confessionsofabiguy

[confessionsofabiguy]

Hmm 🤔

#bisexuality #bisexual #bi #bi guy problems #biphobia #bi pride #bi visibility #bisexual and proud #team bi #bigotry

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STAR TREK: THE ORIGINAL SERIES Season 1, Episode 7: What Are Little Girls Made Of? 

#bi aesthetic

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Tongues Untied (Marlon Riggs, 1989)

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#bi aesthetic

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#bi aesthetic

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Long live this bisexual icon 🙌🏽

RIP bktidalwave 🙏🏽😔

#bktidalwave #bisexual #bisexuality #a true bicon #rip bktidalwave #rip #bi visibility

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I dont really care if you use the term bisexual or pansexual, but what i DO care about is that you understand that bisexuality at NO stage in history was EVER trans-exclusionary. Bisexuality has always included trans folks, and non-binary folks, and the entire spectrum of gender between male and female, as well as Definitively Gender and agender. It has ALWAYS meant "attraction to more than one gender." It has NEVER meant "attraction to cis men and women only."

So, pan, bi, use whichever label you will. But do NOT buy into the recent-years innacurate concept that bisexuality is attraction to cis men and women only, because thats literally never been the case.

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https://drive.google.com/folderview?id=13NkoZcvXIIgd5XpJ0wXbU1kr1v1g0U7t

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Friendly reminder that biphobia against bi men is very strong. For some reason people act as if they're not actually bi, or that they're tainted.

Bi men deserve just as much love as the rest of us. And it disgusts me how openly people are against bi men, but will turn around and say they support bi women.

If you don't support bi men, then I don't want you're support either.

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everybody say thank you to bi men of colour for existing and gracing us with their presence

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I feel like if people realized sexuality was about WHO you are attracted to and not HOW you express your attraction they wouldn’t be ripping apart the bisexual community with new words because some people prefer women 51% of the time and men only 49% or whatever. I’m begging you to pick up a book on bisexual history and to understand the historical fluidity of the term. Don’t care about gender? You’re bi. Care about gender? You’re bi. Prefer one gender over the other? You’re bi. These are personal preferences and don’t deserve their own label when they completely go against 50+ years of history.

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anyway i fucking love being bisexual like good 4 me tbh

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“Bisexuality works to subvert the gender system and everything it upholds because it is not based on gender. In addition, bisexual identity and struggle lend themselves in a special way to exploring the possibility that women and men are “more alike than different,” and that variations in human character bear no intrinsic connection to biological sex.”

— “Bisexuality Subverts Gender” by Karin Baker and Helen Harrison, Gay Community News, May 27, 1990 (via verilybitchie)

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the fact that there’s so many results for “signs your partner is bisexual” really is something huh

the “signs” that tend to make both lists are gender nonconformity (is your girl a lil masc? is he too fem? how androgynous is too androgynous?), desire for threesomes, having too many close friends of the same gender, are they sexually adventurous?

ofc these focus on stereotypes of bisexuals dealing with their sexual promiscuity as well as the idea that every bi persons fantasy is a threesome. i would argue the most dangerous of these shared symptoms is the idea that bi people have too many friends of the same gender. this rationale is often used to justify controlling and abusive behavior towards the bisexual partner by alienating them from their friends or accusing them of using their friendships to stimulate their need for relationships with ppl of other genders, leading to potentially explosive jealously.

the “signs your husband/boyfriend is bisexual” articles often feature very defeatist language. it acts as tho the result of a bisexual bf or husband is a huge obstacle to the relationship and may be cause to end the relationship entirely. it’s argued that bisexual men are disinterested in sex with their women partners. this plays into the idea that bisexual men can never be satisfied with women because all bisexual men are considered aligned with “gayness” and are more easily fulfilled by relationships with men than women. these stereotypes are used to justify the idea that bisexual men don’t really exist, that they’re more often self-hating gay men who are lying to their women partners. it’s often advised in these articles that the couples seek marriage counseling to deal with the “humiliation” of finding out their husband is bisexual and decide if the relationship can continue.

the “signs your wife/girlfriend is bisexual” articles often feature more excitable language but it all comes with a word of caution. the idea of a bisexual girlfriend/wife is great because it allows for more sexual exploration and a stronger sexual appetite, but these articles feature warnings that bisexual women are hard to control and need to be tamed in order to remain in a healthy relationship. bisexual women’s entire existence is suggested to revolve around sex and specifically the sexual satisfaction of their partner. bisexual women don’t crave other women the way it’s suggested bisexual men crave men. instead, bisexual women crave sex. this sex drive, however, means bisexual women need to be kept on a tight leash. their activities need to be monitored in order to keep them in line. it’s rare articles suggest leaving your wife/gf is she is secretly bisexual, but rather to “fulfill” more potential sexual fantasies while ensuring she is properly under your thumb, so to speak.

when addressing the incredibly high rates of abuse (physical, emotional, and sexual) experienced by bisexual people, it’s important to see the way it’s normalized thru conversations and articles like this. I feel like too often abuse rates towards bisexual people are often written off as symptoms of misogyny, which doesn’t actually address the root cause. yes, bisexual women experience higher rates of abuse in total, but bisexual men’s rates are abnormally high as well and often go ignored or unrepresented when discussions of abuse towards lgbt are had. by erasing the biphobia inherent in the abuse and only discussing the misogyny, you both erase the suffering and oppression of bisexual men while ignoring the reality of biphobia as a whole and denying bisexual women their own lived experienecs with biphobic abuse.

biphobic abuse is not a result of the hatred of women’s freedom towards sex or the abstract concept “female sexuality” as a whole but rather with a real and pervasive hatred towards bisexuality. until people are willing to recognize that biphobia is a real, systematic issue that exists outside of online discourse, the impact of said biphobia will continue to go unaddressed. and the reality of this biphobia is harshest on the most vulnerable of the bisexual community, bisexual people of color, bisexual trans people, disabled bisexual people, etc.

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when you look at the alarming statistics regarding abuse and violence that bisexuals face, it feels odd to know that a lot of ppl disregard bisexuals begging for recognition of our struggles as seeking attention, or taking attention away from REAL problems. and yet, we have very clear cut proof in numbers that bisexuals are facing a risk of violence that we are specific targets for. and ppl don’t want to admit that it’s because we’re bisexual. 

for the longest time, i didn’t realize how many bisexual ppl, particularly bisexual women, had been abused. I did not realize that so many other bisexual women suffered biphobic remarks and violence until i was in a space with other bisexuals …and while you’re talking, you realize it’s the first time you’re talking about it like the targeted violence it is. You’re not watering your experience down for the first time. You’re not leaving details out and people are nodding and jumping to agree with you. It’s the first time you’ve been met with this kind of reaction of shared pain and experience.

a dear friend of mine noted how it seems hard for people to put faces to those statistics. and i think what some people dont realize is that it’s hard to put a face to that because bisexuals DON’T talk about this stuff except with other bi people. Historically, we’ve been discouraged from taking up space in LGBT issues, because we’re benefiting from “heterosexual privilege.”. We are usually an afterthought, people just wanting to be oppressed even though we’re just gonna run off with a cishet partner. and we are isolated until we have a moment to speak with each other. 

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sexual orientation is who you’re attracted to not how