gremlinqueensupreme

[gremlinqueensupreme]

“I want you to know that I would stick with you through thick and thin, but if you ever shit on the cats, I will have to rethink our marriage. I’m just letting you know where it boundaries are.”

-My Husband

For the record, shitting on the cats has never been something I’ve considered before he brought it up….

#it would be healthy communication if it wasn’t such an attack

[gremlinqueensupreme]

I don’t know what this is. I’m afraid to know what this is. It appeared. I saw it only once. Someone must have purchased it, to which I ask: why???

#gnome #gnome post #cymbals #gnome with a cymbal ass

[gremlinqueensupreme]

I saw some really excellent moss recently.

#pnw #columbia gorge #moss #mosscore #ferny boys #ferns

[gremlinqueensupreme]

I found this website where you can make medieval-style memes.

[gremlinqueensupreme]

“Are you posting that on tumblr? Watch yourself, I’m gonna make a “shit my wife says xanga”!

How do you put a 30+ year old man down for a nap? I think he needs one.

“Sometimes, a stopped clock is like a banana and leave.”

- My Husband, forgetting his point halfway through his sentence

#this man needs a nap #xanga

[gremlinqueensupreme]

“Sometimes, a stopped clock is like a banana and leave.”

- My Husband, forgetting his point halfway through his sentence

#shit my husband says

[gremlinqueensupreme]

I’m currently dealing with a coworker from hell, so here’s some performance reviews about them that I will never ever get to use:

There is an awe-inspiring chasm between their confidence and competence.

They validate all stereotypes of those who remain at an organization after it experiences a brain-drain.

It’s unclear whether they have ever met another individual with their (very common) job title. Nor is it clear they would recognize that individual as having the same job.

I would not trust them to create a lost dog flyer without supervision.

Asking them for information is like pulling teeth from a hummingbird.

I have felt less fear watching horror movies than when faced with their file organization.

They have made an art of whatever the opposite of collaboration is.

Has the incredible ability to create designs that instantly induce headaches.

#as a secretly mean person #I deserve more praise for my exceptional self control #born in the wrong generation #I should have been a king’s jester #can hr grant someone jester’s privilege?

[gremlinqueensupreme]

no caption needed

[gremlinqueensupreme]

I’m going to bed now

Not because I’m tired but

Because I really

Want this conversation to be over

- Accidental poetry from my husband, who has way too much patience for my bullshit.

#if you munch butt at the tillamook factory #you could have an aged cheddar after an ass chomping

[gremlinqueensupreme]

I just asked the meeting I was leading “Does anyone have any items to hop on for topic talking?” so please excuse me while I find a cave to curl up and die in.

#I am my own glass ceiling #why am i like this #I’m just so dumb today #I’m that business btch #the business dumb btch

[gremlinqueensupreme]

Just sang the entirety of Chop Suey! by System of a Down like Alexis Rose from Schitt’s Creek and it might be the most cursed thing I’ve ever done.

#it was also hilarious #it was more cursed than when I used to sing pop songs like Gregorian chants #system of a down #alexis rose #schitts creek #chop suey #cursed singing is best singing #cursed

[gremlinqueensupreme]

Today I learned what it means to “chip” in golf. I learned by bouncing a golf ball off a pile of wood, over the decorative metal tee cutouts, and into an employees only hallway. The way I hit it is called a “chip.” Today I learned.

I also aggressively lost the putt putt game, but that’s not the point here.

#putt putt #themed mini golf should be as common as Starbucks #who allowed me to have a club #the puttery Chicago #kiss my putt

[gremlinqueensupreme]

Uptown Girl is an underrated mosh pit song.

[gremlinqueensupreme]

You know you’re getting old when you tweak your goddamn neck while washing your hair. Like yeah, wash day is kinda intense. But it feels anti-black for my neck to be doing this to me

[gremlinqueensupreme]

A mark on your forehead identifies the god you must worship to stay alive, usually by joining its local church or temple. Your mark is unknown, meaning an old, forgotten god sponsored you. To survive, you must either find an old temple to worship at, or do the arduous task of building a new one

[gremlinqueensupreme]

a little comic about healing.

[gremlinqueensupreme]

My concept is a masterpiece. I need someone with more art skills to zhuzh this up.

Portland is getting a baseball team. Among my top choice for names: the Portland Volcanoes. (You can see 4 from the city, not counting cindercones.)

Can you imagine the mascot??? It’s just Mt. Hood. We’d call him Hoody. He would just be a mountain with two skinny legs coming from the bottom and a single lava eye coming out of the top. It would be glorious.

I need someone who can do art to mock this up.