defianttofu

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reblog if you’re a lesbian who supports bi girls, a bi girl who supports lesbians, or if you want all wlw to have a nice day

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Oh fuck

host as a kid: Oh man, it's really easy for me to slip into character and become a whole different person! I even get lost in the character and truly believe I'm them. I even lose track of how long I've been pretending to be a character. This must mean I'm a gonna be a great actor when I grow up :)

host as an adult: why can't i remember my childhood

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Or at least wait for the person to mention their thoughts if they think they may be one, I was pushed into the idea that I may be a system after expressing a few experiences and now everything doesn’t make sense and it’s incredibly frustrating as the person who has to figure everything out alone.

Am I the only one who gets really squicked out seeing people suspect that other people are systems or say things like “system egg?”

For one, in my opinion, don’t suggest to people they may be a system unless you’re their therapist or they’re seriously wanting your input on the matter.

The brain hides this disorder from you for a reason. If someone is a system they’ll find out when they’re ready. Don’t force it. It’s not fucking cute to try to push someone like that, because if you’re right, it could absolutely result in the worsening of dissociative amnesia to try to cover it up.

Also, I really hate how the system community uses trans terminology as if being a system and being trans are at all the same experience

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yeah im TRANS: Taking a Rancid Assripping Nuke dropping Shit

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why is HRT so expensive?? even the "cheaper" options are too much, I am paid $11 an hour AND I'm a college student in this day and age I do not have $100-$300 just lying around. I've looked everywhere for options that might work but its all out of my range and my insurance is out of the question so everything is out of pocket. it's like I'll never be able to actually transition.

#trans hrt #he him #trans vent

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A poem about being sick

just take a sick day!

but how do you take a sick day when it is everyday?

When i wake up, bones screaming, heart beating, lungs constricting

i can’t remember the last time i didn’t have a sick day.

people tell me to exercise it off

but how can you excise when your knees give out from under you when you get out of bed in the morning?

when your lungs already push themselves up against your ribcage trying to escape this doomed flesh

don’t you think i’ve tried that!?

all the oils

and the meditation

and chiropractors offices

and pain killers that do more damage to my liver than numbness of my pain

i’m tired of sick days

sick of wondering if my heart is actually beating that fast or if it’s just my mind

sick of spending dollars on braces and tape to keep my joints in place

i’m sick of sick days!

when my bed feels more like a coffin

and my poetry sounds like an obituary

where a bullet sounds more merciful than giving prayer another try

i’ve asked god to heal me

and he’s stayed silent

silent like the tears i struggle to hold back at night when the pain keeps me awake

silent like the pain i keep to myself because of i talk about it i’m pessimistic

i’m so sick

and so tired

of being sick and tired

#actually disabled #chronic pain vent #vent poetry #spoken word

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“Does it hurt when you-“ It hurts when I wake up in the morning and when I walk and when I sit and when I lie down and when I go to bed and when I eat and when I drink and when I breathe and when I blink and

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My body is eating itself alive and I can feel every bite. I sit still as my muscles are gnawed at and torn apart. There is nothing else to do and there is no stopping it.

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if your friend asks you to misgender them in front of their family, do it. if your friend asks you to refer to their partner as their roommate or friend, do it. if they ask you to deadname them, do it. allyship is about prioritizing the safety of marginalized people, especially when it comes before your desire to fight their oppressors.

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They couldn’t even use a verb as a verb😭😭😭

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i want to share with y’all some advice, keep in mind that this doesn’t help everyone, but it’s helped me a ton and maybe it’ll help you.

if you feel sad, angry, or that you may be starting to dissociate, partake in self care, it keeps you grounded (at least me for me)

if you can shower, shower.

if you have a skincare routine, partake in that.

if you are hungry, thirsty, eat or drink something.

take care of yourself, even if it feels insignificant, remind yourself that you are human and you deserve to be taken care of.

i’ve showered, done my skincare routine, made myself some mac and cheese, and now i can handle a bit more than I could earlier.

Don’t push yourself, just take care of yourself, you are loved, you are important.

if you need help that is okay and valid, if you want someone to make you a comfort food, if you want to lay with someone and just be there with them, do it.

Y’all are beautiful, valuable people, and if no one has told you today:

i’m proud of you, you do so much to stay alive, to be yourself and to do what you need, breaks are not a crime, take care of yourself my dear<3

#mental health #dissociation #depression #self care #advice

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they need to make noise canceling headphones that are comfortable when you lay on your side in fetal position

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was talking to my gf about my fear of dying young for being trans and my mom putting my deadname on my gravestone, and she said "i hope that never happens, but if it does, i will carve your name into your grave myself if i have to." and i think theres something extremely raw about that sentiment and trans community in general. you can kill only our bodies, but you cant kill transsexuality

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Palestinians are not "animals."

They are not "children of darkness."

Little kids are rescuing cats and trying to comfort them when they themselves are terrified.

A doctor broke down when his father and brother came into the trauma unit.

And several of his colleagues hugged and gathered to comfort him.

Journalists are playing with babies.

Doctors are refusing to evacuate hospitals because their patients can't and refuse to leave them.

There's a little boy who gives tea to the journalists and thanks them for spreading their stories.

He's displaced at the hospital, his home is gone.

A kid was asked what he wants to be when he grows up and he said kids in Gaza don't grow up.

Kids are writing their names on their arms so they can be identified.

Momin Kireka is a Palestinian journalist who was disabled by an Israeli attack in 2008.

And despite the difficulty in moving around, he vows to continue to show the world the truth.

Awni, a young Palestinian boy has a gaming YouTube channel he loved so much.

He was killed in the bombing.

Mohammed Sami was an artist who's dream was to open an art gallery.

He was playing with the kids to raise their spirits. And the next day he was killed.

They are victims.

They are going through unimaginable horrors and still find it in their hearts to be kind.

They have hopes and dreams just like you and I.

They are people.

And they deserve to be remembered as such.

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Reclaiming the attention-seeker label for those of us whose mental illness *actually* causes a need for constant attention. Yes, I do things specifically for the attention it gets me. Die mad about it.

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Do you ever see it coming or is it always a surprise when it hits?