sonder — gojo satoru.
"you answered."
"you called."
your body curls into itself, hugging your thighs to your stomach as a soft static echoes on the other line. you can hear satoru breathing, it's labored, he sounds tired. satoru never gets so exhausted.
"name—"
"why did you call me?" you whisper into the phone, shifting under your blankets. off to your left on the bedside table is a half empty bottle of wine and leftover kikufuku from yesterday that you tried to eat, but couldn't, mind numb with worries for him. "i can't save you."
there's an uneasy pit in the bottom of your stomach, and if you close your eyes, maybe, just maybe, you can imagine satoru's spooning you from behind, lanky legs thrown over yours and hugging you close.
"will you stay on the phone with me at least?" he asks, and you can imagine the lopsided smile tugging on his lip, the way his blue eyes mimic crystalline ocean waves on a hot summer day. he's content, or at least halfway. a part of him hopes you'll hang up on him, spare yourself the trouble.
but you both know you won't. you've always stuck by him, haven't you?
"okay." you mumble, and despite sinking into the softness of your mattress, your heart rate picks up, and you can't help but fidget. "satoru—" does it hurt? are you lonely? please don't die alone.
he lays still, and a part of him thinks this is a little funny. here, his feelings laid bare for all to see, not just you. he's the strongest, isn't he? what's there for the strongest to ever regret?
"don't ask me." he breathes, and it's almost a plead. don't think of me in that way. don't worry about me. i'm still your satoru. "please, don't."
you sit up in bed, and bring a shaky hand to your forehead, then your cheek, inhaling sharply. your heart slows just a little. a soft realization passes over you, and you think, is this how it ends? so anti-climactic? a quiet goodbye over hushed static?
"what are you thinking?"
satoru asks, and you know he already knows what's crossed your mind. and in fear of leaving you faster than he desires, he holds back his laugh, his body can't take the weight of his heart in his throat like it used to.
"just thinking how nice it'll be..." you sigh, almost longingly, grasping at a dream. he commits the sound to memory. a palm presses against your chest, the constant thrumming of your heart steadying you, a heart that isn't even yours — hasn't been yours for a long while. "when you come home to me again."
this time he grins.
"yeah?" he whispers, and his eyes flutter closed. this, this is what he wanted. the dramatics of it all can wait. in a world full of chaos, in a veil filled with nothing but his own bustling thoughts — you made everything quiet for him. "you'll be waiting by the door f'me?"
"with kikufuku in my arms." you smile, squeezing your own eyes shut, and you think some things, the nothings, are so beautiful too. a world full of nothings with satoru, doing a whole bunch of nothings that will eventually lead up to nothing. everyday, like that with him, you wouldn't be opposed at all. "we'll watch that movie you wanted to."
"tsk– the one with the tragic hero?" the irony isn't lost on him. and if anything, he's sure if there's a god, he'd hate the two of you, because all you both ever seem to do is meet fate halfway with defiance, laughing at destiny. "you mockin' me right now?"
this time you laugh. and something wounded tight in his chest flutters away, he's weightless.
"i love you."
"you're insulting me, baby." he sighs, and you can hear the strength of his voice going down a few knotches, like a warrior sheathing his blade and setting his armor down for polishing.
you fought well, 'toru.
"we don't say it like that, never." and he's still so childish — demanding all from you, all that you can't give. already given. what he already has.
we don't say i love you like it's a goodbye.
"love you 'toru," it comes out softer, less strained, and is followed by a soft hum of approval from him. "love you more, cutie."
there's a soft beat of silence. he should hang up now, before he starts gagging on his own blood. but he'll bear it a little while longer.
"baby?"
"i'm still here, satoru."
"wanna do me a favor?" he asks, and you know that tone, it's mischievous, teasing. this man, is it possible to love him more than you already do? "tell me about it some more, please."
"more about what?"
his breaths go ragged for a quick moment, and he's imagining you here, laying beside him just as you are too. "what we'll do when i come home."
you think, if satoru goes with your heart still in his hands, you wouldn't mind.
"yeah? i can do that — where were we?"
"the movie. after the movie..."
i'd hold you so close, so close and keep you there. then do nothing. everyday, a whole bunch of nothings.
"would you stay and do nothing with me, satoru?"
"it's never nothing when it's with you."
notes ; this is my way of coping with 236. i've been crying for hours. give him back gege :((
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Hi can you make an elle woods study guide for me?
study like elle woods
“what, like it’s hard?”
cute stationary
invest in pretty notebooks, pens, highlighters, etc.! you’ll feel much more motivated to study and be productive when you’re surrounded by color and pretty things.
get some movement in while you work
elle reads and studies on the treadmill. if this is not accessible to you, you can go for a walk and listen to a podcast/video/audiobook on the topic you are studying or even fit workout sessions into your study breaks.
dress well, test well
elle always presented herself well in class. do your makeup and hair and wear an outfit that makes you feel confident and put together. if you look good and feel good, you will immediately boost your confidence, which will bring you into a better mindset for your study session, lecture, or exam.
rest when you need it
while it’s important to push yourself at times, there are also times where your brain needs to rest and absorb the information you’ve just studied. take time to do yoga, bake, sit outside, or whatever you feel like you need to rejuvenate and keep going.
stay true to yourself
elle is the perfect example of staying true to yourself even when you’re looked down on or belittled for it. you can be yourself and do whatever you want to do. you don’t have to stop expressing yourself in order to be intelligent, professional, and respected. if anyone ever tells you different or expects you to change yourself to “fit” your career, all you have to do is prove them wrong.
stop looking at other girls as competition
your only competition is yourself! there will always be people you believe to be smarter than you, have more opportunities than you, or be more gifted than you. if you are constantly thinking badly of yourself or comparing yourself to others, you will lose sight of your own gifts and your goals. stop worrying about everyone else and focus on you.
remind yourself of your ‘why?’
it’s easy to lose sight of your goals and your reason to keep going when you’re tired or doubting yourself, so always remind yourself why you’re doing this. who are you doing this for? why study this subject specifically? who do you want to be? what do you want your life to look like in 20 years?”
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