This is so sweet I had to hold back the tears cause I have on makeup for a wedding that I'm going to but my eyes definitely started to sting đ I love dad Daryl so much đ
But Put Together, the Cracks Weâll Close In
Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader
Setting: Early Alexandria
Warnings: Typical TWD violence and gore; mentions of past child abuse; mentions of suggested abortion; blood and injury
Summary: Fresh into Alexandria, Daryl meets his match in a two year little girl and slowly loses his heart to her mother. You.
A/N: Based on the request/headcanon from @louifaith
Just a couple of things. The child is described as in hair and eye color. Nothing is mentioned of reader so these traits could come from her father. There is also the mention of an âEskimo kiss.â I grew up using that term but Iâm not sure if it is offensive or PC nowadays. please feel free to send me a message if I need to change it. It is not my intention to be offensive to anyone! Also, sorry if anyone likes Spencer. He's always my go to asshole.
Šceltic-crossbow 2024. I do not allow for my work to be copied, translated, modified, adapted, or placed on any other platform without my consent.
âSâthat?â
Daryl felt the opossum sway in his grip, looking down with a scowl firmly plastered at the bright eyes returning his gaze, brimming with curiosity. She was a toddler, maybe two years old? Christ, someone had a toddler in this mess. âDinner.â He grunted, pulling the dead animal out of her reach. He found out quickly that the curious little creature would not be deterred so easily. Standing on her tip-toes, she made a grab for the marsupial. âKnock it off.â He huffed and took a step back, bumping into Carol.
âDaryl, sheâs a child. Donât be such a grump.â
âAinât you got a mamaâfamily to get back to?â He snapped, ignoring his best friend. The little girlâs eyes brightened.
âMama! Mama!â She clapped. Daryl rolled his eyes at her enthusiasm.
âYeah, go get âer.â There was an intense sigh of relief when the little human went running (waddling?) out of sight. âThey got kids here.âÂ
âYes, Daryl. Thatâs what that was.â Carol nudged him playfully. âThe people seem to think theyâre safe here. It gives me the creeps.â He nodded but didnât comment. âThey obviously donât know whatâs going on out there, not like we do. I think we need to be cautious here. Find a way to fit in but keep our guard up, you know?â
Daryl snorted. âYeah, good luck with that. Ainât got no intention of tryinâ to fit in with these folks. Livinâ in a fuckinâ fairytale here. Ainât gonna last.â
âYouâre such a ray of sunshine.â Sasha clapped him on the shoulder as she passed, earning yet another grunt.Â
âMama, here!â
Oh dear god, no. âSâback.â The hunter stated flatly.
âOh, and she brought a friend.â Sure enough, the little girl was dragging you along, tugging incessantly at your hand as if the child had found the worldâs most priceless treasure. âYou did tell her to âgo get her.ââ
âNadia, slow down!â
And slow down, she did. Right in front of a scowl-wearing redneck with a bleeding opossum in his grasp.
âMama, dinner! Dorl dinner.â
Dorl?!? Daryl looked helplessly over to where Carl was carrying Judith, the little light of his life. Would this be what she was like as she grew up? She already knew him, loved him despite how broken and hopeless he was. She would laugh at him if he was ranting about something and hold out those chubby little hands and he was done for, whatever had irritated him was forgotten.
But this child? This wasnât his lilâ asskicker.Â
Daryl liked kids but he liked them from a distance. He had no business being around them, save for Carl and Judith. I wish I could have known Sophia. He wouldnât bother getting to know anyone in this place. Itâd burn like every other home they had anyway.Â
âDorl, huh?â You smiled.
âDaryl.â He replied flatly, his lip curling.
âIâm Y/N. I assume Aaron found your group?âÂ
He didnât answer, too occupied with trying to continuously move away from the small child clumsily reaching for his knife sheath. âStop that.â He barked, expecting the kid to balk. She did quite the opposite and wrapped her tiny arms around his leg, just below his knee. What the fuck was he supposed to do now? Shake her off? Of course not. She might get hurt. While he really didnât want to be touched, he couldnât help but feel like it was somehow his job to make sure this kid wasnât hurt. âCan yaâwould yaâ?â Shoulders slumped, he didnât even gesture. You know what he was asking.
Chuckling, you reached down and gently pried the little girl loose. âNadia, youâre supposed to ask before hugs, remember?â
âHug Dorl.â The dark-headed child pouted.
That was his cue to step away, as quickly as possible, without running. He absolutely did not run.Â
When you looked up, he was already gone, lost in the middle of his group as they headed in to surrender weapons and be interviewed by Deanna.
Daryl sat on the now red-stained porch, prepping his kill for cooking later. Carol had scolded him and made him promise to use the backyard going forward, but he doubted they would be there long enough for him to need the area. It was just the way the world was. Nice places like this could never last.
âDorl dinner!âÂ
Jesus take the wheel. âYa need a bell.â He grunted, looking around for you. âAnâ apparently a leash.â Maybe if he ignored her, she would go find you. But what if she wandered off alone and somehow made it out of the gates? Shit. âSit down, gremlin.â
She giggled and patted her chunky hands against her chest. âNada.â
Daryl stopped moving and stared for a moment. Wasnât that Spanish? Maybe? Wait. You had called her Nadia. Maybe thatâs what she was trying to say. âNadia?â Blue eyes squinted in wait.
Nadia bounced and nodded and then pointed at him. âDorl! Dorl, Nada!â
He released his knife and leaned his elbow against his knee, the heel of his hand pressing into his forehead. âDare-ul.â He tried.
âDooorl.â
âOh, for fucksake.â The archer gave up, picking up his knife and continuing with his task. Nadia didnât even seem to notice what he was doing but leaned in closely with the most serious look heâd ever seen. He needed to lean back once she made it much too far into his personal space.
âFucksy.â She said, maintaining eye contact as if she were challenging him.Â
âNo! Donât say that. Canât be teachinâ ya shâstuff like that!â He panicked, opossum forgotten. Daryl threw back his head with a groan. âCanâtcha please just go to your mama?â
Nadiaâs little face lit up and off she went with a chorus of mama mama mama. Watching her go, Daryl wondered where the little oneâs father was, but soon banished the thought. It was none of his business. What was his business was to make sure the annoying curtain-climber made it home safely. Abandoning his dinnerâno time to cover it if he was going to catch upâhe walked briskly until he caught sight of her. Little legs can fuckinâ move. Weâre fucked when Jude learns to walk.Â
He stayed close, but far back enough to not catch her attention. She seemed to know exactly where she was going. Rounding the curb to the end of the street, he caught sight of the small house. Quaint compared to the other homes. The front door was open but he dared not go closer. Boots firmly planted on the sidewalk, he observed the struggle of a tiny human tackling front porch steps. Nadia was determined though. Had he chosen to help, he was certain she would give him that serious look again and yell at him in baby-speak.
âNadia Avery, how do you keep getting out the door!âÂ
Maybe cause you leave it open? He suppressed the urge to roll his eyes.Â
Regardless, there you were, swooping down to gather the bundle into your arms with a couple of sobs and more than a few sniffles. âBaby, you have to stop doing that! You scare mommy.â Nadia was nuzzling your jaw but then suddenly pointed right at him.Â
âDorl got Nada.â
When your eyes found his own, Daryl froze. His arms were out to his sides, his eyes wide. He looked nothing short of a deer caught in the sights of his crossbow when it realized itâs about to be shot. âIâuh, kid found me.â Forcing himself to relax a fraction, he rubbed at the back of his neck. âDidnât want âer wandârinâ âround by herself.âÂ
Your face softened into a grateful smile. âThank you for making sure she got home.â He nodded curtly and you turned away, only to turn back in the same motion. âWould you like to come inside? I have some stew that Iâm heating. Plenty for the three of us.â
A part of him that he didnât know existed wanted to immediately accept the offer but the part of him that had kept him alive this long spoke louder. âNah, got my own dinner I need to take careâa. Thanks, though.â
You nodded, the smile never faltering. âThink of it as a standing invitation. Nadia seems to like you. Sheâs a good judge of character.â
He snorted. âAlright.â
âGoodnight, Daryl.â
âNight.â He took two steps.
âNighâ nighâ, Dorl!âÂ
He heard the sound of a kiss being blown his way, but didnât turn around. Maybe if he ignored her, sheâd go away.
It had been three days since he had last seen you or Nadia. He found that it unsettled him but not enough to go looking. Aaron had gifted him a work area and parts to build himself a bike. It was the best thing anyone could have offered him at that point. He felt like he still wasnât fitting in, and while that was the idea at first, now it just feltâŚlonely.Â
Carol was always gone when he got up and not home yet when we retired to bed. Rick and Michonne couldnât stay out of the bedroom for more than five minutes unless something âcoppyâ needed to be handled. Carl was always outside with Jude in the nice weather.Â
Daryl was alone. Though he usually preferred it that way, he couldnât seem to shake the negativity it seemed to bring to the surface.Â
Spending time around something familiar from the old world came to be a comfort. When the posh little community with its âgood morningâ while walking the dog and laughter over coffee at the gazebo became too much for Daryl, he disappeared into Aaronâs garage. Aaron and his husband seemed okay in the archerâs book. They never once stared at him like he was going to rob them blind or beat them to a pulp. They showed him kindness even if his only attempts at conversation consisted of nods and grunts.Â
âYou going to this party tonight?â Aaron asked from the doorway the led into the house from the garage.Â
âNah.â Daryl picked up a wrench and continued his work, not giving the question a proper thought.Â
âYou really should make an effort to get to know more people here.âÂ
âThey donât like me. Shouldnât, really.â The archer shrugged.Â
âThey just donât know you. Maybe you should give them a chance.â Aaron kept his persuasion in the doorway. He had gifted Daryl that space and was unwilling to step into it without an invitation he was unlikely to receive without asking.Â
âBetter they donât know me.â
There was a sigh that made Daryl curl his lip. âJust think about it, okay?â The shuffle of feet and the door opening signaled the other manâs exit.Â
Why should Daryl go? He had little interest in fitting in, even when his own group was making such an effort. Carol and Rick were wary and had whatever it was they had but Carol would tell him if she felt it necessary. Daryl was just plain wary, utterly uninterested. Most of them would likely be dead soon and he didnât need anyone else to mourn.Â
So why he found himself showered and in a fresh set of clothing that was his own form of presentable was absolutely beyond him. It had nothing to do with the fact that on his walk home, he thought maybe youâd be at the party. Nope, nothing like that.Â
He had made it at least to the yard outside, watching the festivities through the window. Everyone he knew seemed so at ease in there. Dressed up, laughing and drinking. Mingling like they belonged there. He didnât belong there.Â
âNah.â He said softly before turning away. He was passing by Aaronâs house when a call of his name from that familiar voice had him stopping with a sigh. âYeah?â
âYou went. Good for you. Did you have a good time?â Aaron asked from the porch. Daryl shrugged. The manâs eyes narrowed and suddenly the archer was nervous, feeling judged. âYou didnât go in, did you?â
Daryl shook his head. âJust ainât my thing.â
âHey, you tried.â
âWhy didnât you go?â That wasnât supposed to sound so accusatory but Daryl was tired and had simply had his fill of the day and that place.Â
âEricâs ankle is still giving him trouble. We just thought it best to skip out on this one.â
This one? Christ. That insinuated there would be more. With an inward groan, he answered outwardly with a grunt.Â
âWeâve got dinner ready. More than can feed us. Can we tempt you?â The offer was sincere and Daryl was hungry, but his battery was running on fumes. He glanced toward his own home and then back at Aaron. âEric makes a mean spaghetti, man. Come on, youâre already out.â
Daryl sighed. âFine.â He was grateful for the invitation, he just sucked at showing it, as with almost every other emotion. Aaron held open the door and with a nod, the archer entered, still ill at ease being inside someone elseâs home when his own still felt less than comfortable.Â
âDorl.â
Before he could prepare himself, Nadia was latching onto his lower legs. Arms out awkwardly, he glared at Aaron. âDidnât say she was here.â
The man just shrugged a shoulder. âDidnât say she wasnât either.â
âHi, Daryl!â You came around the corner from the dining room, no doubt to gather your spawn but he couldnât seem to form a thought around the smile you were giving him.Â
âMama! Dorl!â
âI can see that, baby. You think you can let go so that he can walk?â Nadia shook her head with a vicious pout.Â
âDorl up?â
âWhat?â He looked down at the toddler and back up at you, silently hoping youâd act as translator for the little gremlin.Â
âShe wants you to pick her up. You donâtââ
For reasons unbeknownst to even him, he bent down and placed his hands beneath Nadiaâs arms, lifting her onto his hip. It felt no different than holding Judith. Nadia was heavier of course.Â
âDorl!â Chubby arms wrapped around his neck, her little cheek rubbing against his stubbled one. âTickle.â She giggled like it was the funniest thing in the world and repeated the action.Â
You were still smiling but much more softly. âShe really likes you.â Daryl grunted. âYou donât say much, do you?â
âAinât gotta lot to say.â He shrugged the shoulder Nadiaâs chin was resting on, sending her into another fit of giggles. She pulled back suddenly, very in his space and then pressed her face against his cheek. He flinched but otherwise didnât move. There was the smallest flutter that tickled his skin before she reared back again, smiling proudly. âWhatââ
âButterfly kisses.â You informed, arms crossed but your smile hidden behind your hand.Â
âWhat the fuâheckâs that?âÂ
âOh come on, you never gave your mom butterfly kisses?â You chuckled.Â
Daryl felt nauseous at the mention of his mother. The only thing heâd shared with her were bruises and a few after-beating hugs. But you didnât know him. He took the anger and locked it down, but it must have spilled into his expression.Â
âIâm sorry.â Your smile was gone, but to his surprise (and relief), there was no pity in your eyes. Only understanding. Still, it wasnât a subject he cared to let linger.Â
He turned his attention to the child, who had developed a sudden interest in the hair over his ears. âYa ever gave a Eskimo kiss?â He almost laughed out loud when Nadiaâs eyes flew wide with wonder. She didnât confirm or deny but the fact that she hadnât moved was answer enough. âSâsimple.â Daryl brought a hand up to the back of her head and gently urged her forward, rubbing the tip of his nose over hers. âThere. Eskimo kiss.â
She kept those wide eyes as her little mouth began to spread open into one of the biggest smiles heâd ever seen on a kid, granted he hadnât spent much time around any.Â
âAgain!â She squealed, grabbing his cheeks and pulling him forward. He expected to have a bloody nose from the force with which she came at him, but her movements became deliberate and gentle, as if getting it right was the most important thing in the world.Â
Nadia was incredibly pleased with herself, her little hands patting against Darylâs chest before she wiggled out her request for freedom and sprinted toward the dining room with this newfound information to share with Eric and Aaron.Â
âCareful.â You said, though there was no hint of anything unkind in your tone. When he looked away from the other room, he found your expression to be one he couldnât seem to identify. It was soft yet guarded. He didnât move away when you reached a single hand out to adjust his vest. âYouâre smiling.â And you walked away, leaving him there to realize that he was indeed wearing a small, lopsided grin.Â
He shook it off with a groan, absolutely regretting his decision to come in for dinner.Â
âDorl!â Came the loud shout from the table. âDorl, sketti!â
This was not going to end well.Â
It had been two weeks since the spaghetti dinner, which in fact had ended rather pleasantly. Aside from your giggles when he realized he was eating his meal with the same gusto and manners as the toddler next to him, Aaron had offered him a job that let him go outside the walls. Heâd accepted almost immediately.Â
Little Nadia had been determined to take him home with them, so he walked you there with her tiny hand in his. Halfway, she had begun to tire and fuss, instinct had kicked in and he scooped her up in the same manner he would Judith. The child was asleep on his shoulder almost instantly.Â
He had zero intention of entering your home and was thankful the kid was out cold so that she couldnât initiate the suggestion. He had passed her off to you and started to leave.Â
âDaryl.â You had called quietly. He still wasnât sure why he had turned back to you so quickly. âThat invitation is still open.â You smiled, he grunted. âThanks for being so sweet with her. Goodnight.â
There had been a heavy feeling in his chest but he had nodded. âGânight.â
Now, you and little Nadia were almost a constant presence when he wasnât beyond the wall. A presence that he found no longer really irritated him.Â
He would sit on the porch with the kid, working on his crossbow while Nadia colored or played with toys. He had to find her some of her own to have there because it seemed she and Judith were at odds about Darylâs attention. He had made the mistake of lifting lilâ asskicker out of her playpen while Nadia was on his heels and the latter had begun to wail.Â
He had quickly passed Jude off to an equally concerned Michonne and scooped up the kid. âSâwrong? Hey.â Little arms wrapped around his neck and, though he didnât see the angry pout directed at the other baby, Michonne did. He turned at her chuckle, eyes wide and confused.Â
Before she could explain, those little arms squeezed harder. âMy Dorl.â
From that moment on, he saved time with Judith for emergencies (there were none) and for after Nadia had gone home with you.Â
âDonât touch that, Dia.â Daryl huffed, catching her little hand reaching for the knife he had on the porch table. He had spent the morning skinning a few squirrels for Carol to use in a stew but was at that point, working on the tension on his bow.Â
And babysitting.Â
You had some inventory to do at the infirmary with Pete. The doctor gave him bad vibes so when you had asked, heâd accepted all too quickly. Even offered to tag along and keep an eye on the kid there. In the end, after you had politely declined, he had reasoned that you were a grown woman and could handle yourself.Â
âBabysitting, again, hmm?âÂ
Daryl glanced up from his crossbow toward Carol on the top step, Nadia already beaming up at her from the hug around her waist. It lasted all of three seconds before the kid was back to her toys beside Darylâs boot.Â
âMhm.â Was the only answer he offered, one that was mimicked from the little person below him. He didnât smile but Carol didnât miss the way his eyes left the weapon to regard Nadia for a moment before returning to the task.
âWhereâs Y/N?â She asked, plopping down onto the other chair. She grabbed a toy that had rolled away and handed it back to the child.
âSome inventory shit at the infirmary.â Daryl shrugged, rotating the bow to check his work. Carol made a noise that gave him pause, one he didnât like. âWhat?â
âNo oneâs at the infirmary. I was just there for Mr. Hendersonâs blood pressure medication.âÂ
He could feel his heartrate picking up, a sense of foreboding so strong that he could barely think straight. âPete werenât there?â
Carol shook her head. âNo one.â She sat up straight when Daryl stood, sheathing his knife and placing his crossbow on the railing. âDaryl?â
âDia, Iâm gonna be right back. Youâre gonna stay with Carol for a few minutes. Tell me the rules.âÂ
Nadiaâs wide eyes narrowed into seriousness. âNo bow. No move. Be good. No shit.â It took her a moment to babble through the small list but Daryl ruffled her hair with the smallest of half smiles.
âNo shit, Daryl?â
He was already stepping off the porch. âHer mama hears âer sayinâ that anâ mâa dead man.â
Carol laughed and shook her head, turning her attention to the little human that was already working up to a cry as Daryl walked out of sight. âDo you like cookies, Nadia?â
He checked the infirmary first. He didnât doubt Carol, but maybe she had missed a room or something. It was, as Carol had said, empty. âFuck.â The next most logical place would be your home. He ran the entire way. Heâd feel like an absolute fool if you were fine, but heâd cross that bridge later. The door was open, he could see that from the moment he rounded the curb. You had a habit of doing that and he hated it, but who was he to tell you what to do?
âY/N?â He took your steps two at a time and stopped on the threshold. âY/N? Are ya here?â No answer. He felt like shit the moment his boot touched the floor inside. Heâd never taken you up on an invitation for the dinner you continuously offered him, much less any offer to simply come inside. Now here he was tearing room to room, in your safe space. There were covered pots on the stove and the oven was on, but where were you? âY/N!â He placed a booted foot on the bottom stair before your voice stunned him frozen.
âDaryl?â
He nearly collapsed in relief.
âWhatâs wrong? Whereâs Nadia? Daryl?â
âSheâs fine. Sheâs with Carol.â He rasped, sheathing his knife when he saw you staring at it. Your hair was wet, your clothes damp. You must have been in the shower. âMâsorry. Carol said ya werenât at theâjust got worried. Mâsorry.â His eyes had lowered to the stairs below you but then your bare feet were padding down them to stop directly in front of him. âIâll, uhâlemme go get âer.â He had barely moved before your hand was on his shoulder. To his shock, he didnât flinch; didnât even have the urge.
âAre you okay?â You asked, ducking your head to seek out his gaze. He continued to expertly dodge.
âMâfine. JustâIâll go get Dia.â He stepped away and out of the loose grip you had on him, immediately missing the warmth of your hand. What the hell was wrong with him?
âI was making us dinner.â The words rushed out of you, like you were trying to get them out before he could leave. Daryl looked over his shoulder from the doorway, an eyebrow arched. âUs. Me, Nadia, andâwell, you.â
âMe? Why?â He hadnât meant to sound so unkind, ungrateful, but that was just who he was down deep, wasnât it? Still, you seemed unbothered, your nervousness born of something else entirely.
âBecause Nadia likes you. I like you. Weâd like to spend time with you that doesnât involve me asking for favors or the entire community leering and making assumptions.â
He still hadnât fully turned, but narrowed his eyes. âThink they ainât gonna make assumptions when ya have me in your house?â
âFair point.â You nodded, chuckling. âHonestly, I donât give a fuck what they think but I worry that you do.â Head tilted, Daryl turned but remained in the doorway. âYou seem so private, quiet. I donât want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.â Your bottom lip disappeared between your teeth for a moment. âSo, will you come? Please?â
As much as he tried, he couldnât sense a single ounce of dishonesty or ill intent in you. It was certainly there, wasnât it? No one outside of the group that had grown to like him over months of death and sorrow wanted anything to do with him. So, why you? Why Nadia? âAlright, Iâll go get âer anâ be back.â He turned and took a step before you called out again.
âDonât worry about changing or anything. Just bring you, okay?â
He nodded around the very foreign flutter in his chest, clearing his throat and leaving the house before he could overthink things right there in front of you. Heâd be able to do that in abundance on the way to grab the kid.Â
To say he was confused was the largest of understatements. You were a beautiful woman. Where was Nadiaâs father? In that world, the absence usually meant he was either dead or had willingly left, which he couldnât fathom either. Was the kid the reason all the single men werenât knocking down your door? That couldnât be it. Nadia was amazing, all bright smiles and such an innocence that was refreshing in a world as dark it was.Â
Even if you did have suitors, why were you taking the time to get to know him? He was damn sure nothing special and had nothing to offer you. Daryl growled at himself. He was jumping the gun. You hadnât expressed any real interest in him. You wanted to have dinner. Aaron and Eric had him over for dinner all the time. It was what friends did. He was your friend after all. He had to be for you to trust him with Nadia. He snorted. Maybe that was all the bratâs doing and you were just along for the ride.Â
His shoulders were slumped, feet dragging by the time he made it back to his house, already opening his arms in expectation of the bundle of Nadia that would be leaping into them any moment.
âDorl!âÂ
âShe was about to strap on your crossbow and come find you herself.â Carol teased from the doorway.Â
âI was barely gone twenty minutes, kid.â He nodded to Carol and turned back to take Nadia home. âYour mamaâs at home makinâ something for supper. Ya hungry?â
âMmmmhmmmm!â Little legs were swinging while bright eyes watched the street in front of them, her arms loosely around his neck, trusting him to not let her fall. And he would never. Daryl craned his head to look at her, all dark hair and big blue eyes. She could pass as his own kid to anyone who didnât know better.Â
Whoa. That train of that was roughly derailed.Â
Easily done when the top of her head leaned against his temple and she began to hum some tune he didnât know. It calmed his anxiety enough to not eat him from the inside out before he made it back to your house. Nadia was wiggling to be lowered before he could even get her to the steps. Much to her annoyance (if her little growl and pout were anything to go by), he didnât place her on her feet until they were on the porch.
The door was still open and, man, he really wanted you to stop doing that.
âMama!â Nadia squealed, running right into your arms.
âHi, baby! Did you have fun with Daryl today?â You hefted her onto your hip, your face turned toward hers even though your smile was aimed at the archer.
âWe always have fun.â He was close enough to ruffle the kidâs hair without invading your space.
âNo shit!â Nadia proclaimed with her arms in the air. You were smiling but your eyebrows shot up toward your hairline. Daryl cleared his throat.
âMâa tell Carol to watch âer mouth.â
âCarol. Right.â You chuckled. You started to reach for his arm but must have thought better of it and motioned toward the dining room instead. He found he was disappointed. âGo ahead and sit down wherever. Thereâs some wine and water already there.â
Daryl liked wine. Heâd partake when at Aaron and Ericâs for dinner but here? He wasnât sure that was such a good idea. The table could seat six but there were three places set, the middle chair holding a booster seat. He didnât sit, wouldnât until you did. Instead he noticed how close the glasses of wine were sitting to Nadiaâs place and took the liberty of moving each of them to the other side. Not that the kid would bother them but it just feltâright?
âAlright, kiddo. You get to eat first.â You werenât carrying Nadia anymore but she was right behind you, looking up at the bowl of pasta like a pup that was about to get its kibble. Daryl was already lifting the kid into her seat when you turned from placing the bowl on the table. âThank you.â You did touch his arm then. âGo ahead and sit. Iâll be right back.â
Nadia had apparently chosen his spot for him, patting the back of the chair to her left. Chewing on the side of his thumb, he glanced toward the kitchen. Wasnât he supposed to pull your chair out for you or something? Aaron had.Â
âNo, no, Dorl.â Nadia pulled at his elbow, earning a halfhearted scowl before he realized she was trying to get him to stop the anxious habit.
âSorry.â He mumbled, not sure why he was apologizing when she just went back to dancing and eating once he had dropped his hand. He watched her for a moment, just being a kid, innocent and oblivious to the dangers and heartache that lay in wait just outside of Alexandriaâs protective walls. She and youâjust two more people for him to mourn in the end. What was he doing there? He had no business being in your lives. If he didnât lose the two of you, then you would lose him. It was inevitable. It was fate. It was the way the world worked now, tirelessly snuffing out any semblance of light that could give someone like him hope.
And goddamnit, heâd be devastated. He adored your kid and though he couldnât quite decipher what it was that he felt for you, he knew that if anything happened to you, heâd shatter.Â
âDaryl?â
âWhat?â He snapped out of reflex, not fully out of his head before he had realized you were speaking. You flinched, the pasta in the two bowls you were holding bounced but didnât spill. âMâsorry.â
âDonât worry about it. Are you okay?â The bowls were placed on the table and a basket of fresh bread that he hadnât noticed you had already brought out. How long had he been standing there?
âYeah, uhâyeah, mâfine.â He shifted his weight from foot to foot, suddenly feeling very trapped in the small room. It wasnât really that small, was it? âMâjustââ He didnât finish before he all but ran to the door, closing it behind him like he really wished you would start doing. He had a cigarette lit within seconds, trembling fingers bringing it to his lips for a long drag.Â
Pale light from inside cascaded around him as the door opened. You didnât move any closer, obviously staying near Nadia while the little girl ate. âYou okay?â
âMhm.â Lie.Â
âCome back inside?â You requested after glancing toward Nadia, finding her eating her pasta elegantly with her fingers. Daryl said nothing, wasnât even sure he could, but he flicked his cigarette toward the sidewalk and stood, walking past you with but a beat of hesitance.Â
Despite Nadiaâs excitement at his return, he remained quiet, but offered the kid a ghost of a smile when she offered a bite of her own food. Disgruntled at his refusal, she wore her own version of a scowl and continued to eat. You had taken your seat, giving the bread basket a tiny shove toward the archer.
âThanks.â He mumbled. He wasnât sure how to act around you anymore. Staring at his food, he questioned whether the way he usually ate might disgust you. It was never something he actively thought about. He grew up in a home where he snatched what he could get and ate it quickly before someone could take it or reprimand him for it. It was nearly the same now that the world had ended. Thankful for any scrap of food, but quick to make sure it was gone before someone came ready to fight for it.
âIf you think any louder, I might be able to hear it.âÂ
Daryl glanced up, unable to meet your eyes. You were swirling the wine around in the glass with your gaze settled on him. âSorry.â
âDonât be. Itâs just dinner, Daryl.âÂ
With a barely there nod, he picked up his fork and began to eat, slowly and carefully, not noticing the way you watched him with a quizzical expression.
Nadia was having a hard time keeping her head up by the time dinner was finished, her little eyes closing before snapping open with a jerk of her head.Â
âTime for bed.â You announced, attempting to wipe her face around languid movements of annoyance. âCome on, baby.â Lifting her from the chair, you tilted your head when she leaned her upper body back toward Daryl, reaching out with lazy, grabby hands.
âDorl night night.â
Halfway out of his seat, he froze. âThink ya should, uhâyour mama should handle thisâun, Dia.â She didnât seem to have it in her to argue, flopping onto your shoulder. You managed to hold up a finger, asking him to wait while you put Nadia to bed. He did, but busied himself gathering the dishes, taking them to the sink, and rinsing them out as Carol had trained him to do. âWow, my very own human dishwasher. Can I keep you?â
Daryl felt the heat rise in his face, traveling down to his chest and up to the tips of his ears. âStop.â God, you were just as bad as Carol.
âDaryl.âÂ
Oh, boy. Your tone had gone from playful to serious in two seconds flat. His stomach was in knots but he dared not turn around and rinsed the same bowl at least three times. âHmm?â
âIâd like to see, uhâIâd like it if you'd come around more often. Tonight wasâit was nice.â
And there it was. The one thing that had caused him so much inner turmoil now confirmed. You were interested and, for the life of him, he couldnât understand why. When he finally managed to get his tongue to work, the words that spilled out were nothing like the ones running through his head and he regretted them immediately. âWhereâs Diaâs daddy?â Christ, Dixon. âMâsorry.â He tried to backpedal, finally turning toward you and leaning back against the sink with a white-knuckled grip against the edge of the countertop. âAinât my business.â
âGone. I donât really give a fuck where.â You shrugged, so nonchalantly that he had to look at you. âHe didnât want her. Nearly got himself killed finding pills for me to take. I refused, he left. But I have her and I hope heâs a walker.â Your gaze was fond but serious, and he found not a single trace of annoyance or anger. âSheâs never really liked men. Even Aaron and Eric had to coax her inside for dinner with a stale candybar.â You laughed at the memory, and Daryl realized he could listen to that sound for the rest of his life. âBut then you. She wasnât afraid, not for a single second.â
âIt was the âpossum.â He shrugged, shyly ducking his head for only a moment but looking back up through his fringe when you laughed again.
âOkay, we can go with that.â You lifted yourself up onto the island, kicking your legs, reminding him of Nadia. âDoesnât really explain why she stuck to you like glue every moment since then, though. Dorl this and Dorl that. Iâm not complaining. Youâre good for her.â Daryl scoffed, ducking his head once more. âYou are, Daryl. And I think she might be good for you too.â
âSheâs a kid. Donât know no better.â He shrugged, the urge to run becoming more and more prevalent. He didnât belong there. It wasnât his family. Nadia wasnât his kid and you werenât his. God, he wished you were.
You hummed, holding back something. âI had fun tonight, but when you come back, don't worry so much about what I think, okay?â The way he tried to eat more slowly?
âYeah, okay. Was nice. Thanks, uhâthanks for havinâ me.â The archer made the choice to pass you and head for the door. Your bare feet hit the floor just behind him. âIâll see ya âround. Lemme know if ya need someone to watch Dia.â Why the hell did he offer that?
âI will. Thank you.â The smile you gave him was almost sad. Maybe disappointed? âGoodnight, Daryl.â
âYeah. Night.â He crossed the threshold but turned back, keeping his head low. âKeep your door shut.â There was no time for you to answer before he was jogging down your steps, barely slowing his stride all the way home. All the lights were off when he arrived and he couldnât be more grateful to slip in and down to his room to berate himself properly until he was finally able to fall asleep.
Logically, he should have avoided you since that night, but Daryl never claimed to be the brightest crayon in the box. He absolutely did not look for reasons to go to your house, satisfied to find the door closed each and every time. If he saw you carrying something, heâd jog over to take it from you, no matter how big or small. He responded by meeting Nadia in the middle each time she called for him, even if he was covered in dark blood and brain matter.
âDorl smell ick.â She would say.
He was down bad and though he would deny it until his last breath with the age old line of weâre just friends, Carol was smarter than that.
âDaryl, you and I are friends. Youâre sweet on that girl and you can fight me if you try to claim any different.â She stirred at the brownie batter, intermittently swatting away his hand when he tried to sneak a taste. âYou should just tell her how you feel.â
âStop actinâ like ya know evârythinâ.â He snapped with no real heat.
âOkay, fine. I know nothing.â She stated coolly, spreading the mixture into a baking pan. âExcept that Spencer has been spending an awful lot of time around her and Nadia.â
Well, that had his attention. âWhat? When?â He hopped off the countertop and was quickly standing just beside Carol, moving accordingly so that she could continue her baking.
âUsually when youâre out. I think you intimidate him.â
âDamn well better intimidate him.â
âWhy? Youâre âjust friends,â remember?â Daryl curled his lip at her air quotes, turning on a heel to head toward the door.Â
âShuddup.â
He hadnât been focused, lingering on what Carol had told him that morning. Worrying that Spencer was putting the moves on you that very moment he wasnât there to do anything about it. What if heâd missed his chance? He growled, trying to take more of his own weight off of Aaron but his leg burned and ached.
âAinât that bad.â He tried to brush it off, but it was, in fact, that bad. He hadnât seen the damn trap, the walker backing him right onto it. He was lucky the dead bastard didnât take a chunk of him when he went down, but Aaron was quick. Had Daryl been alone, heâd likely be snarling and growling on the ground with his calf still locked within that metal.
âKeep telling yourself that and maybe your stubbornness will keep you on your feet until we can make it back.â The other man huffed. âFirst Eric, now you. I swear, Iâm cursed.â Daryl groaned but couldnât disagree.Â
Christ. The archerâs head was fucked. He couldnât focus with images of you running rampant at the forefront of his mind. The way you would smile when you saw him; how youâd laugh when heâd huff at Dia for calling him Dorl; youâd have him for dinner a few times a week and it was less and less awkward.
He was so fucked.
âOpen the gate!â Aaron called urgently. Daryl hadnât even been paying attention but maybe zoning out was what brought him that far with such an injury. The toe of his boot was dragging, his leg both numb and throbbing in a way he couldnât seem to understand was even possible. Sasha was yelling, but he couldnât understand what she was saying. He was too busy trying to look over his shoulder at the steady crimson trail that followed them. Would walkers follow it right to the gates? âJesus, okay. Iâm going to get help to carry you to the infirmary.â
âFuck Pete. Gimme Y/N or just take me home.â Daryl slurred, his head falling back against the metal just inside the gates. He was fading, tired and smothered by a dark cloud that was creeping into the edges of his vision and mind. He knew he wouldnât die from this, but damn, did it still suck.
âDorl! Mama, Dorl boo-boo!â
Tiny, warm hands were on his face. He was cold, didnât even realize it. Big blue eyes were hovering right in front of his face, a little mouth between chubby cheeks speaking with an urgency that made him want to scoop her up and soothe the worry. âDia.â He breathed, his mind finally catching up, though he wasnât sure for how long.
âNada kiss boo-boo.â
Daryl chuckled breathlessly but pulled the little girl against his chest. âNah, baby girl, donât kiss that boo-boo. Sâgross.â Big crocodile tears were forming and falling, and his heart ached. His little girl was never supposed to cry, never supposed to even be sad. âMâokay. Your mamaâs gonna make it all better, youâll see.â
âMama, Dorl got big boo-boo.â
âI see that, baby. Can you move so mommy can take a look?â You were there, your voice a balm to the pain that was slowly fading.Â
âSheâs alright.â Daryl shifted Nadia to his side, letting her hold on with her head on his filthy chest. Youâd have to give her a bath later and somehow, he had the energy to feel bad about that.
âJesus, Daryl, what did you do?â You were cutting the lower part of his pant leg, right there on the street, but he didnât have it in him to see who might be watching. He muttered bear trap but didnât really recall it being his voice. Was it even him?
The child holding to him made a noise when the wound was revealed, jagged punctures that still steadily bled and she shouldnât be seeing that. Why wasnât someone taking her away? âSsh. Sâokay, Dia. Just look at meâcan ya hum that song ya always do when we take ya home?â A tiny sniffle but then a little tune in his ear.
âWhat happened? He okay?â Rick.
âDaryl!â Ah, Carol. Good.
âHey, take her, would ya? Donât need to be here.â He was gentle if not weak when he tried to hand off Nadia, kissing one of her little hands when he finally peeled them away from his neck. âMâa be okay, Dia.â She cried. Even as Carol promised her cookies and brownies, she cried and his heart ached more than his leg. He barely caught the word disinfect before the hellfire in his leg struck him like a hammer to the head and he knew no more.
âSânot that bigâa deal. I can take careâa myself at home.â Daryl grimaced and watched you moving things around in your living room. You disappeared and returned several moments later with pillows and blankets.Â
âI know you can, but I also know youâre stubborn as a mule and youâll try to go out of those gates behind Aaron within a day.â He barely opened his mouth before you held up an authoritative finger. âDonât lie to me, Daryl Dixon. And donât pretend I donât know at least a little by now.â
âDorl!âÂ
Before he could process her voice, the archer had a lapful of toddler. It was hazy but he could remember how he felt at the gate, the protective instinct, the absolute knowledge that Nadia was his no matter how untrue it was. He couldnât seem to shake it.
âHey, Dia.â
âBe careful of his boo-boo, sweetie.â You admonished in the most gentle tone while propping Darylâs leg up on a pillow. âHeâs going to stay with us for a few days so I can keep an eye on him.â
âWhy?â Came the innocent reply.Â
âBecause Daryl is naughty and doesnât like to listen when heâs told he canât do something. Like you with Miss Carolâs cookies.âÂ
Nadia gasped dramatically and turned those big blues to Daryl. âDorl takes cookies.â
Glancing at you, expression bland, he nodded. âYeah, I take the cookies.â
âSo he has to stay right here on this couch unless mommy is helping him, okay? Can you be my junior nurse and make sure he stays put?â
âThat ainât fair.â Daryl objected with an indignant pout.Â
âWhy? Because you know itâll work?âÂ
Daryl grunted and crossed his arms. He was in for a long few days.Â
A week later, the stitches were out but there was residual swelling that was hindering healing. Nothing to worry about, you had told him.Â
âWhy ainât Ken wearinâ no clothes?â Daryl was concerned to be âplaying Barbiesâ when Barbie wore a bathing suit and Ken was naked as the day he wasâassembled? So far heâd been able to avoid dialogue and just bounce the doll around with facial expressions that kept the toddler occupied. âSeems a lilâ fucked up.â
âYou try finding doll clothes nowadays.â There was laughter in your voice and tenderness in your touch while you cleaned the wound and changed the dressings. Only a couple more days of that.Â
âMaybe I will.â The archer mused, standing the doll on top of Nadiaâs head, keeping it there with his finger on the top. Her little arms could only reach the legs, facing reddening and scrunching with giggles.Â
âTime to pick up your toys. Daryl needs to rest and you, missy, need to get to bed.âÂ
âNoooooo.â
âDonât sass your mama.â Daryl dropped the doll in favor of patting the kid on the head. âGâon now.â The archer dropped an arm outward, fully expecting the hug that was incoming. âNight, kid.â
âNighâ nightâ, dada.â
It was at that moment Daryl Dixon completely forgot how to breathe. His eyes were already on yours before the kid decided to drop that bomb and skip away to brush her teeth like she hadnât just turned his world upside down.Â
âMâsorry. Mâso sorry. I donâtâshe didnâtââ
âIâm justââ you interrupted, backing toward the doorway, âI need to put her to bed.â You stumbled out of the room as if he were chasing you.Â
He wasnât sure he could move if he tried. His heart was in his nose, his stomach in his ass, and his lungs were plaited around his spine. Why would the kid call him dada? It made no sense. A couple of months wasnât long enough for anything like that. Right? Fuck, he needed to talk to Carol. His brain was malfunctioning. He couldnât process this.Â
Throwing off the blankets, Daryl sat up, levering to his feet. He still had a limp but it was easier now. Shuffling to the exit, he stopped, staring at the handle of the closed door. Youâd been doing that now, hadnât you? He said something once and you had listened.Â
âSo youâre just gonna run away after that, is that it?â
The archer spun so fast that he lost his balance, righting himself with a hand on the wall. âIt ainâtâI wasâjust needed to talk to Carol.â He admitted. His shirt was damp and he was certain he would vomit.Â
âShe didnât mean anything by it, Daryl. Iâll talk to her.â You were wringing your hands, your chin wobbling.Â
Donât cry. Please donât cry. He had the sudden desire to hug you but didnât dare move. Aside from casual touches, bumping shoulders in jest, and of course the occasional wound treatment, the two of you had never physically interacted. Not that he hadnât thought about it. Wow, had he thought about it. âI know she didnât mean nothinâ.â Ouch. Somehow that revelation was worse.Â
âShe loves you, Daryl. Iâll talk to her, I promise. Please donât walk out on her. Onâon me.â
He likely looked like an idiot hobbling half the distance to where you stood. âAinât goinâ nowhere.â When you nodded and dropped your head, he dared another unsteady step. âMâa stay as long as ya want me here. You anâ Dia.â With one hand, he touched your shoulder and left the decision up to you. You needed no further prompting to step into his arms. For a moment, nothing else mattered. But then you were stepping back. Â
âOkay.â You nodded, turning your head to wipe away a tear you thought he didnât already notice. âI like having you here.â He returned the nod silently.Â
Nothing else was said. Daryl went back to the couch, you went to get ready for bed. The night went on with both you and Daryl feeling more alone than ever.Â
âShe really called you dada?â Carol asked in an excited whisper, the wide grin on her face in direct contrast to Darylâs frown. âThatâs a good thing, right?â
âNo!â He shot back immediately, looking over his shoulder at the little girl playing on the living room floor. They had somehow even managed to get her to sit next to Judithâs playpen, so long as Daryl didnât touch Lilâ Asskicker, peace remained. âI mean, yeah. Fuck, I dunno what I mean, Carol.â
âDaryl.â The seriousness in her tone brought his gaze to hers, flinching when he found her leaning on her elbows much closer than she had been just a moment ago. âIâm gonna ask you a question and I want you to answer me honestly.â
âAinât never lied to ya.â
âOkay.â Her eyes, just as blue as his own, narrowed. âDo you love that little girl?â
âYeah. Yeah, I do.â It was true. It was so different from how he loved Judith but yet completely the same. He would give anything for her to have been his, to have been there while you carried her. He wanted to spit on the man that tried to force you to end it. He couldnât imagine a world without you and little Nadia anymore. It was as if the two of you were the missing pieces that could give him a chance to be whole.Â
âAnd Y/N?â
âWhat?â
âDo you love Y/N?â Carol leaned back a little, her gaze no less intense.Â
âSâa lilâ moreâI, uhââ
âI said STOP!âÂ
Daryl was on his feet instantly at the sound of your voice, running outside. His limp was less profound and didnât hinder him from descending the steps to see you across the street with your arm in Spencerâs grasp. You were likely on your way to collect Nadia.
âCome on, Y/N. Youâre beautiful, and Iâve seen the way you look at me.â Spencer pulled you toward him.Â
âYouâre delusional!âÂ
âStop being such a prude. Youâve got a kid. You think you got any other options out there?â
âYeah! She does!â Darylâs fist had already connected before the other man had even realized he was approaching. The archer stepped in front of you and stayed there, coiled to attack but holding steady until he was given a reason.Â
âYou?â Spencer spat, literally, a glob of blood and saliva landing next to Darylâs boot. âThe dirty redneck everyoneâs afraid of? Thatâs laughable.â
Daryl started to move until he felt the smallest tug on his jeans. Nadia was looking up at him, equal parts curious and afraid.
âDada mad?â
Your arms encircled his stomach with whispers of heâs not worth it repeated over his shoulder. âGet the fuck outta here anâ donât come near my girls again.â The archer waited, arching a brow when Spencer hesitated.Â
âYou heard him.â Rick stepped up to Darylâs left, Michonne and Carol on this right. âBest be going now.â Spitting again, the man curled his lip and scrambled to his feet, stomping off toward his motherâs home. âWell, thatâs gonna be a problem.â
âIâll go talk to Deanna.â Maggie offered, nodding at Rick but stopping to squeeze Darylâs arm on her way by. What the fuck? Had everyone noticed?
âWe should make ourselves scarce.â Michonne suggested with a knowing grin.Â
Once they were all out of sight, Daryl deflated, one hand falling to the top of Nadiaâs head. âAinât angry, Dia.â She sniffled and seemed to only hug his leg tighter. When it was clear he couldnât turn with the added weight to his injured leg, you stepped around in front of him.
âYour girls?â You asked, expression so terrifyingly unreadable.Â
âI justâhe needed to leave anâ I didnât want him to think he could come back âround.â His bottom lip was instantly being gnawed between his teeth. âNeeded to make sure ya were okay.â
âSo, weâre not your girls?â There was definitely disappointment there. You were wringing your hands again before reaching toward Nadia.
âI mean, if yaâyeah.â Daryl swallowed hard. âYeah, youâre my girls. Have been for a while. Mâjust a idiot anâ I wasâIâm scared. Donât wanna be like my old man.â
You hummed, stepping into him to brush back the fringe across his eyes. âYou havenât told me anything about your parents, but Iâm willing to listen. I wanna know everything about you.â
âMe tooââbout you, I mean. âBout Dia.â He was reaching for your face, leaning in just as you did. His lips barely brushed yours before there came another tug at his jeans again.Â
âHome, dada.â
You laughed while Daryl just looked stricken and confused. âYou heard her, Daryl. Letâs go home and figure this out.âÂ
One Year LaterÂ
âDaddy! Lookit picture!!âÂ
Daryl looked up from the mess of rabbits he was skinning on the porch, blowing upward to move some of the hair from his eyes. The almost four year old was sprinting down the street from the Grimesâ house, a piece of paper waving in her grip above her head. He waved to Michonne who had been watching Nadia make it back safely. âWhatcha got there, Dia?â She was grinning from ear to ear when she presented it to him, holding it out in front of her because ew no when he reached for it with bloody fingers.
There were three stick figures. One was obviously him if the crazy hair and scribbled attempt at a crossbow were anything to go by. A small figure was at his side, dark hair and a big smile: Nadia. And then there was you. Daryl snorted. You were a stick figure with a circle drawn around the middle.Â
âYour mamaâs gonna âpreciate that, kid.â
âAppreciate what?â You stepped out with two glasses of water, placing them on the table and resting your hand on your swollen belly. Nadia proudly displayed the drawing and received a big smile and mhm, so pretty from you while Daryl snickered into his shoulder. âGo put it on the fridge, baby, and wash your hands. Supperâs nearly ready.â
âOkay, mama!â And off she went in a blur.
âNot funny, Dixon.â You dug your bare toes into his lower back until he yelped.
âSâa little funny.â He wiped his knife across his jeans.
âAbout as funny as you cleaning these rabbits on my front porch.â He ducked his head sheepishly when he turned to watch you lower into your chair.Â
âIâll clean it up, Sunshine. Donât get all uppity âbout it.â Rising from his perch, he gathered the meat onto a parchment you had given him and wrapped it, leaving the bones and fur to handle later. âDia! Câmere!â Moving at inhuman speed, she was looking up at him from the doorway the next second. Daryl jerked his chin toward a bag on the table beside his water glass. âBroughtcha somethinâ back.â
You leaned forward with curiosity and watched your daughter pull out the contents of the bag, barely catching a glimpse of the different colors before Nadia hugged Darylâs leg and disappeared back inside with squeals of delight echoing in her wake.
âWhat did you bring her?â
Daryl smirked. âTold ya Iâd find clothes for them dolls.â
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