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“I feel myself to be an alien in the world. If you have no ties to either mankind or to God, then you are an alien.”

— Ludwig Wittgenstein, Nachlass, MS 135 (28 July 1947)

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“My thoughts are tired. I am not seeing things freshly, but rather in a pedestrian, lifeless way. It is as if a flame had gone out and I must wait until it starts to burn again by itself.”

— Ludwig Wittgenstein, Nachlass, MS 102 (13 January 1915)

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“It is only as something strange, forbidden, as something free, that the other is revealed as an other. And to love him genuinely is to love him in his otherness and in that freedom by which he escapes. Love is then renunciation of all possession, of all confusion. One renounces being in order that there may be that being which one is not.”

— Simone de Beauvoir, The Ethics of Ambiguity

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He’s literally me

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Opera Garnier, 2024

#paris #paris france #opera #*me #*mine #photooftheday #photography #dark academia #dark academia aesthetic

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“a star a tree and the longing in between”

— Gabriel Rosenstock, from The Longing in Between: Sacred Poetry from Around the World, ed. Ivan M. Granger (Poetry Chaikhana, 2014)

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May Sarton, from Journal of a Solitude [ID in alt text]

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Good Stock Strange Blood, Dawn Lundy Martin

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We lose ourselves in things we love. We find ourselves there, too.

– Kristin Martz

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within the calcium & beneath the sinew; I see myself reflected.

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“Life is to be lived, not controlled; and humanity is won by continuing to play in face of certain defeat.”

— Ralph Ellison, Invisible Man

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I don’t know how I will get through this world with so much fear in my heart but I have walked this path so far. This is a path I’ve once dreamed about and longed for with all of my being. When we long for something we usually don’t think about all the terrors and pain that come with getting what we want. I wasn’t prepared for all this. Yet this is the life I wanted and the life I chose. Being an academic has sucked the life out of me in so many ways yet this is what I envisioned myself to be. It is my decision and I’m having to live with that. I don’t even know what I want anymore or who I am anymore. I just want peace. I want courage. I want to love and face the world again. I want to love what I do than fear the results from not doing enough, not being enough.

Enough.

Time to go to bed.

#phd struggles #studyblr #oxford #has been a nightmare #yet I’m still here #I cry almost every day #god I’m so lonely while I’m on campus #it’s terrible

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Jeanette Winterson, from "Dark Christmas", Christmas Days: 12 Stories and 12 Feasts for 12 Days

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Museum of the Moon 🌙

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“I need a break from academic philosophy!!!”

Picks up martha nussbaum’s The Fragility of Goodness.

#martha Nussbaum does it right #my favorite ancient philosopher