garden-variety-gnome

[garden-variety-gnome]

[Dusts off this blog]

Wheeew, it's been a while!

But I'm active again 👀 with an updated pinned post too, btw

#gnome speaks

[garden-variety-gnome]

I’m an INFP Scorpio I’m only 5ft tall, my love language is gift giving, and quality time, but I’m touch starved and crave physical touch.

I am non-binary and have long wavy poofy hair and wear glasses. I like to watch films and draw and write.

I love to talk and am friendly but I’m really shy at first. I hyper fixate on things, and am really devoted and loyal. I’m Pan and ace.

I dream of living in a cottage in the woods I like isolation, also I love going to the beach, but I don’t love the people. I have a hard time trusting and doubt when people compliment me and are nice to me, I think they are lying or want something from me.

I love to help and be useful out but have a hard time standing up for myself. I struggle with self love and self worth. I like the quiet and the night time. Some people think I’m crazy… for the way I think about ghost and the universe, I have a lot of Existential thoughts.

Some traits I’d like in a partner are someone who will protect me who will make me feel safe, but someone’s who gentle with me. I also enjoy fun and silly cute traits because I’m a fun silly person too on the inside. I need comfort and acceptance and a lot of assurance. I like to do a lot of things like garden and bake. Also I’m baby and a I like to sleep a lot so someone who likes to cuddle would be nice.

Thank you in advance.

- @monsternightfunkin 💙

After some pondering, I'd say your best match would be with...

Minus!Lemon! :D

Minus would no doubt be able to get you out of your initial shell, he's just that kind of guy. A silly, sweet lemon guy. Minus likes to talk a lot too, especially with an ear to listen.

Minus may be a bit scared of your existential thoughts, but it isn't because of you. It's due to how sheltered he's been for most his life. He doesn't have much experience with the outside world, and it's a lot bigger than he ever could've imagined. He won't shame you for having belief in ghosts and such though, not at all- he believes in that stuff as well, actually- but the otherworldly scares him and he'd like to not think too hard on that stuff himself.

Minus is a big fan of your artistic endeavors. He'd love it if you'd read your works to him- he doesn't know how to read but nonetheless he is very interested in what you've written. He gets very excited when he sees your drawings as well. Drawing is an art medium he better understands- it's purely visual.

When Minus compliments you, it's guaranteed to be genuine. He hasn't got a reason to lie, and even if he did, he wouldn't. Not on anything like a compliment. But he would never lie about a compliment. Minus can be known for blurting out compliments whenever- if he likes something, he says so. He hasn't got anything to gain from compliment you besides your reaction.

You will absolutely feel safe with Minus. He's strong, protective, loyal, and just the right amount of cautious. Oh, and buff.

With Minus' freedom from the monster hunters, he is free to be himself. It takes him a little getting used to though, simply because of years of being programmed to act a certain way instead of his own way. As he comes into his own autonomy, he's a very silly and goofy guy- Minus, too, is baby. Minus generally means well, but he can be a little bit of a hazard at times, having more energy than he himself knows what to do with now. This doesn't mean he has no control though- he has a lot, actually. He just can get a bit carried away sometimes, but he knows how to reel it back in when it gets too far out of hand.

Minus is amazing with cuddles. But he wants to be the big spoon- due in part to his large size and due to the gaping chest he's got. You could try to be the big spoon though, with enough trust. And effort, because, uh you're 5ft tall and he's. well. Big. Minus as the big spoon prefers to cuddle holding you at his side or in a heap with you, but if you're big spoon you can nuzzle into his tum or lay across his belly like he's a great big pillow :)

After a while of being free, his fur grows back and he becomes immensely fluffy. Which is very, very good for cuddling, especially coupled with the fact that- as said before- this lemon is Swole hehe. Just a reasonable amount though.

Minus would love to live out in the forest with you, and he'd be more than happy to build the cottage himself. He has a similar stance on people as you, although he has a bit higher threshold for them. People he doesn't know can exhaust him and/or overwhelm him after a short period of time, so he'd prefer to keep away from them as well. After all the monster hunters had done to him, he holds a mistrust for people he doesn't know. Minus also likes the beach too, although he's not one for swimming. He's afraid of the water, actually. He'll more than gladly stay with you in the sand though, and he will be wanting to build a sand castle, there is zero doubt about that. If you decide to take a dip in the water, he'll be keeping a close eye on you to make sure your safe. Despite his fear of water, if you ever seemed to be in trouble- even in the slightest- he's come rushing to your rescue.

><><><><><><><><><><

I know you really like Flesh!Monster but I don't know much about them (although they look like a very sweet dear) so I wasn't going to include them as a result even though I did really want to.

(This was an old draft I edited a bit just now. I didn't mean for this to be so so late dhdbhdb)

(I know more about Flesh. and subsequently Omega. now though, but I also know you've given them up though [hug] sorry bestie. I hope you enjoyed this though, once I send this to you anyways... yes this would technically be past me speaking to you lol)

#fnf minus!lemon #minus!lemon #fnf minus mod #fnf minus #fnf #fnf monster #matchup #match-up #monsternightfunkin #monster fnf #fnf monster x reader

[garden-variety-gnome]

"O-oh, t-t-thank you!" Her cheeks flushed pink, "u-um. If, um, yeah, i-if we do get married, then, um, you most certainly will be invited! And it sounds like you're speaking from experience; you and Proto sound like an absolutely adorable couple."

Hey, 🌟, um, I have a question, and I hope it doesn't come off in a way I don't want it to but, um... So, um, is... Is Patch going to be attending your wedding? I-I know you two are on good terms... So, I thought to ask.

“Oh, hi Arin! Yeah, Patch is going to be there. Don’t worry, he’s agreed to keep his distance from any human attendants so he doesn’t lose control at the wedding. We’ve talked about it…why do you ask?”

#rp #🌟 anon #❌🌟 wedding #roleplay #fnf rp #fnf 🌟 anon #🌟 anon fnf #🌟 fnf #fnf 🌟 #glowingstaranon

[garden-variety-gnome]

"Aw, that's so cute... That's so cute..! I can really see how much you love him. 🌟, you and Proto sound adorable. I may very well cry at your wedding, then; hope you don't mind," she chuckled. "But, huh... I didn't know you helped us free Minus and Flesh at the monster Hunter base. That would explain a bit though. Thanks a lot for your help then," she smiled.

"Pie and I, uh, actually had somewhat of an odd first meeting. Odd in a good way though. We met at the beach after Lem and Minus found him and told me where he was because I was curious. Same place on the beach we had our first date at, actually. Anyways, um, I kind of spooked him and he shakily pointed a cutlass at me. I thought the cutlass was really cool and his aesthetic even cooler, and he gave me the cutlass as a sign of friendship. A few months later, and, well, now we're dating," her smile grew.

Hey, 🌟, um, I have a question, and I hope it doesn't come off in a way I don't want it to but, um... So, um, is... Is Patch going to be attending your wedding? I-I know you two are on good terms... So, I thought to ask.

“Oh, hi Arin! Yeah, Patch is going to be there. Don’t worry, he’s agreed to keep his distance from any human attendants so he doesn’t lose control at the wedding. We’ve talked about it…why do you ask?”

#rp #🌟 anon #❌🌟 wedding #roleplay #fnf rp #friday night funkin #fnf #fnf 🌟 anon #🌟 anon fnf #🌟 fnf #fnf 🌟 #glowingstaranon

[garden-variety-gnome]

She nods at 🌟 and added a little commentary, "that's good. Plush sounds nice."

When 🌟 starts gushing about Proto, she thought that Proto and 🌟 were really cute, "aw... It sounds like it. And if that's the case, then I can't wait to meet him. Neo said he's been trying to reconcile with Proto, and Neo and I-" She paused, her smile dropping, "-Crap... I... I hope we're still friends. I mean, he still acted friendly to me, albeit a little tensely and awkwardly, but he's even letting me temporarily stay at his house as Pie recovers... But he wasn't happy when he found out about Pie and I... I hope- I hope he doesn't think negatively of me, or worse: himself, about that... If that's true though, then I hope we can repair it." She cleared her throat and averted her eyes to try and clear up her thoughts before she said something else. She's had quite enough with her own worrying. Perhaps she should just shift the topic back to happy.

"D-did Pie tell you of our first date together, after the letter? It was so cute," she was smiling again, and she looked a little less tense than she was talking about Neo. No matter what, where, or how, it seemed that Pie always made her happy. "Oh, he was so cute... But that's not new, he's always just so adorable. God, is he just so cute, and sweet, and considerate, and kind...Oh. Um... I got a little carried away, it seems, heheh... Um, so, how did you and Proto meet?"

Hey, 🌟, um, I have a question, and I hope it doesn't come off in a way I don't want it to but, um... So, um, is... Is Patch going to be attending your wedding? I-I know you two are on good terms... So, I thought to ask.

“Oh, hi Arin! Yeah, Patch is going to be there. Don’t worry, he’s agreed to keep his distance from any human attendants so he doesn’t lose control at the wedding. We’ve talked about it…why do you ask?”

#rp #🌟 anon #❌🌟 wedding #roleplay #fnf rp #fnf 🌟 anon #🌟 anon fnf #🌟 fnf #fnf 🌟 #glowingstaranon #friday night funkin #fnf #asdghjkl i hate my adhd. i literally kept getting distracted from writing this and one time i nearly finished it before i got Hella Fucki #ng Distracted and didnt even save what i had written. brrruh.

[garden-variety-gnome]

"It's alright." He thinks for a moment. "I have heard of the backrooms... But the most I know is that it's a winding labyrinth that if you ever find yourself in, then you're highly unlikely to find your way out, even less so unscathed. Those who don't get out, well, the don't get out- they remain... Also I heard there's these poisonous frogs in there whose toxins make you paralyzed but really calm and happy until you eventually doze off and the frog eats you." He clears his throat, "okay, so, back on topic... Um, so, with the evidence you have, it sounds like you may most definitely be correct. You said you've been gradually regaining memories, and not only that, but there's apparently legends of your old self. I don't know Static or Neil, and I barely know Plush, but perhaps you could try and convince them to tell you more? Like, if they live there, they've just gotta have more info than they're letting on.

He paused for a second, thinking a little more, before going on, "and you also said you haven't told your mates because you're unsure of how they'd react, especially with Minus terrified of the place. But he loves you though. I don't think you having a hunch that you came from there would make him stop loving you. Tell them when you feel it's right to. Maybe start with Proto. Truthfully, I haven't met him yet, but he loves you as well and he sounds like he'd be supportive of it."

Hey, 🌟, um, I have a question, and I hope it doesn't come off in a way I don't want it to but, um... So, um, is... Is Patch going to be attending your wedding? I-I know you two are on good terms... So, I thought to ask.

“Oh, hi Arin! Yeah, Patch is going to be there. Don’t worry, he’s agreed to keep his distance from any human attendants so he doesn’t lose control at the wedding. We’ve talked about it…why do you ask?”

#rp #🌟 anon #❌🌟 wedding #fnf rp #🌟 anon fnf #fnf 🌟 anon #🌟 fnf #fnf 🌟 #glowingstaranon #roleplay #tw eating mention #backroom frogs

[garden-variety-gnome]

She snorted when 🌟 said they'd hunt down the reporter with the restraining order. "You can tell me. You said you haven't told anyone about your hunch yet, and although I don't know much about different dimensions, really- unless the spirit realm counts as one- but I can offer a bit of feedback if you'd like." She gives 🌟 a thumbs-up.

Hey, 🌟, um, I have a question, and I hope it doesn't come off in a way I don't want it to but, um... So, um, is... Is Patch going to be attending your wedding? I-I know you two are on good terms... So, I thought to ask.

“Oh, hi Arin! Yeah, Patch is going to be there. Don’t worry, he’s agreed to keep his distance from any human attendants so he doesn’t lose control at the wedding. We’ve talked about it…why do you ask?”

#rp #🌟 anon #❌🌟 wedding #fnf rp #glowingstaranon #fnf 🌟 anon #🌟 anon fnf #🌟 fnf #fnf 🌟

[garden-variety-gnome]

"Don't worry, no offense taken. And there's no need to apologize for rambling, you basically just apologized to the marquis of it. I ramble a lot," she chuckled.

"Um, if it would make you feel a better, even just a little, there was short time that I was a ghost. For almost two months," she sighs, as if was she was letting go of some sort of deep secret.

"Um, not many know about that actually.... Not even Pie. I mean, he knows that I died once, but I hadn't told him that I became a ghost. I guess it's just because I never saw much of a reason too. And a tinge of dislike towards the difficulty I experienced coming back. The gov thought I pretended to be dead to avoid taxes, but they were convinced by the fact that they had my old body in a lab. But then came those damn reporters and journalists. I still have an active restraining order on one of them... But I've been back for almost two years though, so I'm over that. I suppose its due time that I talk more about that though. After I revived, i lost the ability to feel my soul, and use its energy. What happened with Patch and Pie though, it helped me get that back, so... Oh. Crap, wait- Sorry. I told you I had a habit of rambling... Um, sorry about that..."

Hey, 🌟, um, I have a question, and I hope it doesn't come off in a way I don't want it to but, um... So, um, is... Is Patch going to be attending your wedding? I-I know you two are on good terms... So, I thought to ask.

“Oh, hi Arin! Yeah, Patch is going to be there. Don’t worry, he’s agreed to keep his distance from any human attendants so he doesn’t lose control at the wedding. We’ve talked about it…why do you ask?”

#rp #🌟 anon #❌🌟 wedding #fnf 🌟 anon #🌟 anon fnf #🌟 fnf #fnf 🌟 #glowingstaranon #tw death mention #death mention tw #(arin misses the unicorn frappucinos from ghost starbucks the spicy tostadas from ghsot taco bell and all the dead ben and jerrys flavors) #(still in mourning about the taco bell axed menu items..... r.i.p cheesy fiesta potatoes...)

[garden-variety-gnome]

It made her really happy to hearing that she made Pie happy, she let out a quiet, "aw..."

She nodded when 🌟 asked if she's been told about them, but tilted her head a little when 🌟 asked if they'd been told about what they were.

"Oh, uh, well... No, I haven't been told about that. However, Pie was at my house when Minus had lost control in the city. Neo texted him about the situation, and how you had been fighting with him. Um, not to mention, you just, um... glitched?... Think that's the right word... not too long ago. So, I've got a quite sizable feeling that you aren't a human like you appear. That's not at all a bad thing though."

Hey, 🌟, um, I have a question, and I hope it doesn't come off in a way I don't want it to but, um... So, um, is... Is Patch going to be attending your wedding? I-I know you two are on good terms... So, I thought to ask.

“Oh, hi Arin! Yeah, Patch is going to be there. Don’t worry, he’s agreed to keep his distance from any human attendants so he doesn’t lose control at the wedding. We’ve talked about it…why do you ask?”

#rp #🌟 anon #❌🌟 wedding #(if it makes 🌟 feel better Arin was once a ghost for about a month and half) #fnf rp #fnf 🌟 anon #🌟 anon fnf #🌟 fnf #fnf 🌟 #glowingstaranon

[garden-variety-gnome]

He nods, "yeah, I have a tendency to worry and my anxiety has been kinda peaked as of late. I'm sure your wedding will go great," he gives a thumbs-up and smiles, "and yeah, it's nice to meet you too! I've heard a bit about you from different people as well. Good things, no worries." He has the look of a smitten fool on his face thinking about Pirate, "it's sweet that Pie's the one you heard about me from... What'd he say? If you don't mind me asking, that is."

Hey, 🌟, um, I have a question, and I hope it doesn't come off in a way I don't want it to but, um... So, um, is... Is Patch going to be attending your wedding? I-I know you two are on good terms... So, I thought to ask.

“Oh, hi Arin! Yeah, Patch is going to be there. Don’t worry, he’s agreed to keep his distance from any human attendants so he doesn’t lose control at the wedding. We’ve talked about it…why do you ask?”

#rp #fnf rp #🌟 anon #❌🌟 wedding #fnf 🌟 anon #🌟 anon fnf #🌟 fnf #fnf 🌟 #friday night funkin #fnf

[garden-variety-gnome]

"Oh, y-yeah. That sounds like a good idea... Um, but the reason I ask is that, um... So, I don't know how much you know of what happened between Patch and Pie, but long story short, Patch's first meeting with Pie was a duel and it ended when Patch cut off Pie's hand... " He looked to the side, trying to recollect his thoughts. She cleared her throat, not looking entirely sure on what she wanted to say, but she would say it anyways. She hoped 🌟 got it though.

"I-I'm not saying this to inconvenience you or make you dislike Patch or something, it's just that, um, them properly meeting is going to be emotionally charged. I hope they can make up; my friend said Patch was sorry, and that he looked almost as shocked about it as we were... And Pie is really sweet, so if Patch apologizes, I doubt Pie won't forgive him. I somewhat forgive him, I suppose. Pie- Pie almost died... But he didn't: he's alive and having a smooth recovery, and that's what matters most to me... Neo has Patch in rather negative regards though, um, he said if he ever sees Patch, he'll kill him.... But I highly doubt he'll try to, since it's you and Proto's wedding, but, um... I also doubt he'll easily forgive him." She paused, before continuing on to say, "I, um, I hope you found some sort of value out of me telling you this... I don't know- it just felt like something kind of important... I'm sorry if it didn't really matter or that you already were aware of this, and that I just wasted your time, I just... Um, yeah..." She gave a small, awkward shrug.

Hey, 🌟, um, I have a question, and I hope it doesn't come off in a way I don't want it to but, um... So, um, is... Is Patch going to be attending your wedding? I-I know you two are on good terms... So, I thought to ask.

“Oh, hi Arin! Yeah, Patch is going to be there. Don’t worry, he’s agreed to keep his distance from any human attendants so he doesn’t lose control at the wedding. We’ve talked about it…why do you ask?”

#p.s. im going of the bad ending i got... i dont think it changes much and once Neo gets less murderous towards Patch and Pie properly meets #Patch im sure the timelines will merge just fine. #fnf rp #fnf #friday night funkin #tw limb loss mention #tw limb loss #🌟 anon #❌🌟 wedding #fnf 🌟 #🌟 fnf #🌟 anon fnf #fnf 🌟 anon #rp #roleplay

[garden-variety-gnome]

Hooray! To be honest, kinda forgot I was in jail...

Take garden-variety-gnome out of prison please. I really like their roleplays and works. Hopefully this taught them a lesson though.

@garden-variety-gnome has been released!

#mcytblr prison #mcyt #mcytblr

[garden-variety-gnome]

Hi, it's Ezra. It just occurred to me that I may have already sent in a matchup and forgotten, but I have no idea tbh. Sorry if I sent two requests!

Oh, no worries, you didn't! :)

#not a work #gnome speaks #ran speaks

[garden-variety-gnome]

Hello! I was wondering if I could get ship 😊

Hi my name is Emma. I am bisexual and my pronouns are she her.

I have shoulder ish platinum blonde hair. I’m 5’8 and I’m on the thicker side

I would say my aesthetic is like grunge or like skater..? But like also dark academia

I am a Scorpio sun, Scorpio rising and a Aries moon. My love language is probably fiscal touch but I also don’t like being touched (ironic ain’t it) (if you get that reference I love you)

I am super stubborn. Im also SUPERRR sarcastic, like every thing I say is sarcastic in someway. I have low key anger issues. But like I’m also super chill and like go with the flow. I play a shit load of video games mainly animal crossing and Minecraft. I also ramble a LOT about stuff I really like, Greek mythology (it’s my favorite thing in the Entire world to talk about) or just like random facts, and and many other things. I also make a ton of like super stupid puns like dad jokes.

I am actually from Russia but I am fluent in English because both of my parents are also fluent in English and I have live in America for most of my life. I am fluent in Russian (obviously) Spanish and French. I can play the bass, guitar, ukulele, drums, and piano. I am also trained in like swords...? Idk how to say it lmao but I can do a bunch of cool tricks ik I’m ✨talented✨ (I swear I’m not a narcissist and his is a joke)

I’m so sorry I told you like my whole life story. And sorry if some of it doesn’t make sense I did not proofread this.

Once again sorry this is so long I got carried away

So, I know by your username that it's quite clear you simp for Dream... but idk 'cause from your description it seems like you'd be a pretty good match with...

Technoblade!

While normally a man of not many words, when you go on engrossed tangents about Greek mythology he will be right there with you.

He likes that you've got training in the use of swords. It makes him feel more comfortable with the fact that he's not always at the cottage. And you could follow along with him on most his adventures if you wanted to with little difficulty too.

Your humor's a good balance to his usually dark jokes. Him, cracking jokes about cracking orphans. You, cracking jokes about cracking the code on why he kills orphans.

Techno isn't a stranger to sarcasm. He uses it quite frequently. Honestly, he'll likely find it funny. Endearing, even.

Also, since you speak spanish, you can tell him where the library is. Nobody told him where it was when he asked. "¡¿Donde esta la biblioteca!?

Please let your stubbornness not let you go with the flow in a way that betrays him. It'd break his heart. Stand by his side; so few people have.

#technoblade x reader #technoblade #dream smp #technoblade dream smp #dream smp technoblade #matchup

[garden-variety-gnome]

Pie, I've got some good news! You wanna know? [As she hops in place excitedly, the sound of rocks bouncing and hitting into each other can be heard]

Pirate looks at you he seems very sleepy and yawns.

🏴‍☠️ “y-yeah I wanna know, what is it.” He tilts his head to the side as he observes you.

#fnf ask blog #fnf rp #pirate!lemon #fnf pirate!lemon #pirate!lemon fnf #idk how to respond here eeee /neu #so imma just reblog it empty cause uh *shrug*

[garden-variety-gnome]

[She nods] I'm sure. Bertrum is special to me, so that's why in giving him to you.

I was thinking, back when we first met, you gave me a cutlass as a token of friendship. And I then realized that I haven't yet given you something like that. So I want to give you Bertrum.

Pie, I've got some good news! You wanna know? [As she hops in place excitedly, the sound of rocks bouncing and hitting into each other can be heard]

Pirate looks at you he seems very sleepy and yawns.

🏴‍☠️ “y-yeah I wanna know, what is it.” He tilts his head to the side as he observes you.

#pirate!lemon #fnf ask blog #fnf rp #fnf pirate!lemon #pirate!lemon fnf #bertrum the ammonite #oops accidentally used the wrong blog

[garden-variety-gnome]

Pie, I've got some good news! You wanna know? [As she hops in place excitedly, the sound of rocks bouncing and hitting into each other can be heard]

Pirate looks at you he seems very sleepy and yawns.

🏴‍☠️ “y-yeah I wanna know, what is it.” He tilts his head to the side as he observes you.

#fnf ask blog #pirate!lemon #fnf pirate!lemon #pirate!lemon fnf #fnf rp #bertrum the ammonite #oops wrong blog