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Chapter 16 - Doubtsies
In this here chapter, Katherine and David have their doubts about Sarah. Meanwhile, Crutchie decides he doesnât want to be alone, and Jojo has an epiphany.
Or read on AO3 if you prefer.
Katherine was still pissed off about the vandalism on the little theatre. Every issue of the school paper she made sure to mention that it was still remembered. She wasnât as obsessed about it as Jack. She hadnât tried to help him find out who had done it. She was of the belief that the culprit would eventually try something else and get caught, or if they didnât, karma would get to them. Her mentions in the paper were meant to guilt trip them.
Besides that, sheâd been pressuring her father to look more into it. She kept using his Principal of the Year award against him, telling him that a real principal of the year wouldnât let this just happen and not do anything about it. He kept telling her he couldnât do anything about it unless he put a security camera by the little theatre and that would be unfair because it would be showing favoritism for that specific classroom. She continued insisting.
A week after the rally, Katherine was in her fatherâs office showing him that weekâs paper, reading to him the specific part that reminded everyone about the vandalism. He rolled his eyes at her but nonetheless told her he was proud of her like he did every Friday morning before class. She was displeased with his dismissal of the issue, and even more displeased with herself because she was used to it. She left the office defeated, but smiled when she looked up.
Sarah had walked into the main office and looked surprised to see Katherine. However, it wasnât a happy surprise. Sarah looked defeated as well. Something in Katherineâs brain alerted her that something was wrong. She walked up to the girl and asked, âAre you okay?â
Sarah tried to feign a smile. âYeah, yeah, Iâm fine. I just have to talk to your dad about something.â
âWhat is it? I could help you out. As his daughter, Iâve got leverage,â Katherine tried to joke. Sarah didnât seem like she was in the mood.
âNo, Iâd prefer to do it alone.â
âAlright, well, Iâm here if you need help.â She gave Sarah a kind smile and a small pat on the arm. She felt like she owed a lot to Sarah, though not for anything specific that she did. Just for the fact that she was there when no one else was. She didnât know why sheâd let the girl in. Maybe because she was a girl. After Jack, she hadnât been able to trust any guy. Except Crutchie but heâd always been Team Jack.
Now, she had a friend and she was able to at least trust the guys that were on the paper with her. Well, mostly David. And that was just because he was Sarahâs brother. Sheâd only ever thought of Sarah as her friend, but now she was starting to think that she might just be her best friend, something Katherine had never really had just because of her extremely competitive nature. Having a best friend made her feel normal and that was a nice thing to have.
âKath,â Sarah said as Katherine walked toward the exit. Katherine turned back at her curiously. âDonât hate me.â Katherine could tell by the way she was looking at her, that Sarah wasnât joking. Katherineâs danger alarm went off again, but she wasnât able to inquire further. Sarah went into her fatherâs office.
Katherine was tempted to stand at the door and eavesdrop, but at that moment, Miss Hannah walked in. As much as she had a rapport with the secretary, she didnât think the woman would let her stay to listen in. Instead, she went to get ready for her first class.
She knew Specs had his first period working in the office so she texted him, asking to keep her updated if anything happened. During class, she got a few texts from him. He told her the cops were called, but a few minutes later, Sarahâs parents arrived, demanding to have a talk with the principal. By the end of the period, Katherine knew for sure what the issue was.
She couldnât believe it. It didnât make sense. Sarah would have been the last person she suspected. She was in the LGBTQ+ Club so why would she vandalize it? Her twin brother was in a relationship with a boy. It just didnât make sense. There had to be some other explanation. She had to get to the bottom of it.
As she headed to her next class, she caught a glimpse of Sarah and her parents leaving campus. The cops werenât escorting her out so she hoped this was all some kind of misunderstanding.
Unfortunately, by lunch, it seemed that everyone knew what had happened. Sarah Jacobs had been the one to tag the little theatre door. And by the end of the day, she wasnât the only one who had shown up at the Jacobsâ house. Jack was there with his bike, and Spot Conlon got there a minute later. David came out to tell them that Sarah wasnât seeing anyone at the moment, but he looked angry. Katherine still didnât know what to believe.
She opted to text Sarah instead. âI donât hate you. I just want an explanation.â She got in her car and waited for a response. Katherine was lost. She had never in a million years expected this. Even if Sarah had done it, what had driven her to confess? Had it been her constant reminders in the articles sheâd written? Just that morning sheâd thought of Sarah as her best friend, but maybe sheâd jumped the gun. Maybe she didnât know as much about Sarah as she thought she did. Maybe Sarah was disturbed and there was a side of her no one had seen. She needed to talk to her. Katherine wouldnât be able to relax until she did.
A few minutes of waiting and she got a text back. It said, âSorry Katherine, Sarahâs phone has been confiscated. You can talk with her in a couple of weeks when she goes back to school. Mrs. Jacobs.â Katherine cursed herself but she knew there was nothing she could do now except wait.
For the next few days at school, she heard many rumors about Sarah and why sheâd tagged the door. But she couldnât believe any of them. Katherine decided she was going to give Sarah the benefit of the doubt. She knew there was more to the story. And even if it took the rest of the year, she was going to get to the bottom of it and she was going to make sure she cleared Sarahâs name.
A thought went through her mind. Before meeting Sarah, she would have started the process of getting over her new best friend. But she had just gotten over a boy thanks to her. She wasnât going to let herself get over Sarah. She was too important. It was what Sarah would do for her.
David kept telling himself he was happy. Other than the graffiti, everything was good. Jack was his boyfriend; Crutchie was still his friend; hell, he had friends and quite a few of them. When heâd started at the school, he never would have thought that any of it was possible. He still didnât.
There was always something in the back of Davidâs head that told him something was waiting for him around the corner. That if he let his guard down even a little, he would regret it. Because every time something good happened, it meant something equally bad was about to occur.
He couldnât let himself be happy, even though he tried to fake it as much as he could. Every time Jack came up behind him and hugged him or gave him a kiss, he put on a smile. It wasnât necessarily fake. He liked Jack. He enjoyed his hugs and kisses. He just didnât expect them to last long. He was stressing himself out until whatever bad thing was going to happen happened.
David replayed conversations heâd had with people over in his head. Especially the conversations heâd had with Crutchie and Katherine. He couldnât stop thinking about how Crutchie said that Jack eventually ruins relationships. And then he had to think about how Katherine had told him that Jack moves on quickly. Would that happen to him? Would Jack ruin the relationship? Would he go running towards the next cute boy or girl that he met?
He didnât want to think like that. He trusted Jack. Heâd proven that with all the exercises heâd done with him for the club. Crutchie seemed to notice there was something off and he told him to relax, but how was David supposed to listen to his current words while trying to not think of his past words? He felt like a disaster.
He could feel himself trying to distance himself from people again. It was his best defensive move. But he knew he shouldnât. He knew that the last time heâd done that, it was cowardly. He knew if heâd kept everyone at bay, he wouldnât be where he was now.
He had only been Jackâs boyfriend for a week before the news broke. Heâd been in class when heâd seen people whispering and staring at him, but quickly looking away. He didnât know what was happening until lunchtime when he met up with Jack and Crutchie. They explained it to him and he couldnât believe it. It wasnât possible.
Sarah had always been his best friend. Despite being fraternal, they always liked to pretend they were identical, until it wasnât fun for her anymore because she knew she was different. This only brought them closer together. They were each otherâs confidants. He was the first one she told that she was a she. She was the first one he told that he liked a boy in their class.
He thought it would always be like that. But once their parents knew, some things changed. The first time David ever felt lonely was when Sarah went to her new school in the city. It was when he realized he had no friends of his own. Everyone they were friends with were actually Sarahâs friends. She was the brave one. She was the leader. He was just a follower.
When Sarah was back at his school, he was relieved. He could have some kind of social life again. Except, this time Sarah was a pariah. She made a few new friends but David could tell she wasnât happy. And if she wasnât happy, neither was he. He tried to make her as comfortable as possible but he didnât know how.
Then they moved and she seemed excited. He was happy for her despite hating the situation. Because if they had to move, at least it would benefit her. At least someone would be happy. And now they were both happy. Or so he thought.
He couldnât figure it out. Sarah was rebellious but she never acted out in a bad way. And he knew that sheâd been called that F word before, so it didnât make sense to him that it was Sarah that had done it. He called her on the phone but their mom picked up. âWhatâs going on?â
Mrs. Jacobs told him the basics of what had happened. Sarah had confessed to the vandalism and they had spoken to the principal and convinced him not to press charges and only suspend her for a couple of weeks. David asked his mom if she could take him out of school early for that day. He told her people were staring at him and talking. She sighed but agreed.
At home, his parents asked him to see if he could talk to Sarah. She was in her room and they had tried talking to her but she wasnât cooperating. They looked angry, but more than that, they looked concerned for their daughter. David knew exactly how they felt because he felt it too.
âSarah?â he asked, tapping lightly at her door. There was no answer. He tried again. âI just want to talk. I want to understand. Weâre all worried. We still love you.â
At that, he heard some stirring inside and the door opened. He heard Sarah walking back to her bed and he took the opportunity to walk inside. He closed the door, knowing she probably wouldnât want their parents to hear their conversation.
âSarah?â he said, staring at her. She looked just as angry as everyone else, but there was a bit of sadness in her eyes. Like she wanted to scream or cry. She was keeping something in. âDid you hear what I said?â
âOf course you still love me,â she answered. âI didnât think youâd stop loving me just because I did something stupid.â
David felt like she was brushing it off as if it were nothing. âSomething stupid like confessing to something you didnât do? You didnât do it, right?â
âWhy else would I confess, David?â
âI donât know. You wanted the search to be over. Or someone put you up to it?â
âNo one put me up to it. I confessed because I did it and I felt bad.â
She wasnât looking him in the eye, which told him she was lying. As if she knew what he was thinking, she turned to him directly.
âI wrote the word. I went to school on the weekend and I spray painted it.â
But it didnât make sense to David. If no one put her up to it, then she must have been taking the blame for someone else. Someone she had strong feelings for. âIt was Spot Conlon, wasnât it? He did it. And youâre taking the blame for him because...because you love him.â
She glared at him but then laughed at him as if he were stupid. âYouâve never liked Spot. Of course youâd suspect him. But you donât even know him. He probably would have taken the blame for me if heâd known Iâd done it. But it was all me, Dave. By myself with no help.â
He still didnât believe her. âWhy, then? Whyâd you do it?â
She looked down, angry again. âYou wouldnât get it. You...Your life is perfect.â
âWhat? Since when? Iâm far from perfect. Iâm not even...normal.â
âNormal.â She laughed at that. âYou think that just âcause you happen to like boys that youâre not normal? Try living in a body that you hate. Try living inside a mind that you hate. Try living the most perfect life you could think of while knowing that no matter how hard you try, youâll never truly achieve perfection.â
âSarah, nobodyâs perfect.â
âAnd donât I know it. My boyfriend is the captain of the schoolâs most popular sports team. Boys want to have me. Girls want to be me. But they donât know. And if they knewâŚâ
âIf they knew, theyâd accept it. Or if they didnât, then to hell with them. We donât need them. We just need each other. Thatâs all we needed when we were kids. Thatâs all I ever needed.â
Sarah shook her head. âYouâve just been too scared to try new things. Make new friends. But look at you now. Not just one best friend, but two. One of who is your boyfriend. You donât need me. No one needs me.â
âSarah, youâre scaring me.â
âGood.â She got up and went to her desk. She opened the middle drawer and took out a can of spray paint, bouncing it in her hand for a few seconds. âI felt like shit. I canât be open like everyone else in that damn club. I just canât, David. I felt like shit and I wanted everyone to feel that way too. I wanted them to feel what I felt. It was impulsive. It was stupid. And I regretted it as soon as Monday morning came along.â
She threw the can at David and he caught it. Was he holding evidence? He didnât feel well. His stomach ached. He hadnât believed she could have done it, but her words were convincing him.
âI knew I had to do something so that I didnât get in trouble. I hid a couple of spray cans in the most obvious place.â
âSarah, stop.â He didnât want to hear it.
âThe locker of an art student.â
âStop it, I mean it.â
âIâd seen him open his locker a few times. I knew the combination.â
âPleaseâŚâ
âI put the spray cans in Jackâs locker. I figured heâd get away with it because he was an art student. And I was right, wasnât I?â
âSarah, youâre...a bitch. Youâre a fucking bitch.â
They both stared at each other for a few seconds. Both of them had watery eyes. And they both looked surprised at Davidâs words. Heâd never called her that. At least not in the serious way he just had.
âYouâre right,â she said.
âHe could have been suspended.â
âI know.â
âHe could have been expelled.â
She nodded, slow tears falling down her face.
âKatherineâs father is the principal. He could have been hard on Jack just because heâd broken Katherineâs heart. It could have been bad. Really bad. And all you have to say for yourself is that you were right? You...ugh!â
âIâm sorryâŚâ
âI donât care. I thought...I thought it was all a misunderstanding. I thought maybe you hadnât graffitied the little theatre. Even hearing you admit why you did it, I thought that maybe I could forgive you. That getting suspended was punishment enough. IâŚâ
Sarah looked at him like a sad little puppy. But David saw right through it. It was like all the stress heâd been putting on himself was now lifting off of him. Because now he had someone to take it out on. Now he had someone to blame. Now, he didnât have to worry about anything bad happening, because the worst thing that could happen had happened.
âI still love you, Sarah. But I donât like you. I really donât like you. I donât know you. I donât know who you are or how you became like this. I canât...I canât be friends with you. I canât be around you. Iâm done.â
He dropped the spray can on the floor and marched out of the room without looking back, heading straight for his own room. He was pissed, but he was relieved. He felt the worst was over. But deep down, he knew that if he couldnât trust Sarah, he didnât know who he could trust.
David put his earphones in and listened to music, trying to drown out the sound of Sarah crying in her room. He couldnât feel sorry for her. She made her bed.
The next club meeting was awkward to say the least. No one knew what to say. When Miss Medda tried to suggest a trust exercise, Jack told her it was probably best to just go into the meeting right away. At that, she asked to see him in the costume room and told the rest of the members to talk amongst themselves.
Crutchie was sitting next to David, though they were both silent. David looked angrier than heâd ever looked before and something told Crutchie it wouldnât be wise to ask him what was wrong. He figured it had to do with his sister. It was funny, after finding out it was her, Crutchie wasnât as upset. Sheâd confessed so he figured she at least felt bad. It was a shitty thing to do but it happened and now there was nothing left to do but move on.
Romeo apparently saw that he and David were in need of some company so he went over to them, sitting down directly on Crutchieâs desk.
âWhatâs up, Romeo?â
âNothing. Just getting a good view.â He looked Crutchie up and down and winked at him.
Crutchie didnât know what to think except that Romeo wanted something. âDonât you and Specs have a thing going on?â
âIs he watching?â Crutchie looked behind Romeo and saw that Specs was watching them discreetly. He nodded. âGood. I hope heâs getting jealous.â
âWhatâs going on, Romeo?â
The younger boy sighed, but then ran his hand down Crutchieâs arm. âSo, I really like Specs and I know he likes me. And I just want him to ask me to be his boyfriend. I mean, after Jack and Davey did it all romantically in public like that, I...I want that. I just want him to ask me. But he says itâs a bad idea.â
âWhy?â
âBecause Iâm a freshman and heâs a junior. Like thatâs stopped him from putting his tongue down my throat.â He giggled with slight exaggeration, though Crutchie knew that was for Specsâ benefit. âAnd also he says I flirt with everyone too much. But I canât help that Iâm just very charismatic. Heâs told me Iâm not the only one heâs seeing, but I donât believe him. I think heâs just trying to make excuses. So now Iâm flirting with you to make him jealous.â
âBut you donât want me.â
âCrutchie, youâre cute. And I would in a heartbeat. But...right now my heart belongs to Specs, whether he wants it or not. I just wish he would take it. Asshole.â
âMaybe heâs just scared that youâll find someone better. Or that youâll break up when he graduates.â
âWho cares? I want him right now and thatâs all that should matter. Iâm not asking for marriage. Just a boyfriend. Someone to be with for now.â
Just then, Medda and Jack returned. âIâm sure youâll work it out, Romeo.â
âIâll just tell him he canât kiss me anymore until I get what I want,â Romeo said as he jumped off the desk. âThanks, Crutchie.â He gave the boy a kiss on the cheek and then went back to his desk.
Miss Medda announced that for that day there would be no trust exercise since they had limited time, but they would keep doing them in future meetings.
Crutchie couldnât pay attention to the meeting. He was too busy thinking about what Romeo had said. Crutchie loved Jack, but he knew it could never happen if he didnât want to lose him. Heâd been thinking about that a lot ever since Jack and David became an official couple. Whether the two lasted, Crutchie had to find a way to get over Jack. Even if it was only temporarily.
He looked over at Jojo, wondering what it would be like if he gave him a chance. He knew theyâd make the cutest couple. At least everyone would think so. Would he be happy? Probably not. But heâd have someone and that was better than not having anyone. It was certainly better than being the third wheel. Jojo wasnât ugly, and his parties were awesome which probably meant he was somewhat fun. And it wouldnât have to be forever. Theyâd probably go their separate ways for college. Or maybe heâd end up falling for him, which would benefit both of them. Crutchie spent the rest of the meeting trying to justify what he would do next.
âHey, Jojo.â
Jojo turned to see Crutchie hobbling behind him. âOh, hey, whatâs up?â He let Crutchie catch up and they continued walking.
âI was wondering if youâd like to...go out with me?â
Jojoâs eyebrow furrowed as he looked at Crutchie. âYou mean, like as friends?â
âOr like...on a date.â
Jojo stopped, wondering if Crutchie had lost some kind of bet to Race. âI thought you didnât like me.â
âI changed my mind.â
âWhy?â It wasnât like Jojo hadnât daydreamed about it happening. It was just that heâd spent the last few months settling on the fact that it never would. Heâd been drilling into his brain that Crutchie didnât like him as more than a friend and that he would never even see him that way, so it was best to move on. But now Crutchie was proving that not to be the case.
Crutchie shrugged. âI just did. I like you, Jojo. So...date?â
Jojo was still suspicious, but he wanted to give the other boy the benefit of the doubt. It wouldnât hurt to go on one date with him. Maybe heâd find that Crutchie really did like him and theyâd get together. He knew theyâd be a really cute couple. âHowâs Friday night? At The Bowery?â
âSounds great to me. Iâll meet you there.â
Friday night came and Jojo was nervous. Heâd realized that this was actually happening. He had a date with Crutchie Morris, which is something he had hoped for practically since heâd met him. Well, since heâd learned that Crutchie and Jack werenât a couple and Crutchie was single.
As he Ubered to the bar, Jojo thought back to when heâd first met Crutchie and Jack. Everyone had thought they were a couple until Race hooked up with Jack. Crutchie had showed slight interest in Jojo then, but backed off as soon as Jack and Race were over. Then, when Jack was with Katherine, Crutchie had been friendlier to him again, even going as far as to plan one of his house parties together. And now...Now, Jack was with David and things were starting to make sense to Jojo.
At the bar, Crutchie was already there, ready with a drink for himself and Jojo. âHey there, handsome,â he said, giving Jojo a kiss on the cheek.
âHeyâŚâ Jojo wanted to say something. To yell at him and make a scene in front of everyone. But he knew that wouldnât solve anything and it would get him kicked out. He decided the best option would be to play Crutchieâs game. This was a date, so he might as well enjoy it.
They talked as they had their drinks. They tried to find if they had anything in common. Jojo was into Parks and Rec, while Crutchie was more of an Office man. Jojo had a passion for tabletop games, but Crutchie liked video games better. They both knew they needed to stop when Jojo admitted he liked Phantom Menace and Crutchie said his favorite Batman movie was Batman & Robin.
Jojo suggested some dancing, which they did. They had a bit of a laugh as they watched each other be dorks. Jojo had never really seen Crutchie dance, and despite the disability, he turned it out as best as he could and with great balance. They were starting to have some fun, or maybe it was the drinks talking. They proceeded to have a few more.
During one song, Crutchie started twerking on Jojo. It was funny to him at first, but after a while, Crutchie was committing to the bit and really pushing his ass against Jojoâs crotch. Jojo nervously laughed harder, knowing that if Crutchie didnât stop, he would get hard. He wasnât ready for that kind of humiliation, but he didnât want to ruin the fun they were having.
Then something in the back of Jojoâs head asked him if they were really having fun. Heâd almost forgotten about his epiphany. Heâd almost forgotten that this wasnât real. That Crutchie was just playing with him because Jack was involved with someone else. Heâd almost forgotten he was supposed to be playing along.
âHey, Crutchie! Do you uh...wanna take this back to my place?â
Crutchie turned around, using his crutch for balance and smiled. He took Jojoâs hand and led him outside. They waited for an Uber and as soon as they were in the back of the car, Crutchie kissed him. It was a bit sloppy, but he was eager. Jojo didnât have time to react, but he just went with it, even pulling Crutchie closer to him.
They got to Jojoâs house and immediately Crutchie began pulling Jojoâs shirt off. âBedroom, now,â he commanded.
âBedroomâs upstairs,â Jojo replied and he could see Crutchie mentally debating whether he needed to be climbing stairs. âHow about the living room? I can get us a blanket.â
Crutchie nodded. âBring a condom too. A few of them.â
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Chapter 15 - Effectsies
Whoops. I forgot to post this here when I posted it on AO3. In this chapter, Crutchie and David try to help Jack out, Spot has a sleepover at Jojo's, and Sarah has a conversation with the Delanceys.
Or read on AO3 if you prefer.
The vandalism caused a big commotion, in the principalâs office, that was led by Jack, Katherine, and Race. Miss Medda joined in as soon as she saw. Crutchie was angry, but he knew it was better if he let the others try to handle it. Crutchie felt like his voice didnât matter, or that heâd be pitied.
He sat outside the office, waiting to hear what was happening, and he stared at his crutch, thinking how no matter what he did, he wouldnât ever feel normal again. Even if he got some kind of new mechanical leg. But he knew that a crutch was better than a wheelchair. It was way more uncomfortable, but at least he could walk.
When the three teens and Medda came out of the office with the principal, they all still looked angry, but a little more calm. Jack told Crutchie that the principal was going to search lockers for any kind of spray cans. Crutchie thought that was a dumb idea. The graffiti may have been discovered that morning, but the culprit essentially had all weekend to do it and he figured they wouldnât be stupid enough to leave the evidence in their locker. But at least it was something to do. Meanwhile, a custodian would paint over the graffiti.
As he walked to class, Crutchie couldnât help but look at every single person he passed in the halls, wondering if any one of them could have done the damage. He tried to distract himself with his actual classwork, but it wasnât long until he got a text that would keep him preoccupied.
When the bell rang, he knew what he had to do. He walked as quickly as he could to the principalâs office, ready to make some noise. He didnât care how much trouble he got in. Jack needed him and he was going to be there for him.
When he got there, however, a tired-looking Jack was leaving with Miss Medda at his side. âJack, I was just gonna tell Pulitzer--â
Miss Medda held up a finger. âCrutchie, donât say anything else. Itâs all been taken care of. Go to your next class.â
âIâll see you at lunch,â Jack was able to mutter.
When lunch came along, Crutchie hurried to Miss Meddaâs room. The door was open, as the paint was still drying. Miss Medda was in there making a call, but Jack wasnât there yet. He sat down and a minute later, David came in.
âHey, Crutchie. Whatâs going on? I got a text from Specs earlier that said Jack was in trouble. That theyâd found spray cans in his locker.â
âYeah, he sent me that text too. I went down to Pulitzerâs office to tell them the cans were mine but...Miss Medda said it was taken care of.â
Miss Medda had finished her call and had apparently heard them talking because she went up to them and cheerfully said, âHey, boys, can you come help me in the costume room?â The two of them followed her into what was essentially a walk in closet full of costumes. She made sure none of the other students in the classroom had followed or were close enough to listen.
âOkay, hereâs what happened,â she said. âYes, they found spray cans in Jackâs locker. So the principal called him to his office. Luckily he didnât say anything until I got there. I told Pulitzer that Jack had the spray cans because he was helping me paint a set for the next school play and I forgot that Iâd given them to him. Pulitzer was suspicious, but he had no reason to doubt me. Just as I have no reason to doubt Jack.
âI know he didnât put up the graffiti, and thatâs the only reason I said what I said. But those cans werenât mine and they werenât his so...Someone is trying to frame him. I think right now heâs trying to find out who, but...I think he just needs his friends. And Iâm sure you need him too.â
The boys nodded and then they proceeded to go try to find Jack. But when they did, he was too far into his investigation. He was angry and he was making it his sole purpose to find out who was trying to frame him. For the next few days, he kept obsessing over it to the point where Crutchie and David needed a break. Heâd even brought it up in the LGBTQ+ Club meeting.
The next week, Crutchie texted David and they met in Miss Meddaâs room for lunch. He knew Jack wouldnât mind going at his investigation alone. He probably preferred it that way. But Crutchie was tired. The graffiti couldâve been done by anyone.
âWe need him to stop,â David said as they settled down into their desks.
âBut how?â Crutchie had tried everything shy of physically snapping Jack out of it. He even tried reasoning that the damage wasnât bad enough to be so focused on it, although he didnât believe that himself. People at school were still talking about the incident, as they probably would be for the next few weeks. Even as he went into the little theatre, heâd seen people staring at the door, wondering if the vandalizer would strike again.
âIâve been thinking,â David said slowly and quietly. âI mean, Iâm not sure it would work, but...It would probably distract himâŚâ Crutchie waited. âBut I donât know if itâs a good idea.â
âWhat is it, Davey?â
âOkay, so ever since the graffiti thing happened, Iâve just been wanting to do something. Something big. Something to make us feel stronger. To...give a big middle finger to the man. And to whoever put up that...hateful word.â
âJust spit it out. Your idea.â
âOkay, well, what if we hold some kind of pride pep rally? I know at the very least everyone in the club would participate. We could hand out stickers and stuff. Get a few others to join in. Maybe have new people join the club.â
âJack could make a speech.â
âKatherine could write it.â
âDavey, I could kiss you!â David blushed a little, though it went unnoticed by Crutchie. âThatâs a great idea! It would definitely distract Jack, and it would also help us out. We should definitely pitch it at the next meeting. You...youâre a genius.â
âI wouldnât say geniusâŚâ
âGodsend then. An angel. A saint. Deus ex machina.â
âCrutchie...pleaseâŚâ
At the next meeting, Davey, with Crutchieâs help, pitched the idea to the club, and everyone was on board. They all put effort in and by the next Friday, they were holding their rally. Jack was successfully distracted and everything had gone according to plan. Stickers were handed out, some other clubs joined in for the pep part of the rally, there were even some possible new club recruits, and Katherine had written a speech for Jack.
Jack was at the end of the speech when he suddenly stopped. Crutchie could tell that heâd just gotten one of his crazy Jack ideas. Ideas that could go either way.
âYou know,â Jack said into the microphone. âIâd like to thank you all for showing your support for the our community and for your classmates. But most of all, Iâd like to thank one person in particular, for who we owe this rally to. David Jacobs, could you please come up here?â
David looked at Crutchie, wondering what he should do, but Crutchie was just as confused and he shrugged. David looked back up at Jack and upon seeing his inviting smile, went up to the stage nervously.
Jack took Davidâs hand and looked back out to the audience. âThis guy right here has done more for the LGBTQ+ Club than Iâve done since I started it. Heâs made it a real safe space. He has all the best ideas. Heâs...heâs amazing.â He turned back to David, who was fully red. âI have a question for you, Davey. Will youâŚâ Jack swallowed before finishing the question. âWill you be my boyfriend?â
There were some gasps from the audience. Crutchie knew at that moment that this was probably one of Jackâs more worse ideas, but he didnât know if he thought that because it was true, or out of jealousy. David looked right at him as Jack waited for a response. But again, all Crutchie could do was shrug.
âYes,â David said as he turned back to Jack.
âYes?â
âYes.â
Jack smiled and he pulled in David for a kiss. In front of the whole school. Cheers came, mostly from the front where members of the LGBTQ+ club were standing. Some groans were heard from the back. Crutchie then figured it out. He wasnât jealous. He wouldnât have traded places with David if he could. All of this, it wasnât personal. It was a stunt. Crutchie felt sad, not because Jack and David were officially a couple, but because he felt that Jack had just started on a path to ruin another relationship.
Spot couldnât exactly react to the vandalism. He had to pretend he didnât notice it or that it didnât affect him. Except it did affect him. He was much quieter in the weeks after it happened. He was focused on wrestling more than anything. He usually gave the team inspirational speeches before every meet, but now he was letting Jojo give them. Spot was just trying not to break down and cry.
The Friday after the graffiti was found, the school paper had released a front page article about it. For some reason, Spotâs mother had gotten a copy of it and someone had sent her a picture of the graffiti in question. âServes them faggots right, huh son?â sheâd asked him straight to his face. He agreed with her and then went to his room, crying as quietly as he possibly could.
But he could deal with that. He was strong. It wasnât until the pride pep rally that heâd finally had enough. He was standing towards the back, trying to pay attention to Jackâs speech, but the Delancey brothers were standing nearby talking loudly. He wanted to yell at them to shut up, but he didnât want to draw any attention to himself.
Then Jack called David to the stage and they kissed. Heâd seen it before, in front of Sarahâs house. Heâd felt awkward about it at first, but he had tried not to think much of it. Now that it was in public for everyone to see, Spot felt like he was the one on blast even though it wasnât him on stage. âThatâs fucking gross,â he heard one of the Delanceys say. He wanted to punch them both in the face. Instead, he subtly walked away to the nearest bathroom.
Heâd locked himself in a stall when he heard the footsteps of someone coming in. He hoped to god it wasnât Race. He didnât want to deal with him and his radical ideas. He hoped it was just some random guy that needed to pee and would leave right after. Of course, whoever it was knocked at his stall. âSpot?â
Luckily, it wasnât Raceâs voice that he heard. It was Jojoâs. And he couldnât have been happier to hear it. He got up and exited the stall, giving Jojo probably the biggest hug heâd ever given him. Probably the biggest hug heâd ever given anyone. Without saying anything, Jojo hugged him back. âHey, Jo? Can I stay with you this weekend?â
Spot told his mom he was staying at a wrestling buddyâs place for the weekend to study for their end of year tests. It wasnât exactly a lie, although he didnât think theyâd do a lot of studying. He got to Jojoâs house and was a bit irked to see Race open the door. It wasnât that he didnât want to see him. He just would have rather it be only him and Jojo. Race was an emotional overload for him. Around him, he felt happy, sad, horny, angry, and peaceful all in the span of one glance.
Race looked just as pleased to see him, a bit reserved at first, but then all smiles. He took Spotâs hand and pulled him into the kitchen where Jojo was pouring them drinks. A screwdriver for Race and two orange juices for Spot and himself. Race continued holding his hand.
âGod, you guys are making me look like an alcoholic,â Race said before downing his entire drink happily. Jojo and Spot laughed.
They spent the rest of the night playing games and watching tv. After midnight, Spot could tell Jojo was tired, as he kept yawning. He figured Jojo liked the company and didnât want to be the first to bow out. Spot wasnât sleepy, but he felt obligated to let his friend rest. âHey Jo? Iâm getting kinda tired.â
âOh? Yeah, man, itâs pretty late, huh?â he replied. Race groaned a little as they all got up to go upstairs. He seemed to still be up for a party. âDo you want to sleep in my room or take a guest room?â
âGuest roomâs cool,â Spot said. He didnât want to bother Jojo as he slept, and he knew if he was in the room, Race would be too. He felt like being alone with his thoughts.
After brushing his teeth, Jojo led him to one of the guest rooms and said, âRace, my room,â when he saw Race tiptoeing towards the bed. Spot smiled at Race but pushed him out before saying good night and closing the door.
He lay awake in bed, with the bedside lamp on, thinking about the way heâd let his mother dictate how to live his life. He loved her, and as a kid, he thought she could do no wrong. The older he grew, the more wrong he realized she was doing.
Heâd always blamed the alcohol for everything. Heâd always thought she relied too much on it. Heâd thought it was the reason she had hit him when he was younger. Sheâd stopped when she realized he could do more damage to her than she could to him. She never realized that he would never hurt her. But he was starting to realize the alcohol wasnât the issue. She was.
He got up and went downstairs. He took a glass and poured some vodka in it. At first, he stared at it. Then, he took a sip. It burned and he wondered why people liked the stuff. Maybe he needed more. He took a gulp this time. He hated it. Or maybe he hated himself enough to drink more. Was this how it started? With one gulp of self-hatred?.
âI thought you didnât drink.â
Spot turned around and saw Race standing at the doorway, watching him. âI thought you didnât want to look like an alcoholic.â
Race walked toward him and took the glass from his hand. He drank the rest of the vodka and put the glass down. âIâd rather be an alcoholic than turn you into one.â
âThanks. I hated it.â
Race smiled at him and took his hand like he had earlier. âBedtime.â Spot wanted to just melt. This whole thing with Race was too complicated for him to handle, but it was easier when he didnât think about it. Maybe thatâs why he tried drinking. He was tired of continuous thinking.
They went upstairs to the guest room, where Race closed and locked the door. He led him to the bed and they immediately began making out. But as much as he didnât want to think, Spot knew that they couldnât just keep doing that and not expect there to be consequences. Cheating on Sarah was one thing, but he was getting too comfortable. He was heading towards a point where he wouldnât be able to go back.
When Race took a condom out of his pocket, Spot didnât know that would be the deciding point. He was overcome with lust and the shot he took was starting to affect him. He couldnât control his impulses. Race guided him through everything, from stripping down, to loosening him up. It was an experience he would never forget. There were some awkward moments, but when they finished, he felt heâd been successful.
He woke up needing to pee. Race was on the other side of the bed, having stolen all the blankets. Spot put his shirt and underwear on and went to the bathroom. He figured he might as well shower and brush his teeth. When heâd done that, he still didnât want to go back to the room. He didnât know why. It would be so easy to go back to bed and watch Race sleep until he couldnât take it anymore, waking him up with kisses and cuddles. Easy, but wrong.
Instead, he went to Jojoâs room. The door was open and he could see the guy was still sleeping. The floor creaked as he turned to walk away, and he heard the movement of sheets. âSpot?â
Spot turned back around and smiled at his friend. âSorry, didnât mean to wake you.â
âItâs fine. I was already awake. Just being lazy. Come in.â Jojo sat up as Spot went to sit down next to him. âI assume the ghost of Racetrack present paid you a visit last night?â Spot smiled and nodded. Jojo sighed. âHe told me he was going to break it off. Guess he canât quit you.â
Spot got up and closed the door before heading back. âI guess I canât quit him either. But...it sucks, Jo. Because...I can never be with him.â
âWhat makes you say that?â
âIâm not...out. I have a girlfriend. Iâm captain of the wrestling team. The only pride my mom has is in having a hetero, masculine, little man who loves her. I...I can never be with Race.â
âNever is such a bullshit word. You donât know whatâs going to happen in the future. Never could turn into someday. And someday could turn into...now.â
Spot shook his head. âI canât, Jojo. Iâd lose everything. Everyone. Sarah, my team, my friends...my mom.â
âYou wouldnât lose me. Or rather, you havenât lost me and you wonât. Do you know why I joined the wrestling team? Because I saw you and your leadership skills and I thought, I want to be that guy. Heâs cool, and heâs fierce, and he makes it look so easy. Whether youâre with a girl or with a guy, youâre still you, Spot. And if people canât see that, they will. Youâll show them.â
âEven so, itâs not like I could ask Race to deal with all my shit.â
âHe likes you. He really likes you. He doesnât want to admit it, but he does. The last guy that Race really liked...Heâs still not over it. But I think you can help. I think you can make him happy. And he can make you happy. You just have to be brave. At your own pace. Remember, not never, but someday. Until it becomes now.â
Spot nodded, thinking about it. Thinking of all the hurt he would have to cause in order to make himself happy. Thinking of how much happier he would be once he was able to kiss Race just as publicly as Jack kissed David, without feeling all the guilt and shame that he felt now. He wished he could just skip to the end.
Sarah was sure the writing on the door wasnât directed at her. It was a blanket term for the community. But she didnât know how to not take it personally. Sheâd been called that before by people she���d grown up with. Sheâd been called that by strangers who felt they thought they knew who she was. She hated the word.
But while a lot of her fellow club members were angry, she retreated into sadness. If this was the kind of treatment they got with her not even being out to anyone, what would it be like when she did? Even if what Jack had said was true, that the club was a safe space, once she told everyone in there, the rest of the school would probably find out. And once she left that safe space, she wouldnât feel safe anymore.
Sarah had managed to convince Tommy Boy and Hot Shot to attend a club meeting, though she thought they were just being nice. Her own boyfriend wouldnât attend, saying Jack Kelly would probably have him kicked out. Sheâd tried to tell him he wouldnât, but Spot had made up his mind. She understood, though it didnât put her at ease.
The week after the rally, Sarah was sitting on a bench outside the gym waiting for Spot to get out of practice. She had finished her homework and had started reading a new sci fi romance novel, her favorite genre. Sheâd even enjoyed the Twilight series at its peak, though sheâd moved on to better written books.
The gym doors opened and she looked up, hoping to see Spot, but instead was met with the Delancey brothers. They hadnât bothered her or Katherine since the award ceremony, but now they were headed straight to her. Without putting her book down, she stared them down. âOscar, Morris, come for another beating?â
The brothers looked at each other and smiled before looking back at her. She didnât like that. âActually, we came with a proposition,â said Oscar.
âSorry boys, even if you could afford me, itâd still be a no.â
âYou havenât heard us out,â Morris whined.
Sarah closed her book.
âYou know, at the beginning of the year,â Oscar spoke, âwe had a free period so we both chose to use it to be aides in the main office. It was something to do at the time.â
âOur dad said it would give us valuable experience.â
âWe just thought itâd be boring office stuff. Putting staples in the staplers, sending memos to teachers, making copies on the copy machine.â
âThey donât even let us use the copy machine.â
âIs there a point to this?â Sarah asked impatiently.
âWe didnât think of the possibilities,â Oscar continued, a mischievous smile forming on his face. âWe didnât think that weâd be able to go through files without anyone finding out. Student files. With personal information.â
Sarah went pale. She remained silent as she waited for the ball to drop.
âWe know youâre a dude,â Morris confirmed.
It was a terrible feeling to be called that to her face. The graffitied word would have been more welcome. She wanted to kick their asses again, but she waited, because she suspected there was more.
âYou probably want to bust our skulls in, donât you?â Oscar asked, rhetorically. âThing is, you could do that. But then youâd force us to tell the whole school that we didnât get our asses handed to us by a girl. Because sheâs actually not a girl. She...is a he.â The brothers laughed as Sarah clenched her fist tighter and tighter.
âWe own you,â came out of Morrisâ smug lips. âYou have to do whatever we want, whenever we want. Or else we tell everyone we can that youâre...whatever you are.â
âAnd the first thing we want you to doâŚâ The two brothers smiled at each other again. âWe want you to go into the principalâs office and tell him that you spray painted the graffiti on the little theatre.â
âIt was you,â Sarah finally said. The Delanceys smiled at each other once more and shrugged. There it was. She was sure there wasnât anything possibly worse than that. She shouldâve known they were behind the tagging. The fact that they had access to student files meant they had access to student lockers. âYou tried framing Jack.â
âMy idea,â Morris said proudly.
âEven if that had worked,â Oscar suggested, rolling his eyes, âthis is a much better plan. Itâs win-win. We donât get in trouble for the graffiti, and your secret doesnât come out. Weâll uh...give you âtil Friday, pal.â
With that, the Delancey brothers went back into the gym, leaving Sarah there with her thoughts. It may have been win-win for the Delanceys, but for her it was lose-lose. She could either take the blame for the graffiti, or she could risk the entire school finding out that she was trans. As much as she thought of it, she wasnât ready to come out to anyone. She unclenched her fist, cursing herself as she saw the marks sheâd left on her palm with her nails. She picked up her book, wishing she was a character in it. She couldnât get it out of her mind that maybe the graffiti had been directed at her after all. Sarah only saw one solution.
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Chapter 14 - Stopsies
Todayâs chapter features Race and Spot talking about the origins of their nicknames, Katherine having a girls night with Sarah, and Jack and Davey on another date. Enjoy.
Or read on AO3 if you prefer.
Race was doing what he did best and doing some laps around the school track. Practice was out and it was the weekend, but he didnât feel like going home yet. And he couldnât go to Jojoâs. He was still angry with him for that stupid conversation they had about the stupid article. He knew heâd forgive him eventually, but for now he needed to cool off.
He was halfway through his third lap when he noticed someone watching him from the bleachers. As he finished and got closer, he realized it was Spot. Another person he wasnât sure he wanted to see, just because he wasnât really in the mood to see anyone. Still, he jogged over to him and sat down. Spot remained silent as Race chugged from his water bottle.
âI uh...had a date with Sarah, but she canceled,â Spot said, after a minute. âI saw you running so...I thought Iâd come and say hi. So...hi.â Race nodded, but stayed quiet. Another minute passed before Spot spoke again. âYou sure running isnât why they call you Racetrack? I still donât buy the whole betting reason.â
Race smiled and shook his head. âI mean, okay, yes, but Iâve been called Race since before I joined track.â Spot looked interested in learning more. âI was given the nickname by a childhood friend. He uhâŚâ Race laughed to himself as he thought about it. âHe lived across the street and would always see me running out of the house in a hurry. Said I reminded him of the horses at the racetrack.â It seemed like forever ago, and it brought up a lot of emotions in Race that heâd been trying to keep locked up. Emotions he didnât want to share with Spot.
âWhen I met Jojo,â he continued, âI jokingly introduced myself as Racetrack. And he spread that around until everyone, even the teachers called me Race. Then I joined track and now everyoneâs like, âI get it haha.ââ
Spot chuckled at that and then asked. âWhyâd you use to run out the house in a hurry?â
âOut of all the questions you could have asked, you had to ask that one.â Then again, Race probably would have responded the same way to any question. He wasnât really in a talking mood. Still, Spot distracted him from his thoughts and he needed a distraction. âWhy donât you tell me instead, how you got the name Spot. I donât buy the whole spotting at the gym reason.â
âAlright, the real reason is that Iâm pretty known for leaving a spot on your eye if you fuck with me,â Spot replied nonchalantly. They both burst into laughter after a beat. âNah, in reality, Jack Kelly gave me the name.â
âPresident of the gay club, Jack Kelly?â
âIs that what you call him every time you talk about him?â
âOnly every chance I get.â Race gave Spot a smug look, and Spot just sighed. They stared at each other a little too long before Spot turned away, looking a bit flushed. Race smiled to himself, but consequently frowned. He was feeling that spark again. âGo on with the story.â
âOh, uh...Right. Well. My uh...My mom...she used to uh...She has a temper. And sheâs a drinker. So she used to hit me. Iâd end up with bruises sometimes. But Iâve always been active and Iâd always find a way to hurt myself while I was out playing or something. So no one ever thought my mom wasâŚâ
âAbusive.â
âRight. Whatever. Iâd always play with Jack and he noticed all the...spots he called them. He started calling me Spot. And thing about Jack Kelly is that once heâs got a nickname for you...It sticks. I tried coming up with a nickname for him but...I was the only one who ever used it.â
âI used to have a nickname for Jack Kelly too.â
âPresident of the gay club, Jack Kelly?â
âYes, precisely, that Jack Kelly. I used to call him Daddy.â Spot groaned, which only made Raceâs smile widen. âYeah that was his response too.â Although Jack didnât have a problem with that nickname in the bedroom. âNot as bad as when I tried giving Crutchie Morris the nickname Puppy. He took a swing at me with his crutch.â
âIs that really what they call the crutch boy? Crutchie?â
âYouâll never guess who gave him that nickname.â
â...Jack Kelly?â
âPresident of the gay club, Jack Kelly.â
They both laughed again and let it die as they stared at each other. This time Spot made a move. Looking around to see if the coast was clear, he scoot closer to Race and took his hand. He intertwined their fingers and Race let him. There it was again. That feeling that excited Race, yet put him in a state of unease. It didnât help that the sun was setting.
âI uh...My dad was pretty abusive too,â Race admitted. âStill is. Heâs the reason I used to run out of the house. I trained myself to be fast. If he canât catch me, he canât hurt me.â Spot gave his hand a light squeeze and a slight caress with his thumb. âI...I still havenât come out to him out of fear that heâll...Well, worst case scenario he kills me. Best case scenario, I end up with...spots.â He laughed to himself and then looked at Spot. They made eye contact again before finally Race kissed him.
There were different kisses for different occasions. Every time Race made out with Spot, it was driven by sex. It was animalistic and messy and hot. But this kiss was different. It was gentle. It was soft. It was...romantic. Race found it hard not to give into that feeling.
He pulled away but couldnât keep his eyes from scanning Spotâs. Then, Race felt himself being pulled into a hug. There were a lot of thoughts running through his mind. Everything in his system was telling him to run, to pull the plug, to make a crude, offensive joke. He thought about telling Spot his new nickname was Bear because he was so cuddly and also gay and hairy. He thought about telling him that he was the only Spot he wanted on his body. He even thought about picking a fight again.
But he didnât do any of that. He leaned into the hug and enjoyed it. It wasnât as if he was lacking in hugs, but this specific hug was different. Just like the kiss was different. Just like the conversation was different. They were friends with benefits, but at the same time, they were more. And it scared Race, because the last time heâd felt those feelings, it had all ended in pain. And he never wanted to feel that again.
âHey Race?â Spot said after a few minutes of hugging.
âMmm?â
âRemember how you uh...blew me in the library?â
âYeahâŚâ
âDo you think...I could return the favor?â
âHell yeah.â
If he had to be honest, it wasnât the first time Race had done something sexual under the bleachers. But once again, it was different. Spot was special.
When they were done, they parted ways with a discreet kiss on the lips, and Race made his way to Jojoâs house. He had to cut his fight with Jojo short. He carefully climbed up to the second story where he tapped on Jojoâs window.
His best friend let him in with a, âOh, are we friends again?â Race shook his head and gave him a look as if to say he wasnât there to joke around.
He lay on Jojoâs bed for a few minutes, trying to clear his head of all the thoughts. Trying to process what his next move would be. Jojo sat next to him and patiently waited.
âSo...donât judge me,â Race finally spoke. âBut Iâve still been fooling around with Spot.â Jojo raised an eyebrow but didnât look surprised. âNow Iâm thinking though...I need to end it. I think...heâs starting to catch feelings. And I canât deal with that.â
Jojo sighed. Race knew that he probably wanted to lecture him, but he also knew that Jojo was the most supportive person heâd ever met. âEnd it then. Donât be too harsh, but end it.â
That was Raceâs plan when he went into school on Monday, but he was distracted by something he saw on the door of the little theatre.
Katherine didnât know why she did it, but every day she slept at her dadâs place, before she left for school, she took a look at the drawing Jack had made for her. She had put it on top of her chest of drawers so every time she changed, it was there staring back at her. Sheâd started out admiring it, and then hating it, and finally settling on trying to pick on every little glitch she could find. Every time she looked at it, she couldnât help but think something was wrong with it. She often thought of throwing it away, but she never did. She felt like it was her Dorian Gray picture.
At school, she finished up a meeting for the paper, and then sighed to herself as she thought about the drawing. She was staying at her fatherâs that night, so she knew the drawing would be there waiting for her. She knew Sarah would probably be interested in hanging out. Maybe they could go to Jacobiâs again.
âOh...sorry,â Sarah said when she asked her. âI have a date with Spot tonight.â
Katherine had noticed that Sarah seemed a little distant lately. She also knew that she and Spot were officially a couple. Katherine wondered if she was trying to stay away because Spot didnât like her. She had no problem with Spot not liking her, but she hated the idea of Spot asking Sarah to stay away from her because of it. Really, she hated most men at that point. David was the exception.
âWhat about you, David?â she asked him. âYou free to hang out tonight?â
He hesitated with his answer but shook his head. âI also have a date tonight.â
âOh?â She found this surprising, but she knew he was human after all. âWho with?â
He seemed to take even longer to respond and when he did, he mumbled. âJack Kelly.â
Katherine had trained herself to not react, but maybe not reacting was just as telling as if she had. âCool.â She hoped it was convincing and smiled to try to sell it. But she didnât ask any follow-up questions like how long theyâd been dating or how they even decided to. She didnât want to know and David was smart enough to realize that.
She began to collect her things, not even bothering to ask Bill or Darcy if they were free to hang out. The two boys left before Denton even had a chance to suggest Katherine ask them. She felt a presence behind her and turned to see Sarah there. Katherine hated seeing that look of pity in her eyes, though it quickly turned to determination.
âIâm canceling my date,â Sarah stated. âWeâre having a girlsâ night at my place.â
âSarah, noâŚâ
Sarah took her phone out and shook her finger at Katherine. âIâve already made up my mind. Iâm texting Spot and my parents as we speak.â
Katherine knew she couldnât say no. And she knew that there werenât a lot of people she couldnât say no to. Definitely not anyone else her age.
So off they went to Sarahâs place where she was properly introduced to Mayer and Esther Jacobs. They had dinner, which consisted of the Jacobs asking Katherine a lot of questions about herself, and Katherine ready to answer all of them.
After dinner, they went to Sarahâs room to hang out. Unfortunately, they didnât know what to do.
âDo you want to do each otherâs nails or braid each otherâs hair?â Sarah asked, playfully.
Katherine shook her head. Sheâd never been that type of girly girl that liked to dress up or look pretty. It was fine for her dadâs award ceremony, but glamming herself up just because it was any old day was not on her to-do list.
âWhat about a pillow fight?â Katherine gave Sarah a reproachful look. âJust thought Iâd ask.â Sarah giggled and then sat down on her bed next to Katherine. âHow are you feeling?â
Katherine was dreading this conversation. But she knew she had to have it. It was better to let her feelings out than let herself stew in her own pulpy juice. âFull. Your parents make a great brisket.â Now it was Sarahâs turn to give a reproachful look. Katherine sighed before nodding. âI donât know how I feel. Iâm trying not to think about it. I wanted to hang out to be distracted, but I shouldâve known youâd try to get me to talk about it.â
âThereâs nothing wrong with talking about it. Everyone has feelings.â
âI guess Iâm just not good at expressing mine.â
âNot everyone is. Unfortunately, we live in a society that thinks we need to keep everything hidden and appear happy and perfect all the time. Well, Kath, itâs okay to be sad and angry and imperfect. Especially around me. I mean, IâmâŚâ
Katherine noticed Sarah stopped herself to edit what she was going to say. She was familiar with that because sheâd seen a lot of people do it and learned from it. Katherine liked to pre-edit. She rarely had to trip over her own words because sheâd already planned them out.
âIâm not perfect,â Sarah finished, giving Katherine a kind smile.
But she kind of was. Sarah was the type of girl everyone wished they were. She was charismatic, she was beautiful, she knew how to defend herself. She was Mary Poppins, practically perfect in every way. She saw no flaw. She wondered if Sarah had her own Dorian Gray picture.
âOkay, you know what? Iâm gonna put some music on and then start painting your nails.â Sarah got up to play music from her laptop and Katherine sighed to herself. Had she made a mistake in coming here? Sheâd wanted to be distracted, but now she felt like she needed a distraction from the distraction.
Sarah ushered her to her desk and then brought out a case of perfectly organized nail lacquers. âIs this really what girls do?â
Sarah shrugged and frowned, putting the case down on the desk. âItâs what Iâve done with my girl friends.â
âI donât know. Iâd rather you teach me more self-defense really. Doing each otherâs nails and braiding each otherâs hair just...doesnât interest me.â
Sarah looked like she was hesitant. âYou should sign up for a class. I can only teach you so much.â
Katherine scoffed. âWhatâs wrong? I mean, I thought we were good. I thought we were friends. But you suddenly get a boyfriend and now itâs like...you donât want to be around me. Did Spot Conlon tell you to stop being my friend?â
âOf course not. He would never.â
âThen what is it? Youâre the only friend I have and now...Youâre acting like this fake friend. You know I donât like doing all this girly stuff. I know you do and thatâs fine, but you know that Iâm just not interested. And I feel like youâve been avoiding me. Did I...do something wrong?â
Sarah shook her head. She looked embarrassed.
Katherine felt bad about that. She was doing it again. She was pushing her friend away. Maybe sheâd been doing it subconsciously and now it was affecting Sarah so much that she didnât want to hang out with her anymore. Katherine had thought to put all the blame on Spot, but what if she was actually the one to blame? It wouldnât have been the first time sheâd pushed people away. Hell, she still kept Darcy and Bill at armâs length. âIâm sorry. I should go.â
âNo!â Sarah intervened. âYouâre right. Iâve been an asshole. Iâve been avoiding you...I just feel like...weâve gotten so close. Itâs scary.â
Katherine nodded. She knew what that was like. She trusted Sarah, but it was still hard to open up. Especially to someone whose opinion she cared about.
âSo, no girly stuff. What should we do?â
Katherine shrugged, but then grew a smile. âFuck the patriarchy. Letâs do guy stuff.â
âLike what? Throw a football around?â
âYeah. Or howâs âbout we play a game of poker?â
âOoh or a video game âcause girls donât play those.â
âOoh what if we go out, find a stick to whittle into a sword, and do some fencing?â
âBruh, letâs get our guitars and serenade some hot babes.â
âDoes your dadâs car need a tune-up?â
âYeah letâs fix it and then take our hogs out for a ride around town so everyone can see how cool we are.â
âVroom vroom!â
The girls couldnât contain their laughter and they fell onto the bed until they were able to simmer down. Sarah accidentally let her arm rest on Katherineâs abdomen, but before she could move it, Katherine grabbed her hand. She turned to stare at Sarah for a few seconds. The other girl seemed to go a little red.
âI think Iâm gonna be fine,â Katherine finally said. âI wasnât as much surprised that Jack was dating someone else, but more that it was your brother. But I guess I shouldnât have been. Weâre a lot alike. Jack certainly has a type.â Sarah laughed and then they got up.
Over the next few hours they decided to do as many dudely activities as they possibly could, including actually throwing a football around that had belonged to Sarah when she was younger. Katherine was surprised to learn that despite their joking, Sarah was completely into doing all the things they had ironically listed.
At around ten, Katherine checked her watch and realized it was getting late and she still had some homework to do. She quickly got her things, said her goodbyes and went out the front door...where she found Jack and David kissing.
The two boys separated and both remained quiet as they saw who had interrupted them.
Katherine was surprised for the second time that day. Not at the two boys kissing, but at herself. She thought she would feel some kind of anger or some kind of bitterness, but instead she felt like laughing. Just the thought of seeing David happy, made her happy. And as much as she resented Jack, seeing him happy also put a smile on her face.
Jack and David seemed surprised themselves at her reaction. âDavid. Jack. Have a good night boys.â
She walked down to the gate before hearing footsteps behind her. She turned to see Jack approaching. David was still waiting on the porch.
âHey, Kath. I saw the paper. The article about getting over people.â She nodded, urging him to go on. âI know Sarah wrote it but...I know you had to approve it and...I think that was great. And that youâre great.â
Katherine gave him a genuine smile and then softly punched him in the arm. âThanks, Kelly. Iâll see you in class on Monday. Donât leave your guy waiting.â
âRight. Nighty-night, Plumber.â
When Katherine got back home, she looked at the portrait Jack had drawn and realized why sheâd tried to nitpick it so much. The girl in the picture was strong and confident and resilient, whereas Katherine hadnât felt that way about herself in a while. But she was back. Now, she would look at that portrait and see herself. âDorian Gray can suck it.â
Still, when she got to school on Monday, the graffiti on the door of the little theatre made her feel shaky.
âI am not riding on your motorcycle.â
âStill no?â Jack asked, putting down the helmet heâd offered Davey.
âStill no. I prefer to keep my life, thank you very much.â
âHey, Iâm a great driver. Iâve never been in an accident. Even Crutchie rides with me all the time.â
âDoes he?â
âYeah. I originally got the second helmet for him.â It had always surprised him how Crutchie was so for riding with him. He recalled Crutchie had even been the one to convince him to get a motorcycle. Jack had been dead set against it, but after some coaxing from Crutchie, he gave in. Their first ride together had kind of cemented a trusting bond between them.
âSo itâs Crutchieâs helmet.â
âHe can share,â Jack said with a laugh.
Davey reached out his hand and Jack handed the helmet over. He put his own on and then got on the bike. He looked at Davey and couldnât help but think it was adorable that he looked so nervous. The boy got on but hesitated when he didnât know where to put his hands. Jack took Daveyâs arms and wrapped them around his body.
âHold on tight.â Jack started the bike and he felt Davey flinch a little. âHold on tighter.â Davey did so and then they were off. They decided to go to Jacobiâs again because it was a classic. They ordered their food and sat down. âSo, how was the ride?â
Davey shrugged. âIt was alright. Less scary than I thought itâd be. But you were probably trying to be extra safe for me.â
Jack smiled at that. âI was trying to ease you into it. Iâm not a throw-you-into-the-deep-end kind of guy. I care about you.â
âI care about you too.â He reached out to grab Jackâs hand. âWhich is why I think you should drive a safer vehicle.â They both laughed.
When the food came, they ate and talked about their hopes and dreams. Jack learned that Davey wanted to go into law to help people, but admitted the money was also a draw. Jack told Davey that he wanted to move out west to New Mexico to learn more about his culture since his mother was a Navajo descendant.
âNot sure if Iâll go for college, or wait âtil after. I just have this image in my head of living in this Pueblo style house...or apartment, whatever. Iâm in my studio painting and I take a break to have a margarita and sit by the pool, where Crutchieâs been relaxing on his coyote floatieâŚâ
âCrutchieâs there?â
Jack had been more concerned with Davey questioning why there was a coyote floatie, that he hadnât even thought that maybe bringing up Crutchie wasnât the best idea. After his conversation with Sarah, he had kindly asked Crutchie to decline any of Daveyâs invitations to their dates. Crutchie naturally obliged, saying heâd been starting to feel like a third wheel anyway. Now, Jack felt like heâd brought Crutchie on the date anyway.
âCrutchieâs family so yeah,â he replied, trying to think of the best way to put it. âHe doesnât really have any ambitions of his own. Or rather, he wonât tell me. So I told him about this dream and then I suggested he come with me. Doesnât mean itâs going to happen. I just like the idea of him somewhere I can watch over him and make sure heâs safe. If uh...you and me get serious, I might start imagining you there tooâŚâ
Davey became attentive at Jackâs words and opened his mouth. After a couple of seconds, âYou and I,â was what he said.
âYeah, thatâs what I meant.â
After they finished eating, Jack still couldnât shake the thought that Davey was still worried about Crutchie getting between them. They were supposed to play games, but he suddenly had a better idea. âHey, do you wanna go for a ride with me? Itâll be fun, I promise.â
Davey shrugged, but he looked interested. They got back on the bike and rode for a while. Jack could feel Davey relaxing behind him, and he hoped he found this at least somewhat romantic. They reached a park in front of a large hill and Jack finally stopped.
Davey looked around and asked, âAre we going hiking?â Jack nodded. âIsnât it a little late?â
âIf we reach the top fast enough, we might be able to finish catching the sunset.â
âIâm not running. You should ask Race how bad I am at running. I bet Iâm even worse uphill.â
âWe can walk then. I just thought itâd be nice to bring you here. Iâve never brought anyone here.â Heâd thought of bringing Crutchie many times, but he knew Crutchie would get tired easily and it would be a trip not just going up, but coming back down. âI donât know if you like hiking but the view at the top is beautiful.â
âI love hiking. Never done an evening hike though. So Iâm not sure how I feel about it yet.â
âIâm here to protect you,â Jack replied, putting his arm around the taller boy. âTrust me.â
They spent the next half hour or so walking a trail up the hill with little talking. By the time they got to the top, Davey was out of breath. Jack felt bad he hadnât brought water with them, but he made a mental note to get some on their way back.
There was a bench at the top of the hill, or rather, a couple of bricks with a wooden board over, to sit on. The sun had mostly set but it was still visible. Davey sat down and looked at the horizon in awe. Jack looked at Davey and held his hand.
They sat there until it was completely dark, with the moonlight glowing over everything. Davey looked over at Jack and Jack did the same. It wasnât long before they were kissing. This time longer than before, and much more intense.
Jack wondered if he was giving Davey his first French kiss and that excited him. He ran his fingers through Daveyâs hair and down the back of his neck, onto his shoulders. He explored Davey down his biceps, grazing his nipple on his way to the abdomen. Daveyâs hands were at his side until Jack reached the brim of his pants. He grabbed Jackâs hands, broke the kiss and said, âSlow down there, cowboy.â
It took Jack by surprise. Not that Davey had stopped him but that heâd called him⌠âCowboy?â
âItâs a saying.â
âRight.â
He noticed something in the way Davey was looking at him, as if he thought heâd ruined something. âIâm sorry, I just...Iâm not ready for anything...below the belt.â
âNo, Davey, thatâs fine. I just was caught off guard by...Cowboy.â
Davey laughed at that. âDo you prefer Rancher?â
âI mean, only if itâs jolly.â
âAre you jolly?â
âRight now I am.â
They smiled at each other and Jack thought they were going to kiss again, but instead Daveyâs eyes widened. âWhat time is it? I need to get home.â
âShit, yeah, I should get you home.â
It was a bit harder going back down the hill in the dark, but Jack had a small flashlight on his keychain to guide them. Once they were back in the parking lot, they drank some water from the water fountain before hopping back on the bike. Whereas before, Jack had been driving extra carefully, now he raced to get Davey back home. He thought Davey would object but the other boy just held on tighter. Halfway there, Jack thought he heard a, âWoo!â
They got to Daveyâs house and he walked him to the door. âSo am I approved for another date?â
âIf youâve got more beautiful views up your sleeve, then yeah,â Davey responded.
âI mean, Iâm looking at one right now.â His eyes lingered on Daveyâs and they kissed again. Thatâs when Katherine came out.
After his chat with her, Jack went back to Davey and this time they said their goodbyes, sharing another quick kiss before he left.
Jack got on his bike and felt like he was on top of the world as he rode home. He always had his worries when he was dating someone new. With Race, it was more spontaneous than anything. There wasnât a lot of thinking required. With Katherine, he had to put in more effort, because he had to convince her to date him and then had to figure out how to work around her busy schedule. Now with Davey, he could tell it was going to take some time to get him to trust him, but he was willing to put in the time. Or so he thought.
When he parked in front of the building where he lived, he immediately called Crutchie to find out where he was. Every time he went on a date, he had to tell Crutchie about it. âPenthouse,â was the reply.
He got to the roof and saw Crutchie lying on a lawn chair with a blanket. âHave you been there since you got home?â Crutchie shook his head and pat the chair so Jack could lay with him. Jack lay down behind Crutchie and then put the blanket over both of them. They both linked hands and got comfortable. Theyâd done this many times before.
âI just came up to watch the sunset,â Crutchie replied. âAnd I guess I got lost in my thoughts. I was gonna go to the bar, but this is nice too.â
Jack gave Crutchieâs hand a squeeze and pressed a kiss on the back of his neck. There was a time when Crutchie used to shiver when he did that, but now there was barely any reaction.
Crutchie was so easy to get along with, especially since he just understood him like no one else did. Jack wondered if he could ever be completely honest, if he and Crutchie would survive. And if they did, he wondered how things would change between them. As much as he really liked Davey, Crutchie had a space in his heart that would never go away.
Even when he was seeing Race, and when he was dating Katherine, he always imagined living in Santa Fe with Crutchie. Even now with Davey, it was still just the two of them. He knew it was just a dream and it wouldnât necessarily come true, so it didnât worry him much that he never saw anyone else with him. After all, he was with Crutchie when heâd thought of it. He figured heâd eventually come up with another one and Davey would be in it. Even though neither Race, nor Katherine had made it far enough to have a dream future fantasy.
âTell me about your date,â Crutchie said softly, a hint of interest in his voice.
Jack proceeded to tell him, but he wasnât as excited about it as before. Afterward, they continued talking until they fell asleep in each otherâs arms. When the sun came up, Jack woke up and couldnât help thinking that his favorite place to wake up was with his arms around Crutchie. He was smiling to himself before the thought of Davey came into his head.
He carefully got up, trying not to wake Crutchie. He succeeded and covered the smaller boy with the blanket, taking a few seconds to watch him sleep. He needed to stop. He was dating Davey and it wasnât fair to him to be thinking about someone else. He needed to spend less time with Crutchie and more time with Davey. But how was he going to tell that to Crutchie? He told himself heâd sleep on it through the weekend.
On Monday, Jack was distracted by his still conflicted thoughts, that he didnât notice a group huddled around the door to the little theatre until Crutchie pointed it out. They walked over, wondering if it had to do with the Drama Club, or the LGBTQ+ Club.
They both grew visibly upset as they saw what the commotion was all about. Over the door of the classroom, someone had graffitied the word, âFAGGOTSâ. One of the Gs had gotten onto the LGBTQ+ Club flyer.
Jack, Katherine, and Race were all livid. Someone was going to pay.
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Chapter 13 - Oversies
Happy 4th of July! Or if youâre not from the United States, happy Wednesday! In this chapter, Sarah goes around the school trying to find out how to get over someone. Enjoy.
Or read on AO3 if you prefer.
How To Get Over Someone
The title was the easiest thing. The hardest part was how to write it. Sarah hadnât meant for it to be an article at first. In fact, she read some articles online written about the subject before she decided to ask someone in real life.
It seems like nowadays everyone is trying to get over someone. Be it a boyfriend, girlfriend, best friend, crush, family member, etc. itâs not an easy feat but itâs possible over time.
The first person she talked to was David. She walked into his room where he was studying at his desk. She lay on the bed and wondered aloud, âHow do you get over someone?â
David turned in his chair and stared, not knowing if she was being serious. âIf I knew, I probably wouldnât have started dating Jack.â
âRight,â she replied, frowning a bit.
âDid something happen with you and Spot Conlon? I knew that guy was bad newsâŚâ
âCalm down. This isnât about him. Itâs aboutâŚâ It was about her really. She couldnât stop thinking about her incident with Katherine. They hadnât continued their self defense training because Sarah had told her she was busy with schoolwork. Sheâd been trying to keep her distance, but Katherine had really started to warm up to her. âItâs about your friend Crutchie.â
David had been trying to keep Crutchie from being a third wheel by including him in whatever activities he was doing with Jack. It was almost as if he was putting a pause on dating Jack just to make Crutchie comfortable. He had invited them both for dinner and everything went well. Except apparently now there was something going on with Crutchie. âOh. Did he...did he tell you about...him and Jack?â
âWhat about him and Jack?â She was confused by the question, having been talking about Jojoâs crush on Crutchie. She never stopped to think that⌠âWait, Crutchie has a thing for Jack?â
âYou didnât know.â
âNo, I didnâtâŚâ
He felt stupid for even bringing it up. He knew it was a secret and now heâd told his sister. âDonât tell him I told you. And donât tell anyone. I like him. Heâs a good guy.â
âIs that why you were acting so weird at dinner? Does Jack know? How long have you known?â
âGreat, so I was acting weird. Do you think they noticed? Ugh. Sarah...I donât know how to deal with this.â
âTalk to me.â
He told her what had happened at the party in the closet with Crutchie and the conversation theyâd had during lunch. And then he told her about his worries. âI donât know if Jack knows or how he feels about Crutchie. Theyâre always so...close. There were times when Iâve thought they were secretly a couple, but now I know thatâs not true. I just...What if Jack feels the same about Crutchie but nothingâs happened because they wonât talk about it? What if Iâm in the way of this epic romance thatâs supposed to happen between them?â
âOkay, Dave, stop. Jack is dating you. If he wanted to date Crutchie, he would. Heâs not exactly subtle. He could have anyone he wanted and he clearly wants you.â Sarah had to make this clear to David even though she wasnât a hundred percent sure of her words. She just needed him to stop worrying long enough to clarify things with Jack.
âWhat if Jack and Crutchie start dating and Iâm the third wheel? I mean, imagine how he feels watching someone he loves be with someone else he considers a friend? How would he get over Jack? How would I get over Jack?â
Sarah had no real response other than trying to get him to see that that wouldnât happen. As much as she tried, she was only able to calm him down enough to get back to studying.
There seem to be people who think itâs something that can be over and done with quickly. If youâre on the rebound, thereâs no possible time to feel bad about the loss, right? But getting over someone by replacing them doesnât work. How can you equate one relationship with a person and another relationship with a different person? No matter who it is with, each individual relationship is different. You canât replace one person with another as if it was a job position to be filled.
The next person she asked was Spot. He was caught off guard by the question. They were sitting together at lunch without the rest of the posse again. âHow do you get over someone?â she repeated.
âLike...dying?â He was trying to be funny, but Sarah shook her head. âRomantically?â She nodded.
It was a good question. Spot couldnât help but think about Race and how heâd been trying to get over him. Unfortunately, Race just wasnât someone heâd been able to shake.
Earlier in the week, theyâd met up at the library so that Spot could break things off, but things didnât go according to plan.
âThis is a weird place to make out, but Iâm down,â Race said. âWe might have to be extra quiet though.â
Spot looked around to make sure no one was around. It was like second nature to him now. âRace, Iâm not here to make out with you. Iâm here toâŚâ His face said it all. âWe canât do this anymore.â
âYouâre here to end this?â
âYeah. I just...I have a girlfriend now. And I canât be with her and...be kissing you. You know?â
âThen stop seeing her and kiss me instead.â
âNo, Race, youâre not getting it. I like Sarah. She doesnât deserve this.â
âYou lying to her? No, she doesnât deserve it. But you donât either.â Race got close and Spot had to lightly push him back. âSpot. You say you like Sarah and you obviously like me. But I donât see you sneaking around with her to make out in hidden locations.â
âThatâs cause weâre not hidden. Iâve kissed her in non-hidden locations.â
âYeah, and thatâs all you do. A peck here and there. Iâve seen you two and Iâve seen more chemistry between Jojo and sangria. You donât make out with her like you do with me. You donât touch herâŚâ He took Spotâs hand and placed it on his ass. â...Like you touch me.â
Spot snapped his hand back. âRegardless. Sheâs my girlfriend and youâre justâŚâ
âWhat? A side piece?â Spot opened his mouth to retort, but Race didnât even look bothered. âCall me a biscuit, I donât care. Iâll be a side piece. As long as youâre the one eating.â
Spot didnât know how he felt about that. Well, other than feeling aroused. And Race knew it too.
âHave you ever gotten a blowjob, Spot Conlon?â
Spot couldnât respond to that. It was like his body was taking over his mind.
âCâmon. Let me show you something you canât get from Sarah.â Race pulled Spot by the hand and soon they were in the library bathroom, doing something they shouldnât have been doing in a library bathroom.
Spot shrugged his shoulders and his recollections away. He turned to Sarah to reply, âIâve never had a girlfriend before so I donât know what getting over one is like.â
âWhat about like...a best friend?â
âGetting over a best friend?â He thought about how he and Jack used to be really close. âYou just...get on with your life. Pretend they donât exist.â
âThat doesnât sound like a way to get over someone,â she said. âSounds more like denial than anything.â
âWell, if you ever broke up with me, I think Iâd want to deny it as much as possible,â Spot joked.
Sarah smirked at him. She still didnât have an answer to her question.
Then there are those who prefer to pretend the relationship never happened. Like the person never existed. If it never happened, then thereâs no reason to feel bad. This also fails to work because all youâre doing is repressing feelings that are going to come out anyway. In order to get over someone, you have to think about all those feelings. Getting over someone isnât a fast process. The longer and closer someone is with you, the longer it takes to let go of them.
Sarah spent her next few lunches going around the school and doing sort of a lunch survey on the subject. She talked to Romeo who she thought could give her some insight since every time she saw him, he was flirting with someone new. Unfortunately, he had no clue seeing as how he never got attached to anyone. Specs, who was next to him, seemed to get offended at that statement so Sarah asked him. He told her the best way to get over someone was to get under someone else. Romeo challenged him with a, âYeah, you do that,â and then they both started arguing. Sarah left it at that and moved on.
She talked to Tommy Boy and Hot Shot while Spot was in the bathroom one lunch. Hot Shot said he got over people by focusing all his energy on sports, while Tommy Boy told her he focused on eating and building muscle. She declined the beef jerky they offered her.
The whole time, she had been taking notes, so one lunch she decided to go to the computer lab to write everything down and see if she could organize it into something coherent. Bill and Darcy were there editing an article for the paper, trying to beat Katherineâs deadline.
âHey, have you two ever had girlfriends?â she asked as she sat down next to them. They looked at each other and then shook their heads. âBoyfriends?â Bill snorted and shook his head, while Darcy just scowled. âNevermind then.â
âWhyâd you ask?â Bill pondered curiously.
âIâve been asking around, how do you get over someone?â
âOh.â Bill thought for a second before answering. âWell, I may not have experience with a girlfriend, but Iâve had plenty of crushes Iâve had to get over before.â
âAnd how did you get over them?â
âTime,â he answered with a shrug. âThatâs the best way I can put it. Like, me and Darcy both used to have big crushes on Katherine.â A groan was heard coming from Darcy. âBut we both learned to respect her and now...I mean, I wouldnât say no if she asked me out, but I can say Iâm glad I can be her friend.â
âOr as close to friends as we can be,â Darcy spoke.
âAre you still not over her?â Sarah asked. Billâs was honestly the best response sheâd gotten so far, especially since it was regarding Katherine. But she was curious about Darcyâs point of view. If Bill was the positive end of things, maybe Darcy was the more negative.
âNo, Iâm over her. And I respect her too. I just donât think she and I have that much in common. My so called crush on her was mostly based on looks. Letâs just say I mostly know her through her writing, and it doesnât give me much insight seeing as how she tries to stay unbiased. I try to forget I had a crush on her because it doesnât make sense to me. I remember it, but I donât remember the feelings.â
âRight,â Sarah replied. She went on to organize her notes, all the while thinking about what Darcy had said. Katherine was beautiful, so was it a purely physical attraction that she had to her? Was it even an attraction? Maybe it had just been a fluke and she was just worrying about nothing. Maybe she would be like Darcy one day and wonder why she ever felt that way.
A lot of times thereâs a case of arrested development. Iâm talking about the people who spend too much time thinking about the lost relationship. Maybe they imagine what could have been done differently, or what if they were still together. And then they refuse to let anyone new into their life. That doesnât work either because itâs the exact opposite of moving on.
Later that day, she decided to stop thinking about the whole ordeal and instead deal with someone elseâs drama for a change. âCan I ask you something serious?â There was nothing interesting going on in chemistry class, so Sarah figured it was the perfect time to have a conversation with Jack.
He looked a little wary, but he nodded.
âIâm just gonna come right out and say it...You and Crutchie...Is there something there?â
Jack looked taken aback, but then laughed it off. âSarah, Iâm dating your brother.â
âI know, but...Itâs just that you and Crutchie are so close. I was just wondering if thatâs like a brotherly thing or if thereâs ever been more.â
âItâs a brotherly thing.â That was the easiest answer at least.
âSo...thereâs nothing there at all? Youâve never been into him in a more than a friendship kind of way?â
He sighed, looking down at the worksheet he was supposed to be completing. He could choose to leave it at that. Or he could tell her part of the truth.
âSorry, I wonât push it.â Sarah looked down at her own work, hoping she didnât cross a line with her questioning.
âI wonât say Iâve never thought about it.â He thought it wouldnât hurt to be honest. He figured Davey was the reason she was asking and if he could make Davey feel more comfortable, it would benefit everyone. âCrutchieâs been my best friend for a while now and...Well, heâs been my best friend far too long for anything to happen between us. And heâs already been through so much. Iâm sure he can barely deal with me as a friend...Anything more would just be too much for him. It wouldnât end well.â
âBut youâre not too much for David?â
âDaveyâs different. He can handle me.â Or at least the parts of him that Crutchie couldnât handle. âAnd Daveyâs justâŚâ He smiled, thinking about him. âI really like him, Sarah. Heâs so smart and handsome and...I can see a future with him.â
Sarah seemed satisfied with that answer, but there was a part of Jack that was still stuck on Crutchie. It wasnât that Crutchie couldnât handle him, really. It was that Jack couldnât be completely honest with him. Because if he was, he would lose Crutchie forever. And if there was anything Jack wouldnât be able to handle, it was losing Crutchie. Race and Katherine never amounted to what he had with Crutchie, and he wondered if Davey ever would. Only one other person had ever come close, but heâd let that ship sink long ago.
Sarah went home that night and worked more on the notes. She was halfway through when she realized what she was doing was writing an article. This revelation made her more excited and she had a spark of inspiration. She finished it, gave it a quick edit, and then took a chance. She emailed it to Katherine before getting ready for bed. Hopefully in the morning, sheâd receive good news.
But there are steps you can take to head in the right direction. The most important is being open to meeting new people. Again, not as a replacement, but as a new point of view, a new experience, a new hope. Maybe youâll discover something in this new relationship that you were lacking in the last one. Or perhaps, youâll find this new person has something you really enjoyed in the last one. Meeting new people isnât everything, though. Just because you had one loss, doesnât mean everyone around you is also a loss. Confiding in friends you already have also helps.
Sarah woke up the next day with not texts and no email back. She was worried all the way to school, and even asked David to check in with Katherine during their English class. All she got was a text from David saying, âShe wants to talk to you during lunch.â And that just made Sarah even more nervous.
At lunch, she cautiously approached the computer lab. Katherine waved her over as soon as she saw her and Sarah wondered if she should have been relieved. She sat next to her and Katherine turned her chair to make direct eye contact. She took Sarahâs hands, making Sarah even more nervous.
âThank you.â
Sarah didnât know what that meant. But she couldnât help but keep staring into Katherineâs beautiful brown eyes. She could bury herself in them if she let herself. âYouâre welcome?â
Katherine took her hands back and turned to her computer. Sarah saw she had her article pulled up, except it was on the school paper template. âI know you wrote this for me in hopes that Iâd get over Jack. And trust me, Iâm working on it. This is really insightful. It helps. And I think it can help other people...Denton already cleared it so...Iâm putting it on this weekâs paper if you donât mind.â
âIâŚâ It was the last thing that she expected. Sheâd only sent it to Katherine because she had wanted Katherineâs approval. She hadnât even been thinking about Katherineâs feelings for Jack. And she certainly hadnât been thinking about actually submitting the article for the paper. It was just that once she realized she was writing an article, she associated articles with Katherine, and it was a no-brainer to send it to her. Everything after that was just what Sarah considered lucky. âI donât mind at all.â
Which brings about the next step: being open to releasing your feelings. If youâre not willing to talk to someone about it, maybe thereâs a different way to go about it. Thatâs what art is for. You could draw out your pain with a drawing, or in the form of music or dance. Even sports is a great way to relieve stress.
On Friday morning, Sarah felt lucky again when she found Jojo before school. Sheâd decided to help Bill and Darcy disperse the paper, so she had a stack in her hands. âJojo!â she called and the boy turned on the bench he was sitting at to look for his caller.
âHey Sarah, whatâs up?â
âI know you probably thought I was joking, but as a reporter, I thought it my duty to try and answer your question.â
Jojo had been trying to forget anything about Crutchie, so he didnât remember what she was talking about. Then she handed him one of the school papers and pointed at a specific article. âOh, wow.â
âYeah, I hope it helps.â
âThanks, Sarah. This means a lot.â
âNo problem! Just keep giving me good ideas for articles,â she replied with a giggle, before setting off to finish distributing the papers.
Jojo was left alone to read the article. It had varying thoughts, but the main takeaway of the article for him was that getting over someone took time. It was a bit cliche but Jojo appreciated it. He decided to focus on that concept rather than just trying to avoid thoughts of Crutchie. If he constantly thought that heâd eventually get over Crutchie, it was bound to happen.
At lunch, he met up with Race and he handed him the paper, having highlighted the article for him. Race sped through it and Jojo saw his friendâs face go from a curious smile, to a frown, to a leer. He practically slammed the paper against Jojoâs chest as he shook his head.
âThat was stupid.â
âRace...you...you didnât think it made a lot of sense?â
âNo, it put too much emphasis on what not to do.â
âWell, yeah but towards the end it gave suggestions.â
Race blew a raspberry at Jojo and gave him a thumbs down.
âThis isnât because itâs written by Sarah, is it?â
âI donât even really know the girl, I have no grudge against her.â
âBut sheâs Spotâs girlfriend. I know that you and Spot...were seeing each other. Youâre not still seeing each other, are you?â
âCalm down...No, weâre not. He broke it off. And we werenât seeing each other. We were just fooling around.â
The way Race had brushed it off as if it was nothing made Jojo suspect that he was lying. He wouldnât have been surprised since it hadnât been the first time Race had lied to him. Thing was, with Race, he always found out eventually. Still, Jojo didnât doubt that Spot had at least tried to break it off. And then he had to remind himself that at the end of the day, it was none of his business.
âFine. But I think the article has a point. With the whole time thing. And RaceâŚâ Jojo put his hand firmly on Raceâs shoulder. âI think youâve had enough time.â
âWhat are you talking about?â
âYou know who Iâm talking about.â
Race shoved Jojoâs hand off of him and stood up. âYou shut the fuck up. You know Iâve moved on. Iâve been with plenty of guys since andâŚâ
âYouâve had plenty of friends with benefits, you mean.â
âEven so, Jojo, there are some wounds that time just doesnât heal. I donât expect you to get it, but...donât use this stupid article to try to tell me when and how I should move on. Fuck you.â Raceâs face was red and his eyes were starting to water. Jojo took that as a sign to leave it alone. Race was right. It wasnât his decision.
The truth is, there is no surefire way of getting over someone. It just takes time. And the thing about time is that it keeps moving. So the best way to move on is to get up, dust yourself off, and follow along with time. You donât have to keep up, but you have to try. Once you try, just go at your own pace, one step at a time. There may come a day when you look in a mirror and realize that enough time has passed. You might be surprised to learn youâve already moved on.
The article made it around the school for the next week, helping some people, while provoking discussion in others. Even though Sarah didnât find any particular answer she was looking for on her quest of trying to figure out how to get over someone, she was still glad she looked. She was confused, but she was happy and thatâs all that mattered.
Unfortunately, every high has its come down.
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Chapter 12 - Pridesies
I named this chapter Pridesies mostly because of pride month but it works with the story. In this chapter, Crutchie talks to Davey about Jack, Sarah talks to Spot about feeling fake, and Jojo unexpectedly meets Sarah. Happy Pride!
Or read on AO3 if you prefer.
When Crutchie found out that Jack had gone out on a date with Davey, it came as a surprise. Heâd thought Davey would heed his warnings. Heâd thought Jack would finally stick to his instincts and not jump into dating someone new so fast. But most of all, he was surprised that he wasnât completely heartbroken.
Maybe heâd just gotten used to all the times Jack had moved on to someone new. Maybe he actually believed that no matter how many people Jack was with, he wouldnât find someone that stuck. It was terrible way to think, but it was the only way Crutchie knew heâd be okay.
If he was being completely honest, he was a bit sad that after things inevitably ended, he most likely wouldnât hang out with Davey anymore. Heâd grown to like the guy. Heâd also grown to like Katherine, but once she was done with Jack, she was done with him too. For the brief period that Jack had had a thing with Race...well Race hadnât shown much interest in getting to know Crutchie, so he didnât really care for him either. Unluckily for him, Jojo had shown plenty of interest that Crutchie didnât reciprocate.
Crutchie sat on a chair at his and Jackâs rooftop, which theyâd designated as their Penthouse. Jack retold his date as Crutchie listened, paying attention for any sign that could mean Jack and Davey wouldnât last long. He found it interesting that Davey was a bit slow with the more physical aspects, but he figured that was just a Davey thing.
âDonât fuck it up,â was all he could tell Jack after he was done with his story. Crutchie felt like he had so much wisdom regarding relationships despite never having been in one. Unknown to anyone but Jack, he was also still a virgin. His dating app usage was all on the app itself. Heâd been tempted to meet up with some of the guys he talked to but always chickened out. All his âwisdomâ came from watching tv, which heâd started doing religiously when he was in the hospital dealing with his bad leg. Of course, television wasnât the greatest teacher.
Days later at school, he was at lunch with Jack, reading comments on the subreddit for one of his favorite shows, when Davey sat with them as usual. Except this time his desk was pulled up next to Jack, rather than equally between the two of them. Crutchie noticed this, but didnât say anything. He also didnât say anything when he saw Jackâs pinky wrap around Daveyâs.
No, it didnât break his heart. It boiled his blood. He knew jealousy was a terrible quality to have, but he knew thatâs what it was. And he wondered why it couldnât have been him. Crutchie knew he was a nice enough guy. He knew he was attractive. The crutch and the bad leg were not ideal, but they werenât a dealbreaker. So why didnât Jack ever go for him?
Jack got up to go to the bathroom and Crutchie was left alone with Davey. They spoke in unison.
âSo you two are dating.â
âHey I have to clarify something.â
âGo on,â Crutchie replied, curious as to what Davey wanted to clarify.
âI know you think Jackâs relationships or whatever donât end well. And I know you...have a thing for Jack. And I know you two are best friends. And...I just want you to know, Iâm not trying to get in the way of your friendship. I mean, I honestly consider you just as much as a friend to me as Jack is.â
And yet Jack was the one he was dating. Even with other guys, Jack was always the one they had crushes on. Except Jojo. But Jojo just wasnât Crutchieâs type. He thought he was friendly but annoying. And in the end, he just didnât like him.
âBasically, what Iâm saying is...Iâm sorry,â Davey finished. âI never in a million years thought that Jack would ever think of me as more than a friend so...Iâm sorry. I care about your feelings too and I donât want things to be awkward between us. Or to make things awkward between you and Jack. Honestly, if youâre not okay with this, just tell me and Iâll break things off with Jack. You friendship means more to me than...whatever it is between me and Jack. Really.â
Crutchie knew that if he wanted to, he could seduce Jack. Just as much as he knew he could meet with a rando on one of his dating apps. He knew if he wanted to, he could manipulate Davey into backing off of Jack. He knew he could be even more dramatic and wait until Jack and Davey were a full-fledged couple, and then break them up scandalously. But he also knew that he wouldnât do that. Not to Davey. Especially not to Jack.
âDavey, itâs fine,â he responded after a second. âIâm happy for you two really. I was worried that you two wouldnât work out but...you seem to be doing fine. He really likes you and I can tell you like him a lot too. Itâs great when things work out like that. You guys make a cute couple.â He gave Davey his most sincere smile and held up his fist for a bump. Davey smiled back and bumped his fist.
Jack came back and they got into a conversation about the show Crutchie was reading up on. Midway through, he saw Jack trying to reach for Daveyâs hand but Davey pull away. Crutchie hadnât meant to create any kind of friction, but he could tell he had and internally he was a bit happy about it and proud of himself. He could already see cracks in the romance. Still, he knew that was the jealousy talking. He really did like Davey, and he just hoped that if and when this thing with Jack ended, that it wouldnât be too explosive. Davey was interesting.
Sarah felt like the queen of the world. Or of the school at least. Even without Spot, his posse surrounded her like a blockade of bodyguards. They were nice to her since sheâd done several articles on them. She already knew Tommy Boy and Hot Shot from previous wrestling meets and Jojoâs party. They all offered her several protein snacks, some of which she took.
She was still getting used to the crowd and she wondered how Spot was able to do it. She wondered if they would all go away if she asked them to. But she didnât want to seem rude, so she just went along with it. For now anyway.
She and the posse walked to Spotâs table during lunch. Ever since she kissed him publicly, sheâd been sitting with him at lunch and enjoying the perks of being with the toughest guy in school. If only they knew she was the toughest girl in school. Spot was already at the table with a few of the other wrestling guys that werenât with her. When she sat down next to him, she heard them talking about...wrestling. Spot didnât seem as interested. He smiled at her and gave her a peck on the lips. It was sweet.
She shouldâve been happy. Except this all seemed fake. Even looking at Spot she could tell he didnât seem happy. Was happiness the price she had to pay for popularity? Was she willing to pay it?
Sarah leaned close to Spot and whispered in his ear, almost jokingly, âIs there a way to get rid of them?â
He could tell she wasnât joking. âHey, everyone! Leave! Me and my girl need some privacy.â
The boys stopped talking and picked up their lunch trays, leaving the table and heading in different directions, looking for another place to sit.
âYour girl, huh?â
âI donât think they all know your name. Itâs just easier that way.â He gulped down some water, knowing they were about to have a serious conversation. He knew it had to happen sooner or later. Especially with him and Race getting closer. âSo uh whatâs up?â
She didnât know what to say. She had so many thoughts in her head that she couldn't organize. Where was a good place to start? âDo you ever feel like youâre being fake?â
He wanted to tell her he felt that all the time, but instead he just nodded.
âLike, you never really know who youâre hanging out with or why theyâre hanging out with you because they know as much as you do about them? Even with you, I feel like I know you but...I donât really know a lot about you.â
Spot remained silent, knowing full well that it was true. She didnât fully know him and who he was. And as much as he and Sarah clicked, he supposed there was a lot about her he had yet to learn.
âLike, everyone seems to think that youâre part of a gang and you beat people up, and I know thatâs not true, but...it could be true and I just donât know.â
âItâs not true,â he said with a quiet laugh. âPeople exaggerate.â
âBut like, whatâs that based on? You know? Why would people think that? Not that itâs any of my business, but itâd be nice to know.â
âRight, well. I beat up a guy once. Just once. It was...regrettable.â
âOh. What for?â
âUh...trying to kiss me.â
âOh.â That scared her. She knew she wasnât a guy. But would Spot see her that way if he knew she was trans? She couldnât help but wonder if when sheâd kissed him in front of his posse, it wouldâve gone a different way had he known.
âThat was a long time ago though,â Spot said, realizing heâd struck a nerve with Sarah. âI wouldnât react the same today.â He was being truthful, as he had managed to not hit Race when heâd kissed him. Although, maybe that didnât count because heâd been the one to kiss Race. âIâve got better control of my anger. I have gay friends now so Iâve become more...tolerant, I think is the word.â
âRight,â she smiled at him. But it was one thing to be cool with the gays and another thing to be cool with the trans folk. âWhat if it was a bit more complicated than that?â
âLike what?â
âLike what if...a trans girl tried to kiss you?â
âA trans girl? Like a girl with aâŚâ
âA girl who was born with a male body.â
âI mean...I wouldnât beat a girl up.â
âBut would you be okay with kissing her? I mean, if you liked her?â
Spot had never thought about that. It truly was a complicated question for him. He knew he liked guys. And he knew he wanted to like girls. If he was ever into a girl with male parts, would that be the solution to all his problems? âI uh...I donât know about all that. It would have to happen for me to know what Iâd do, I guess.â
Sarah wasnât exactly satisfied with that answer. But it wasnât a dealbreaker. If he was able to become more accepting of gay people, he could come to be accepting of trans people. Or maybe she was being naive.
âWhat about you?â Spot asked.
âOh, well, if I liked her then I wouldnât mind,â she immediately responded.
âI meant, what donât I know about you?â
She chuckled at that. If only he knew. âWell, you already know Iâve never had a boyfriend.â
âRight.â Was that a hint? Theyâd gone out on a few dates and heâd even gone over to her house for dinner. Theyâd already made plans to go to his house for dinner. As far as she knew, there was no one else in the picture. âWould you like to?â As soon as he asked, he regretted it.
âWhat are you asking me?â
âDo you uh...wanna go steady? I mean...be my girlfriend?â
Sarah knew that if she wanted to, she could run. She had half a mind to just call it all off and go back to being a small town girl living in a lonely world. Instead, she gave Spot a soft kiss on the lips. âIâm down. As long as you keep referring to me as your girl.â She was feeling adventurous.
Spot gave her a grin and a nod, contrasting the feelings he had inside. Now he had more reason to feel guilty about Race. He wished he could be honest with Sarah, but it was far too late for that. Now, the only option left was to break it off with Race. It just didnât feel right.
They hugged and both individually felt proud of themselves. Spot finally had a girlfriend. Sarah finally had a boyfriend. It was what theyâd wanted for a long time, but what they wanted and what they needed were two separate things.
There was something about looking into someoneâs eyes that was very intimate. Jojo knew the theory that if someone stared into your eyes for at least six seconds, they either wanted to fuck you or kill you. At this point, Jojo would happily take either one from Crutchie.
It was hard enough to looking into another personâs eyes, let alone do it for a full minute. It was another one of the LGBTQ+ Clubâs trust exercises. One of the ones that made Jojo the most uncomfortable. But he knew he had to suck it up. Maybe heâd connect with someone. He at least was willing to keep an open mind.
He knew he had to avoid Race. The two would just laugh the whole time or play a game of gay chicken, which Race would end up winning. His second thought was Crutchie, but when he made eye contact with him, Crutchie immediately looked away and walked to the opposite end of the room. Jojo took the hint.
It wasnât like he wasnât trying to get over his crush on Crutchie. It was just that he didnât know how. He tried using dating apps, but he just felt weird lying about his age to other guys. It was either that or the guys he talked to ended up being weird or thinking he was weird. And it wasnât like any guy at school was busting doors down to be with him. Especially not anyone in the club.
Heâd been late to the meeting so he hadnât noticed that there was someone new there. Heâd been in line to get a cup oâ noodles and it took a little longer than heâd hoped. Jojo quickly slurped the noodles while waiting there for someone to approach him and ask to be his partner.
His eyes wandered back to Crutchie. Of course Jack was his partner. Heâd always wondered why theyâd never got together. Even when Jack and Race had their fling, Jack had always treated Race like he was the side ho and Crutchie was his main squeeze. Which Race hadnât minded at all. Race probably wouldâve put the moves on Crutchie too if Jojo hadnât told him about his crush.
âYou got a partner?â Jojo turned his gaze to see the clubâs newest member, Sarah Jacobs. It wasnât so much of a shock that she was there. After all, he knew she was Daveyâs sister and that she was in the school paper with Katherine. It was more of a surprise to him because of the other person they had in common.
âI do now,â he said with a kind smile.
âCool,â she replied, a giggle escaping her lips. âIâm Sarah.â
âDaveyâs sister right?â
âYou got it.â
âAnd you also write for the paper.â
âSports mostly.â
âYeah, Iâve seen you at some of our wrestling meets. You talk to Spot Conlon a lot.â
âYep. Heâs my uh...boyfriend.â
âBoyfriend?â This threw him. He knew the two were seeing each other but he didnât know it had gotten so serious. He wondered if Spot had broken things off with Race, but he doubted it. Race wouldâve told him.
âYeah, we made it official yesterday.â
âWell, congrats!â He really didnât want to judge Spot or Race, but he couldnât help but feel bad for Sarah. Jojo knew it was none of his business so he wasnât going to say anything. Though he probably would make some remark to Race just because he knew him best.
âThanks!â
He realized he hadnât told her who he was. âI feel like an idiot. I havenât introduced myself. Iâm Jojo.â
âItâs okay. I know you. Spot and Jack invited me to one of your parties a while ago.â
âOh right. The one where my parents showed up. You were doing shots with some of the wrestling guys.â
âYeah, theyâve been nice to me. I might have to join the team.â
âI think a girl on our team would be kickass. Although Iâd miss your headlines.â
âI could still write about wrestling while participating. I might even get better at it. Although Iâd probably be very biased against any team we went up against.â
âYou should be biased anyway. Thereâs no spirit like school spirit.â
Soon, they started the exercise. Every pairâs desks were facing each other. There were a lot of giggles across the room and complete quiet from the paired up Katherine and David, who were taking it very seriously. Jojo had made the mistake of sitting where Crutchie and Jack were in his direct eyeline, so every few seconds heâd look away from Sarah and towards Crutchie. After the minute was up, Sarah turned to see what heâd been looking at.
âSo you have a thing for Jack, huh?â she said discreetly when everyone was getting up to turn their desks back toward the front of the room.
âWhat? No,â Jojo replied nervously. He thought Jack was cool, but heâd never been into him in any way more than a friend.
Sarah turned to look again. âCrutchie?â she asked softly.
Jojo didnât want to lie so instead of denying it, he just remained quiet. They sat back down as Jack started to get into the actual meeting. Sarah didnât push the issue, which he admired. But he really wanted to talk to someone about it and he knew Race was tired of hearing it.
âItâs a non-starter,â he whispered to her. âCrutchieâs not into me. So Iâm just trying to get over him. I just donât know how. Brownie points if you can tell me.â
Sarah nodded and responded, âIâm a reporter, Iâll find out for you.â
He took that as a joke and smiled at his new friend. Little did he know, she was only half-joking. She also wanted to know how to get over someone, since sheâd had someone on her mind that she really wanted to stop thinking about.
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Chapter 11 - Datesies
I have returned with a new chapter. I hope I am doing Sarah justice. In this chapter, Jack and David go on their first date, Spot and Race canât keep their hands off each other, and Sarah has some internal struggles regarding some external circumstances. Happy reading.
Or read on AO3 if you prefer.
âIs this a date?â David had to clarify because they hadnât really talked about it since...Well, since they admitted they liked each other. David was all smiles during the school newspaper meeting after that, but as soon as he got home, heâd gone into overthinking mode. He didnât have to wait long for Jack to text him, and they made plans to hang out just the two of them at Jacobiâs, but the word âdateâ didnât make its way into the conversation.
âI thought that was pretty clear,â Jack replied.
âOh.â It was as if suddenly he didnât know what to say. It was easier when he thought he had no chance in hell with Jack, but now that he knew he did, he ran out of conversation. âCool.â
Luckily, Jack wasnât lost for words. âSo you like me, huh?â
David smiled and nodded. âI thought that was pretty clear.â
âI just...I didnât know. Youâre a mystery, Davey. I know youâre smart and kind and youâre very very cuteâŚâ David blushed at this. âBut you donât really talk about yourself a lot. Youâre too...humble.â
David knew this was true about himself. He just didnât want to seem overbearing or annoying. âWhat do you want to know?â
Jack shifted back in the booth they were sitting at and thought for a second. âI donât think Iâve ever asked you...Whatâs your favorite color?â
David chuckled to himself. It was such a simple question. It reminded him of the day they met in art class. And he realized there was no need to be so nervous. Jack was still Jack. The only thing different was that they liked each other. âBrown.â
âBrown?â
âYeah, brown.â He knew it was a boring color, but he liked it.
âAnd why is that your favorite color?â
David shrugged. âItâs found in nature. Itâs neutral so it goes with everything. Itâs underappreciated.â
âItâs the color of your eyesâŚâ
David blushed again and smiled. âYeah. Thatâs true.â Their eyes lingered on each otherâs before David looked away, embarrassed.
âDonât look away.â Jack reached out to grab his hand, but David pulled it back. It was awkward, but it was a reflex. David relaxed his fist and slid it back towards Jack.
âSorry, Iâm not used to this. Iâve never...been on a date.â
Jack gently took Davidâs hand and stroked his fingers. âNever?â
âNever.â
âIâll try to make it special then.â
They ate and then moved on to playing games while Jack asked David more questions about himself. Every time Jack made any kind of physical contact with him, be it touching his fingers or putting his arm around him, David had to remind himself to relax. But eventually, the conversation made David comfortable enough to not overthink like he usually did. He even began asking Jack questions of his own.
After awhile, Jack noticed David continuously checking his watch and suggested it was time to go home. David apologized and told him he had a curfew. As they left Jacobiâs, Jack offered David a ride on his motorcycle, but David declined. He wasnât ready for that. Well, he was scared. So Jack insisted on walking him home. They continued conversing, the topic now being favorite foods. Jackâs was a very specific burger, while David listed a variety of Jewish dishes his grandmother liked to make. They held hands the whole way.
When they got to his house, they stopped on the porch and David suddenly remembered something heâd meant to ask Jack. âHey, you never told me what your favorite color was.â
âMy favorite color always changes,â Jack replied with a smile. He used a finger to swipe the hair out of Davidâs eyes and continued, âBut youâve uh...turned me on to brown.â
Thatâs when David realized that their date had come to an end and what the end of the first date usually entailed. But was he ready for that? Heâd just gotten comfortable with hand-holding. It wasnât as if he hadnât imagined kissing Jack. It wasnât as if he hadnât practiced on his own hand. But that had all been in his head. Now, it was about to be real life.
The worry came rushing back. What if he was bad at kissing? What if it was the deciding factor on whether there would be a second date or not? He supposed he could always go back to being just friends with Jack. But now that theyâd gone on a date, he didnât want to go back. Jack had called him too humble earlier, but now all he was thinking about was what he wanted. He wanted Jack. And he knew Jack wanted him back.
Jack took a step forward and David reflexively took a step back. Jack froze and David felt like an idiot. âMan up!â he told himself and took a step toward Jack. Okay, here was the moment. Davidâs first kiss. It seemed to take forever as they inched closer to each other. David closed his eyes and waited for what seemed like an eternity.
Suddenly, the door opened behind him. He felt Jack back off and heard a deep clearing of a throat. David opened his eyes and turned, hoping it wasnât his dad. Luckily, it wasnât. It was Spot Conlon and Sarah. Spot looked as if heâd walked in on an orgy. Sarah looked both amused and sorry. David turned to see Jack looking like he was having a flashback.
âUh bye,â Spot said to Sarah as he left in a rush, not even making eye contact with her.
âBye.â Sarah cringed as she turned to the other two. âI am so sorry. I invited Spot to dinner to meet Mom and Dad and I didnât know you two were out here and...Iâm gonna leave you to it, okay?â She gave David a sorry smile and then went back into the house, leaving them alone again.
David was hoping for some kind of tension-relieving laughter, but it didnât come. Jack was looking down now, and David felt it was up to him to fix the situation. âWe should have a redo.â
Jack looked up, confused. âRight now?â
âNo,â he replied, a little too quickly. âI meant like...go on another date. âCause this was fun. And...the more dates we go on, the better Iâll probably get at them.â
Jack laughed softly. âYou were pretty great at this one. I just...didnât expect to see Spot Conlon at your house. Is he dating Sarah?â
David shrugged. âYeah, I guess so. Heâs the first guy sheâs brought home at least.â
âOh.â
David didnât know what was going on, but he could sense that Jack was keeping something from him. He just didnât know what. âSarah thinks heâs cool despite everything Iâve heard about him. I trust her judgment more than anyone elseâs soâŚâ
Jack smiled as he seemed to shake his thoughts away. âSo I guess that means she approves of me? Dating you, I mean.â
David nodded. âSheâs probably our number one shipper.â
âOh yeah? What would our ship name be?â
âMmm,â he thought. âProbably something stupid like Javid.â
They both laughed and their eyes were drawn to each other again. Jack got close and this time David didnât back away. A couple more seconds of staring and David couldnât take it anymore. He softly pressed his lips against Jackâs and he had his first kiss. There were no fireworks, no choir of angels, no foot popping. But as they pulled apart, David could see a smile on Jackâs face and really, thatâs all he needed.
âWe should have a redo,â Jack stated, raising an eyebrow.
âOn our next date,â David replied confidently. âItâll be better. Longer perhaps.â
âCanât wait.â They smiled at each other for a few more seconds before Jack stepped back to leave. He gave David the peace sign and went off.
David watched him walk off and then turned around to see Sarah and Les watching him from one of the front windows. They also had smiles on their faces as David went red. He shuffled on inside to reproach them.
Spot felt bad. But all the guilt went away whenever he was around Race. They had tiptoed around a conversation they both wanted to have. In class, Spot had seen Jojo and remembered what Race had said about having told Jojo that they kissed. Jojo was acting like nothing was different, however, so Spot didnât know if it was true or not. And it seemed like every time Spot stopped by the computer lab to walk Sarah home, Race was around the same area, watching them. Still, every time they met up alone to talk...they didnât do much talking.
The first time they saw each other after their fight was on the weekend. They met up at the library and tried to study, but Race couldnât keep his attention focused on math. He started playing footsie with Spot, who went along with it. It wasnât long until they were in a bathroom stall kissing. It wasnât until someone else entered the bathroom that they went back to studying.
The next time they saw each other was in the morning at school before class began. Race suggested they talk and they took a walk by the baseball field. As they rounded the back of the bleachers, Spot pulled Race under them and they began to make out. They were there until the bell reminded them they still needed to go to class.
It was like that for a couple of weeks. A cheeky wink here and there, a subtle touch during math class as they passed back tests, and even a stolen kiss in the hallway when no one was around. The guilt came and went, but they knew they had to have a talk when Jojo invited them over to his house. The OG study group was getting back together.
It was like it had been before, except Spot now felt awkward around Jojo. Did he really know about the two of them? Had Race been updating him on all their makeout sessions? Jojo was still acting oblivious though.
Their meeting went as usual, except Jojo hadnât offered them alcoholic drinks. Spot wondered if Jojoâs parents had gotten rid of all the liquor in the house since the party. Then Race left the room for a second and came back with a bottle of vodka and some orange juice. Jojo looked as if he was going to say something but decided against it, instead choosing to focus on studying.
After a while, Spot stated he had to pee and left the room to go to the bathroom. âI have to pee too,â he heard from behind him and as he went into the hallway, he felt someone following him.
Spot turned to see Race catching up with him. âI do actually have to pee, you know. That wasnât like code or anything.â
âI know.â
âSo youâre just going to follow me anyway?â
âThereâs more than one bathroom...But maybe. Iâm a little curiousâŚâ
âAbout how I pee?â
âAmong other things.â Race looked down at Spotâs general crotch area.
âYouâre really disgusting, you know that?â he said jokingly, with a smile.
âAnd yet, you keep putting your tongue in my mouth.â They both laughed and then stared at each other. Sometimes Spot wanted to just stare into Raceâs eyes for a long time. But Race never seemed to be able to hold himself back. And just like that, Spotâs tongue was back in Raceâs mouth. His bladder would just have to wait to be emptied.
âAhem.â Spot and Race parted lips and looked to see who had interrupted them. Jojo stood there staring back and forth between the two of them, not looking one bit surprised. âDo you two need a room or can we get back to studying?â
âI still need to pee,â Spot said, before running off to the bathroom. Not only was he embarrassed, but he was scared. And disappointed in himself. How could he his affections for another guy just take control of his body like that? If he kept it up, it wouldnât be long until he was just making out with Race in public. He knew he needed to be more careful.
After peeing, he returned to the kitchen where Race was sipping on partially melted ice and Jojo looked like he was ready to throw his book into the fireplace. âHey, Jojo? Can I talk to you?â Spot turned to Race. âAlone?â
Race stopped sipping and sighed, putting his glass down on the table. âFine. Iâll actually go pee this time.â He left the room and then it was just Spot and Jojo.
âI just wanted to say...Iâm sorry for what you witnessed out there. I donât uh...usually lose control like that. I justâŚâ
âRace is very persuasive,â Jojo acknowledged. âTrust me, I know.â
âOh. Did you and himâŚ?â He didnât know how to feel about what he was asking.
Jojo let out a snort before shaking his head. âWe kissed once when we were drunk but...heâs like a brother to me. Itâs funny, he still tries to kiss me whenever there are homophobes around. I always tell him thatâs a bad idea for me because he can run fast and I canât.â
Spot let out a quiet laugh, before getting serious again. âJo...Please donât tell anyone.â
Jojo gave Spot a look as if to ask if he was being serious. âI would never tell anyone.â And then his expression changed, his face conveying a mental struggle between saying something and keeping quiet. Spot waited. âAre you dating Sarah Jacobs?â
Whatever it was that Spot had been expecting, that wasnât it. âI...uh...yeah.â
âDoes she know about you and Race?â
âNoâŚâ All the guilt just rushed at Spot and he felt like he was pinned down by his strongest opponent.
âIâm not judging,â Jojo clarified. âI just think you should consider talking to her about it, especially if you and Race are having sex. I just think itâd be fair game if everyone involved knew about everyone who was involved.â
At that moment, Race walked back into the room looking pleased with himself. He looked back and forth between the other two, wondering why they were both being quiet. Spot got red in the face before announcing to the room, âWeâre not having sex.â
âRight, well,â Jojo finished, âjust something to consider. Now, letâs get back to studying. Please.â
Race looked confused as all hell, but he sat down nonetheless without asking questions.
Spot tried to focus on the work, but he knew deep down that Jojo was right. He wasnât being fair to Sarah by keeping this from her. Hell, he wasnât being fair to himself. But he just wasnât ready to let her know his secret. It was his and he was going to keep it for as long as he needed.
He didnât know that Sarah felt exactly the same way about her own secret.
Sarah was always a girl, even though sometimes she looked in the mirror and didnât see the body she had hoped for. But she was an optimistic girl. She knew she was lucky that her family loved her for who she was. And for the most part, she knew who she was. Her family had always gone above and beyond to make her feel as comfortable and loved as they could. Everyone outside of her immediate family, however, she wasnât so comfortable around.
When they moved, Sarah felt like she was making a new start. Small town life didnât suit her because everyone knew her. Some people still even called her Junior or J.J. Sheâd originally been named Jacob, after her father. But once she came out to her family, she was known as Sarah, after her mother.
Even though Sarah had naturally feminine features, Â it wasnât easy for her once she decided to publicly be herself. She got picked on a lot by boys and she never felt included by the girls. Her mother tried to be inclusive by taking her out on mother-daughter dates. They would go shopping, try on makeup, watch romantic comedies, and most importantly just talk. Her father was more protective. It was his idea to pay for self defense classes and to send her to a more inclusive school in the city.
It was fun while it lasted. No one at her city school knew she was trans, but she could tell they were all very accepting. She made friends, boys flirted with her, and her confidence grew. She was almost ready to tell everyone she was trans, when all of a sudden, her parents told her that she wouldnât be returning to that school the next semester.
Her parents said that her father had been fired and they couldnât afford to send her back, but they wouldnât explain why heâd been let go. The fact that Mr. Jacobs had just broken his arm only added to the mystery. Sarahâs ability to snoop soon cleared it all up when she eavesdropped on a private conversation between her parents. The boss had apparently said some really gross, nasty, transphobic words and Mr. Jacobs lost it. He had tried to hit his boss, but his boss was faster and stronger. According to Mr. Jacobs, he was lucky to get out with just a broken arm and no job. No charges were pressed.
Sarah blamed herself for the event, but she held her head up high when she returned to her small town school. She told herself she wasnât going to become a victim and was able to hold her own against bullies. Her charisma led her to make friends with people she hadnât been able to before. She kept her grades up and for some time, things were fine. Just fine.
Every once in a while she would think back to the good times she had at her school in the city, and she knew that one day sheâd have to return. Small town life wasnât for her. City life was the dream. Not long later, her parents would tell her that her father got a new job, and they would have to move.
Now, she was in Katherineâs bedroom teaching her some self defense moves like she said she would do. Even as Katherine was pretending to attack her, she felt safe. It was like it had been at her city school. Life was good and she couldnât complain. Except, she really wanted to tell someone she was trans. She specifically wanted to tell Katherine, but she didnât know why. Other than she felt really comfortable around her.
She didnât exactly know how to bring it up though. With David, it was easy because they were twins. They shared everything, and Sarah suspected that David knew she was a girl before she did. With her parents, it was different but they still knew something was up. She tried hard to make sure she erased her browsing history, but somehow her parents caught on and they had a conversation. As for Les, he was the one with the most questions, but the most acceptance.
Sarah kept overthinking different ways to talk to Katherine about it as she showed her some basic blocking techniques. Katherine was slowly getting it, but Sarah did have to keep repeating the steps. âYou know itâs called self defense, right? Youâre supposed to be defending yourself, not thinking about where youâre gonna hit me next.â
Katherine looked taken aback for a second, but then brushed it off. âSorry, I just want to learn as much as I can. I want boys to be afraid of me.â
âBill and Darcy are pretty afraid of you,â Sarah replied with a laugh.
âTheyâre afraid of all girls.â
âJackâs afraid of you.â
âGood. He can cower in fear as he watches me kick ass.â
âThat might just turn him on.â
Katherine rolled her eyes and then tried attacking Sarah. Sarah blocked her and then quickly but with as little damage as she could, dropped her and pinned her to the ground.
âTeach me how to do that,â Katherine said, with excitement.
âAlright, fine.â Sarah began to show her slowly, trying to break the moves down as much as possible, but as easy as possible. First they practiced with Katherine attacking her and then the other way around.
âWhy arenât you in the wrestling team?â Katherine asked. âI mean, this is pretty much the same. Youâd probably be as good as Spot Conlon.â
Spot was another person Sarah wanted to tell, but for other reasons. As much as she wanted to believe heâd be okay with her, she just didnât know. With Katherine it was simpler because she was just her friend. But with Spot, they were technically dating. And also he was a guy. She knew guys wouldnât take it as well as girls. Although Sarah knew she didnât need a boyfriend, the prospect of one was fun and exciting. It was something new and with a boy she thought was really nice and really polite. But she knew boys were nice until they werenât.
âI thought the wrestling team was just for boys. I wouldnât want to be the only girl.â
âItâs our duty to be the only girl,â Katherine said as she tried pushing Sarah to the ground. âWe have to show other girls that we can survive in a male dominated field. And that we can be better than them at it. Iâd do it if I wasnât busy with stuff Iâm already good at.â
âI donât know. The paper keeps me pretty busy and Iâm already dating Spot so I see him enough.â Katherine was doing it all wrong, but Sarah fell to the ground anyway.
âYouâre dating Spot Conlon?â She sounded intrigued.
âYeah, itâs nothing serious yet but...I like him. Heâs a nice guy.â
âIf you say so.â She got on top of Sarah and pinned her down just like Sarah had. Sarah thought, at least she knew how to do one thing.
âI do say so.â She smiled up at Katherine above her and the girl smiled back. They stared at each other for what Sarah thought was a little too long.
âYou should join the LGBTQ+ Club,â Katherine said suddenly. âIt doesnât take much of your free time. We only meet on Wednesdays during lunch. Itâd be fun with you in it. And we always need allies.â
Sarah had been hesitant to join the club ever since Jack had told her about it her first day at school. She didnât want to bring attention to herself or have people ask questions. Then she thought about it again when David joined, but she was too busy with the paper to join something else. At least thatâs what she told herself.
But now that Katherine was asking, it seemed like a no-brainer. It was as if a lightbulb went off in Sarahâs head. Why hadnât she joined? Her brother and two of her friends were in the club. It wouldnât raise suspicions at all. âWhy not? Iâll join.â
âGreat,â Katherine replied with another smile. Again, they stared at each other for a little too long, It wasnât until Sarah realized she was getting...excited below the belt, that she finally reacted. She grabbed Katherine and flipped her over, quickly getting up and facing away from her.
âSorry, I really need to pee. Whereâs your bathroom?â
âDown the hall, straight ahead.â Katherine thankfully hadnât seemed to notice anything.
Sarah tried to remain as calm as possible as she walked to the bathroom. It felt like it took ages to get there. Every thought running through her mind was confusing her. Was that why she wanted to tell Katherine? Because she...liked her? Or was she just attracted to her? Or was that just a random fluke that occured because of body contact?
Sheâd always thought Katherine was beautiful, but sheâd also thought that about plenty of other girls and sheâd never felt any kind of sexual attraction to them. To be fair, sheâd never felt much sexual attraction to boys either. Sarah was confused, but she decided to just calm down and give Katherine some excuse for going home. She could talk to David. Maybe he could give her some insight. But when she got home, David was on the phone with Jack.
The next day at school, she had to keep telling herself to calm down, but when she saw Katherine across the hall, she panicked a little. She turned to walk the other way and saw Spot and his posse by his locker. And she knew there was only one thing to do. She walked directly to him, grabbed his shirt and pulled him in for a kiss.
He was surprised and confused, as were the people around him. It was kind of a test to Sarah. To see if she liked it. She worried a little that she would get excited like she had the day before, but she had tucked well so she wasnât too worried. However, nothing happened down there. They parted lips and Spot gave her a goofy smile. Some of his posse cheered.
âSorry,â she apologized. âI just saw you and I had toâŚâ He told her it was fine and then took her hand as they walked down the hallway. The posse surrounded them and now Sarah felt like sheâd done something both stupid and revolutionary. She may not have joined the wrestling team, but now she was pretty sure the wrestling team had her back. And if she ever broke it off with Spot, theyâd probably turn on her in an instant. What was worse, was that she still didnât know how she felt about either Spot or Katherine. Sheâd have to figure that out.
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Chapter 10 - Honestsies
Here is Chapter 10, about the halfway point of this work. We find Sprace having a heart to heart. The Newsbians having a heart to heart. And Javid having a heart to heart. Have fun.
Or read on AO3 if you prefer.
Race didnât exactly know what he was doing, but he knew it excited him. And he knew that when something excited him, he had to pursue it.
Jojo had told him to leave it alone and to leave Spot alone. In class, Spot was completely ignoring Race, but still talking to Jojo. It irritated Race, but it also gave him the drive to bug Spot. Heâd almost gone completely childish to the point where their teacher noticed him throwing spitballs at Spot and sent him to the office.
Race didnât seem to realize that he was becoming a bully, but then again, no one seemed to know that he was bullied at home. It was even more odd that Race was pursuing a guy whoâd almost hit him, but maybe it was his way of standing up to a person he believed to be a bully, the same way he wished he could stand up to his dad, who he knew for a fact was one.
Somewhere deep inside him he knew it was wrong, but he couldnât help himself. He waited after school for Spot to get out of wrestling practice, being careful to not let Jojo see him there. The sun was starting to set when Spot finally got out. Race stayed afar, but was close enough to see Spot meet up with a girl heâd seen at Jojoâs party. It irked Race when he saw them holding hands. Not out of jealousy, but out of concern for the girl. He almost felt it a duty to tell her she was holding hands with a guy who wasnât into her. But he still only observed.
Spot finally let the girl go and gave her a kiss on the cheek. She smiled and went into her house. Spot was alone and this was Raceâs moment to strike again. He let Spot walk a block or so before catching up to him, throwing a pebble at the back of his head as he did so.
âWhat the fuck?â the shorter boy said, pausing.
âYeah, that was my reaction when I saw you holding hands with a girl.â
Spotâs eyes rolled and he continued walking. âGet the fuck away from me, Higgins.â
âMmm...no. I donât think I will.â He just wanted to bug Spot. To let him know what he was doing with the girl was wrong. Though the way he was going about it was also wrong.
âYouâve had your fun. Just âcause you got a little crush on me, doesnât mean I feel the same way.â
âIâm the one who has a crush on you? Youâre the one who kissed me, remember?â
Spot stopped and quickly turned to Race. âShut up with that. I did no such thing.â
Race got closer to him, feeling the same thing heâd felt last time they were that close. It was like an adrenaline rush. He wanted the same result. He wanted Spot to kiss him again. âYou did it and you liked it. You wanted to do it again. Admit it. You still want to do it.â
âFuck off. Just fuck off.â
âOr what?â He could feel it building up again. He could sense that Spot wanted him. He could see it in the way Spot was staring back at him. His eyes pleading at him to stop, but begging for release. âOr what, Spot?â
He didnât answer. He just shook his head and started walking again.
Race followed. âCâmon, Spot. Tell me what youâll do to me if I donât stop. Are you gonna kiss me again? Or are you gonna try to hit me again?â
Spot stopped again, this time looking like Race had been the one to hit him. âIs that really what you think?â
âI donât know what to think, except what youâve shown me. So come on. What itâs gonna be, big shot?â Race got close and pushed Spot. He was tired of him just walking away. He wanted something to happen. He wanted Spot to just do something. He was tired of being ignored. He was tired of feeling so passionless. And the last time heâd felt that was when they kissed. It had been like electricity. It had been something he hadnât felt in a long time.
Spot automatically pushed Race back, and was pushed back again. Maybe it was something heâd been wanting to do, or maybe it was to put a stop to it, but after a few pushes back and forth, he finally hit Race square on the jaw.
Race was a bit surprised. HIs hand automatically went up to where heâd been hit, massaging it lighty. Heâd kept pushing, hoping it would lead to another kiss. Or at least a wrestling match. Something that would lead to that spark heâd felt. In the end, he got it. Maybe not a kiss, but heâd felt something. He wasnât going to back down from it. âWell now I see who you really are. Do it again.â
âWhat?â
âHit me again. You know you want to. âCause Iâm not gonna stop.â He took a couple of steps closer to Spot, pushing him again. âIâm the only one who knows, arenât I? That youâre gay. I wonder what your little wrestling posse would think if they knew.â
This time Spot hit him in the stomach.
Race had to take a step back. Heâd expected the hit this time, but he hadnât expected for it to feel that way. He felt like the air had been punched out of him. He struggled to breathe for a few seconds as he doubled over, but he still wasnât going to back down. âAgain!â he yelled between breaths. âCâmon Conlon! Hit me again!â
Spot looked like he was regretting his actions, but his stance was still ready for more.
âI already told Jojo, you know? Iâm sure itâs only a matter of time before the rest of the wrestling team knows. Before the rest of the school knows. Before your family knows.â
At this point, Spotâs eyes were watering, but he still managed to hit Race again.
However, it wasnât as strong or direct as the other punches were. And Race noticed that. âThat was weak!â He got closer to Spot once again, but Spot didnât back away and his hands fell. It was as if heâd completely given up. âBe a man and hit me!â
Spot dropped on his hands and knees, tears streaming down his face. For a while, all that was heard were the sounds of Spotâs sobbing, and Race trying to catch his breath.
The last words heâd said echoed in Raceâs mind. That and seeing Spot there crying triggered something in him. Heâd always been known for being cocky, but a lot of it was compensation for hating himself. When he wasnât running laps or acing a math quiz, he felt underwhelmed with himself and wondered why. But standing there at that moment, he knew why. He was an asshole. And he was following in his fatherâs footsteps.
Part of him wanted to run away, and part of him wanted to hold Spot and make him feel better. But he didnât do either of those. Instead, he sat down next to Spot cross-legged. When he felt that Spot had stopped crying, he finally spoke. âIâm sorry. Iâm an asshole.â
Spot didnât respond, but kept breathing deeply.
âI donât know why I said those things. I justâŚâ He looked away from Spot, almost ashamed to say it. âI just wanted you to kiss me again. And to just...be out and proud and not...a coward.â He sighed as he continued to think, comparing himself to his father in his mind. âBut thatâs not my place I guess. You shouldnât do things because I want you to do them. You shouldnât be a certain way because I want you to. You...Youâre not a coward.â
âI am a coward,â Spot spoke. He shifted his body slowly until he sat like Race, but hugging his knees. âAnd Iâm not a man.â
âYou are a man, Spot. I never meant--â
âNo, Iâm not. Iâm just a weak little boy who canât even...Who canât even accept himself. I canât...I canât be gay, Race. Itâs against everything Iâve done, everything I have. And yetâŚâ He turned to look at Race and their eyes made contact for a few seconds before he looked away again. âIâve been wanting to kiss you again too. The other night after the party was...It felt right. I wanted more. I still want more. I canât be gay, but...I know that I am. I donât want to be, but thereâs no way to change that, is there?â
âNoâŚâ Race answered quietly, knowing full well what it felt like. âBut being gay isnât a bad thing.â
âTry telling my mom.â
âTry telling my dad.â
Eye contact was made again, this time with a smile from both parties.
âIâm sorry for hitting you,â Spot said calmly. âIâve only ever hit one person in my life and I promised myself I wouldnât do it again but...there I went.â
âI mean, I did encourage you. But...youâve only ever hit one person before? I find that hard to believe. I mean, youâre Spot Conlon. People talk.â
âPeople exaggerate. The guy I beat up...Jack Kelly. I beat him up practically in front of the whole school. During the days I was suspended, word got around and things escalated. But itâs not like Iâve tried to deny any rumors Iâve heard.â
âJack Kelly? President of the gay club, Jack Kelly?â
âYeah, that Jack Kelly.â
âWhyâd you beat him up?â
Spot gave a quick but sad laugh. âWe used to be best friends. Really close. So close, my mom didnât want him sleeping over in case anything gay happened. Which...it didnât. I made sure of that.â Spot paused, and Race noticed his eyes begin to water again. He felt like reaching out and caressing him, but he withheld. It didnât feel right. âI think...I think I loved him. And I think he loved me too. But...one day he kissed me and I...I beat him up. In front of the whole school. And Iâve never talked to him again.â Spot wiped a tear from his eye before continuing. âBut he seems to be better off without me. After we stopped being friends, he started the...gay club or whatever. So at least heâs comfortable with himself. I...never will be.â
At this, Race couldnât hold himself back anymore. He leaned forward and with his hand, turned Spotâs head to face him. They made eye contact before Race went in and gave him a soft kiss. Spot took a deep breath but reciprocated. Race pulled back after a second and said, âYouâll get there. Just donât give up on yourself.â
Spot nodded sadly and looked away. Race could tell their conversation took a lot out of him. He could tell Spot really cared about his mother and what she thought of him. He could tell that as popular as he was, it wasnât easy being Spot Conlon. âAnd donât give up on me. Iâll try being less of an asshole.â
They both laughed before making eye contact again. This time it was Spot that leaned in for the kiss. It was the same as before: short and sweet. âCan we get the study group back together? Not talking to you has started to affect my grade again.â
Race sighed before giving Spot one more peck on the lips. âYouâre hopeless.â
Katherine had to admit she had invited Sarah to her dadâs event mostly to piss him off. She waited until the day of to tell him who she had invited. âIâm bringing my friend...Sarah Jacobs. Sheâs on the paper with me.â
Joseph Pulitzer raised a stern eyebrow at his daughter. âSarah Jacobs? Is she the...girl?â
Katherineâs eyebrows furrowed in confusion. âYes, Dad...she is a girl.â
âHuh.â Pulitzer sighed and nodded once. âFine.â
Katherine left the house even more confused. Sheâd expected her dad to complain and for them to argue for a bit, but that had been all that was said about it. She found it odd, but she figured he was probably nervous about the function.
Sheâd made plans to meet at Sarahâs house so they could get ready together. Katherine already knew what she was going to wear: a simple black dress and a ponytail. She couldnât be bothered to try and she hoped Sarah wouldnât either.
When she got to Sarahâs, she knocked on the door and was met with a boy when it opened. âHi, Iâm looking for SarahâŚâ
âSarah!â the boy yelled. âSomeoneâs here to see you!â
Sarah came running and flicked the boy in the ear when she saw who it was. âLet her in, you doof! Come in, Katherine. This is my brother Les.â
Katherine walked in and smiled at the boy. He grinned back and then left the room. Katherine then felt herself being pulled away. She was led into a hallway, where she noticed someone exiting a room. She focused and saw it was David. He was in his boxers, wearing a shirt that read, âI avoid cliches like the plague.â She smiled at that as she waved at him. âThatâs a funny shirt,â she said. David stopped in his tracks, looking mortified. She wouldâve said more, but Sarah pulled her into her room and closed the door.
âAlright, so what are you wearing to this thing?â
Katherine took off her backpack and showed Sarah the dress.
âOh god. Kath, do you hate your dad?â
âUh...no?â
âThen why would you wear this? Heâs being honored, right?â
âWell heâs winning some award or something. Heâs not the only one though.â
âYou donât know what heâs winning?â
âI didnât really ask.â Her dad wasnât really a priority in her life. She mostly lived with her mom and he got her every other weekend or whenever her dad wanted her to make an appearance somewhere.
âThatâs...cold. But whatever. We can fix this. Iâve got plenty of nice things to wear.â Katherine began to object but Sarah just shushed her. âNo, no, just sit down while I look for a way to fix this.â
Sarah began digging in her closet and Katherine plopped herself down on the bed too stupefied to say anything. She normally would have tried to stand up for herself more but Sarah seemed very in command. And by the way they both looked afterward, she knew what she was doing.
Katherine was still in a black dress, but a little more elegant. Sarah had also put Kathâs hair up and done her makeup. The editor almost didnât recognize herself in Sarahâs mirror. It was as if she was a different person. Sarah also made herself up, but she always looked good so it wasnât as big of a difference as it was with Katherine.
âI look like Iâm going to the Oscars.â
âWell, Iâm sure itâs the equivalent around here,â Sarah replied, spritzing some finishing spray on her face. âSo we have to look our best, donât we?â
âI guessâŚâ Katherine turned to look at Sarah who was in a pretty pink gown. âWe might be overdressed.â
âOverdressed...Best dressed...Either way, all eyes will be on us and theyâll know who to clap for when your dad gets his award.â
âOkay.â Katherine was somewhat nervous now. She didnât want people to see her and expect her to dress this way all the time. Especially her father. He already expected so much of her and if he expected her to look this good in public all the time, she didnât think sheâd be able to take it. She almost wanted to smudge her face and ruin the beautiful artwork that Sarah had worked on. But she didnât, because it was Sarahâs hard work.
As they left the house, Katherine saw David near the entrance, this time wearing jeans and a buttoned up shirt. He smiled at first but when he actually noticed her, his mouth opened a little. Katherine smiled at herself and waved at him again. âBye David.â He had no response, but she could swear she saw him blush.
Les was there too and his response was more or less the same, except he said, âWow, youâre pretty.â
She gave the boy a, âThanks,â and out the door they went. They got into Katherineâs car and drove to their school.
âI didnât know it was being held here,â Sarah said, surprised. âThis town doesnât seem that small.â
âItâs not. My dad works at the school.â
âReally? What does he do?â
âHeâs...the principal.â Katherine made sure to take in Sarahâs reaction. The girl was shocked, but then she nodded and accepted it. âSee, thatâs the reaction I hoped for.â
âWhat reaction do you usually get?â
âUsually that one but...Nevermind. Letâs just go in there and hope we have fun.â
The two girls went into the gym, where most events were usually held. People certainly did stare, seeing how gorgeous they looked, and Sarah looked pleased. Katherine just tried to keep her eyes wandering so that she didnât focus on one person and yell at them for staring. Of course, she couldnât help but notice the Delancey brothers were there because their stares werenât very subtle.
âOh god, theyâre here.â
âWho are?â
âMorris and Oscar.â
âWho?â Sarah didnât have to wait long for an answer, as the two Delanceys walked over to them.
âWow ladies, you sure are looking good tonight.â
âThank you boys,â Sarah said with her usual smile. Katherine just rolled her eyes. âWhat are you doing here?â
âCoach Weisel is getting an award and he wanted some guys from the team to cheer him on,â Morris answered.
âAlso, our dad works for the school board,â Oscar said. âHeâs presenting the awards.â
âIâm sure he also chose who got them,â Katherine said nonchalantly.
âWhatâs that supposed to mean?â Morris asked with a scoff.
âJust that your father doesnât bother to hide who his friends are and who arenât.â
âYou know, if I were you, Iâd watch which glass houses I was throwing stones at.â
âThatâs not even how the saying goes,â Katherine spat out before turning and walking away. She hated the way the two boys had messed up the saying, but she hated even more the fact that they were right. Her father had friends in high places, that he was bordering on corrupt. But she couldnât bring herself to actually believe he was that way. There was no proof of it at least.
Sarah followed Katherine quickly, âAre you okay?â
âI just hate those two.â
âTheyâre harmless.â
âThey are not harmless,â Katherine immediately responded with certainty. âThey just think they have immunity because their father works for the school board and theyâre on the school wrestling team. They think they canât get in trouble for what theyâve done.â
âAre you talking about the assault rumors?â Katherine nodded. âDid they ever assault you?â
âNo, Iâm not usually the type of girl they go for.â Katherine looked back at the boys. âBut I donât like the way theyâre looking at me right now.â
âIgnore them. They can stare all they want. They canât have us.â
âOne of these days Iâm going to expose them. Whenever I can get evidence.â
The awards ceremony started soon after that. The two girls sat down as far away from the Delanceys as they could, while still being near the front of the pulpit. Mr. Delancey looked just as douchey as his sons, if not douchier.
It turned out Pulitzerâs award was for principal of the year, which Katherine scoffed at before lightly clapping for him. Pulitzer thanked the board for the award and then thanked Katherine for helping him be the best principal he could be. To Katherine, it sounded rehearsed.
After all the awards were handed out, Pulitzer went up to Katherine to tell her how stunning she looked and to introduce himself to Sarah. âYes, Iâve spoken with your parents but I hadnât expected you to be so talented,â he said to the girl, motioning to his daughterâs appearance. âI didnât know what to think when Katherine told me she was bringing you, but now I see that youâre a good influence on her.â
âThank you Mr. Pulitzer,â Sarah said with a charismatic smile. âBut your daughter is a ten; the least I could do was dress her to the nines.â Katherine smiled at that.
Pulitzer then went to talk to some other members of the school board, and Katherine knew her obligation was fulfilled. âWe can go now,â she said to Sarah.
They left the gym and walked back to the parking lot, but when they got there, they noticed a couple of boys following them. Katherine was not at all surprised to see it was the Delancey brothers.
âHey ladies, where are you off to?â Oscar spoke.
âWeâre having an after party at our place if you want to come?â Morris offered. âDrinks included.â
âI wouldnât go with you even if I wanted to have a bad time,â Katherine replied, walking faster toward her car.
âAww, come on baby, you know weâll have fun,â Oscar pleaded. The brothers hurried their steps until they caught up with the girls.
Morris put his gross fingers on Katherineâs shoulder and she yelled, âDonât fucking touch me!â Instead of complying, he just slid his hand down to her waist. Katherine was about to protest again when she was pushed slightly aside by Sarah.
âShe told you not to touch her,â the girl said as she grabbed onto Morrisâ hand and pulled him close. Her other hand was clenched in a fist and hit Morris right in the nose.
âHey!â came from Oscar, but before he could do anything, Sarah took his arm and flipped him onto the ground.
Morris was coming back toward her, but she was ready for him, kicking him in the crotch. The two were now on the ground, and Sarah had one heel pressed on top of Oscar. âDonât get up until our car is out of this parking lot, unless you want to end up in the hospital.â Morris tried to get up but she punched him once more. âAnd donât ever touch Katherine again. Do you understand?â She pressed down on Oscar until he agreed, and then on Morris with the same result.
When Katherine and Sarah were on the road, she was finally able to speak. âThat was amazing.â
âIâve taken self defense classes for a few years now,â Sarah replied with a shrug. âSome boys have to be put in their place. But I feel bad for Spot Conlonâs back, having to carry the whole wrestling team.â
The level of respect Katherine had for Sarah was only beginning to grow. âDo you think you could teach me?â
âHow to fight? Sure. But can I ask something in return?â
Katherine grew nervous again, wondering what Sarah could want from her. Still, she nodded.
âWhen you told me about your dad being the principal...you said I reacted the way you hoped. What was that about?â
Katherine sighed, relieved that it was only a question, but also distressed at the question itself. It was a topic she didnât want to get into. She almost wanted to tell Sarah to mind her own business and that she didnât want to learn to fight after all. But she couldnât tell that to her. Not after sheâd defended her from the Delancey brothers.
âIt has to do with a mutual friend of ours, Jack Kelly.â She hoped that would satisfy Sarah, but she just looked more intrigued. Katherine parked in front of Sarahâs house and turned off the car, preparing herself for the conversation she was about to have. Sheâd never told anyone because she didnât have anyone to tell. âSo, you know that we dated. And it was going great. Really great. I...really liked him.â
She could tell Sarah was listening intently, in a caring way. âI wanted to introduce him to my parents. He was fine with my mom. She loved him and he got along with her. But then when it came time to meet my dadâŚâ
Katherine paused as she thought about it. Sheâd thought about it for so long after the fact, that it was the reason she decided to cut herself off from everyone. âI hadnât told him my dad was the principal. I just donât want to be known as the principalâs daughter, you know? I want to be known as the school paperâs editor. But when he saw who my father wasâŚhe broke up with me.â
There. Sheâd said it. For some time, sheâd told anyone whoâd asked that sheâd been the one to break up with him. That heâd been too immature for her. Or she implied that heâd cheated on her. But sheâd never admitted that he was the one that dumped her. Because she still didnât entirely understand why.
âHe broke up with you because your dad is the principal?â
âThatâs what he told me. He told me I was deceptive because I hadnât told him. He said that he couldnât deal with that kind of pressure. It hurt. It...still hurts.â
âKatherine, do you...Do you still have feelings for him?â
Katherine was on the verge of tears. Sheâd tried to remain emotionless, but sheâd kept it in so long that she felt like the dam was about to break. âI love him,â she said finally, unable to control it anymore.
For a few minutes all she could do was struggle to breathe as tears streamed down her face. Sarah had grabbed her hand for support, and Katherine leaned her head onto the other girlâs shoulder.
When she calmed down, Sarah gave her hand a soft squeeze. âHis loss,â she said. âHe let you go for a stupid reason, but you donât need him anyway. Youâre a strong woman and youâll find someone just as strong as you someday. You are better than Jack Kelly. And someday heâll be just a spec on the peripheral of your memory as you go places.â
Katherine squeezed back, and then let Sarah go to grab some tissues from the glove compartment. She cleaned herself and then smiled at the other girl. âThank you. But itâs been months. I donât know if I can get over him. I see him too much.â
âTrust me,â Sarah replied, âyou can do it. You just need to focus on yourself. You can do it.â
Those were the words that kept running through Katherineâs mind after Sarah went inside her house. The words she thought as she drove home. The words she thought as she removed her makeup. As she showered. As she said goodnight to her father. And as she fell asleep.
The past week and a half since the party had been kind of awkward for David. At lunch, heâd been so distant that Crutchie hit him with his crutch and asked him what was wrong. David told him he was worried about an exam. In art class, he could see Jack looking up at him, wanting to talk to him, but not saying much. It was always small talk.
David couldnât help but feel that heâd ruined something even though nothing had happened. But he couldnât help thinking about that kiss between Jack and Sarah. He couldnât help but think about his conversation with Crutchie in the closet. He couldnât help but think that he needed to quit his crush on Jack for things to get back to normal. Thatâs why he was trying to distance himself. He just wished the process would go faster.
âYou need to stop being an asshole.â David looked up out of his locker to see Crutchie standing there. He hadnât heard him approach, so he was startled, especially with his choice of words.
âIâm sorry?â he replied, wondering what Crutchie was talking about, though sensing it had to with the way he was behaving.
âIs it because of what I said at the party? I was drunk, okay? Just forget everything I said. I always get overdramatic when Iâm drunk.â
âItâs not...No. I have no idea what youâre--â
âBullshit.â David was taken aback. Crutchie was usually so nice and...innocent. He had a suspicion that it was all an act, but he hadnât expected Crutchie to be so blunt. âWhy are you being so awkward around Jack?â
Talking with Crutchie as of late made David anxious. He had to not only be honest with the shorter boy, but also with himself. He didnât like it, no matter how liberating it felt. âBecause he kissed my sister,â he answered hushedly. He looked around to make sure no one was listening before going on. âAnd yes maybe because of what you told me. How do you do it? How do you act so...apathetic?â
Crutchie shrugged. âIt gets easier if youâre acting all the time.â David could see the sadness in Crutchieâs eyes and he wondered if he was only seeing it now because he was letting him see it.
âIâm just trying to get over him. And I guess Iâm just going about it very obviously.â
âVery. He keeps whining to me about you.â
David wanted to ask what else Jack said about him, but decided that would only encourage his crush. Instead, he just sighed and tried to avoid eye contact with Crutchie.
âLook, in my experience you donât get over Jack. You either suck it up and stay his friend or you get with him and get your heart broken. Either way, you lose. But at least if you suck it up, you get to stay his friend.â
David just nodded. He couldnât help but think that if he got a chance to be with Jack, that he could be the exception to the rule. That he could be the one whose heart Jack wouldnât break.
âSo suck it up. And stop being an asshole.â
At the same time, that would be the easiest option. Doing it would be harder than saying it, but maybe it would help. Maybe then, eventually, his crush on Jack would disappear. Maybe it hadnât worked for Crutchie, but it would for him.
âHey guys!â Crutchie and David turned to see Jack approaching them. They both automatically smiled at him out of habit. And maybe admiration. âWhatâs going on?â
âWe were just talking about you,â Crutchie said immediately. âBrainstorming ideas for the queer club.â
âIâd love to hear them,â Jack replied, but before anyone had a chance to say anything else, he turned to David. âHey, can we talk?â
David looked at Crutchie as if to ask permission, and Crutchie looked back in confusion. âYeah, we can talk,â he responded.
âIâll uh, meet you at your bike then,â Crutchie told Jack, before turning and walking away awkwardly.
Jack waited until Crutchie was out of earshot before talking again. âSo...Iâve noticed that weâve kinda been acting weird around each other. And before you say it had nothing to do with me kissing Sarah...Well, we were fine before that, werenât we?â
David took a deep breath and reluctantly nodded. He hadnât expected to have to be so honest today.
âI just donât know what else to say to that. I know itâs weird that I made out with your sister but I swear it wonât happen again. I donât know what to do to make it better. If I had a sister, Iâd let you make out with her I guess.â
âJack, thatâs ridiculous. My sister made out with you because she wanted to, not because I let her.â For a second, David imagined what Jack having a sister would be like. Would he have a crush on her too?
âItâs just that I texted you that I was sorry for kissing your sister and you never texted back. And then youâve been kind of...freezing me out. And I just want to know why? I mean, Iâm genuinely sorry and--â
âJack.â David wanted to tell him. He wanted to say that he had feelings for him. But he knew that it would just make things worse. Not just for him, but for Jack. Even possibly for Crutchie. âItâs okay. I donât care that you made out with my sister. You donât need to apologize for that.â
âThen what is it? Does it have something to do with the club? Or is it about Katherine? Or what?â
âItâs...personal. Itâs just something that Iâm gonna have to get over. Donât worry about it, Jack.â
âI have to. I canât not worry about it. Because I canât stop thinking about it. AndâŚâ David was trying hard to end the conversation so he could walk away and go to the computer lab. He was already late meeting up with the rest of the paper crew. But there was a crack in Jackâs voice that made him focus on the other boy. âI canât stop thinking about you.â
Davidâs heart started beating a little faster. In his head he tried to convince himself that what Jack was saying had no deeper meaning.
âIâŚâ Jack struggled. âI have to be honest with you. I think youâre a great guy, Davey. I have ever since I met you. Thinking that you hate meâŚâ
âI donât hate you.â
âThinking that you hate me is one of the worst feelings Iâve ever felt. And maybe Iâm overreacting, but I canât help what I feel.â
âWhat do you feel?â The adrenaline rushing through David made him feel like he was going to explode.
âThe question is, what do you feel, Davey? Your sister told me you probably donât want to think about your own feelings, but she didnât tell me what feelings. She just told me to talk to you.â
David made a mental note to talk to Sarah later. At least she hadnât told Jack he liked him. Still, he had the same question for Jack. What did he feel?
âI have to be honest,â Jack said again. âBecause if Iâm not honest now, I donât think I ever will be. And if weâre gonna be best friends, I think I need to be honest. And if we canât be friends, then what Iâm about to tell you wonât matter anyway.â
So many emotions and thoughts were running through Davidâs mind. On the one hand, it couldâve been anything. On the other hand, it couldâve been a confession of interest. David didnât want to get his hopes up. After all, no one had ever liked him in that way. Especially the few people heâd ever had crushes on. Not that heâd ever told them. But seeing as how theyâd dated other people, he knew they werenât interested anyway.
âIâŚI...I...â Jack stuttered.
It bought David more time to think. Heâd known Jack for a couple of months and in that time, heâd seen plenty of girls flirt with Jack. And Romeo. Now he knew that even Crutchie had a thing for him. But while Jack flirted back, he never made advances on any of them. Heâd made out with Sarah, but Sarah confirmed that meant nothing. So it wasnât completely farfetched of an idea for Jack to maybe, perhaps, possibly have a thing for him.
âFuck,â said Jack, still struggling with the words. His cheeks went red, and in turn so did Davidâs.
But if Jack had a thing for him, why hadnât he made a move? Or told anyone? Maybe Jack had told someone. Maybe heâd told his best friend. Maybe Crutchie had known all along. Maybe thatâs why Crutchie had been watching David. Maybe thatâs why Crutchie confronted him in that closet. Maybe thatâs why Crutchie wanted him to suck it up.
âIâŚâ Jack started again.
But maybe David was just overthinking it. He did that a lot. The only way to know for sure was to ask. Jack was right. If they were meant to be friends, theyâd get over it. And if they werenât, then it didnât matter what he said.
âYou like me.â The words came out of Davidâs mouth, more as a statement than a question.
Jack blushed redder, but nodded. David had seen Jack flirt easily with other people, and yet there he was struggling with telling him that he liked him. Heâd seen him make out with his sister so easily and now he looked like a deer the headlights. Heâd been so scared to say his own feelings, and now he saw that Jack was even more scared.
âI like you.â David said the words with certainty and confidence. Seeing Jack in such a state of helplessness made him feel somewhat braver.
Jackâs eyebrows furrowed in confusion and then rose in realization. âOh.â
âYeah.â Both their eyes stared around for a bit before making their way back to each other. Another blush and a smile came to each of their faces. David didnât even know what to do next. Heâd never gotten this far with a love interest that wasnât part of a dating simulator game. If he thought it was awkward to tell his crush he liked him, he shouldâve waited for the aftermath.
But like an angel sent from heaven, an interruption appeared in the form of Sarah running down the hall towards them. âHey! Dave! Weâre late for the meeting. I got caught up in the bathroom reapplying some makeup. Hey, Jack. Oh Jack knows why. He touched my face in class like a the jerk he is and smudged my eyeliner. Dave?â She looked from one to the other and seemed to have a realization herself. âOh, am I interrupting something?â
David came back to reality and felt like panicking. He didnât know what to do next. He didnât know his options or what to choose. But Jack seemed to read his mind.
âNah, we were just done talking,â Jack told Sarah with a smile. âSorry about your makeup.â He turned back to David and gave him a grin that just made David want to melt. âGo on to your meeting. I know Katherine doesnât like to be left waiting. Iâll text you later. If you promise to reply this time.â
David returned the smile. âI promise.â
Jack nodded and turned to go, but suddenly turned back. He took a couple of steps toward David and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. Then he skipped backwards and waved goodbye.
David blushed again and avoided eye contact with his sister as he closed his locker.
âDavid...what was that about?â
âDonât worry about it. Iâll tell you later.â
âDave, are you and Jack like a thing now?â
âLater, Sarah. Later.â
âFine, but I want full details!â
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Chapter 9 - Apologsies
Iâve finally written another chapter. Donât think I havenât noticed the new followers. Thanks for the follow and this is for you.
Or read on AO3 if you prefer.
Sarah woke up with a hangover the day after the party. She recalled David taking her home after Jojoâs parents had kicked everyone out. But more importantly, she remembered kissing Jack. And she remembered seeing David staring at them. And Spot. And Katherine.
Sarah sat up in bed and immediately regretted it. Her head was pounding, urging her to go back to bed. She took some painkillers and drank a bottle of water before doing so. Her parents and David were still in bed. Les was watching cartoons and eating cereal but he didnât ask any questions. She wished she was still his age, naive enough to not have to worry about kisses and hangovers.
When she woke up again, it was because her mom wanted to know if she was okay. Sleeping in past noon wasnât normal for any of them. Though her mom might have suspected she had a hangover. She wasnât particularly quiet when she made Sarah get up.
David was in his room, but his door was open, so everyone knew he was awake. Sarah knocked on the doorframe and he looked at her. His expression was lifeless, which is how she knew he wasnât happy with her. He looked back at his computer screen without saying anything.
âDave, Iâm sorry.â She walked in and leaned against his wall. âLast night I was being really dumb. That kiss didnât mean anything and I donât even remember what I was thinking.â But she could remember why sheâd done it. She was just curious and wanted to see what it would feel like. She was even more disappointed in herself now that she knew she hadnât felt anything. âDavid, I promise you have nothing to worry about with me and Jack. We were both drunk.â
David was still looking at his computer, but his eyes were fixed to one spot as if he was listening closely to what she was saying.
âDave, say something. Please.â
After a second, he turned to her with a worried expression on his face. âDo you like him? LikeâŚmore than a friend?â
âNo, Dave. Just friends. Thatâs all we are, I promise.â
âAre you sure?â
âCross my heart.â
He nodded, but his expression remained the same. He remained silent for a few more seconds before quietly and nervously saying, âI think I do.â
âWhat?â
âI think I like him.â
âOh.â It made sense now why he didnât want her to be with Jack. It made sense why he was part of the LGBTQ+ Club, and why he suddenly had a best friend, and probably why heâd agreed to go to the party. âYou think you like him? You donât know for sure?â
David looked at the open door, as if he was worried someone was going to eavesdrop. Sarah took the hint and closed it. âI just know that I always want to be around him and I want to stare at him all the time andâŚâ He shrugged.
âAndâŚdo you want to kiss him?â Sarah asked. David went a little red at the cheeks and shrugged again. Of course he wanted to kiss him. âMaybe you should tell him.â
âNo. No, I canât do that. That would be worse than if you got with him. Because thenâŚWell, he probably doesnât even like me like that anyway.â
âYouâll never know if you donât ask, Dave.â
âIs that what you would do?â
âIâŚI donât know. If I trusted him enough to call him my best friend, then maybe. But usually guys tell me that they like me first soâŚYou know itâs different with me.â Sheâd never liked anyone like that before. Sheâd thought maybe she could with Jack, but after kissing him, and now finding out her brother liked him, she didnât think she and Jack would work out. But she knew Jack wasnât her only option.
Sarah and David continued talking for awhile, and he finally told her he forgave her. She left his room and knew the next person she needed to talk to was Spot. She texted him and waited for his response, which didnât come for several hours. Eventually they made plans to meet at Jacobiâs in the evening.
She got there first and ordered a burger meal. In waiting for him to respond, sheâd forgotten to eat, and now she was starving. Spot didnât get there until she had finished eating. She was dipping the leftover fries in her milkshake, thinking sheâd been stood up.
âSorry Iâm late. I was helping my mom clean,â Spot said as he sat down across from her.
âItâs fine.â She was just glad heâd shown up at all. âIâm the one who needs to be sorry. IâŚshouldnât have kissed Jack last night.â
Spot shook his head. âItâs fine. Itâs not like weâre exclusive or anything. Itâs not like weâve even gone on a date.â
Sarah sighed, wondering if she and Spot were over before theyâd even begun. She asked herself again why sheâd kissed Jack last night. She could have kissed Spot instead. He was so nice to her and they had clicked more than she ever had with Jack. She wasnât head over heels for him, but she didnât feel that way for Jack either.
But maybe she could. In time, maybe she could feel that way for him. Maybe the reason she hadnât felt anything with Jack the night before was because she hadnât known him long enough and she didnât have explicit feelings for him. Or maybe it was the alcohol. Either way, she needed to give this thing with Spot a chance.
She smiled at him and slid her tray of fries over at him. âThis could be our date.â
Spotâs eyebrows furrowed in confusion. âLook, I donât want to stand in the way if you and Jack Kelly have a thingâŚâ
âJackâs just a friend and thatâs all I ever want to be with him. But youâŚâ She shrugged. âI like you, Spot. And if you and I have something hereâŚIâd like to see where it goes. So letâs finish these fries and thenâŚwe can play some games. Sound like a good enough date?â
Spot smiled and nodded. They finished the fries and then walked around the place trying out different games and talking like they usually did. As far as a date, it went well. Spot walked Sarah home afterwards, but hesitated before leaving.
Sarah knew what it was. End of first date jitters. She felt it too. She knew what usually happened during first dates. The kiss. Though as far as she was concerned, sheâd had enough kisses in the past twenty-four hours. They both looked at each other for a few seconds before blushing and chuckling. âWeâŚdonât have to kiss,â she finally said.
âAlright,â he agreed. âBut we should definitely go on another date. We can work up to it. This was fun.â
âIt was.â They smiled at each other and then Spot took a step forward, giving herâŚa hug. She embraced him for a few seconds, relieved it wasnât a kiss. âSee you at school tomorrow,â she said as they parted ways.
But even though she and Spot were fine, she felt a little sick when she thought about going to school the next day. Because the next person she had to be okay with was Katherine. And she thought that somehow that would be the hardest conversation she would have to have so far.
She found Katherine at lunch the next day interviewing students about the cafeteria food. She was going to write a piece in the paper about the effects of unhealthy public school food on the student body. Sarah knew Katherine had been interviewing kids for weeks and so far, she hadnât even seen a rough draft of it. She figured Katherine was saving it for a really special edition.
Sarah waited until Katherine was done to approach her.
âWhat is it, Jacobs?â Katherine asked, surprising Sarah, who was coming from behind. âI saw you waiting for me.â
âI justâŚwas wondering if we could talk.â Why was she so more nervous about this than she was talking to Spot? And why did she want Katherineâs forgiveness more than she wanted her brotherâs?
âAbout what?â
âThe party the other night. And howâŚyou saw Jack and I kissing.â
Katherine raised a brow and tilted her head slightly.
âI know heâs your ex andâŚWell, I donât want you to think me and himâŚâ
âSarah, Iâm gonna stop you right there.â Katherine held up a finger. âYour first mistake was thinking itâs any of my business who Jack Kelly kisses. Your second mistake was thinking I give anyâŚâ She turned her hand palm upward. âFor lack of a better wordâŚfucks, about who you kiss. So if you can please stop wasting my timeââ
âI just want you to know,â Sarah interrupted, âthat your friendship matters more to me thanâŚany boy that I kiss.â Katherine remained silent. âYour approval matters to me andâŚby the way youâve acted around him, I can tell you donât like Jack. So obviously heâs notâŚdating material. For me at least. Because itâs none of my business who Jack Kelly kisses either.â
Katherine seemed to soften up a little at these words. âJust because I canât stand himâŚIt doesnât meanâŚâ She scoffed at herself and then took a deep breath. âOkay, Sarah, I get it. You respect my opinions. But theyâre my opinions. Youâre allowed to have your own. HoweverâŚIâm glad that you value my friendship in that way. I too enjoy your company andâŚhonestly, whoever you allow to kiss you is lucky in my book.â She looked uncomfortable saying those words, but Sarah could tell she meant them.
âThank you for being a friend,â she replied, and then laughed to herself. âTraveled down the road and back again.â Katherine looked confused. âYour heart is trueâŚYouâre a pal and a confidant?â The editor didnât seem to get it. âNevermind. Iâll see you after school, Katherine.â
Sarah walked a few steps before she was called back. âSarah, wait.â Katherine had that awkward look on her face again. âWould you like to go to a function with me?â
âA function?â
âItâs this stupid event my dadâs making me go to. Heâs being honored or something. And he wants me to bring a date.â
âA date?â Sheâd already gone on one too many dates in the past twenty-four hours.
âHe never said it had to be a guy. And itâd be nice to have a friend there. If you say no, Iâll have to ask Bill or Darcy, who are way less better company than youââ
âYes!â
âYes?â
âYes. Iâd love to go with you.â It was the easiest decision sheâd ever made. Sheâd been wanting to get to know Katherine better, and while getting secondhand information from Darcy and Bill was nice, getting it from the source would be much more satisfying.
âOkay, great,â Katherine said with a smile. âLet me give you the details then.â
Finally, Sarah felt like the girl was letting her in.
Davey was nowhere to be seen. Jack and Crutchie sat at their usual desks in Miss Meddaâs room, each of them eating a burger. Except Jack didnât feel like eating. His stomach had felt uneasy ever since the party. Heâd texted both Davey and Sarah to apologize. The last thing he needed was his crush to think he had a thing for his sister. Sarah had replied telling him everything was fine, but Davey had left him on read.
And now he was missing at lunch. âHeâs probably just out sick or something,â Crutchie said, trying to make him feel better. But Jack shook his head; he had heard from Race that Davey had showed up to PE, so he couldnât be out sick or something. Which meant he was avoiding him.
Of course, Jackâs worry was as to why he was avoiding him. Was it because he wanted to protect his sister? Or was it because he was jealous of her? Jack couldnât help but visualize a future in which he and Davey were together. He could picture it so clear, he was tempted to draw it for art class. Except, if he was wrong about DaveyâŚ
Maybe it was best to stick with the plan and remain friends. Because if Davey only saw him as a friend, it would ruin the friendship, and every lunch from then on would be exactly like the one he was currently having.
âAnyone ever tell you you think about boys too much?â Jack came out of his thoughts to side eye Crutchie. âAnd girls.â Jack rolled his eyes. âLook, if heâs here, youâll see him next period. Even if heâs avoiding you, heâs too square to ditch class.â
It was true, which relieved Jack a little bit. Though, there was still that tiny chance that Davey would ditch class. But he couldnât avoid him forever. He could at least talk to Sarah in his last class about the whole thing.
Jack finished his burger and distracted himself and his obviously bored best friend with talk about ideas for trust exercises. Itâs what Davey would have talked about if heâd been there. Crutchie didnât seem all too distracted, but he played along for Jackâs sake.
After lunch, Crutchie wished him luck and walked to his next class. Jack went to his but stood outside until the last minute. If he went inside and saw that Davey wasnât there, he knew he wouldnât be able to concentrate on his next project. He knew he had to come up with a new one since heâd given Katherine his old one.
He opened the door andâŚthere Davey was. Sitting in his usual seat, setting up his artwork on the desk. Jack sighed in relief, but slowly walked to his seat, hoping he wasnât just having a hallucination. As he sat down, Davey turned to him and smiled like he usually did.
Except it was different. It was as if he was faking it. It was the type of smile heâd known Crutchie to give. It seemed happy, but it was somewhere in the opposite direction. Or maybe Jack was just imagining things.
âHey, where were you at lunch?â he asked.
âOh, yeah, sorry. I was just helping Katherine out with stuff from the paper.â
Katherine was another one of those people heâd felt heâd disappointed. At least she never wore a fake smile when a smile wasnât what she was feeling. âOh, cool. No worries. Just missed you, thatâs all.â
Davey didnât even look up at that, but just gave a quick chortle. It made the smile on Jackâs face falter as he tried to think of something new to talk about.
Throughout the whole class, Davey didnât talk as much as he usually did. He seemed reserved, almost cold. Every time Jack tried to start a new conversation, it was as if Davey just shut it down. Heâd say a few words and then nothing. Jack even tried to make a few jokes and for the first time, Davey didnât laugh at them. He barely even acknowledged them.
The whole time he just wanted to bring up the subject of the kiss with Sarah, but he couldnât. He wanted to ask him why heâd never texted back, but he was scared of the answer. He tried to act like everything was normal even though it wasnât.
Jack tried focusing on his work, but all he could think of was Davey. He kept stealing glances at the taller boy, hoping heâd say something or at least look back at him. Instead, Davey was concentrating hard on his project.
It was a terrible feeling to know that not only your crush, but also one of your best friends, suddenly hated you. Or at least was acting very standoffish. It had happened once before, and it had taken a long time to get over. Jack didnât want history to repeat itself, but he also didnât want to push Davey away by saying anything.
After class, Davey smiled again and said goodbye, before quickly leaving to his next class. Jack took his time, trying to process that he was probably losing another friend. He got to his chemistry class and was relieved to see Sarah. She had a genuine smile for him, though it did look awkward.
âHey there, hot lips,â she said, making him bring his face to his palm in shame, a smile on his face.
âIâm sorry. I shouldnât haveâŚâ
âNo, I shouldnât have.â Jack lowered his hand and saw that Sarah also looked ashamed. âBut I did.â
âWe did.â She pat the seat next to her for him to sit down, which he did.
âYes. SoâŚStill friends?â
âOf course. Just friends?â
âPlease, Jack. Iâm way too out of your league for us to ever be anything more.â She elbowed him lightly in the rib and they both laughed.
The class continued normally, the way Jack wished it had gone the previous period. It was so easy to be around Sarah that heâd almost forgotten about DaveyâŚuntil she brought him up.
âHey, how was Dave last period?â
He struggled with what to say. He didnât want to sound all dramatic, and he knew it wasnât too bad. He wanted to convey that he seemed off, but instead said, âHe hates me.â And tried to laugh it off.
âNo, he doesnât.â
âHe does. He totally thinks Iâm after you.â
âUgh, Jack, Iâm telling you he doesnât.â
âHeâs playing the big brother role and he doesnât approve of me, even though Iâm not even into you like that.â
âJack.â Sarah grabbed his face and turned it towards hers, looking him straight in the eyes. Was she going to kiss him again? âHe doesnât hate you. Trust me. Itâs the complete opposite.â
âBut he was being so weird in classâŚâ
âHeâs probably trying to freeze you out so he doesnât have to think about his own feelings.â
âWhat feelings?â Feelings? LikeâŚfeelings? Friendly feelings? Romantic feelings? Feely feelings?
It was her turn to hesitate. Though she quickly recovered with a sound suggestion. âTalk to him. Like, a real talk. For calling each other best friends, you two donât communicate well.â
She wasnât wrong. But it wasnât an easy task. It was one thing to flirt. It was one thing to draw. It was one thing to talk to Crutchie about his feelings. But to actually talk to Davey? To be vulnerable around him? To let him see his weaknesses and imperfections? That was going to be difficult.
There was a tap at the bedroom window. Jojo didnât have to look to know who it was. There was only one person who ever tapped on his window anymore. âHey Race,â he said, as he opened it to let his best friend in.
âHey,â Race replied. âSo youâre in big trouble, huh.â
âHow can you tell?â
âYou havenât answered any of your texts. Did you parents take your phone away?â
Jojo picked up his phone to show Race he still had it. âTurned it off. Didnât feel like talking to anyone.â
âIs that why you werenât at school today either?â
âI wanted to spend time with my mom and dad butâŚthey were in and out of the house. I donât think they even noticed I was home.â
âThatâs fucked up. Letâs go out.â
Jojo shrugged. âEh. I donât really feel like going out.â
âNot even to celebrate? There could be drinks involvedâŚâ
A quiet chuckle came out of Jojo as he shook his head. The last thing he needed was to be drinking. The night of the party, after everyone was gone, he couldnât stop giggling while his parents scolded him. He blamed the alcohol and then laughed even more. âWhat are we celebrating?â
Race went over to the bed and plopped himself on top, staring at the ceiling with a smile on his face. âSpot kissed me.â
Jojo laughed again, taking a pillow and slamming Race in the face with it. âYou dumbass. No, really, what are we celebrating?â
Race snatched the pillow out of Jojoâs hand and hit him right back with it. âNo really, Spot Conlon kissed me.â
âWha?â Jojo was shocked, but he could tell Race wasnât lying or trying to pull his leg. The only pranks Race tried to pull on Jojo anymore were practical. This was not a joke.
âAfter the party. I followed him and he kissed me.â
âYou followed him? Were you drunk? Was he drunk? Did you put something in his drink?â He knew Race wasnât the type of person to do that, but he had to ask.
âI mean, I was a little drunk, but I donât think he was. Well, I think he got drunk on my lips.â
Jojo still didnât understand, as evident on his face. âSo he just kissed you out of nowhere orâŚwhat happened?â
âItâs all kind of a blur. We were arguing and then he just pulled me in and we kissed. And it was hot, man. But thenâŚhe had to go and be an asshole.â
Jojo raised an eyebrow and bobbed his head forward, questioning Race for more information.
âHe almost hit me. And I flinched. And then he ran away.â
âHe almost hit you?â
âYeah, it was like as soon as he realized what heâd done, he was ready to go allâŚSpot Conlon on me.â
âWell, I mean, you didnât need to follow him. Iâm sure you were being an asshole about it too.â
âMaybe so.â Race sat up and faced Jojo. âBut Iâm all talk. You know me. HeâŚHe scared me. Like, I thought I wasnât gonna make it home for a second.â
âBut he didnât hit you.â
âNo, itâs like he hesitated. Like he realized what he was doing. Like heâd done it before or something. He has done it before though hasnât he? Beat the shit out of people.â
âI donât know.â
âBut youâd tell me, right?â
âDuh.â Jojo had joined the wrestling team partly because he liked wrestling, but also partly to get to know Spot Conlon and learn if the rumors about him were true. Rumors about how the wrestling team was his gang and how theyâd go out and beat people up as a way to practice. But as long as Jojo had been on the team, he hadnât seen any of that. He figured it was all just talk when heâd heard a false rumor about himself going around. âBut remember when people were saying I beat the shit out of Crutchie for talking back to me?â
âOh yeah. Werenât you the one that told him he looked like he slept in the street or something?â
âYeah, something like that.â Heâd meant it as a joke. An ice breaker of sorts to talk to a guy he kind of, sort of, maybe had a crush on. He thought it worked because Crutchie then invited him to the LGBTQ+ Club. But theyâd been acquaintances at most ever since.
Jojo and Race remained silent as they thought. Jojo about Crutchie, and Race about Spot.
Finally Race spoke. âI think Iâm gonna confront him.â
âWho?â
âSpot. Iâm gonna give him a piece of my mind. And if he hits me, or threatens to hit me, Iâll just tell him I know heâs gay and that if he keeps being an asshole, Iâll tell everyone.â
Jojo sighed. âThatâs fucked up, Race.â
âI wouldnât actually do it. But heâs probably stupid enough to believe me.â
âThatâs still fucked up. Even if heâs gay or bi or whatever, and wasnât just drunk when he kissed youââ
âHe wasnât. He only had like one beer at the party.â
âEven so,â Jojo continued, âdoing that could derail his coming out progress. You could fuck him up even more than he already could be.â
âBut heâs Spot Conlon man. He should know heâs influential. If he came out as gayâŚheâd still be a stud. Heâd be likeâŚthe gay king of the school. And then he could bang me and Iâd be likeâŚâ
âThe gay queenâŚâ
Race hit him with the pillow again, but then got up and began walking regally back and forth, giving his imaginary audience a cupped wave. âThe gay queen. More like the gay side piece.â
âOoh, can I be the biscuit?â
âOh honey!â They both giggled and Race glomped Jojo on the bed.
âLook, whatever you decide to do,â Jojo recommended, âtread carefully. Heâs my friend too so donât fuck it up.â
âYou got it, Biscuit.â Race hugged Jojo tighter and Jojo reciprocated.
âAlright, youâve convinced me. Letâs go out and celebrate.â
âYaaasssss!â Race exclaimed as they both got up. âAre your parents gonna care if youâre gone?â
âThey wonât notice. And if they doâŚwell, they wonât care.â It would have been less sad if it wasnât true. And while Jojo didnât think getting drunk would be good for him, it was something to do other than staying home and moping around.
The boys climbed out the window Race had come in from. They probably could have gone out the front door, but it was more fun this way. And it helped Jojo imagine what it would be like if his parents actually cared.
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@bootlegs-drawings-and-memes lol hOW?
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Chapter 8 - Kissies
Wrote a lot for this one. I hope itâs not a let down.
Or read on AO3 if you prefer.
Jojoâs party was not fun for Jack. And the reason for that was Katherine. If she wasnât there, he wouldnât feel as guilty. If she wasnât there, he could relax and have a good time. If she wasnât there, he could let himself think about Davey and how much he wanted to kiss him. But she was there.
Jojo had invited everyone from the LGBTQ+ Club, and a whole bunch of other people he didnât know. Jojo seemed to have a lot of friends. Apparently Spot Conlon was one of them. It had been a long time since Jack and Spot had been in the same room together. But even so, Spot was completely ignoring him. And thatâs how Jack liked it. Katherine was doing the same, but Jack didnât like that.
All he wanted was to talk to her, but every time he moved closer, she moved away. All Jack could do was drink and try not to think about her. But he couldnât stop watching her. Crutchie tried to keep him distracted but it didnât work. Two lost games of beer pong later, they were feeling the drinks.
And it seemed that so were a few other people. As Jack walked around, he could see Specs and Romeo making out on a bench by the pool, Race and Jojo dancing on a table, and even Sarah doing body shots off of some guy on the wrestling team he didnât know. Spot was nursing a bottle of beer, though Jack hadnât been paying enough attention to know if heâd had the same bottle all night. It seemed the only ones who werenât drinking were Kath and Davey. Typical.
What wasnât typical is that the two were talking to each other. Davey had told him heâd joined the school paper, but it was weird to see his ex talking with his current crush. And another reason he was distracted.
Before Crutchie could rope him into another game of beer pong, he was happy to see Jojo recruiting people for Seven Minutes in Heaven. Heâd finally be able to get some free time away from Kath and Davey. Except when he joined in the circle to spin the bottle, the two of them sat down across from him. Then, from behind them came Crutchie, the obvious schemer who convinced them to participate..
Heâd never known Katherine to play such childish games, and Davey just didnât seem the type. But Crutchie had always gotten along with Katherine, and he was very persuasive. And maybe he just didnât know Davey like he thought he did. Either way, there they were. His ex, his best friend, and his crush, all sitting across from him. It didnât help when Crutchie volunteered him to go first.
Jack spun the bottle, hoping it would land on Davey, or at least Crutchie. But of course, when it finally stopped, it was pointed directly at Katherine. And it was too late for both of them to back out. They entered the designated closet and Jojo yelled that he was starting the timer.
Jack and Katherine leaned against opposite sides of the closet, which was dark enough to hide their eyes, but not quiet enough to mask Katherineâs sighs.
Jack spoke first. âSo whatâd Crutchie say to get you to play this stupid game?â
She sighed again, but replied. âHe told me I needed to participate more and assured me I didnât have to do anything in the closet that I didnât want to. That the real game took place in the imagination of the other players.â
âWhat do you think they think weâre doing right now?â
âProbably what weâre doing right now.â
Things got quiet again and Jack wondered how many minutes had gone by. If he had enough time to have an actual conversation with her and tell her how sorry he was, but that their breakup was for the best. Sheâd never given him the chance to explain, and she probably never would again. It was now or never.
âIâm sorry,â he spoke.
She remained silent.
âIâm sorry for everything. I wish I could redo everything so that I didnât do what I did to you. But I canât. I have to live with my mistakes. But I miss you. In more than a physical way. I miss being your friend. IâŚâ
She still wasnât saying anything, and he wondered if she had fallen asleep or was ignoring him again.
He took a folded sheet of paper from his pocket and held it out for her. For a second, he thought she was ignoring him. That all hope was lost. He and Katherine would never get closure.
But then she took it. She took her phone out and turned on the flashlight to look at the sheet as she unfolded it. She sighed again, but it seemed to be in awe of the drawing.
âIs this...is this the drawing you were doing for your art class?â
âYeah, how did youâŚâ
âDavid told me. He...didnât tell me how beautiful it was.â
âDo you think I captured your beauty?â
âI think you captured beauty and put it on my face. If you donât get a good grade on thisâŚâ
âNo, you keep it. This is for you, not for a class.â
âBut I can tell youâve been working for a long time on this. I canât just take it.â
âSure you can. Itâs complete now. And I can always start something new for art class. That teacher loves me. Keep it Kath.â
She turned the flashlight off and held the drawing to her chest. âThank you, Jack. I love it.â
âHappy to hear it.â
For a couple of seconds, they were silent again, but then Jack heard a shift and felt Katherine coming close to him. Maybe she was going to hug him, or maybe try to kiss him, or maybe something else. Heâd be lying if he said he would have rejected any of her advances. But then the door opened and the lights blinded them for a second. It was Jojo, informing them time was up.
So maybe it wasnât the best reunion, but heâd talked to her and apologized. If this didnât affect their relationship positively, nothing would.At least sheâd taken his drawing and hadnât ripped it up like he thought she would.
They exited the closet and he immediately wanted to tell Crutchie and Davey what had happened. They both sat back down in their seat and then Crutchie volunteered to spin the bottle. It spun and spun...and landed on Davey. They both looked at each other, shrugged, and headed to the closet. With no one else in the circle he wanted to stick around for, Jack headed outside to hang out by the pool.
Specs and Romeo were nowhere to be seen, but there were still lots of people outside. Some were in the pool and others in the hot tub, but most were just hanging out like him. He sat on a bench to people-watch and wait for Crutchie or Davey to come to him. Instead, a slightly drunk Sarah sat down next to him.
âHey, Jacky.â She giggled and he giggled back.
âHey, Sarah.â He liked Sarah. She was fun to hang around, and though they riled each other up in class, they each brought the other back down to earth sometimes.
âI saw you and Katherine in the closet...Anything happen?â She poked him and he smiled. This was a think theyâd been doing as of lately. Teasing each other whenever someone of the opposite sex got too chummy with them. With all the girls that had crushes on Jack and all the guys that had crushes on Sarah, it wasnât hard.
âNo...We just talked. I gave her a drawing.â
Sarah feigned offense and lightly punched him on the arm. âWhen am I gonna get a drawing?â
âYou have to get in the closet with me to get a drawing,â he replied with a laugh.
âI donât think my brother would like that...Things might happen between us,â she teased.
But all Jack heard was that Davey wouldnât like that and his thoughts were filled with so many questions. Why didnât he want anything to happen between him and Sarah? Was it because Davey liked him? Or was it just because he was Daveyâs friend? âWhy wouldnât he want things to happen between us?â
She shrugged and put her arms around his neck. âProbably âcause Iâd take away his best friend.â
âOh, you think youâd be able to take me away from him?â He was teasing her again; he knew if Davey wanted him, no one would be able to take him away.
âI think given the chance, yeah. But youâre one of the few non-gay boys who wouldnât give me a chance. Itâs kind of odd to me.â
âWell, youâre one of the few non-gay girls who wouldnât give me a chance, soâŚâ
âOh, but canât you see Iâm dying for you, Jacky?â she said with a giggle.
He giggled back and put his hands on her waist. âOh, well why didnât you say so? We couldâve been the it couple of the school by now.â
âWeâd be the envy of all. Jack and Sarah. Jarah theyâd call us.â
âMmm...how romantic.â They laughed once again, this time looking each other in the eyes for a little longer than they usually did. He noticed her look down at his lips and blush slightly as she looked back up. She looked so pretty and they were so close. He felt himself lean closer to her so that their foreheads were touching. And then she closed the gap between their lips.
They kissed for a few seconds of tipsy bliss, but separated when they heard the house music stop. A woman was heard yelling, âJorgelino Josephino De La Guerra!â But Jack wasnât worried about that. He was worried about the faces looking at him and Sarah. Crutchie, Katherine, and Davey were all there staring. Why had he done that?
David hadnât even wanted to go to the party. Not at first at least. But Sarah insisted, since their parents wouldnât let her go unless he went too. And David knew they only reason theyâd said that was because they knew heâd never go to a party.
But then he got to talking to Katherine about the party. She told him sheâd only ever gone to one of Jojoâs parties and it wasnât bad. But she wasnât going to go to this one. David figured it was because she knew Jack would be there.
That had been one of Sarahâs selling points, but David already knew that, and he didnât know if he wanted to spend time with a drunk Jack. From what Sarah had told him, drunk people werenât fun when you were sober. And David didnât intend to drink.
But he found it fun trying to convince Katherine to go to the party. He never thought sheâd agree, but on Friday, a day before the party, she finally said sheâd go. Just to get him to stop asking. And so, because Katherine was going, now he had to go.
He didnât think the party was that great at first. Even though Jack and Crutchie were there, he hadnât gone to talk to them because he was spending all his time with Katherine. Sarah had gone off on her own to take shots or play beer pong or something. In the back of his mind he could hear his father berating him for not watching over his sister.
He and Katherine kept talking about the paper or English class, and he kept trying to change the subject, but he kept getting distracted by Jack. He couldnât tell if he was looking at him or at Katherine, but he was definitely staring in their direction. She could probably tell too, because she kept turning around and walking off, expecting him to follow. And David did. He didnât want to be left alone at the party. And he didnât want Katherine to leave because she didnât have anyone to talk to either.
A few hours into the party and Jojo started calling people inside to play Seven Minutes in Heaven. David had heard of this game and seen it several times on screen, so he knew it wasnât a game for him. Katherine didnât make a move to go inside either.
âAre you bored?â she asked. âIâm bored. And thirsty. I donât trust any of the drinks here.â
âIâm sure Jojo has sodas or something. I can go and get you one.â
Katherine made a face like she would rather not. She wasnât kidding about not trusting any of the drinks.
âBut yes, Iâm also bored,â he answered.
âThen you should go inside and play the game,â came a voice from behind them. David and Katherine turned around to see Crutchie chugging down whatever was in his red cup. The boy was beyond tipsy. He threw the cup on the ground and then put his arms around the two of them. âCâmon, itâll be fun.â
âIâd rather notâŚâ David started.
â...Itâs not my game,â Katherine continued.
âBut you two are bored! And you need to participate more! These are your high school years. Youâre never gonna get them back. Kathy, when youâre thirty and taking over the planet like Lois Lane, youâre gonna look back to this day and think, âWow, Iâm sure glad I got that out of my system back then.â And you, Dayvo, when youâre a doctor, or lawyer, or business executive, youâre gonna look back and relive those fun memories so you can healthily get back to your boring job.â
Katherine and David looked at each other, not sure if they should go through with it. Was this what peer pressure felt like?
âThink of this as one of those trust exercises in the queer club,â Crutchie went on. âTrust me. Youâll be fine. You donât have to do anything you donât want when youâre in the closet. Most people donât even talk. Besides, the real game is played after you leave the closet. The people outside wonder what went on inside, but you have the power. Only you know what happened, and you can hold that over them. And they can wonder what went on inside.â
Katherine sighed and shrugged at David. Okay, so they were doing this. He was going to play his first game of Seven Minutes in Heaven.
They sat down opposite Jack, who was the first to spin the bottle. He half hoped it would land on him, though if it did, he didnât know what they would do in that closet. But it landed on Katherine.
He hoped theyâd have a nice talk and that they could get along again. The more friends in their group, the better. They returned and he saw Katherine had a drawing in her hand. The one from art class that Jack had spent weeks working on. He hoped that was a good sign.
Then it was Crutchieâs turn to spin. He watched the bottle spin that he didnât realize at first that it had stopped on him. He looked at Crutchie and they shrugged.
Once inside the closet, Crutchie leaned against the wall opposite him. David was nervous, though he didnât know why.
âSo, Davey, do you wanna make out?â Crutchie ran the bottom of his crutch up the bottom of Davidâs leg seductively. The taller boy shivered.
Crutchie wasnât ugly. He was actually pretty cute. It was a wonder David hadnât thought of him in that way before. He wouldnât have minded making out with Crutchie.
âRelax, Iâm just joking. We can just stand here and talk. Like normal.â
âOkay, that sounds good.â He tried to relax, but he could feel Crutchieâs eyes on him. Did he want him to make a move? Or was he really just joking? He told himself this would be the first and last time he played this stupid game.
âIâve been watching you, Dave.â
David remained silent. Was Crutchie about to confess something?
âLike the way youâve been acting around Jack lately.â
Or maybe he was going to accuse him of something.
âLike youâre trying to act normal, but in doing so you look less normal.â
Was he that see-through? Or was it just that Crutchie was aware of things other people werenât?
âYou have a thing for Jack, donât you?â
David could feel himself going red, but he still didnât say anything. If he said no, heâd be lying. And if he said yes...He didnât know what would happen if he said yes.
âItâs okay, man. You wouldnât be the first...â
They were both quiet for a second. The way Crutchie trailed off seemed odd to David. Like he was trying to communicate something. Of course he wasnât the first to like Jack. There had been Katherine, and other girls at school heâd always seen flirting with Jack. But the way Crutchie said it...sounded almost sad. As if Crutchie had missed out. As if Crutchie was always there, watching and waiting and⌠âCrutchie, you have a thing for Jack too donât you?â
A quiet laugh escaped Crutchieâs mouth. âToo?â
âYouâre always with him. Youâre always so touchy-feely...Why arenât you two together?â
âTooâŚâ Crutchie repeated. âYou gave yourself away.â
He had. But now he knew Crutchie was in the same boat, which made him feel better. And worse at the same time. Because if Crutchie has the same feelings for Jack, then he had even less of a chance than he had before.
âWe canât be together,â Crutchie said after a moment of silence. âFor many reasons.â
âWhatâs the best one?â
âSame as the worst one.â
âTell me.â
âHow many minutes are left?â
âI need to know. I need a reason to stop having a thing for him.â
Crutchie sighed. âHis relationships never last. He always does something to ruin them. Which is why nothing can happen between us. Because if he breaks my heart, then Iâll have no one. So Iâd rather be in love with my best friend and know nothing can happen, than be with him for a short time and lose him forever.â
Seconds later, the door opened and they left the closet. David still had Crutchieâs words in his head. It seemed like a flawed way to think about Jack. While that mightâve been enough for Crutchie, it wasnât enough for him. It just made him want to know about all of Jackâs relationships and everything heâd done. He just couldnât imagine Jack doing anything so terrible.
âI promise I wonât say anything,â he told Crutchie and the other boy nodded back.
They saw that Jack and Katherine werenât playing the game anymore and decided to go look for them outside. They reached the backyard and David saw Jack talking with Sarah. He nudged Crutchie to point at them and then something unexpected happened. Jack and Sarah kissed.
So there they were, two guys with a thing for Jack Kelly, watching Jack Kelly have a thing with someone else. David didnât know how to feel. Jealous, angry, sad.
He looked down at Crutchie and saw something different. Something hollow, like heâd seen this several times and wasnât bothered by it. Like he was blocking his feelings out so that he didnât have to go through heartbreak. And he was a pro at it.
He looked back at his sister and his best friend, too distracted to even notice the commotion going on inside the house that finally made Jack and Sarah part lips. They looked up and saw them staring back. He wanted to go home.
Spot didnât want to see Race. But at the same time he did. He just wanted to stare at the other boy from afar, though he knew that was weird and stalkerish. He knew after what had happened with them, he had to stay away. The closer he got to Race, the more tempted he was.
Then there was the party. He could have not showed up. Heâd told Jojo he was going, but he didnât have to. He couldâve made up some excuse like heâd fallen asleep or he was on a date. Except Sarah was going to be there too. They still hadnât even gone on a date.
But he wasnât doing anything that night and heâd accidentally answered when Jojo had called him, so he had to go. A bunch of the guys on the wrestling team were at the party, so at least he had people to be around. He didnât talk much, and he grabbed a beer so heâd have something to drink whenever people did try to talk to him.
Jack and his friend with the crutch were hogging the beer pong table, so he couldnât distract himself with a game. Sarah was having fun drinking so he didnât want to disturb her. Jojo was being social and going from group to group being a great host. And then he saw Race.
The blond was in the pool, playing with a beach ball and some other people he didnât know. Spot took in Raceâs body and then turned away. He immediately wanted to look again, but he knew that was a bad idea. He decided to go inside instead, and see if anyone could distract him with a conversation.
This worked for a while, until he saw Race come inside the house. Jojo immediately scolded him for getting water in the house, but then Race pointed out another person who was spilling liquid in the kitchen. Spot wouldâve laughed, but he remembered he was supposed to be staying away from Race. It didnât help that Race hadnât put a shirt on. Once again, Spot had to leave the room.
He went upstairs where several people were making out in the hallways and the bedrooms, except Jojoâs. Spot saw there was a sign on the door that said, DO NOT ENTER, and when he tried to open it, it was locked. He walked back down the hall and saw Race at the top of the stairs. Was he following him? Without even acknowledging him, he walked past the boy and down the stairs. Then he looked up to see that Race was watching him.
Spot went outside to look for Sarah. At least she could distract him. When he finally found her, she was doing body shots off of one of his teammates. He wondered how much liquor sheâd had and how much more she could hold. She was starting to worry him, but he didnât want to be the one to ruin her fun. Didnât she have a brother to look after her? Heâd never officially met the guy, but heâd seen him a few times when he dropped Sarah off, so he knew what he looked like.
He started to look for him when he caught a glimpse of Race. He was back outside, this time with Jojo, and they were dancing on a table. Race still didnât have a shirt on, which was starting to annoy him. He turned around to go towards the pool but was shocked to see two guys making out. It was as if the universe was telling him he needed to leave. And then Jojo started running around telling people he was starting a game of Seven Minutes in Heaven. Yep, that was definitely his cue to leave.
âHey, Jo, Iâm heading out,â he told him when Jojo finally got around to him.
âNo, come on!â Spot could tell Jojo was a little drunk. He grabbed onto Spotâs arm and gave him a sad puppy look. âPlay with us. I promise itâll be fun.â
âI donât like that game, Jo. Iâm better off just going. Iâm not having a good time, anyway.â
Jojoâs puppy pout turned into an genuine frown and he nodded. âAlright, Spot. You donât have to stay. Sorry, youâre not enjoying yourself.â
âHey, itâs a great party nonetheless. Iâm just not in the mood for it tonight.â
Jojo nodded and then went back to recruiting people for the game.
Spot saw Race going to join, or maybe seeing if Spot was going to join. But he wasnât going to be roped into sharing a closet with Race. He walked in the opposite direction and sneaked into the bathroom. He peed and washed his hands, looking into the mirror. He wondered what it was that made it obvious to Race. Was it the way he acted? The way he spoke? He wanted to pinpoint it so he could suppress it. He had to be as straight as possible.
After sulking in his own thoughts, he exited the restroom and headed to the front door. As he passed by the living room, he saw the game of Seven Minutes in Heaven had already started. He saw Jack and the newspaper girl coming out of the closet and imagined himself in there with Race. He didnât know if he would be able to control himself. Race, however, was not sitting in the circle where the others were playing. Where was he?
His question was answered when he went out the front door. He didnât know if Race was waiting for him or not, but he was standing there on the porch, but with a t-shirt on. Again, ignoring him, he walked past.
âSpot wait.â
He paused without turning around, waiting to see what Race wanted. He half-wished heâd just kept on walking, but he was curious.
âLook, Iâm sorry.â Race walked over and stood next to him. Spot looked straight ahead, though he could see Race had his head down. âIâm sorry I tried to kiss you and Iâm sorry I made things weird. Jojo helped me see I was being unreasonable and that...well, that I need to not come on so strong with all my feelings.â
Spot remained silent. He hadnât expected this at all. Had that been the reason why Race had followed him all night? Just to be the bigger man and apologize? He tried replaying the whole night over, to try to make sense of it all. Race had probably just been trying to get up the courage to talk to him.
âI just want to be friends and get past all this,â Race said.
And that wouldâve been fine. Spot could have lived with that. Except, heâd gone the whole night thinking Race wanted something more from him. That Race wanted to seduce him and get him into a closet and kiss him. And the fact was that somewhere inside him, Spot wanted it to happen. It was wishful thinking. And he knew that the more time he spent with Race, especially now that he knew he was gay, the more wishful thinking heâd do. And he couldnât have that.
âIâm sorry, Higgins, but I canât be friends with you,â he said. âI canât be friends with a gay guy.â And he couldnât tell him the reasons behind it. He couldnât admit that to anyone.
Race scoffed and then spit at Spotâs shoes. âFuck you Conlon, you homophobic prick. I thought you were better than that but I guess the fuck not.â He turned to walk away but then turned back. âYou know, actually? I feel sorry for you. Because at least I can be out and proud, but you, youâll never be happy living in that closet of yours. Youâre just gonna fester and affect all the people around you...No, I feel more sorry for them. Because you at least have a chance to be honest with yourself. Asshole.â
Spot just nodded. Race could spout whatever he wanted, but he wasnât going to let it get to him. If he had to be honest, he hated himself. It wasnât just the gay thing. It was several things. Several things he didnât want to think about at that moment, because if he did, he might just lose himself and his composure. Luckily, his thoughts were interrupted by a car coming in the driveway.
âOh shit,â he heard Race say. âShit, thatâs Jojoâs parents. Theyâre not supposed to be here. And Jojo isnât supposed to be having a party.â
At this, Spot turned around and began to run back to the house. âWe have to warn him, then.â They ran back in just as the next couple was getting out of the closet. Sarahâs brother and the crutch boy. Spot didnât stop long enough to think about what they couldâve been doing in the closet, and instead just went over directly to Jojo.
âJo, your parents are here,â Race told him immediately.
âWhat? Shit.â
âYeah, shit,â Race repeated.
Jojoâs face went from shocked to analytical to mischievous, and then shrugged. âOh well, too late to kick everyone out.â
Race looked over to Spot, but Spot just shook his head. If Jojo didnât want to do anything, he couldnât make him do anything. Besides, his parents were moments from walking in through the front door so there wasnât much they could do anyway.
Spot looked toward the front door and saw the handle turning. He decided at that moment to run to the back yard. He didnât feel like seeing Jojo get in trouble. When he got there, he saw Sarah with Jack, and suddenly remembered he was going to tell her brother to watch over her. But then they kissed. Despite having seen that gay couple making out earlier, this was more shocking.
He remembered that sheâd told him she knew Jack. He just hadnât known that there was something going on between them. Back in the house, he heard a woman yelling out Jojoâs full name, and that snapped Spot back to Earth. It was time for him to leave. For real this time.
He left through the back and beat the rush, running for a few minutes. Then he let himself relax. He didnât know what to think about Sarah and Jack. He couldnât exactly be jealous, since they still hadnât even gone on a date. But he was irked that she hadnât told him there was someone else. He felt like he was wasting him time.
And then he felt bad for thinking that. Because he didnât want Sarah to just a means to an end, and Spot couldnât help but feel that thatâs what she was for him. Maybe Race was right. He would fester and affect the people around him. And heâd end up hurting Sarah one way or another. He didnât want that. She didnât deserve that.
âHey, I wasnât fucking done with you!â
Spot turned around and saw Race running toward him. How hadnât he noticed that Race was following him?
âYou didnât let me finish telling you how much of an asshole you are.â
âHiggins, stop,â Spot said, as Race finally caught up.
âNo, youâre gonna let me finish, because you need to know how wrong you are and how problematic youâre being!â
âHigginsâŚâ
âShut the fuck up and listen here.â Race was getting too close now. Spot could almost feel his warm breath on his face. He backed up, but Race just got closer. He had to push Race back. âDonât fucking push me.â
âHiggins, you need to stop now, or elseâŚâ
âOr else?â Race looked amused. âOr else, what?â He only kept getting closer.
âOr else IâllâŚâ Spot grabbed a fistful of Raceâs shirt and pushed him against a nearby wall. He was angry, but once he looked into the other boyâs eyes, he forgot what he was supposed to be doing.
Race's eyes traveled down to Spot's lips, while he licked his own. Spot noticed this and at that moment their eyes were drawn back to each other. Spot's brown eyes looked back and forth between Race's blue ones until he couldn't take it anymore.
Spot kissed Race, taking a deep breath as he did so. Spot still had one hand ahold of Race's shirt. The other traveled to his waist. Race's hands grabbed onto Spot's hair, pulling his head closer toward him. It had only taken that for Spot's tongue to enter Race's mouth, and for Race's tongue to meet it and attempt to fend it off, to no avail. Finally, Race's lips took hold of Spot's lower and he sucked on it, until the two boys were able to separate.
Spot's eyes flew open and he was once again staring into deep blue. Race had a smile on his face, but Spot looked confused. And angry. Not at Race, but at himself. He'd kissed a boy. Again. And not the same way he'd ever kissed a girl. No, this was intense, like a craving, not something that felt necessary.
Spot noticed he still had a fistful of Race's shirt, and unclenched in order to take a step back. He wanted to do it again, but he also wanted to run home and hide. He looked around to see if anyone had witnessed. And then he looked back at Race, and took another step back. âDonât...Race, donât kiss me again.â
Race smirked at him and responded, âYouâre the one that kissed me, dumbass. And boy, was it hot.â
âShut up.â
âI wouldnât mind if you kissed me again.â
âShut the fuck up.â
âMmm kiss me again and I will.â
âGoddamnit HIggins, will you stop saying that?â
âGrab my shirt again; it turned me on.â
âSHUT. UP.â Spot clenched his right hand into a fist and raised it up, thrusting it toward Raceâs face. The other boy flinched and closed his eyes, turning his head and raising his hands to shield himself. He let out a small whimper. Before Spotâs hand could make contact, he stopped. What was he doing? Was he really going to do this again? No, he couldnât.
Race opened his eyes and looked at Spot, but Spot was already running off. There were only two options he saw if he stayed. Either he would kiss Race, or beat him up. And he didnât want to do that. So he ran home, crawled into bed, and cried himself to sleep.
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Chapter 7 - Friendsies
And hereâs the second promised chapter. More to come soon. The next one will be a bit more fun.
Or read on AO3 if you prefer.
He wanted to be subtle about it, but Spot just couldnât think about how to ask her. He was walking Sarah home and they were talking about their days. Or rather, Sarah was talking and Spot was trying to bring up the subject on his mind.
âWhatâs on your mind?â she asked him suddenly.
He must have been obviously distracted. He stayed silent for a few seconds but decided to just come out with it. âWhere are we headed?â In a very vague way.
âTo my house?â The confused look she gave him almost made him laugh.
âI mean, you and me. Like, is this going anywhere? Are you and me gonna be a thing?â
âOh.â They were both silent now, as she thought. Spot couldnât help but feel that he could have done a better job bringing it up. He hadnât meant to sound so presumptuous. âWell, we could be.â
âI mean, if you donât want toâŚâ Spot felt like there was something off. Like they were being too formal. There was no passion behind it. But he was a guy and Sarah was a girl and he felt that inevitably something would have to happen between them. At least thatâs what his mother always told him.
Sarah hesitated again and sighed. âCan I tell you something in confidence?â
âSure, yeah.â He looked her in the eyes to let her knew she had his full attention. It was funny how easily he could look Sarah in they eyes, when every time he tried that with Race, he had to look away.
âIâve...never gone out with any guys.â
Spot raised an eyebrow. Was she telling him something? Was she confessing that she was...gay?
âIâve been asked out many times,â she continued, âbut Iâve never said yes. I just...I donât know. Maybe Iâm scared or maybe I just donât feel it.â
âYou donât feel it?â
âIâve never felt it.â
Spot could definitely relate. Heâd been out on a few dates, but had also never felt it. Whatever it was. Whatever he felt whenever he was around Race.
âBut maybe thatâs normal, right? Like how people say they can feel the presence of God, even though itâs not actually a feeling? Itâs just something you say, not something you actually physically feel. Maybe itâs like that. Itâs not something youâre supposed to physically feel, but just something you say you do.â
Spot perked up at this. He felt like Sarah was describing him and his own feelings. She understood what he was going through. âRight. And even though you donât feel it right away, you could grow to feel it. Like, how you canât just fall in love right away, but you can fall in love over time.â
âExactly!â She smiled at him, and for a second, Spot thought he felt something. Not sexual attraction, but something that could possibly grow into that. He felt like he could love her someday. That he could satisfy her and himself. That he could make his mother proud and live the normal life heâd always dreamed of.
âSo...will you go out with me?â There was a more proper question that could have started this conversation.
âOkay, Spot Conlon. Iâll go out with you.â They smiled at each other.
âCool.â Just as he said that, they reached her house. She waved goodbye and went in.
So that was it. They were dating. No actual date yet. No plans of going on one. No physical contact or attraction. No romantic feelings of any sort.
He turned to head home. He still had a smile on his face, thinking about what a success the conversation had been. Heâd been worried for nothing. And now he knew that Sarah had similar feelings as he did. Theyâd make a great couple.
But what if they didnât? Spotâs mood flipped as he thought about what it would mean to date Sarah. Because what if it wasnât true? What if he never did grow to love her? And worse, if she did? What if he could never get all the gay thoughts out of his head and he just had to lead a life of lies and unfulfillment? He couldnât do that. Especially not to Sarah.
His thoughts wandered off to all the things heâd heard before. That it was okay to be gay. Except, he didnât feel like it was. It didnât come from a place of religion, like a lot of homophobia did. It came from how he was raised.
His mother had always taught him that men were supposed to be with women. That people werenât born gay, they learned it through manipulation and deceit. That if men were supposed to be with men, and women with women, nature wouldâve found a way for them to procreate. That even if you had those thoughts, it was the action of homosexuality that was unforgivable. And those were just things his mother had said in passing.
As far as Spot knew, she didnât suspect him of being gay. Though she did occasionally tell him to change a shirt because it looked âfaggyâ on him. Or that only gay boys dye their hair. Or that if she had a gay kid, sheâd kick him out.
It made Spot sad, but she wasnât a bad woman. He knew she loved him. She took care of him when he was sick. She made his favorite food when she could tell he had a bad day. She watched all his favorite shows with him. She was practically his best friend. She was his mom and he loved her. He had to make her proud.
Spot got home and as he entered, his mom called to him from the kitchen. Sheâd made steak and potatoes. His favorite. Somehow she always knew when he needed cheering up. He ate cheerily and then they went into the living room to watch Netflix. Yeah, he had to make his mom proud and be the best little man he could for her.
No matter how unhappy it made him.
Katherine sat in English class, nervous about her exam grade. She was a perfectionist and ever since she decided to give up her social life, her only focus was her school life. Except, she hadnât been doing as well as before. She was starting to think that having a social life helped her de-stress. Or at least helped her think better.
After what felt like forever, their teacher finally started handing back their results. She took a deep breath when she got hers. She stared down at the upside-down test, crossed her fingers, and prayed to whatever entity was watching over her that sheâd gotten an A. Then she turned it over and exhaled. It was an A...minus.
Katherine nodded to herself. It was still a good grade. Still an A. She told herself she could do better, but that for now it was good enough. Maybe an extra hour of reading every night would help her out.
When the bell rang to let class out, she took her time collecting her things. Sheâd grown fond of the idea that the rest of the world would have to wait for her. From the back of the class, David came walking to exit through the front. Sheâd gotten used to saying hi to him every class. He seemed like a nice guy, and what he was doing for the LGBTQ+ Club was admirable.
She waved at him and as he waved back and smiled, he dropped his test grade. She bent down to pick it up and couldnât help but sneak a peek at the grade. It was an A...plus.
And suddenly she was so curious by it. She wanted to read his answers and the short essays and wanted to know what had separated her minus from his plus. Who was this boy and where did he come from?
âHere you go,â she said, as she handed the test over. âCongrats on the grade.â
âThanks,â he responded, shrugging, trying to play it off as not a big deal. But to her it was. âItâs nothing compared to your articles in the paper.â
âModestyâŚis not a quality I wouldâve pinned on one of Jack Kellyâs friends.â
âUhhâŚâ He shrugged again, clearly not knowing how to respond to that.
âMaybe you should join the paper.â She finished putting away her stuff and picked up her bag. âYouâve got to be a great writer to get that grade on the test.â
âYou know, Iâve been considering it,â David said, following her out of the classroom. âMy sister wants me to join.â
âYour sister?â
âSarah.â
Her interest piqued even more. âDavid Jacobs...Sarah Jacobs...Huh. How did I not catch that?â
âEveryone seems surprised to learn weâre twins.â
âWell, you are different sexes.â
He nodded, as if sheâd just pointed out something obvious. âRight.â
âWell, we meet after school in the computer lab if you do decide to join. But we do require some writing samples, just to see what you can write.â
He handed his test over to her. âConsider this my uh...application?â
âWill do, David, thanks,â she said, glad heâd taken the bait. They separated as they each headed to their next class. She skimmed through the test as she walked, focusing in on his writing. He wasnât the best with words, but he had some great ideas.
After school rolled along and Katherine was surprised to see David was the first one at the computer lab. She took his exam out of her bag and handed it back. âYouâre hired,â she said with a smile..
He smiled back, with a small laugh. âNo interview?â
âIn my paper, we let the writing do the talking.â She sat down at her usual computer and he sat next to her. âItâs still early in the week, so I can still assign you something if youâd like.â
âMight as well give it a try.â
âGood answer.â They discussed ideas for an article, and by the time theyâd finished, Denton had arrived with Bill and Darcy. Sarah was the last one to get there, and looked surprised to see her brother.
âIâm joining the paper,â he told her and she nodded quietly. Katherine couldnât tell if she was pleased or not, but she got to her work quickly, while Denton gave David a tour.
After, Denton had David sit next to Katherine to help her. She found that he was easy to talk to. He was quiet, but spoke up when he had something to say. If she ever did pick up a social life again, she would consider it for him. He seemed like one of those people she could just naturally be friends with. No hassle, no drama, like any good friendship was.
And then the conversation shifted onto Jack. Heâd just mentioned him casually and sheâd rolled her eyes.
âWhatâd he do to you?â
She quickly side eyed him, but he looked as if he knew he shouldnât have asked her that. It was almost cute how sorry he looked.
âSorry, nevermind.â
She focused intently on her computer screen, but for some reason she felt bad. âSo he hasnât told you?â
He looked surprised at her question. âNo. All I know is you two dated and then...you broke up. He looks guilty around you, and you look angry around him so...Obviously he did something to you. But itâs none of my business.â
âYouâre right. It isnât.â She couldnât concentrate on whatever she was trying to do on the computer.
âBut I do know he wants things to be better between you two.â
She gave him a look that told him to go on.
âIâm probably not supposed to tell you this, but heâs drawing a portrait of you for his art class.â
She wasnât impressed and let David know as much.
âThe trust exercises in the LGBTQ+ Club are partly to help you two get to a better place. I think he just wants you to be friends again.â
âWell you can tell him Iâve moved on,â she finally spoke. âMaybe not as quickly as he tends to do, but I have.â
âAs he tends to do?â
Maybe she just wanted to add fuel to the fire, because she was still upset over Jack. Maybe she just wanted a way to end the conversation. She couldnât properly think. âThat boy moves on quickly. And vastly. Girls, boys...He canât help it. Thatâs why he and I never worked. So Iâm glad itâs over, but I donât want to be his friend. I donât want to be his anything.â
âSounds fair,â he said, with a sense of understanding. He looked down at his notebook, where heâd been writing down ideas. She immediately felt bad about her words, but she wasnât going to bring the subject back up.
She turned and saw Sarah watching them, though not within hearing distance. They smiled at each other and then looked away. Katherine wondered why she was constantly sabotaging her friendships. She needed to stop.
âI just hate him!â Jojo wasnât particularly listening to what Race was saying. It was just a rehashing of what heâd been telling him for the past few days. He focused on driving. They were headed to his place to have some drinks and do homework. Â âDid you see him in class? He completely ignored me. Like if I wasnât there. Like if I hadnât helped improve his grades. Like...like an asshole.â
Spot hadnât ignored Jojo, however. Heâd asked him for help and Jojo did. Heâd already told Race that he was Switzerland on the whole subject. On the one hand, Spotâs comments were homophobic, but on the other hand, Race did try to kiss him. And heâd made that stupid gay bet, which Jojo had half a mind to remind him about. But he didnât think either of his friends was a bad guy so he remained neutral.
âThis is why I hate straight guys. If he even is straight. You make one little gay mistake and then they pretend like you never existed. Or like youâre the second coming of the plague. Their fragile masculinity gets the better of them and they reveal their true homophobic colors.â
âThink about the situation though.â Apparently, Jojo couldnât remain neutral for long. He really just wanted to shut Race up about it. Which he did, in waiting for an explanation. âYou wanted to prove that he was gay, and now that you have an answer, and you donât like it, you donât have a right to be upset.â
âThatâs now what this is about! Iâm fine that heâs straight. I donât care. Itâs the fact that he called me - my gayness - my pride and joy - a...lifestyle. As if that wasnât offensive.â
âI mean, it is kind of a lifestyle.â
âJojo, what?â
âNot the being gay part,â he quickly told him. âBut you are very extra sometimes in the way you carry yourself. I mean, you just called your homosexuality your pride and joy.â Before Race could interrupt, he continued. âAnd your lifestyle is currently boning any guy you can, or making bets with me about who is gay. Thereâs nothing wrong with any of that, but you canât say thatâs not a way of living. I mean, look at me.â
They remained quiet as they drove. Jojo could see Race turn to him from the corner of his eye. âThereâs nothing wrong with being a virgin either,â Race replied.
âI know, but to say that you and I donât carry different lifestyles is wrong.â
âOkay, but we werenât comparing lifestyles, Jo. He was saying homosexuality as a whole was a lifestyle. I can get whoredom and virtue are different, but straight and gay? Itâs just who you love. And love is a lifestyle.â
âYou donât love, Race.â
Another pause. âI love you. Maybe not in a gay way, but you know I love you like a brother.â
âI know, Race. I love you too. But face it. This whole thing with Spot was all a game for you. You wanted to out him for a bet.â
âI wouldnât have outed him to his parents or people at school or whatever. Just to me. Just to have a bit of fun.â
âYeah, fun.â
Race looked down at his lap, as Jojo turned into his driveway. He parked the car and turned it off, but neither of them moved.
âLook, Race, if you want I can try talking to him. We can all get together and hash this out. Iâm sure itâs just a misunderstanding waiting to be resolved.â
âWhy are straight guys so frustrating?â
âFragile masculinity.â
They both laughed. Jojo took his keys and opened the car door to get out. Race did the same. Minutes later they were in Jojoâs room listening to music. Race made Jojo put on their Broadway playlist because they needed âall the gay muses.â
âFragile masculinity is right,â Race then said, unprovoked.
Jojo was laying on his floor with his hands behind his head. He looked up at Race questioningly. The other boy was sitting on the bed, looking like he was thinking hard.
âThink about it. He totally wanted to kiss me back.â
âRace, what?â
âYou werenât there, but he totally did. He was staring into my eyes. He was talking to me about unwanted thoughts. What if they were gay thoughts? YeahâŚâ
Jojo rolled his eyes. He guessed Race didnât want to patch things up with Spot. Heâd just have to remain Switzerland between them for the rest of their lives.
âHeâs gay, Jo. He just has a fragile masculinity and he doesnât want to admit it. He said being gay was a lifestyle. What if he thinks that being straight is the lifestyle he needs, when being gay is the lifestyle he actually is?â
âI thought gay wasnât a lifestyle?â
âNo, itâs not. But in Spotâs mind it is. And he doesnât want to live that life âcause heâs in denial! Because heâs gay. And he wanted to kiss me. That makes sense, right?â
âSure, Race. Sure.â He was tired of being on the subject.
âI just have to make him see sense. I have to out him to himself.â
âIâm sure if heâs actually gay, he already knows.â
âYes, Jo, he has gay thoughts, but someone needs to show him that itâs okay. That he doesnât need to hang on to the idea of straight. That there are other options. That he can be happy.â
âAnd what if youâre wrong? What if he is straight? And youâre just thinking wishfully?â
âThen he needs to learn that being gay is okay. That even if he does think itâs a lifestyle, that itâs a good lifestyle. But Iâm not thinking wishfully. Heâs gay, Jojo. My gaydar has never been off.â
It was true, but Jojo still wasnât sure. âEven if he is gay, what are you going to do to help him?â
âIâm gonna...I donât know.â
âAnd if heâs ignoring you at school, what makes you think heâll give you a chance to talk to him?â
âI donât know. I need to find a way to trap him or something.â
âThat sounds highly problematic.â
âI need your help. You said you wanted us to talk. So get us to talk. Lock us in a closet or somethingâŚâ
âLock you in a closet?â
âYes, so I can help him...come out...of the closet. Get it?â
âYouâre an idiot.â But then Jojo had a thought. It was a selfish thought, but one that could work for both of them. âWhat if we have a party?â
âJo, yes! I like this idea! Tell me more.â
âWe can play seven minutes in heaven. Iâll make him come, you can be here, and you two can literally be locked in a closet. Itâs still highly problematic, but maybe with some drinks in him, he can come out or whateverâŚâ
âYou think so?â
âAnd with some drinks in you, you can come to your sensesâŚâ
âLetâs do it this weekend. Your parents are away. Your liquor has been restocked. Youâre clearly dying to do it.â
âAlright, Race. Letâs have a party.â
âFuck yeah!â They high-fived before Race pulled Jojo up so they could dance. They were going to have a great weekend.
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Chapter 6 - Crushsies
I have returned with not just one chapter, but two. Here is the first.
Or read on AO3 if you prefer.
Ever since their sleepover, David just couldnât think straight. When he wasnât thinking about school, he was thinking about Jack. But they werenât all good thoughts. In fact, heâd been making a pro-con list in his head about Jack. Not that it helped. Either way he was still thinking about him. And it was driving him crazy. David hated getting crushes. Especially on his friends.
The next time they met was at school during lunch. He sat with Jack and Crutchie as was usual, but he wasnât really into the conversation. This happened every so often. Sometimes he listened and remained quiet. Sometimes he participated. On this day, he was in his head. He wasnât even paying attention to what the other two were talking about.
The first pro on Davidâs list was that Jack was a nice guy. The most obvious reason was that his best friend was disabled. Though being friends with a disabled person didnât automatically make you a nice person. It was Jackâs friendship with Crutchie that attracted him to Jack. He was always very protective of Crutchie, even when Crutchie told him to stop. If David hadnât gotten to know them well, he wouldâve thought they were dating. It didnât help that they were very physically close.
David watched as Crutchie put his bad leg to rest on Jackâs lap. Jack just accepted it like it was no big deal. Like it was just an extent of his body. He let his hands rest on Crutchieâs ankle as they continued talking. David wished for a second that he was Crutchieâs leg.
He had to mentally shake his head. He had to remember that Jack was a friend and wanting anything more from him would spell disaster. That was his first con. It was bad enough that David had a crush on a guy. Not because he thought it was a bad thing, but because same-sex relationships in high school just seemed that much harder to start. It was lucky that David at least knew Jack was bi. But it was unlucky that he was one of his close friends.
This started a what-if chain in his brain. What if things went bad for them? What if Jack didnât like him in that way and things were awkward for them from then on? What if Jack did like him, and they got together, but then they broke up? Crutchie would surely be on Jackâs side, so he wouldnât just lose one friend, but two. What if the crush he had just passed? That was preferable to David, but he didnât know how to get that going.
Jack and Crutchie laughed about something. Part of David wanted to know what, but his mind was too busy. Jack leaned forward and began to doodle on a piece of paper. David was distracted from his thoughts for a minute as he watched him draw. He wondered how heâd gotten so good at it so young, and thought about how if he really wanted to, Jack could be a great artist someday.
That was pro number two. Not just that Jackâs art was beautiful, but the fact that Jack knew what he wanted to do. Heâd told David he wanted to move to a small town and just make art. He didnât even want to do it for the money. He didnât even want to be famous. In a world full of YouTube and reality tv stars, David found that refreshing. The way Jack said it, he didnât sound like any of those pretentious artists who stated they wanted the same things when in reality just didnât want people to think otherwise. The difference was that those artists wanted something other than what they said they wanted, while Jack seemed like he actually did want it..
But that brought up another issue. Because what if David didnât want the same things? Heâd just come from a small town where he hadnât found much joy. Whereas now, he at least had friends and the LGBTQ+ Club. He wasnât like Sarah who wanted to go to the big city, but he didnât want to go back either. And if thatâs what Jack was going for, then any possible long term relationship between him and David was doomed. And that was con number two.
David looked away from Jackâs drawing, trying to keep himself in check. His eyes found Crutchieâs, who seemed to be watching him with curiosity. David looked away and took a sip of the juice box heâd been playing with. He looked down at his food, a sandwich and an unopened bag of chips. Heâd been so caught up in his thoughts heâd forgotten to eat.
He opened the chips and offered some to the boys. Jack put his pencil down to grab a chip. David watched as Jack put the chip up to his mouth, his tongue darting out a bit. He couldnât help but watch Jackâs jaw line as he chewed, and his Adamâs apple when he swallowed. It really didnât help that Jack was extremely good looking. Pro number three.
David forced himself to look away and once again crossed paths with Crutchieâs eyes. This time it was Crutchie that looked away. Not in the embarrassed, slightly awkward way that David had earlier, but with a sense of satisfaction. It was as if Crutchie had been staring at him with suspicion and heâd gotten the answer he was looking for. David wondered what that was about, as he ate his sandwich.
It also gave him a chance to think of his third con. The whole Katherine ordeal. David didnât mind that Jack didnât want to talk about it. It was none of his business, after all. It was just the fact that whenever it was brought up, Jack looked really guilty. And Katherine just seemed so angry. It made David think that Jack did something really awful to her. And if he had done something so awful to Katherine, it meant that he was capable of doing something as awful to him. And if that was the case, he didnât ever want to find out what it was.
Still, he couldnât help his feelings. Somehow, the pros outweighed the cons, but it didnât mean he was ready to do anything about it. He needed a second opinion. Maybe even a third opinion. And with the way that Crutchie was looking at him, he thought maybe heâd be the first to talk to about all of this. After all, he was the closest person to Jack. Maybe talking to Sarah would also help. He just wanted to be able to think properly again.
âHey, we should all go out and celebrate.â It was a Friday afternoon, and Katherine had already given out the assignments. Sarah didnât feel like going home right away and Spot had texted her earlier that practice was going to run late.
âWhat are we celebrating?â Katherine asked immediately. âIs it your birthday?â She seemed curious, but not really concerned, seeing as how they only hung out after school.
âNo, but we should celebrate another successful paper!â
âWhy? We come out with one every week. Thatâs no reason to celebrate.â
âSure it is. We donât have to celebrate every week, but I think every once in awhile we should give ourselves a pat on the back.â
âThat sounds like a good idea, Katherine,â Mr. Denton said from his desk. âYou kids work hard all week. You deserve to relax.â
Sarah smiled at their advisor. The truth was that Sarah wanted to hang out with Katherine outside the paper. Get to know her better. She had Jack and Spot as friends, but she needed a girl friend. Someone to gossip with or at least talk to about girl stuff. Stuff she couldnât talk to Jack and Spot about.
âWell, where would we be going to celebrate, then?â Katherine asked, a little more open to the idea now that Denton had approved.
âNot sure...Darcy? Bill? Know of any places around here we can have fun?â
Darcy and Bill looked at each other and suddenly looked happy, as if they thought they werenât invited before. âThereâs this one place called Jacobiâs,â spoke Bill. âIt has burgers and pizza and stuff and thereâs an arcade.â
âAre there prizes?â Sarah asked. Bill nodded. âOoh, what do you think, Katherine?â The teen reporter looked like sheâd lost interest, but shrugged. âJacobiâs it is then.â
They packed up and left Mr. Denton in the computer lab. Since Katherine had recently gotten a car, she agreed to drive them, immediately making sure Sarah was sitting shotgun. The four got in the car and Katherine turned on the car. Sarah had expected the radio to come on, but there was nothing but silence. Bill gave directions, but other than that, the ride was quiet. Sarah could sense the discomfort and decided to talk.
âSo what kind of music do you guys listen to?â she asked.
âFilm scores mostly.â Sarah wasnât surprised by this at all. Bill looked like the type of guy who watched a lot of movies.
âJazz and hip hop.â This was more surprising as Darcy was the type of person sheâd describe as a WASP. Sheâd expected Christian rock, maybe gospel.
âI donât really like music.â This surprised Sarah most of all, because...well, who didnât like music? Katherine apparently.
âNone at all?â
âIâll dance to it at social functions, but no. I prefer to read.â
They got to Jacobiâs quickly since it wasnât too far from the school. Bill led them in. It seemed like he was a regular. He ordered his food and then went to go find a table for them to sit. Sarah ordered a slice of pizza and some fries, Katherine paid for the unlimited salad bar, and Darcy and Bill each got a burger.
They sat down to eat and talk, though Katherine didnât do much talking. Sarah was getting to know Darcy and Bill better at least. She was asking them lots of questions and found out that Bill didnât just write for the paper, but he liked to write scripts. She also found out Darcy was a poet who occasionally dabbled in rapping.
As little as Katherine was talking, she genuinely did seem interested in the conversation. Sheâd never really bothered learning much about Bill and Darcy so she was learning just as much as Sarah was. They were taking her mind off the school paper, and school in general. She forgot about all the stress she was in, and all the troubles she was still holding on to.
When they finished their food, they moved on to the arcade in the restaurant. Bill was willing to share his game card with everyone so they were all able to play some games. He also knew which ones had more chance of acquiring more points for prizes. Katherine was having fun, despite struggling with some of the games. Sarah was having fun watching everyone else have fun. She may not have been learning much about Katherine but at least they were all having a good time.
âYou all look like youâre having a good time,â came from behind them as they played a whack-a-mole game. They all turned to see Jack watching them with a smile.
âHey Jack!â Sarah said, hugging him as if she hadnât seen him earlier that day.
âHey, Sarah.â He turned to Katherine. âHi, Kath.â
Katherine didnât even try to be subtle. She whacked the moles harder than you were probably supposed to. She didnât even acknowledge Jackâs presence.
Jack nodded, giving up. He smiled at the other two boys and then back at Sarah. âSee ya later, Sarah.â
She waved at him as he walked away with his head down. Sarah was lost. Clearly something was going on with Jack and Katherine but she didnât know what and she didnât know who to comfort.
After she whacked the last mole, Katherine put the mallet back in its place and smiled at the three of them. Sarah could tell it wasnât genuine though. There was a pain in her eyes.
âIâm ready to go now, if you guys need a ride home.â
Bill and Darcy said they could walk, and Sarah said she would also stay. The truth was Sarah wanted to know what was going on and she knew Katherine wouldnât tell her, but Bill and Darcy would.
Katherine said her goodbyes and rushed off. Sarah waited until they had moved on to the next game to ask, âSo what was all that about? With Jack and Katherine.â
Bill and Darcy looked at each other as they often did, and then Darcy spoke. âThey used to date. And then Jack broke her heart.â
âThat week was the only week we ever did the paper by ourselves,â Bill said, focusing intensely on the game he was playing.
âShe came back the next week, berated us for doing such a bad job on the paper, and sheâs been hard on us ever since.â
âThe good thing is my writingâs improved. But she used to be nicer.â
âNot a lot nicer. But nicer.â
Sarah nodded in understanding, but she only had more questions she knew the boys wouldnât be able to answer. Like how exactly Jack broke Katherineâs heart. It seemed that Jack regretted whatever he did, but Sarah now knew to be more wary around him. Maybe he wasnât as different as she thought he was. She wished Katherine was still there so she could comfort her, but even then, Katherine probably wouldnât let her.
âSo whatâd you get?â Race asked as he followed Spot out of their math class. Jojo walked behind them, observing. Spot reluctantly showed Race the B grade on his test. âI knew it! Ha! Pay up, bud!â
Spot took his wallet out and gave Race a five dollar bill. Race pocketed this as if it was nothing, but Jojo knew that it wasnât just nothing.
âYou like him, donât you?â Jojo asked as soon as Spot had left them.
âWhat?â came from a very confused Race.
âYou like Spot.â This time it wasnât a question. But Jojo didnât know what to think of it. Did he approve?
âWhat are you talking about?â
âYouâre making bets with him.â
âI make bets with loads of people.â
âYou take loads from people you make bets with.â
Race gave Jojo a cheeky smile and then said, âYeah I do.â
Jojo then raised his eyebrow as if to say, âSo Iâm right.â
âOkay, so I think heâs hot. Whatever. But itâs not like Spot Conlon is gay. He barely even looks at me.â
Jojo shrugged. âWhy donât you ask him?â
âI canât just...thatâd be suicide.â
âYeah, itâd be better if you two just stayed friends.â
Race seemed annoyed at this. âYou know what? I bet you he is gay.â
âNope. Not making that bet.â
âSo you do think heâs gay.â
âI didnât say that. I just canât with you. Either way I lose.â
âIâm taking the bet anyway. Iâm gonna prove to you heâs gay. Iâm gonna do it.â
âSounds more like a threat than a bet.â
Over the next few days, Race thought up several plans as to how he could out Spot or at least get him to kiss him. Ultimately, his tried and true method seemed to be the winner. Jojo was right. Making bets was Raceâs strong suit and if thatâs what got Spot to out himself, thatâs what he was going to do.
And so they kept making bets in class. Some Spot would win, but most of them Race did. One of the days they were supposed to meet up with Jojo for their study group, Spot made the bet that Jojo wouldnât show up. With Race trying to seduce Spot all the time, Jojo just didnât have much interest in the group anymore. Heâd only showed up occasionally since their studying had moved to Jacobiâs..
âYou know, you donât win the bet until we leave,â Race said after fifteen minutes of waiting.
âWell donât try to keep me from leaving. Iâm winning this, Higgins.â Spot had begun calling Race by his last name because he thought his nickname was ridiculous.
âDonât count your chickens yet, Conlon.â And of course, Race had also begun to call Spot by his last name.
âIâll fight you.â
âYouâd lose.â Race looked up from his burger to see Spot staring at him with a smile. And every time they made eye contact, Race felt giddy. As if heâd won a bet he hadnât even made.
âThatâs amusing.â Spot, on the other hand, felt his heart skip a beat, and quickly looked away. He craved eye contact, but couldnât bring himself to keep it for long.
âWanna bet?â Maybe this was his chance. A chance to get into close physical contact with Spot. âActually, yeah, letâs bet. I bet I can beat you at wrestling.â Surely, with Spot on top of him heâd know if he was gay.
âThatâs stupid. I wouldnât bet you to see who could run faster. If you were actually good at wrestling, youâd be on the team.â
âWould I? Maybe I just donât like wrestling, even though Iâm good at it.â
âYouâre a dumbass,â Spot said with a laugh. âGet the fuck out.â
They finished their food and studied, before leaving. Race tried to stall as much as he could by challenging Spot to arm wrestling, losing twenty times. It wasnât until Spot let Race win that he knew he couldnât stall anymore. Jojo wasnât going to show up.
âWalk me home?â Race asked when they got outside.
Spot hesitated. This was new. âYou know I live the other way.â
âI get bored walking home. You keep me entertained.â
âListen to music or something.â
âLet me listen to your music. I wanna know what trash youâre into.â A lot about Spot Conlon was still a mystery to Race. Not only would this help him get to know him better, but it could also help him figure out if he was gay. Maybe Spot liked Britney or One Direction.
âMy musicâs the best, you little shit.â
âProve it.â
As much as experience was telling Spot to run home and get away from this kid, his heart was telling him the opposite. âFine. Iâll walk you home.â Race grinned as Spot took his phone out to play music. âDipshit.â
âYouâre not just gonna play it like that, are you? Plug your earphones in. I wanna listen closely.â It wasnât the best maneuver, but if he could get Spot to share his earphone, theyâd be close. Spot reluctantly plugged his earphones in and loaded his music, handing both to Race as they walked. âWhat am I supposed to do with this? Pick a song. Listen with me.â
âYouâre so needy.â But this was something Spot liked about him. He felt useful around Race, like he mattered and made a difference.
As far as Race could see, there was no Britney or One Direction, but he knew that didnât mean anything. As they walked to Raceâs, he made fun of the choices Spot did have. There were a lot of oldies, some heavy metal, and surprisingly, some classical.
âIt helps me sleep,â he explained, ask they walked through an alley Race said was a shortcut to his house.
âYou donât sleep well?â
Spot hesitated. That was something Race had become accustomed to. It was as if everything Spot told him was some dark secret he was trying to keep. Race hoped one of those dark secrets was being gay. âSometimes I just have nights where I think too much. I like to dwell on past mistakes or...unasked for feelings.â
âWhat kind of feelings?â Race asked curiously.
âI just said, unasked for.â He sounded defensive, which at first had stopped Race from asking more. As of lately, though, Race had gotten braver around him.
âBut like...do they make you feel good?â
Spot stopped, wondering what Race was getting at. They made eye contact, and this time Spot didnât look away. Race looked amused, but a little concerned. Spot wondered if he should say something to him. Not that it would help. The feelings would still be unasked for.
Race had to take his chance. Spot wasnât looking away, which meant that Race was still looking directly into his beautiful brown eyes. And Spot still wasnât looking away, which meant that heâd asked the right question. Spot didnât look away, which meant that now was the time to know for sure. And so he did it.
Spot was caught up in his thoughts that it took him a second to realize Race was getting closer to him. It took him a second to realize Raceâs face was nearing his. It took him a second to realize Race was coming in for a kiss.
But he did notice. And he backed up. His earphone fell out of his ear, and then out of Raceâs as he pulled his phone away. âWhat the fuck?â
Race felt a little embarrassed, but there was no way to explain away what heâd attempted to do. âSorry, I...I thought we were having a moment.â
âIâm not gay,â he replied, stating a lie heâd told himself countless times.
âI am,â Race said a bit defensively.
âThatâs nice for you, but I donât believe in living that kind of lifestyle.â
Raceâs face immediately soured. âLifestyle? Itâs not a lifestyle. Itâs who I am.â
âWho you are is a person. What you do is a choice.â
Race couldnât even comprehend what was going on right now. His feelings toward Spot had just done a complete 180. How had he become friends with such a person? Who even was Spot Conlon anymore? âYouâre...so wrong right now. I canâtâŚâ He didnât even know how to finish that statement.
âYeah, I canât either. Walk yourself home.â With that, Spot picked up his earphones and left. When he was alone, he reflected on what had just happened. Heâd almost been kissed by a guy. And what was worse is that he almost let him. But he knew he couldnât. He had to be a man. A good little man. And make his mother proud. He had to find a girlfriend. And he knew where to start with that.
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You Are A Bitch
Yellow disappears above me;
Ominous winds sing eerily.
Up beyond the clouds,
A single snowflake falls,
Reaching my warm palm.
Every bone freezes instantly
And I am stuck.
Behold, an exit plan!
Itâs not ideal but
The alternative wonât work.
Can I do it?
Handless is still handsome.
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Chapter 5 - Bailsies
I swear I finished this 5 minutes before midnight so technically itâs not late. A little more Sprace and Javid in this chapter. And if you wanted more Jojo and Crutchie, this chapter has them as well. Enjoy.
Or read on AO3 if you prefer.
âSorry boys, canât meet up today. But you 2 still should. Test seems hard.â Race put his phone away. It seemed Jojo was bailing on them and without an excuse, which meant he was probably hiding something. Or planning something. Race could hardly surprise Jojo, but Jojo was really good at surprising him.
Race replied to the three-way group chat and Spot and he decided to meet up at their nearest library instead. It wasnât like Jojo needed the help anyway. Spot was the one that Race was worried about.
Over the past few weeks, Race felt he'd grown somewhat closer to Spot. He wasn't as scared of him anymore. In fact, whenever he saw him, he was glad. He liked having a friend who could potentially beat anyone up. Though, he wasn't exactly sure Spot considered him a friend. Spot was still a bit distant, but he was always grateful. Race felt giddy whenever Spot's smile appeared. Apparently Jojo had noticed because he'd asked him about why he seemed to get excited whenever Spot understood a problem. Race had shrugged and told him it was because he felt like he was being a good teacher.
Of course, Race liked Spot in a more than friendly way. He thought Spot was hot and he'd let Jojo know as much. But when it came to anything more than that, he wouldn't admit it. Not even to himself. He just wanted Spot to like him as a friend, is what he told himself. Jojo had told him he needed to get laid.
Race got to the library early and scouted out an empty table with two seats. He put his feet on the other chair and pulled his math book out of his backpack to go over the sample problems they'd been given to prepare for the test. Within a few minutes, he'd planned out how to explain the harder ones to Spot. He'd be as prepared as he could be.
Race looked up and he paused as he saw Spot near the entrance of the library. The wrestler was wearing a tight red tank top that showed off his arms and curvature of his chest. Race's jaw almost dropped. "Hey, Spot!" he yelled, before remembering where he was. He waited for someone to loudly shush him, but it never happened. Maybe it was because Spot Conlon was in the building and no one wanted to get pounded. As Spot walked over to him, Race couldn't help but watch the guy's chest. He couldn't help but think he wanted Spot to pound him.
"Didn't anyone tell you you're in a library?" Spot asked.
"Huh?" Race had to forcibly look up at the guy's face. Maybe Jojo was right. He needed to get laid.
"You know, shhh." Spot put his finger up to his mouth and Race couldn't help but laugh. He moved his feet and Spot sat down. They immediately started on a problem, but something felt off. Race figured it was because Jojo wasn't there. But then Spot spoke up. "I'm not a library person. Are you a library person?"
It had come out of nowhere, but Race realized that's what felt off. "Fuck no!" he said loudly. He looked around to make sure he hadn't disturbed anyone and then whispered, "They're too quiet."
Spot nodded and got up. "I'm hungry. Are you hungry? Let's eat."
Spot nodded back and grinned, collecting his stuff.
They decided to get burgers at a nearby diner. Spot just dug into his, while Race took bites in between telling a story about how he once bet Jojo he couldn't eat a whole burger in under a minute and other bets he'd made with other friends.
"No wonder you're got at probability," Spot said when he was done, wiping his mouth with a napkin. "You're good at betting and stuff."
"Yep, that's why they call me Racetrack." Spot looked confused. Â "'Cause they make bets at the racetracks. The horse racetracks. Ironically, I've never been to one."
"Oh, I thought it's 'cause you run fast. I've seen you on the racetrack. The human racetrack."
Race sipped on his soda and shook his head. "Nah, I'm not even that fast."
"If you say so."
"Why do they call you Spot?" It was something he'd been curious about, but never had the opportunity to ask until now.
"I'm known for spotting at the gym," Spot answered casually. "I liked the name so I told everyone to call me that."
"Huh, I wouldn't have bet on that," he said with a smile.
Spot let out a small laugh and munched on his fries.
The two finished eating and then got back to practicing for their test. Spot was getting it for the most part. He was still nervous about the exam, but having Race practically tutor him made him feel better. Especially when Race told him he was doing well.
Spotâs feelings for Race were more or less the same. Though heâd never admit it, he thought the runner was cute at times and handsome at others. However, it was really the fact that Race was smart that really intrigued him. He knew he shouldnât, but he had a small crush. Of course, he couldnât let Race or anyone else know that. He had to remind himself to not stare at the younger guy for more than a second, or even stare at him at all if it was possible.
But when Race said, âOh hey,â Spot allowed himself to look. Every time he did so, he had to take everything in all at once. The dirty-blonde hair, the deep blue eyes, the soft-looking hand that was reaching out for him. Wait, what? âYou got a little somethingâŚâ Raceâs hand touched the corner of Spotâs lip and he wiped a smudge off with his finger. Spot flinched back and Race looked mortified. âShit. Iâm sorry.â
Spot forced himself to look down at his book. Race had given him that face a lot over the past weeks and Spot didnât like it. It was the face everyone gave him. A look of fear. A look he could only get rid of by reassuring him. âNo, no, itâs fine. I just donât like being touched.â
âOh. Well, still, sorry.â His expression had changed from fear to apologetic, which Spot saw when he looked up to nod. They got back to studying, until they decided to call it a day.
Before they went their separate ways, Spot cleared his throat. Heâd been thinking that maybe he was being too harsh. He wanted Race to be comfortable around him. âHey, just...If you do need to touch me for whatever reason, just warn me.â
âSure thing.â Race nodded and raised his hand to pat Spot, stopping short of actual skin to skin contact. âShit, I was gonna do it again. May I?â
Spot chuckled. âYou may.â
Race patted him twice on the shoulder and they bid farewell.
Walking home, Spot knew heâd make a mistake. Heâd given a guy permission to touch him. Sure, with consent, but somehow Spot knew heâd give the guy consent. It wouldnât have been that big of a deal, except the thought of Raceâs touch made Spotâs heart beat faster. Why did Jojo have to bail on them?
âThank you, Mr. and Mrs. Jacobs. Dinner was delicious.â David smiled as Jack spoke. Heâd been so charming all throughout dinner, that his nerves about his parents meeting him were practically gone. He could tell his parents were content with Jack, which was all heâd wanted. Not that he didnât have any confidence in Jack. His parents were just harsh when it came to friends. Or at least the ones Sarah had brought home to meet them, since he never had.
Jack was doing so well, David was willing to forgive Crutchie for bailing. Heâd said he had plans with his foster parents for dinner and he couldnât make it. David was disappointed, but at least Jack was there. His parents had told him if they approved of his friends, they could sleep over. Although, Jack had talked to them enough about the LGBTQ+ Club that David thought they might not let Jack sleep in his room. Or at least not with the door closed.
But after dinner, they informed him otherwise. Either they didnât suspect that David wasnât straight, or they trusted him enough not to do anything they wouldnât want him to do. Though, theyâd asked him enough times if he was different, telling him theyâd accept him in any way.
After dinner, David and Jack headed to his room where they talked about other trust exercises they could do for the club. The past few weeks they'd started each meeting with some kind of trust exercise. They'd even done trust falls to appease Crutchie. Everyone seemed to enjoy them, but as much as Jack had hoped Katherine would soften up, she hadn't. At least not to Jack. She'd continued to politely acknowledge David every day in English class, but he hadn't mentioned that to Jack in case it made him feel bad. The whole ordeal had made him curious, however.
"Hey, what'd you do to Katherine to make her dislike you so much?" he asked abruptly.
The two were sitting side to side at the foot of David's bed, with a notebook and their phones in hand. Jack scoot away a little at the question. "Don't ask me that."
"Okay," David replied. He waited for Jack to say something. Every time he said something stupid, either Jack or Crutchie would laugh it off and tell him it was fine, but this time Jack wasn't saying anything.
"Can I use your restroom?" Jack really didn't want to talk about Katherine.
"Yeah, out in the hallway, itâs first door on the left."
Jack got up quickly, without saying anything and headed out the bedroom. In the bathroom, he looked at himself in the mirror. He didn't want David to hate him. If he told David the complete truth about what he'd done to Katherine, and why he'd done it, he was sure he would lose his new best friend. He washed his hands and went back out into the hallway, where he was met with a familiar face he hadn't expected.
"Jack?" she said.
"Sarah?"
She hadn't expected to see him either. "What are you doing here?"
"I'm having a sleepover with my friend, Davey. What are you doing here?" Had David forgotten to mention having a girlfriend?
"I live here. Davey... Davey ?" She looked like that was such a weird name to say. "Dav id is my twin brother."
"Oh, right!" Jack recalled he'd mentioned having a twin sister. He just never imagined it would have been Sarah. After all these weeks, he'd forgotten to ask. "He did mention that. So, you two are twins. That's pretty cool, not gonna lie."
"Yeah, it has its perks. We can read each other's minds and we constantly pretend to be each other," she joked. "How do you know David?"
"We met in art class. He liked my drawings, I liked him." He shrugged.
"You're not...tutoring him in art, are you?"
David came out into the hallway just as Sarah and Jack were laughing. He felt odd about it. Did they know each other? Were they flirting? "Hey..."
"Hey, Davey ..." Sarah said, teasing him about the nickname. "I didn't know you knew Jack. He and I have chemistry."
"You what?" Had he heard that right?
"We have chemistry class together," Jack clarified. "I was just telling her you and me have art together."
"You and I," David corrected, still a little confused. For some reason he felt like one-upping Sarah. "We're also in the LGBTQ+ Club. Jack's the president."
"Oh?" Sarah looked more intrigued. She and Jack made eye contact that David was a little too uncomfortable with.
"I keep telling her she should join," David said trying to get them to look away. "But she says she's too busy with the school paper."
"The school paper?" Now Jack seemed to be the one intrigued. David wanted to bite his own tongue off. "So you know Katherine?"
"Yeah, she's a...tough editor."
"You know, she's also in the LGBTQ+ Club," Jack replied, with a playful smile. "And she's the secretary." He walked over to David and put his arm around him. "But you know, if you're too busy, that's cool." He then winked at her, pat David on the back, and went in his room.
Sarah nodded and then walked to her room.
David had so much to ask both of them. He stood there for a second to clear his thoughts, and then turned to Jack. "I'll be back." He walked over to Sarah's room, walking in, and closing the door.
"Yeah?" she asked from her bed.
"Were you flirting with Jack?"
She hesitated. "Maybe. He is single, right?"
"Yeah, but...don't."
Her face hardened. "Why not?"
That was a good question. One that David didn't have an answer for. Was he jealous? Yeah, he was jealous. But in what sense? He wasn't ready to think about that just yet. "He's my friend. I don't want you flirting with him. I've never flirted with any of your friends."
"David, can you even flirt?"
"Doesn't matter. I've never tried to flirt with your friends. Mom and Dad and Les like him, and I can see him becoming a long term...best friend."
"He's my friend too, you know."
"Yeah, but if something happens between you two and then you break up, I'm the one who's going to feel awkward inviting him over."
Sarah sighed and after a few seconds said, "Fine. I won't flirt with Jack."
"Thanks." David stood there feeling awkward about even having that conversation. But Jack was his first true friend, so he felt justified. "So Katherine's in the school paper?" he said, trying to break the tension.
"Yeah, why?"
David shrugged. "I think she's cool. Maybe I'll join."
Sarah raised her eyebrow and crossed her arms. "If I can't flirt with your friends, you can't flirt with mine."
"I wasn't even thinking about that, jeez." The twins smiled at each other and then David left. Back in his room, he sat back down next to Jack, again at the foot of his bed. "Hey, you weren't flirting with my sister, were you?"
Jack laughed, shaking his head. "I hope it wasn't coming off that way. No, Sarah's nice, but she's not the one I'm interested in."
David smiled, oblivious at what Jack was getting at. "You're still into Katherine, aren't you?"
"She's special, yeah." Jack didn't want to lie to David, but he couldn't tell if it was a leading question or not. He also remembered what he'd told Crutchie about trying to remain friends. He liked David, and he didn't want to ruin their friendship, but over the weeks, his crush had just grown. Every time he saw David's adorable smile, he just wanted to take him in his arms and kiss him. "But I just want her to be my friend again."
David still wasn't picking up what Jack was putting down. "So then...Crutchie?"
Jack laughed, more to himself than at David's suggestion. "Davey, let's talk about something else. Am I sleeping on the floor?"
David looked around the room and shook his head. "Nah, you're the guest. You take the bed. I'll take the floor."
"No way, it's your room. You take the bed."
"We can both take the floor, then."
"Or...we can both take the bed." Jack had said it as more of a joke than anything else, but David seemed to be taking it seriously.
"Yeah, okay. Let's do that then."
When the time came for them to go to bed, Jack took his side of the bed, and David took the other, laying the opposite direction Jack was. A few seconds later, David felt Jack moving and in the light coming from the window, saw that Jack had switched sides so they were both laying in the same direction.
"Sorry," Jack said. "I just think it's weird laying in different directions. Thought it was weird when Crutchie tried it at my place and I think it's weird now. I hope you don't mind."
"It's fine," David said. But he wasn't fine. He was unexpectedly nervous. At that moment he realized something. He had another boy in his bed. But not just any boy. A boy he liked. A boy he maybe more than liked. A boy he maybe had a crush on. No, a boy he definitely had a crush on.
Crutchie walked into The Bowery, once again surprised at how easily he was let in. The Bowery was the only gay bar in town, which he'd been introduced to by Specs. He put away his fake ID, which Specs had also provided, and then went over to the dance floor to look around. He sometimes like to dance, but only if he was there for fun. Tonight, he was there for pleasure.
He alternated between checking his phone and checking guys out, but he wasn't satisfied. He hobbled over to the bar and ordered a cosmo, when he turned and saw someone at the other side of the bar staring at him.
Jojo smiled as he saw Crutchie notice him. He took the two shots he had and walked over to sit next to him. "Come here often?" he said jokingly.
Crutchie did everything in his power not to reach for his crutch and hit Jojo with it. "What are you doing here?" he asked instead.
"Drinking." Jojo took a shot, offering the other one to Crutchie. He'd ran out of alcohol at home, which is why he'd gone out to get some. His parents hadn't been home in a week and he didn't want to risk going to the nearest liquor store to buy more. He also hadn't felt like seeing Race and Spot sober, which is why he'd bailed on their study group. So to the local gay bar it was. "You?"
Crutchie shook his head and replied, "Hunting for daddies." Jojo laughed, but then Crutchie held up his phone, showing the dating app he was on.
"Oh, good luck."
Crutchie could tell Jojo wasn't being sincere, but it didn't bother him. "Yeah, don't cockblock me."
"I'll try not to." Jojo took the other shot and then called the bartender over to get him more.
"To answer your earlier question, I do come here often. I like watching the Bowery Beauties perform."
"They're the drag queens, right?" Jojo only came for the drinks, if he had to be honest. "I thought you only came for the daddies."
"Them too, but only when I'm feeling blueballed." Or unwanted. The truth was that Jack had asked him to bail on the sleepover. Crutchie immediately disapproved, but Jack told him he couldn't help himself or his feelings for David. In the end, Crutchie let Jack have his way. Either David would reject him or they'd get together and it wouldn't end well. Just like every other one of Jack's relationships.
Jojo laughed. âI like you, Crutchie.â
âI know. But youâre not my type.â
Jojo hadnât meant it in that way, but maybe he was too obvious. Because he did have feelings for Crutchie. âWhat is your type?â
Crutchie took a swig of his drink and answered, âUnavailable.â
âYeah, mine too I guess.â Jojo downed his shot and then asked, âWhat about me is not your type?â
âFor starters, you smile too much.â
âYou smile too much too!â
âYeah, but Iâm disabled. If I donât smile, peopleâll stop liking me.â
âThatâs not true. If anything, theyâd understand your frustrations because youâre disabled.â
âNo, people would feel sorry for me. They wouldnât understand me. No one wants to be around a sad cripple.â
âYou shouldnât use that word.â
âNo, you shouldnât use that word. I can use it as much as I want.â
"Fair enough." He ordered another shot, as Crutchie continued.
"Second off, we're not compatible. Just 'cause you think we're sidekicks, doesn't mean we belong together."
"What do you mean, I think we're sidekicks?"
"I mean...if we were in a story, I'm the guy everyone feels sorry for and therefore can never get a date."
Jojo understood. "And I'm the funny-looking guy who's the best friend of the attractive, relatable dudes. I also never get a date."
"Exactly. So what, we're just doomed to end up with each other?"
"Not doomed. Why does it have to be a bad thing?"
"It's settling. And that's bullshit. I'm the main character of my life. Why can't I end up with the hot, hunky guy?"
"Why can't you, just as well, end up with the nice, unconventionally attractive boy-next-door type who's been there all along?"
"Because, Jojo, you haven't been there all along. You've just been there. You like me because I'm just as single and miserable as you. You're a square and I'm a rectangle. Just cause we both have four corners and four sides, doesn't mean we fit together."
"You're overthinking it."
"You're under thinking it. What do you and I have in common? We're both gay and lonely. But even the way we deal with that is different. You drown yourself in alcohol, and I drown myself in older men. Face it, Jo, we're both screwed up and two screw-ups don't make a right."
"Guess not." Jojo thought to his family. His parents were always fighting whenever they were together in the house. And individually they were just as bad. Jojo's mom mostly ignored him, but tried to make up for it by buying him whatever he wanted. His dad refused to acknowledge Jojo was gay, and was overbearing as a parent. He'd give Jojo bad advice and spent most of his time talking about himself and his accomplishments than letting Jojo talk about his own. Still, it was worse when the house was empty and he was alone. If he and Crutchie started dating, would he be any different from his parents, or would he have gotten all of their bad traits? "We'd make each other miserable, wouldn't we?"
"That's not to say you're not good company," Crutchie said, trying not to make Jojo feel too bad. "You're doing an okay job of cockblocking me by keeping me talking. Didn't even need an intervention."
Jojo looked down at his empty shot glass and replied. "You're doing a terrible job of keeping me from drinking."
"Eh, I never said I was good company." Jojo laughed just as Crutchie's phone buzzed. He looked at it and then put his hand on Jojo's leg. "Hey, this tonight, let's keep it between us, okay?" Jojo nodded. Crutchie got up, taking his crutch and leaving some cash on the bar. "I'll see you later, Jo. I'm gonna get me some daddy dick."
Jojo nodded again, and watched him walk away. He didn't know if the conversation they'd just had made him feel better or more miserable. He just knew that Crutchie had his vices, and he had his. He paid his tab and then left the bar. At least Crutchie's conversation had reminded him that he had friends to rely on. Maybe his parents weren't there. Maybe he didn't have a boyfriend. But at least he had his friends. At least he had Race and Spot.
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Chapter 4 - Trustsies
A day late this time, but it was my cousinâs birthday yesterday and I couldnât put him aside for this. Still, Iâll try to be more punctual in the future. Enjoy.
Or read on AO3 if you prefer.
Friday was paper day. Katherine got to school early just to see the new edition. She knew Darcy and Bill liked to place them in stacks in front of each classroom, and then pass the rest out throughout the day. She was eager to see it because if she knew Mr. Denton, he probably gave Sarah a job to do. Although Sarah seemed nice, Katherine couldnât trust anyone with her creation.
Darcy and Bill were still distributing the papers when Katherine found them. They immediately handed her a copy and watched as she made her assessment. She saw that the font was different than usual, but it was better somehow. The pictures were also placed in such a way that her eyes were drawn to them, but they didnât distract from the writing. Her face remained the same as she examined the paper so Darcy and Bill couldnât figure out what she was thinking. She folded the paper, said goodbye to the boys, and went to get ready for her first period.
Katherine hadnât always been so serious. There had been a time when she was friendlier. But then her heart was broken and everyone she thought she could trust became untrustworthy. Every guy she met was just another guy looking to get in her pants. Every girl she met was just another girl looking for just another guy. And she was sick of it. So she told herself sheâd just keep all feelings to herself. No one needed to know her business.
As soon as her teacher opened the classroom door, she went inside. As she took her history book out of her backpack, Katherine looked up to see Jack walk in. Theyâd officially met in the LGBTQ+ Club, but had mostly become friends in history. And now, she just didnât talk to him at all. She didnât even like to acknowledge him and the sad, apologetic looks he gave her. She wouldnât fall for that face again.
After school, she went directly to the computer lab like she did every day. Fridays werenât only for releasing the paper, but they were also for assigning stories for next weekâs paper. When she got to the computer lab, Sarah was already there. She looked a little nervous, especially when she saw Katherine.
âHey, editor-in-chiefâŚâ she said awkwardly.
âSarah,â Katherine acknowledged her.
âYou saw todayâs paper, right?â
âYeah I did.â
âAndâŚ?â
Katherine knew the girl wanted validation. She clearly had a lot to do with the changes to the paper, but Katherine didnât want her to think she liked her or anything. Still, the paper was like her baby. âI really liked it. Great job. Keep it up and Iâll give you a good assignment.â Sarah smiled and relaxed, happy to have not been a screw-up.
The two other boys and Mr. Denton got there and their weekly meeting began. Katherine gave assignments to both Darcy and Bill, and when it came to Sarah, Katherine sighed. âNow, keep this in mind Sarah. Nobody likes to do sports. But youâre our newest addition and therefore, we have to give you the burden of covering it for this week. More specifically, the wrestling match thatâs happening on Wednesday.â
Sarah was just happy to have an assignment. âOoh, I like sports. I was raised watching them. Iâm not really familiar with wrestling, but I have a friend on the team and he can explain things to me.â
Katherine raised a brow. âWhat friend?â
âSpot Conlon. Not sure of his real name but he goes by Spot.â
âHuh,â Katherine said with genuine awe. âI didnât know he could still make friends. I tried to interview him once and I think I got too personal so now he avoids me with the help of his...minions.â
âHe walks me home,â Sarah said with a shrug. âWithout his minions.â Katherine looked impressed, but not as much as Darcy and Bill did.
After the meeting, Katherine emailed Sarah some older editions of the paper to give her examples of how to write her article. They then left the room together. Spot Conlon was already there waiting for Sarah, but he didnât even try to make eye contact with Katherine. She felt it was better that way. She admired that he wanted privacy, and despite being surrounded by other jocks most of the time, she suspected he was a solitary person. Or at least someone with few friends.
Over the next few days, Katherine imagined what it would be like to be Spot Conlon. She could convince Darcy and Bill to be her bodyguards, but at most they would come off as simple pawns rather than valuable protectors. Sheâd have better luck enlisting defenders from the LGBTQ+ club.
On Wednesday, she headed to the Little Theatre during lunch. With Jack as president, she didnât enjoy it as much as before their breakup, but she felt that she needed to be there, not only because she was the secretary, but to show students that it did get better. That they did have support and people to talk to. That their rights mattered too.
When she walked in, she sat down in her usual chair, and took out her notebook, reading over the minutes sheâd taken last week. Apparently sheâd gotten there early; Jack and Crutchie were usually there before her.
The room was quiet for the most part, but it didnât last long. The doors opened in a very dramatic fashion and in came Miss Medda followed by Jack, Crutchie, and Davey. Katherine wondered what they were up to when she saw them beckoning the students at the desks to move out into the open area of the class.
âCâmon, children!â Miss Medda spoke. âLetâs gather round in a circle. Todayâs meeting is going to be a little bit different. Katherine, sweetie, you donât need to take notes today. Weâre doing a group activity.â
Katherine was confused, but she trusted Miss Medda. As she walked to the already forming circle, Miss Medda began counting heads. There werenât a lot of members so it was easy to tell when everyone was there.
âGood, weâre all here,â Medda continued. âNow, everyone, put both hands into the circle, like we were gonna do a pre-show pump-up chant.â The students did so. âAlright, now, without looking, have each hand grab another hand. And hold on tight.â Katherine looked up at the ceiling so she couldnât see whose hands sheâd gotten. âDid we all grab ahold of someone? Good. Now, without letting anyone go, untangle yourselves so that you form one big circle.â
âHey, Miss Medda,â came from Romeo. âHow come youâre not doing this with us?â
âOh please, child!â Medda replied with a laugh and a wave of her hand. âYou can start now!â She went to sit down and watch as the rest of the students tried to figure out how to untangle themselves.
Katherine looked to see who she was holding on to. On her left hand was Crutchie, which worried her a little. He was balancing on one leg, but he looked happy to be participating. On her right hand was the new kid, Davey. He looked nervous, but ready for success. She was glad she at least wasnât holding Jackâs hand. If she never held Jackâs hand again, it would be too soon.
She looked for him and he was already taking control, directing Romeo to go underneath Jojoâs arm. She was determined to also take control. Luckily for her, Crutchie did just as she said, and Davey seemed to already know what she was thinking. They instantly clicked and she liked that about him.
Soon, the group was halfway to a circle, or at least some oblong shape. Katherine and Jack were the clear leaders, giving out directions to the others. âCrutchie!â came out of both Jackâs and Katherineâs mouths.
âGo under Race and Specsâ arms,â Jack suggested.
âNo,â Katherine said before Crutchie could move. âJust arch your arm and Jojoâs over Raceâs head.â
Crutchie was torn. It felt as if a debate had started as he heard an onslaught of, âGo under!â and âNo, over!â He looked at Davey, who looked just as uncertain and shrugged at him. So Crutchie did the only thing he could think of and let go both Katherineâs and Jojoâs hands. He bounced on his leg for a few seconds, and then lost his balance.
As he fell forward, he couldnât help but think about how Jack had been right and he was about to feel a lot of pain. But then he felt several arms around him, catching him mid-fall. Davey had dove in front so as to somewhat save him from the fall. When he looked, Jack had grabbed onto his arm, Katherine was holding his hand again, and the rest of the group was also supporting some part of his body. A few seconds later and Miss Medda was there with his crutch.
âThanks, guys,â he said, as he found his balance. âBest trust fall Iâve been a part of.â Everyone laughed.
âWell, that didnât go exactly as planned,â Miss Medda stated, âbut at least Crutchie knows we all have his back. Now, letâs grab a seat and get this meeting started.â
Katherine felt bad for what had just gone down. What if they hadnât all come for Crutchieâs rescue? What if he had fallen all because she and Jack couldnât cooperate? But as she reached her desk and notebook, she pushed the thoughts to the back of her head. She had a job to do.
Sarah put her notebook down, choosing to cheer Spot on instead of taking notes. She wasnât the only one. There was even another boy on the team that was hardcore spurring him on. What Spot lacked in stature, he made up for in muscle and tenacity. It was something she admired in him. Every time he was in a tight spot and she thought he would give up, he surprised her and found a way out.
After the match, she waited for him so he could walk her home. The teammate whoâd been cheering along with her came out of the locker room early and introduced himself as Jojo. He thanked her for her spirit and then left. Spot eventually came out and as they walked, she asked him about the different moves heâd done. They had to stop constantly so she could write down notes, but he didnât seem annoyed.
When she got home, David was sitting on the porch. She said goodbye to Spot and he walked off. âHey, Dave,â she said with a smile.
David wasnât as happy. âThat was Spot Conlon.â
âYep,â she replied, not understanding his tone of voice.
âDo you know what they say about him?â
âWhat, that heâs the leader of a gang and heâs planning on burning down the school?â she replied sarcastically. Sheâd heard several rumors, and yet had never seen any clues that Spot was that kind of guy.
âWell, I only heard that he beat some guy up, but thatâs much worse. Sarah, why were you hanging out with him?â
She shrugged and headed into the house.
David followed, reaching his own conclusions. âWait, why did he walk you home? Are you two dating? SarahâŚâ She continued to ignore him and walked to her room. âSarah! You canât date him! Heâs dangerous!â
At this, Sarah turned around quickly and stopped David in his tracks. âListen, Dave. You may be a few minutes older than me, and you may be my brother, but that doesnât give you the right to tell me who I can and cannot date.â
âWow, you really like him, donât you?â She didnât know whether to keep yelling at him or go back to ignoring him. âWait, so did you even join a club? Or do you just go to his wrestling practices after school?â She scoffed, going into her room. He still followed. âDoes he even have wrestling practice after school? Or do you two just...make out behind the bleachers or something?â She threw a pillow at him, which he dodged. âDoes he know about you? That youâre-â
âNo!â she yelled angrily, as she realized what he was getting at. âYou know that only stays in this household. And if you must know, I did join a club. Itâs the school newspaper, and I need to write my article because itâs due tomorrow. So please, kindly fuck off.â
Sarah and Davidâs younger brother Les walked into the room, looking a bit annoyed, but curious. âWhat are you two fighting about? Iâm trying to watch my stories.â
David walked over to pick up the pillow Sarah had thrown. âNothing, Les. Iâm just being stupid. Go watch your shows.â
âHmph!â the ten-year-old grunted before leaving the room.
âOr better yet, why donât you read a book!â David called after him. He turned toward Sarah, frowning in regret. âSo you joined the newspaper? Thatâs awesome.â Sarah gave him a nod. âBut...are you dating Spot Conlon?â
She sighed. âNo, okay? Iâm not dating anyone yet, but youâll be the first to know when I do.â
âCool.â David handed her the pillow and smiled. She didnât return it, so he left her and walked out of the room.
âHey, Dave?â
He came rushing back. âYeah?â
���Youâre in the LGBT club?â
He was caught off guard by this. âOh...uh...yeah.â
âAre you...dating anyone?â
âNo!â he replied, a little too quickly for her taste. âBut youâll also be the first to know if I do.â She nodded at him and he turned to leave again. Then he paused and turned back around. âHowâd you know?â She stared blankly at him. âThat I was in the LGBTQ+ Club?â
âOh.â Now she was the one caught off guard. âI just saw you going into a classroom during lunch today and I read the flyer taped outside the door.â In reality, sheâd been following Katherine to ask her a question about the article she was going to write. Sheâd seen her go into the Little Theatre and then had seen David go in a minute later with two other boys.
âYou should join,â David offered. âEveryoneâs very accepting.â
âMaybe I will,â she said with a smile. âIâm still getting used to this paper club. But, hey, you should join us too! Iâm sure our editor would love you.â
âYeah, Iâll think about it. But if you need help proofreading your article or something, Iâm here.â
âThanks, Dave.â
âLove you, sis.â
âLove you too, bro.â
David left the room and Sarah looked through her notes. She was sure she had enough to write a decent article. Or at least a first draft. She opened her laptop, recalled her memories of the wrestling match, and began writing.
Race banged his fist on the door. He was a bit nervous. Heâd been to Jojoâs house several times before, but not with Spot Conlon there. Somewhere deep down, he still feared the guy would beat him up for some reason. It had only been a week since heâd first spoken to him, after all.
The door opened and Jojo peeked out, giving Race a really confused look. âDid you really knock?â
Jojoâs house was Raceâs second home. He usually just slipped in, sometimes hiding to try and scare Jojo. He never succeeded. âYeah, you know, just in caseâŚâ
âIn case...you didnât plan on trying to scare me today?â
âIs Spot here yet?â
âOh.â Jojo nodded. âHeâs in the kitchen eating. Are you...okay?â
âYeah, yeahâŚâ He pushed past Jojo into the house. He was tempted to run to Jojoâs room and just hide out there for some reason. Now that they were outside of school, all bets were off. Maybe Spot was just being nice in class.
âLook, Spotâs a nice guy, okay?â Jojo assured him, knowing what was going on. âI know everyone thinks heâs this scary guy who runs a drug ring and drops bodies like flies, but heâs just a teenager. He doesnât even carry a knife. Iâve checked.â He whispered the last sentence.
âHe runs a drug ring?â
âYep, like how you run a gambling ring.â
âHey, Iâm just one bad loss away from that becoming a reality.â
âRace, shut up and get in the kitchen.â
The two boys walked into the kitchen where Spot was sitting at the dining table with his textbook open. There were pizza bites and dino nuggets on the table, along with an untouched charcuterie platter. Race immediately made sure it didnât remain that way. Other than a quick glance, neither Race nor Spot acknowledged each other. Jojo knew he had to break the ice.
He walked over to the freezer and took out a huge chunk of ice cubes that had fused together, moving it into the sink. From a drawer, he removed an ice pick, and began picking at it. âAnyone want a drink? I mix really great cocktails.â
âHe really does,â Race told Spot, playing with a slice of prosciutto. âIâll take my usual screwdriver, bartender.â
âI donât uh...drink,â Spot said, taking a pizza bite. âBut Iâll take a water.â
âWhy donât you drink?â Jojo asked.
Spot stuffed the pizza bite in his mouth and shrugged, going back to the textbook.
Jojo and Race made eye contact, and then Jojo went on to make the drinks. Race cautiously sat across from Spot, trying to see what he was reading. âDid you do the homework yet?â
âUh...no,â Spot answered. âI thought weâd all do it together. Thatâs what this study group is for right?â
âRight.â Race didnât want to risk telling him heâd already finished the homework. He was good about doing his weekend homework every Friday after track practice. But it didnât matter if he had to do it again; he could always use the practice. âI havenât done it either.â He took out his own book and some paper to work on.
Jojo returned with Raceâs screwdriver, Spotâs water, and a glass of sangria for himself. âWe should get started, then.â A few drinks and math problems later, Race and Jojo started with the giggles.
Spot banged his fist on the table. The other two boys got quiet. Race from fear, but Jojo out of confusion. âSorry,â Spot apologized. âIâm just not getting this and you two are behaving like...kids.â
âWe are kids,â Jojo said.
âKids shouldnât drink.â
âYou may be right. But adults shouldnât leave kids alone then, should they?â Jojo knocked back his sangria, and then walked out of the room.
âJojoâs parents are like, never home,â Race explained. Spot nodded, but his face remained angry.
Race texted Jojo, asking if he was okay. He immediately received the response, âYeah, just taking a break.â
âSo, what part arenât you getting?â Race asked, putting his phone in his pocket.
âEverything.â
âYouâre not really talkative, are you?â He didnât receive a response. âIt wasnât really a question anyway, just an observation.â Just a few drinks had made Race more confident, or at least less fearful. He took a deck of cards from his other pocket and began sorting them. Spot was back to staring at his book. A few seconds later, Race had finished sorting, and he set the cards he wasnât using aside. âAlright, Spot, letâs play a game.â
âIâm busy.â
âI think youâll have time for this game. In my hand, I have thirty cards.â He fanned out the cards, showing Spot. âTen of them are red, and twenty of them are black. Out of the black ones, some of them are odd numbers, some of them are even, and some of them are face cards, which, letâs say, count as both odd and even.â At this point, he had Spotâs attention. âSo letâs say thirteen of these twenty black cards are odd numbers, including the face cards. And letâs say twelve of them are even, again, including the face cards.â He leaned in a little and loudly whispered, âIn case you havenât figured it out, Iâm giving you an example similar to the problem youâre stuck on.â Spot leaned back, but had a curious look on his face. Race handed the cards over and continued. âSo the first part of the problem would be, whatâs the probability of you picking a black card thatâs both odd and even? AKA, a face card.â
âSo I count the face cards.â
âCorrect. Or, youâd create an equation where you could figure it out.â Race wrote it down on a piece of paper and showed Spot. âOne-sixth. Get it?â
âKinda,â Spot said, a smile creeping up on his face. âKeep going.â
Race went on, hoping that with every problem, he could make Spot smile again. Soon, they were done with the homework, and Race looked over Spotâs paper to check that heâd done everything right. âLooks great,â he said, checking for a smile.
âThanks,â Spot said, taking the paper back. There was no smile, but the gratitude was enough for Race.
Jojo banged his fist against the door frame. Heâd been standing there for a minute, watching the two boys. After a brief cry in his room, heâd decided to come down and check that they hadnât killed each other. But just as heâd expected, they were getting along. Maybe even more than that. Jojo had been looking for a third person to complete their incomplete trio, and now he thought maybe heâd found one.
âHey, Jojo, sorry about earlier,â Spot spoke, with guilt on his face. âYouâve been so kind to me, welcoming me into your home and here I am being ungrateful and...Iâm the kid.â
Jojo just laughed. âWeâre all kids.â He pointed at the cards in Raceâs hands. âIf weâre done with math, whatâs say we play a little Go Fish? Unless thatâs too childish.â
âIâm never too much of a kid for Go Fish,â Spot answered. Race saw that the smile was back, and he accidentally strewed the cards all over the table. âOr Fifty-Two Pick-Up I guess.â The three of them giggled.
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Chapter 3 - Helpsies
I know, Iâm a couple of days late. Iâve been busy. And I had a bit of trouble writing this for a few reasons. The first was coming up with a reason for Crutchieâs messed up leg. I know heâs canonically supposed to have polio, but since it was pretty much eradicated in the US back in the 90s, I felt that it wouldnât be a good enough reason. So the reason I came up with is a bit simpler than that, and it opens up a plot point I might use in the future. Second, was coming up with a math problem for the Sprace part of the chapter. Iâve never taken statistics and probability, but seeing as how the problem I used is a probability problem, I felt it worked. Anyway, hereâs chapter 3! Enjoy!
Or read on AO3 if you prefer.
The next day, David couldnât help but feel he was doing a great job of adjusting to his new school. In PE, the kid Crutchie had called Race, completed his usual lap, but just before overlapping him, slowed down next to David to say, âHi DaveyâŚâ with a smile. And then, âBye DaveyâŚâ as he sped off again. In his English class, Katherine gave him a quick smile before taking a seat and huddling with two other boys. Despite ignoring him for the rest of the class, David was satisfied. It was safe to say joining the LGBTQ+ Club was the best decision he couldâve made.
Lunch came around and after waiting in line for a calzone, he headed to the Little Theatre. Inside, he quickly spotted Jack and Crutchie, sitting at two desks that had been pushed together. He also saw a few other kids he didnât know playing some trading card game he didnât know, and a few others either reading or doodling. No one else heâd seen yesterday. Even Miss Medda wasnât there.
âHey Davey, grab a desk and sit with us,â Jack said, as David approached him and Crutchie. David did as he was told and Jack moved his desk so the three of them were in a sort of triangle. âWe were just talking about what kind of trust exercises we could do for the club.â
âHeâs been trying to convince me physical activities, like a trust fall, wouldnât work,â Crutchie chimed in. He grabbed his crutch and tossed it to David. David held out an arm and was able to catch it right before it hit the floor. He looked a bit startled, but Crutchie laughed. âSee, Iâm good with the physical stuff. I donât need the crutch to stand and catch someone.â
David let out a small chuckle as he handed the crutch back. âIâd think a trust fall would be too obvious. But I donât think we should rule out anything physical.â Crutchie stuck his tongue out at Jack. âIf Crutchie says he can handle it, I think we should trust him.â
Crutchie laughed again, saying, âI like you, Davey. You got some great ideas.â
Jack crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair. âAlright then, Davey with the great ideas, what do you suggest?â
âHmm...lemme thinkâŚâ David took a bite out of his calzone and then put it back down on the paper plate it had come on. He scanned his brain for ideas as he chewed, thinking about anything heâd ever done at camp or his family reunions.
While David was thinking, Jack took a second to give David a discreet once-over. Crutchie, however, noticed and gave Jack a light kick in the shin with his good leg. David, in turn noticed this and looked back and forth between the two of them, trying to figure out what was happening. Crutchie was giving Jack and accusatory look and Jack was staring at him as if he didnât know what he was talking about.
âUh...whatâs going on?â David asked, feeling out of the loop. He thought that he could really benefit from a trust exercise right about now.
âIâm just punishing Jack,â Crutchie answered quickly, âfor trying to use my disability against me. As if I donât get that enough from everyone.â
âIâm just very overprotective of you, Crutch,â Jack replied. âSomeoneâs gotta be.â
âIf I fall, I fall. Itâs not a deadly stunt.â
âBut itâll hurt like shitâŚâ
âYouâre a shitâŚâ
âYouâd be the one eating shitâŚâ
âWeâll see who eats shit when weâre doing the trust fallâŚâ
âNot me, âcause Iâm not doin-â
âWhat is your disability?â David interrupted. âLike, what happened to your leg?â The other two fell silent and David felt like heâd messed up. He needed to learn to keep his mouth shut.
But then Crutchie smiled. âPeople donât usually ask,â he said. âThey just see that I have a crutch and move out of my way.â
âEven I didnât know until his foster mom mentioned it while I was sleeping over,â Jack contributed.
âYeah, âcause youâre a shit.â Crutchie kicked Jack again before turning back to David. âBut to answer your question, I was in an accident. Got hit by a car. I mostly recovered but my leg didnât. But Iâm still alive and other people have it worse. So I donât let it define me.â
David nodded in understanding. âBut you still call yourself Crutchie.â
âI didnât start that shit,â he responded with a laugh.
Jack covered his face with his hand and mumbled, âKick me again.â Crutchie did so, but not as hard. âI thought itâd be a cute nickname. Better than âCrutch Boyâ or âHe-Who-Must-Have-The-Crutch.ââ
âYou couldâve called me by my actual name. But of course, Crutchie stuck. I wear it as a badge of honor. And it makes people wonder if itâs my real name.â
The three laughed and then David asked, âWhat is your real name?â
Crutchie smirked and shook his head, âThatâs something youâll have to figure out on your own, Davey..â
David nodded and then remembered he was supposed to be thinking of ideas for the club. He continued eating his calzone.
âWhat about you, Davey? Whatâs your story?â Jack asked.
David shrugged with a nervous smile. âI donât know...Iâm just Davey.â
âBut what makes you special?â This came from Crutchie.
âOh uhâŚâ Whenever he was asked this question, he always went to his go-to list of interesting David facts. âI can play the piano...Iâm a Ravenclaw...but House Lannister...Iâm a twin, but not identical-â
âYouâre a twin?â the other two boys asked in unison, curious to learn more.
âYeah, figures thatâs the most interesting thing about me,â David replied with a snort.
âThatâs not true,â Jack said, as if he knew something about David that he didnât. âYouâre in our LGBTQ+ Club which is interesting on its own.â David nodded in agreement. âWhich uh...letter do you belong to?â
David raised an eyebrow in confusion while Crutchie rolled his eyes. âHe means, are you gay, bi, trans, queer...plus?â
âOh,â David responded and then thought for a few seconds. âI guess queer. I know Iâm not straight, thatâs all I know.â
âCool,â Jack said with a smile. âIâm a proud bisexual.â
âAnd Iâm straight...up guh-guh-gayyyyy.â
The three laughed again and continued talking until the end of lunch, when David remembered, âOh, shoot, I forgot we were supposed to be thinking of trust activities for the club.â
âWe can brainstorm some more in art class, butâŚâ Jack took out his notebook, wrote something, and ripped the page out, handing it to David. It was a phone number. âYou can also text me with ideas.â
âOh okay, cool,â David replied. The three got up and headed out of the Little Theatre. Before Crutchie could walk off to his class, David called out to him. âHey, do you wanna...maybe...give me your number too? Wouldnât wanna keep you out of the loop.â
Crutchie grinned widely and nodded. He wrote his number down on the piece of paper and then they went their separate ways. David smiled. Now he had two friends.
Spot wasnât bad at math. In fact, heâd been the first kid in his third grade class to learn all his timetables. But he wasnât in third grade anymore, and he wasnât learning his timetables. Statistics and probability was much harder than he thought it was going to be. He thought it was all about percentages and fractions, but what he got was so much more confusing than that.
He was in class, scratching at his chin, trying to figure out the problem the class had been given. It didnât seem hard but as he looked around the class, everyone seemed to have a different answer. But he couldnât ask for help. He was Spot Conlon. He was never helpless. He looked over the problem again but still didnât understand how some people were arriving at a different solution than the obvious one.
âYou need help there, Spot?â came the friendly voice of Jojo. Jojo was pretty special to Spot because he was another one of the few people that wasnât afraid of him. Not that Spot had ever threatened to hurt Jojo. The kid was too sweet to ever want to harm. He was funny too, which didnât hurt. And he was a great teammate to have, cheering people on at not just every match, but every practice as well.
So when Jojo asked him if he needed help, he knew he was in good hands. He trusted Jojo. âYeah, man. I donât get it. I mean, the answerâs one-half, right?â
âActually, itâs two-thirds.â Jojo took a second to double check his paper. âYeah, two-thirds.â
âBut how?â Now that heâd gotten confirmation that his answer was wrong, Spot needed to know how. He wasnât satisfied with just the answer.
âUh...I forgot. Hold up.â Jojo turned around to the desk behind him to ask his friend. Spot had seen him before, running around the school track like he was Usain Bolt. Heâd been impressed, but didnât think more about him. Now, he had to because the guy had turned his head to stare at Spot. Jojo turned back to Spot as well, and said, âRace here is gonna show you how you get the right answer.â
Spot waited while Race hesitated. Heâd obviously heard about Spotâs reputation. But after a few seconds, he began to talk, trying to explain to Spot why the answer was two-thirds using mathematical terms. Suffice it to say that Spot still wasnât understanding.
âOkay, so you have three boxes, right?â Race spoke. âAnd each box has two drawers, right? And each drawer has a coin.â
Maybe it was the way Race was talking to him, or maybe it was the fact that he was fed up with the problem, but Spot was not having it. âYeah, Iâm not stupid. You donât have to talk down to me like I donât know what the scenario is. I know what the scenario is.â He ran his fingers through his hair, getting a good grip.
Race went silent and looked down at his piece of paper. He hadnât meant to offend Spot. In fact, he was aiming for the opposite. Sure, in class he was safe, but who knew what Spot could do to him after school. His only hope was running fast enough, but he didnât know how fast Spot could run.
Jojo looked back and forth between Race and Spot and then giggled. âGo on, Race. Donât mind Spot. Heâs like this all the time.â
The other two boys made eye contact and Spot nodded. Race straightened up and continued. âAlright, so you pick a box and open up a drawer at random. It has a gold coin inside.â
Spot knew each box was different. One had two gold coins, another had two silver coins, and the last one had one gold and one silver. The question was, what was the probability of the second drawer also having a gold coin?
Race went on. âSo youâd think, it could only be one of two options, right? The box you picked canât be the one with two silver coins, so it must be one of the other two. Which means that the second drawer will either have a gold coin or a silver coin, making the probability of the second coin being gold one-half. Well thatâs wrong.â
Spot took a deep breath, making a conscious decision not to bang his fist on his desk. This kid was telling him what he already knew.
âOkay, okay. So letâs start with the first coin instead of going directly to the second one. Out of the six coins, how many are gold?â
Spot glanced at Jojo, who looked like he was enjoying himself. âThree,â Jojo replied, and Spot rolled his eyes.
âRight. So the first coin you pick will be any of those three coins. Which means for the second coin there will be three possibilities.â
âWhoa, whoa, whoa,â Spot interrupted. âHow?â
Race paused for a second as he thought. He took a pencil and placed it into his mouth, holding it as if it were a cigar. After a few seconds, he took a piece of paper and drew three boxes. In each box he drew two circles and then labeled each of them with either G for gold or S for silver. He then crossed out the box with the two S circles.
âSo,â Race started again, pointing to the box with one gold coin and one silver. âIf you picked this gold coin, then the second coin would be silver. Thatâs one possibility.â He then pointed at the first G in the other box. âIf you pick this gold coin first, then the second one would be gold. Thatâs your second possibility.â He moved his finger to the second G in the box. âBut letâs say you picked this gold coin first instead. Then your second coin would still be gold, but youâd have a third possibility.â
Spotâs eyebrows raised in understanding.
âTherefore, the probability of your second coin being gold would be two out of three possibilities.â
âTwo-thirds,â Spot stated as his lip curled into a smile. He didnât notice Race perk up at this, but Jojo did.
âThatâs right!â Jojo pat Race on the back. âNow I remember. See, Spot, I told you it was two-thirds.â
Spot was too distracted writing down the explanation to say anything. Race gave Jojo a quick smile before going back to his own work.
âIsnât Race a genius?â
âI wouldnât call me a genius. You can google the answer and get a better explanation.â
âYeah, but we didnât need to âcause we have you.â
Spot finally finished and looked up. His smile was gone, but he gave Race a nod of gratitude. Race wouldâve been satisfied with that, but then Spot followed through verbally. âThanks, man.â
Race relaxed a little, realizing Spot wasnât the bully heâd been led to believe he was. Heâd been afraid to talk to him all year long because of the stories heâd heard about him. But now maybe Spot Conlon could be his friend. Or at least someone who wouldnât beat him up. âMhm,â he replied, giving Spot a nod right back, and then one to Jojo.
Jojo was all smiles. He lived not only for making friends, but for making his friends become friends with his other friends. He was like a friendship wingman. So it shouldnât have been a surprise when he said, âWe should start a study group.â
Immediately, Spot and Race looked at Jojo and then at each other. It was really up to Spot to decide. âYeah, maybe,â he decided. It might as well have been a no. He already had a lot to worry about with wrestling, and he didnât want to add a whole study group to his list of responsibilities.
The other two nodded and went back to their work. It wasnât until near the end of class, when their teacher was passing back their latest test results, that they spoke again. Race had gotten an A, as he always did. Jojo got a B, which he was proud of. And Spot got a D, the last grade he wanted. He might as well have gotten an F.
âAlright,â he said, turning to face Jojo and Race. âLetâs start a study group.â Jojo did a little victory fist pump while Race looked up in surprise.
âWe can meet at my place,â Jojo said. âI can have snacks ready and all that.â
âSounds good,â Spot replied. âText me your address.â
The three made arrangements to meet that weekend, and thus the Stats and Probs Study Group was born.
Sarah had collected as much as she could the night before. Old essays, class assignments, and even some diary entries that she felt were really good pieces of writing. She put them all in a folder, thinking Katherine would take it home and read each piece in her free time.
She was so nervous about what Katherine would think, that she was barely paying attention in her last class. Her usual thoughts about Jack were nowhere to be seen, though he didnât seem to mind. He seemed giddily distracted.
When Sarah got to the computer lab after school and handed her folder to Katherine, she surprisingly began reading then and there. Skimming, more like. Sheâd move on to the next piece after a few seconds, giving a few nods of approval and even some quick chuckles at the diary entries. About halfway through the stack, she handed it back.
âYou didnât read everything.â
âI donât need to. Youâre qualified. Some of that stuff was actually pretty good.â Katherine went back to her computer where she was editing an article. âAlso, I have more important things to do.â
"What can I do to help?" The day before she'd been shown around and explained most of what they do. Everyone wrote at least one article with at least one picture, though from one of the sample newspapers Sarah had seen, it was clear Katherine wrote most articles. She was also in charge of editing every article. Darcy and Bill helped print out the papers and distribute them every Friday morning, which happened to be the next day. And Mr. Denton looked over everything to make sure it was PG and PC. So far, Sarah didn't have any job in the club, so she was just there to help in any way she could.
"Nothing right now," Katherine responded, brushing her off. "Go see if Darcy and Bill need anything."
Sarah was a little disappointed but she knew the girl didn't need any distractions. Darcy and Bill were sitting together talking with Mr. Denton. As she approached, the teacher saw the folder in her hand and gave her an amused smile. "You know, you didn't actually need to bring in any writing samples. You're in the club no matter what Katherine has to say about it."
"She's just so in charge," Sarah said, putting the folder in her backpack. "She's inspiring. I wanted to impress her."
"And was she impressed?" Denton asked. Darcy and Bill looked at her in anticipation.
"She said some of my stuff was pretty good." The boys nodded as if they'd expected that.
Mr. Denton just smiled. "That's a good sign. Katherine likes to go on rants when she reads bad writing."
"I wonder what she'd say about great writing. If I was pretty good, my brother would probably be amazing."
"You should have him join then," Denton said. "We're always looking for writers."
"I'll ask him, but he's not really the joining type."
Denton soon went back to his desk to do some of his own work and Sarah stayed with the two boys. "So what are we up to right now?"
"Waiting for Katherine to finish editing, basically," answered one of the boys. Sarah didn't think she'd be able to remember which was which, but as she saw that each was wearing similar clothes to what they'd been wearing the day before, she deduced that the one who had just spoken was Darcy. He had on a dress shirt tucked into his khaki pants and his hair was neatly combed. The other boy had on a superhero shirt.
"When she's done," Bill said, "we arrange everything on the template, print out a bunch of copies, and tomorrow morning we release it."
"She lets you arrange the paper?" She would've figured Katherine would be in charge of everything.
Darcy replied, "Mr. Denton felt she had too many responsibilities and we not enough, so we do it now."
"But we still ask Katherine for help with it," Bill whispered. "When Denton's not around."
"Of course," Sarah said, nodding. "So you guys hang out with her outside of the club?"
Darcy shook his head, but Bill nodded. They looked at each other and then Darcy explained. "We have English class with her, but we only ever talk about the paper. If it's not about that, she's not really interested."
"We've never hung out with her outside of school," Bill added.
"Well, except that one time she asked me to walk her home because the Delancey brothers were being creeps. But that was only one time."
"Does she have any friends outside of the paper?" Sarah couldn't imagine anyone being so obsessed with one thing.
Bill responded, "Not sure. At school she spends her free time either writing or interviewing people for articles. I know she wants to be a journalist someday."
Katherine seemed almost as antisocial as David, but Darcy and Bill didn't seem to know anything about her outside of school. And just like that, Sarah's curiosity grew. She was gonna make it her own personal assignment to find out as much as she could about the girl. And if she couldn't find information from other people, she'd go directly to the source. After all, Denton had told her yesterday that she would grow on Katherine.
It didn't take long for Katherine to finish editing. She sent the articles and photos for each to Darcy and Bill and they started copying and pasting all over the news template they used. Sarah was bored out of her mind watching the two boys try to figure out where everything should go. She could see Katherine out of the corner of her eye, just fidgeting, probably wishing she could do it all herself. Mr. Denton seemed to notice it too because he sent her home soon after. Sarah was slightly disappointed with that, but then Mr. Denton came to the three of them and requested for her to take the reigns.
"What?" She knew she was new and didn't want to risk ruining all the hard work that was already put into the paper. She would hate for Katherine to come in the next day and absolutely abhor anything she did.
"Don't worry," Denton replied. "Weâll help you out. I just want to see what you can do. Besides, how else are you going to learn if not by doing?"
She supposed he was right, but she was still nervous about it. Luckily, she had no reason to be.
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