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Amy: Top reasons to get married?
Leela: Firmly saying "That's my husband!" and knocking someone out in one punch.
Amy: ...
Leela: And love, I guess.
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Professor: I have a science headcanon.
Amy: Can you just say you have a hypothesis like a normal person?
Professor: So my science headcanon is-
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Fry: Where's Bender?
Leela: Probably off somewhere disappointing Jesus.
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Leela: I want to show you a picture from last night that really upset me.
Fry: Okay, but in my defense, Bender bet me 50 cents that I couldn鈥檛 drink all that shampoo.
Leela: That鈥檚 not what I wanted to- you drank shampoo?
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[air horn noise]
[second air horn noise]
Fry: This isn鈥檛 deodorant.
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Leela: If I had a nickel for every time I've been in an irreversible coma, I鈥檇 have two nickels.
Leela: That鈥檚 not a lot, but its kind of weird that it鈥檚 happened twice.
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Leela: Bender, you always take things just a little too far.
Bender: No, I don鈥檛.
Leela: Okay, our client's nephew's first birthday party.
Bender: That鈥檚 not fair.
Leela: You brought a wind machine.
Bender: To be fair, my vision was-
Leela: Bender, you brought a wind machine.
Bender: Who puts wheels on cribs?
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Fry, trying to be sympathetic: I know what it's like to lose your mom... I dropped my ice cream cone on the ground once.
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Amy: I have feelings for you!
Fry: I have feelings for you, too!
Narrator: That feeling was friendship, but neither had ever experienced it.
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Fry: [playing holophonor horribly out-of-tune]
Leela: Do you take requests?
Fry: Sure.
Leela: Please stop.
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Hermes: I hope you have a good explanation for this.
Fry: We have three!
Bender: Pick your favourite.
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Leela: I'm not afraid.
Bender: Neither am I!
Fry: Well, I am terrified! These guys are professional killers! It's their profession!
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Fry: Which country has the most birds? Portu-geese.
Hermes: Wait. That鈥檚 a language.
Bender: Portu-gull.
Amy: Nice recovery.
Zoidberg: Don鈥檛 you mean 'nice re-dove-ry'?
Leela: Turkey. How did we miss Turkey?
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Amy: What's upsetting you, Leela?
Leela: He's always using common phrases incorrectly!
Fry: Cry me a table, Leela.
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Leela: Did you just refer to a knife as a "people opener"?
Bender: Should I not have?
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Hermes: Especially you, Leela, I expect more from you.
Fry: What, you don't expect more from me?
Hermes: All I'm hoping out of you is a haircut.
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Professor: I鈥檒l be munching later today.
Fry: And crunching?
Professor: Let鈥檚 not be hasty.
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