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26/05/2013 1:44:40 HBBlog!
Set minutes after Emma leaves Killian after returning his heart. I took inspiration from Christina Perri’s song for the title, as it seemed to fit the story as well.
Killan’s energy was seeping from his body as he leaned heavily against the inside of his door. The adrenalin that had been coursing through his veins the past few hours was now gone and the weight of all that has occurred was taking its place. The heart Emma had forcefully returned to his chest just minutes ago was aching now that she was gone. Lifting his hand to his chest, he pressed his fingers over his heart and tried to force away the images that were burning behind his eyes. All he could see were the terrified faces of the fairies as they were pulled into the swirling vortex of the sorcerer’s hat at his hand. Blue’s pleading eyes were the worst, as she truly looked at him like the monster he knew he was.
Sinking to the floor, Killian’s found himself in the same position as he was just a day ago, when he was hiding behind the counter at Granny’s. While he knew that he had no choice but to do Gold’s bidding, that gave him no solace. If he had never blackmailed the imp in the first place, he wouldn’t have found himself in the position of being Gold’s puppet to begin with. Despite all of his attempts to fit in with Emma and her band of heroes, it felt in this moment that he was always destined to fall into the category of villain. His love for Emma, as all-encompassing as it is, wasn’t enough to stop him from falling back to the selfish pirate that had taken a hold of his soul. And now that Emma was finally opening her heart to him, he was at a loss as to what to do and how to not end up hurting her. Reaching up to claw at his chest, Killian wished he could rip his damn heart back out. He missed not feeling all of this fully. It all felt like too damn much.
After everything we've been through - darkness, Hades, being separated by realms - I just wanted to say something, you know, when we're not in the middle of a big battle or one of us is facing death, when things are just...normal.
And what's that, Swan?