moment."

"Come. I still want you to see a doctor," you said, pulling him along. "Oh, and we must name our first daughter Lucy."

@marauder--harder / @giggleberts / @thesandbeneathmytoes / @banditthewriter / @heyitslexy / @marauderskeeper / @squidscottjeans / @russosprettydiamondnow / @iamnotbenbarneswifeyet / @cutie-bug / @joelynnp / @sssilverssserpent / @acciophoenx / @presstocontinue-blog1 / @suchatinyinfinity / @fortisfiliae / @chibiyanai / @i-padfootblack-things / @rousakousa / @ponycake27 / @hermionegranger / @drinix / @something-tofightfor / @life-is-a-melody / @libbymouse / @letsdanceinthedark/ @lilywoood / @ivegotillegalsinmybottom / @irinazatyk / @thinemineours / @ssserpensortiaaa / @starless-skyox / @lalafral / @hxbbit / @itsjustmylifeconfessions / @buddha-for-satan / @youveseen--thebutcher / @swiftyhowlz / @shinebrightlikeafanbase / @moonyscardigans / @iaintnofurry / @heytherecix / @ladyblablabla / @damalseer / @sstilinski @ymariejp / @projectcampbell / @agent-scully-182 / @saralou23 / @blackcoffeeandgreenteaforme / @ethereal-heavcns / @songtoyou/ @morriganwarrior / @training-wheeels / @breanime / @poedamneronhoe / @dylanobrusso / @0-cries-0 / @my-little-dumpster-fire / @shadowhunterscloset / @disengagefrmreality / @curlyhairedblueeyedangel / @editboutique / @traeumerinwitzhelden / @ripsithskywalkers / @littledarlinhavefaithinme / @thesumofmychoices / @propertyofpoeandbucky / @whovianayesha / @weallhaveadestiny / @saltyshaggymeme / @daffodilsbucky / @abroadcastofthemind / @with1love1anu / @onebatch--twobatch / @a-dorky-book-keeper /

#caspian x #prince caspian #king caspian #ben barnes #binbons 1k follower event

106 notes · View notes