dumbawesomev69

[dumbawesomev69]

Happy birthday

Master roshi: Yeah I'll get the bitches!

God I feel so depressed…

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Thank you to everyone who got me to 250 likes!

Lit

#250 likes #tumblr milestone #thank you

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Happy birthday Pyrrha

Pyrrha was walking out of another commercial building heading home trying to avoid any fans luckily there weren't many people out so getting back to Beacon was easy.

Pyrrha: oh what a long can't believe they had me working and on my birthday of all days.

Pyrrha groans as she makes it back to her room when she opens the door the room was dark as she turned on the lights.

Pyrrha stood in surprise as all of her friends.

Pyrrha: wow, but how did you know?

Ruby: jaune told us and we wanted celebrated because you've been working hard every day a beacon and your commercials.

Coco: so we decided to make it a surprise party.

Sun: yeah, it was all jaune idea.

Pyrrha smiles until she realizes someone was missing.

Pyrrha: wait where is jaune?

Yang smirks as she opens the door as cardin and his team pull in a massive cake.

Before she can ask Blake told her.

Blake: blow out the candles and you will see.

Pyrrha was confused but did so and suddenly jaune came bursting out of the cake wearing nothing more than a Speedo.

Jaune: Happy birthday Pyrrha! *Rip* OH SHIT MY SPEEDO!

Right before everyone eyes jaune Speedo broke letting free his massive meat as Pyrrha eyes sparkle as everyone else were either covering their eyes or taking photos while with bloody nose which is mostly the girl.

Pyrrha:

Best birthday ever!

#rwby #rwby Pyrrha #happy birthday pyrrha #rwby shitpost

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The Baddest Shota: Baby Sitting Some Arkos

Terra: Thanks again Pyrrha it means a lot to me that your willing to watch my lil' brother. I know your busy after all.

Pyrrha: Oh it's no problem really, after all you always went out of your way to help me study.

Terra: Well I appreciate it all the same, let me introduce you to my little brother... Preferably by him putting down his bat! Jaune What Are You Doing!?

Jaune: Relax, I'm just giving this Homewrecker a warning!

Pyrrha: Homewrecker? M-me!?

Jaune: Yeah You! Why Else Would My Sisters Suddenly Wanna Get Me A Girl Babysitter!?

Terra: Because You Break All The Boy's Legs!

Jaune: 1.) I break their ARMS and Legs, I don't discriminate between limbs and 2.) it's there fault for saying how you two need a good dicking!?... What's a dicking by the ways?

Terra: I, you... Dammit your too endearing to stay mad at... Pyrrha this is Jaune.

Pyrrha: I, um, hello.

Jaune: *Eyes Narrow* Your on thin ice Beautiful!

Beautiful, Me...

Jaune rose his bat at the pink cheeked Spartan  Aura glowing, his eyes lighting as he channeled aura into his bat. Making the nails vibrate and wood splinter.

Jaune: I've seen the dirty shows my sisters watch! I know what adults do with the babysitters! Don't think for a second that your getting any Cotta-Arc lovin just cuz your watching me!

Pyrrha: What!? Wait I don't even like gir-

Jaune: Just cuz it would be a crime to hurt someone as Beautiful as you doesn't mean I won't!

Pyrrha: -///-

He said it again...

Terra: Jaune, Pyrrhas the Mistral Region champion.

Jaune: Never heard of it...

Terra: It means she's really strong.

Jaune: So were the last seven babysitters you hired.

Terra grasped for straws, seeing that the growing angier shota was only getting worse.

Terra: She's on the cover of pumpkin pete cereal.

Jaune: SHE IS!!!???

Abruptly the boy ran to the kitchen and looked on the box cover to confirm the statement.

Jaune: Oh My Gods She Is!

The boy lunged for her grabbing the redheads waist to hug her. Almost as if she might disappear otherwise!

Jaune: That Means You Met Pumpkin Pete!

Pyrrha: That's not necessarily true...

I don't wanna tell him he isn't real.

Jaune: Yes It Is! See! He's Right Here With You!... Is pumpkin Pete just a head by the ways? I've never seen his body. Is it cuz he's fat?

Innocent blue eyes stared up at her as Terra and Saphron sneaked out the doorway for their date.

Saphron: This is great, I never thought we'd find a babysitter he liked.

Terra: I know, for once we won't need to involve the police or hospital.

Saphron: Yep! Nothing can go wrong! 

-Next Morning-

Something went wrong, and not just on their end. Both had had a bit too much fun and a tad too many drinks. And well, Jaune had a babysitter and room service sounded amazing to the two sloshed lesbian’s minds.

So they called a... Winded? Pyrrha to ask if she could spend the night. Had they not been so plastered they might've noted how immediate and even excited her ‘Yes!’ was... And now they were seeing the effects as Pyrrha stood before them, her outfit disheveled, buttons done up wrong, a sock missing and even her hair a utter mess.

Both girls stared... The girl despite her state of dress looked positively glowing as she fumbled about shyly. Not willing to meet their gazes half in shame and they suspected because she could barely keep down her smile.

She, she smells like Jaune shampoo!

Terra: So… You and Jaune seem to be getting along…

What the Fuck!

Terra: Right Saph? Saph?

Saphron:…

Are Those Hickies?

Terra jabbed her wife’s side.

Saphron: Right! Yeah, super good, your knees aren’t broken after all see.

Kneeling Saphron added to the awkwardness by slapping her thighs, and then pausing.

SHE HAS HICKIES HERE TOO!!!

Terra: ‘Sniff Sniff’ Since when did you learn to cook Pyrrha?

Pyrrha’s face burned even brighter.

Pyrrha: I-I didn’t, J-Jaune cooked breakfast for us…

Saphron: ‘Heh’ What, were you too tired to get outta bed haha… Y-you’re not laughing… Pyrrha?

Pyrrha shook in place, obviously overwhelmed with shame and embarrassment.

Pyrrha: I-I Should Go! I’M SORRY!!!

And like that she ran for it… Or really more limped away… Both women were speechless, walking into their home and seeing the place tidy as ever, no signs of battle, bloodshed or wonton destruction. Instead there was a smell…

Saphron: Oh my god…

Terra: I need to check our room!

Terra ran off upstairs as Saphron looked to her little brother, the Shota sitting their his tiny shirt off revealing A LOT of kiss marks…

Saphron: J-Jaune, what happened?

Jaune: You wanted us to get along… The Mommy and Daddy game is fun.

Saphron: Nice… I Mean WHAT!?

Jaune: Oh yeah, I need a new bed, kinda broke it last night and had to sleep in yours…

Terra: OH GAWDS IT EVERYWHERE!!!

Saphron:…

I’m torn between being proud, horrified and envious…

Terra: That’s It! Pyrrha Can’t Babysit Him Again!

Next Time I Getting Bleiss To Do it! He Might Learn How To Swear But At Least Something Like This Won’t Happen With A Lesbian Like Her!

Might write the the actual smut that happened at some point, for now though it's all bout the Lols

[dumbawesomev69]

The Baddest Lil’ Shota

Saphron: Okay Lil’ brother we’re in Vale how bout we- Huh!? Oh Gods! Where’d Jaune Go!?

-Meanwhile-

‘CRASH!’

Store Owner: HELP! THAT CRIMINAL ROBBED MY CANDY STORE!!!

Cop 1: That child?

Jaune: You’ll Never Take Me Alive Pigs!

Cop 2: Should, should we do something?

Cop 1: I’m not about to arrest a kid…

Jaune: What You Call Me!? *Swings Bat!*

‘CRACK!’

Cop 1: AHHH!!! MY LEG!

Jaune: I’m Not A Kid! I’m This Many! (Holds Up Five Finger) I’m Basically Adult You Donut Chugging Tools!

A Crack Like thunder rung and the child was suddenly sent flying from the shot.

Candy Store Owner with a Shotgun: I GOT HIM!!!

Cop 2: YOU SHOT A KID!

WE ARE SO SCREWED!!!

Jaune: Ugh! You tub of lard! That Was A Cheap Shot!

Store Owner: Wha-what?

Aura glowed around the angry shota, his eyes burning blue as he heaved his nailed bat over his shoulder, the wood splintering as he infused his horrendously massive aura reserves into it.

Jaune: Just for that, I’m using my aura, screw what Pops said about only using it when necessary!

Dumb old man couldn’t beat me once he unlocked my shiny power anyways so why should I listen to him…

Before the boy could inact his childishly cruel will though several bullets fired in front of him as warning shots.

Jaune: Tch! Now you got a sniper too, freaking campers…

Before him a storm of petals formed into a Reapette.

Ruby: Halt Criminal scu- Awww!

He’s so cute

Jaune: Huh? The heck are you supposed to be, a magical girl or something?

Ruby: Awe, Look at your lil’ bunny rabbit shirt.

Jaune: Hey! Don’t Dis Pumpkin Pete Or I’ll Take Out Your Knees! Now Answer My questions Pretty Lady!

Ruby: Awe, you think I’m pretty ‘heh’ ~Well, I’m looking for a criminal.

Store Owner: That’s Him! He’s The criminal! He Robbed My Store!

Ruby: You What!?

Jaune: That’s Right! And I’ll Do It Again You Old Racist Bastard!

Store Owner: Racist!

Jaune: Anyone who has a no Faunus Allowed Sign Is A Racist! And deserves to have their windows smashed!

Ruby: But, um… Technically it’s still a crime…

Jaune: Okay, for the last time *Points Bat At Her* Who are you?

Ruby: I’m Ruby Rose and I’m a huntress… In-Training. And I need to stop you…

I Don’t Wanna Fight A Kid! AND HE’S SO CUTE TOO!!!

Jaune: I’ll split the candy with you…

Ruby:…

Jaune:… Do it.

-0-0-0-

Saphron: Jaune! Where Are You!?

Dammit Not Again! This is The Mistral Incident All Over Again! I Have To Find Him Before He Does Anything Like Back Then! If It’s anything like That Time He’ll End Up Cuteducing Another Up And Coming Huntress To His Side! DAMMIT I AM NOT DEALING WITH ANOTHER PYRRHA NIKOS!!!

-0-0-0-

Ruby: Mom Dad! I’ve Failed You! I’m no better then a common thief!

Jaune: Less Yapping and more running Legs For Days!

Ruby: Awe, thankyou!

No Wait! He’s The Bad Guy! The Cute Little Bad Boy!

Jaune: This Way Big Butt!

Ruby: Hey My Butts Not That Big!

Jaune: That’s Not A Bad Thing Y’know!

My Dad says Big Butts don’t lie so they have to be good… right? But how do they talk?

Jaune: Oh C’mon Stop Shoveling Candy in your mouth!

Ruby: But It’s So Good!

Jaune: Dangit!

Well, Guess I got no choice! Just like Pops said! Do With Confidence!

Jaune: Come Here! *Reaches Out and HOLDS HER HAND!!!*

Ruby: O///O WHA!? H-Hey! Don’t Do That! You Can’t Just Suddenly Grab A Girls Hand!

Jaune: Huh? Oh right…

Suddenly he turned and made to better his grip, interlocking their fingers, Ruby’s face turning utterly read as the Shota looked up to her with steeling set eyes no boy his age should have.

Ruby: Y-you can’t do that! Only Couples Hold Han-

Jaune: Your Mine Now! Now Hurry Up!

Ruby: Y-Yes Sir!!!

Oh No! I’ve Been Seduced By A Bad Boy!

Suddenly the reaper turned to roses swallowing up her new Shota and allowing them to escape so much easier.

Jaune: Whoa, why didn’t you do this before.

Ruby could not hear him, all she could hear was the erratic inner monologue and rapidly beating heart. Jaune on the other hand had to ask himself yet again.

Why the heck do every pretty lady I know do what I want once I say that? It Doesn’t Even Make Sense! You Can’t Own People? So why do they like it when I say their mine?

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I wonder if he made everyone a plush

Company

It was a long day for weiss, not as long as it was supposed to be thanks to Ruby breaking a firedust vial inside the store, but it was still a day long enough that her teammates managed to make a number on her. She wanted to relax a bit and knew just the place. 

She stopped in front of JNPR's door and was about to knock when she heard a familiar voice.

Jaune: I should probably do that, shouldn't i?

Weiss: wasn't he supposed to be alone today?

Jaune: But i don't know, the base Pyrrha has been teaching me works so well already. . . . *Groan* sword styles are so complicated, and i'm just too tired. At least you're here for me.

Weiss: who?

Jaune: Having you around makes me feel a lot better, we should just lay down a bit for now. Can you make me company?

Weiss: *eyes twitching* Excuse me!?

Jaune: I really love you, y'know?

Weiss: *vein pops* That's it! *Slams door open* 

Jaune: *fumbling on the bed* W-WEISS!?!? I-i thought you were still on vale!?

Weiss: Who were you talking to!?

Jaune: N-no one! I. . . .m-my scroll! Yeah! I was talking to my sister on my scroll!

Weiss: We both know you're a terrible liar arc! So tell me, who were you talking to!? And where is she!?

Jaune: T-there's no one here! I'm serious!

She noticed him trying to sneakily push something behind his back.

Weiss: What did you got there?

Jaune: *Sweating* N-nothing. . .

Weiss: . . . .give it to me jaune.

Jaune: No. . .

Weiss: *reaching out* Give it to me!

Jaune: *trying to hold her* No! Wait! Weiss i-

Weiss: . . . . . . .

Jaune: *red* . . . . . .

Weiss: *holding a miniature plushie of herself* what. . . .is this?

Jaune: I-it's. . .you.

Weiss: I can see that, but why do you have a plushie of me? And where did you buy this?

Jaune: I made it myself.

Weiss: *shocked* You made it?

Jaune: Y-yeah, it wasn't that hard honestly.

Weiss: But why in the world did you make a plushie of me?

Jaune: *red* it's just. . .for when you're out y'know?. . . .so i wouldn't miss you as bad as I usually do.

Weiss: . . . .

Jaune: Weiss?

Weiss: *nosebleed* Yes?

Jaune: Are you okay?

Weiss: *wiping the blood* Of course I am. Now, i'm willing to overlook this, as long as you can make a plushie of yourself.

Jaune: Oh, I already did it. *Reaches under his bed and picks a jaune plushie* See?

Weiss: It's so adorable! Wait a second, why do you have a plushie of yourself?

Jaune: Oh, uhh. . .Well, I know you don't like being alone, so I made a plushie of me so when I'm with you, little weiss doesn't feel alone. *Sits them together and smiles* That way she has company too.

Weiss: . . . .would you excuse me for a second?

Jaune: Err, sure.

Weiss: *walks out the room*

Ruby: Oh, hey weiss! I imagined you would be he-

Weiss: *slams her head through the wall*

Ruby: !?!?!?

Weiss: *muffled* WHY DOES THAT DOLT HAVE TO BE SO STUPIDLY CUTE!?!?!? THIS MAN IS GOING TO BE THE DEATH IF ME I SWEAR!!!! *Removes her head from the hole and sighs* Do you need something ruby?

Ruby: *shaking* n-no. . .not really.

Weiss: Good, if you need me i'll be spending the afternoon with Jaune, little jaune and little me.

Ruby: Wha. . .?

Weiss: *walks back into JNPR's*

Ruby: . . . . .

Yang: Hey sis, did you find Ice- whoa, what's with the face? You look like you saw a ghost.

Ruby: . . . .yang?

Yang: What?

Ruby: Please promise me that you'll never let me fall in love.

Yang: ????

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It's Godzilla as a baby

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82 YEARS AGO - BATMAN DEBUTED FOR THE FIRST TIME Eighty-two years ago on March 30, 1939, Detective Comics #27 hit newsstands, introducing the Caped Crusader for the very first time in a featured story called “The Case of the Chemical Syndicate.”

“And for all that fierce exterior, I’ve never met anyone who cared as deeply about his fellow man as Bruce Wayne.”  - Amanda Waller, Justice League Unlimited, Season 2 Episode 13 (2005)

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Many years later

Jaune jr: *watching yang/Blake daughter beat up bully* I think I'm in love.

10-year-old Jaune: "Hey, dad? How exactly was mom like as a Huntress?"

Louis:"…"

(A couple decades ago…)

Josephine: *going apeshit with an axe against Grimm and Saleites* "DIE, INFIDELS! FACE YOUR PUNISHMENT FOR DEFYING THE GODS!!!"

Louis: '…Why is that weirdly attractive?'

(Now)

Louis: "She was…much more intense."

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DATE!!!!

Date or Pass: Korra

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Alyx took a deep breath.

Alyx: This can't get worst.

*wiping sounds*

Alyx: 😶 it can

First night Alyx and Lewis stayed with Jaune and Penny

Jaune: You can sleep in the living room. I'll bring the blankets.

Lewis: Thank you for your hospitality.

Alyx: *Rolling her eyes* yeah yeah, thanks.

___

Jaune and Penny: *being loudly busy during the night*

Alyx: God damn, it's already been 3 hours!

Lewis: *sleeping like a log*

Alyx: I hate you from the bottom of my heart Lewis.

Penny: *very loud moan*

Alyx: ugh, i just want to sleep...

...

Alyx: It's finally over? God, finally?

Jaune: *muffled* Hey, you think they can hear us downstairs?

Penny: *laughing* Of course not! You sound proofed the room, remember?

Jaune : Oh yeah. Anyway, i'm ready for round two.

Alyx: OH FOR FUCK-

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Steel/fairy I wonder if there a pokemon like that?

A thing I found. 

Steel Dragon, here! 8U 

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Emergency food

Whose Paimon?

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…well…it was a run

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It can't be done

Goku was seen placing the dragon balls as around him were ever dragon balls characters as shenron was Sunmoned.

Goku: shenron! I wish for you to bring back Akira Toriyama.

Shenron: That wish can't be granted for it is beyond my power even if i want to, however I can tell you he is proud of all of us.

Everyone was saddened but happy to know that their father is proud of them as goku smiles as a tear run down his face.

Thank you for everything

#dragon ball #R.I.P Akira Toriyama.

[dumbawesomev69]

Rip Rooster Teeth

In honor of Rooster Teeth

@freeusemuses @asexxxualerotica @submissiveking99 @megareader93-aka-composcreator @pugsbone @sexycitadel @howlingday @lordofwought @iamafanofcartoons @n6918 @rwac96 @gorillageek27 @dragonotaku-justineverything

#Spotify #Youtube

[dumbawesomev69]

It's time

Ruby: Alright everyone let's go stop..wait where are we?

Ruby looks around finding herself in a dark void as she turns to her friends only to find them gone.

Ruby: Guys! Where are!

??: Ruby

Ruby turns to find Pyrrha Nikos standing before her as tears formed on the hoodie girl as she ran towards her and hugging her.

Ruby: Pyrrha! Your back!

Pyrrha: yes Ruby but I'm afraid it won't last long.

Ruby let's go: what do you mean? Where are we? Where is everyone? We need to find a way out and stop Salem.

Pyrrha gives a sad expression: Ruby, it won't matter because all creators rooster teeth are shutting down.

Ruby: what!!! But, but after everything i mean, there's so much to do I mean jaune recovery, Yang and Blake's relationship, the aftermath of altas everything we've been through and that's it!

Suddenly Ruby felt a hand on her shoulder which she look to see her mom. "Mom!" She hug her while crying.

Summer: yes sweet, it's me

"mom please tell me it isn't true."

Summer: it is, I'm sorry but our time is over.

Suddenly a bright light shine revealing a staircase letting up to the sky.

Ruby let's go as she wiped her tears away. :will the others be their?"

Both Pyrrha and summer nodded as the three of them started walking up the stairs as Ruby heard the voices of all of her friends, enemies and some new familiars.

"hi my name is caboose."

Ruby smiles as the light slowly fates into darkness as Ruby voice echo out.

"I'm back home."

#goodbye rooster teeth #rwby