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Supernatural (2005-2020) || I Think I'm Gonna Like It Here (9.01)

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why are ghosts in tv and movies so interested in opening cabinets and moving furniture around?? when i become a ghost im going to be playing all the video game systems i was too poor to afford and fingering myself

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dean winchester / tracy chapman “fast car”

#actually sobbing

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now that that post about dom!bottom!sam with a leash kink is getting some traction i thought i’d let you guys know that i wrote a 4k word fic about that exact thing (:

#ehehehhe #service top dean is actually everything to me #also he’s intersex in this one!! #i <3 that deanussy #wincest #samdean #spn #supernatural #ao3 #ao3 writer

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… Friendly reminder that immediately before this, Sam hallucinated that he was hanging in chains from the ceiling

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jensenackles: Working with old pals never gets old. Good times @justinhartley … thanks for the laughs, my brother. 😂 Let’s do it again.

Catch us on @trackercbs soon!!!

#biting them!!!!

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justinhartley: Thank you all for watching @trackercbs! We’ve got 4 more episodes coming your way before we start season 2. Wanted to share some fun news for all of you #tracker fans out there. Have fun.

#!!!!!!!!!

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#/my insides on the outside at my feet #/art that scratches my brain just right

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Supernatural → S1EP11: Scarecrow

#HES SO FUCKING WEIRD !!!!!!!!!!! #THE LIP BITE GH CDGUFJTYNBF #kissing him on the face

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computer open. Computer show me fictional guy

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the difference between sam and dean is that in the phrase “incestuous romantic relationship” sam cringes at incestuous and dean cringes at romantic.

i think he’d be maybe a little weirded out but not that embarrassed if he just. wanted to fuck his brother. like… have you seen his brother? who doesn’t wanna fuck him.

no.. dean’s embarrassed because the thought of his brother not wanting to fuck him makes his heart actually hurt, which he thought was just an overdramatic romcom line. because if he fucked his brother and his brother wanted to keep it casual, it would destroy him.

he doesn’t just want to fuck his brother. he wants to sleep next to him and kiss him and play with his stupid hair and grow old with him and die in his arms.

dean doesn’t wanna fuck his brother. he wants to make love to his brother. and that makes his skin crawl.

#YES THIS #/sins of the flesh

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Cas & Sam Milkshake Triptych

#everytime i see cas with a strawberry milkshake i get war flashbacks #wind in my hair i was there i remember it #/chasing the moon #/the agonizing desire to be known and to be loved

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Realistically I could never get rid of tumblr because it gives me the illusion of a community of strange young women all around my same age, all slowly figuring out how to live too

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east of eden, john steinbeck

#GNASHING MY TEETH

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thinking about dean growing up and putting everything before himself. hunting and his brother and his dad and his dad’s revenge quest for their mom. he doesn’t matter. he is entirely irrelevant. thinking about dean internalising this as just what you do, just how people behave and how they should behave. him viewing selfish as the worst thing you can possibly be.

then thinking about sam growing up and fighting. brave enough to challenge their father and rebel against him and voice something different, brave enough to focus on what he wants. dean seeing this and it stings - he could never do that. how is sam acting like that? he can’t believe that’s the right way to behave. so sam must be selfish, just in believing he has any right to his own life.

dean sublimates himself for the family and expects sam to do the fame, and his resentment and jealousy that sam doesn’t turns into anger and making sam out to be the mean one, the one in the wrong. and this never goes away. this is always what dean levels at sam - that he’s selfish, that in wanting to make his own choices he’s rejecting their family, rejecting dean……. awful. toxic. evil evil message to send to sam. entirely in character. dean wants to prioritise sam, would save him over the world. but he doesn’t care what sam wants.

selflessness isn’t always a charming character trait. it’s not the same thing as a generosity of spirit and it’s definitely not the same thing as being caring. sometimes selflessness just means you’re incapable of prioritising your life and incapable of understanding how anyone else could or should prioritise theirs. sometimes it means you still act selfishly, you just convince yourself you were objectively in the right, because doing something actually for yourself is unthinkable. sometimes it means you think the very act of having wants and boundaries is selfish, no matter whether they’re yours or anyone else’s.

anyway… thoughts on dean’s specific brand of awfulness regarding sam. what does it matter to him what sam actually wants? since when did it ever matter in the winchester household what anyone wanted? dean had to deal with things he didn’t want for the mission (for john). sam has to deal with things he doesn’t want for the mission (for dean). augh. the cycles