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let’s talk Effexor XR (Venlafaxine) withdrawals

To start: From experience, I can 100% compare them to withdrawing from Vicodin (hydrocodone/tylenol)

They can start as little as 10 minutes after the next schedule dose. In fact, sometimes I feel them before my schedule dose that’s how strong this medication in.

Initially, they’re weak. Bearable. By that, I mean for the first hour or two you can survive long enough to get home and take your meds (if you’re just missed a dose, and you’re not out or quitting)

After that first hour or two, that’s when you’ll know you’re in deep shit. First, there’s the brain zaps. I have so much trouble putting them in to words. It is such a bizarre feeling. Imagine people tased just in your brain. At first they’re occasional, enough to make you uncomfortable. Then, they become much more frequent. So frequent that you don’t even remember what it’s like to not have them. With each zap comes a cacophony of other feelings: vertigo, goosebumps, waves of nausea, aura, sound disturbances to name a few. That’s usually all I feel on Day 1. I can survive Day 1.

Then, things get worse. The brain zaps become so frequent you lose the ability to focus on anything. You can’t drive. You can barely walk. Your head feels like a human vibrator constantly. It’s around this point when your mood starts to tank, but not as hardcore as it will.

At the end of the second day is when I start getting sick. It’s like food poisoning meets the flu. You’re sweating, vomiting, weak, sleeping all day. You can’t focus. You’re irritated. If you do feel hunger, which I generally don’t, anything you eat won’t stay done. Nothing tastes good. Nothing tastes period. And you’ve still got the zaps.

Day 3 is even worse. In addition to the flu like symptoms you’ve developed, now you’re tanking. Full blown depressive episode. You have no motivation, you’re crying non stop. You can’t move. You don’t WANT to move. You lost any interest in anything but sleeping. And man, do you sleep a lot. You’ve become used to the zaps by now, but they’re still pesky. And occasionally they’re strong enough to induce more vomiting, which you’re now probably having to do in a trash can by your bed because you can’t move any further.

Day 4-5, which i’m currently on, is where I started wondering if I should go somewhere to be monitored. I slept 37 hours in the past 48. I have yelled at everybody for any little thing. I didn’t eat. I haven’t showered. Most stuff comes in waves. For example, right now i feel decent enough to make this post, but not good. I’ve started to develop suicidial idealization. Not thoughts, not ideas, just the thought at the back of my mind that I don’t want to keep this up. I am crying non stop most of the day. I feel nothing but emptiness. The brainzaps are near constant. I can’t eat. I can’t drink. I can’t talk much. I have no desire to shower, or do my homework. I’m only surviving off of chamomile tea and valium.

There’s a reason they recommend a loooooong taper off of Effexor because this has been and will continue to be hell. Believe me when I tell you, it isn’t voluntary. No doctor should ever refuse a refill on a medication like this, and that’s what my doctor has done. They can’t give me a valid reason why, and they’re unsympathetic to how i’m feeling. They’re watching me deteriorate, and I bet they’re laughing at me.

Point being, don’t do cold turkey if you have a choice. Every minute, i’m 30 seconds away from throwing myself through the glass windows in our living room. I can’t drive anywhere because of vertigo/brain zaps, and i’m losing weight like nobody’s business because I can’t eat, and i’m throwing up everything I do.

If you have a friend in withdrawal from an antidepressant, but specifically Effexor, Cymbalta or other SNRI’s, keep them close and watch them. It’s entirely unpredictable, and they’ll need support. I’m so glad (glad, as a description, I don’t actually feel anything) my friends have been keeping watch on me while my father waits around thinking i’m sleeping out of laziness, asking me why i’m not doing anything and denying me when I give him the real reason. If I didn’t have them, specifically Mamie, i’d already have done something to myself. That’s how awful getting off of these meds is. It’s dangerous.

#effexor #venlefaxine #venlafaxine #effexor xr #antidepressants #snri #withdrawal #antidepressant discontinuation #effexor withdrawal #brain zaps

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I need to be very open and honest right now.

I have a problem. I have a big problem.

Last Spring, I had a surgery in my digestive tract to remove a cyst that was preventing me from using the bathroom properly. I was given a prescription for generic Oxycodone/Acetaminophen 5/325 tablets (brand name: Percocet) to help manage the post operative pain. Due to the specific nature of the surgery, and the anesthesia they used, I wasn’t able to take over the counter pain medicines such as Ibuprofen and Naproxen for at least 72 hours after the operation. At that time, I only used 5 out of my 45 prescribed pills. In fact, I did not like the way Oxycodone made me feel at all, so I used it as little as I could.

Flash forward to this summer, and I’m in a much darker place mentally. During the month of May, I took a Percocet three times, on all mornings that I was feeling particularly bad. The euphoria induced by just that small dose (since I had no tolerance, at all) was enough to get me through the day. I was able to stop after those 3 days, and paid no mind to the pills for a while after that. 

At the end of June, going into July, I started a particularly nasty round of Cluster Headaches. Cluster Headaches are unilateral, excruciating headaches that happen at the same time of day, every day, multiple times a day, anywhere from a few weeks to a few months long, followed by a longer period of remission. The pain from Cluster Headaches is unbearable and debilitating, and also unresponsive to any safe doses of OTC pain medication. I was given a Migraine Medication called Sumatriptan, which worked very well, and very fast, but my insurance only covered 9 pills a month. At that time, I would getting about 9 headaches over only a 3 day period. 9 pills a month was not covering it. 

So, I started to take the Percocet again. It was effective (though not recommended by ANY doctor, due to the risk of more headaches) at relieving the pain and calming me down enough to sleep through the night. It also got rid of the anxiety that the clusters caused me. I grew a tolerance to both pain relieving and euphoric affects of the drug quickly, so I started to take more and more every time. I started taking the pills when I didn’t have a headache, just because I like the way it made me feel. It became part of my routine some nights, just to take a few Percocet and watch youtube until 4am.

I was able to realize I had a problem, and got rid of the pills. I gave them to a trusted family member and told them only to give me them if it was visibly obvious that I was having a cluster headache (there are several visual symptoms of the headaches including droopy eyes, runny noses, and flushed face)  This worked, but it didn’t save me from withdrawing from the medication. I was physically sick when I didn’t take it, and after that preliminary period, I was constantly craving it. All I thought about was taking more.

Eventually, another family member found the pills and disposed of them. Though I had cut down my use tremendously, I still occasionally took one, just to subside the cravings for a few days. That threw me off, not having them at all. I was desperate for more euphoria, more pills.

So, I found my prescription of generic Hydrocodone/Acetaminophen 10/325 (brand name: Vicodin) tablets in the depths of a medicine cabinet, barely opened and barely expired. I had been prescribed them initially for the pain of the cyst, but my father wouldn’t let me take them. They went unused, and I had completely forgot about them until I was desperate for them. Just like I grew dependent on the Percocet, I quickly grew dependent on the Vicodin. It took more of it to get the same affects as the Percocet (a scientific study found that Oxycodone is roughly 50% more potent than Hydrocodone). I was back on the slippery slope.

I got off the Vicodin, and I was going on about 3 weeks without a pill when I had a particularly rough day and found where I had hid them while searching for a pair of boxers. I relapsed. That was yesterday. I took 2 more today.

I want so bad to stop this habit, to stop feeding this addiction but I’ve learned now that I can’t do it alone. Everybody will say they support you because they don’t want you to feel bad, but deep inside you know they’re judging you, and it just makes things worse. I feel like garbage for letting things get like this, and I want to make things right. I don’t want to be dependent on this drug, especially since it has no therapeutic value for me right now.  

I am asking for help, for support, for advice, for affordable counseling recommendations, and for good vibes. I want to get better, but I know I can’t do it alone. I’m reaching out to Tumblr because here, it seems like people don’t judge. I genuinely feel like I can find good advice here without endless judgement. 

#opioidaddiction #addiction #vicodin #percocet #dependence #counseling #honest #opiates #oxycodone #hydrocodone #confession #help

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twin peak dudes

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Sun 660 / Impossible Project PX680

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Sun 660 / Impossible Project PX680

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https://instagram.com/p/BfDnki8nT-s/

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im in love with the concept of Las Vegas like i know in reality theres a lot of things shitty and bad about it but im in love with the idea of a capital of debauchery existing in a blisteringly hot desert 2 hours away from a nuclear weapon test site. it’s so bizarre and horrific and tacky i can’t help but loving the idea of it

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