gaysadshit

[gaysadshit]

I think I just want to fuck something up and be disappointing for something that I chose. An actual disappointing act that I made the active choice to do, rather than being disappointing for some bullshit like not acing a test

[gaysadshit]

"I can't like women, I'm just fetishising wlw and nblw, I'm not queer" Sorry to break it to you, me, but in order to fetishize wlw and nblw you need to like women.

#aha secret new option. I am a man

[gaysadshit]

Being a trans guy can feel like betraying my younger self. Because she worked so hard to not be seen as weak and show that girls could be just as rough and strong as the guys or even better. And now I am a guy, and me being incredible doesn’t feel like anything good or important anymore. And she would hate that; she would want us to keep being the best in the world. But I know she did it to prove that girls are strong; and now all her hard work has gone to making some guy she doesn’t know yet stronger and better. Did she put in all that work for no effect? Or was she able to leave the impression she needed to? All I can do is keep advocating for women

[gaysadshit]

Actually maybe I’m not weird and other people are

#I often feel insecure bc I can only manage first impressions w people and no further #but maybe that’s bc at first impressions people don’t try to act like my best friend #actually I don’t want play insults especially if you can’t handle me responding in kind #and I don’t want you demanding and using my computer w/out my permission #my best friend can do those things cause I know that if I say stop she will. leave me alone #I’m sorry I’m apparently your closest friend. you’re not mine you got attached too quickly #I feel like a dick saying that but it’s true #we’re not besties you’re my classmate-friend

[gaysadshit]

Hey trans guys you should put a make up beard on. Warning it may make you cry

#source: crying on my bathroom floor cause fuck. I want this so bad

[gaysadshit]

Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m really fucked up or extremely normal and overreacting

#like maybe I don’t have chronic pain and actually I’m fine. #ignore that I spent part of my childhood bed bound from pain #and my migraines and memory issues and nausea and- well they’re probably not related to head trauma #and my childhood ‘anger issues’ and sensitivity and need for headphones and my special thought processing methods aren’t #mental health symptoms for sure.

[gaysadshit]

Do you ever feel like you're running nowhere too quickly? I am standing still and yet my energy drains like I'm running a marathon. Maybe I am running and I'm just stuck on a treadmill. When can i get off? Am I still interesting and lovable because of my flaws instead of in spite of them if I do? I am scared that if I am not struggling, I am not lovable. Are my traits only worth it when I'm suffering?

#poetry #my writing #bad vibes

[gaysadshit]

im nb/a guy and maybe have a crush on one of my friends. however, i never have to come to terms with the maybe crush bc the friends i spend my most time w are very heteronormative and think im a girl and that all my Maybe Crush Behaviour is girls being girls. for example, whenever i bake anything i bake it with gluten free flour bc she has a gluten intolerance. they think im just being very kind and thoughtful in case she ever comes to hang out. when questioned abt it i have said quote "idk it would be awkward if she came over n i had baked smth she couldnt eat" liar liar pants on fire im trying to figure out if i wanna date this girl or be in a qpr

#queerplatonic #AM I ARO? IDK WHAT DO ROMANTIC FEELINGS FEEL LIKE???

[gaysadshit]

I hate my voice when I’m trying to be polite or charming it always makes me so dysphoric especially when whoever I’m talking to starts misgendering me immediately

[gaysadshit]

all my fucking leg joints hurt and every time i see a masculine boy with make up on i cry because sometimes i feel like i'll never get to be him

[gaysadshit]

Marie-Helene Bertino

[gaysadshit]

I think something people should realize is that characters don’t have to perfectly be in character all the time. God knows im not.

#the only consist thing about me is how many times I say god or holy as a non-christian

[gaysadshit]

Why do people I know keep like… getting crushes on me? Like I joke a lot about wanting people to like me but then as soon as someone tries to confess I’m just filled with this moment of “oh no no no now I have to decline them how do I do this good how-“

#feels like a weird brag but my friend just told me they like me after a day of spending time together and I had to be like hey…. #I don’t like you like that but I would like to still be friends #and it’s like I’m glad they tell me! cause communication is important and i preach that more than anyone in my friend group but it is oh so #awkward sometimes

[gaysadshit]

When you take 30 min break to recover from your mom talking shit about you and then she bursts into your room as you're about to get started on a school project complaining and yelling about how she got an email you already responded to and cced her about you not uploading it. shes fucking acting like it's the end of the world, i thought adults were supposed to realize that high school isn't everything and not have a panic attack at their fucking kid being nearly done with a project

[gaysadshit]

i hate my dad! :) i show one bit of emotion about me being anything other than perfectly happy and he goes "behave, be nice to your parents." fuck you! :D im tired and you keep entering my room and talkign even though i made it clear i cant fucking handle conversation right now. i said okay somewhat sarcastically and he decided to be a dick and when you guys came over i asked if they could be a lil quiet in the living room cause if i have to be quiet when they have meetings or parties and shit they can be quiet too! but no! i cant ask them to do shit, my dad acts like im kicking him out of the living room on the weekend like some dickwad kid when i just give his own suggestion of going upstairs right back to him! i dont have a fucking table in the upstairs room! there is however a specifically designed sofa bed and tv you fucking asshole. and when i explain that, no, im not trying to kick him out im just asking if he can fucking turn the volume of the tv down and offering the upstairs room was a joke to show how both of us dont wanna do that he calls me patronizing and says im not allowed to take that tone with him and i dont know what fucking tone im using thats making him so upset i just truly dont fucking understand

#great good now im crying this is the first time ive been able to cry in weeks #swearing #rant #tw my dad #lmao

[gaysadshit]

why do some people like...... censor the tag nsfw..... u know that people cant actually filter nsfw stuff like that right?

#i censor the tag cause amazingly enough i dont want nsfw stuff on my dash while im at work #filter the tag* #cause its not safe for work #amazingly enough

[gaysadshit]

What's my dream job? Well, as a kid, it was always princess, when I broke my arm my mom had to cut a princess costume's arm off so i could wear it. And then it became writer when I was obsessed with books, I adored wings of fire and the secret series. And then it was a baker, a well known baker who's famous for delicious cakes and pastries. And now, at the end of school, nearly in tears thinking about how I have summer school and a project to complete over the summer, I want to live in a small town and maybe work at a local library or bakery and just breathe.