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holdenmgrudges · 6 years

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Chapter 16 - Doubtsies

In this here chapter, Katherine and David have their doubts about Sarah. Meanwhile, Crutchie decides he doesn’t want to be alone, and Jojo has an epiphany.

Or read on AO3 if you prefer.

Katherine was still pissed off about the vandalism on the little theatre. Every issue of the school paper she made sure to mention that it was still remembered. She wasn’t as obsessed about it as Jack. She hadn’t tried to help him find out who had done it. She was of the belief that the culprit would eventually try something else and get caught, or if they didn’t, karma would get to them. Her mentions in the paper were meant to guilt trip them.

Besides that, she’d been pressuring her father to look more into it. She kept using his Principal of the Year award against him, telling him that a real principal of the year wouldn’t let this just happen and not do anything about it. He kept telling her he couldn’t do anything about it unless he put a security camera by the little theatre and that would be unfair because it would be showing favoritism for that specific classroom. She continued insisting.

A week after the rally, Katherine was in her father’s office showing him that week’s paper, reading to him the specific part that reminded everyone about the vandalism. He rolled his eyes at her but nonetheless told her he was proud of her like he did every Friday morning before class. She was displeased with his dismissal of the issue, and even more displeased with herself because she was used to it. She left the office defeated, but smiled when she looked up.

Sarah had walked into the main office and looked surprised to see Katherine. However, it wasn’t a happy surprise. Sarah looked defeated as well. Something in Katherine’s brain alerted her that something was wrong. She walked up to the girl and asked, “Are you okay?”

Sarah tried to feign a smile. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. I just have to talk to your dad about something.”

“What is it? I could help you out. As his daughter, I’ve got leverage,” Katherine tried to joke. Sarah didn’t seem like she was in the mood.

“No, I’d prefer to do it alone.”

“Alright, well, I’m here if you need help.” She gave Sarah a kind smile and a small pat on the arm. She felt like she owed a lot to Sarah, though not for anything specific that she did. Just for the fact that she was there when no one else was. She didn’t know why she’d let the girl in. Maybe because she was a girl. After Jack, she hadn’t been able to trust any guy. Except Crutchie but he’d always been Team Jack.

Now, she had a friend and she was able to at least trust the guys that were on the paper with her. Well, mostly David. And that was just because he was Sarah’s brother. She’d only ever thought of Sarah as her friend, but now she was starting to think that she might just be her best friend, something Katherine had never really had just because of her extremely competitive nature. Having a best friend made her feel normal and that was a nice thing to have.

“Kath,” Sarah said as Katherine walked toward the exit. Katherine turned back at her curiously. “Don’t hate me.” Katherine could tell by the way she was looking at her, that Sarah wasn’t joking. Katherine’s danger alarm went off again, but she wasn’t able to inquire further. Sarah went into her father’s office.

Katherine was tempted to stand at the door and eavesdrop, but at that moment, Miss Hannah walked in. As much as she had a rapport with the secretary, she didn’t think the woman would let her stay to listen in. Instead, she went to get ready for her first class.

She knew Specs had his first period working in the office so she texted him, asking to keep her updated if anything happened. During class, she got a few texts from him. He told her the cops were called, but a few minutes later, Sarah’s parents arrived, demanding to have a talk with the principal. By the end of the period, Katherine knew for sure what the issue was.

She couldn’t believe it. It didn’t make sense. Sarah would have been the last person she suspected. She was in the LGBTQ+ Club so why would she vandalize it? Her twin brother was in a relationship with a boy. It just didn’t make sense. There had to be some other explanation. She had to get to the bottom of it.

As she headed to her next class, she caught a glimpse of Sarah and her parents leaving campus. The cops weren’t escorting her out so she hoped this was all some kind of misunderstanding.

Unfortunately, by lunch, it seemed that everyone knew what had happened. Sarah Jacobs had been the one to tag the little theatre door. And by the end of the day, she wasn’t the only one who had shown up at the Jacobs’ house. Jack was there with his bike, and Spot Conlon got there a minute later. David came out to tell them that Sarah wasn’t seeing anyone at the moment, but he looked angry. Katherine still didn’t know what to believe.

She opted to text Sarah instead. “I don’t hate you. I just want an explanation.” She got in her car and waited for a response. Katherine was lost. She had never in a million years expected this. Even if Sarah had done it, what had driven her to confess? Had it been her constant reminders in the articles she’d written? Just that morning she’d thought of Sarah as her best friend, but maybe she’d jumped the gun. Maybe she didn’t know as much about Sarah as she thought she did. Maybe Sarah was disturbed and there was a side of her no one had seen. She needed to talk to her. Katherine wouldn’t be able to relax until she did.

A few minutes of waiting and she got a text back. It said, “Sorry Katherine, Sarah’s phone has been confiscated. You can talk with her in a couple of weeks when she goes back to school. Mrs. Jacobs.” Katherine cursed herself but she knew there was nothing she could do now except wait.

For the next few days at school, she heard many rumors about Sarah and why she’d tagged the door. But she couldn’t believe any of them. Katherine decided she was going to give Sarah the benefit of the doubt. She knew there was more to the story. And even if it took the rest of the year, she was going to get to the bottom of it and she was going to make sure she cleared Sarah’s name.

A thought went through her mind. Before meeting Sarah, she would have started the process of getting over her new best friend. But she had just gotten over a boy thanks to her. She wasn’t going to let herself get over Sarah. She was too important. It was what Sarah would do for her.

David kept telling himself he was happy. Other than the graffiti, everything was good. Jack was his boyfriend; Crutchie was still his friend; hell, he had friends and quite a few of them. When he’d started at the school, he never would have thought that any of it was possible. He still didn’t.

There was always something in the back of David’s head that told him something was waiting for him around the corner. That if he let his guard down even a little, he would regret it. Because every time something good happened, it meant something equally bad was about to occur.

He couldn’t let himself be happy, even though he tried to fake it as much as he could. Every time Jack came up behind him and hugged him or gave him a kiss, he put on a smile. It wasn’t necessarily fake. He liked Jack. He enjoyed his hugs and kisses. He just didn’t expect them to last long. He was stressing himself out until whatever bad thing was going to happen happened.

David replayed conversations he’d had with people over in his head. Especially the conversations he’d had with Crutchie and Katherine. He couldn’t stop thinking about how Crutchie said that Jack eventually ruins relationships. And then he had to think about how Katherine had told him that Jack moves on quickly. Would that happen to him? Would Jack ruin the relationship? Would he go running towards the next cute boy or girl that he met?

He didn’t want to think like that. He trusted Jack. He’d proven that with all the exercises he’d done with him for the club. Crutchie seemed to notice there was something off and he told him to relax, but how was David supposed to listen to his current words while trying to not think of his past words? He felt like a disaster.

He could feel himself trying to distance himself from people again. It was his best defensive move. But he knew he shouldn’t. He knew that the last time he’d done that, it was cowardly. He knew if he’d kept everyone at bay, he wouldn’t be where he was now.

He had only been Jack’s boyfriend for a week before the news broke. He’d been in class when he’d seen people whispering and staring at him, but quickly looking away. He didn’t know what was happening until lunchtime when he met up with Jack and Crutchie. They explained it to him and he couldn’t believe it. It wasn’t possible.

Sarah had always been his best friend. Despite being fraternal, they always liked to pretend they were identical, until it wasn’t fun for her anymore because she knew she was different. This only brought them closer together. They were each other’s confidants. He was the first one she told that she was a she. She was the first one he told that he liked a boy in their class.

He thought it would always be like that. But once their parents knew, some things changed. The first time David ever felt lonely was when Sarah went to her new school in the city. It was when he realized he had no friends of his own. Everyone they were friends with were actually Sarah’s friends. She was the brave one. She was the leader. He was just a follower.

When Sarah was back at his school, he was relieved. He could have some kind of social life again. Except, this time Sarah was a pariah. She made a few new friends but David could tell she wasn’t happy. And if she wasn’t happy, neither was he. He tried to make her as comfortable as possible but he didn’t know how.

Then they moved and she seemed excited. He was happy for her despite hating the situation. Because if they had to move, at least it would benefit her. At least someone would be happy. And now they were both happy. Or so he thought.

He couldn’t figure it out. Sarah was rebellious but she never acted out in a bad way. And he knew that she’d been called that F word before, so it didn’t make sense to him that it was Sarah that had done it. He called her on the phone but their mom picked up. “What’s going on?”

Mrs. Jacobs told him the basics of what had happened. Sarah had confessed to the vandalism and they had spoken to the principal and convinced him not to press charges and only suspend her for a couple of weeks. David asked his mom if she could take him out of school early for that day. He told her people were staring at him and talking. She sighed but agreed.

At home, his parents asked him to see if he could talk to Sarah. She was in her room and they had tried talking to her but she wasn’t cooperating. They looked angry, but more than that, they looked concerned for their daughter. David knew exactly how they felt because he felt it too.

“Sarah?” he asked, tapping lightly at her door. There was no answer. He tried again. “I just want to talk. I want to understand. We’re all worried. We still love you.”

At that, he heard some stirring inside and the door opened. He heard Sarah walking back to her bed and he took the opportunity to walk inside. He closed the door, knowing she probably wouldn’t want their parents to hear their conversation.

“Sarah?” he said, staring at her. She looked just as angry as everyone else, but there was a bit of sadness in her eyes. Like she wanted to scream or cry. She was keeping something in. “Did you hear what I said?”

“Of course you still love me,” she answered. “I didn’t think you’d stop loving me just because I did something stupid.”

David felt like she was brushing it off as if it were nothing. “Something stupid like confessing to something you didn’t do? You didn’t do it, right?”

“Why else would I confess, David?”

“I don’t know. You wanted the search to be over. Or someone put you up to it?”

“No one put me up to it. I confessed because I did it and I felt bad.”

She wasn’t looking him in the eye, which told him she was lying. As if she knew what he was thinking, she turned to him directly.

“I wrote the word. I went to school on the weekend and I spray painted it.”

But it didn’t make sense to David. If no one put her up to it, then she must have been taking the blame for someone else. Someone she had strong feelings for. “It was Spot Conlon, wasn’t it? He did it. And you’re taking the blame for him because...because you love him.”

She glared at him but then laughed at him as if he were stupid. “You’ve never liked Spot. Of course you’d suspect him. But you don’t even know him. He probably would have taken the blame for me if he’d known I’d done it. But it was all me, Dave. By myself with no help.”

He still didn’t believe her. “Why, then? Why’d you do it?”

She looked down, angry again. “You wouldn’t get it. You...Your life is perfect.”

“What? Since when? I’m far from perfect. I’m not even...normal.”

“Normal.” She laughed at that. “You think that just ‘cause you happen to like boys that you’re not normal? Try living in a body that you hate. Try living inside a mind that you hate. Try living the most perfect life you could think of while knowing that no matter how hard you try, you’ll never truly achieve perfection.”

“Sarah, nobody’s perfect.”

“And don’t I know it. My boyfriend is the captain of the school’s most popular sports team. Boys want to have me. Girls want to be me. But they don’t know. And if they knew…”

“If they knew, they’d accept it. Or if they didn’t, then to hell with them. We don’t need them. We just need each other. That’s all we needed when we were kids. That’s all I ever needed.”

Sarah shook her head. “You’ve just been too scared to try new things. Make new friends. But look at you now. Not just one best friend, but two. One of who is your boyfriend. You don’t need me. No one needs me.”

“Sarah, you’re scaring me.”

“Good.” She got up and went to her desk. She opened the middle drawer and took out a can of spray paint, bouncing it in her hand for a few seconds. “I felt like shit. I can’t be open like everyone else in that damn club. I just can’t, David. I felt like shit and I wanted everyone to feel that way too. I wanted them to feel what I felt. It was impulsive. It was stupid. And I regretted it as soon as Monday morning came along.”

She threw the can at David and he caught it. Was he holding evidence? He didn’t feel well. His stomach ached. He hadn’t believed she could have done it, but her words were convincing him.

“I knew I had to do something so that I didn’t get in trouble. I hid a couple of spray cans in the most obvious place.”

“Sarah, stop.” He didn’t want to hear it.

“The locker of an art student.”

“Stop it, I mean it.”

“I’d seen him open his locker a few times. I knew the combination.”

“Please…”

“I put the spray cans in Jack’s locker. I figured he’d get away with it because he was an art student. And I was right, wasn’t I?”

“Sarah, you’re...a bitch. You’re a fucking bitch.”

They both stared at each other for a few seconds. Both of them had watery eyes. And they both looked surprised at David’s words. He’d never called her that. At least not in the serious way he just had.

“You’re right,” she said.

“He could have been suspended.”

“I know.”

“He could have been expelled.”

She nodded, slow tears falling down her face.

“Katherine’s father is the principal. He could have been hard on Jack just because he’d broken Katherine’s heart. It could have been bad. Really bad. And all you have to say for yourself is that you were right? You...ugh!”

“I’m sorry…”

“I don’t care. I thought...I thought it was all a misunderstanding. I thought maybe you hadn’t graffitied the little theatre. Even hearing you admit why you did it, I thought that maybe I could forgive you. That getting suspended was punishment enough. I…”

Sarah looked at him like a sad little puppy. But David saw right through it. It was like all the stress he’d been putting on himself was now lifting off of him. Because now he had someone to take it out on. Now he had someone to blame. Now, he didn’t have to worry about anything bad happening, because the worst thing that could happen had happened.

“I still love you, Sarah. But I don’t like you. I really don’t like you. I don’t know you. I don’t know who you are or how you became like this. I can’t...I can’t be friends with you. I can’t be around you. I’m done.”

He dropped the spray can on the floor and marched out of the room without looking back, heading straight for his own room. He was pissed, but he was relieved. He felt the worst was over. But deep down, he knew that if he couldn’t trust Sarah, he didn’t know who he could trust.

David put his earphones in and listened to music, trying to drown out the sound of Sarah crying in her room. He couldn’t feel sorry for her. She made her bed.

The next club meeting was awkward to say the least. No one knew what to say. When Miss Medda tried to suggest a trust exercise, Jack told her it was probably best to just go into the meeting right away. At that, she asked to see him in the costume room and told the rest of the members to talk amongst themselves.

Crutchie was sitting next to David, though they were both silent. David looked angrier than he’d ever looked before and something told Crutchie it wouldn’t be wise to ask him what was wrong. He figured it had to do with his sister. It was funny, after finding out it was her, Crutchie wasn’t as upset. She’d confessed so he figured she at least felt bad. It was a shitty thing to do but it happened and now there was nothing left to do but move on.

Romeo apparently saw that he and David were in need of some company so he went over to them, sitting down directly on Crutchie’s desk.

“What’s up, Romeo?”

“Nothing. Just getting a good view.” He looked Crutchie up and down and winked at him.

Crutchie didn’t know what to think except that Romeo wanted something. “Don’t you and Specs have a thing going on?”

“Is he watching?” Crutchie looked behind Romeo and saw that Specs was watching them discreetly. He nodded. “Good. I hope he’s getting jealous.”

“What’s going on, Romeo?”

The younger boy sighed, but then ran his hand down Crutchie’s arm. “So, I really like Specs and I know he likes me. And I just want him to ask me to be his boyfriend. I mean, after Jack and Davey did it all romantically in public like that, I...I want that. I just want him to ask me. But he says it’s a bad idea.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m a freshman and he’s a junior. Like that’s stopped him from putting his tongue down my throat.” He giggled with slight exaggeration, though Crutchie knew that was for Specs’ benefit. “And also he says I flirt with everyone too much. But I can’t help that I’m just very charismatic. He’s told me I’m not the only one he’s seeing, but I don’t believe him. I think he’s just trying to make excuses. So now I’m flirting with you to make him jealous.”

“But you don’t want me.”

“Crutchie, you’re cute. And I would in a heartbeat. But...right now my heart belongs to Specs, whether he wants it or not. I just wish he would take it. Asshole.”

“Maybe he’s just scared that you’ll find someone better. Or that you’ll break up when he graduates.”

“Who cares? I want him right now and that’s all that should matter. I’m not asking for marriage. Just a boyfriend. Someone to be with for now.”

Just then, Medda and Jack returned. “I’m sure you’ll work it out, Romeo.”

“I’ll just tell him he can’t kiss me anymore until I get what I want,” Romeo said as he jumped off the desk. “Thanks, Crutchie.” He gave the boy a kiss on the cheek and then went back to his desk.

Miss Medda announced that for that day there would be no trust exercise since they had limited time, but they would keep doing them in future meetings.

Crutchie couldn’t pay attention to the meeting. He was too busy thinking about what Romeo had said. Crutchie loved Jack, but he knew it could never happen if he didn’t want to lose him. He’d been thinking about that a lot ever since Jack and David became an official couple. Whether the two lasted, Crutchie had to find a way to get over Jack. Even if it was only temporarily.

He looked over at Jojo, wondering what it would be like if he gave him a chance. He knew they’d make the cutest couple. At least everyone would think so. Would he be happy? Probably not. But he’d have someone and that was better than not having anyone. It was certainly better than being the third wheel. Jojo wasn’t ugly, and his parties were awesome which probably meant he was somewhat fun. And it wouldn’t have to be forever. They’d probably go their separate ways for college. Or maybe he’d end up falling for him, which would benefit both of them. Crutchie spent the rest of the meeting trying to justify what he would do next.

“Hey, Jojo.”

Jojo turned to see Crutchie hobbling behind him. “Oh, hey, what’s up?” He let Crutchie catch up and they continued walking.

“I was wondering if you’d like to...go out with me?”

Jojo’s eyebrow furrowed as he looked at Crutchie. “You mean, like as friends?”

“Or like...on a date.”

Jojo stopped, wondering if Crutchie had lost some kind of bet to Race. “I thought you didn’t like me.”

“I changed my mind.”

“Why?” It wasn’t like Jojo hadn’t daydreamed about it happening. It was just that he’d spent the last few months settling on the fact that it never would. He’d been drilling into his brain that Crutchie didn’t like him as more than a friend and that he would never even see him that way, so it was best to move on. But now Crutchie was proving that not to be the case.

Crutchie shrugged. “I just did. I like you, Jojo. So...date?”

Jojo was still suspicious, but he wanted to give the other boy the benefit of the doubt. It wouldn’t hurt to go on one date with him. Maybe he’d find that Crutchie really did like him and they’d get together. He knew they’d be a really cute couple. “How’s Friday night? At The Bowery?”

“Sounds great to me. I’ll meet you there.”

Friday night came and Jojo was nervous. He’d realized that this was actually happening. He had a date with Crutchie Morris, which is something he had hoped for practically since he’d met him. Well, since he’d learned that Crutchie and Jack weren’t a couple and Crutchie was single.

As he Ubered to the bar, Jojo thought back to when he’d first met Crutchie and Jack. Everyone had thought they were a couple until Race hooked up with Jack. Crutchie had showed slight interest in Jojo then, but backed off as soon as Jack and Race were over. Then, when Jack was with Katherine, Crutchie had been friendlier to him again, even going as far as to plan one of his house parties together. And now...Now, Jack was with David and things were starting to make sense to Jojo.

At the bar, Crutchie was already there, ready with a drink for himself and Jojo. “Hey there, handsome,” he said, giving Jojo a kiss on the cheek.

“Hey…” Jojo wanted to say something. To yell at him and make a scene in front of everyone. But he knew that wouldn’t solve anything and it would get him kicked out. He decided the best option would be to play Crutchie’s game. This was a date, so he might as well enjoy it.

They talked as they had their drinks. They tried to find if they had anything in common. Jojo was into Parks and Rec, while Crutchie was more of an Office man. Jojo had a passion for tabletop games, but Crutchie liked video games better. They both knew they needed to stop when Jojo admitted he liked Phantom Menace and Crutchie said his favorite Batman movie was Batman & Robin.

Jojo suggested some dancing, which they did. They had a bit of a laugh as they watched each other be dorks. Jojo had never really seen Crutchie dance, and despite the disability, he turned it out as best as he could and with great balance. They were starting to have some fun, or maybe it was the drinks talking. They proceeded to have a few more.

During one song, Crutchie started twerking on Jojo. It was funny to him at first, but after a while, Crutchie was committing to the bit and really pushing his ass against Jojo’s crotch. Jojo nervously laughed harder, knowing that if Crutchie didn’t stop, he would get hard. He wasn’t ready for that kind of humiliation, but he didn’t want to ruin the fun they were having.

Then something in the back of Jojo’s head asked him if they were really having fun. He’d almost forgotten about his epiphany. He’d almost forgotten that this wasn’t real. That Crutchie was just playing with him because Jack was involved with someone else. He’d almost forgotten he was supposed to be playing along.

“Hey, Crutchie! Do you uh...wanna take this back to my place?”

Crutchie turned around, using his crutch for balance and smiled. He took Jojo’s hand and led him outside. They waited for an Uber and as soon as they were in the back of the car, Crutchie kissed him. It was a bit sloppy, but he was eager. Jojo didn’t have time to react, but he just went with it, even pulling Crutchie closer to him.

They got to Jojo’s house and immediately Crutchie began pulling Jojo’s shirt off. “Bedroom, now,” he commanded.

“Bedroom’s upstairs,” Jojo replied and he could see Crutchie mentally debating whether he needed to be climbing stairs. “How about the living room? I can get us a blanket.”

Crutchie nodded. “Bring a condom too. A few of them.”

#newsies #newsies high #newsies fanfic #javid #newsbians #sprace #jackcrutchie #holdenmgrudges #fanfiction #au fanfiction #jack kelly #david jacobs #sarah jacobs #katherine plumber #crutchie morris #spot conlon #racetrack higgins #jojo de la guerra

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all-hail-the-witcher · 4 years

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people i ghosted on tumblr for a wholeass year before i made my account

cause i just found a doc of screenshots so (most of these people probably dont exist anymore im sorry)

@mushmeyers

@diary-of-a-chorus-girl

@amodestnewsie

@r4cetr4ackhiggs

@daveyjacobss

@holdenmgrudges

@brooklyns-here-for-ya-erster

@black-flower-crowns

@enby-crutchie

@safarikalamari

@spot--conlon

@poorguysheadisdoingwhatnow

@thatisnotnicemorris

@illtake20newspapersplease

@textitininkorinblood

@brooklynbadbois

i also have Many ao3 screenshots

and there's more accounts but those are all the ones i have in this doc

(if youre on the list i have a screenshot of one of your posts from like 2 years ago)

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ao3feed--sheith · 5 years

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The Rise of Voltron

read it on the AO3 at http://bit.ly/2EyeTFP

by HoldenMGrudges

Shiro and Keith are best friends just trying to make it in the music industry. When Lance puts up a flyer trying to start a boy band, Shiro pushes Keith to try out. Pidge tries out at well, pretending to be a boy, questioning her own identity. Hunk just wants to make new friends. Thus the new band Voltron is formed. Allura, with her assistant Coran, sees the band perform and immediately offers to be the band's manager. Will the band make it big? Find out in this alternate universe loosely parallel to Season 1 of Voltron: Legendary Defender.

Words: 916, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Series: Part 1 of Voltron: Legendary Band

Fandoms: Voltron: Legendary Defender

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Keith (Voltron), Shiro (Voltron), Lance (Voltron), Pidge | Katie Holt, Hunk (Voltron), Allura (Voltron), Coran (Voltron)

Relationships: Keith/Shiro (Voltron), Keith & Shiro (Voltron), Allura & Coran & Hunk & Keith & Lance & Pidge | Katie Holt & Shiro

Additional Tags: Gay, Questioning, Gay Shiro (Voltron), Alternate Universe

read it on the AO3 at http://bit.ly/2EyeTFP

#IFTTT #ao3feed #fanfic

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ao3feed-keithshiro · 5 years

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The Rise of Voltron

read it on the AO3 at http://bit.ly/2EyeTFP

by HoldenMGrudges

Words: 916, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Series: Part 1 of Voltron: Legendary Band

Fandoms: Voltron: Legendary Defender

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Keith (Voltron), Shiro (Voltron), Lance (Voltron), Pidge | Katie Holt, Hunk (Voltron), Allura (Voltron), Coran (Voltron)

Relationships: Keith/Shiro (Voltron), Keith & Shiro (Voltron), Allura & Coran & Hunk & Keith & Lance & Pidge | Katie Holt & Shiro

Additional Tags: Gay, Questioning, Gay Shiro (Voltron), Alternate Universe

read it on the AO3 at http://bit.ly/2EyeTFP

#Voltron #Sheith #Shiro/Keith #IFTTT #ao3feed #fanfic

0 notes

ao3feed-voltronlegendarydefender · 5 years

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The Rise of Voltron

read it on the AO3 at The Rise of Voltron

by HoldenMGrudges

Words: 897, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Series: Part 1 of Voltron: Legendary Band

Fandoms: Voltron: Legendary Defender

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Keith (Voltron), Shiro (Voltron), Lance (Voltron), Pidge | Katie Holt, Hunk (Voltron), Allura (Voltron), Coran (Voltron)

Relationships: Keith/Shiro (Voltron), Keith & Shiro (Voltron), Allura & Coran & Hunk & Keith & Lance & Pidge | Katie Holt & Shiro

Additional Tags: Gay, Questioning, Gay Shiro (Voltron), Alternate Universe

read it on the AO3 at The Rise of Voltron

#ao3feed #fanfic #voltron #voltron: legendary defender #ao3feed-voltronlegendarydefender

0 notes

holdenmgrudges · 6 years

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Chapter 13 - Oversies

Happy 4th of July! Or if you’re not from the United States, happy Wednesday! In this chapter, Sarah goes around the school trying to find out how to get over someone. Enjoy.

Or read on AO3 if you prefer.

How To Get Over Someone

The title was the easiest thing. The hardest part was how to write it. Sarah hadn’t meant for it to be an article at first. In fact, she read some articles online written about the subject before she decided to ask someone in real life.

It seems like nowadays everyone is trying to get over someone. Be it a boyfriend, girlfriend, best friend, crush, family member, etc. it’s not an easy feat but it’s possible over time.

The first person she talked to was David. She walked into his room where he was studying at his desk. She lay on the bed and wondered aloud, “How do you get over someone?”

David turned in his chair and stared, not knowing if she was being serious. “If I knew, I probably wouldn’t have started dating Jack.”

“Right,” she replied, frowning a bit.

“Did something happen with you and Spot Conlon? I knew that guy was bad news…”

“Calm down. This isn’t about him. It’s about…” It was about her really. She couldn’t stop thinking about her incident with Katherine. They hadn’t continued their self defense training because Sarah had told her she was busy with schoolwork. She’d been trying to keep her distance, but Katherine had really started to warm up to her. “It’s about your friend Crutchie.”

David had been trying to keep Crutchie from being a third wheel by including him in whatever activities he was doing with Jack. It was almost as if he was putting a pause on dating Jack just to make Crutchie comfortable. He had invited them both for dinner and everything went well. Except apparently now there was something going on with Crutchie. “Oh. Did he...did he tell you about...him and Jack?”

“What about him and Jack?” She was confused by the question, having been talking about Jojo’s crush on Crutchie. She never stopped to think that… “Wait, Crutchie has a thing for Jack?”

“You didn��t know.”

“No, I didn’t…”

He felt stupid for even bringing it up. He knew it was a secret and now he’d told his sister. “Don’t tell him I told you. And don’t tell anyone. I like him. He’s a good guy.”

“Is that why you were acting so weird at dinner? Does Jack know? How long have you known?”

“Great, so I was acting weird. Do you think they noticed? Ugh. Sarah...I don’t know how to deal with this.”

“Talk to me.”

He told her what had happened at the party in the closet with Crutchie and the conversation they’d had during lunch. And then he told her about his worries. “I don’t know if Jack knows or how he feels about Crutchie. They’re always so...close. There were times when I’ve thought they were secretly a couple, but now I know that’s not true. I just...What if Jack feels the same about Crutchie but nothing’s happened because they won’t talk about it? What if I’m in the way of this epic romance that’s supposed to happen between them?”

“Okay, Dave, stop. Jack is dating you. If he wanted to date Crutchie, he would. He’s not exactly subtle. He could have anyone he wanted and he clearly wants you.” Sarah had to make this clear to David even though she wasn’t a hundred percent sure of her words. She just needed him to stop worrying long enough to clarify things with Jack.

“What if Jack and Crutchie start dating and I’m the third wheel? I mean, imagine how he feels watching someone he loves be with someone else he considers a friend? How would he get over Jack? How would I get over Jack?”

Sarah had no real response other than trying to get him to see that that wouldn’t happen. As much as she tried, she was only able to calm him down enough to get back to studying.

There seem to be people who think it’s something that can be over and done with quickly. If you’re on the rebound, there’s no possible time to feel bad about the loss, right? But getting over someone by replacing them doesn’t work. How can you equate one relationship with a person and another relationship with a different person? No matter who it is with, each individual relationship is different. You can’t replace one person with another as if it was a job position to be filled.

The next person she asked was Spot. He was caught off guard by the question. They were sitting together at lunch without the rest of the posse again. “How do you get over someone?” she repeated.

“Like...dying?” He was trying to be funny, but Sarah shook her head. “Romantically?” She nodded.

It was a good question. Spot couldn’t help but think about Race and how he’d been trying to get over him. Unfortunately, Race just wasn’t someone he’d been able to shake.

Earlier in the week, they’d met up at the library so that Spot could break things off, but things didn’t go according to plan.

“This is a weird place to make out, but I’m down,” Race said. “We might have to be extra quiet though.”

Spot looked around to make sure no one was around. It was like second nature to him now. “Race, I’m not here to make out with you. I’m here to…” His face said it all. “We can’t do this anymore.”

“You’re here to end this?”

“Yeah. I just...I have a girlfriend now. And I can’t be with her and...be kissing you. You know?”

“Then stop seeing her and kiss me instead.”

“No, Race, you’re not getting it. I like Sarah. She doesn’t deserve this.”

“You lying to her? No, she doesn’t deserve it. But you don’t either.” Race got close and Spot had to lightly push him back. “Spot. You say you like Sarah and you obviously like me. But I don’t see you sneaking around with her to make out in hidden locations.”

“That’s cause we’re not hidden. I’ve kissed her in non-hidden locations.”

“Yeah, and that’s all you do. A peck here and there. I’ve seen you two and I’ve seen more chemistry between Jojo and sangria. You don’t make out with her like you do with me. You don’t touch her…” He took Spot’s hand and placed it on his ass. “...Like you touch me.”

Spot snapped his hand back. “Regardless. She’s my girlfriend and you’re just…”

“What? A side piece?” Spot opened his mouth to retort, but Race didn’t even look bothered. “Call me a biscuit, I don’t care. I’ll be a side piece. As long as you’re the one eating.”

Spot didn’t know how he felt about that. Well, other than feeling aroused. And Race knew it too.

“Have you ever gotten a blowjob, Spot Conlon?”

Spot couldn’t respond to that. It was like his body was taking over his mind.

“C’mon. Let me show you something you can’t get from Sarah.” Race pulled Spot by the hand and soon they were in the library bathroom, doing something they shouldn’t have been doing in a library bathroom.

Spot shrugged his shoulders and his recollections away. He turned to Sarah to reply, “I’ve never had a girlfriend before so I don’t know what getting over one is like.”

“What about like...a best friend?”

“Getting over a best friend?” He thought about how he and Jack used to be really close. “You just...get on with your life. Pretend they don’t exist.”

“That doesn’t sound like a way to get over someone,” she said. “Sounds more like denial than anything.”

“Well, if you ever broke up with me, I think I’d want to deny it as much as possible,” Spot joked.

Sarah smirked at him. She still didn’t have an answer to her question.

Then there are those who prefer to pretend the relationship never happened. Like the person never existed. If it never happened, then there’s no reason to feel bad. This also fails to work because all you’re doing is repressing feelings that are going to come out anyway. In order to get over someone, you have to think about all those feelings. Getting over someone isn’t a fast process. The longer and closer someone is with you, the longer it takes to let go of them.

Sarah spent her next few lunches going around the school and doing sort of a lunch survey on the subject. She talked to Romeo who she thought could give her some insight since every time she saw him, he was flirting with someone new. Unfortunately, he had no clue seeing as how he never got attached to anyone. Specs, who was next to him, seemed to get offended at that statement so Sarah asked him. He told her the best way to get over someone was to get under someone else. Romeo challenged him with a, “Yeah, you do that,” and then they both started arguing. Sarah left it at that and moved on.

She talked to Tommy Boy and Hot Shot while Spot was in the bathroom one lunch. Hot Shot said he got over people by focusing all his energy on sports, while Tommy Boy told her he focused on eating and building muscle. She declined the beef jerky they offered her.

The whole time, she had been taking notes, so one lunch she decided to go to the computer lab to write everything down and see if she could organize it into something coherent. Bill and Darcy were there editing an article for the paper, trying to beat Katherine’s deadline.

“Hey, have you two ever had girlfriends?” she asked as she sat down next to them. They looked at each other and then shook their heads. “Boyfriends?” Bill snorted and shook his head, while Darcy just scowled. “Nevermind then.”

“Why’d you ask?” Bill pondered curiously.

“I’ve been asking around, how do you get over someone?”

“Oh.” Bill thought for a second before answering. “Well, I may not have experience with a girlfriend, but I’ve had plenty of crushes I’ve had to get over before.”

“And how did you get over them?”

“Time,” he answered with a shrug. “That’s the best way I can put it. Like, me and Darcy both used to have big crushes on Katherine.” A groan was heard coming from Darcy. “But we both learned to respect her and now...I mean, I wouldn’t say no if she asked me out, but I can say I’m glad I can be her friend.”

“Or as close to friends as we can be,” Darcy spoke.

“Are you still not over her?” Sarah asked. Bill’s was honestly the best response she’d gotten so far, especially since it was regarding Katherine. But she was curious about Darcy’s point of view. If Bill was the positive end of things, maybe Darcy was the more negative.

“No, I’m over her. And I respect her too. I just don’t think she and I have that much in common. My so called crush on her was mostly based on looks. Let’s just say I mostly know her through her writing, and it doesn’t give me much insight seeing as how she tries to stay unbiased. I try to forget I had a crush on her because it doesn’t make sense to me. I remember it, but I don’t remember the feelings.”

“Right,” Sarah replied. She went on to organize her notes, all the while thinking about what Darcy had said. Katherine was beautiful, so was it a purely physical attraction that she had to her? Was it even an attraction? Maybe it had just been a fluke and she was just worrying about nothing. Maybe she would be like Darcy one day and wonder why she ever felt that way.

A lot of times there’s a case of arrested development. I’m talking about the people who spend too much time thinking about the lost relationship. Maybe they imagine what could have been done differently, or what if they were still together. And then they refuse to let anyone new into their life. That doesn’t work either because it’s the exact opposite of moving on.

Later that day, she decided to stop thinking about the whole ordeal and instead deal with someone else’s drama for a change. “Can I ask you something serious?” There was nothing interesting going on in chemistry class, so Sarah figured it was the perfect time to have a conversation with Jack.

He looked a little wary, but he nodded.

“I’m just gonna come right out and say it...You and Crutchie...Is there something there?”

Jack looked taken aback, but then laughed it off. “Sarah, I’m dating your brother.”

“I know, but...It’s just that you and Crutchie are so close. I was just wondering if that’s like a brotherly thing or if there’s ever been more.”

“It’s a brotherly thing.” That was the easiest answer at least.

“So...there’s nothing there at all? You’ve never been into him in a more than a friendship kind of way?”

He sighed, looking down at the worksheet he was supposed to be completing. He could choose to leave it at that. Or he could tell her part of the truth.

“Sorry, I won’t push it.” Sarah looked down at her own work, hoping she didn’t cross a line with her questioning.

“I won’t say I’ve never thought about it.” He thought it wouldn’t hurt to be honest. He figured Davey was the reason she was asking and if he could make Davey feel more comfortable, it would benefit everyone. “Crutchie’s been my best friend for a while now and...Well, he’s been my best friend far too long for anything to happen between us. And he’s already been through so much. I’m sure he can barely deal with me as a friend...Anything more would just be too much for him. It wouldn’t end well.”

“But you’re not too much for David?”

“Davey’s different. He can handle me.” Or at least the parts of him that Crutchie couldn’t handle. “And Davey’s just…” He smiled, thinking about him. “I really like him, Sarah. He’s so smart and handsome and...I can see a future with him.”

Sarah seemed satisfied with that answer, but there was a part of Jack that was still stuck on Crutchie. It wasn’t that Crutchie couldn’t handle him, really. It was that Jack couldn’t be completely honest with him. Because if he was, he would lose Crutchie forever. And if there was anything Jack wouldn’t be able to handle, it was losing Crutchie. Race and Katherine never amounted to what he had with Crutchie, and he wondered if Davey ever would. Only one other person had ever come close, but he’d let that ship sink long ago.

Sarah went home that night and worked more on the notes. She was halfway through when she realized what she was doing was writing an article. This revelation made her more excited and she had a spark of inspiration. She finished it, gave it a quick edit, and then took a chance. She emailed it to Katherine before getting ready for bed. Hopefully in the morning, she’d receive good news.

But there are steps you can take to head in the right direction. The most important is being open to meeting new people. Again, not as a replacement, but as a new point of view, a new experience, a new hope. Maybe you’ll discover something in this new relationship that you were lacking in the last one. Or perhaps, you’ll find this new person has something you really enjoyed in the last one. Meeting new people isn’t everything, though. Just because you had one loss, doesn’t mean everyone around you is also a loss. Confiding in friends you already have also helps.

Sarah woke up the next day with not texts and no email back. She was worried all the way to school, and even asked David to check in with Katherine during their English class. All she got was a text from David saying, “She wants to talk to you during lunch.” And that just made Sarah even more nervous.

At lunch, she cautiously approached the computer lab. Katherine waved her over as soon as she saw her and Sarah wondered if she should have been relieved. She sat next to her and Katherine turned her chair to make direct eye contact. She took Sarah’s hands, making Sarah even more nervous.

“Thank you.”

Sarah didn’t know what that meant. But she couldn’t help but keep staring into Katherine’s beautiful brown eyes. She could bury herself in them if she let herself. “You’re welcome?”

Katherine took her hands back and turned to her computer. Sarah saw she had her article pulled up, except it was on the school paper template. “I know you wrote this for me in hopes that I’d get over Jack. And trust me, I’m working on it. This is really insightful. It helps. And I think it can help other people...Denton already cleared it so...I’m putting it on this week’s paper if you don’t mind.”

“I…” It was the last thing that she expected. She’d only sent it to Katherine because she had wanted Katherine’s approval. She hadn’t even been thinking about Katherine’s feelings for Jack. And she certainly hadn’t been thinking about actually submitting the article for the paper. It was just that once she realized she was writing an article, she associated articles with Katherine, and it was a no-brainer to send it to her. Everything after that was just what Sarah considered lucky. “I don’t mind at all.”

Which brings about the next step: being open to releasing your feelings. If you’re not willing to talk to someone about it, maybe there’s a different way to go about it. That’s what art is for. You could draw out your pain with a drawing, or in the form of music or dance. Even sports is a great way to relieve stress.

On Friday morning, Sarah felt lucky again when she found Jojo before school. She’d decided to help Bill and Darcy disperse the paper, so she had a stack in her hands. “Jojo!” she called and the boy turned on the bench he was sitting at to look for his caller.

“Hey Sarah, what’s up?”

“I know you probably thought I was joking, but as a reporter, I thought it my duty to try and answer your question.”

Jojo had been trying to forget anything about Crutchie, so he didn’t remember what she was talking about. Then she handed him one of the school papers and pointed at a specific article. “Oh, wow.”

“Yeah, I hope it helps.”

“Thanks, Sarah. This means a lot.”

“No problem! Just keep giving me good ideas for articles,” she replied with a giggle, before setting off to finish distributing the papers.

Jojo was left alone to read the article. It had varying thoughts, but the main takeaway of the article for him was that getting over someone took time. It was a bit cliche but Jojo appreciated it. He decided to focus on that concept rather than just trying to avoid thoughts of Crutchie. If he constantly thought that he’d eventually get over Crutchie, it was bound to happen.

At lunch, he met up with Race and he handed him the paper, having highlighted the article for him. Race sped through it and Jojo saw his friend’s face go from a curious smile, to a frown, to a leer. He practically slammed the paper against Jojo’s chest as he shook his head.

“That was stupid.”

“Race...you...you didn’t think it made a lot of sense?”

“No, it put too much emphasis on what not to do.”

“Well, yeah but towards the end it gave suggestions.”

Race blew a raspberry at Jojo and gave him a thumbs down.

“This isn’t because it’s written by Sarah, is it?”

“I don’t even really know the girl, I have no grudge against her.”

“But she’s Spot’s girlfriend. I know that you and Spot...were seeing each other. You’re not still seeing each other, are you?”

“Calm down...No, we’re not. He broke it off. And we weren’t seeing each other. We were just fooling around.”

The way Race had brushed it off as if it was nothing made Jojo suspect that he was lying. He wouldn’t have been surprised since it hadn’t been the first time Race had lied to him. Thing was, with Race, he always found out eventually. Still, Jojo didn’t doubt that Spot had at least tried to break it off. And then he had to remind himself that at the end of the day, it was none of his business.

“Fine. But I think the article has a point. With the whole time thing. And Race…” Jojo put his hand firmly on Race’s shoulder. “I think you’ve had enough time.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You know who I’m talking about.”

Race shoved Jojo’s hand off of him and stood up. “You shut the fuck up. You know I’ve moved on. I’ve been with plenty of guys since and…”

“You’ve had plenty of friends with benefits, you mean.”

“Even so, Jojo, there are some wounds that time just doesn’t heal. I don’t expect you to get it, but...don’t use this stupid article to try to tell me when and how I should move on. Fuck you.” Race’s face was red and his eyes were starting to water. Jojo took that as a sign to leave it alone. Race was right. It wasn’t his decision.

The truth is, there is no surefire way of getting over someone. It just takes time. And the thing about time is that it keeps moving. So the best way to move on is to get up, dust yourself off, and follow along with time. You don’t have to keep up, but you have to try. Once you try, just go at your own pace, one step at a time. There may come a day when you look in a mirror and realize that enough time has passed. You might be surprised to learn you’ve already moved on.

The article made it around the school for the next week, helping some people, while provoking discussion in others. Even though Sarah didn’t find any particular answer she was looking for on her quest of trying to figure out how to get over someone, she was still glad she looked. She was confused, but she was happy and that’s all that mattered.

Unfortunately, every high has its come down.

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holdenmgrudges · 6 years

Text

Chapter 11 - Datesies

I have returned with a new chapter. I hope I am doing Sarah justice. In this chapter, Jack and David go on their first date, Spot and Race can’t keep their hands off each other, and Sarah has some internal struggles regarding some external circumstances. Happy reading.

Or read on AO3 if you prefer.

“Is this a date?” David had to clarify because they hadn’t really talked about it since...Well, since they admitted they liked each other. David was all smiles during the school newspaper meeting after that, but as soon as he got home, he’d gone into overthinking mode. He didn’t have to wait long for Jack to text him, and they made plans to hang out just the two of them at Jacobi’s, but the word ‘date’ didn’t make its way into the conversation.

“I thought that was pretty clear,” Jack replied.

“Oh.” It was as if suddenly he didn’t know what to say. It was easier when he thought he had no chance in hell with Jack, but now that he knew he did, he ran out of conversation. “Cool.”

Luckily, Jack wasn’t lost for words. “So you like me, huh?”

David smiled and nodded. “I thought that was pretty clear.”

“I just...I didn’t know. You’re a mystery, Davey. I know you’re smart and kind and you’re very very cute…” David blushed at this. “But you don’t really talk about yourself a lot. You’re too...humble.”

David knew this was true about himself. He just didn’t want to seem overbearing or annoying. “What do you want to know?”

Jack shifted back in the booth they were sitting at and thought for a second. “I don’t think I’ve ever asked you...What’s your favorite color?”

David chuckled to himself. It was such a simple question. It reminded him of the day they met in art class. And he realized there was no need to be so nervous. Jack was still Jack. The only thing different was that they liked each other. “Brown.”

“Brown?”

“Yeah, brown.” He knew it was a boring color, but he liked it.

“And why is that your favorite color?”

David shrugged. “It’s found in nature. It’s neutral so it goes with everything. It’s underappreciated.”

“It’s the color of your eyes…”

David blushed again and smiled. “Yeah. That’s true.” Their eyes lingered on each other’s before David looked away, embarrassed.

“Don’t look away.” Jack reached out to grab his hand, but David pulled it back. It was awkward, but it was a reflex. David relaxed his fist and slid it back towards Jack.

“Sorry, I’m not used to this. I’ve never...been on a date.”

Jack gently took David’s hand and stroked his fingers. “Never?”

“Never.”

“I’ll try to make it special then.”

They ate and then moved on to playing games while Jack asked David more questions about himself. Every time Jack made any kind of physical contact with him, be it touching his fingers or putting his arm around him, David had to remind himself to relax. But eventually, the conversation made David comfortable enough to not overthink like he usually did. He even began asking Jack questions of his own.

After awhile, Jack noticed David continuously checking his watch and suggested it was time to go home. David apologized and told him he had a curfew. As they left Jacobi’s, Jack offered David a ride on his motorcycle, but David declined. He wasn’t ready for that. Well, he was scared. So Jack insisted on walking him home. They continued conversing, the topic now being favorite foods. Jack’s was a very specific burger, while David listed a variety of Jewish dishes his grandmother liked to make. They held hands the whole way.

When they got to his house, they stopped on the porch and David suddenly remembered something he’d meant to ask Jack. “Hey, you never told me what your favorite color was.”

“My favorite color always changes,” Jack replied with a smile. He used a finger to swipe the hair out of David’s eyes and continued, “But you’ve uh...turned me on to brown.”

That’s when David realized that their date had come to an end and what the end of the first date usually entailed. But was he ready for that? He’d just gotten comfortable with hand-holding. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t imagined kissing Jack. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t practiced on his own hand. But that had all been in his head. Now, it was about to be real life.

The worry came rushing back. What if he was bad at kissing? What if it was the deciding factor on whether there would be a second date or not? He supposed he could always go back to being just friends with Jack. But now that they’d gone on a date, he didn’t want to go back. Jack had called him too humble earlier, but now all he was thinking about was what he wanted. He wanted Jack. And he knew Jack wanted him back.

Jack took a step forward and David reflexively took a step back. Jack froze and David felt like an idiot. ‘Man up!’ he told himself and took a step toward Jack. Okay, here was the moment. David’s first kiss. It seemed to take forever as they inched closer to each other. David closed his eyes and waited for what seemed like an eternity.

Suddenly, the door opened behind him. He felt Jack back off and heard a deep clearing of a throat. David opened his eyes and turned, hoping it wasn’t his dad. Luckily, it wasn’t. It was Spot Conlon and Sarah. Spot looked as if he’d walked in on an orgy. Sarah looked both amused and sorry. David turned to see Jack looking like he was having a flashback.

“Uh bye,” Spot said to Sarah as he left in a rush, not even making eye contact with her.

“Bye.” Sarah cringed as she turned to the other two. “I am so sorry. I invited Spot to dinner to meet Mom and Dad and I didn’t know you two were out here and...I’m gonna leave you to it, okay?” She gave David a sorry smile and then went back into the house, leaving them alone again.

David was hoping for some kind of tension-relieving laughter, but it didn’t come. Jack was looking down now, and David felt it was up to him to fix the situation. “We should have a redo.”

Jack looked up, confused. “Right now?”

“No,” he replied, a little too quickly. “I meant like...go on another date. ‘Cause this was fun. And...the more dates we go on, the better I’ll probably get at them.”

Jack laughed softly. “You were pretty great at this one. I just...didn’t expect to see Spot Conlon at your house. Is he dating Sarah?”

David shrugged. “Yeah, I guess so. He’s the first guy she’s brought home at least.”

“Oh.”

David didn’t know what was going on, but he could sense that Jack was keeping something from him. He just didn’t know what. “Sarah thinks he’s cool despite everything I’ve heard about him. I trust her judgment more than anyone else’s so…”

Jack smiled as he seemed to shake his thoughts away. “So I guess that means she approves of me? Dating you, I mean.”

David nodded. “She’s probably our number one shipper.”

“Oh yeah? What would our ship name be?”

“Mmm,” he thought. “Probably something stupid like Javid.”

They both laughed and their eyes were drawn to each other again. Jack got close and this time David didn’t back away. A couple more seconds of staring and David couldn’t take it anymore. He softly pressed his lips against Jack’s and he had his first kiss. There were no fireworks, no choir of angels, no foot popping. But as they pulled apart, David could see a smile on Jack’s face and really, that’s all he needed.

“We should have a redo,” Jack stated, raising an eyebrow.

“On our next date,” David replied confidently. “It’ll be better. Longer perhaps.”

“Can’t wait.” They smiled at each other for a few more seconds before Jack stepped back to leave. He gave David the peace sign and went off.

David watched him walk off and then turned around to see Sarah and Les watching him from one of the front windows. They also had smiles on their faces as David went red. He shuffled on inside to reproach them.

Spot felt bad. But all the guilt went away whenever he was around Race. They had tiptoed around a conversation they both wanted to have. In class, Spot had seen Jojo and remembered what Race had said about having told Jojo that they kissed. Jojo was acting like nothing was different, however, so Spot didn’t know if it was true or not. And it seemed like every time Spot stopped by the computer lab to walk Sarah home, Race was around the same area, watching them. Still, every time they met up alone to talk...they didn’t do much talking.

The first time they saw each other after their fight was on the weekend. They met up at the library and tried to study, but Race couldn’t keep his attention focused on math. He started playing footsie with Spot, who went along with it. It wasn’t long until they were in a bathroom stall kissing. It wasn’t until someone else entered the bathroom that they went back to studying.

The next time they saw each other was in the morning at school before class began. Race suggested they talk and they took a walk by the baseball field. As they rounded the back of the bleachers, Spot pulled Race under them and they began to make out. They were there until the bell reminded them they still needed to go to class.

It was like that for a couple of weeks. A cheeky wink here and there, a subtle touch during math class as they passed back tests, and even a stolen kiss in the hallway when no one was around. The guilt came and went, but they knew they had to have a talk when Jojo invited them over to his house. The OG study group was getting back together.

It was like it had been before, except Spot now felt awkward around Jojo. Did he really know about the two of them? Had Race been updating him on all their makeout sessions? Jojo was still acting oblivious though.

Their meeting went as usual, except Jojo hadn’t offered them alcoholic drinks. Spot wondered if Jojo’s parents had gotten rid of all the liquor in the house since the party. Then Race left the room for a second and came back with a bottle of vodka and some orange juice. Jojo looked as if he was going to say something but decided against it, instead choosing to focus on studying.

After a while, Spot stated he had to pee and left the room to go to the bathroom. “I have to pee too,” he heard from behind him and as he went into the hallway, he felt someone following him.

Spot turned to see Race catching up with him. “I do actually have to pee, you know. That wasn’t like code or anything.”

“I know.”

“So you’re just going to follow me anyway?”

“There’s more than one bathroom...But maybe. I’m a little curious…”

“About how I pee?”

“Among other things.” Race looked down at Spot’s general crotch area.

“You’re really disgusting, you know that?” he said jokingly, with a smile.

“And yet, you keep putting your tongue in my mouth.” They both laughed and then stared at each other. Sometimes Spot wanted to just stare into Race’s eyes for a long time. But Race never seemed to be able to hold himself back. And just like that, Spot’s tongue was back in Race’s mouth. His bladder would just have to wait to be emptied.

“Ahem.” Spot and Race parted lips and looked to see who had interrupted them. Jojo stood there staring back and forth between the two of them, not looking one bit surprised. “Do you two need a room or can we get back to studying?”

“I still need to pee,” Spot said, before running off to the bathroom. Not only was he embarrassed, but he was scared. And disappointed in himself. How could he his affections for another guy just take control of his body like that? If he kept it up, it wouldn’t be long until he was just making out with Race in public. He knew he needed to be more careful.

After peeing, he returned to the kitchen where Race was sipping on partially melted ice and Jojo looked like he was ready to throw his book into the fireplace. “Hey, Jojo? Can I talk to you?” Spot turned to Race. “Alone?”

Race stopped sipping and sighed, putting his glass down on the table. “Fine. I’ll actually go pee this time.” He left the room and then it was just Spot and Jojo.

“I just wanted to say...I’m sorry for what you witnessed out there. I don’t uh...usually lose control like that. I just…”

“Race is very persuasive,” Jojo acknowledged. “Trust me, I know.”

“Oh. Did you and him…?” He didn’t know how to feel about what he was asking.

Jojo let out a snort before shaking his head. “We kissed once when we were drunk but...he’s like a brother to me. It’s funny, he still tries to kiss me whenever there are homophobes around. I always tell him that’s a bad idea for me because he can run fast and I can’t.”

Spot let out a quiet laugh, before getting serious again. “Jo...Please don’t tell anyone.”

Jojo gave Spot a look as if to ask if he was being serious. “I would never tell anyone.” And then his expression changed, his face conveying a mental struggle between saying something and keeping quiet. Spot waited. “Are you dating Sarah Jacobs?”

Whatever it was that Spot had been expecting, that wasn’t it. “I...uh...yeah.”

“Does she know about you and Race?”

“No…” All the guilt just rushed at Spot and he felt like he was pinned down by his strongest opponent.

“I’m not judging,” Jojo clarified. “I just think you should consider talking to her about it, especially if you and Race are having sex. I just think it’d be fair game if everyone involved knew about everyone who was involved.”

At that moment, Race walked back into the room looking pleased with himself. He looked back and forth between the other two, wondering why they were both being quiet. Spot got red in the face before announcing to the room, “We’re not having sex.”

“Right, well,” Jojo finished, “just something to consider. Now, let’s get back to studying. Please.”

Race looked confused as all hell, but he sat down nonetheless without asking questions.

Spot tried to focus on the work, but he knew deep down that Jojo was right. He wasn’t being fair to Sarah by keeping this from her. Hell, he wasn’t being fair to himself. But he just wasn’t ready to let her know his secret. It was his and he was going to keep it for as long as he needed.

He didn’t know that Sarah felt exactly the same way about her own secret.

Sarah was always a girl, even though sometimes she looked in the mirror and didn’t see the body she had hoped for. But she was an optimistic girl. She knew she was lucky that her family loved her for who she was. And for the most part, she knew who she was. Her family had always gone above and beyond to make her feel as comfortable and loved as they could. Everyone outside of her immediate family, however, she wasn’t so comfortable around.

When they moved, Sarah felt like she was making a new start. Small town life didn’t suit her because everyone knew her. Some people still even called her Junior or J.J. She’d originally been named Jacob, after her father. But once she came out to her family, she was known as Sarah, after her mother.

Even though Sarah had naturally feminine features, it wasn’t easy for her once she decided to publicly be herself. She got picked on a lot by boys and she never felt included by the girls. Her mother tried to be inclusive by taking her out on mother-daughter dates. They would go shopping, try on makeup, watch romantic comedies, and most importantly just talk. Her father was more protective. It was his idea to pay for self defense classes and to send her to a more inclusive school in the city.

It was fun while it lasted. No one at her city school knew she was trans, but she could tell they were all very accepting. She made friends, boys flirted with her, and her confidence grew. She was almost ready to tell everyone she was trans, when all of a sudden, her parents told her that she wouldn’t be returning to that school the next semester.

Her parents said that her father had been fired and they couldn’t afford to send her back, but they wouldn’t explain why he’d been let go. The fact that Mr. Jacobs had just broken his arm only added to the mystery. Sarah’s ability to snoop soon cleared it all up when she eavesdropped on a private conversation between her parents. The boss had apparently said some really gross, nasty, transphobic words and Mr. Jacobs lost it. He had tried to hit his boss, but his boss was faster and stronger. According to Mr. Jacobs, he was lucky to get out with just a broken arm and no job. No charges were pressed.

Sarah blamed herself for the event, but she held her head up high when she returned to her small town school. She told herself she wasn’t going to become a victim and was able to hold her own against bullies. Her charisma led her to make friends with people she hadn’t been able to before. She kept her grades up and for some time, things were fine. Just fine.

Every once in a while she would think back to the good times she had at her school in the city, and she knew that one day she’d have to return. Small town life wasn’t for her. City life was the dream. Not long later, her parents would tell her that her father got a new job, and they would have to move.

Now, she was in Katherine’s bedroom teaching her some self defense moves like she said she would do. Even as Katherine was pretending to attack her, she felt safe. It was like it had been at her city school. Life was good and she couldn’t complain. Except, she really wanted to tell someone she was trans. She specifically wanted to tell Katherine, but she didn’t know why. Other than she felt really comfortable around her.

She didn’t exactly know how to bring it up though. With David, it was easy because they were twins. They shared everything, and Sarah suspected that David knew she was a girl before she did. With her parents, it was different but they still knew something was up. She tried hard to make sure she erased her browsing history, but somehow her parents caught on and they had a conversation. As for Les, he was the one with the most questions, but the most acceptance.

Sarah kept overthinking different ways to talk to Katherine about it as she showed her some basic blocking techniques. Katherine was slowly getting it, but Sarah did have to keep repeating the steps. “You know it’s called self defense, right? You’re supposed to be defending yourself, not thinking about where you’re gonna hit me next.”

Katherine looked taken aback for a second, but then brushed it off. “Sorry, I just want to learn as much as I can. I want boys to be afraid of me.”

“Bill and Darcy are pretty afraid of you,” Sarah replied with a laugh.

“They’re afraid of all girls.”

“Jack’s afraid of you.”

“Good. He can cower in fear as he watches me kick ass.”

“That might just turn him on.”

Katherine rolled her eyes and then tried attacking Sarah. Sarah blocked her and then quickly but with as little damage as she could, dropped her and pinned her to the ground.

“Teach me how to do that,” Katherine said, with excitement.

“Alright, fine.” Sarah began to show her slowly, trying to break the moves down as much as possible, but as easy as possible. First they practiced with Katherine attacking her and then the other way around.

“Why aren’t you in the wrestling team?” Katherine asked. “I mean, this is pretty much the same. You’d probably be as good as Spot Conlon.”

Spot was another person Sarah wanted to tell, but for other reasons. As much as she wanted to believe he’d be okay with her, she just didn’t know. With Katherine it was simpler because she was just her friend. But with Spot, they were technically dating. And also he was a guy. She knew guys wouldn’t take it as well as girls. Although Sarah knew she didn’t need a boyfriend, the prospect of one was fun and exciting. It was something new and with a boy she thought was really nice and really polite. But she knew boys were nice until they weren’t.

“I thought the wrestling team was just for boys. I wouldn’t want to be the only girl.”

“It’s our duty to be the only girl,” Katherine said as she tried pushing Sarah to the ground. “We have to show other girls that we can survive in a male dominated field. And that we can be better than them at it. I’d do it if I wasn’t busy with stuff I’m already good at.”

“I don’t know. The paper keeps me pretty busy and I’m already dating Spot so I see him enough.” Katherine was doing it all wrong, but Sarah fell to the ground anyway.

“You’re dating Spot Conlon?” She sounded intrigued.

“Yeah, it’s nothing serious yet but...I like him. He’s a nice guy.”

“If you say so.” She got on top of Sarah and pinned her down just like Sarah had. Sarah thought, at least she knew how to do one thing.

“I do say so.” She smiled up at Katherine above her and the girl smiled back. They stared at each other for what Sarah thought was a little too long.

“You should join the LGBTQ+ Club,” Katherine said suddenly. “It doesn’t take much of your free time. We only meet on Wednesdays during lunch. It’d be fun with you in it. And we always need allies.”

Sarah had been hesitant to join the club ever since Jack had told her about it her first day at school. She didn’t want to bring attention to herself or have people ask questions. Then she thought about it again when David joined, but she was too busy with the paper to join something else. At least that’s what she told herself.

But now that Katherine was asking, it seemed like a no-brainer. It was as if a lightbulb went off in Sarah’s head. Why hadn’t she joined? Her brother and two of her friends were in the club. It wouldn’t raise suspicions at all. “Why not? I’ll join.”

“Great,” Katherine replied with another smile. Again, they stared at each other for a little too long, It wasn’t until Sarah realized she was getting...excited below the belt, that she finally reacted. She grabbed Katherine and flipped her over, quickly getting up and facing away from her.

“Sorry, I really need to pee. Where’s your bathroom?”

“Down the hall, straight ahead.” Katherine thankfully hadn’t seemed to notice anything.

Sarah tried to remain as calm as possible as she walked to the bathroom. It felt like it took ages to get there. Every thought running through her mind was confusing her. Was that why she wanted to tell Katherine? Because she...liked her? Or was she just attracted to her? Or was that just a random fluke that occured because of body contact?

She’d always thought Katherine was beautiful, but she’d also thought that about plenty of other girls and she’d never felt any kind of sexual attraction to them. To be fair, she’d never felt much sexual attraction to boys either. Sarah was confused, but she decided to just calm down and give Katherine some excuse for going home. She could talk to David. Maybe he could give her some insight. But when she got home, David was on the phone with Jack.

The next day at school, she had to keep telling herself to calm down, but when she saw Katherine across the hall, she panicked a little. She turned to walk the other way and saw Spot and his posse by his locker. And she knew there was only one thing to do. She walked directly to him, grabbed his shirt and pulled him in for a kiss.

He was surprised and confused, as were the people around him. It was kind of a test to Sarah. To see if she liked it. She worried a little that she would get excited like she had the day before, but she had tucked well so she wasn’t too worried. However, nothing happened down there. They parted lips and Spot gave her a goofy smile. Some of his posse cheered.

“Sorry,” she apologized. “I just saw you and I had to…” He told her it was fine and then took her hand as they walked down the hallway. The posse surrounded them and now Sarah felt like she’d done something both stupid and revolutionary. She may not have joined the wrestling team, but now she was pretty sure the wrestling team had her back. And if she ever broke it off with Spot, they’d probably turn on her in an instant. What was worse, was that she still didn’t know how she felt about either Spot or Katherine. She’d have to figure that out.

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holdenmgrudges · 6 years

Text

Chapter 15 - Effectsies

Whoops. I forgot to post this here when I posted it on AO3. In this chapter, Crutchie and David try to help Jack out, Spot has a sleepover at Jojo's, and Sarah has a conversation with the Delanceys.

Or read on AO3 if you prefer.

The vandalism caused a big commotion, in the principal’s office, that was led by Jack, Katherine, and Race. Miss Medda joined in as soon as she saw. Crutchie was angry, but he knew it was better if he let the others try to handle it. Crutchie felt like his voice didn’t matter, or that he’d be pitied.

He sat outside the office, waiting to hear what was happening, and he stared at his crutch, thinking how no matter what he did, he wouldn’t ever feel normal again. Even if he got some kind of new mechanical leg. But he knew that a crutch was better than a wheelchair. It was way more uncomfortable, but at least he could walk.

When the three teens and Medda came out of the office with the principal, they all still looked angry, but a little more calm. Jack told Crutchie that the principal was going to search lockers for any kind of spray cans. Crutchie thought that was a dumb idea. The graffiti may have been discovered that morning, but the culprit essentially had all weekend to do it and he figured they wouldn’t be stupid enough to leave the evidence in their locker. But at least it was something to do. Meanwhile, a custodian would paint over the graffiti.

As he walked to class, Crutchie couldn’t help but look at every single person he passed in the halls, wondering if any one of them could have done the damage. He tried to distract himself with his actual classwork, but it wasn’t long until he got a text that would keep him preoccupied.

When the bell rang, he knew what he had to do. He walked as quickly as he could to the principal’s office, ready to make some noise. He didn’t care how much trouble he got in. Jack needed him and he was going to be there for him.

When he got there, however, a tired-looking Jack was leaving with Miss Medda at his side. “Jack, I was just gonna tell Pulitzer--”

Miss Medda held up a finger. “Crutchie, don’t say anything else. It’s all been taken care of. Go to your next class.”

“I’ll see you at lunch,” Jack was able to mutter.

When lunch came along, Crutchie hurried to Miss Medda’s room. The door was open, as the paint was still drying. Miss Medda was in there making a call, but Jack wasn’t there yet. He sat down and a minute later, David came in.

“Hey, Crutchie. What’s going on? I got a text from Specs earlier that said Jack was in trouble. That they’d found spray cans in his locker.”

“Yeah, he sent me that text too. I went down to Pulitzer’s office to tell them the cans were mine but...Miss Medda said it was taken care of.”

Miss Medda had finished her call and had apparently heard them talking because she went up to them and cheerfully said, “Hey, boys, can you come help me in the costume room?” The two of them followed her into what was essentially a walk in closet full of costumes. She made sure none of the other students in the classroom had followed or were close enough to listen.

“Okay, here’s what happened,” she said. “Yes, they found spray cans in Jack’s locker. So the principal called him to his office. Luckily he didn’t say anything until I got there. I told Pulitzer that Jack had the spray cans because he was helping me paint a set for the next school play and I forgot that I’d given them to him. Pulitzer was suspicious, but he had no reason to doubt me. Just as I have no reason to doubt Jack.

“I know he didn’t put up the graffiti, and that’s the only reason I said what I said. But those cans weren’t mine and they weren’t his so...Someone is trying to frame him. I think right now he’s trying to find out who, but...I think he just needs his friends. And I’m sure you need him too.”

The boys nodded and then they proceeded to go try to find Jack. But when they did, he was too far into his investigation. He was angry and he was making it his sole purpose to find out who was trying to frame him. For the next few days, he kept obsessing over it to the point where Crutchie and David needed a break. He’d even brought it up in the LGBTQ+ Club meeting.

The next week, Crutchie texted David and they met in Miss Medda’s room for lunch. He knew Jack wouldn’t mind going at his investigation alone. He probably preferred it that way. But Crutchie was tired. The graffiti could’ve been done by anyone.

“We need him to stop,” David said as they settled down into their desks.

“But how?” Crutchie had tried everything shy of physically snapping Jack out of it. He even tried reasoning that the damage wasn’t bad enough to be so focused on it, although he didn’t believe that himself. People at school were still talking about the incident, as they probably would be for the next few weeks. Even as he went into the little theatre, he’d seen people staring at the door, wondering if the vandalizer would strike again.

“I’ve been thinking,” David said slowly and quietly. “I mean, I’m not sure it would work, but...It would probably distract him…” Crutchie waited. “But I don’t know if it’s a good idea.”

“What is it, Davey?”

“Okay, so ever since the graffiti thing happened, I’ve just been wanting to do something. Something big. Something to make us feel stronger. To...give a big middle finger to the man. And to whoever put up that...hateful word.”

“Just spit it out. Your idea.”

“Okay, well, what if we hold some kind of pride pep rally? I know at the very least everyone in the club would participate. We could hand out stickers and stuff. Get a few others to join in. Maybe have new people join the club.”

“Jack could make a speech.”

“Katherine could write it.”

“Davey, I could kiss you!” David blushed a little, though it went unnoticed by Crutchie. “That’s a great idea! It would definitely distract Jack, and it would also help us out. We should definitely pitch it at the next meeting. You...you’re a genius.”

“I wouldn’t say genius…”

“Godsend then. An angel. A saint. Deus ex machina.”

“Crutchie...please…”

At the next meeting, Davey, with Crutchie’s help, pitched the idea to the club, and everyone was on board. They all put effort in and by the next Friday, they were holding their rally. Jack was successfully distracted and everything had gone according to plan. Stickers were handed out, some other clubs joined in for the pep part of the rally, there were even some possible new club recruits, and Katherine had written a speech for Jack.

Jack was at the end of the speech when he suddenly stopped. Crutchie could tell that he’d just gotten one of his crazy Jack ideas. Ideas that could go either way.

“You know,” Jack said into the microphone. “I’d like to thank you all for showing your support for the our community and for your classmates. But most of all, I’d like to thank one person in particular, for who we owe this rally to. David Jacobs, could you please come up here?”

David looked at Crutchie, wondering what he should do, but Crutchie was just as confused and he shrugged. David looked back up at Jack and upon seeing his inviting smile, went up to the stage nervously.

Jack took David’s hand and looked back out to the audience. “This guy right here has done more for the LGBTQ+ Club than I’ve done since I started it. He’s made it a real safe space. He has all the best ideas. He’s...he’s amazing.” He turned back to David, who was fully red. “I have a question for you, Davey. Will you…” Jack swallowed before finishing the question. “Will you be my boyfriend?”

There were some gasps from the audience. Crutchie knew at that moment that this was probably one of Jack’s more worse ideas, but he didn’t know if he thought that because it was true, or out of jealousy. David looked right at him as Jack waited for a response. But again, all Crutchie could do was shrug.

“Yes,” David said as he turned back to Jack.

“Yes?”

“Yes.”

Jack smiled and he pulled in David for a kiss. In front of the whole school. Cheers came, mostly from the front where members of the LGBTQ+ club were standing. Some groans were heard from the back. Crutchie then figured it out. He wasn’t jealous. He wouldn’t have traded places with David if he could. All of this, it wasn’t personal. It was a stunt. Crutchie felt sad, not because Jack and David were officially a couple, but because he felt that Jack had just started on a path to ruin another relationship.

Spot couldn’t exactly react to the vandalism. He had to pretend he didn’t notice it or that it didn’t affect him. Except it did affect him. He was much quieter in the weeks after it happened. He was focused on wrestling more than anything. He usually gave the team inspirational speeches before every meet, but now he was letting Jojo give them. Spot was just trying not to break down and cry.

The Friday after the graffiti was found, the school paper had released a front page article about it. For some reason, Spot’s mother had gotten a copy of it and someone had sent her a picture of the graffiti in question. “Serves them faggots right, huh son?” she’d asked him straight to his face. He agreed with her and then went to his room, crying as quietly as he possibly could.

But he could deal with that. He was strong. It wasn’t until the pride pep rally that he’d finally had enough. He was standing towards the back, trying to pay attention to Jack’s speech, but the Delancey brothers were standing nearby talking loudly. He wanted to yell at them to shut up, but he didn’t want to draw any attention to himself.

Then Jack called David to the stage and they kissed. He’d seen it before, in front of Sarah’s house. He’d felt awkward about it at first, but he had tried not to think much of it. Now that it was in public for everyone to see, Spot felt like he was the one on blast even though it wasn’t him on stage. “That’s fucking gross,” he heard one of the Delanceys say. He wanted to punch them both in the face. Instead, he subtly walked away to the nearest bathroom.

He’d locked himself in a stall when he heard the footsteps of someone coming in. He hoped to god it wasn’t Race. He didn’t want to deal with him and his radical ideas. He hoped it was just some random guy that needed to pee and would leave right after. Of course, whoever it was knocked at his stall. “Spot?”

Luckily, it wasn’t Race’s voice that he heard. It was Jojo’s. And he couldn’t have been happier to hear it. He got up and exited the stall, giving Jojo probably the biggest hug he’d ever given him. Probably the biggest hug he’d ever given anyone. Without saying anything, Jojo hugged him back. “Hey, Jo? Can I stay with you this weekend?”

Spot told his mom he was staying at a wrestling buddy’s place for the weekend to study for their end of year tests. It wasn’t exactly a lie, although he didn’t think they’d do a lot of studying. He got to Jojo’s house and was a bit irked to see Race open the door. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to see him. He just would have rather it be only him and Jojo. Race was an emotional overload for him. Around him, he felt happy, sad, horny, angry, and peaceful all in the span of one glance.

Race looked just as pleased to see him, a bit reserved at first, but then all smiles. He took Spot’s hand and pulled him into the kitchen where Jojo was pouring them drinks. A screwdriver for Race and two orange juices for Spot and himself. Race continued holding his hand.

“God, you guys are making me look like an alcoholic,” Race said before downing his entire drink happily. Jojo and Spot laughed.

They spent the rest of the night playing games and watching tv. After midnight, Spot could tell Jojo was tired, as he kept yawning. He figured Jojo liked the company and didn’t want to be the first to bow out. Spot wasn’t sleepy, but he felt obligated to let his friend rest. “Hey Jo? I’m getting kinda tired.”

“Oh? Yeah, man, it’s pretty late, huh?” he replied. Race groaned a little as they all got up to go upstairs. He seemed to still be up for a party. “Do you want to sleep in my room or take a guest room?”

“Guest room’s cool,” Spot said. He didn’t want to bother Jojo as he slept, and he knew if he was in the room, Race would be too. He felt like being alone with his thoughts.

After brushing his teeth, Jojo led him to one of the guest rooms and said, “Race, my room,” when he saw Race tiptoeing towards the bed. Spot smiled at Race but pushed him out before saying good night and closing the door.

He lay awake in bed, with the bedside lamp on, thinking about the way he’d let his mother dictate how to live his life. He loved her, and as a kid, he thought she could do no wrong. The older he grew, the more wrong he realized she was doing.

He’d always blamed the alcohol for everything. He’d always thought she relied too much on it. He’d thought it was the reason she had hit him when he was younger. She’d stopped when she realized he could do more damage to her than she could to him. She never realized that he would never hurt her. But he was starting to realize the alcohol wasn’t the issue. She was.

He got up and went downstairs. He took a glass and poured some vodka in it. At first, he stared at it. Then, he took a sip. It burned and he wondered why people liked the stuff. Maybe he needed more. He took a gulp this time. He hated it. Or maybe he hated himself enough to drink more. Was this how it started? With one gulp of self-hatred?.

“I thought you didn’t drink.”

Spot turned around and saw Race standing at the doorway, watching him. “I thought you didn’t want to look like an alcoholic.”

Race walked toward him and took the glass from his hand. He drank the rest of the vodka and put the glass down. “I’d rather be an alcoholic than turn you into one.”

“Thanks. I hated it.”

Race smiled at him and took his hand like he had earlier. “Bedtime.” Spot wanted to just melt. This whole thing with Race was too complicated for him to handle, but it was easier when he didn’t think about it. Maybe that’s why he tried drinking. He was tired of continuous thinking.

They went upstairs to the guest room, where Race closed and locked the door. He led him to the bed and they immediately began making out. But as much as he didn’t want to think, Spot knew that they couldn’t just keep doing that and not expect there to be consequences. Cheating on Sarah was one thing, but he was getting too comfortable. He was heading towards a point where he wouldn’t be able to go back.

When Race took a condom out of his pocket, Spot didn’t know that would be the deciding point. He was overcome with lust and the shot he took was starting to affect him. He couldn’t control his impulses. Race guided him through everything, from stripping down, to loosening him up. It was an experience he would never forget. There were some awkward moments, but when they finished, he felt he’d been successful.

He woke up needing to pee. Race was on the other side of the bed, having stolen all the blankets. Spot put his shirt and underwear on and went to the bathroom. He figured he might as well shower and brush his teeth. When he’d done that, he still didn’t want to go back to the room. He didn’t know why. It would be so easy to go back to bed and watch Race sleep until he couldn’t take it anymore, waking him up with kisses and cuddles. Easy, but wrong.

Instead, he went to Jojo’s room. The door was open and he could see the guy was still sleeping. The floor creaked as he turned to walk away, and he heard the movement of sheets. “Spot?”

Spot turned back around and smiled at his friend. “Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you.”

“It’s fine. I was already awake. Just being lazy. Come in.” Jojo sat up as Spot went to sit down next to him. “I assume the ghost of Racetrack present paid you a visit last night?” Spot smiled and nodded. Jojo sighed. “He told me he was going to break it off. Guess he can’t quit you.”

Spot got up and closed the door before heading back. “I guess I can’t quit him either. But...it sucks, Jo. Because...I can never be with him.”

“What makes you say that?”

“I’m not...out. I have a girlfriend. I’m captain of the wrestling team. The only pride my mom has is in having a hetero, masculine, little man who loves her. I...I can never be with Race.”

“Never is such a bullshit word. You don’t know what’s going to happen in the future. Never could turn into someday. And someday could turn into...now.”

Spot shook his head. “I can’t, Jojo. I’d lose everything. Everyone. Sarah, my team, my friends...my mom.”

“You wouldn’t lose me. Or rather, you haven’t lost me and you won’t. Do you know why I joined the wrestling team? Because I saw you and your leadership skills and I thought, I want to be that guy. He’s cool, and he’s fierce, and he makes it look so easy. Whether you’re with a girl or with a guy, you’re still you, Spot. And if people can’t see that, they will. You’ll show them.”

“Even so, it’s not like I could ask Race to deal with all my shit.”

“He likes you. He really likes you. He doesn’t want to admit it, but he does. The last guy that Race really liked...He’s still not over it. But I think you can help. I think you can make him happy. And he can make you happy. You just have to be brave. At your own pace. Remember, not never, but someday. Until it becomes now.”

Spot nodded, thinking about it. Thinking of all the hurt he would have to cause in order to make himself happy. Thinking of how much happier he would be once he was able to kiss Race just as publicly as Jack kissed David, without feeling all the guilt and shame that he felt now. He wished he could just skip to the end.

Sarah was sure the writing on the door wasn’t directed at her. It was a blanket term for the community. But she didn’t know how to not take it personally. She’d been called that before by people she’d grown up with. She’d been called that by strangers who felt they thought they knew who she was. She hated the word.

But while a lot of her fellow club members were angry, she retreated into sadness. If this was the kind of treatment they got with her not even being out to anyone, what would it be like when she did? Even if what Jack had said was true, that the club was a safe space, once she told everyone in there, the rest of the school would probably find out. And once she left that safe space, she wouldn’t feel safe anymore.

Sarah had managed to convince Tommy Boy and Hot Shot to attend a club meeting, though she thought they were just being nice. Her own boyfriend wouldn’t attend, saying Jack Kelly would probably have him kicked out. She’d tried to tell him he wouldn’t, but Spot had made up his mind. She understood, though it didn’t put her at ease.

The week after the rally, Sarah was sitting on a bench outside the gym waiting for Spot to get out of practice. She had finished her homework and had started reading a new sci fi romance novel, her favorite genre. She’d even enjoyed the Twilight series at its peak, though she’d moved on to better written books.

The gym doors opened and she looked up, hoping to see Spot, but instead was met with the Delancey brothers. They hadn’t bothered her or Katherine since the award ceremony, but now they were headed straight to her. Without putting her book down, she stared them down. “Oscar, Morris, come for another beating?”

The brothers looked at each other and smiled before looking back at her. She didn’t like that. “Actually, we came with a proposition,” said Oscar.

“Sorry boys, even if you could afford me, it’d still be a no.”

“You haven’t heard us out,” Morris whined.

Sarah closed her book.

“You know, at the beginning of the year,” Oscar spoke, “we had a free period so we both chose to use it to be aides in the main office. It was something to do at the time.”

“Our dad said it would give us valuable experience.”

“We just thought it’d be boring office stuff. Putting staples in the staplers, sending memos to teachers, making copies on the copy machine.”

“They don’t even let us use the copy machine.”

“Is there a point to this?” Sarah asked impatiently.

“We didn’t think of the possibilities,” Oscar continued, a mischievous smile forming on his face. “We didn’t think that we’d be able to go through files without anyone finding out. Student files. With personal information.”

Sarah went pale. She remained silent as she waited for the ball to drop.

“We know you’re a dude,” Morris confirmed.

It was a terrible feeling to be called that to her face. The graffitied word would have been more welcome. She wanted to kick their asses again, but she waited, because she suspected there was more.

“You probably want to bust our skulls in, don’t you?” Oscar asked, rhetorically. “Thing is, you could do that. But then you’d force us to tell the whole school that we didn’t get our asses handed to us by a girl. Because she’s actually not a girl. She...is a he.” The brothers laughed as Sarah clenched her fist tighter and tighter.

“We own you,” came out of Morris’ smug lips. “You have to do whatever we want, whenever we want. Or else we tell everyone we can that you’re...whatever you are.”

“And the first thing we want you to do…” The two brothers smiled at each other again. “We want you to go into the principal’s office and tell him that you spray painted the graffiti on the little theatre.”

“It was you,” Sarah finally said. The Delanceys smiled at each other once more and shrugged. There it was. She was sure there wasn’t anything possibly worse than that. She should’ve known they were behind the tagging. The fact that they had access to student files meant they had access to student lockers. “You tried framing Jack.”

“My idea,” Morris said proudly.

“Even if that had worked,” Oscar suggested, rolling his eyes, “this is a much better plan. It’s win-win. We don’t get in trouble for the graffiti, and your secret doesn’t come out. We’ll uh...give you ‘til Friday, pal.”

With that, the Delancey brothers went back into the gym, leaving Sarah there with her thoughts. It may have been win-win for the Delanceys, but for her it was lose-lose. She could either take the blame for the graffiti, or she could risk the entire school finding out that she was trans. As much as she thought of it, she wasn’t ready to come out to anyone. She unclenched her fist, cursing herself as she saw the marks she’d left on her palm with her nails. She picked up her book, wishing she was a character in it. She couldn’t get it out of her mind that maybe the graffiti had been directed at her after all. Sarah only saw one solution.

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holdenmgrudges · 6 years

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Chapter 9 - Apologsies

I’ve finally written another chapter. Don’t think I haven’t noticed the new followers. Thanks for the follow and this is for you.

Or read on AO3 if you prefer.

Sarah woke up with a hangover the day after the party. She recalled David taking her home after Jojo’s parents had kicked everyone out. But more importantly, she remembered kissing Jack. And she remembered seeing David staring at them. And Spot. And Katherine.

Sarah sat up in bed and immediately regretted it. Her head was pounding, urging her to go back to bed. She took some painkillers and drank a bottle of water before doing so. Her parents and David were still in bed. Les was watching cartoons and eating cereal but he didn’t ask any questions. She wished she was still his age, naive enough to not have to worry about kisses and hangovers.

When she woke up again, it was because her mom wanted to know if she was okay. Sleeping in past noon wasn’t normal for any of them. Though her mom might have suspected she had a hangover. She wasn’t particularly quiet when she made Sarah get up.

David was in his room, but his door was open, so everyone knew he was awake. Sarah knocked on the doorframe and he looked at her. His expression was lifeless, which is how she knew he wasn’t happy with her. He looked back at his computer screen without saying anything.

“Dave, I’m sorry.” She walked in and leaned against his wall. “Last night I was being really dumb. That kiss didn’t mean anything and I don’t even remember what I was thinking.” But she could remember why she’d done it. She was just curious and wanted to see what it would feel like. She was even more disappointed in herself now that she knew she hadn’t felt anything. “David, I promise you have nothing to worry about with me and Jack. We were both drunk.”

David was still looking at his computer, but his eyes were fixed to one spot as if he was listening closely to what she was saying.

“Dave, say something. Please.”

After a second, he turned to her with a worried expression on his face. “Do you like him? Like…more than a friend?”

“No, Dave. Just friends. That’s all we are, I promise.”

“Are you sure?”

“Cross my heart.”

He nodded, but his expression remained the same. He remained silent for a few more seconds before quietly and nervously saying, “I think I do.”

“What?”

“I think I like him.”

“Oh.” It made sense now why he didn’t want her to be with Jack. It made sense why he was part of the LGBTQ+ Club, and why he suddenly had a best friend, and probably why he’d agreed to go to the party. “You think you like him? You don’t know for sure?”

David looked at the open door, as if he was worried someone was going to eavesdrop. Sarah took the hint and closed it. “I just know that I always want to be around him and I want to stare at him all the time and…” He shrugged.

“And…do you want to kiss him?” Sarah asked. David went a little red at the cheeks and shrugged again. Of course he wanted to kiss him. “Maybe you should tell him.”

“No. No, I can’t do that. That would be worse than if you got with him. Because then…Well, he probably doesn’t even like me like that anyway.”

“You’ll never know if you don’t ask, Dave.”

“Is that what you would do?”

“I…I don’t know. If I trusted him enough to call him my best friend, then maybe. But usually guys tell me that they like me first so…You know it’s different with me.” She’d never liked anyone like that before. She’d thought maybe she could with Jack, but after kissing him, and now finding out her brother liked him, she didn’t think she and Jack would work out. But she knew Jack wasn’t her only option.

Sarah and David continued talking for awhile, and he finally told her he forgave her. She left his room and knew the next person she needed to talk to was Spot. She texted him and waited for his response, which didn’t come for several hours. Eventually they made plans to meet at Jacobi’s in the evening.

She got there first and ordered a burger meal. In waiting for him to respond, she’d forgotten to eat, and now she was starving. Spot didn’t get there until she had finished eating. She was dipping the leftover fries in her milkshake, thinking she’d been stood up.

“Sorry I’m late. I was helping my mom clean,” Spot said as he sat down across from her.

“It’s fine.” She was just glad he’d shown up at all. “I’m the one who needs to be sorry. I…shouldn’t have kissed Jack last night.”

Spot shook his head. “It’s fine. It’s not like we’re exclusive or anything. It’s not like we’ve even gone on a date.”

Sarah sighed, wondering if she and Spot were over before they’d even begun. She asked herself again why she’d kissed Jack last night. She could have kissed Spot instead. He was so nice to her and they had clicked more than she ever had with Jack. She wasn’t head over heels for him, but she didn’t feel that way for Jack either.

But maybe she could. In time, maybe she could feel that way for him. Maybe the reason she hadn’t felt anything with Jack the night before was because she hadn’t known him long enough and she didn’t have explicit feelings for him. Or maybe it was the alcohol. Either way, she needed to give this thing with Spot a chance.

She smiled at him and slid her tray of fries over at him. “This could be our date.”

Spot’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Look, I don’t want to stand in the way if you and Jack Kelly have a thing…”

“Jack’s just a friend and that’s all I ever want to be with him. But you…” She shrugged. “I like you, Spot. And if you and I have something here…I’d like to see where it goes. So let’s finish these fries and then…we can play some games. Sound like a good enough date?”

Spot smiled and nodded. They finished the fries and then walked around the place trying out different games and talking like they usually did. As far as a date, it went well. Spot walked Sarah home afterwards, but hesitated before leaving.

Sarah knew what it was. End of first date jitters. She felt it too. She knew what usually happened during first dates. The kiss. Though as far as she was concerned, she’d had enough kisses in the past twenty-four hours. They both looked at each other for a few seconds before blushing and chuckling. “We…don’t have to kiss,” she finally said.

“Alright,” he agreed. “But we should definitely go on another date. We can work up to it. This was fun.”

“It was.” They smiled at each other and then Spot took a step forward, giving her…a hug. She embraced him for a few seconds, relieved it wasn’t a kiss. “See you at school tomorrow,” she said as they parted ways.

But even though she and Spot were fine, she felt a little sick when she thought about going to school the next day. Because the next person she had to be okay with was Katherine. And she thought that somehow that would be the hardest conversation she would have to have so far.

She found Katherine at lunch the next day interviewing students about the cafeteria food. She was going to write a piece in the paper about the effects of unhealthy public school food on the student body. Sarah knew Katherine had been interviewing kids for weeks and so far, she hadn’t even seen a rough draft of it. She figured Katherine was saving it for a really special edition.

Sarah waited until Katherine was done to approach her.

“What is it, Jacobs?” Katherine asked, surprising Sarah, who was coming from behind. “I saw you waiting for me.”

“I just…was wondering if we could talk.” Why was she so more nervous about this than she was talking to Spot? And why did she want Katherine’s forgiveness more than she wanted her brother’s?

“About what?”

“The party the other night. And how…you saw Jack and I kissing.”

Katherine raised a brow and tilted her head slightly.

“I know he’s your ex and…Well, I don’t want you to think me and him…”

“Sarah, I’m gonna stop you right there.” Katherine held up a finger. “Your first mistake was thinking it’s any of my business who Jack Kelly kisses. Your second mistake was thinking I give any…” She turned her hand palm upward. “For lack of a better word…fucks, about who you kiss. So if you can please stop wasting my time–”

“I just want you to know,” Sarah interrupted, “that your friendship matters more to me than…any boy that I kiss.” Katherine remained silent. “Your approval matters to me and…by the way you’ve acted around him, I can tell you don’t like Jack. So obviously he’s not…dating material. For me at least. Because it’s none of my business who Jack Kelly kisses either.”

Katherine seemed to soften up a little at these words. “Just because I can’t stand him…It doesn’t mean…” She scoffed at herself and then took a deep breath. “Okay, Sarah, I get it. You respect my opinions. But they’re my opinions. You’re allowed to have your own. However…I’m glad that you value my friendship in that way. I too enjoy your company and…honestly, whoever you allow to kiss you is lucky in my book.” She looked uncomfortable saying those words, but Sarah could tell she meant them.

“Thank you for being a friend,” she replied, and then laughed to herself. “Traveled down the road and back again.” Katherine looked confused. “Your heart is true…You’re a pal and a confidant?” The editor didn’t seem to get it. “Nevermind. I’ll see you after school, Katherine.”

Sarah walked a few steps before she was called back. “Sarah, wait.” Katherine had that awkward look on her face again. “Would you like to go to a function with me?”

“A function?”

“It’s this stupid event my dad’s making me go to. He’s being honored or something. And he wants me to bring a date.”

“A date?” She’d already gone on one too many dates in the past twenty-four hours.

“He never said it had to be a guy. And it’d be nice to have a friend there. If you say no, I’ll have to ask Bill or Darcy, who are way less better company than you–”

“Yes!”

“Yes?”

“Yes. I’d love to go with you.” It was the easiest decision she’d ever made. She’d been wanting to get to know Katherine better, and while getting secondhand information from Darcy and Bill was nice, getting it from the source would be much more satisfying.

“Okay, great,” Katherine said with a smile. “Let me give you the details then.”

Finally, Sarah felt like the girl was letting her in.

Davey was nowhere to be seen. Jack and Crutchie sat at their usual desks in Miss Medda’s room, each of them eating a burger. Except Jack didn’t feel like eating. His stomach had felt uneasy ever since the party. He’d texted both Davey and Sarah to apologize. The last thing he needed was his crush to think he had a thing for his sister. Sarah had replied telling him everything was fine, but Davey had left him on read.

And now he was missing at lunch. “He’s probably just out sick or something,” Crutchie said, trying to make him feel better. But Jack shook his head; he had heard from Race that Davey had showed up to PE, so he couldn’t be out sick or something. Which meant he was avoiding him.

Of course, Jack’s worry was as to why he was avoiding him. Was it because he wanted to protect his sister? Or was it because he was jealous of her? Jack couldn’t help but visualize a future in which he and Davey were together. He could picture it so clear, he was tempted to draw it for art class. Except, if he was wrong about Davey…

Maybe it was best to stick with the plan and remain friends. Because if Davey only saw him as a friend, it would ruin the friendship, and every lunch from then on would be exactly like the one he was currently having.

“Anyone ever tell you you think about boys too much?” Jack came out of his thoughts to side eye Crutchie. “And girls.” Jack rolled his eyes. “Look, if he’s here, you’ll see him next period. Even if he’s avoiding you, he’s too square to ditch class.”

It was true, which relieved Jack a little bit. Though, there was still that tiny chance that Davey would ditch class. But he couldn’t avoid him forever. He could at least talk to Sarah in his last class about the whole thing.

Jack finished his burger and distracted himself and his obviously bored best friend with talk about ideas for trust exercises. It’s what Davey would have talked about if he’d been there. Crutchie didn’t seem all too distracted, but he played along for Jack’s sake.

After lunch, Crutchie wished him luck and walked to his next class. Jack went to his but stood outside until the last minute. If he went inside and saw that Davey wasn’t there, he knew he wouldn’t be able to concentrate on his next project. He knew he had to come up with a new one since he’d given Katherine his old one.

He opened the door and…there Davey was. Sitting in his usual seat, setting up his artwork on the desk. Jack sighed in relief, but slowly walked to his seat, hoping he wasn’t just having a hallucination. As he sat down, Davey turned to him and smiled like he usually did.

Except it was different. It was as if he was faking it. It was the type of smile he’d known Crutchie to give. It seemed happy, but it was somewhere in the opposite direction. Or maybe Jack was just imagining things.

“Hey, where were you at lunch?” he asked.

“Oh, yeah, sorry. I was just helping Katherine out with stuff from the paper.”

Katherine was another one of those people he’d felt he’d disappointed. At least she never wore a fake smile when a smile wasn’t what she was feeling. “Oh, cool. No worries. Just missed you, that’s all.”

Davey didn’t even look up at that, but just gave a quick chortle. It made the smile on Jack’s face falter as he tried to think of something new to talk about.

Throughout the whole class, Davey didn’t talk as much as he usually did. He seemed reserved, almost cold. Every time Jack tried to start a new conversation, it was as if Davey just shut it down. He’d say a few words and then nothing. Jack even tried to make a few jokes and for the first time, Davey didn’t laugh at them. He barely even acknowledged them.

The whole time he just wanted to bring up the subject of the kiss with Sarah, but he couldn’t. He wanted to ask him why he’d never texted back, but he was scared of the answer. He tried to act like everything was normal even though it wasn’t.

Jack tried focusing on his work, but all he could think of was Davey. He kept stealing glances at the taller boy, hoping he’d say something or at least look back at him. Instead, Davey was concentrating hard on his project.

It was a terrible feeling to know that not only your crush, but also one of your best friends, suddenly hated you. Or at least was acting very standoffish. It had happened once before, and it had taken a long time to get over. Jack didn’t want history to repeat itself, but he also didn’t want to push Davey away by saying anything.

After class, Davey smiled again and said goodbye, before quickly leaving to his next class. Jack took his time, trying to process that he was probably losing another friend. He got to his chemistry class and was relieved to see Sarah. She had a genuine smile for him, though it did look awkward.

“Hey there, hot lips,” she said, making him bring his face to his palm in shame, a smile on his face.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have…”

“No, I shouldn’t have.” Jack lowered his hand and saw that Sarah also looked ashamed. “But I did.”

“We did.” She pat the seat next to her for him to sit down, which he did.

“Yes. So…Still friends?”

“Of course. Just friends?”

“Please, Jack. I’m way too out of your league for us to ever be anything more.” She elbowed him lightly in the rib and they both laughed.

The class continued normally, the way Jack wished it had gone the previous period. It was so easy to be around Sarah that he’d almost forgotten about Davey…until she brought him up.

“Hey, how was Dave last period?”

He struggled with what to say. He didn’t want to sound all dramatic, and he knew it wasn’t too bad. He wanted to convey that he seemed off, but instead said, “He hates me.” And tried to laugh it off.

“No, he doesn’t.”

“He does. He totally thinks I’m after you.”

“Ugh, Jack, I’m telling you he doesn’t.”

“He’s playing the big brother role and he doesn’t approve of me, even though I’m not even into you like that.”

“Jack.” Sarah grabbed his face and turned it towards hers, looking him straight in the eyes. Was she going to kiss him again? “He doesn’t hate you. Trust me. It’s the complete opposite.”

“But he was being so weird in class…”

“He’s probably trying to freeze you out so he doesn’t have to think about his own feelings.”

“What feelings?” Feelings? Like…feelings? Friendly feelings? Romantic feelings? Feely feelings?

It was her turn to hesitate. Though she quickly recovered with a sound suggestion. “Talk to him. Like, a real talk. For calling each other best friends, you two don’t communicate well.”

She wasn’t wrong. But it wasn’t an easy task. It was one thing to flirt. It was one thing to draw. It was one thing to talk to Crutchie about his feelings. But to actually talk to Davey? To be vulnerable around him? To let him see his weaknesses and imperfections? That was going to be difficult.

There was a tap at the bedroom window. Jojo didn’t have to look to know who it was. There was only one person who ever tapped on his window anymore. “Hey Race,” he said, as he opened it to let his best friend in.

“Hey,” Race replied. “So you’re in big trouble, huh.”

“How can you tell?”

“You haven’t answered any of your texts. Did you parents take your phone away?”

Jojo picked up his phone to show Race he still had it. “Turned it off. Didn’t feel like talking to anyone.”

“Is that why you weren’t at school today either?”

“I wanted to spend time with my mom and dad but…they were in and out of the house. I don’t think they even noticed I was home.”

“That’s fucked up. Let’s go out.”

Jojo shrugged. “Eh. I don’t really feel like going out.”

“Not even to celebrate? There could be drinks involved…”

A quiet chuckle came out of Jojo as he shook his head. The last thing he needed was to be drinking. The night of the party, after everyone was gone, he couldn’t stop giggling while his parents scolded him. He blamed the alcohol and then laughed even more. “What are we celebrating?”

Race went over to the bed and plopped himself on top, staring at the ceiling with a smile on his face. “Spot kissed me.”

Jojo laughed again, taking a pillow and slamming Race in the face with it. “You dumbass. No, really, what are we celebrating?”

Race snatched the pillow out of Jojo’s hand and hit him right back with it. “No really, Spot Conlon kissed me.”

“Wha?” Jojo was shocked, but he could tell Race wasn’t lying or trying to pull his leg. The only pranks Race tried to pull on Jojo anymore were practical. This was not a joke.

“After the party. I followed him and he kissed me.”

“You followed him? Were you drunk? Was he drunk? Did you put something in his drink?” He knew Race wasn’t the type of person to do that, but he had to ask.

“I mean, I was a little drunk, but I don’t think he was. Well, I think he got drunk on my lips.”

Jojo still didn’t understand, as evident on his face. “So he just kissed you out of nowhere or…what happened?”

“It’s all kind of a blur. We were arguing and then he just pulled me in and we kissed. And it was hot, man. But then…he had to go and be an asshole.”

Jojo raised an eyebrow and bobbed his head forward, questioning Race for more information.

“He almost hit me. And I flinched. And then he ran away.”

“He almost hit you?”

“Yeah, it was like as soon as he realized what he’d done, he was ready to go all…Spot Conlon on me.”

“Well, I mean, you didn’t need to follow him. I’m sure you were being an asshole about it too.”

“Maybe so.” Race sat up and faced Jojo. “But I’m all talk. You know me. He…He scared me. Like, I thought I wasn’t gonna make it home for a second.”

“But he didn’t hit you.”

“No, it’s like he hesitated. Like he realized what he was doing. Like he’d done it before or something. He has done it before though hasn’t he? Beat the shit out of people.”

“I don’t know.”

“But you’d tell me, right?”

“Duh.” Jojo had joined the wrestling team partly because he liked wrestling, but also partly to get to know Spot Conlon and learn if the rumors about him were true. Rumors about how the wrestling team was his gang and how they’d go out and beat people up as a way to practice. But as long as Jojo had been on the team, he hadn’t seen any of that. He figured it was all just talk when he’d heard a false rumor about himself going around. “But remember when people were saying I beat the shit out of Crutchie for talking back to me?”

“Oh yeah. Weren’t you the one that told him he looked like he slept in the street or something?”

“Yeah, something like that.” He’d meant it as a joke. An ice breaker of sorts to talk to a guy he kind of, sort of, maybe had a crush on. He thought it worked because Crutchie then invited him to the LGBTQ+ Club. But they’d been acquaintances at most ever since.

Jojo and Race remained silent as they thought. Jojo about Crutchie, and Race about Spot.

Finally Race spoke. “I think I’m gonna confront him.”

“Who?”

“Spot. I’m gonna give him a piece of my mind. And if he hits me, or threatens to hit me, I’ll just tell him I know he’s gay and that if he keeps being an asshole, I’ll tell everyone.”

Jojo sighed. “That’s fucked up, Race.”

“I wouldn’t actually do it. But he’s probably stupid enough to believe me.”

“That’s still fucked up. Even if he’s gay or bi or whatever, and wasn’t just drunk when he kissed you–”

“He wasn’t. He only had like one beer at the party.”

“Even so,” Jojo continued, “doing that could derail his coming out progress. You could fuck him up even more than he already could be.”

“But he’s Spot Conlon man. He should know he’s influential. If he came out as gay…he’d still be a stud. He’d be like…the gay king of the school. And then he could bang me and I’d be like…”

“The gay queen…”

Race hit him with the pillow again, but then got up and began walking regally back and forth, giving his imaginary audience a cupped wave. “The gay queen. More like the gay side piece.”

“Ooh, can I be the biscuit?”

“Oh honey!” They both giggled and Race glomped Jojo on the bed.

“Look, whatever you decide to do,” Jojo recommended, “tread carefully. He’s my friend too so don’t fuck it up.”

“You got it, Biscuit.” Race hugged Jojo tighter and Jojo reciprocated.

“Alright, you’ve convinced me. Let’s go out and celebrate.”

“Yaaasssss!” Race exclaimed as they both got up. “Are your parents gonna care if you’re gone?”

“They won’t notice. And if they do…well, they won’t care.” It would have been less sad if it wasn’t true. And while Jojo didn’t think getting drunk would be good for him, it was something to do other than staying home and moping around.

The boys climbed out the window Race had come in from. They probably could have gone out the front door, but it was more fun this way. And it helped Jojo imagine what it would be like if his parents actually cared.

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holdenmgrudges · 6 years

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Chapter 8 - Kissies

Wrote a lot for this one. I hope it’s not a let down.

Or read on AO3 if you prefer.

Jojo’s party was not fun for Jack. And the reason for that was Katherine. If she wasn’t there, he wouldn’t feel as guilty. If she wasn’t there, he could relax and have a good time. If she wasn’t there, he could let himself think about Davey and how much he wanted to kiss him. But she was there.

Jojo had invited everyone from the LGBTQ+ Club, and a whole bunch of other people he didn’t know. Jojo seemed to have a lot of friends. Apparently Spot Conlon was one of them. It had been a long time since Jack and Spot had been in the same room together. But even so, Spot was completely ignoring him. And that’s how Jack liked it. Katherine was doing the same, but Jack didn’t like that.

All he wanted was to talk to her, but every time he moved closer, she moved away. All Jack could do was drink and try not to think about her. But he couldn’t stop watching her. Crutchie tried to keep him distracted but it didn’t work. Two lost games of beer pong later, they were feeling the drinks.

And it seemed that so were a few other people. As Jack walked around, he could see Specs and Romeo making out on a bench by the pool, Race and Jojo dancing on a table, and even Sarah doing body shots off of some guy on the wrestling team he didn’t know. Spot was nursing a bottle of beer, though Jack hadn’t been paying enough attention to know if he’d had the same bottle all night. It seemed the only ones who weren’t drinking were Kath and Davey. Typical.

What wasn’t typical is that the two were talking to each other. Davey had told him he’d joined the school paper, but it was weird to see his ex talking with his current crush. And another reason he was distracted.

Before Crutchie could rope him into another game of beer pong, he was happy to see Jojo recruiting people for Seven Minutes in Heaven. He’d finally be able to get some free time away from Kath and Davey. Except when he joined in the circle to spin the bottle, the two of them sat down across from him. Then, from behind them came Crutchie, the obvious schemer who convinced them to participate..

He’d never known Katherine to play such childish games, and Davey just didn’t seem the type. But Crutchie had always gotten along with Katherine, and he was very persuasive. And maybe he just didn’t know Davey like he thought he did. Either way, there they were. His ex, his best friend, and his crush, all sitting across from him. It didn’t help when Crutchie volunteered him to go first.

Jack spun the bottle, hoping it would land on Davey, or at least Crutchie. But of course, when it finally stopped, it was pointed directly at Katherine. And it was too late for both of them to back out. They entered the designated closet and Jojo yelled that he was starting the timer.

Jack and Katherine leaned against opposite sides of the closet, which was dark enough to hide their eyes, but not quiet enough to mask Katherine’s sighs.

Jack spoke first. “So what’d Crutchie say to get you to play this stupid game?”

She sighed again, but replied. “He told me I needed to participate more and assured me I didn’t have to do anything in the closet that I didn’t want to. That the real game took place in the imagination of the other players.”

“What do you think they think we’re doing right now?”

“Probably what we’re doing right now.”

Things got quiet again and Jack wondered how many minutes had gone by. If he had enough time to have an actual conversation with her and tell her how sorry he was, but that their breakup was for the best. She’d never given him the chance to explain, and she probably never would again. It was now or never.

“I’m sorry,” he spoke.

She remained silent.

“I’m sorry for everything. I wish I could redo everything so that I didn’t do what I did to you. But I can’t. I have to live with my mistakes. But I miss you. In more than a physical way. I miss being your friend. I…”

She still wasn’t saying anything, and he wondered if she had fallen asleep or was ignoring him again.

He took a folded sheet of paper from his pocket and held it out for her. For a second, he thought she was ignoring him. That all hope was lost. He and Katherine would never get closure.

But then she took it. She took her phone out and turned on the flashlight to look at the sheet as she unfolded it. She sighed again, but it seemed to be in awe of the drawing.

“Is this...is this the drawing you were doing for your art class?”

“Yeah, how did you…”

“David told me. He...didn’t tell me how beautiful it was.”

“Do you think I captured your beauty?”

“I think you captured beauty and put it on my face. If you don’t get a good grade on this…”

“No, you keep it. This is for you, not for a class.”

“But I can tell you’ve been working for a long time on this. I can’t just take it.”

“Sure you can. It’s complete now. And I can always start something new for art class. That teacher loves me. Keep it Kath.”

She turned the flashlight off and held the drawing to her chest. “Thank you, Jack. I love it.”

“Happy to hear it.”

For a couple of seconds, they were silent again, but then Jack heard a shift and felt Katherine coming close to him. Maybe she was going to hug him, or maybe try to kiss him, or maybe something else. He’d be lying if he said he would have rejected any of her advances. But then the door opened and the lights blinded them for a second. It was Jojo, informing them time was up.

So maybe it wasn’t the best reunion, but he’d talked to her and apologized. If this didn’t affect their relationship positively, nothing would.At least she’d taken his drawing and hadn’t ripped it up like he thought she would.

They exited the closet and he immediately wanted to tell Crutchie and Davey what had happened. They both sat back down in their seat and then Crutchie volunteered to spin the bottle. It spun and spun...and landed on Davey. They both looked at each other, shrugged, and headed to the closet. With no one else in the circle he wanted to stick around for, Jack headed outside to hang out by the pool.

Specs and Romeo were nowhere to be seen, but there were still lots of people outside. Some were in the pool and others in the hot tub, but most were just hanging out like him. He sat on a bench to people-watch and wait for Crutchie or Davey to come to him. Instead, a slightly drunk Sarah sat down next to him.

“Hey, Jacky.” She giggled and he giggled back.

“Hey, Sarah.” He liked Sarah. She was fun to hang around, and though they riled each other up in class, they each brought the other back down to earth sometimes.

“I saw you and Katherine in the closet...Anything happen?” She poked him and he smiled. This was a think they’d been doing as of lately. Teasing each other whenever someone of the opposite sex got too chummy with them. With all the girls that had crushes on Jack and all the guys that had crushes on Sarah, it wasn’t hard.

“No...We just talked. I gave her a drawing.”

Sarah feigned offense and lightly punched him on the arm. “When am I gonna get a drawing?”

“You have to get in the closet with me to get a drawing,” he replied with a laugh.

“I don’t think my brother would like that...Things might happen between us,” she teased.

But all Jack heard was that Davey wouldn’t like that and his thoughts were filled with so many questions. Why didn’t he want anything to happen between him and Sarah? Was it because Davey liked him? Or was it just because he was Davey’s friend? “Why wouldn’t he want things to happen between us?”

She shrugged and put her arms around his neck. “Probably ‘cause I’d take away his best friend.”

“Oh, you think you’d be able to take me away from him?” He was teasing her again; he knew if Davey wanted him, no one would be able to take him away.

“I think given the chance, yeah. But you’re one of the few non-gay boys who wouldn’t give me a chance. It’s kind of odd to me.”

“Well, you’re one of the few non-gay girls who wouldn’t give me a chance, so…”

“Oh, but can’t you see I’m dying for you, Jacky?” she said with a giggle.

He giggled back and put his hands on her waist. “Oh, well why didn’t you say so? We could’ve been the it couple of the school by now.”

“We’d be the envy of all. Jack and Sarah. Jarah they’d call us.”

“Mmm...how romantic.” They laughed once again, this time looking each other in the eyes for a little longer than they usually did. He noticed her look down at his lips and blush slightly as she looked back up. She looked so pretty and they were so close. He felt himself lean closer to her so that their foreheads were touching. And then she closed the gap between their lips.

They kissed for a few seconds of tipsy bliss, but separated when they heard the house music stop. A woman was heard yelling, “Jorgelino Josephino De La Guerra!” But Jack wasn’t worried about that. He was worried about the faces looking at him and Sarah. Crutchie, Katherine, and Davey were all there staring. Why had he done that?

David hadn’t even wanted to go to the party. Not at first at least. But Sarah insisted, since their parents wouldn’t let her go unless he went too. And David knew they only reason they’d said that was because they knew he’d never go to a party.

But then he got to talking to Katherine about the party. She told him she’d only ever gone to one of Jojo’s parties and it wasn’t bad. But she wasn’t going to go to this one. David figured it was because she knew Jack would be there.

That had been one of Sarah’s selling points, but David already knew that, and he didn’t know if he wanted to spend time with a drunk Jack. From what Sarah had told him, drunk people weren’t fun when you were sober. And David didn’t intend to drink.

But he found it fun trying to convince Katherine to go to the party. He never thought she’d agree, but on Friday, a day before the party, she finally said she’d go. Just to get him to stop asking. And so, because Katherine was going, now he had to go.

He didn’t think the party was that great at first. Even though Jack and Crutchie were there, he hadn’t gone to talk to them because he was spending all his time with Katherine. Sarah had gone off on her own to take shots or play beer pong or something. In the back of his mind he could hear his father berating him for not watching over his sister.

He and Katherine kept talking about the paper or English class, and he kept trying to change the subject, but he kept getting distracted by Jack. He couldn’t tell if he was looking at him or at Katherine, but he was definitely staring in their direction. She could probably tell too, because she kept turning around and walking off, expecting him to follow. And David did. He didn’t want to be left alone at the party. And he didn’t want Katherine to leave because she didn’t have anyone to talk to either.

A few hours into the party and Jojo started calling people inside to play Seven Minutes in Heaven. David had heard of this game and seen it several times on screen, so he knew it wasn’t a game for him. Katherine didn’t make a move to go inside either.

“Are you bored?” she asked. “I’m bored. And thirsty. I don’t trust any of the drinks here.”

“I’m sure Jojo has sodas or something. I can go and get you one.”

Katherine made a face like she would rather not. She wasn’t kidding about not trusting any of the drinks.

“But yes, I’m also bored,” he answered.

“Then you should go inside and play the game,” came a voice from behind them. David and Katherine turned around to see Crutchie chugging down whatever was in his red cup. The boy was beyond tipsy. He threw the cup on the ground and then put his arms around the two of them. “C’mon, it’ll be fun.”

“I’d rather not…” David started.

“...It’s not my game,” Katherine continued.

“But you two are bored! And you need to participate more! These are your high school years. You’re never gonna get them back. Kathy, when you’re thirty and taking over the planet like Lois Lane, you’re gonna look back to this day and think, ‘Wow, I’m sure glad I got that out of my system back then.’ And you, Dayvo, when you’re a doctor, or lawyer, or business executive, you’re gonna look back and relive those fun memories so you can healthily get back to your boring job.”

Katherine and David looked at each other, not sure if they should go through with it. Was this what peer pressure felt like?

“Think of this as one of those trust exercises in the queer club,” Crutchie went on. “Trust me. You’ll be fine. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want when you’re in the closet. Most people don’t even talk. Besides, the real game is played after you leave the closet. The people outside wonder what went on inside, but you have the power. Only you know what happened, and you can hold that over them. And they can wonder what went on inside.”

Katherine sighed and shrugged at David. Okay, so they were doing this. He was going to play his first game of Seven Minutes in Heaven.

They sat down opposite Jack, who was the first to spin the bottle. He half hoped it would land on him, though if it did, he didn’t know what they would do in that closet. But it landed on Katherine.

He hoped they’d have a nice talk and that they could get along again. The more friends in their group, the better. They returned and he saw Katherine had a drawing in her hand. The one from art class that Jack had spent weeks working on. He hoped that was a good sign.

Then it was Crutchie’s turn to spin. He watched the bottle spin that he didn’t realize at first that it had stopped on him. He looked at Crutchie and they shrugged.

Once inside the closet, Crutchie leaned against the wall opposite him. David was nervous, though he didn’t know why.

“So, Davey, do you wanna make out?” Crutchie ran the bottom of his crutch up the bottom of David’s leg seductively. The taller boy shivered.

Crutchie wasn’t ugly. He was actually pretty cute. It was a wonder David hadn’t thought of him in that way before. He wouldn’t have minded making out with Crutchie.

“Relax, I’m just joking. We can just stand here and talk. Like normal.”

“Okay, that sounds good.” He tried to relax, but he could feel Crutchie’s eyes on him. Did he want him to make a move? Or was he really just joking? He told himself this would be the first and last time he played this stupid game.

“I’ve been watching you, Dave.”

David remained silent. Was Crutchie about to confess something?

“Like the way you’ve been acting around Jack lately.”

Or maybe he was going to accuse him of something.

“Like you’re trying to act normal, but in doing so you look less normal.”

Was he that see-through? Or was it just that Crutchie was aware of things other people weren’t?

“You have a thing for Jack, don’t you?”

David could feel himself going red, but he still didn’t say anything. If he said no, he’d be lying. And if he said yes...He didn’t know what would happen if he said yes.

“It’s okay, man. You wouldn’t be the first...”

They were both quiet for a second. The way Crutchie trailed off seemed odd to David. Like he was trying to communicate something. Of course he wasn’t the first to like Jack. There had been Katherine, and other girls at school he’d always seen flirting with Jack. But the way Crutchie said it...sounded almost sad. As if Crutchie had missed out. As if Crutchie was always there, watching and waiting and… “Crutchie, you have a thing for Jack too don’t you?”

A quiet laugh escaped Crutchie’s mouth. “Too?”

“You’re always with him. You’re always so touchy-feely...Why aren’t you two together?”

“Too…” Crutchie repeated. “You gave yourself away.”

He had. But now he knew Crutchie was in the same boat, which made him feel better. And worse at the same time. Because if Crutchie has the same feelings for Jack, then he had even less of a chance than he had before.

“We can’t be together,” Crutchie said after a moment of silence. “For many reasons.”

“What’s the best one?”

“Same as the worst one.”

“Tell me.”

“How many minutes are left?”

“I need to know. I need a reason to stop having a thing for him.”

Crutchie sighed. “His relationships never last. He always does something to ruin them. Which is why nothing can happen between us. Because if he breaks my heart, then I’ll have no one. So I’d rather be in love with my best friend and know nothing can happen, than be with him for a short time and lose him forever.”

Seconds later, the door opened and they left the closet. David still had Crutchie’s words in his head. It seemed like a flawed way to think about Jack. While that might’ve been enough for Crutchie, it wasn’t enough for him. It just made him want to know about all of Jack’s relationships and everything he’d done. He just couldn’t imagine Jack doing anything so terrible.

“I promise I won’t say anything,” he told Crutchie and the other boy nodded back.

They saw that Jack and Katherine weren’t playing the game anymore and decided to go look for them outside. They reached the backyard and David saw Jack talking with Sarah. He nudged Crutchie to point at them and then something unexpected happened. Jack and Sarah kissed.

So there they were, two guys with a thing for Jack Kelly, watching Jack Kelly have a thing with someone else. David didn’t know how to feel. Jealous, angry, sad.

He looked down at Crutchie and saw something different. Something hollow, like he’d seen this several times and wasn’t bothered by it. Like he was blocking his feelings out so that he didn’t have to go through heartbreak. And he was a pro at it.

He looked back at his sister and his best friend, too distracted to even notice the commotion going on inside the house that finally made Jack and Sarah part lips. They looked up and saw them staring back. He wanted to go home.

Spot didn’t want to see Race. But at the same time he did. He just wanted to stare at the other boy from afar, though he knew that was weird and stalkerish. He knew after what had happened with them, he had to stay away. The closer he got to Race, the more tempted he was.

Then there was the party. He could have not showed up. He’d told Jojo he was going, but he didn’t have to. He could’ve made up some excuse like he’d fallen asleep or he was on a date. Except Sarah was going to be there too. They still hadn’t even gone on a date.

But he wasn’t doing anything that night and he’d accidentally answered when Jojo had called him, so he had to go. A bunch of the guys on the wrestling team were at the party, so at least he had people to be around. He didn’t talk much, and he grabbed a beer so he’d have something to drink whenever people did try to talk to him.

Jack and his friend with the crutch were hogging the beer pong table, so he couldn’t distract himself with a game. Sarah was having fun drinking so he didn’t want to disturb her. Jojo was being social and going from group to group being a great host. And then he saw Race.

The blond was in the pool, playing with a beach ball and some other people he didn’t know. Spot took in Race’s body and then turned away. He immediately wanted to look again, but he knew that was a bad idea. He decided to go inside instead, and see if anyone could distract him with a conversation.

This worked for a while, until he saw Race come inside the house. Jojo immediately scolded him for getting water in the house, but then Race pointed out another person who was spilling liquid in the kitchen. Spot would’ve laughed, but he remembered he was supposed to be staying away from Race. It didn’t help that Race hadn’t put a shirt on. Once again, Spot had to leave the room.

He went upstairs where several people were making out in the hallways and the bedrooms, except Jojo’s. Spot saw there was a sign on the door that said, DO NOT ENTER, and when he tried to open it, it was locked. He walked back down the hall and saw Race at the top of the stairs. Was he following him? Without even acknowledging him, he walked past the boy and down the stairs. Then he looked up to see that Race was watching him.

Spot went outside to look for Sarah. At least she could distract him. When he finally found her, she was doing body shots off of one of his teammates. He wondered how much liquor she’d had and how much more she could hold. She was starting to worry him, but he didn’t want to be the one to ruin her fun. Didn’t she have a brother to look after her? He’d never officially met the guy, but he’d seen him a few times when he dropped Sarah off, so he knew what he looked like.

He started to look for him when he caught a glimpse of Race. He was back outside, this time with Jojo, and they were dancing on a table. Race still didn’t have a shirt on, which was starting to annoy him. He turned around to go towards the pool but was shocked to see two guys making out. It was as if the universe was telling him he needed to leave. And then Jojo started running around telling people he was starting a game of Seven Minutes in Heaven. Yep, that was definitely his cue to leave.

“Hey, Jo, I’m heading out,” he told him when Jojo finally got around to him.

“No, come on!” Spot could tell Jojo was a little drunk. He grabbed onto Spot’s arm and gave him a sad puppy look. “Play with us. I promise it’ll be fun.”

“I don’t like that game, Jo. I’m better off just going. I’m not having a good time, anyway.”

Jojo’s puppy pout turned into an genuine frown and he nodded. “Alright, Spot. You don’t have to stay. Sorry, you’re not enjoying yourself.”

“Hey, it’s a great party nonetheless. I’m just not in the mood for it tonight.”

Jojo nodded and then went back to recruiting people for the game.

Spot saw Race going to join, or maybe seeing if Spot was going to join. But he wasn’t going to be roped into sharing a closet with Race. He walked in the opposite direction and sneaked into the bathroom. He peed and washed his hands, looking into the mirror. He wondered what it was that made it obvious to Race. Was it the way he acted? The way he spoke? He wanted to pinpoint it so he could suppress it. He had to be as straight as possible.

After sulking in his own thoughts, he exited the restroom and headed to the front door. As he passed by the living room, he saw the game of Seven Minutes in Heaven had already started. He saw Jack and the newspaper girl coming out of the closet and imagined himself in there with Race. He didn’t know if he would be able to control himself. Race, however, was not sitting in the circle where the others were playing. Where was he?

His question was answered when he went out the front door. He didn’t know if Race was waiting for him or not, but he was standing there on the porch, but with a t-shirt on. Again, ignoring him, he walked past.

“Spot wait.”

He paused without turning around, waiting to see what Race wanted. He half-wished he’d just kept on walking, but he was curious.

“Look, I’m sorry.” Race walked over and stood next to him. Spot looked straight ahead, though he could see Race had his head down. “I’m sorry I tried to kiss you and I’m sorry I made things weird. Jojo helped me see I was being unreasonable and that...well, that I need to not come on so strong with all my feelings.”

Spot remained silent. He hadn’t expected this at all. Had that been the reason why Race had followed him all night? Just to be the bigger man and apologize? He tried replaying the whole night over, to try to make sense of it all. Race had probably just been trying to get up the courage to talk to him.

“I just want to be friends and get past all this,” Race said.

And that would’ve been fine. Spot could have lived with that. Except, he’d gone the whole night thinking Race wanted something more from him. That Race wanted to seduce him and get him into a closet and kiss him. And the fact was that somewhere inside him, Spot wanted it to happen. It was wishful thinking. And he knew that the more time he spent with Race, especially now that he knew he was gay, the more wishful thinking he’d do. And he couldn’t have that.

“I’m sorry, Higgins, but I can’t be friends with you,” he said. “I can’t be friends with a gay guy.” And he couldn’t tell him the reasons behind it. He couldn’t admit that to anyone.

Race scoffed and then spit at Spot’s shoes. “Fuck you Conlon, you homophobic prick. I thought you were better than that but I guess the fuck not.” He turned to walk away but then turned back. “You know, actually? I feel sorry for you. Because at least I can be out and proud, but you, you’ll never be happy living in that closet of yours. You’re just gonna fester and affect all the people around you...No, I feel more sorry for them. Because you at least have a chance to be honest with yourself. Asshole.”

Spot just nodded. Race could spout whatever he wanted, but he wasn’t going to let it get to him. If he had to be honest, he hated himself. It wasn’t just the gay thing. It was several things. Several things he didn’t want to think about at that moment, because if he did, he might just lose himself and his composure. Luckily, his thoughts were interrupted by a car coming in the driveway.

“Oh shit,” he heard Race say. “Shit, that’s Jojo’s parents. They’re not supposed to be here. And Jojo isn’t supposed to be having a party.”

At this, Spot turned around and began to run back to the house. “We have to warn him, then.” They ran back in just as the next couple was getting out of the closet. Sarah’s brother and the crutch boy. Spot didn’t stop long enough to think about what they could’ve been doing in the closet, and instead just went over directly to Jojo.

“Jo, your parents are here,” Race told him immediately.

“What? Shit.”

“Yeah, shit,” Race repeated.

Jojo’s face went from shocked to analytical to mischievous, and then shrugged. “Oh well, too late to kick everyone out.”

Race looked over to Spot, but Spot just shook his head. If Jojo didn’t want to do anything, he couldn’t make him do anything. Besides, his parents were moments from walking in through the front door so there wasn’t much they could do anyway.

Spot looked toward the front door and saw the handle turning. He decided at that moment to run to the back yard. He didn’t feel like seeing Jojo get in trouble. When he got there, he saw Sarah with Jack, and suddenly remembered he was going to tell her brother to watch over her. But then they kissed. Despite having seen that gay couple making out earlier, this was more shocking.

He remembered that she’d told him she knew Jack. He just hadn’t known that there was something going on between them. Back in the house, he heard a woman yelling out Jojo’s full name, and that snapped Spot back to Earth. It was time for him to leave. For real this time.

He left through the back and beat the rush, running for a few minutes. Then he let himself relax. He didn’t know what to think about Sarah and Jack. He couldn’t exactly be jealous, since they still hadn’t even gone on a date. But he was irked that she hadn’t told him there was someone else. He felt like he was wasting him time.

And then he felt bad for thinking that. Because he didn’t want Sarah to just a means to an end, and Spot couldn’t help but feel that that’s what she was for him. Maybe Race was right. He would fester and affect the people around him. And he’d end up hurting Sarah one way or another. He didn’t want that. She didn’t deserve that.

“Hey, I wasn’t fucking done with you!”

Spot turned around and saw Race running toward him. How hadn’t he noticed that Race was following him?

“You didn’t let me finish telling you how much of an asshole you are.”

“Higgins, stop,” Spot said, as Race finally caught up.

“No, you’re gonna let me finish, because you need to know how wrong you are and how problematic you’re being!”

“Higgins…”

“Shut the fuck up and listen here.” Race was getting too close now. Spot could almost feel his warm breath on his face. He backed up, but Race just got closer. He had to push Race back. “Don’t fucking push me.”

“Higgins, you need to stop now, or else…”

“Or else?” Race looked amused. “Or else, what?” He only kept getting closer.

“Or else I’ll…” Spot grabbed a fistful of Race’s shirt and pushed him against a nearby wall. He was angry, but once he looked into the other boy’s eyes, he forgot what he was supposed to be doing.

Race's eyes traveled down to Spot's lips, while he licked his own. Spot noticed this and at that moment their eyes were drawn back to each other. Spot's brown eyes looked back and forth between Race's blue ones until he couldn't take it anymore.

Spot kissed Race, taking a deep breath as he did so. Spot still had one hand ahold of Race's shirt. The other traveled to his waist. Race's hands grabbed onto Spot's hair, pulling his head closer toward him. It had only taken that for Spot's tongue to enter Race's mouth, and for Race's tongue to meet it and attempt to fend it off, to no avail. Finally, Race's lips took hold of Spot's lower and he sucked on it, until the two boys were able to separate.

Spot's eyes flew open and he was once again staring into deep blue. Race had a smile on his face, but Spot looked confused. And angry. Not at Race, but at himself. He'd kissed a boy. Again. And not the same way he'd ever kissed a girl. No, this was intense, like a craving, not something that felt necessary.

Spot noticed he still had a fistful of Race's shirt, and unclenched in order to take a step back. He wanted to do it again, but he also wanted to run home and hide. He looked around to see if anyone had witnessed. And then he looked back at Race, and took another step back. “Don’t...Race, don’t kiss me again.”

Race smirked at him and responded, “You’re the one that kissed me, dumbass. And boy, was it hot.”

“Shut up.”

“I wouldn’t mind if you kissed me again.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“Mmm kiss me again and I will.”

“Goddamnit HIggins, will you stop saying that?”

“Grab my shirt again; it turned me on.”

“SHUT. UP.” Spot clenched his right hand into a fist and raised it up, thrusting it toward Race’s face. The other boy flinched and closed his eyes, turning his head and raising his hands to shield himself. He let out a small whimper. Before Spot’s hand could make contact, he stopped. What was he doing? Was he really going to do this again? No, he couldn’t.

Race opened his eyes and looked at Spot, but Spot was already running off. There were only two options he saw if he stayed. Either he would kiss Race, or beat him up. And he didn’t want to do that. So he ran home, crawled into bed, and cried himself to sleep.

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holdenmgrudges · 6 years

Text

Chapter 7 - Friendsies

And here’s the second promised chapter. More to come soon. The next one will be a bit more fun.

Or read on AO3 if you prefer.

He wanted to be subtle about it, but Spot just couldn’t think about how to ask her. He was walking Sarah home and they were talking about their days. Or rather, Sarah was talking and Spot was trying to bring up the subject on his mind.

“What’s on your mind?” she asked him suddenly.

He must have been obviously distracted. He stayed silent for a few seconds but decided to just come out with it. “Where are we headed?” In a very vague way.

“To my house?” The confused look she gave him almost made him laugh.

“I mean, you and me. Like, is this going anywhere? Are you and me gonna be a thing?”

“Oh.” They were both silent now, as she thought. Spot couldn’t help but feel that he could have done a better job bringing it up. He hadn’t meant to sound so presumptuous. “Well, we could be.”

“I mean, if you don’t want to…” Spot felt like there was something off. Like they were being too formal. There was no passion behind it. But he was a guy and Sarah was a girl and he felt that inevitably something would have to happen between them. At least that’s what his mother always told him.

Sarah hesitated again and sighed. “Can I tell you something in confidence?”

“Sure, yeah.” He looked her in the eyes to let her knew she had his full attention. It was funny how easily he could look Sarah in they eyes, when every time he tried that with Race, he had to look away.

“I’ve...never gone out with any guys.”

Spot raised an eyebrow. Was she telling him something? Was she confessing that she was...gay?

“I’ve been asked out many times,” she continued, “but I’ve never said yes. I just...I don’t know. Maybe I’m scared or maybe I just don’t feel it.”

“You don’t feel it?”

“I’ve never felt it.”

Spot could definitely relate. He’d been out on a few dates, but had also never felt it. Whatever it was. Whatever he felt whenever he was around Race.

“But maybe that’s normal, right? Like how people say they can feel the presence of God, even though it’s not actually a feeling? It’s just something you say, not something you actually physically feel. Maybe it’s like that. It’s not something you’re supposed to physically feel, but just something you say you do.”

Spot perked up at this. He felt like Sarah was describing him and his own feelings. She understood what he was going through. “Right. And even though you don’t feel it right away, you could grow to feel it. Like, how you can’t just fall in love right away, but you can fall in love over time.”

“Exactly!” She smiled at him, and for a second, Spot thought he felt something. Not sexual attraction, but something that could possibly grow into that. He felt like he could love her someday. That he could satisfy her and himself. That he could make his mother proud and live the normal life he’d always dreamed of.

“So...will you go out with me?” There was a more proper question that could have started this conversation.

“Okay, Spot Conlon. I’ll go out with you.” They smiled at each other.

“Cool.” Just as he said that, they reached her house. She waved goodbye and went in.

So that was it. They were dating. No actual date yet. No plans of going on one. No physical contact or attraction. No romantic feelings of any sort.

He turned to head home. He still had a smile on his face, thinking about what a success the conversation had been. He’d been worried for nothing. And now he knew that Sarah had similar feelings as he did. They’d make a great couple.

But what if they didn’t? Spot’s mood flipped as he thought about what it would mean to date Sarah. Because what if it wasn’t true? What if he never did grow to love her? And worse, if she did? What if he could never get all the gay thoughts out of his head and he just had to lead a life of lies and unfulfillment? He couldn’t do that. Especially not to Sarah.

His thoughts wandered off to all the things he’d heard before. That it was okay to be gay. Except, he didn’t feel like it was. It didn’t come from a place of religion, like a lot of homophobia did. It came from how he was raised.

His mother had always taught him that men were supposed to be with women. That people weren’t born gay, they learned it through manipulation and deceit. That if men were supposed to be with men, and women with women, nature would’ve found a way for them to procreate. That even if you had those thoughts, it was the action of homosexuality that was unforgivable. And those were just things his mother had said in passing.

As far as Spot knew, she didn’t suspect him of being gay. Though she did occasionally tell him to change a shirt because it looked ‘faggy’ on him. Or that only gay boys dye their hair. Or that if she had a gay kid, she’d kick him out.

It made Spot sad, but she wasn’t a bad woman. He knew she loved him. She took care of him when he was sick. She made his favorite food when she could tell he had a bad day. She watched all his favorite shows with him. She was practically his best friend. She was his mom and he loved her. He had to make her proud.

Spot got home and as he entered, his mom called to him from the kitchen. She’d made steak and potatoes. His favorite. Somehow she always knew when he needed cheering up. He ate cheerily and then they went into the living room to watch Netflix. Yeah, he had to make his mom proud and be the best little man he could for her.

No matter how unhappy it made him.

Katherine sat in English class, nervous about her exam grade. She was a perfectionist and ever since she decided to give up her social life, her only focus was her school life. Except, she hadn’t been doing as well as before. She was starting to think that having a social life helped her de-stress. Or at least helped her think better.

After what felt like forever, their teacher finally started handing back their results. She took a deep breath when she got hers. She stared down at the upside-down test, crossed her fingers, and prayed to whatever entity was watching over her that she’d gotten an A. Then she turned it over and exhaled. It was an A...minus.

Katherine nodded to herself. It was still a good grade. Still an A. She told herself she could do better, but that for now it was good enough. Maybe an extra hour of reading every night would help her out.

When the bell rang to let class out, she took her time collecting her things. She’d grown fond of the idea that the rest of the world would have to wait for her. From the back of the class, David came walking to exit through the front. She’d gotten used to saying hi to him every class. He seemed like a nice guy, and what he was doing for the LGBTQ+ Club was admirable.

She waved at him and as he waved back and smiled, he dropped his test grade. She bent down to pick it up and couldn’t help but sneak a peek at the grade. It was an A...plus.

And suddenly she was so curious by it. She wanted to read his answers and the short essays and wanted to know what had separated her minus from his plus. Who was this boy and where did he come from?

“Here you go,” she said, as she handed the test over. “Congrats on the grade.”

“Thanks,” he responded, shrugging, trying to play it off as not a big deal. But to her it was. “It’s nothing compared to your articles in the paper.”

“Modesty…is not a quality I would’ve pinned on one of Jack Kelly’s friends.”

“Uhh…” He shrugged again, clearly not knowing how to respond to that.

“Maybe you should join the paper.” She finished putting away her stuff and picked up her bag. “You’ve got to be a great writer to get that grade on the test.”

“You know, I’ve been considering it,” David said, following her out of the classroom. “My sister wants me to join.”

“Your sister?”

“Sarah.”

Her interest piqued even more. “David Jacobs...Sarah Jacobs...Huh. How did I not catch that?”

“Everyone seems surprised to learn we’re twins.”

“Well, you are different sexes.”

He nodded, as if she’d just pointed out something obvious. “Right.”

“Well, we meet after school in the computer lab if you do decide to join. But we do require some writing samples, just to see what you can write.”

He handed his test over to her. “Consider this my uh...application?”

“Will do, David, thanks,” she said, glad he’d taken the bait. They separated as they each headed to their next class. She skimmed through the test as she walked, focusing in on his writing. He wasn’t the best with words, but he had some great ideas.

After school rolled along and Katherine was surprised to see David was the first one at the computer lab. She took his exam out of her bag and handed it back. “You’re hired,” she said with a smile..

He smiled back, with a small laugh. “No interview?”

“In my paper, we let the writing do the talking.” She sat down at her usual computer and he sat next to her. “It’s still early in the week, so I can still assign you something if you’d like.”

“Might as well give it a try.”

“Good answer.” They discussed ideas for an article, and by the time they’d finished, Denton had arrived with Bill and Darcy. Sarah was the last one to get there, and looked surprised to see her brother.

“I’m joining the paper,” he told her and she nodded quietly. Katherine couldn’t tell if she was pleased or not, but she got to her work quickly, while Denton gave David a tour.

After, Denton had David sit next to Katherine to help her. She found that he was easy to talk to. He was quiet, but spoke up when he had something to say. If she ever did pick up a social life again, she would consider it for him. He seemed like one of those people she could just naturally be friends with. No hassle, no drama, like any good friendship was.

And then the conversation shifted onto Jack. He’d just mentioned him casually and she’d rolled her eyes.

“What’d he do to you?”

She quickly side eyed him, but he looked as if he knew he shouldn’t have asked her that. It was almost cute how sorry he looked.

“Sorry, nevermind.”

She focused intently on her computer screen, but for some reason she felt bad. “So he hasn’t told you?”

He looked surprised at her question. “No. All I know is you two dated and then...you broke up. He looks guilty around you, and you look angry around him so...Obviously he did something to you. But it’s none of my business.”

“You’re right. It isn’t.” She couldn’t concentrate on whatever she was trying to do on the computer.

“But I do know he wants things to be better between you two.”

She gave him a look that told him to go on.

“I’m probably not supposed to tell you this, but he’s drawing a portrait of you for his art class.”

She wasn’t impressed and let David know as much.

“The trust exercises in the LGBTQ+ Club are partly to help you two get to a better place. I think he just wants you to be friends again.”

“Well you can tell him I’ve moved on,” she finally spoke. “Maybe not as quickly as he tends to do, but I have.”

“As he tends to do?”

Maybe she just wanted to add fuel to the fire, because she was still upset over Jack. Maybe she just wanted a way to end the conversation. She couldn’t properly think. “That boy moves on quickly. And vastly. Girls, boys...He can’t help it. That’s why he and I never worked. So I’m glad it’s over, but I don’t want to be his friend. I don’t want to be his anything.”

“Sounds fair,” he said, with a sense of understanding. He looked down at his notebook, where he’d been writing down ideas. She immediately felt bad about her words, but she wasn’t going to bring the subject back up.

She turned and saw Sarah watching them, though not within hearing distance. They smiled at each other and then looked away. Katherine wondered why she was constantly sabotaging her friendships. She needed to stop.

“I just hate him!” Jojo wasn’t particularly listening to what Race was saying. It was just a rehashing of what he’d been telling him for the past few days. He focused on driving. They were headed to his place to have some drinks and do homework. “Did you see him in class? He completely ignored me. Like if I wasn’t there. Like if I hadn’t helped improve his grades. Like...like an asshole.”

Spot hadn’t ignored Jojo, however. He’d asked him for help and Jojo did. He’d already told Race that he was Switzerland on the whole subject. On the one hand, Spot’s comments were homophobic, but on the other hand, Race did try to kiss him. And he’d made that stupid gay bet, which Jojo had half a mind to remind him about. But he didn’t think either of his friends was a bad guy so he remained neutral.

“This is why I hate straight guys. If he even is straight. You make one little gay mistake and then they pretend like you never existed. Or like you’re the second coming of the plague. Their fragile masculinity gets the better of them and they reveal their true homophobic colors.”

“Think about the situation though.” Apparently, Jojo couldn’t remain neutral for long. He really just wanted to shut Race up about it. Which he did, in waiting for an explanation. “You wanted to prove that he was gay, and now that you have an answer, and you don’t like it, you don’t have a right to be upset.”

“That’s now what this is about! I’m fine that he’s straight. I don’t care. It’s the fact that he called me - my gayness - my pride and joy - a...lifestyle. As if that wasn’t offensive.”

“I mean, it is kind of a lifestyle.”

“Jojo, what?”

“Not the being gay part,” he quickly told him. “But you are very extra sometimes in the way you carry yourself. I mean, you just called your homosexuality your pride and joy.” Before Race could interrupt, he continued. “And your lifestyle is currently boning any guy you can, or making bets with me about who is gay. There’s nothing wrong with any of that, but you can’t say that’s not a way of living. I mean, look at me.”

They remained quiet as they drove. Jojo could see Race turn to him from the corner of his eye. “There’s nothing wrong with being a virgin either,” Race replied.

“I know, but to say that you and I don’t carry different lifestyles is wrong.”

“Okay, but we weren’t comparing lifestyles, Jo. He was saying homosexuality as a whole was a lifestyle. I can get whoredom and virtue are different, but straight and gay? It’s just who you love. And love is a lifestyle.”

“You don’t love, Race.”

Another pause. “I love you. Maybe not in a gay way, but you know I love you like a brother.”

“I know, Race. I love you too. But face it. This whole thing with Spot was all a game for you. You wanted to out him for a bet.”

“I wouldn’t have outed him to his parents or people at school or whatever. Just to me. Just to have a bit of fun.”

“Yeah, fun.”

Race looked down at his lap, as Jojo turned into his driveway. He parked the car and turned it off, but neither of them moved.

“Look, Race, if you want I can try talking to him. We can all get together and hash this out. I’m sure it’s just a misunderstanding waiting to be resolved.”

“Why are straight guys so frustrating?”

“Fragile masculinity.”

They both laughed. Jojo took his keys and opened the car door to get out. Race did the same. Minutes later they were in Jojo’s room listening to music. Race made Jojo put on their Broadway playlist because they needed “all the gay muses.”

“Fragile masculinity is right,” Race then said, unprovoked.

Jojo was laying on his floor with his hands behind his head. He looked up at Race questioningly. The other boy was sitting on the bed, looking like he was thinking hard.

“Think about it. He totally wanted to kiss me back.”

“Race, what?”

“You weren’t there, but he totally did. He was staring into my eyes. He was talking to me about unwanted thoughts. What if they were gay thoughts? Yeah…”

Jojo rolled his eyes. He guessed Race didn’t want to patch things up with Spot. He’d just have to remain Switzerland between them for the rest of their lives.

“He’s gay, Jo. He just has a fragile masculinity and he doesn’t want to admit it. He said being gay was a lifestyle. What if he thinks that being straight is the lifestyle he needs, when being gay is the lifestyle he actually is?”

“I thought gay wasn’t a lifestyle?”

“No, it’s not. But in Spot’s mind it is. And he doesn’t want to live that life ‘cause he’s in denial! Because he’s gay. And he wanted to kiss me. That makes sense, right?”

“Sure, Race. Sure.” He was tired of being on the subject.

“I just have to make him see sense. I have to out him to himself.”

“I’m sure if he’s actually gay, he already knows.”

“Yes, Jo, he has gay thoughts, but someone needs to show him that it’s okay. That he doesn’t need to hang on to the idea of straight. That there are other options. That he can be happy.”

“And what if you’re wrong? What if he is straight? And you’re just thinking wishfully?”

“Then he needs to learn that being gay is okay. That even if he does think it’s a lifestyle, that it’s a good lifestyle. But I’m not thinking wishfully. He’s gay, Jojo. My gaydar has never been off.”

It was true, but Jojo still wasn’t sure. “Even if he is gay, what are you going to do to help him?”

“I’m gonna...I don’t know.”

“And if he’s ignoring you at school, what makes you think he’ll give you a chance to talk to him?”

“I don’t know. I need to find a way to trap him or something.”

“That sounds highly problematic.”

“I need your help. You said you wanted us to talk. So get us to talk. Lock us in a closet or something…”

“Lock you in a closet?”

“Yes, so I can help him...come out...of the closet. Get it?”

“You’re an idiot.” But then Jojo had a thought. It was a selfish thought, but one that could work for both of them. “What if we have a party?”

“Jo, yes! I like this idea! Tell me more.”

“We can play seven minutes in heaven. I’ll make him come, you can be here, and you two can literally be locked in a closet. It’s still highly problematic, but maybe with some drinks in him, he can come out or whatever…”

“You think so?”

“And with some drinks in you, you can come to your senses…”

“Let’s do it this weekend. Your parents are away. Your liquor has been restocked. You’re clearly dying to do it.”

“Alright, Race. Let’s have a party.”

“Fuck yeah!” They high-fived before Race pulled Jojo up so they could dance. They were going to have a great weekend.

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holdenmgrudges · 6 years

Text

Chapter 6 - Crushsies

I have returned with not just one chapter, but two. Here is the first.

Or read on AO3 if you prefer.

Ever since their sleepover, David just couldn’t think straight. When he wasn’t thinking about school, he was thinking about Jack. But they weren’t all good thoughts. In fact, he’d been making a pro-con list in his head about Jack. Not that it helped. Either way he was still thinking about him. And it was driving him crazy. David hated getting crushes. Especially on his friends.

The next time they met was at school during lunch. He sat with Jack and Crutchie as was usual, but he wasn’t really into the conversation. This happened every so often. Sometimes he listened and remained quiet. Sometimes he participated. On this day, he was in his head. He wasn’t even paying attention to what the other two were talking about.

The first pro on David’s list was that Jack was a nice guy. The most obvious reason was that his best friend was disabled. Though being friends with a disabled person didn’t automatically make you a nice person. It was Jack’s friendship with Crutchie that attracted him to Jack. He was always very protective of Crutchie, even when Crutchie told him to stop. If David hadn’t gotten to know them well, he would’ve thought they were dating. It didn’t help that they were very physically close.

David watched as Crutchie put his bad leg to rest on Jack’s lap. Jack just accepted it like it was no big deal. Like it was just an extent of his body. He let his hands rest on Crutchie’s ankle as they continued talking. David wished for a second that he was Crutchie’s leg.

He had to mentally shake his head. He had to remember that Jack was a friend and wanting anything more from him would spell disaster. That was his first con. It was bad enough that David had a crush on a guy. Not because he thought it was a bad thing, but because same-sex relationships in high school just seemed that much harder to start. It was lucky that David at least knew Jack was bi. But it was unlucky that he was one of his close friends.

This started a what-if chain in his brain. What if things went bad for them? What if Jack didn’t like him in that way and things were awkward for them from then on? What if Jack did like him, and they got together, but then they broke up? Crutchie would surely be on Jack’s side, so he wouldn’t just lose one friend, but two. What if the crush he had just passed? That was preferable to David, but he didn’t know how to get that going.

Jack and Crutchie laughed about something. Part of David wanted to know what, but his mind was too busy. Jack leaned forward and began to doodle on a piece of paper. David was distracted from his thoughts for a minute as he watched him draw. He wondered how he’d gotten so good at it so young, and thought about how if he really wanted to, Jack could be a great artist someday.

That was pro number two. Not just that Jack’s art was beautiful, but the fact that Jack knew what he wanted to do. He’d told David he wanted to move to a small town and just make art. He didn’t even want to do it for the money. He didn’t even want to be famous. In a world full of YouTube and reality tv stars, David found that refreshing. The way Jack said it, he didn’t sound like any of those pretentious artists who stated they wanted the same things when in reality just didn’t want people to think otherwise. The difference was that those artists wanted something other than what they said they wanted, while Jack seemed like he actually did want it..

But that brought up another issue. Because what if David didn’t want the same things? He’d just come from a small town where he hadn’t found much joy. Whereas now, he at least had friends and the LGBTQ+ Club. He wasn’t like Sarah who wanted to go to the big city, but he didn’t want to go back either. And if that’s what Jack was going for, then any possible long term relationship between him and David was doomed. And that was con number two.

David looked away from Jack’s drawing, trying to keep himself in check. His eyes found Crutchie’s, who seemed to be watching him with curiosity. David looked away and took a sip of the juice box he’d been playing with. He looked down at his food, a sandwich and an unopened bag of chips. He’d been so caught up in his thoughts he’d forgotten to eat.

He opened the chips and offered some to the boys. Jack put his pencil down to grab a chip. David watched as Jack put the chip up to his mouth, his tongue darting out a bit. He couldn’t help but watch Jack’s jaw line as he chewed, and his Adam’s apple when he swallowed. It really didn’t help that Jack was extremely good looking. Pro number three.

David forced himself to look away and once again crossed paths with Crutchie’s eyes. This time it was Crutchie that looked away. Not in the embarrassed, slightly awkward way that David had earlier, but with a sense of satisfaction. It was as if Crutchie had been staring at him with suspicion and he’d gotten the answer he was looking for. David wondered what that was about, as he ate his sandwich.

It also gave him a chance to think of his third con. The whole Katherine ordeal. David didn’t mind that Jack didn’t want to talk about it. It was none of his business, after all. It was just the fact that whenever it was brought up, Jack looked really guilty. And Katherine just seemed so angry. It made David think that Jack did something really awful to her. And if he had done something so awful to Katherine, it meant that he was capable of doing something as awful to him. And if that was the case, he didn’t ever want to find out what it was.

Still, he couldn’t help his feelings. Somehow, the pros outweighed the cons, but it didn’t mean he was ready to do anything about it. He needed a second opinion. Maybe even a third opinion. And with the way that Crutchie was looking at him, he thought maybe he’d be the first to talk to about all of this. After all, he was the closest person to Jack. Maybe talking to Sarah would also help. He just wanted to be able to think properly again.

“Hey, we should all go out and celebrate.” It was a Friday afternoon, and Katherine had already given out the assignments. Sarah didn’t feel like going home right away and Spot had texted her earlier that practice was going to run late.

“What are we celebrating?” Katherine asked immediately. “Is it your birthday?” She seemed curious, but not really concerned, seeing as how they only hung out after school.

“No, but we should celebrate another successful paper!”

“Why? We come out with one every week. That’s no reason to celebrate.”

“Sure it is. We don’t have to celebrate every week, but I think every once in awhile we should give ourselves a pat on the back.”

“That sounds like a good idea, Katherine,” Mr. Denton said from his desk. “You kids work hard all week. You deserve to relax.”

Sarah smiled at their advisor. The truth was that Sarah wanted to hang out with Katherine outside the paper. Get to know her better. She had Jack and Spot as friends, but she needed a girl friend. Someone to gossip with or at least talk to about girl stuff. Stuff she couldn’t talk to Jack and Spot about.

“Well, where would we be going to celebrate, then?” Katherine asked, a little more open to the idea now that Denton had approved.

“Not sure...Darcy? Bill? Know of any places around here we can have fun?”

Darcy and Bill looked at each other and suddenly looked happy, as if they thought they weren’t invited before. “There’s this one place called Jacobi’s,” spoke Bill. “It has burgers and pizza and stuff and there’s an arcade.”

“Are there prizes?” Sarah asked. Bill nodded. “Ooh, what do you think, Katherine?” The teen reporter looked like she’d lost interest, but shrugged. “Jacobi’s it is then.”

They packed up and left Mr. Denton in the computer lab. Since Katherine had recently gotten a car, she agreed to drive them, immediately making sure Sarah was sitting shotgun. The four got in the car and Katherine turned on the car. Sarah had expected the radio to come on, but there was nothing but silence. Bill gave directions, but other than that, the ride was quiet. Sarah could sense the discomfort and decided to talk.

“So what kind of music do you guys listen to?” she asked.

“Film scores mostly.” Sarah wasn’t surprised by this at all. Bill looked like the type of guy who watched a lot of movies.

“Jazz and hip hop.” This was more surprising as Darcy was the type of person she’d describe as a WASP. She’d expected Christian rock, maybe gospel.

“I don’t really like music.” This surprised Sarah most of all, because...well, who didn’t like music? Katherine apparently.

“None at all?”

“I’ll dance to it at social functions, but no. I prefer to read.”

They got to Jacobi’s quickly since it wasn’t too far from the school. Bill led them in. It seemed like he was a regular. He ordered his food and then went to go find a table for them to sit. Sarah ordered a slice of pizza and some fries, Katherine paid for the unlimited salad bar, and Darcy and Bill each got a burger.

They sat down to eat and talk, though Katherine didn’t do much talking. Sarah was getting to know Darcy and Bill better at least. She was asking them lots of questions and found out that Bill didn’t just write for the paper, but he liked to write scripts. She also found out Darcy was a poet who occasionally dabbled in rapping.

As little as Katherine was talking, she genuinely did seem interested in the conversation. She’d never really bothered learning much about Bill and Darcy so she was learning just as much as Sarah was. They were taking her mind off the school paper, and school in general. She forgot about all the stress she was in, and all the troubles she was still holding on to.

When they finished their food, they moved on to the arcade in the restaurant. Bill was willing to share his game card with everyone so they were all able to play some games. He also knew which ones had more chance of acquiring more points for prizes. Katherine was having fun, despite struggling with some of the games. Sarah was having fun watching everyone else have fun. She may not have been learning much about Katherine but at least they were all having a good time.

“You all look like you’re having a good time,” came from behind them as they played a whack-a-mole game. They all turned to see Jack watching them with a smile.

“Hey Jack!” Sarah said, hugging him as if she hadn’t seen him earlier that day.

“Hey, Sarah.” He turned to Katherine. “Hi, Kath.”

Katherine didn’t even try to be subtle. She whacked the moles harder than you were probably supposed to. She didn’t even acknowledge Jack’s presence.

Jack nodded, giving up. He smiled at the other two boys and then back at Sarah. “See ya later, Sarah.”

She waved at him as he walked away with his head down. Sarah was lost. Clearly something was going on with Jack and Katherine but she didn’t know what and she didn’t know who to comfort.

After she whacked the last mole, Katherine put the mallet back in its place and smiled at the three of them. Sarah could tell it wasn’t genuine though. There was a pain in her eyes.

“I’m ready to go now, if you guys need a ride home.”

Bill and Darcy said they could walk, and Sarah said she would also stay. The truth was Sarah wanted to know what was going on and she knew Katherine wouldn’t tell her, but Bill and Darcy would.

Katherine said her goodbyes and rushed off. Sarah waited until they had moved on to the next game to ask, “So what was all that about? With Jack and Katherine.”

Bill and Darcy looked at each other as they often did, and then Darcy spoke. “They used to date. And then Jack broke her heart.”

“That week was the only week we ever did the paper by ourselves,” Bill said, focusing intensely on the game he was playing.

“She came back the next week, berated us for doing such a bad job on the paper, and she’s been hard on us ever since.”

“The good thing is my writing’s improved. But she used to be nicer.”

“Not a lot nicer. But nicer.”

Sarah nodded in understanding, but she only had more questions she knew the boys wouldn’t be able to answer. Like how exactly Jack broke Katherine’s heart. It seemed that Jack regretted whatever he did, but Sarah now knew to be more wary around him. Maybe he wasn’t as different as she thought he was. She wished Katherine was still there so she could comfort her, but even then, Katherine probably wouldn’t let her.

“So what’d you get?” Race asked as he followed Spot out of their math class. Jojo walked behind them, observing. Spot reluctantly showed Race the B grade on his test. “I knew it! Ha! Pay up, bud!”

Spot took his wallet out and gave Race a five dollar bill. Race pocketed this as if it was nothing, but Jojo knew that it wasn’t just nothing.

“You like him, don’t you?” Jojo asked as soon as Spot had left them.

“What?” came from a very confused Race.

“You like Spot.” This time it wasn’t a question. But Jojo didn’t know what to think of it. Did he approve?

“What are you talking about?”

“You’re making bets with him.”

“I make bets with loads of people.”

“You take loads from people you make bets with.”

Race gave Jojo a cheeky smile and then said, “Yeah I do.”

Jojo then raised his eyebrow as if to say, “So I’m right.”

“Okay, so I think he’s hot. Whatever. But it’s not like Spot Conlon is gay. He barely even looks at me.”

Jojo shrugged. “Why don’t you ask him?”

“I can’t just...that’d be suicide.”

“Yeah, it’d be better if you two just stayed friends.”

Race seemed annoyed at this. “You know what? I bet you he is gay.”

“Nope. Not making that bet.”

“So you do think he’s gay.”

“I didn’t say that. I just can’t with you. Either way I lose.”

“I’m taking the bet anyway. I’m gonna prove to you he’s gay. I’m gonna do it.”

“Sounds more like a threat than a bet.”

Over the next few days, Race thought up several plans as to how he could out Spot or at least get him to kiss him. Ultimately, his tried and true method seemed to be the winner. Jojo was right. Making bets was Race’s strong suit and if that’s what got Spot to out himself, that’s what he was going to do.

And so they kept making bets in class. Some Spot would win, but most of them Race did. One of the days they were supposed to meet up with Jojo for their study group, Spot made the bet that Jojo wouldn’t show up. With Race trying to seduce Spot all the time, Jojo just didn’t have much interest in the group anymore. He’d only showed up occasionally since their studying had moved to Jacobi’s..

“You know, you don’t win the bet until we leave,” Race said after fifteen minutes of waiting.

“Well don’t try to keep me from leaving. I’m winning this, Higgins.” Spot had begun calling Race by his last name because he thought his nickname was ridiculous.

“Don’t count your chickens yet, Conlon.” And of course, Race had also begun to call Spot by his last name.

“I’ll fight you.”

“You’d lose.” Race looked up from his burger to see Spot staring at him with a smile. And every time they made eye contact, Race felt giddy. As if he’d won a bet he hadn’t even made.

“That’s amusing.” Spot, on the other hand, felt his heart skip a beat, and quickly looked away. He craved eye contact, but couldn’t bring himself to keep it for long.

“Wanna bet?” Maybe this was his chance. A chance to get into close physical contact with Spot. “Actually, yeah, let’s bet. I bet I can beat you at wrestling.” Surely, with Spot on top of him he’d know if he was gay.

“That’s stupid. I wouldn’t bet you to see who could run faster. If you were actually good at wrestling, you’d be on the team.”

“Would I? Maybe I just don’t like wrestling, even though I’m good at it.”

“You’re a dumbass,” Spot said with a laugh. “Get the fuck out.”

They finished their food and studied, before leaving. Race tried to stall as much as he could by challenging Spot to arm wrestling, losing twenty times. It wasn’t until Spot let Race win that he knew he couldn’t stall anymore. Jojo wasn’t going to show up.

“Walk me home?” Race asked when they got outside.

Spot hesitated. This was new. “You know I live the other way.”

“I get bored walking home. You keep me entertained.”

“Listen to music or something.”

“Let me listen to your music. I wanna know what trash you’re into.” A lot about Spot Conlon was still a mystery to Race. Not only would this help him get to know him better, but it could also help him figure out if he was gay. Maybe Spot liked Britney or One Direction.

“My music’s the best, you little shit.”

“Prove it.”

As much as experience was telling Spot to run home and get away from this kid, his heart was telling him the opposite. “Fine. I’ll walk you home.” Race grinned as Spot took his phone out to play music. “Dipshit.”

“You’re not just gonna play it like that, are you? Plug your earphones in. I wanna listen closely.” It wasn’t the best maneuver, but if he could get Spot to share his earphone, they’d be close. Spot reluctantly plugged his earphones in and loaded his music, handing both to Race as they walked. “What am I supposed to do with this? Pick a song. Listen with me.”

“You’re so needy.” But this was something Spot liked about him. He felt useful around Race, like he mattered and made a difference.

As far as Race could see, there was no Britney or One Direction, but he knew that didn’t mean anything. As they walked to Race’s, he made fun of the choices Spot did have. There were a lot of oldies, some heavy metal, and surprisingly, some classical.

“It helps me sleep,” he explained, ask they walked through an alley Race said was a shortcut to his house.

“You don’t sleep well?”

Spot hesitated. That was something Race had become accustomed to. It was as if everything Spot told him was some dark secret he was trying to keep. Race hoped one of those dark secrets was being gay. “Sometimes I just have nights where I think too much. I like to dwell on past mistakes or...unasked for feelings.”

“What kind of feelings?” Race asked curiously.

“I just said, unasked for.” He sounded defensive, which at first had stopped Race from asking more. As of lately, though, Race had gotten braver around him.

“But like...do they make you feel good?”

Spot stopped, wondering what Race was getting at. They made eye contact, and this time Spot didn’t look away. Race looked amused, but a little concerned. Spot wondered if he should say something to him. Not that it would help. The feelings would still be unasked for.

Race had to take his chance. Spot wasn’t looking away, which meant that Race was still looking directly into his beautiful brown eyes. And Spot still wasn’t looking away, which meant that he’d asked the right question. Spot didn’t look away, which meant that now was the time to know for sure. And so he did it.

Spot was caught up in his thoughts that it took him a second to realize Race was getting closer to him. It took him a second to realize Race’s face was nearing his. It took him a second to realize Race was coming in for a kiss.

But he did notice. And he backed up. His earphone fell out of his ear, and then out of Race’s as he pulled his phone away. “What the fuck?”

Race felt a little embarrassed, but there was no way to explain away what he’d attempted to do. “Sorry, I...I thought we were having a moment.”

“I’m not gay,” he replied, stating a lie he’d told himself countless times.

“I am,” Race said a bit defensively.

“That’s nice for you, but I don’t believe in living that kind of lifestyle.”

Race’s face immediately soured. “Lifestyle? It’s not a lifestyle. It’s who I am.”

“Who you are is a person. What you do is a choice.”

Race couldn’t even comprehend what was going on right now. His feelings toward Spot had just done a complete 180. How had he become friends with such a person? Who even was Spot Conlon anymore? “You’re...so wrong right now. I can’t…” He didn’t even know how to finish that statement.

“Yeah, I can’t either. Walk yourself home.” With that, Spot picked up his earphones and left. When he was alone, he reflected on what had just happened. He’d almost been kissed by a guy. And what was worse is that he almost let him. But he knew he couldn’t. He had to be a man. A good little man. And make his mother proud. He had to find a girlfriend. And he knew where to start with that.

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holdenmgrudges · 7 years

Text

Chapter 4 - Trustsies

A day late this time, but it was my cousin’s birthday yesterday and I couldn’t put him aside for this. Still, I’ll try to be more punctual in the future. Enjoy.

Or read on AO3 if you prefer.

Friday was paper day. Katherine got to school early just to see the new edition. She knew Darcy and Bill liked to place them in stacks in front of each classroom, and then pass the rest out throughout the day. She was eager to see it because if she knew Mr. Denton, he probably gave Sarah a job to do. Although Sarah seemed nice, Katherine couldn’t trust anyone with her creation.

Darcy and Bill were still distributing the papers when Katherine found them. They immediately handed her a copy and watched as she made her assessment. She saw that the font was different than usual, but it was better somehow. The pictures were also placed in such a way that her eyes were drawn to them, but they didn’t distract from the writing. Her face remained the same as she examined the paper so Darcy and Bill couldn’t figure out what she was thinking. She folded the paper, said goodbye to the boys, and went to get ready for her first period.

Katherine hadn’t always been so serious. There had been a time when she was friendlier. But then her heart was broken and everyone she thought she could trust became untrustworthy. Every guy she met was just another guy looking to get in her pants. Every girl she met was just another girl looking for just another guy. And she was sick of it. So she told herself she’d just keep all feelings to herself. No one needed to know her business.

As soon as her teacher opened the classroom door, she went inside. As she took her history book out of her backpack, Katherine looked up to see Jack walk in. They’d officially met in the LGBTQ+ Club, but had mostly become friends in history. And now, she just didn’t talk to him at all. She didn’t even like to acknowledge him and the sad, apologetic looks he gave her. She wouldn’t fall for that face again.

After school, she went directly to the computer lab like she did every day. Fridays weren’t only for releasing the paper, but they were also for assigning stories for next week’s paper. When she got to the computer lab, Sarah was already there. She looked a little nervous, especially when she saw Katherine.

“Hey, editor-in-chief…” she said awkwardly.

“Sarah,” Katherine acknowledged her.

“You saw today’s paper, right?”

“Yeah I did.”

“And…?”

Katherine knew the girl wanted validation. She clearly had a lot to do with the changes to the paper, but Katherine didn’t want her to think she liked her or anything. Still, the paper was like her baby. “I really liked it. Great job. Keep it up and I’ll give you a good assignment.” Sarah smiled and relaxed, happy to have not been a screw-up.

The two other boys and Mr. Denton got there and their weekly meeting began. Katherine gave assignments to both Darcy and Bill, and when it came to Sarah, Katherine sighed. “Now, keep this in mind Sarah. Nobody likes to do sports. But you’re our newest addition and therefore, we have to give you the burden of covering it for this week. More specifically, the wrestling match that’s happening on Wednesday.”

Sarah was just happy to have an assignment. “Ooh, I like sports. I was raised watching them. I’m not really familiar with wrestling, but I have a friend on the team and he can explain things to me.”

Katherine raised a brow. “What friend?”

“Spot Conlon. Not sure of his real name but he goes by Spot.”

“Huh,” Katherine said with genuine awe. “I didn’t know he could still make friends. I tried to interview him once and I think I got too personal so now he avoids me with the help of his...minions.”

“He walks me home,” Sarah said with a shrug. “Without his minions.” Katherine looked impressed, but not as much as Darcy and Bill did.

After the meeting, Katherine emailed Sarah some older editions of the paper to give her examples of how to write her article. They then left the room together. Spot Conlon was already there waiting for Sarah, but he didn’t even try to make eye contact with Katherine. She felt it was better that way. She admired that he wanted privacy, and despite being surrounded by other jocks most of the time, she suspected he was a solitary person. Or at least someone with few friends.

Over the next few days, Katherine imagined what it would be like to be Spot Conlon. She could convince Darcy and Bill to be her bodyguards, but at most they would come off as simple pawns rather than valuable protectors. She’d have better luck enlisting defenders from the LGBTQ+ club.

On Wednesday, she headed to the Little Theatre during lunch. With Jack as president, she didn’t enjoy it as much as before their breakup, but she felt that she needed to be there, not only because she was the secretary, but to show students that it did get better. That they did have support and people to talk to. That their rights mattered too.

When she walked in, she sat down in her usual chair, and took out her notebook, reading over the minutes she’d taken last week. Apparently she’d gotten there early; Jack and Crutchie were usually there before her.

The room was quiet for the most part, but it didn’t last long. The doors opened in a very dramatic fashion and in came Miss Medda followed by Jack, Crutchie, and Davey. Katherine wondered what they were up to when she saw them beckoning the students at the desks to move out into the open area of the class.

“C’mon, children!” Miss Medda spoke. “Let’s gather round in a circle. Today’s meeting is going to be a little bit different. Katherine, sweetie, you don’t need to take notes today. We’re doing a group activity.”

Katherine was confused, but she trusted Miss Medda. As she walked to the already forming circle, Miss Medda began counting heads. There weren’t a lot of members so it was easy to tell when everyone was there.

“Good, we’re all here,” Medda continued. “Now, everyone, put both hands into the circle, like we were gonna do a pre-show pump-up chant.” The students did so. “Alright, now, without looking, have each hand grab another hand. And hold on tight.” Katherine looked up at the ceiling so she couldn’t see whose hands she’d gotten. “Did we all grab ahold of someone? Good. Now, without letting anyone go, untangle yourselves so that you form one big circle.”

“Hey, Miss Medda,” came from Romeo. “How come you’re not doing this with us?”

“Oh please, child!” Medda replied with a laugh and a wave of her hand. “You can start now!” She went to sit down and watch as the rest of the students tried to figure out how to untangle themselves.

Katherine looked to see who she was holding on to. On her left hand was Crutchie, which worried her a little. He was balancing on one leg, but he looked happy to be participating. On her right hand was the new kid, Davey. He looked nervous, but ready for success. She was glad she at least wasn’t holding Jack’s hand. If she never held Jack’s hand again, it would be too soon.

She looked for him and he was already taking control, directing Romeo to go underneath Jojo’s arm. She was determined to also take control. Luckily for her, Crutchie did just as she said, and Davey seemed to already know what she was thinking. They instantly clicked and she liked that about him.

Soon, the group was halfway to a circle, or at least some oblong shape. Katherine and Jack were the clear leaders, giving out directions to the others. “Crutchie!” came out of both Jack’s and Katherine’s mouths.

“Go under Race and Specs’ arms,” Jack suggested.

“No,” Katherine said before Crutchie could move. “Just arch your arm and Jojo’s over Race’s head.”

Crutchie was torn. It felt as if a debate had started as he heard an onslaught of, “Go under!” and “No, over!” He looked at Davey, who looked just as uncertain and shrugged at him. So Crutchie did the only thing he could think of and let go both Katherine’s and Jojo’s hands. He bounced on his leg for a few seconds, and then lost his balance.

As he fell forward, he couldn’t help but think about how Jack had been right and he was about to feel a lot of pain. But then he felt several arms around him, catching him mid-fall. Davey had dove in front so as to somewhat save him from the fall. When he looked, Jack had grabbed onto his arm, Katherine was holding his hand again, and the rest of the group was also supporting some part of his body. A few seconds later and Miss Medda was there with his crutch.

“Thanks, guys,” he said, as he found his balance. “Best trust fall I’ve been a part of.” Everyone laughed.

“Well, that didn’t go exactly as planned,” Miss Medda stated, “but at least Crutchie knows we all have his back. Now, let’s grab a seat and get this meeting started.”

Katherine felt bad for what had just gone down. What if they hadn’t all come for Crutchie’s rescue? What if he had fallen all because she and Jack couldn’t cooperate? But as she reached her desk and notebook, she pushed the thoughts to the back of her head. She had a job to do.

Sarah put her notebook down, choosing to cheer Spot on instead of taking notes. She wasn’t the only one. There was even another boy on the team that was hardcore spurring him on. What Spot lacked in stature, he made up for in muscle and tenacity. It was something she admired in him. Every time he was in a tight spot and she thought he would give up, he surprised her and found a way out.

After the match, she waited for him so he could walk her home. The teammate who’d been cheering along with her came out of the locker room early and introduced himself as Jojo. He thanked her for her spirit and then left. Spot eventually came out and as they walked, she asked him about the different moves he’d done. They had to stop constantly so she could write down notes, but he didn’t seem annoyed.

When she got home, David was sitting on the porch. She said goodbye to Spot and he walked off. “Hey, Dave,” she said with a smile.

David wasn’t as happy. “That was Spot Conlon.”

“Yep,” she replied, not understanding his tone of voice.

“Do you know what they say about him?”

“What, that he’s the leader of a gang and he’s planning on burning down the school?” she replied sarcastically. She’d heard several rumors, and yet had never seen any clues that Spot was that kind of guy.

“Well, I only heard that he beat some guy up, but that’s much worse. Sarah, why were you hanging out with him?”

She shrugged and headed into the house.

David followed, reaching his own conclusions. “Wait, why did he walk you home? Are you two dating? Sarah…” She continued to ignore him and walked to her room. “Sarah! You can’t date him! He’s dangerous!”

At this, Sarah turned around quickly and stopped David in his tracks. “Listen, Dave. You may be a few minutes older than me, and you may be my brother, but that doesn’t give you the right to tell me who I can and cannot date.”

“Wow, you really like him, don’t you?” She didn’t know whether to keep yelling at him or go back to ignoring him. “Wait, so did you even join a club? Or do you just go to his wrestling practices after school?” She scoffed, going into her room. He still followed. “Does he even have wrestling practice after school? Or do you two just...make out behind the bleachers or something?” She threw a pillow at him, which he dodged. “Does he know about you? That you’re-”

“No!” she yelled angrily, as she realized what he was getting at. “You know that only stays in this household. And if you must know, I did join a club. It’s the school newspaper, and I need to write my article because it’s due tomorrow. So please, kindly fuck off.”

Sarah and David’s younger brother Les walked into the room, looking a bit annoyed, but curious. “What are you two fighting about? I’m trying to watch my stories.”

David walked over to pick up the pillow Sarah had thrown. “Nothing, Les. I’m just being stupid. Go watch your shows.”

“Hmph!” the ten-year-old grunted before leaving the room.

“Or better yet, why don’t you read a book!” David called after him. He turned toward Sarah, frowning in regret. “So you joined the newspaper? That’s awesome.” Sarah gave him a nod. “But...are you dating Spot Conlon?”

She sighed. “No, okay? I’m not dating anyone yet, but you’ll be the first to know when I do.”

“Cool.” David handed her the pillow and smiled. She didn’t return it, so he left her and walked out of the room.

“Hey, Dave?”

He came rushing back. “Yeah?”

“You’re in the LGBT club?”

He was caught off guard by this. “Oh...uh...yeah.”

“Are you...dating anyone?”

“No!” he replied, a little too quickly for her taste. “But you’ll also be the first to know if I do.” She nodded at him and he turned to leave again. Then he paused and turned back around. “How’d you know?” She stared blankly at him. “That I was in the LGBTQ+ Club?”

“Oh.” Now she was the one caught off guard. “I just saw you going into a classroom during lunch today and I read the flyer taped outside the door.” In reality, she’d been following Katherine to ask her a question about the article she was going to write. She’d seen her go into the Little Theatre and then had seen David go in a minute later with two other boys.

“You should join,” David offered. “Everyone’s very accepting.”

“Maybe I will,” she said with a smile. “I’m still getting used to this paper club. But, hey, you should join us too! I’m sure our editor would love you.”

“Yeah, I’ll think about it. But if you need help proofreading your article or something, I’m here.”

“Thanks, Dave.”

“Love you, sis.”

“Love you too, bro.”

David left the room and Sarah looked through her notes. She was sure she had enough to write a decent article. Or at least a first draft. She opened her laptop, recalled her memories of the wrestling match, and began writing.

Race banged his fist on the door. He was a bit nervous. He’d been to Jojo’s house several times before, but not with Spot Conlon there. Somewhere deep down, he still feared the guy would beat him up for some reason. It had only been a week since he’d first spoken to him, after all.

The door opened and Jojo peeked out, giving Race a really confused look. “Did you really knock?”

Jojo’s house was Race’s second home. He usually just slipped in, sometimes hiding to try and scare Jojo. He never succeeded. “Yeah, you know, just in case…”

“In case...you didn’t plan on trying to scare me today?”

“Is Spot here yet?”

“Oh.” Jojo nodded. “He’s in the kitchen eating. Are you...okay?”

“Yeah, yeah…” He pushed past Jojo into the house. He was tempted to run to Jojo’s room and just hide out there for some reason. Now that they were outside of school, all bets were off. Maybe Spot was just being nice in class.

“Look, Spot’s a nice guy, okay?” Jojo assured him, knowing what was going on. “I know everyone thinks he’s this scary guy who runs a drug ring and drops bodies like flies, but he’s just a teenager. He doesn’t even carry a knife. I’ve checked.” He whispered the last sentence.

“He runs a drug ring?”

“Yep, like how you run a gambling ring.”

“Hey, I’m just one bad loss away from that becoming a reality.”

“Race, shut up and get in the kitchen.”

The two boys walked into the kitchen where Spot was sitting at the dining table with his textbook open. There were pizza bites and dino nuggets on the table, along with an untouched charcuterie platter. Race immediately made sure it didn’t remain that way. Other than a quick glance, neither Race nor Spot acknowledged each other. Jojo knew he had to break the ice.

He walked over to the freezer and took out a huge chunk of ice cubes that had fused together, moving it into the sink. From a drawer, he removed an ice pick, and began picking at it. “Anyone want a drink? I mix really great cocktails.”

“He really does,” Race told Spot, playing with a slice of prosciutto. “I’ll take my usual screwdriver, bartender.”

“I don’t uh...drink,” Spot said, taking a pizza bite. “But I’ll take a water.”

“Why don’t you drink?” Jojo asked.

Spot stuffed the pizza bite in his mouth and shrugged, going back to the textbook.

Jojo and Race made eye contact, and then Jojo went on to make the drinks. Race cautiously sat across from Spot, trying to see what he was reading. “Did you do the homework yet?”

“Uh...no,” Spot answered. “I thought we’d all do it together. That’s what this study group is for right?”

“Right.” Race didn’t want to risk telling him he’d already finished the homework. He was good about doing his weekend homework every Friday after track practice. But it didn’t matter if he had to do it again; he could always use the practice. “I haven’t done it either.” He took out his own book and some paper to work on.

Jojo returned with Race’s screwdriver, Spot’s water, and a glass of sangria for himself. “We should get started, then.” A few drinks and math problems later, Race and Jojo started with the giggles.

Spot banged his fist on the table. The other two boys got quiet. Race from fear, but Jojo out of confusion. “Sorry,” Spot apologized. “I’m just not getting this and you two are behaving like...kids.”

“We are kids,” Jojo said.

“Kids shouldn’t drink.”

“You may be right. But adults shouldn’t leave kids alone then, should they?” Jojo knocked back his sangria, and then walked out of the room.

“Jojo’s parents are like, never home,” Race explained. Spot nodded, but his face remained angry.

Race texted Jojo, asking if he was okay. He immediately received the response, “Yeah, just taking a break.”

“So, what part aren’t you getting?” Race asked, putting his phone in his pocket.

“Everything.”

“You’re not really talkative, are you?” He didn’t receive a response. “It wasn’t really a question anyway, just an observation.” Just a few drinks had made Race more confident, or at least less fearful. He took a deck of cards from his other pocket and began sorting them. Spot was back to staring at his book. A few seconds later, Race had finished sorting, and he set the cards he wasn’t using aside. “Alright, Spot, let’s play a game.”

“I’m busy.”

“I think you’ll have time for this game. In my hand, I have thirty cards.” He fanned out the cards, showing Spot. “Ten of them are red, and twenty of them are black. Out of the black ones, some of them are odd numbers, some of them are even, and some of them are face cards, which, let’s say, count as both odd and even.” At this point, he had Spot’s attention. “So let’s say thirteen of these twenty black cards are odd numbers, including the face cards. And let’s say twelve of them are even, again, including the face cards.” He leaned in a little and loudly whispered, “In case you haven’t figured it out, I’m giving you an example similar to the problem you’re stuck on.” Spot leaned back, but had a curious look on his face. Race handed the cards over and continued. “So the first part of the problem would be, what’s the probability of you picking a black card that’s both odd and even? AKA, a face card.”

“So I count the face cards.”

“Correct. Or, you’d create an equation where you could figure it out.” Race wrote it down on a piece of paper and showed Spot. “One-sixth. Get it?”

“Kinda,” Spot said, a smile creeping up on his face. “Keep going.”

Race went on, hoping that with every problem, he could make Spot smile again. Soon, they were done with the homework, and Race looked over Spot’s paper to check that he’d done everything right. “Looks great,” he said, checking for a smile.

“Thanks,” Spot said, taking the paper back. There was no smile, but the gratitude was enough for Race.

Jojo banged his fist against the door frame. He’d been standing there for a minute, watching the two boys. After a brief cry in his room, he’d decided to come down and check that they hadn’t killed each other. But just as he’d expected, they were getting along. Maybe even more than that. Jojo had been looking for a third person to complete their incomplete trio, and now he thought maybe he’d found one.

“Hey, Jojo, sorry about earlier,” Spot spoke, with guilt on his face. “You’ve been so kind to me, welcoming me into your home and here I am being ungrateful and...I’m the kid.”

Jojo just laughed. “We’re all kids.” He pointed at the cards in Race’s hands. “If we’re done with math, what’s say we play a little Go Fish? Unless that’s too childish.”

“I’m never too much of a kid for Go Fish,” Spot answered. Race saw that the smile was back, and he accidentally strewed the cards all over the table. “Or Fifty-Two Pick-Up I guess.” The three of them giggled.

17 notes · View notes

holdenmgrudges · 7 years

Text

Chapter 5 - Bailsies

I swear I finished this 5 minutes before midnight so technically it’s not late. A little more Sprace and Javid in this chapter. And if you wanted more Jojo and Crutchie, this chapter has them as well. Enjoy.

Or read on AO3 if you prefer.

“Sorry boys, can’t meet up today. But you 2 still should. Test seems hard.” Race put his phone away. It seemed Jojo was bailing on them and without an excuse, which meant he was probably hiding something. Or planning something. Race could hardly surprise Jojo, but Jojo was really good at surprising him.

Race replied to the three-way group chat and Spot and he decided to meet up at their nearest library instead. It wasn’t like Jojo needed the help anyway. Spot was the one that Race was worried about.

Over the past few weeks, Race felt he'd grown somewhat closer to Spot. He wasn't as scared of him anymore. In fact, whenever he saw him, he was glad. He liked having a friend who could potentially beat anyone up. Though, he wasn't exactly sure Spot considered him a friend. Spot was still a bit distant, but he was always grateful. Race felt giddy whenever Spot's smile appeared. Apparently Jojo had noticed because he'd asked him about why he seemed to get excited whenever Spot understood a problem. Race had shrugged and told him it was because he felt like he was being a good teacher.

Of course, Race liked Spot in a more than friendly way. He thought Spot was hot and he'd let Jojo know as much. But when it came to anything more than that, he wouldn't admit it. Not even to himself. He just wanted Spot to like him as a friend, is what he told himself. Jojo had told him he needed to get laid.

Race got to the library early and scouted out an empty table with two seats. He put his feet on the other chair and pulled his math book out of his backpack to go over the sample problems they'd been given to prepare for the test. Within a few minutes, he'd planned out how to explain the harder ones to Spot. He'd be as prepared as he could be.

Race looked up and he paused as he saw Spot near the entrance of the library. The wrestler was wearing a tight red tank top that showed off his arms and curvature of his chest. Race's jaw almost dropped. "Hey, Spot!" he yelled, before remembering where he was. He waited for someone to loudly shush him, but it never happened. Maybe it was because Spot Conlon was in the building and no one wanted to get pounded. As Spot walked over to him, Race couldn't help but watch the guy's chest. He couldn't help but think he wanted Spot to pound him.

"Didn't anyone tell you you're in a library?" Spot asked.

"Huh?" Race had to forcibly look up at the guy's face. Maybe Jojo was right. He needed to get laid.

"You know, shhh." Spot put his finger up to his mouth and Race couldn't help but laugh. He moved his feet and Spot sat down. They immediately started on a problem, but something felt off. Race figured it was because Jojo wasn't there. But then Spot spoke up. "I'm not a library person. Are you a library person?"

It had come out of nowhere, but Race realized that's what felt off. "Fuck no!" he said loudly. He looked around to make sure he hadn't disturbed anyone and then whispered, "They're too quiet."

Spot nodded and got up. "I'm hungry. Are you hungry? Let's eat."

Spot nodded back and grinned, collecting his stuff.

They decided to get burgers at a nearby diner. Spot just dug into his, while Race took bites in between telling a story about how he once bet Jojo he couldn't eat a whole burger in under a minute and other bets he'd made with other friends.

"No wonder you're got at probability," Spot said when he was done, wiping his mouth with a napkin. "You're good at betting and stuff."

"Yep, that's why they call me Racetrack." Spot looked confused. "'Cause they make bets at the racetracks. The horse racetracks. Ironically, I've never been to one."

"Oh, I thought it's 'cause you run fast. I've seen you on the racetrack. The human racetrack."

Race sipped on his soda and shook his head. "Nah, I'm not even that fast."

"If you say so."

"Why do they call you Spot?" It was something he'd been curious about, but never had the opportunity to ask until now.

"I'm known for spotting at the gym," Spot answered casually. "I liked the name so I told everyone to call me that."

"Huh, I wouldn't have bet on that," he said with a smile.

Spot let out a small laugh and munched on his fries.

The two finished eating and then got back to practicing for their test. Spot was getting it for the most part. He was still nervous about the exam, but having Race practically tutor him made him feel better. Especially when Race told him he was doing well.

Spot’s feelings for Race were more or less the same. Though he’d never admit it, he thought the runner was cute at times and handsome at others. However, it was really the fact that Race was smart that really intrigued him. He knew he shouldn’t, but he had a small crush. Of course, he couldn’t let Race or anyone else know that. He had to remind himself to not stare at the younger guy for more than a second, or even stare at him at all if it was possible.

But when Race said, “Oh hey,” Spot allowed himself to look. Every time he did so, he had to take everything in all at once. The dirty-blonde hair, the deep blue eyes, the soft-looking hand that was reaching out for him. Wait, what? “You got a little something…” Race’s hand touched the corner of Spot’s lip and he wiped a smudge off with his finger. Spot flinched back and Race looked mortified. “Shit. I’m sorry.”

Spot forced himself to look down at his book. Race had given him that face a lot over the past weeks and Spot didn’t like it. It was the face everyone gave him. A look of fear. A look he could only get rid of by reassuring him. “No, no, it’s fine. I just don’t like being touched.”

“Oh. Well, still, sorry.” His expression had changed from fear to apologetic, which Spot saw when he looked up to nod. They got back to studying, until they decided to call it a day.

Before they went their separate ways, Spot cleared his throat. He’d been thinking that maybe he was being too harsh. He wanted Race to be comfortable around him. “Hey, just...If you do need to touch me for whatever reason, just warn me.”

“Sure thing.” Race nodded and raised his hand to pat Spot, stopping short of actual skin to skin contact. “Shit, I was gonna do it again. May I?”

Spot chuckled. “You may.”

Race patted him twice on the shoulder and they bid farewell.

Walking home, Spot knew he’d make a mistake. He’d given a guy permission to touch him. Sure, with consent, but somehow Spot knew he’d give the guy consent. It wouldn’t have been that big of a deal, except the thought of Race’s touch made Spot’s heart beat faster. Why did Jojo have to bail on them?

“Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Jacobs. Dinner was delicious.” David smiled as Jack spoke. He’d been so charming all throughout dinner, that his nerves about his parents meeting him were practically gone. He could tell his parents were content with Jack, which was all he’d wanted. Not that he didn’t have any confidence in Jack. His parents were just harsh when it came to friends. Or at least the ones Sarah had brought home to meet them, since he never had.

Jack was doing so well, David was willing to forgive Crutchie for bailing. He’d said he had plans with his foster parents for dinner and he couldn’t make it. David was disappointed, but at least Jack was there. His parents had told him if they approved of his friends, they could sleep over. Although, Jack had talked to them enough about the LGBTQ+ Club that David thought they might not let Jack sleep in his room. Or at least not with the door closed.

But after dinner, they informed him otherwise. Either they didn’t suspect that David wasn’t straight, or they trusted him enough not to do anything they wouldn’t want him to do. Though, they’d asked him enough times if he was different, telling him they’d accept him in any way.

After dinner, David and Jack headed to his room where they talked about other trust exercises they could do for the club. The past few weeks they'd started each meeting with some kind of trust exercise. They'd even done trust falls to appease Crutchie. Everyone seemed to enjoy them, but as much as Jack had hoped Katherine would soften up, she hadn't. At least not to Jack. She'd continued to politely acknowledge David every day in English class, but he hadn't mentioned that to Jack in case it made him feel bad. The whole ordeal had made him curious, however.

"Hey, what'd you do to Katherine to make her dislike you so much?" he asked abruptly.

The two were sitting side to side at the foot of David's bed, with a notebook and their phones in hand. Jack scoot away a little at the question. "Don't ask me that."

"Okay," David replied. He waited for Jack to say something. Every time he said something stupid, either Jack or Crutchie would laugh it off and tell him it was fine, but this time Jack wasn't saying anything.

"Can I use your restroom?" Jack really didn't want to talk about Katherine.

"Yeah, out in the hallway, it’s first door on the left."

Jack got up quickly, without saying anything and headed out the bedroom. In the bathroom, he looked at himself in the mirror. He didn't want David to hate him. If he told David the complete truth about what he'd done to Katherine, and why he'd done it, he was sure he would lose his new best friend. He washed his hands and went back out into the hallway, where he was met with a familiar face he hadn't expected.

"Jack?" she said.

"Sarah?"

She hadn't expected to see him either. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm having a sleepover with my friend, Davey. What are you doing here?" Had David forgotten to mention having a girlfriend?

"I live here. Davey... Davey ?" She looked like that was such a weird name to say. "Dav id is my twin brother."

"Oh, right!" Jack recalled he'd mentioned having a twin sister. He just never imagined it would have been Sarah. After all these weeks, he'd forgotten to ask. "He did mention that. So, you two are twins. That's pretty cool, not gonna lie."

"Yeah, it has its perks. We can read each other's minds and we constantly pretend to be each other," she joked. "How do you know David?"

"We met in art class. He liked my drawings, I liked him." He shrugged.

"You're not...tutoring him in art, are you?"

David came out into the hallway just as Sarah and Jack were laughing. He felt odd about it. Did they know each other? Were they flirting? "Hey..."

"Hey, Davey ..." Sarah said, teasing him about the nickname. "I didn't know you knew Jack. He and I have chemistry."

"You what?" Had he heard that right?

"We have chemistry class together," Jack clarified. "I was just telling her you and me have art together."

"You and I," David corrected, still a little confused. For some reason he felt like one-upping Sarah. "We're also in the LGBTQ+ Club. Jack's the president."

"Oh?" Sarah looked more intrigued. She and Jack made eye contact that David was a little too uncomfortable with.

"I keep telling her she should join," David said trying to get them to look away. "But she says she's too busy with the school paper."

"The school paper?" Now Jack seemed to be the one intrigued. David wanted to bite his own tongue off. "So you know Katherine?"

"Yeah, she's a...tough editor."

"You know, she's also in the LGBTQ+ Club," Jack replied, with a playful smile. "And she's the secretary." He walked over to David and put his arm around him. "But you know, if you're too busy, that's cool." He then winked at her, pat David on the back, and went in his room.

Sarah nodded and then walked to her room.

David had so much to ask both of them. He stood there for a second to clear his thoughts, and then turned to Jack. "I'll be back." He walked over to Sarah's room, walking in, and closing the door.

"Yeah?" she asked from her bed.

"Were you flirting with Jack?"

She hesitated. "Maybe. He is single, right?"

"Yeah, but...don't."

Her face hardened. "Why not?"

That was a good question. One that David didn't have an answer for. Was he jealous? Yeah, he was jealous. But in what sense? He wasn't ready to think about that just yet. "He's my friend. I don't want you flirting with him. I've never flirted with any of your friends."

"David, can you even flirt?"

"Doesn't matter. I've never tried to flirt with your friends. Mom and Dad and Les like him, and I can see him becoming a long term...best friend."

"He's my friend too, you know."

"Yeah, but if something happens between you two and then you break up, I'm the one who's going to feel awkward inviting him over."

Sarah sighed and after a few seconds said, "Fine. I won't flirt with Jack."

"Thanks." David stood there feeling awkward about even having that conversation. But Jack was his first true friend, so he felt justified. "So Katherine's in the school paper?" he said, trying to break the tension.

"Yeah, why?"

David shrugged. "I think she's cool. Maybe I'll join."

Sarah raised her eyebrow and crossed her arms. "If I can't flirt with your friends, you can't flirt with mine."

"I wasn't even thinking about that, jeez." The twins smiled at each other and then David left. Back in his room, he sat back down next to Jack, again at the foot of his bed. "Hey, you weren't flirting with my sister, were you?"

Jack laughed, shaking his head. "I hope it wasn't coming off that way. No, Sarah's nice, but she's not the one I'm interested in."

David smiled, oblivious at what Jack was getting at. "You're still into Katherine, aren't you?"

"She's special, yeah." Jack didn't want to lie to David, but he couldn't tell if it was a leading question or not. He also remembered what he'd told Crutchie about trying to remain friends. He liked David, and he didn't want to ruin their friendship, but over the weeks, his crush had just grown. Every time he saw David's adorable smile, he just wanted to take him in his arms and kiss him. "But I just want her to be my friend again."

David still wasn't picking up what Jack was putting down. "So then...Crutchie?"

Jack laughed, more to himself than at David's suggestion. "Davey, let's talk about something else. Am I sleeping on the floor?"

David looked around the room and shook his head. "Nah, you're the guest. You take the bed. I'll take the floor."

"No way, it's your room. You take the bed."

"We can both take the floor, then."

"Or...we can both take the bed." Jack had said it as more of a joke than anything else, but David seemed to be taking it seriously.

"Yeah, okay. Let's do that then."

When the time came for them to go to bed, Jack took his side of the bed, and David took the other, laying the opposite direction Jack was. A few seconds later, David felt Jack moving and in the light coming from the window, saw that Jack had switched sides so they were both laying in the same direction.

"Sorry," Jack said. "I just think it's weird laying in different directions. Thought it was weird when Crutchie tried it at my place and I think it's weird now. I hope you don't mind."

"It's fine," David said. But he wasn't fine. He was unexpectedly nervous. At that moment he realized something. He had another boy in his bed. But not just any boy. A boy he liked. A boy he maybe more than liked. A boy he maybe had a crush on. No, a boy he definitely had a crush on.

Crutchie walked into The Bowery, once again surprised at how easily he was let in. The Bowery was the only gay bar in town, which he'd been introduced to by Specs. He put away his fake ID, which Specs had also provided, and then went over to the dance floor to look around. He sometimes like to dance, but only if he was there for fun. Tonight, he was there for pleasure.

He alternated between checking his phone and checking guys out, but he wasn't satisfied. He hobbled over to the bar and ordered a cosmo, when he turned and saw someone at the other side of the bar staring at him.

Jojo smiled as he saw Crutchie notice him. He took the two shots he had and walked over to sit next to him. "Come here often?" he said jokingly.

Crutchie did everything in his power not to reach for his crutch and hit Jojo with it. "What are you doing here?" he asked instead.

"Drinking." Jojo took a shot, offering the other one to Crutchie. He'd ran out of alcohol at home, which is why he'd gone out to get some. His parents hadn't been home in a week and he didn't want to risk going to the nearest liquor store to buy more. He also hadn't felt like seeing Race and Spot sober, which is why he'd bailed on their study group. So to the local gay bar it was. "You?"

Crutchie shook his head and replied, "Hunting for daddies." Jojo laughed, but then Crutchie held up his phone, showing the dating app he was on.

"Oh, good luck."

Crutchie could tell Jojo wasn't being sincere, but it didn't bother him. "Yeah, don't cockblock me."

"I'll try not to." Jojo took the other shot and then called the bartender over to get him more.

"To answer your earlier question, I do come here often. I like watching the Bowery Beauties perform."

"They're the drag queens, right?" Jojo only came for the drinks, if he had to be honest. "I thought you only came for the daddies."

"Them too, but only when I'm feeling blueballed." Or unwanted. The truth was that Jack had asked him to bail on the sleepover. Crutchie immediately disapproved, but Jack told him he couldn't help himself or his feelings for David. In the end, Crutchie let Jack have his way. Either David would reject him or they'd get together and it wouldn't end well. Just like every other one of Jack's relationships.

Jojo laughed. “I like you, Crutchie.”

“I know. But you’re not my type.”

Jojo hadn’t meant it in that way, but maybe he was too obvious. Because he did have feelings for Crutchie. “What is your type?”

Crutchie took a swig of his drink and answered, “Unavailable.”

“Yeah, mine too I guess.” Jojo downed his shot and then asked, “What about me is not your type?”

“For starters, you smile too much.”

“You smile too much too!”

“Yeah, but I’m disabled. If I don’t smile, people’ll stop liking me.”

“That’s not true. If anything, they’d understand your frustrations because you’re disabled.”

“No, people would feel sorry for me. They wouldn’t understand me. No one wants to be around a sad cripple.”

“You shouldn’t use that word.”

“No, you shouldn’t use that word. I can use it as much as I want.”

"Fair enough." He ordered another shot, as Crutchie continued.

"Second off, we're not compatible. Just 'cause you think we're sidekicks, doesn't mean we belong together."

"What do you mean, I think we're sidekicks?"

"I mean...if we were in a story, I'm the guy everyone feels sorry for and therefore can never get a date."

Jojo understood. "And I'm the funny-looking guy who's the best friend of the attractive, relatable dudes. I also never get a date."

"Exactly. So what, we're just doomed to end up with each other?"

"Not doomed. Why does it have to be a bad thing?"

"It's settling. And that's bullshit. I'm the main character of my life. Why can't I end up with the hot, hunky guy?"

"Why can't you, just as well, end up with the nice, unconventionally attractive boy-next-door type who's been there all along?"

"Because, Jojo, you haven't been there all along. You've just been there. You like me because I'm just as single and miserable as you. You're a square and I'm a rectangle. Just cause we both have four corners and four sides, doesn't mean we fit together."

"You're overthinking it."

"You're under thinking it. What do you and I have in common? We're both gay and lonely. But even the way we deal with that is different. You drown yourself in alcohol, and I drown myself in older men. Face it, Jo, we're both screwed up and two screw-ups don't make a right."

"Guess not." Jojo thought to his family. His parents were always fighting whenever they were together in the house. And individually they were just as bad. Jojo's mom mostly ignored him, but tried to make up for it by buying him whatever he wanted. His dad refused to acknowledge Jojo was gay, and was overbearing as a parent. He'd give Jojo bad advice and spent most of his time talking about himself and his accomplishments than letting Jojo talk about his own. Still, it was worse when the house was empty and he was alone. If he and Crutchie started dating, would he be any different from his parents, or would he have gotten all of their bad traits? "We'd make each other miserable, wouldn't we?"

"That's not to say you're not good company," Crutchie said, trying not to make Jojo feel too bad. "You're doing an okay job of cockblocking me by keeping me talking. Didn't even need an intervention."

Jojo looked down at his empty shot glass and replied. "You're doing a terrible job of keeping me from drinking."

"Eh, I never said I was good company." Jojo laughed just as Crutchie's phone buzzed. He looked at it and then put his hand on Jojo's leg. "Hey, this tonight, let's keep it between us, okay?" Jojo nodded. Crutchie got up, taking his crutch and leaving some cash on the bar. "I'll see you later, Jo. I'm gonna get me some daddy dick."

Jojo nodded again, and watched him walk away. He didn't know if the conversation they'd just had made him feel better or more miserable. He just knew that Crutchie had his vices, and he had his. He paid his tab and then left the bar. At least Crutchie's conversation had reminded him that he had friends to rely on. Maybe his parents weren't there. Maybe he didn't have a boyfriend. But at least he had his friends. At least he had Race and Spot.

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holdenmgrudges · 7 years

Text

Chapter 3 - Helpsies

I know, I’m a couple of days late. I’ve been busy. And I had a bit of trouble writing this for a few reasons. The first was coming up with a reason for Crutchie’s messed up leg. I know he’s canonically supposed to have polio, but since it was pretty much eradicated in the US back in the 90s, I felt that it wouldn’t be a good enough reason. So the reason I came up with is a bit simpler than that, and it opens up a plot point I might use in the future. Second, was coming up with a math problem for the Sprace part of the chapter. I’ve never taken statistics and probability, but seeing as how the problem I used is a probability problem, I felt it worked. Anyway, here’s chapter 3! Enjoy!

Or read on AO3 if you prefer.

The next day, David couldn’t help but feel he was doing a great job of adjusting to his new school. In PE, the kid Crutchie had called Race, completed his usual lap, but just before overlapping him, slowed down next to David to say, “Hi Davey…” with a smile. And then, “Bye Davey…” as he sped off again. In his English class, Katherine gave him a quick smile before taking a seat and huddling with two other boys. Despite ignoring him for the rest of the class, David was satisfied. It was safe to say joining the LGBTQ+ Club was the best decision he could’ve made.

Lunch came around and after waiting in line for a calzone, he headed to the Little Theatre. Inside, he quickly spotted Jack and Crutchie, sitting at two desks that had been pushed together. He also saw a few other kids he didn’t know playing some trading card game he didn’t know, and a few others either reading or doodling. No one else he’d seen yesterday. Even Miss Medda wasn’t there.

“Hey Davey, grab a desk and sit with us,” Jack said, as David approached him and Crutchie. David did as he was told and Jack moved his desk so the three of them were in a sort of triangle. “We were just talking about what kind of trust exercises we could do for the club.”

“He’s been trying to convince me physical activities, like a trust fall, wouldn’t work,” Crutchie chimed in. He grabbed his crutch and tossed it to David. David held out an arm and was able to catch it right before it hit the floor. He looked a bit startled, but Crutchie laughed. “See, I’m good with the physical stuff. I don’t need the crutch to stand and catch someone.”

David let out a small chuckle as he handed the crutch back. “I’d think a trust fall would be too obvious. But I don’t think we should rule out anything physical.” Crutchie stuck his tongue out at Jack. “If Crutchie says he can handle it, I think we should trust him.”

Crutchie laughed again, saying, “I like you, Davey. You got some great ideas.”

Jack crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair. “Alright then, Davey with the great ideas, what do you suggest?”

“Hmm...lemme think…” David took a bite out of his calzone and then put it back down on the paper plate it had come on. He scanned his brain for ideas as he chewed, thinking about anything he’d ever done at camp or his family reunions.

While David was thinking, Jack took a second to give David a discreet once-over. Crutchie, however, noticed and gave Jack a light kick in the shin with his good leg. David, in turn noticed this and looked back and forth between the two of them, trying to figure out what was happening. Crutchie was giving Jack and accusatory look and Jack was staring at him as if he didn’t know what he was talking about.

“Uh...what’s going on?” David asked, feeling out of the loop. He thought that he could really benefit from a trust exercise right about now.

“I’m just punishing Jack,” Crutchie answered quickly, “for trying to use my disability against me. As if I don’t get that enough from everyone.”

“I’m just very overprotective of you, Crutch,” Jack replied. “Someone’s gotta be.”

“If I fall, I fall. It’s not a deadly stunt.”

“But it’ll hurt like shit…”

“You’re a shit…”

“You’d be the one eating shit…”

“We’ll see who eats shit when we’re doing the trust fall…”

“Not me, ‘cause I’m not doin-”

“What is your disability?” David interrupted. “Like, what happened to your leg?” The other two fell silent and David felt like he’d messed up. He needed to learn to keep his mouth shut.

But then Crutchie smiled. “People don’t usually ask,” he said. “They just see that I have a crutch and move out of my way.”

“Even I didn’t know until his foster mom mentioned it while I was sleeping over,” Jack contributed.

“Yeah, ‘cause you’re a shit.” Crutchie kicked Jack again before turning back to David. “But to answer your question, I was in an accident. Got hit by a car. I mostly recovered but my leg didn’t. But I’m still alive and other people have it worse. So I don’t let it define me.”

David nodded in understanding. “But you still call yourself Crutchie.”

“I didn’t start that shit,” he responded with a laugh.

Jack covered his face with his hand and mumbled, “Kick me again.” Crutchie did so, but not as hard. “I thought it’d be a cute nickname. Better than ‘Crutch Boy’ or ‘He-Who-Must-Have-The-Crutch.’”

“You could’ve called me by my actual name. But of course, Crutchie stuck. I wear it as a badge of honor. And it makes people wonder if it’s my real name.”

The three laughed and then David asked, “What is your real name?”

Crutchie smirked and shook his head, “That’s something you’ll have to figure out on your own, Davey..”

David nodded and then remembered he was supposed to be thinking of ideas for the club. He continued eating his calzone.

“What about you, Davey? What’s your story?” Jack asked.

David shrugged with a nervous smile. “I don’t know...I’m just Davey.”

“But what makes you special?” This came from Crutchie.

“Oh uh…” Whenever he was asked this question, he always went to his go-to list of interesting David facts. “I can play the piano...I’m a Ravenclaw...but House Lannister...I’m a twin, but not identical-”

“You’re a twin?” the other two boys asked in unison, curious to learn more.

“Yeah, figures that’s the most interesting thing about me,” David replied with a snort.

“That’s not true,” Jack said, as if he knew something about David that he didn’t. “You’re in our LGBTQ+ Club which is interesting on its own.” David nodded in agreement. “Which uh...letter do you belong to?”

David raised an eyebrow in confusion while Crutchie rolled his eyes. “He means, are you gay, bi, trans, queer...plus?”

“Oh,” David responded and then thought for a few seconds. “I guess queer. I know I’m not straight, that’s all I know.”

“Cool,” Jack said with a smile. “I’m a proud bisexual.”

“And I’m straight...up guh-guh-gayyyyy.”

The three laughed again and continued talking until the end of lunch, when David remembered, “Oh, shoot, I forgot we were supposed to be thinking of trust activities for the club.”

“We can brainstorm some more in art class, but…” Jack took out his notebook, wrote something, and ripped the page out, handing it to David. It was a phone number. “You can also text me with ideas.”

“Oh okay, cool,” David replied. The three got up and headed out of the Little Theatre. Before Crutchie could walk off to his class, David called out to him. “Hey, do you wanna...maybe...give me your number too? Wouldn’t wanna keep you out of the loop.”

Crutchie grinned widely and nodded. He wrote his number down on the piece of paper and then they went their separate ways. David smiled. Now he had two friends.

Spot wasn’t bad at math. In fact, he’d been the first kid in his third grade class to learn all his timetables. But he wasn’t in third grade anymore, and he wasn’t learning his timetables. Statistics and probability was much harder than he thought it was going to be. He thought it was all about percentages and fractions, but what he got was so much more confusing than that.

He was in class, scratching at his chin, trying to figure out the problem the class had been given. It didn’t seem hard but as he looked around the class, everyone seemed to have a different answer. But he couldn’t ask for help. He was Spot Conlon. He was never helpless. He looked over the problem again but still didn’t understand how some people were arriving at a different solution than the obvious one.

“You need help there, Spot?” came the friendly voice of Jojo. Jojo was pretty special to Spot because he was another one of the few people that wasn’t afraid of him. Not that Spot had ever threatened to hurt Jojo. The kid was too sweet to ever want to harm. He was funny too, which didn’t hurt. And he was a great teammate to have, cheering people on at not just every match, but every practice as well.

So when Jojo asked him if he needed help, he knew he was in good hands. He trusted Jojo. “Yeah, man. I don’t get it. I mean, the answer’s one-half, right?”

“Actually, it’s two-thirds.” Jojo took a second to double check his paper. “Yeah, two-thirds.”

“But how?” Now that he’d gotten confirmation that his answer was wrong, Spot needed to know how. He wasn’t satisfied with just the answer.

“Uh...I forgot. Hold up.” Jojo turned around to the desk behind him to ask his friend. Spot had seen him before, running around the school track like he was Usain Bolt. He’d been impressed, but didn’t think more about him. Now, he had to because the guy had turned his head to stare at Spot. Jojo turned back to Spot as well, and said, “Race here is gonna show you how you get the right answer.”

Spot waited while Race hesitated. He’d obviously heard about Spot’s reputation. But after a few seconds, he began to talk, trying to explain to Spot why the answer was two-thirds using mathematical terms. Suffice it to say that Spot still wasn’t understanding.

“Okay, so you have three boxes, right?” Race spoke. “And each box has two drawers, right? And each drawer has a coin.”

Maybe it was the way Race was talking to him, or maybe it was the fact that he was fed up with the problem, but Spot was not having it. “Yeah, I’m not stupid. You don’t have to talk down to me like I don’t know what the scenario is. I know what the scenario is.” He ran his fingers through his hair, getting a good grip.

Race went silent and looked down at his piece of paper. He hadn’t meant to offend Spot. In fact, he was aiming for the opposite. Sure, in class he was safe, but who knew what Spot could do to him after school. His only hope was running fast enough, but he didn’t know how fast Spot could run.

Jojo looked back and forth between Race and Spot and then giggled. “Go on, Race. Don’t mind Spot. He’s like this all the time.”

The other two boys made eye contact and Spot nodded. Race straightened up and continued. “Alright, so you pick a box and open up a drawer at random. It has a gold coin inside.”

Spot knew each box was different. One had two gold coins, another had two silver coins, and the last one had one gold and one silver. The question was, what was the probability of the second drawer also having a gold coin?

Race went on. “So you’d think, it could only be one of two options, right? The box you picked can’t be the one with two silver coins, so it must be one of the other two. Which means that the second drawer will either have a gold coin or a silver coin, making the probability of the second coin being gold one-half. Well that’s wrong.”

Spot took a deep breath, making a conscious decision not to bang his fist on his desk. This kid was telling him what he already knew.

“Okay, okay. So let’s start with the first coin instead of going directly to the second one. Out of the six coins, how many are gold?”

Spot glanced at Jojo, who looked like he was enjoying himself. “Three,” Jojo replied, and Spot rolled his eyes.

“Right. So the first coin you pick will be any of those three coins. Which means for the second coin there will be three possibilities.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Spot interrupted. “How?”

Race paused for a second as he thought. He took a pencil and placed it into his mouth, holding it as if it were a cigar. After a few seconds, he took a piece of paper and drew three boxes. In each box he drew two circles and then labeled each of them with either G for gold or S for silver. He then crossed out the box with the two S circles.

“So,” Race started again, pointing to the box with one gold coin and one silver. “If you picked this gold coin, then the second coin would be silver. That’s one possibility.” He then pointed at the first G in the other box. “If you pick this gold coin first, then the second one would be gold. That’s your second possibility.” He moved his finger to the second G in the box. “But let’s say you picked this gold coin first instead. Then your second coin would still be gold, but you’d have a third possibility.”

Spot’s eyebrows raised in understanding.

“Therefore, the probability of your second coin being gold would be two out of three possibilities.”

“Two-thirds,” Spot stated as his lip curled into a smile. He didn’t notice Race perk up at this, but Jojo did.

“That’s right!” Jojo pat Race on the back. “Now I remember. See, Spot, I told you it was two-thirds.”

Spot was too distracted writing down the explanation to say anything. Race gave Jojo a quick smile before going back to his own work.

“Isn’t Race a genius?”

“I wouldn’t call me a genius. You can google the answer and get a better explanation.”

“Yeah, but we didn’t need to ‘cause we have you.”

Spot finally finished and looked up. His smile was gone, but he gave Race a nod of gratitude. Race would’ve been satisfied with that, but then Spot followed through verbally. “Thanks, man.”

Race relaxed a little, realizing Spot wasn’t the bully he’d been led to believe he was. He’d been afraid to talk to him all year long because of the stories he’d heard about him. But now maybe Spot Conlon could be his friend. Or at least someone who wouldn’t beat him up. “Mhm,” he replied, giving Spot a nod right back, and then one to Jojo.

Jojo was all smiles. He lived not only for making friends, but for making his friends become friends with his other friends. He was like a friendship wingman. So it shouldn’t have been a surprise when he said, “We should start a study group.”

Immediately, Spot and Race looked at Jojo and then at each other. It was really up to Spot to decide. “Yeah, maybe,” he decided. It might as well have been a no. He already had a lot to worry about with wrestling, and he didn’t want to add a whole study group to his list of responsibilities.

The other two nodded and went back to their work. It wasn’t until near the end of class, when their teacher was passing back their latest test results, that they spoke again. Race had gotten an A, as he always did. Jojo got a B, which he was proud of. And Spot got a D, the last grade he wanted. He might as well have gotten an F.

“Alright,” he said, turning to face Jojo and Race. “Let’s start a study group.” Jojo did a little victory fist pump while Race looked up in surprise.

“We can meet at my place,” Jojo said. “I can have snacks ready and all that.”

“Sounds good,” Spot replied. “Text me your address.”

The three made arrangements to meet that weekend, and thus the Stats and Probs Study Group was born.

Sarah had collected as much as she could the night before. Old essays, class assignments, and even some diary entries that she felt were really good pieces of writing. She put them all in a folder, thinking Katherine would take it home and read each piece in her free time.

She was so nervous about what Katherine would think, that she was barely paying attention in her last class. Her usual thoughts about Jack were nowhere to be seen, though he didn’t seem to mind. He seemed giddily distracted.

When Sarah got to the computer lab after school and handed her folder to Katherine, she surprisingly began reading then and there. Skimming, more like. She’d move on to the next piece after a few seconds, giving a few nods of approval and even some quick chuckles at the diary entries. About halfway through the stack, she handed it back.

“You didn’t read everything.”

“I don’t need to. You’re qualified. Some of that stuff was actually pretty good.” Katherine went back to her computer where she was editing an article. “Also, I have more important things to do.”

"What can I do to help?" The day before she'd been shown around and explained most of what they do. Everyone wrote at least one article with at least one picture, though from one of the sample newspapers Sarah had seen, it was clear Katherine wrote most articles. She was also in charge of editing every article. Darcy and Bill helped print out the papers and distribute them every Friday morning, which happened to be the next day. And Mr. Denton looked over everything to make sure it was PG and PC. So far, Sarah didn't have any job in the club, so she was just there to help in any way she could.

"Nothing right now," Katherine responded, brushing her off. "Go see if Darcy and Bill need anything."

Sarah was a little disappointed but she knew the girl didn't need any distractions. Darcy and Bill were sitting together talking with Mr. Denton. As she approached, the teacher saw the folder in her hand and gave her an amused smile. "You know, you didn't actually need to bring in any writing samples. You're in the club no matter what Katherine has to say about it."

"She's just so in charge," Sarah said, putting the folder in her backpack. "She's inspiring. I wanted to impress her."

"And was she impressed?" Denton asked. Darcy and Bill looked at her in anticipation.

"She said some of my stuff was pretty good." The boys nodded as if they'd expected that.

Mr. Denton just smiled. "That's a good sign. Katherine likes to go on rants when she reads bad writing."

"I wonder what she'd say about great writing. If I was pretty good, my brother would probably be amazing."

"You should have him join then," Denton said. "We're always looking for writers."

"I'll ask him, but he's not really the joining type."

Denton soon went back to his desk to do some of his own work and Sarah stayed with the two boys. "So what are we up to right now?"

"Waiting for Katherine to finish editing, basically," answered one of the boys. Sarah didn't think she'd be able to remember which was which, but as she saw that each was wearing similar clothes to what they'd been wearing the day before, she deduced that the one who had just spoken was Darcy. He had on a dress shirt tucked into his khaki pants and his hair was neatly combed. The other boy had on a superhero shirt.

"When she's done," Bill said, "we arrange everything on the template, print out a bunch of copies, and tomorrow morning we release it."

"She lets you arrange the paper?" She would've figured Katherine would be in charge of everything.

Darcy replied, "Mr. Denton felt she had too many responsibilities and we not enough, so we do it now."

"But we still ask Katherine for help with it," Bill whispered. "When Denton's not around."

"Of course," Sarah said, nodding. "So you guys hang out with her outside of the club?"

Darcy shook his head, but Bill nodded. They looked at each other and then Darcy explained. "We have English class with her, but we only ever talk about the paper. If it's not about that, she's not really interested."

"We've never hung out with her outside of school," Bill added.

"Well, except that one time she asked me to walk her home because the Delancey brothers were being creeps. But that was only one time."

"Does she have any friends outside of the paper?" Sarah couldn't imagine anyone being so obsessed with one thing.

Bill responded, "Not sure. At school she spends her free time either writing or interviewing people for articles. I know she wants to be a journalist someday."

Katherine seemed almost as antisocial as David, but Darcy and Bill didn't seem to know anything about her outside of school. And just like that, Sarah's curiosity grew. She was gonna make it her own personal assignment to find out as much as she could about the girl. And if she couldn't find information from other people, she'd go directly to the source. After all, Denton had told her yesterday that she would grow on Katherine.

It didn't take long for Katherine to finish editing. She sent the articles and photos for each to Darcy and Bill and they started copying and pasting all over the news template they used. Sarah was bored out of her mind watching the two boys try to figure out where everything should go. She could see Katherine out of the corner of her eye, just fidgeting, probably wishing she could do it all herself. Mr. Denton seemed to notice it too because he sent her home soon after. Sarah was slightly disappointed with that, but then Mr. Denton came to the three of them and requested for her to take the reigns.

"What?" She knew she was new and didn't want to risk ruining all the hard work that was already put into the paper. She would hate for Katherine to come in the next day and absolutely abhor anything she did.

"Don't worry," Denton replied. "We’ll help you out. I just want to see what you can do. Besides, how else are you going to learn if not by doing?"

She supposed he was right, but she was still nervous about it. Luckily, she had no reason to be.

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holdenmgrudges · 7 years

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Chapter 2 - Clubsies

Welcome back, readers. In this chapter, Davey and Sarah meet Katherine. And then Spot meets Sarah. Next week, we’ll get our first taste of Sprace, but this week, enjoy chapter 2 of what I’ve decided to call, Newsies High: What We Are, Not What We Should Be.

Or read on AO3 if you prefer.

Every day in art class, David watched as Jack worked on his art project, and soon, the girl in the drawing was imprinted in his brain. His own town drawing wasn’t going as great even with Jack’s occasional tips. Jack hadn’t brought his own perspective drawing yet because he didn’t want David to try to copy it, even with David’s assurances that even if he tried, he’d be bad at it. Jack insisted he wasn’t that bad and that he thought his drawing was great for a beginner.

On Wednesday, David decided to wear pink. He knew he didn’t have to, but he wanted to come up with some kind of inside joke with Jack. He knew inside jokes were the key to a good friendship. He put on a pink polo and tucked it into his jeans, looking forward to the club meeting and to seeing Jack outside of art class.

After the usual overlapping in PE, he headed to his AP English class and as soon as he entered, he saw her. The girl from Jack’s drawing. Live and in the flesh. If before he’d thought she was beautiful in the drawing, now he thought Jack wasn’t doing her justice. She paid him no mind and instead was busy writing. David instantly wanted to know everything about her.

After a more than appropriate amount of time, he realized he was just standing at the doorway, staring like a creep. He ran over to his desk, making sure not to stare too much at the girl. Though, no matter how much he stared, she never stared back.

Lunchtime came and David had lost most of his confidence. He'd even untucked his shirt because only nerds do that. Still, he made his way to the Little Theatre where the LGBTQ+ Club was meeting and stood right outside, waiting for something to happen.

“Are you going in or are you just gonna stand there?” he heard a boy ask.

David turned and saw a boy about his age, but shorter, walking with a crutch. Despite his disability, he held a friendly smile on his face, which David took comfort in. David also couldn’t help but notice the boy had a pink shirt on as well. He wondered if it was a coincidence, before remembering he was asked a question.

“Oh...actually...I think I’ll just go get lunch.” So he was chickening out. Sarah had been right for not starting the club back home. He started to walk away when the boy spoke again.

“There’s food inside!” the boy said loudly. David turned around, and saw the boy walking toward him. “Our adviser, Miss Medda, brings in donuts or bagels. Sometimes even actual food.”

“I don’t know...I’m a pretty picky eater and I don’t like donuts…”

“Aww, c’mon. The club is pretty cool. We’re friendly. And our president, Jack, is the best guy you’ll ever meet.”

David perked up at the name and had to ask, “Jack’s the president?”

“Ah, so you’ve met him,” the boy said, looking like he was connecting some dots.

“Yeah, he’s in my art class. He’s the one who invited me.”

The boy just nodded and then turned to walk into the Little Theatre. “Don’t let him down then, and come in.”

David thought about running. But then he thought about how he’d see Jack in his next period and he’d probably ask where he was. He didn’t want to have to think up a fake excuse, so he followed the guy with the crutch into the building.

Inside were a bunch of seats where an audience would usually sit, and on the stage were several desks set up in rows. David figured it doubled as a classroom when there weren’t any performances.

“Hey, Crutchie!” came from one of the desks in the back. David looked over and was surprised to see the young guy who always overlapped him in PE. Except the speaker was the boy next to him, who was waving at...Crutchie?

“Hey, Jojo,” Crutchie said with an air of slight annoyance, but with the same kind smile he seemed to have for everyone. “Hey, Race.” The overlapper was playing with a deck of cards and only looked up for a second to give a headnod. What a fitting name. Crutchie walked toward the front of the classroom and David followed.

“Is your name really Crutchie?” David asked before he could filter himself.

Crutchie gave David a mischievous smile as if he knew something David didn’t. “Not my legal name, but it’s what everyone calls me. It’s what you can call me.” David was confused but was distracted when Crutchie stopped and he saw they’d reached the desk where Jack was sitting, doodling in a notebook.

He looked up and smiled as he saw David. “Davey...glad you could make it.” He turned to Crutchie and his smile faltered as he saw his expression. Crutchie had an eyebrow up as if to remind Jack about a previous conversation they’d had that David knew nothing about. Some inside joke, perhaps.

“Davey, eh?” David turned to see who asked and saw a younger, ethnically ambiguous boy with a lollipop in his mouth giving him a flirty smile. “Don’t worry, we’ll come up with a better nickname for you.” The boy walked away to go sit with an older boy wearing glasses.

“That’s Romeo,” Crutchie explained. “He hits on everyone, but he’s harmless.”

David nodded and then turned to Jack to ask him when the meeting was starting. However, Jack was distracted because right at that moment the girl came in. The girl from his drawing. David and Crutchie turned to look at her and David was almost hypnotized. She had such an aura of commanding respect. David still wished she would notice him.

“Katherine,” Jack announced. “Now you’re here we can start.”

Apparently she was the club secretary and took the minutes. Jack started the meeting and David took a seat to pay close attention.

The advisor, Miss Medda, popped in after a few minutes. While Katherine commanded respect, Medda Larkin had great stage presence. As soon as she came in, everyone cheered. David thought at first it was because she came in with several boxes of pizza, but after she started talking, he knew that she was just a really popular teacher. David noticed Jack let Miss Medda take over as she spoke to the students.

“Oh, I see a new face with us today,” she said when she noticed David. “What’s your name, honey?”

David flushed a little, hating that he was being singled out. At least Katherine’s eyes were on him now. He looked away from her and answered the question after a quick glance at Jack. “I’m Davey.”

“Welcome, Davey. I sure hope everyone here is making you feel welcome. Did you have a slice of pizza yet? Jack, get him a slice!” David immediately liked her. She moved on from him and gave them an impromptu speech. She told them she was proud of them and that they should be proud of themselves, putting lots of emphasis on pride. Everyone had a smile on their face. After a few minutes, she looked at the time and told them she was going to let Jack take back over before time ran out. She headed toward the back to listen as Jack got back to it.

Overall, David was glad that he’d chosen to attend, but was surprised that most of Jack’s objectives were just to recruit more club members.

At the end of the meeting, Katherine quickly packed up and left, and Jack looked sad about it. After waving goodbye to a very attention-seeking Romeo, David turned and noticed the look on Jack’s face. “She used to be so outspoken during club meetings before we broke up. I don’t think she likes it anymore because I’m in it.”

David had no idea what to say to that except, “Oh. That sucks.”

“Yeah, it does. It’s not the same as it was before.”

“Maybe instead of trying to get more people to join, you should plan on an activity with your current members.” He realized what he said a second after he said it and immediately wished he hadn’t spoken.

“Like a trust exercise?” Crutchie asked, joining the conversation.

“Uhhh…” David hesitated, not wanting to offend anyone.

But Jack didn’t look offended. He did look surprised, but in a good way, like his gears were turning. “That’s not such a bad idea,” he finally said. “I mean, this is supposed to be a safe space. We should make it a place where people want to be. Even if their ex is the president. Good job, Davey.”

David smiled and nodded.

“And Crutchie,” the shorter boy reminded them.

“And Crutchie,” Jack agreed, putting his arm around Crutchie and pulling him in for a side hug. “Now we just gotta think of what kind of trust exercise we can do.”

“You could pitch it at the next meeting,” Davey continued. “Have everyone give ideas and then vote on them.”

Jack beamed at him and David felt proud of himself. Not only had he joined the LGBTQ+ Club, but he was actually helping out, and he had a friend in Jack. Maybe Crutchie, though it was hard to tell with him.

The bell rang and the three of them said a quick goodbye to Miss Medda before they headed out. As they walked together, Jack chuckled a little. “I just noticed you two did a little color coordination. Thanks for the memo.”

David looked down at his shirt, having had forgotten about the inside joke he was planning. He figured now it was an inside joke between the three of them.

“See ya next week, fellow Plastic,” Crutchie said before heading to his next class, leaving Jack and David to walk alone to theirs.

“Or you can see him tomorrow if you wanna have lunch with us,” Jack offered. “We’re always in Miss Medda’s.”

David was overjoyed that he was being asked to have lunch together. To David it wasn’t just an invitation to hang out, it was a friend request. “I accept,” he answered with a confident smile.

Every day as she headed to her last period, Sarah could see the Delancey brothers watching her. Other than a quick glance to check, she paid them no attention. Maybe they’d take the hint soon, but at least they hadn’t bothered her since that first day Jack interjected. So maybe they had taken the hint. There was nothing wrong with just looking, right?

The more time Sarah spent in class with Jack, the more she liked him. She liked that he was flirty but never crossed the line. She liked that he let her be in charge of whatever they were doing in class. She liked that he didn’t stare at her too long or too little. She liked that she did catch him staring. She liked that he made her feel empowered. She wondered how many days she had to know him before it was socially acceptable to ask him out. Or if she should wait for him to ask her out.

Every day after school, Jack would walk her to her locker before heading off. A few minutes later, David would appear and they would walk home together. On Wednesday, however, Jack was distracted by something behind Sarah. As she turned to see what it was, she saw the girl she’d seen in the main office.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Sarah,” Jack said before rushing off. But Sarah wasn’t paying attention to him anymore. Her sights were set on the girl with the curls. She closed her locker and followed the girl before she could lose sights of her. If she was paying closer attention, she’d notice she was also being followed.

The girl went into a room labeled Computer Lab, and Sarah quickly thought up a reason to go in there. If asked, she’d say she was there to print out an essay. Of course, as soon as she stepped into the room, she froze. There were four people in the room and they all turned to stare at her. The girl with the curls was standing near the doorway, putting her backpack on a chair.

“Can I help you?” the girl asked. Sarah opened her mouth but the words wouldn’t come out. The girl was so beautiful up close. Sarah would’ve slapped herself if she could see the way she was acting. The same way most boys acted around her. “The computer lab is closed right now. Unless you’re here to join the school paper.” The girl looked as if she knew she wasn’t there to join the school paper.

Sarah wanted to impress her. To surprise her. So she said, “Actually, yeah. I’m here to join the newspaper club.”

The girl’s eyebrow raised, and she turned to look at the other three people in the room as if she didn’t know how to respond to that. Sarah guessed she was the first person to join in a long time. The teacher who was at the front desk nodded at the girl and she turned back.

“First of all,” she said, “we’re the school paper. Not the newspaper club. That just sounds...amateur.”

“Do you get paid?” Sarah rebutted.

“Well...no. But we’re not just some silly little newspaper club. We’re a serious weekly publication.”

Sarah nodded. “Second off?”

The girl looked taken aback, but continued, “Second off, I’m gonna need some writing samples from you. We don’t let just anyone join.”

“Clearly.”

“Third off!” The girl took a pause and offered her hand. “My name is Katherine Plumber and I’ll be your editor in chief.”

Sarah looked down at Katherine’s hand and then back at Katherine. “Sarah Jacobs.” She reached out to shake her hand, but almost as soon as she had a grip, Katherine took it back.

Katherine pointed behind her at the two other students sitting at a couple of computers. “Those are Darcy and Bill. They’re mostly quiet and keep to themselves. You could learn from them.” While she was saying this, the teacher rose from his desk and approached them. “And back in the desk is-”

“I can introduce myself, Miss Plumber.” Katherine flinched a little and nodded. The man smiled and offered his hand to Sarah. “I’m the adviser, Mr. Denton. Katherine may be editor in chief, but I approve everything, so if you have a story idea you feel Miss Plumber is unfairly rejecting, just come to me.” Sarah nodded. “But we usually have the same tastes. Katherine grows on you. Or rather, you’ll grow on her.” At this, Katherine walked away, as if she didn’t have time to listen to this. “If you stick with us, that is.”

“Well, if I’m not driven out,” Sarah replied, staring at the back of Katherine’s head as she sat at a computer, “I’m planning on sticking around for a while.”

“Good answer,” she heard Katherine say loudly from her computer.

“Why don’t you go sit down next to Katherine so she can show you what we do around here,” Mr. Denton said, welcoming Sarah into the room. She gladly did as she was told.

As she sat, her phone buzzed. Sarah quickly withdrew it from her bag and saw a text from David.

“Wya?”

She quickly texted back, “Joined an after school club, don’t wait up,” before looking up and seeing Katherine giving her the side eye. She slipped the phone back in her bag and smiled. “Just texting my whereabouts to my brother, but you have my full attention now.”

“Good,” Katherine said. “Welcome to the club.”

“I thought you said this wasn’t a club.”

“Don’t make me drive you out.” Sarah could swear she saw a tiny smile pop up in the corner of Katherine’s mouth. That alone made her want to keep coming.

Spot Conlon was always surrounded by people. Being the captain of the wrestling team had its perks. Especially when everyone knew he had a temper and could kick their ass if they got on his bad side. Of course, he'd only ever beat up one person, regretting it almost immediately. But it was a very public beating and after that, no one messed with Spot Conlon.

And since then, Spot’s life had just gotten better and worse at the same time. Better because he was offered a spot on the wrestling team, he was both feared and respected, and his mother was pleased with him. Worse because he’d lost his best friend, his new friends didn’t know him at all, and he felt more isolated than ever. As a solitary person, it was great to be able to be alone whenever he wanted to be; as a lonely person, it was hell. He needed a friend.

After wrestling practice, he was one of the first to leave. He never liked to shower in the locker room with the other guys. He was about to leave campus when he remembered he’d forgotten his math book in his locker. He hated math, but he had to pass it if he didn’t want to get kicked off the team.

As he got to his locker, he saw a very beautiful girl walking out of the computer lab. She was followed by three other nerds and their teacher. They said their goodbyes and the beauty was left alone, walking toward him. She noticed him and he quickly looked away, rushing to open his locker.

She walked past him in a hurry, wondering if she was as scared of him as most other girls were. He hated that. Not because he wanted a girlfriend, but because he didn’t want people making assumptions about him because he didn’t have a girlfriend. Spot took his math book and stuffed it in his backpack, banging his locker shut.

He watched the girl, who was farther down the hall, and was about to walk in the opposite direction when out of nowhere the Delancey brothers appeared. And they seemed to be following the girl at a distance. Spot didn’t like getting involved with people, but he knew the Delanceys were trouble.

He sped off in their direction, yelling at the girl as he got closer to the Delanceys. “Hey, baby!” The brothers turned around and Spot shoulder bumped both of them as he passed between them. Spot put on the brightest smile he could and slowed down as he got to the girl. She had stopped, but looked terrified, so he said the only thing he could think of, “Roses are red, violets are blue, there’s nothing in the world more prettier than you.”

The girl stared at him, her face slowly changing from scared to confused, to amused. Her eyes flickered toward the disheveled Delanceys and then back to Spot. She nodded in understanding, and continued walking. Spot walked alongside her.

“Are you showing off for your friends?” she asked. “Because I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I’ve heard that line before.”

“The Delanceys are not my friends,” Spot stated firmly, his fists slightly clenching. He took a deep breath and then relaxed. “Wait...you’ve heard that line before?”

“You don’t happen to be friends with Jack Kelly, do you?”

Spot looked straight ahead at the mention of Jack’s name and shook his head. “I know him, but he’s not my friend either.”

“But you do have friends, right?” Spot looked at her but she didn’t look like she expected an answer. So he stayed quiet. “You’re that guy that’s always surrounded by people, aren’t you?”

Spot turned his head to check if the Delanceys were still following them, but they were nowhere to be seen. “They’re not so much friends as they are bodyguards. Not that I need ‘em.”

“Friends or bodyguards?”

He was caught off guard by the question and stared at her. He settled on, “Neither.” They reached the end of the hall and the front of the school. Even though the Delanceys were gone, he didn’t want to take any chances. Those two were sneaky.

Spot opened the door for the girl and continued walking with her. “Are you trying to be my bodyguard?” He scoffed at that. He wanted to tell her this was only temporary and that he wasn’t for hire. “Or my friend?”

He shook his head and smiled at the girl. “Nah, babe, I’m just hitting on you. Hoping you’ll let me take you out sometime. Of course, that was until you told me someone stole my line. Now, I’m just stalling ‘til I can think of another one.”

“You can at least ask my name if you’re going to follow me home.”

He was caught off guard again. “What’s uh...your name?”

“Sarah. And yours?”

“Spot.” She gave him a confused look and before she could say anything, he clarified, “It’s a nickname, but it’s what everyone knows me as.” And as quickly as he thought it, he added, “Maybe I’ll tell you my real name when we go on that date of ours.”

Sarah rolled her eyes as they crossed the street. “I don’t go out with random guys I just met.”

“I’m not random, and you’ve never met anyone like me.”

“Please. There’s one of you on every street corner. What makes you special?”

He had to think for a second before answering. “I’m captain of the wrestling team.”

“Big deal. Every sport has a captain. Try again.”

“I uh...can probably lift you.”

“I’m pretty light. Next.”

“I’m…” He couldn’t think of anything else. And that made him sadder than not having any friends.

They walked in silence for a few seconds before Sarah spoke. “You’re protective of strangers.” He looked up from his shoes toward her. “I’ve heard the Delanceys are bad news. So thanks for scaring them away. Although, they’ve been gone for a while now so...you’re free to go.”

It was true. The Delanceys didn’t seem to be around anymore, but for some reason he wanted to keep walking and talking with Sarah. Maybe he was just that lonely. She sparked some interest in him. “I live in this direction. Besides, I’d like to hear other things that make me special.”

Sarah laughed and shrugged her shoulders. “You tell me. I barely know you.”

He shook his head. “I need more time to think.”

She feigned surprise. “You? Mister Roses-Are-Red?”

“Yes, me,” he replied, looking back down at his shoes. “I’m not used to praising myself. I’m used to having others do it for me.”

“Well, how about you think of something for tomorrow?” They turned a corner and she stopped.

“Tomorrow?”

“I assume the Delanceys are persistent.”

Spot thought again of telling her he wasn’t for hire, but she was right. And he liked her. Although there was some slight hesitation at first, she didn’t seem to be afraid of him. He could actually see himself going out on a date with her. He nodded. “Tomorrow.”

“Good. Now, this is where I leave you, Spot.”

He nodded. “See ya later, Sarah.”

“See ya, bodyguard.”

Sarah walked away and Spot went back around the corner to head to his house. He had a small smile on his face. “Not bodyguard,” he told himself. “Friend.”

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