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hdjihye · 1 year
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hdsungho​:
“Hm. I’ve heard that before.” Sungho was full of brash words and an optimistic view that could kill. He took no pleasure in being humble, so why try or force an action foreign to him. There was a connection there with Jihye, one that for both their sakes, doesn’t tempt Sungho to deepen their subtle chemistry. It’s nothing to fret over, he told himself, and if anything he was sure she hated him at times. He could sense the reluctance, in himself and her, how she rejected his flirtatious remark mid-way, almost ignoring his attention. It left him madly confused and by now, he should leave things well enough alone.
He listened on and his eyes opened wide over the small excitement he felt. ”Good news? Tell me more.” He asked curiously, part of him content with knowing just that; seeing her happy was a sight to see. Sungho could gaze at her in amazement for hours. “And yeah, how did you know? I’m pretty pumped to get started, but pretty nervous, all the same. It’s the first project coming from Behigh and there’s… A lot of pressure to represent them well. You know how it is,” the words were naturally said, yet apprehensive to articulate all that he was feeling at the moment. 
“Enough about me, though. I want to hear what got you in such a good mood. Honestly, it’s the first time I’ve seen you like this.” Every trainee had their own poker face, but every blue moon, good news was harder to hide, and he spotted them a few times. After a passing evaluation or receiving projects, like recently. “It suits you.” 
“It’s not my fault she keeps ditching me to hang out with some boy,” she said, rolling her eyes. Though it came from a place of truth, Jihye did feel a bit bad saying it right now; her friend hadn’t done that this time, so the criticism wasn’t warranted, just there to cover Jihye’s tracks. Still, her good mood did betray her facial expressions, a somewhat full smile starting to form.
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“I... can’t tell you much more,” she admitted, though her expression was coy. There was something a little bit empowering about having this information that he didn’t. But honestly, she did want to share more with him. She wouldn’t be here if she didn’t want to let him into her life, at least a little, and no matter how much she hated herself for it. “But... maybe you’re smart enough to figure it out, I don’t know.” She couldn’t compliment him directly; she couldn’t say that she knew he was smart enough to figure it out. But she couldn’t add to his ego.
She shrugged, a cocky smirk growing on her face. “I hear things, then connected some dots, wasn’t that hard,” she gloated, though as he spoke, her arrogant expression faded into something with a bit more understanding. She nodded, completely knowing where he was coming from. It was how she felt about Starlight before her inevitable move to Kiss. Now, she felt that way about her new studio, the studio that truly believed in her.
Honestly, it’s the first time I’ve seen you like this. It suits you. There he went again, saying these things that brought an unwelcome heat to her cheeks and forcing her heart to pick up speed slightly. She cleared her throat, not trusting her voice to remain normal after that comment. “Well,” she said, tilting her head and looking up at him. “Let’s just say... we’re both on our way to something big.” She felt another comment manifesting on her tongue before she could stop it, saying “I’ll watch out for you.” Why did she say that? She sounded way too interested. And the worst part? She wasn’t lying; she knew she would be watching the show when she could, rooting for him to debut. And once again, the fact that he was doing this to her made her sick.
She then realized she wasn’t going to be seeing him around at all for... well, for however long these sorts of shows lasted, Jihye never watched those programs before. The hint of a smile that was on her face before faded into a slightly worried expression before she forced back on the mask of indifference. She crossed her arms before saying “So you’ll be gone for a while, huh?” She didn’t say anything for a moment before making an impulsive decision. “Give me your phone.”
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hdjihye · 1 year
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hdaerin​:
Leadership was not something that Aerin ever saw herself as capable of. In fact, she tried her hardest to fade into the background when the roles were being handed out for the debut preparations – avoiding eye contact like a child in class afraid of being called on. It didn’t help clearly and here she was – leader and in charge of choreography. Going from no responsibility to nearly the largest amount of responsibility left her brain spinning. It didn’t help she had to spend her days not only working the choreo and learning the lyrics, but also ducking and dodging those hounding her about what positions they did or didn’t deserve.
Unfortunately, she couldn’t dodge Jihye. The girl was undeniably talented and in Aerin’s opinion, more than capable of being the leader in her place. Why the role didn’t go to her had Aerin perplexed, but she tried to gather her confidence and put on a neutral face that betrayed the chaos in her heart.
“Ah, hello, Jihye-ssi. I figured you’d ask for that position. I’ve heard you sing, you’re wonderful,” Starting off as complimentary as possible, Aerin tried to calm herself and find her nerve. If they thought she was the best choice for leader, she’d have to act like it. “i understand vocals are part of your strengths, however before I give you that position I want to know you can pull off a good performance.”
Aerin cleared her throat and straighten her back, her gaze growing intense. “My choreography won’t be easy, and I don’t plan on making your parts simple. I want to know you can sing well even when you’re following the choreo.” There wasn’t a lot that Aerin was confident in, but her dancing and her ability to put on a show was absolutely the biggest things. She would never make a performance simple, and undermine her ability to accommodate someone else’s lack of talent. Jihye would not be an exception.
Jihye didn’t envy Aerin in this position of power. Sure, Jihye felt like she would do a good job if their roles were reversed, but that didn’t mean she really wanted to do it herself. She knew she wasn’t the most liked trainee around, and though she hoped she was well respected, those two things often went hand in hand. Plus, she was the new kid around here; the girl who was plucked from Starlight to debut with Kiss. She didn’t have the seniority to really lead these girls, at least in her opinion. Still, if they decided to change up the positions before their debut, Jihye would do well at it, just like most things she did.
Aerin seemed to be taking her position as leader seriously, and Jihye had to admit, she respected it, even respecting Aerin a bit more for it. The compliment the other gave her was nice, and deserved, but Jihye knew that often, compliments preceded either criticisms or just things that the receiver didn’t want to hear; it had happened to Jihye enough times for her to recognize the pattern.
“Admittedly, I’m not the best dancer in the group,” she said, even that bit of humility not feeling great coming out of her mouth. “But I pride myself on my vocals being stable even when I am dancing rigorously.” A look of determination was in her cat like eyes, showing how hard she was going to work at this. “I promise, I will not disappoint you. I am going to work hard to make sure I am not a weak link in dancing. I will do enough to where we can all shine in what we do.” She hated having to advocate for herself like this when she believed her skills spoke for themselves, but she knew she had to; she hadn’t debuted yet, she still had a lot to prove.
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hdjihye · 1 year
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Florence and the Machine, from “Mother”
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hdjihye · 1 year
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hdjihye · 1 year
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Faded
Words: 522
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Jihye was nervous. Normally, she knew how her evaluations would go. “Excellent vocals and visuals, but your dancing needs improvement.” It was like clockwork. She was always working on improving her dancing, but it was never her favorite part of training; she just never wanted someone to compare her moves to her sisters in any way. But now, with debut just over the horizon, she wanted them to say something different. She wanted them to say she was perfect, that she had finally achieved the expectations they had set for her and she for herself. She knew there was no way in hell that was going to happen, but she was doing her best to manifest it as she stood, heavily breathing after the performance.
“Your vocals were good and stable, as we expected from you,” they began. She gave a polite smile, glad that she was at least getting that consistent feedback.
“Thank you,” she said with a slight bow, but she was mentally preparing for the criticism she knew was coming.
“Your visuals are usually great, but your dancing left a lot to be desired.” Jihye had to physically resist rolling her eyes. Of course her dancing left a lot to be desired; she wasn’t a dancer. But she had been trying for years. It was just a fact, her dancing was never going to be as strong as her vocals were, wasn’t that enough for them? For her to sing her ass off with every performance?
“And when it wasn’t your turn to sing, you faded into the background.”
Her eyes widened for a moment at that, surprise too strong for her to hide it completely, though she still didn’t have a huge outward reaction. Inwardly, she was freaking out.
Isn’t that what I’m supposed to do? Give others a chance to shine and not steal the spotlight?
She was doing her best to be a team player, and now she was being told that wasn’t her best course of action? It was a good thing Jihye had an excellent poker face because she was fuming. What was she supposed to do, then?
“I’ll do my best to stand out next time,” she assured them, determination clear in her eyes. “You won’t be able to take your eyes off of me.” An arrogant thing to say? Potentially, but what else was she supposed to say? She wanted to prove she was ready for debut, so she told them what she thought they wanted to hear.
“But we did want to commend you on the lyrics. They fit the concept and tone of the song perfectly, and we’ll be looking to you for more in the future.”
Alright, that did calm her down significantly. At least she was getting recognized for a skill that she did feel she was strong in but never got the chance to show it off. She bowed in thanks again before they moved on to the next candidate. Jihye had a lot to process, but she knew one thing for certain.
She would get better at dancing if it was the last thing she did.
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hdjihye · 1 year
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@hdaerin​
Jihye was a girl who knew what she wanted. She had been ambitious and goal oriented for years, and now, with debut in sight, there wasn’t anything standing in her way.
Except for maybe Aerin.
Aerin was a bit of an enigma to Jihye. Not that she herself was a difficult person to understand, but Jihye just couldn’t figure out how she felt about the other. There was a bit of admiration but also trepidation, an uncertainty in the other’s abilities. But, now that Aerin was designated leader for the time being and was calling the shots for positions, Jihye had a bit of self humbling to do.
Play nice. Those words had been on repeat in her head since she knew debut preparations were starting for her. The last thing she needed to do right now was make enemies. well, make more enemies than she had already. She took a deep breath, swallowed her pride, and approached her “leader”.
“Hello,” she said, a bit of formality in her tone that wasn’t there the last time they spoke. “I know this is your choice what positions we all receive, but I’d like to advocate for myself to be the main vocalist and visual.” She held herself with her shoulders back, confident, but kept her chin level, not arrogantly. “My vocals and visuals are where my strengths lie, like you with your dancing and performing.” Jihye hoped a compliment would help her cause, especially with how rare Kim Jihye compliments were.
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hdjihye · 1 year
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hwanhd​:
“oh shit, really?” hwan remarks casually though with a slight apologetic tone, scrambling to get to his phone where they could check on the room booking to see if he had truly made a mistake. perhaps he had done so, but he was sure that he had put his name down for this exact recording studio and hour and normally no one else would have it taken unless there had been a mix-up or a sort of glitch that overlapped or canceled his reservation.
just as he was about to make his way out, the female trainee’s question stop him from doing so. hwan turns to look at the trainee, scratches his head for a bit before answer. “uh, yeah- i’m a native. born and raised in new york” he answers in korean. there is an expression that he sees from the latter; one that shows ‘i need help’.
he continues to hear jihye out as mentions about a win-win situation. “sure, i’ll help you out with it.” hwan accepts the offer easily. he’s got his mother language down at the palm of his hand and it looked like the other trainee is having a hard time that hwan could not turn a blind eye away. he welcomes himself into the studio, now smiling. “apologies accepted! i’m sorry too for the mix up. i’m hwan!” he introduces himself and offers a hand out before retracting it. perhaps not everyone is into handshake as he is―
“so uh, what sort of english words are you looking into adding?”
She let him realize on his own that the room was taken, but didn’t rub it in. Two words had plagued Jihye’s thoughts ever since she got news of her potential debut; play nice. It was so difficult when she dealt with idiots and assholes on a daily basis, but she had been doing her best, and didn’t that count for something?
Her eyes sparkled a little. A native english speaker? What better way to spice up her song than with some English that actually made sense? Obviously, she didn’t care about if the English made sense in the kpop she had heard before, but now? When it was her ass on the line? She didn’t want there to be anything in the song that could be mocked or ridiculed online. She tried to keep her face neutral, but her eyes were begging him to stay, to help her out of her predicament. Thankfully, he seemed to be able to read it in her eyes. That, or he was just way nicer of a person than she was; both equal possibilities in her mind.
Jihye’s head tilted a bit at his “apology accepted” line. She didn’t say sorry, but honestly, at this point, she was so desperate for his help and was so worried she would scare him off that she didn’t think it would be a good idea to correct him. She looked down at his hand before he took it back, arching an eyebrow at him. This guy was weird, but maybe all Americans were a little awkward; she had only even been to the united states once, and she was eight.
“Jihye,” she introduced with a slight bow of her head before his question caught her off guard. Saying not bad English wasn’t exactly a good answer, was it? “I need... memorable words and phrases,” she finally decided on. “I have this one part that’s clearly going to the main vocal, and the melody of it is just screaming ‘english phrase’.” She sighed before handing him the lyrics she had already written. “I’ll let you listen to the song and I’ll point out the part I mean.” She pressed play before getting to that melodic line that had been torturing her for hours. “Here, this one.”
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hdjihye · 1 year
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hdjihye · 1 year
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hwanhd​:
there is an unspoken rule that the studio room at the end of the upper floor, the one with the exit sign right opposite to it that leads to the stairs is one of hwan’s favorite recording studio. it’s also the one that people don’t normally use since most, if not all the trainees would know that the raven haired kiss studios’ trainee has basically become a ghost for the said booth. it goes without saying that hwan makes reservation for it so much that people normally don’t bother booking it anymore and while he cannot claim for the booth to be hwna’s, it’s generally a room that people avoid booking when there are other studios available. in all greatness, hydra’s building truly provides limitless growth at the availability of rooms that any trainees could book.
unfortunately for hwan, he sees the ‘on air’ sign light up; signaling its usage. he grimaces and forms a pout out of habit; a trait that’s often displayed when things don’t work in his favor. it’s a rare sight but not uncommon to those who are particularly close to him.
walking closer towards the direction of his favorite studio, making a mental thought rundown if he has booked the slot of the studio but is unsure if he truly had done so, he peeps in to see an unfamiliar figure. hwan could not help but feel a bit disappointed that it wasn’t minseon who had been in the studio while knowing that his best friend had been away for hyde academy. there would be no way the only person whose company he had enjoyed being in the same studio, would physically be there. they say that heart grows fonder in the absence of someone, and perhaps those words are in a way, painfully true.
his left hand gripping the music sheet print outs of his group’s demo song with scribbled wordings of his late night attempts in writing lyrics from his dorm feels heavy in his hand. there is no other way to work with music if he isn’t in his favorite studio and hence hwan desperately needs the room to avoid any further delays of the final product before he presents it to the other boys. his shoulder feels heavy too with the newfound responsibilities laid on him. being a leader, a songwriter and a choreographer feels all too much on his plate that he wonders if he would end up failing his teammates instead.
instead of letting negative thoughts run through his head rent free, he knocks on the door with his free hand. “i’m sorry,” he starts in english out of habit as he turns the knob of the studio door. “i believe-” he looks up in eye contact to the stranger before switching his language, “i believe i have the studio booked for the hour until midnight?”
Jihye’s eyes narrowed at the other, trying to remember his name. Did it start with an h? Hoetaek? Hwisung? She had seen him around and definitely heard his name before, but had never spoken to him in her life. So the fact that this random guy was interrupting her time that she was already struggling was supremely annoying. Sure, he knocked, but what if she was recording something amazing and he just ruined it? He needed to learn to be patient or, at least, learn to not be an idiot and interrupt when it wasn’t his turn.
“Impossible, since I reserved it hours ago, maybe learn how to read next time,” she said, venom dripping from her words. She shook her head, looking back down at her lyrics before groaning. “And now, whatever momentum I had is gone, thanks for that.” She had no momentum; she was stuck, and she knew it. She had like three-fourths of a song that desperately needed English and she was...
Wait. “I’m sorry.” That was what he instinctively said when he walked in. Was he...?
“Are you good at English?” she asked bluntly, hating how she was basically about to ask for help from a stranger, but at this point? She was desperate. Plus, if he was here to work alone, maybe he had some songwriting talents as well.
She then realized that maybe she was being a bit harsh. She was about to debut; now was not the time for making enemies. “I... look, I’m... I reserved this room, but you can use it if you really want to... if you help me add some English to this song. I’m... I’m stuck.” She loathed asking for help, but maybe this bit of vulnerability would make up for her less-than-warm-welcome when he walked in; she sure as shit wasn’t saying “sorry.”
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hdjihye · 1 year
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Our Men Do Not Belong to Us, Warsan Shire
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hdjihye · 1 year
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Henry James, from “The Portrait Of A Lady”
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hdjihye · 1 year
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hdjihye · 1 year
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@hwanhd​
Jihye had so much pressure on her right now, and usually, she was used to it. The pressure her parents put on her every day to be “the best she can be” (aka living up to their expectations) was already incredibly strong, so what was a little more with being in charge of songwriting this song to test a concept for her debut?
It wasn’t a “little” more. It was a lot. She was finally getting a chance to show what she was great at, to show what she had been working on for years. She had been saying for years how she just needed an opportunity to shine and now, she had it. But now, she had to prove that her talk hadn’t just been that, only talk. She had to prove her skills, and that was slightly terrifying.
She had been listening to the song non-stop since the first time, trying to match lyrics to the melody. She had been struggling in the beginning, just trying to fit her previously written lyrics to the sound to no avail, so she knew she had to start from scratch. 
At first, that was also scary, because what if she couldn’t come up with anything better than what she already thought of and perfected before? She took a break, letting her mind wander for the shortest of moments and that’s when inspiration struck.
She could write about him.
She hated how her mind went to him in times like this, but he did make her feel special when no one else could. Sure, she knew that he probably did that to everyone he ever came across, but that didn’t stop her from feeling that way (unfortunately). But her feelings for him were complicated. There was annoyance, there was infatuation, there was everything in between. and what better thing to write about? She even came up with the song title, “Complicated”. It worked perfectly to express the feelings in the song, but it was also a subtle reference to Avril Lavigne, a fun and petty dig at Ahri’s comments.
She had about half of this song written, and she was proud of what she had, but it was missing something, and she knew exactly what it was; English. Her English was terrible, and she knew it, but almost all kpop songs at this point had some English in them. Her minimal knowledge from other song lyrics weren’t going to cut it. She was stressing about this in the studio when the door opened and her thoughts were rudely interrupted.
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hdjihye · 1 year
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hdjihye · 1 year
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doyeonhd​:
for someone who is an introvert, doyeon can be chatty at times that sometimes comes off unwarranted. she knows not everyone enjoys any conversation but who knows, perhaps jihye would be her potential debut colleague for whatever universe would align - or well, in reality if ever hydra has plans for it. the raven haired isn’t sure if she would ever make friends with any of her fellow trainees or possible debut mates, but it doesn’t hurt to try so the very least, they don’t be enemies and eventually live their contractual life in misery. call her a pessimist if you will. can you blame her if she has been reading about all the internal conflicts and bullying that happens within the team?
“that’s long,” she remarks simply over the comment made on jihye’s trainee years. she skips in her step, something she does out of habit and sometimes even her own family member finds it annoying to keep up with her pace. “i’ve only been here a couple days over but it’s definitely my first day loitering around.” she remarks. for most truth, she’s been housing herself in the dance studio, working on her dance movements. she’s not main dancer material, but perhaps if she had worked hard, it would improve little by little.
“so why did you pick hydra..?” doyeon ask curiously; a part of her wonders if jihye had wanted to follow her sister’s footstep since tag was within the hydra label while the other part of her knows jihye had probably wanted to be better.
That’s long. Jihye agreed, but thought it was pretty rude for her to say it out loud. Jihye knew she was ready to debut a long time ago, but the company she was in clearly didn’t see her that way until she auditioned for someone else. So maybe it was a little long, but if she needed to wait this long for the perfect debut to come around, then it was worth it.
Plus, she could name like five other trainees off the top of her head who had been training for longer without any hope, so this girl could chill with the judgement. But, Jihye was still trying to play nice, and maybe the other was just stupid and didn’t realize how the comment could come across. It was possible; not everyone was as smart as Jihye was.
“It’ll be worth it when I debut,” she replied, simply as well, flipping a strand of silver over her shoulder. Then, at her question, she shook her head with a shrug. “They’re the best, right? All the branches have something to offer, and their success rate is very clear.” She didn’t want to add that it was more likely that she was going to get in because of her family tree. She barely knew this girl, even if she knew who she was. “What about you?” It was only polite to reciprocate the question, she supposed.
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hdjihye · 1 year
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