d3adly3scape

[d3adly3scape]

My last breath will be a sigh of relief.

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wheres the restart button

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the need to be someone and to feel something

#tw self destructive thoughts #please let me die #very unstable #dead inside #mentally drained #mental problems #deep thoughts #mentally exhausted #sorry for being depressing #depressing shit

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wait i can abuse substances instead of feeling things

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20-50 cals list :

8 strawberries (medium) ; 45 cals

8 strawberries (large) ; 50 cals

12 cherries ; 50 cals

10 baby carrots (large) ; 52 cals

10 baby carrots (medium) ; 35 cals

broccoli (1 cup) ; 31 cals

apple (1/2) ; 36 cals

40 blueberries ; 31 cals

plain yogurt (70g) ; 41 cals

plain yogurt (90g) ; 53 cals

50 raspberry ; 50 cals (1 raspberry = calorie)

2 boiled egg whites ; 34 cals

1 cucumber ; 45 cals (1/2 sliced cup)

1 peach ; 50 cals

1 kiwi ; 42 cals

7 lychees ; 44 cals

1/2 pear ; 48 cals

10 olives ; 40 cals

25 grapes ; 50 cals

1/2 orange ; 31 cals

1 cup air popped popcorn ; 31 cals

1 cup watermelon ; 47 cals

1 cup pickles ; 17 cals will update !

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i just ate a fried chicken wing im gonna backflip off a cliff im so stupid

#very unstable #tw self destructive thoughts #please let me die #💡as a 🪶 #4nor3xia

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do i REALLY need to cut or do i just need to hit a blinker

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I feel like an old beaten up dog that is just wandering around looking for someone, anyone, to love me.

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i want him to want to watch the light leave my eyes

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anti-binge guide:

~ read this list 20 times ~

count to 100 very slowly

talk on the phone with someone

clean up something gross (bye I never did this one to be honest, lmao. no thank yo)

go out on a walk

pour salt over craving food (also a popular one I never did. a bitch just didn’t like to waste salt or food like that. i say that while heavily relying on number 10 🤡)

make a list of triggers + avoid them // find low cal fibrous, filling alternatives

go outside and do 20 pushups + 100 jumping jacks (the jiggling was enough of an anti-binge lmao); bonus, do in front of a mirror (this is just cruel but also effective so idk yall, take your gander)

take a shot of ACV (LIGHT IT UPPPP lmao, pretend you’re clubbing but the vodka is vinegar and rather than feeling buzzed and happy, you’re miserable and desperate. but babes, we gotta romanticize this, so party it up anyways lmao)

sleep

c/s (wastes food, but worked wonders for me. just make sure you have at least a bite at the end, and rinse the mouth, but don’t brush to preserve that enamel)

listen to a podcast / read a book

watch something gory

write in your diary

th1nsp0

make a food planner for next week

calculate the deficit yoo’ll maintain for the week and the lbs progress if you don’t binge (it feels like a reward then, to refrain)

online window shop for clothes you want to fit in

dance / go on a run

take a shower/bath

do some self care. attend to those emotional needs rather than using food as an emotional crutch. sis is not your therapist.

chew on ice (i was never this desperate lmao)

plan a controlled metabolism day and work the foods you want to binge on now in that day to practice moderation and portion control while also reinforcing discipline

STOP if you have already started. you don’t have to continue. you’re okay. you still have control. stop now and prove it to yourself.

learn some biology (human anatomy, physiology, etc)

✨some affirmations✨:

~ repeat these to yourself for as long as it takes for the urge to binge to go away ~

food does not hold power over me

i don’t actually want this

*this food* actually really grosses me out

i don’t even like to eat

i’m going to put this away because i don’t need it and i listen to my needs

i am such an intuitive eater. i know when to stop eating naturally

its so easy for me to not eat

not eating is so easy

i take care of my emotional needs rather than numbing them away with food

food won’t make me feel better. self care will

i take care of myself.

i am committed to taking care of myself

i don’t even want to eat anymore.

i have no appetite. i never do

this food taste so gross and it lingers in the mouth. why would i want to eat something like that

i naturally crave fruits and vegetables.

i naturally eat healthy

i feel so much lighter and happier when i don’t eat

i feel better now that i said no to *this food*

i don’t really need food

i am actually really thirsty. i need water, not food

i am okay

i have control over myself and my body because i listen to it and take of it

i have discipline because i am naturally built for this

i am okay

i will be okay

this urge is not the end of the world. i don’t have to give in

just because i have a desire, that doesn’t compel me to fulfil it. i have more self control than that

i am okay.

i will be okay.

i am strong

i am okay

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me crying after binging (i ate a full meal ヽ(￣д￣;)ノ)

#4norexi4 #i want to ⭐️ve #⭐️ving #⭐️ve #ana trigger #4narex1a #4n0rexic #4n4rexia #4nor3xia #sorry for being depressing #very unstable #💡as a 🪶

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Bro the scars aren’t enough I need to saw my leg off

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being a teenager thinking i have enough mental illnesses to go to a psych ward for months and getting told it's just hormones

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me when i remember that one silly time i went non verbal XD (lowkey peaceful ─‿‿─)

#tw self destructive thoughts #very unstable #dead inside #4norexi4 #deep thoughts #i want to ⭐️ve #mental problems #mentally drained #mentally exhausted #please let me die #mentally fucked #mental health #mentally tired #non verbal

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my body dysmorphia going crazy cus how are people calling me skinny when i feel like a whale 💀💀

#tw self destructive thoughts #very unstable #deep thoughts #dead inside #mentally exhausted #mental problems #please let me die #mentally drained #4n4rexia #4norexi4 #4n0r3xia #4norexla #4nor3xia #4n0rexic #4narex1a #💡as a 🪶 #🕯️as a feather #🕯️as a 🪶 #starv3 #starv1ng #i want to ⭐️ve #i need to ⭐️ve #⭐️rve #ed no sheeran #ed not ed sheeran #ed not sheeren

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I really need a fucking break, or a gun