heartate

[heartate]

i have a headcanon to write about ahri's feeding habits... sort of. it's more to do with her seeing and reliving people's feelings in the moment or of the past, and the memories, and expanding on the concept of that

#sdkjkjdscb wahhhhhh im just so #depressed over losing all my files LOL #i need to write some discussion boards today #they're not due til next sunday but i'd rather do them now and just chill #ooc.

[heartate]

me realizing i. lost. all of my edits. for all of my muses. all the icon bases. my. images that i was gonna. use. to make new icons eventually. ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh my god my library of alexandria burned in like 10 seconds im. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

#I WILL KRILL MYSELFFFFFFFFF LMAOOOOOOO #help #what do i DO #my fucking #ahri border #ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh #tbd. #ooc.

[heartate]

some days, when the tranquility of peace washes softly over her skin, it all still doesn't feel real. she floats above the city in a cloud miles up in the sky between the heavens' planes, legs dangling over the edge, so carefree, the vision of a woman who has it all — and she does. in spite of everything life has thrown at her, ahri has built an empire, and she lays comfortably in a bed as soft as the clouds holding her throne, right beside a man who embodies the sun into flesh and bone and bleeds sunlight so intoxicating she thought she could die beneath the warmth of his gaze. to think that this is the live she has been so graciously allowed to live . . . it's dizzying.

ahri hasn't taken her eyes off of him, drinking in the depth of those deep ocean blues as if she's seeing them for the first time. mesmerizingly hypnotic, she thinks, and she decides, just right then, that it's the most beautiful color she's ever seen in all the years she's been destined to tread upon the earth. her smile hasn't slipped for even a moment, either, and though she's drunk in her admiration, she's listening quite carefully and huffs out a breath of amusement. " big names, huh? " ahri repeats, mirroring his excitement and giving a flick of her ears. " are they a surprise? " a low hum murmurs in the base of her throat, and she sweetly adds, " i can't wait to meet everyone and see what they've done. "

she presses comfortably against ezreal's arm and draws an arm over to gingerly cup his face. ahri rubs her thumb against his cheek, looking as content as she's ever been. surprise flickers briefly into her eyes at his admission, but they soften with a flood of warmth and adoration. leaning up, ahri's feather-soft lips meet ezreal's with urgency, finding that temperance doesn't at all suit her, especially not in this moment when all she wants is to melt into his embrace. when she finally pulls back, her voice is a lush whisper as she says, " there's not a single person in this whole world i'd rather be with, you know. "

☆ — When his previous record fell through, leaving him out in the rain after the flop of his album, Ezreal was afraid that was it. He was afraid of slipping into obscurity again, of being the kind of person where people ask 'Remember him? Where did he go?' The thought of being cast away like so many times before was enough to bring startled tears to his eyes. The anxiety was stifling, choking him, but then he met Sett and as they talked, Ezreal's passion sparked again. Now, lying with the Ahri combing her fingers through his hair, it's hard to imagine he ever felt such despair.

He's on top of the world, and Ahri is right there with him.

Ezreal grins, sliding an arm beneath her head, like he's more comfortable than her perfect pillows. "Well, between me and Kayn, nothing about this party's gonna be boring. But K'Sante and Lio are the ones in charge of decoration. Apparently they don't trust the rest of us..." A roll of his eyes, but Ezreal's grinning, his fondness for his bandmates unmistakable. "So I'm gonna show up later, let them do all the annoying work. Between the six of us, we've got some pretty good connections, so there'll be a lot of big names there, but I think you'll be stealing the show..."

A pause, where he looks over at Ahri, seeming to really see her for the first time since he woke up, drinking in the sight of her beside him, smiling at him, believing in him. "I can't wait for you to meet everyone. Kayn's gonna pee himself when he sees you." And then, more serious, "I'm really glad you're here with me. I mean — not just, in bed, though that's nice too, but like — you know. With me with me."

#essence flux primed #remember when you linked this to me and i said 'im drafting this immediately' #it turns out it was not in my drafts #and it got lost #JKB DSKJBCS #ic. #rp. #verse. → kda.

[heartate]

i made miss jude duarte in xiv

#what if i wrote her. what then. #im so eepy #i was trying to write another reply but #head hurt #skjcdbds #ooc. #tbd.

[heartate]

#nsfw cw #umbane #hey #JSBJBCKSD #♡ : my eternal longing‚ would you let me touch your soul‚ forever ? ( kayn : umbane. )

[heartate]

if i ever find free time i need to make a new promo for morgana bc i’m getting bored of the one i have but i’m lazyyyyyyyy

follow her tho bc i have so much muse for morg rn @diveyne

#ooc. #tbd. #she’s my dramatic theatrical angel wife and i get to wax poetic and write dramatically #i love her

[heartate]

to see the world in color is a gift that nearly every soul upon runeterra and beyond possessed, but hwei . . . it goes beyond the simple colors of someone's hair and the way it dulls beneath shadow and brightens beneath the sun's attention, greater even than the shimmering hues that shift and wane in the depths of a person's irises. their world is a vivid masterpiece stricken by an unimaginable wash of color upon canvas to degrees ahri couldn't even begin to fathom, though she certainly tries. the way hwei speaks of their gift is reminiscent of the way she can sense the emanation of someone's auras, the palpable feeling of their joy and their fear and their anguish ripe beneath her delicate fingers. in consuming the very essence that runs through someone's veins, however, ahri succumbs to a similar experience, still, yet inexplicably and undoubtedly different. she could feel them, hear them, relive memories as though they were unfolding in the present, and most of all, she learns the etchings of their souls, the intimacy of each stitch sewn into seams that tether body and spirit.

though hwei could not see the inkblots of his own being, perhaps one day ahri could tell him. an unequivocally dangerous thing, a tempting thing, a burning flame that draws in the moth aching for the familiar haunts of comfort in the descent of the moon come the rise of the sun. ahri minds her tongue and threads the silence between her teeth, keeping her fallen gaze drawn to the ground. it's not an offer she should make lightly, no matter how steady her hands may be, no matter how many decades it has been since she buried the remains of gluttony and avarice into a field long lost and razed with salt and fire. the tips of ahri's ears wiggle, attentive, curious. she's always listening keenly, leaving her honey-gold eyes glistening as a smile pulls over her rose petal lips. " change isn't always so awful, " ahri says at long last, smiling bright as she allows herself to meet hwei's eyes. she wonders if they could see the centuries of history, the carnal desires to consume and devour, tempered by the rot of tragedy and the despair of decay. absentmindedly toying with her tails, her gaze wanders as she once again begins to scrutinize the budding wildflowers yearning for reach between the grass and stone. " if you ask me, i think any version of yourself would turn out lovely. i just get that sense from you. "

she can't help the bells of laughter chiming bright in her throat, grinning so wide that when her lips stretch and lift, her canines poke softly into the skin of her mouth. " i guess i just have one of those personalities, you know? " ahri teases, gently shaking her head while her hands fall still in her lap. " and, you're incredibly easy to listen to. " for a moment, she's silent and stares down at the sharp pointed tips of her claws. " you remind me a little of someone i once knew. you're vastly different people, but you share the same intoxicating passion for art. it's easy to fall into. please, you hardly need to be sorry! really, i enjoy listening to what you have to share. "

Her sheepish smile is met by one of their own; Hwei isn't the type to share their visions with just anyone. Too many times were they told to tamp down their own powers, to curb what made them unique. After a while, it's impossible not to take it to heart. But Ahri is easy to talk to, and Hwei finds themself talking too much (and yet it doesn't feel like too much when it falls upon eager ears). "Yes," Hwei responds eager, earnest behind all the hesitation. And then, at her next question, Hwei's eyebrows pull together and they look almost sorrowful. "No, I can't. I should like to, though. It might give me insight into my own self." They're wistful, dreamlike, ever lost in thought. "Fitting, isn't it? I can tell so much about others at a glance, but nothing about myself. All of that, I have to figure out myself."

Hwei wonders how much of their own portrait is joy, how much is peace or pain. Is there kindness at its very center, like Ahri's? Or has Jhin twisted them right to their core? The thought makes them ache, all the way down to their marrow, eyes turning a deep, tormented purple. Still, the smile on their face is not so far from bliss. The emotions that Jhin evokes in them are fascinating. Devastating. "Though I suppose that seeing my own colours would only make me want to change them. As an artist, I am never satisfied, and if I were confronted by something I was unhappy with every time I saw myself, then..." There's something sharp in Hwei's smile then, something bitter. "I would learn to hate myself, or seek to change myself irrevocably. Neither of which would be productive uses of my time."

"... No, as much as it pains me, I think it's better that I cannot see myself. All the better for me to sink into the background. The artist should not distract from the art, after all. Unless they are part of the art which, so far, I have no interest in." Brushing the hair out of their eyes, Hwei laughs a little. "I admire artists who can put themselves in their art, but each time I try, I end up in black and white while the rest of the painting is in full colour. What does it mean, I wonder?" Their hand comes up to roll their bright pink earring between their fingers, contemplating that which they have contemplated so many times before. "Ah, I'm sorry. I'm rambling again. You're so easy to talk to. It's dangerous."

#chaospirals #ic. #rp. #verse. → main.

[heartate]

i'm the girl you're thinking about, the one thing you can't live without. yeah, i'm the girl you've been waiting for — i'll have you down on your knees, i'll have you begging for more. she - devil, blossoming in sin, bleeding temptation.

# desiren, evelynn of riot's league of legends, written by rina since 2020.

©

#twirls my hair #p. #sp.

[heartate]

literally if i'm not the prettiest girl jarvy's ever seen in his life then what's the point of anything

#i am not for the male gaze unless you're seth jarvis #ooc.

[heartate]

ⅰ.⠀⠀someone asked me what⠀⠀ 𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐒 ⠀⠀and all i could think of were the stars on the ⠀⠀tip of your tongue, the ⠀⠀flowers sprouting from your mouth,⠀⠀ the roots entwined in the ⠀⠀gaps between your fingers, the ocean ⠀⠀𝐄𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄​​​​​​​ ⠀⠀of your ribcage. 

ⅱ.⠀⠀ahri,⠀⠀written  so  lovingly,⠀⠀so  affectionately by ⠀⠀kaeri.⠀⠀since 2O15.⠀⠀follows post-ruined king in-universe,⠀⠀&⠀⠀otherwise known as 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐊𝐔𝐌𝐈𝐇𝐎:⠀⠀a beast embodied with ethereal beauty,⠀⠀spun from korean mythos,⠀⠀fond of cannibalism,⠀⠀in the sense of self and yours. 

#MISS KAERIIIIO LET’S FUCKING GOOOOOOOO BELOVED AHRI OOMF #QUEEN OF AHRI AHRI OF ALL TIME #p.

[heartate]

i finally finished reading the atlas six and i have so much to say like i think i could write a 30 page paper about it seamlessly without tiring or pause because there are not enough words that would suffice the summation of what i felt reading this book or the way it made my mind churn but.

first of all, the thing i've been saying from like, the first quarter of the book: i am in love with olivie blake's writing style. it's so poetic and yet informative and deliciously thought provoking that gets all the little gears and cogs in my brain working overtime as i try to wrap my mind around not only simple physics but astrophysics and cosmology and everything in between. she has such a way with descriptors and these juicy little adjectives that paint the society so vividly, but also that of everyone's faces, the way they look, the expressions they make, the things they feel, the thoughts that they think. her writing is intensely captivating in such an enjoyable way that's gripping with these nuggets of humor peppered here and there.

i've never been a large fan of multi-pov stories, really, but the way the atlas six demonstrated it was fantastic and i enjoyed every bit of it.

olivie blake has such a unique writing style, in my opinion, with such a distinct voice, and it's so fascinating and impressive to me how she manages to then create seven more distinct voices (nine, if you really want to get into it). everything is so beautifully blended and yet so separate at the same time in a way that was crystal clear. it was such an engaging and thought provoking book like. the writing was just uniquely mesmerizing and captivating and rich and intense and riveting.

it was so much fun to read, genuinely. it was so easy to discern the different voices and get a feel for each of them as people like i was sitting in their minds. this book would not have functioned as well as it did if it was told in a single person's pov and i just think it was incredibly well done. it has so much depth and is so incredibly nuanced and fascinating and detailed and it really tickled that inner part of me that once dreamed of being an astrophysicist, once upon a time, because i was so fascinated by space and physics and the relationship of reality and the universe and its ends and beginnings and time and i could go ON AND ON AND ON.

i think this is one of my favorite books of all time, for sure, and olivie blake is like, a top three author for me, truly. her writing is legendary and AUGH it's just so good. good doesn't even begin to capture what i feel like there are countless intricacies of this book and such depth to its writing and subject matter. like. truly. her writing is fascinating. mesmerizing. my mind is spinning but like, in the best way possible.

i was thinking about starting a different book series after i finished it because i have SO many books i'm dying to dig into, but now i want to read the second book immediatelyyyyyyyyy

#and thank you always to R for giving me the best book recs 🥰 #i know you will see this eventually and i will be screaming in our dms posthaste #JKBSDKJCBS #if you havent read this book and care to at all i wouldn't click this #it's not spoilery or anything but #it may ruin the element of mysticism and wonder and surprise for you #ooc.

[heartate]

when i finally repost my hcs and verses and stuff i need to add an addendum to my k/da one because like ahri's default hair color is always gonna just be black. i'm not too big on blonde ahri tbh

#like it's cute but it's just not my favorite. #i'm just a sucker for dark hair anyways #ahri got thick wavy dark hair just like me <3 #anyways #ooc. #tbd.

[heartate]

so i already chose a book to read next but the problem is i also want to read so many at once and like um. don’t tell R but i think i might have like almost 20 more coming in the mail in the next week 🙂

#i might have three coming in today…. #ooc. #tbd.

[heartate]

@umbane sent : "Kiss me until I'm sick of it."

shadows curl around their limbs where light fell to darkness as the sun sets beyond the horizon in a bleeding mural of blood orange and vibrant purple haze. a reckless smile curls upon the corners of ahri's mouth, all teeth when she looks deep into kayn's eyes, staring at the mirrored flames of hungering desire that yearn to consume her whole; she still doesn't know if they belong to him, or if they are a reflection of what dances bright in her own. the commanding note clinging to his voice is intoxicating. closing her eyes, she draws in a deep breath and drinks in the palpable aura emanating from the depths of kayn's soul, and she feels as though she could lose herself and every modicum of sense of faux modesty she wears beneath the alluring shroud of mystery wrapped around her limbs.

there is no need for that with kayn. they have seen the raw filaments of each other's souls, the very threads of their fragile hearts, each stitch that keeps the chambers bound and every vein in place. ahri has taken thread to needle upon his heart more times than she could count, learned how to heal the broken ribs, clean the cuts on his hands, and bandage wounds with delicate caution and care. now, glistening gold veins rest within the porcelain's frail cracks, sealed, but not fixed. ahri thinks there's a certain beauty in the mending wounds of what was once broken, though. each crack whispered of its strength, the story of what his heart endured, and that in spite of it all, kayn still found a way to allow her refuge inside its protective cage.

ahri's clawed hand slides up kayn's chest, fingers splayed out until the soft edges of her fingertips press gently against his skin and her knuckles curl, pushing her palm up into an arch. the tips of her nails prod lightly into him, but she's quick to move her hand to cup his face once she's straddling his waist and staring down into his eyes, drinking herself full of the breathtaking fire burning with the force the the sun staring right back at her.

even a million years would never be enough to bask in the resplendent, illuminatingly glorious light and its rapturous warmth of what it felt like to be loved by him.

" until you're sick of it? " ahri repeats, sending her long cascade of ink - black hair spilling over her shoulders with a sideways tilt of her head. her body is pressed even closer against him now, chest to chest, while her other hand comes to rest on kayn's other cheek. thumbs run along the edges of his jaw as her eyes run along the expanse of his face, over every carefully sculpted feature. a corner of her mouth twists up crookedly in tender admiration and adoration, and her chest swells with a flooding bloom of warmth.

she has never needed coaxing, and he hardly had to ask; ahri would kiss him for as long as they both held breath, and even into the beyond when their souls outlived the shells of their fragile flesh and brittle bones.

leaning in close, she presses her forehead to kayn's. the tips of their noses brush together, and she holds him like this for just a beat longer. for a moment, something lingered on the tip of her tongue, but it's unimportant now, in their solitary realm between shadow and dusk consumed by spring flowers and burning mahogany and bright citrus in her skin. her heartbeat is a roar of deafening thunder, and ahri is sure that kayn could hear it. fingers curling against his face, she grins at last, wild and fox - like and bleeding mischief, and dives in to press her plush, full lips against kayn's with hungering passion. she's sitting up only just a touch higher and her hips roll playfully into his while she slips a hand up to thread her fingers through his hair.

kiss me until i'm sick of it.

and so she would, until kayn found that, perhaps, he wanted a change of pace, a fiercer perspective, and a hunger for something more. until then, ahri is blissfully content to keep their mouths busy.

#umbane #PEEPOSMILEEEE #ic. #ask. #verse. → kda.

[heartate]

for one brief, faltering moment, ahri wonders where she went wrong, where, how, she missed the burning signs cresting over the sun - hazed horizon before the forest and its entire underbelly caught fire with flames so ravenous she couldn't hope to put them out. guilt gnaws at her stomach from the inside with ice - cold teeth, every single one of them serrated and sharply arranged in rows without end. had she been there a little more, been a little more attentive, would it have helped? even within her tempestuous whirlwind of thoughts, she continues threading her fingers in kayn's hair, careful to keep her touch soft without pause. the moment passes after a slow, unsteady breath and yet another reminder that it's a small selfishness to linger on her own guilt.

kayn turning over onto the grass doesn't go unnoticed. ahri is hypervigilant to every movement, the most minute shift to his voice, no matter how little. if there had ever been a time where she failed him, she isn't going to allow it to continue, but she treads a delicate tightrope in not wanting to snuff the light out from his soul if she dared cling too hard and wrap her hands too close to the flame.

finally sitting up, ahri keeps her silence for just a spell longer, but her hands remain pressed upon kayn, though they've shifted down to place a palm against his belly while one arm hugs around his chest. it takes a little effort, but she draws him close to her own chest and holds him there for several beats. the embrace is fierce and firm, but gentle enough to not cause discomfort. " let's go home, " ahri says at last. kayn can't see the fog in her eyes and the anguished twist of her lips, or how her ears flatten miserably against her head, and for that, she's glad.

she struggles for a lot longer than she means to, but it's a bit of a challenge to support the weight of a man almost a foot taller than her, and she stops to check on him as they walk to her car. it's a quiet ride back, the music playing low on her stereo just to have something other than the wind beating against the car or the white noise of the tires against the roads. it's so delayed, but ahri finally manages to say a few words. " there's nothing that you could do to make me not want you, kayn. i promise. "

His skin feels strange where she touches him, hot and tight in a way that only sobriety will fix. She strokes his hair in the way he likes, but Kayn knows he doesn't deserve it. Look at him. He's pathetic. Not only that, but he's the biggest failure the industry has ever seen. How much of a pariah do you have to be to get kicked out of two bands? Kayn knows it's not because of his skill — if there's one thing he's certain of, it's that he's got the talent, the smarts, the skills, to make it in the industry. But that means that they left him because they hate him. It means that they'd rather try to fill Kayn's role than deal with him for another day.

They were supposed to make it together.

Ahri says he doesn't deserve it, but Kayn knows better. He knows the things he said, the things he did. He knows what he broke in pursuit of success. She's always taken his side when he's complained about his band, but Kayn never told Ahri the whole truth. He never told her how he railed against them, cursing them all out, digging into their insecurities in hopes of lighting a fire under their ass. That's the worst part of it all, is when he's drunk away all the anger, all that's left is the realisation that everything they've said about him was right.

He deserves it. Oh, he deserves it, and that's what hurts the most.

Kayn curls in on himself, twisting until his chest is against the grass too, both arms cushioning his head. The tears flow freely now, but when Kayn's mouth opens, the sobs are silent. There's a part of him that hopes that if he's repulsive enough, Ahri will think better of staying with him and go home, but she doesn't. She stays with him as he cries himself out again, and when he finally turns his one good eye to look at her, she gives him a look so kind he thinks it'll break him to pieces. Kayn wants her to stroke his cheek again, but he doesn't know if he'll survive it.

"I can't do it," he gasps, eyelids heavy with exhaustion. "No one wants me. Not even you." A shiver. Fuck, he wants to sleep. "I can't..."

#umbane #ic. #rp. #verse. → kda.

[heartate]

TODAY I LEARNED THAT POPSTAR AHRI SINGS THE LYRICS TO I'LL SHOW YOU AND IT'S REALLY CUTE THAT AHRI WAS WRITING MUSIC THAT FAR BACK THAT SHE'LL LATER RELEASE WITH KDA

#AHRI IS SO CUTE!!!!!!!!! #ooc.

[heartate]

sometimes i'm like "irelia is right up my alley" but i don't need anymore muses

#sdkjbdsjkcb #but sometimes i just think u know #ooc. #tbd.