enby-mama

[enby-mama]

I often see posts about curating your own online experience that make the point, “content creators aren’t your parents.” And, yes, that is absolutely true! And I try not to be like “as a parent,“ but as a parent…

EVEN PARENTS ARE SUPPOSED TO ENCOURAGE RESPONSIBLE READING/VIEWING BEHAVIOR. NOT filter everything ahead of time for their kid.

When my kiddo was 5, his pediatrician was asking him the usual Well Child Visit questions (“What are your favorite foods? What do you do to get your body moving? Do you know what to do if you get lost in a public place?” Etc.) and she asked, “What do you do if you see something on TV that scares or upsets you?”

I piped up like, “Oh, he doesn’t watch TV without one of us in the room,” which was true at the time and is still largely true now. She said, “Yes, but that won’t always be the case, so make sure you’re talking to him about what to do if he sees something that upsets him.”

So we started talking to him about that, and the answer is simple: “Turn it off or leave the room, and talk to someone you trust about what you saw and what you’re feeling.”

The answer is NOT “Ask your parents to make sure you never see anything upsetting again,” because that’s just not possible — and ultimately that would be doing the kid a disservice, since sooner or later he’s going to be out in the world where we can’t control what he watches or reads. That doesn’t mean we don’t try to make sure he’s watching/reading age-appropriate stuff, it just means that’s not the only safeguard he has — and that’s a good thing.

So yes, content creators aren’t your parents and aren’t responsible for making sure you never see anything you don’t like — but also, your own parents should have taught you what to do when that happens. So if they didn’t, take it from me, your internet mom:

Turn it off.

Walk away.

Talk to someone you trust about how you’re feeling.

And leave the person who created the thing that upset you alone.

[enby-mama]

Omg I completely dropped the ball on posting here... Will post updates soon hopefully, if I remember, but quick update I guess, kiddo was born near the beginning of the month, and while there's a story he's doing ok now, updates to come lol

#pregnancy #motherhood #enby mama #forgot this blog existed #update soon #oops

[enby-mama]

14w5d update

Ok so here goes a big catch up update, lots has happened since my last update!

We got that dating ultrasound and everything looks good, our due date is a bit off from what we thought (not surprising since ovulation after a miscarriage is rarely on schedule) but I'm now estimated to be 14 weeks 5 days as of today, with a due date of December 6th!

We told our parents at about the 8 week mark after we got our results back from the first ultrasound and saw that healthy heartbeat!

Below is that first ultrasound (6w5d)!

Had been referred to a specialist OB before we found out we were pregnant due to repeated miscarriages, and ended up with one of the in-house OBs, but after some issues with paperwork and then him giving me medication that expired 3 YEARS earlier... I've requested to be referred to a different clinic who can hopefully help me better. I find out tommorow if they accept my referral since they don't usually accept transfers. We will see how it goes.

Our 12 week scan went well, though the dr has apparently lost half the bloodwork results so that may need to be redone at the new clinic.

Below is the 12 week scan!

I've had a lot of issues with morning sickness and lack of appetite, and have been put on a medication that's made specifically for pregnant folks to help with both and so far it's amazing. Night and day difference. I actually had lost 5lbs between my 12 week weigh in and my 14 week weigh in which was a bit worrying, and it's only been a few days on the new medication but it's been so helpful tbh. I've been able to be less restrictive about eating and have been able to eat more often, and now that I'm in my second trimester, baby is hungry! I've been encouraged to start tracking calories to make sure I'm getting enough, but I had a eating disorder back in highschool and while I'm past the vast majority of all that, counting calories and micromanaging my food intake like that can be a bit of a trigger still, so we're planning on having that tracking happen on my spouse's phone so I don't have access to it (my idea, in case anyone gets spicy about it)

I've also started to notice more memory issues and hormonal moodiness, esp since entering the second trimester my baseline of patience is significantly reduced and I get spicy easier, but also if I get too tired I get weepy really easily too. Such is pregnancy I guess.

Also today the app I've been using to track everything told me my baby is the size of a mouse! And then I find a baby mouse in my kitchen! No adults around, not scared of the dogs, and not old enough to be out on its own. Big enough to be furred and it's eyes were open but still a baby. So I caught it and did some research and found it's an endemic species and one they're trying to help stabilize the population of due to habitat loss due to invasive European mice! So after almost an hour of trying to track down someone who could take the poor thing we drove over an hour to get to the rehabbers house. She was thrilled to see him and said he looked healthy, but definitely too small to be on his own and likely had only just opened his eyes a day or two ago. While I do love animals, idk that I would have driven over an hour each way on my anniversary to save a mouse had it not been for pregnancy hormones, but my spouse and I made an outing of it and then went for poutine afterwards, which was a good celebration of our anniversary tbh. I got my poutine with pickles and I know that sounds like a very pregnant person thing to do but good lord was it good!

And then this evening when I was getting out of the shower I felt my baby kick for the first time!!! It's so exciting and hard to describe it, and I'm just... So excited to meet this little one!

Hopefully I'll remember to update this more often, if anyone's actually reading these feel free to give me a poke every now and then if it's been a few weeks and I've forgotten to update!

#pregnancy #second trimester #15 weeks #baby #pregnancy blog #update #ultrasound #anorexia mention #wildlife mention

[enby-mama]

I really need to update this blog, I've been falling behind, but I just felt baby kicking for the first time and I'm being emotional about it

#pregnancy #quickening #its a little early at just under 15 weeks #but im quite sure of it

[enby-mama]

Week 7 update

According to my app were currently at 7 weeks, 4 days! Not much note worthy has happened since my first update, got some appointments booked for next week so will maybe have more news by next weekend, but for now, the little updates so far are:

My tolerance levels for sweets has been drastically reducing. Treats I found enjoyable before have quickly gotten old after a few bites and just been too sweet. Been craving lots of savoury things, especially meats, breads, and cheeses. Ate like half a tray of shepherds pie on my own over a span of like 48 hours. Made a sandwhich the other night that had honey smoked turkey and melty cheese on naan, folded over like a taco and filled with pickle spears. It was really good. Haven't had any weird cravings but the cravings are certainly starting

Have had some morning sickness since like week 3 or 4 probably, but so far it's been mostly just not being able to eat food and variable appetite and some nausea, but no upchuck... Till today that is. My brother's in town and we were getting ready for a big family brunch, and my dad was frying up a very large skillet of bacon since we had so many people. Now I've never been a fan of bacon but I've never had the smell even bother my stomach a little. But one moment I was fine, the next I was holding on to the kitchen sink for dear life, and then not a minute later I was feeling so much better and ready for breakfast with the family. My parents were both asking why I was feeling sick, hoping to tell them once we have the all clear from the specialist, which should be by maybe next weekend.

Have had insomnia on and off probably since week 5 or so? And it's struck again, with it being almost 10 am and I haven't slept yet. Our dog had a big surgery day before yesterday so night before last he was crying a lot and kept me up most of the night and really messed up my sleep schedule, so it'll take a few days to sort that out again at least. Training in advance I guess lol.

That's all I can think of right now, other than I've just been exhausted still and often need naps to get through a day.

I'm going to try to remember to do weekly updates? But my memory was shite even before pregnancy so no guarantees lol

#pregnancy #week 7 #first trimester

[enby-mama]

I barely know where to start, but I guess we'll start with a bit of back story.

My lovely spouse and I have been married for almost a year now. While we've been happy, we have come up against a few challenges too. Within this last year, we've had 3 miscarriages, all within the 4-7 week window (right on the line between a chemical pregnancy (when an egg is fertilized but fails to properly implant and doesn't make it) and a true miscarriage). We booked a specialist appointment after the most recent one (which was in February) and that appointment is in about a week from when I'm writing this.

I hadn't had a cycle since the most recent miscarriage, and they often take a little longer to show up, and for hormones to level out, so I didn't think much of my cycle being almost 2 weeks late, as after previous miscarriages it sometimes took up to 2 months for the cycle to return to normal. I had been sick with a flu so I didn't really notice the morning sickness or the achiness or tiredness like I had with the earlier pregnancies. All of them I knew before we took tests, I just knew. This one I chalked up feelings to being sick, and even though the possibility of me being pregnant had crossed my mind, I mentally handwaved it as just being sick plus hormones not lining up yet, nothing out of the ordinary.

But after I started to feel better from my flu but nausea, insomnia, and exhaustion remained, I decided I should probably take a test and well!

Looks like we're expecting! With everything involved its hard to figure out conception time, so I'm not sure how far along we are, but my tracking app estimates about 7 weeks. If that is accurate, it's the furthest we've got so far and I'm very hopeful that this one stays. Our specialist appointment is coming up, so hopefully we can talk to them and we can see why the miscarriages happened, and what we can do to prevent future ones.

If this dating is accurate, our due date should be somewhere between end of November and beginning of December. (Different apps estimate Nov 26-dec 4). Will have to wait till we get an ultrasound and blood work to determine fetal age.

I also wasn't able to contact my dr yet due to everything being closed Easter weekend, hopefully they're able to get me in for ultrasound and blood work before my specialist appointment. I also need to cancel an MRI I had coming up as they're not recommended in the first trimester, as well as the fact that I'm very claustrophobic and can't do an MRI without an Ativan, which is also not pregnancy safe. Also the MRI was a follow up to a previous MRI that was checking for damage after I had a head injury last year and was continuing to have post concussion syndrome symptoms a year on almost, and they found pituitary swelling, and wanted a follow up. Apparently the pituitary gland also just swells durring pregnancy apparently so that might just be that and not require a follow up after all. Will see.

For now were just waiting till Tuesday when it's time to make like 6 phone calls to sort things out and make sure we're ready. My spouse and I are reading through what to expect when you're expecting, and doing more research as we get ready.

We've not told our families just yet though... After so many miscarriages the risk of another is high enough I don't want to get their hopes up only to immediately dash them. Also somewhat selfishly I can't stand pitying, and find it easier to handle losses if I don't have people walking on eggshells around me or constantly talking about it. Once we have done blood work and ultrasounds and we've confirmed everything is looking good and our specialist thinks we're out of the woods, it's time to tell the family! My parents are going to be thrilled! This will be their second grandchild (my brother has an almost 4 year old boy), and my in-laws first.

Idk if anyone will follow this blog at all, but I look forward to having a record of these special days, and I can't wait to meet my little one! See you soon baby!

(also note for anyone just finding this blog, know that shitty remarks, abuse, or just assholery will not be tolerated. This blog is gonna be a safe space to talk about pregnancy and parenting and I will not tolerate shit stirring)

#pregnancy #parenting #new blog #millenial parent