khjcs - Tumblr blog

khjcs · 15 days

Text

group: ateez

pairing: idol!hongjoong x fem!reader

genre: angst, smut, oneshot

trope: lovers to strangers ? to lovers again *head scratch*

rating: 18+ MDNI <<< don’t make me block

word count: 6.3k

warning: angst, mild cussing, mention of death (no one dies or plans on it), argumentS (yes, plural), mention of cheating, pregnancy on two occasions (not reader), mention of an abusive partner (neither mc), if i missed any, please lmk

synopsis: an argument between you and your significant other leads you to ponder on whether the man you’re with is actually the one indicated for you.

song playlist recommendation: “west coast” “young and beautiful” “video games” “say yes to heaven” all by Lana Del Rey

a/n: i know for pairing i put “idol” hj but it’s only alluded that he is. there is no actual scene in which it shows he is an idol, just small mentions of it. don’t get your hopes up if that’s what you were looking for. also, this is, in NO WAY a depiction of the artist. think of this more of an au than a fanfic if it helps. i really hope you enjoy:)

special thanks to: @luvt0kki for proof reading🙂‍↕️🫶🏼 oh and my sister for putting me in such angsty mood (by playing lana del rey in the car), bringing this piece to life. but she’s not on tumblr and let’s keep it that way. oh and the rain outside for pushing me to post this. i swear the mixture of rain, a good playlist, and a comfortable bed is such a good cocktail for writing.

navigation ・❥・ masterlist

Waking up in the arms of your lover on a lazy Sunday morning was on of the best feelings ever. You cuddled your face deeper into the crook of his neck, taking in his scent as the morning sun began seeping through the white curtains of your room. “That tickles,” he let out a chuckle. “I’ve got to take advantage of you allowing this skin-ship,” you retorted, both of you just smiling, allowing yourselves to be engulfed in each other’s embrace. “We have to get up,” you grumbled while pulling the covers off of your body, the cold rushing in quickly, creating goosebumps on your skin. “I don’t want to. Let’s just sleep in today,” Hongjoong whined as he got up. “You’re already out of bed. Tell you what, after we finish cleaning, we can have ourselves a small movie marathon, yeah?” “With cuddles?” His eyes sparkled. “With cuddles,” you laughed at his hypocrisy of “hating”skin-ship. It had became a habit of his to spend the weekend at your place. On Sundays, you two would clean your entire apartment together just before Hongjoong had to go back to the dorms for work. This week, however, you both had been busy and only had Saturday night and Sunday to yourselves, making the cleaning all the more dreadful.

“I say, we just do the laundry,” Hongjoong was still trying to negotiate with you. Missing your boyfriend’s presence, you were quick to give in, “okay fine.” Both dressed in comfortable clothes, you grabbed your load and the sheets, making your way to his car. On the way to the laundromat, he received a call that happened to appear on his car screen to which he declined. The all too familiar number kept calling. “Just pick up,” you rolled your eyes as you answered the call on his screen. A woman’s voice was heard, “Joong, I think I’m in trouble,” she cried through the phone. Hongjoong glanced your way and back to the road, “I’ll have to call you later, I’m a bit preoccupied right now.” Your mood had turned sour in an instant, you knew in a few seconds he’d be running to her rescue. “Love—“ “I know, you have to go to her,” you cut him off as he arrived at the laundromat. “I shouldn’t take long,” he got off to help you carry the load inside. “See you in a bit, okay? I love you.” You didn’t reply, you couldn’t. I mean, how could you? Your boyfriend of almost three years was still running behind his so called “best friend” when she needed him. “Love, please don’t be mad, it might be serious.” He tried soothing you, but you were too angry with him. “Serious? Hongjoong, I’ve seen you drop everything for that woman. Don’t think I’ve forgotten how you practically ran out of your studio when she called. But Lord forbid I need you while you’re at work. I called you to hang out Friday afternoon and all I got was a sad excuse of how you’re stuck at work. And I get it, maybe you needed to get your creativity out onto a piece of paper and get it started. See, I kept thinking that to myself, making excuses for you. I thought you and I were in a relationship, not you and her.” You began walking off, trying to not cause an even bigger scene in public. “It’s not like that. You know it’s not like that. Please love,” he reached out for your hand. “Please what? You want me to be understanding of the situation? Because trust me, I have tried these past two, almost three years. Even before we started dating. I just can’t anymore,” you half whispered the last part. “What?” “I can’t anymore Hongjoong,” you spoke up this time, “I don’t want this anymore. I don’t want to be second to no one in your heart.” “But you’re not,” he held both your hands. “Oh but I am,” you pulled your hands away, busying them with the load that you were to wash. “Look, I have to go. We’ll talk about this at your place later.” “No. I’ll just finish cleaning on my own. Just go straight to the dorms afterwards. I’m not counting on you to come back.” You waited for him to fight for you in any way. You begged inside of you for him to understand you and stay. But of course, like a fool, you sat there waiting for your clothes to wash after seeing his car drive off. All of this ripping away the feeling you had not even 2 hours ago.

With a heavy heart, you finished cleaning the rest of your apartment. You had cried as you folded his clothes neatly, placing them in the drawer you had cleared out for him. Everyone had warned you about this. At the time, you were so naive, seeing him only through pink glasses, wanting so desperately to feel loved, which you did. He had made you feel so important when he worried about your wellbeing, sending you money so you could buy yourself whatever it was you needed. He had always checked up on you when you were sick, even calling days off to go and personally take care of you. All of this making you think that you were the one he loved, so it didn’t matter if every now and then he ran off to help his best friend, given their history. You couldn’t blame him for your obliviousness when he had been so honest with you from the start about their friendship. “She lived in my neighborhood so we would play a lot when we were younger but only gotten closer at age 14 when we started walking home from school together. She opened up to me a few years later when her parents were having a messy divorce. She really just needed a shoulder to cry on, and I was there to provide comfort. I see her more as a younger sister than anything, I promise you have nothing to worry about.” You laughed at yourself remembering his words seeing as he’s with her right now instead of with you.

You plopped yourself on your couch, in front of the television, eating a spoonful of ice cream to help with the sadness. The doorbell rang, making you jump. You reached out for your phone, wiping your tears away, to check the time. It was already past 8:00 pm, with no messages on your notifications; you certainly weren’t expecting anyone at this time. “Love, please open the door,” your heart clenched. You quietly rushed to turn off the TV, making your apartment pitch black. “Don’t pretend you’re not here, I saw the light of the TV turn off.” You curled yourself back into a ball on your couch. He had the pin to your apartment door, so why didn’t he just come in? If he really wanted to come inside to talk, he would have, but he never came in on his own. You waited until he left, which only sadden you even more. Only realizing now that he wasn’t fighting for you, for your love, or your relationship, making you conclude that he doesn’t love you the way he claims. The way you loved him. That if it came down to it, you were ready to lay your life for him, but was he willing to do the same? This only saddened you more. You reached out for your phone to call him, but the longer you stared at his contact, the more you thought about how he chose to leave instead of staying to talk things out.

You no longer had the energy to deal with this. Even if your heart ached, you knew you had to end it with him, for your sake. The thought making you feel stuffy; you planned for a late night run to help you muster up the courage to end the relationship. Making your way out of your apartment, you stumbled upon something, or more like someone. It was too dark to make out who it was. Afraid to take a step closer, you waved your hand in front of the motion censor light. With it illuminating right outside your door, you were finally able to see. Noticing a sleeping Hongjoong, your eyes soften as you reach out for him, “wake up.” You shook him, but he didn’t budge. “Hongjoong,” you shook him again abruptly, waking him up. “Y/N, I’m so sorry,” he stood up, unaware of his surroundings, that is until he saw you, “please, can we talk?” “Let’s just talk tomorrow,” you sighed. “Can you drive? Do you need me to call your manager? A taxi?” You pulled out your phone. “No,” he placed his hand over yours to stop you from calling whoever it was, “I just really want to talk. I want to fix this.” Hesitating a bit, you decided to let him into the apartment, figuring you should hear what he had to say. After all, he did wait outside for you when you thought he wasn’t willing to fight for your relationship.

You two settled down on the couch after you fetched him some water. “I really am sorry. I realize now how you must be feeling with all of this. I’m sorry I made you feel like you were second to her.” “Then why do you still go running after her? Why do you prioritize her so much? Her parents’ shitty ass divorce happened years ago. She doesn’t need to be coddled anymore! She has a boyfriend for fucks sake, why does she have to go out looking for you?” You got up the couch. “Love, it’s not that simple! I wish I could explain it all to you, but that would be an invasion of her privacy!” “Bullshit Hongjoong! This is all complete and utter bull shit! Why are you so fixated on her and her needs? What about mine? What about when I need my boyfriend here? To come coddle me?” “Really? When have you ever needed coddling? Every time you feel down, you push me away! You want to be independent so bad! Maybe you should be!” “What?” Afraid of where this was leading, your eyes began to tear up. “Maybe we should break up…” he looked down at the floor. “No! You don’t get to break up with me over this! I do! I’ve put up with your bullshit friendship with that woman, so I get to do this! I am the one breaking up with you! I’m the one letting you go!” You abusively stabbed your chest with your index finger as your eyes let loose of the tears. Ironically, his phone began ringing. He took one quick glance at it before putting it back inside his pocket. “For fuck’s sake, just fucking go to her already! Run to her as you so desperately want to!” He just looked at you with a sad expression. “Just be honest with me,” you looked at him with pleading eyes, “do you love her?” You were honestly afraid of his answer. “I do, but—“ you cut him off after getting the answer you expected of him, but expecting it didn’t make you hurt any less. “Get out! Just fucking get out Hongjoong! I don’t ever want to see you again!” You threw the water bottle at him as he made his way out. He knew you like the back of his palm. He knew he fucked up and that no explanation, not that he could give you one, would help you two recover from this. So he did the only thing he could do that night: to disappear from your life as much as he could.

As much as it pained him, he found himself in his car driving off to his friend’s. You couldn’t possibly fathom what had happened that night, or why he had to urgently leave. But he had no one to blame except himself for always running away from you when his friend needed him. Hitting the steering wheel as he drove, angry at himself for letting the best thing he’s ever had go. “Fuck!” he screamed into the silence of his car, coming to a complete stop when he approached a red light. Resting his hands on the steering wheel, followed by his head. He couldn’t comprehend why his heart hurt so much that he wished to rip it out of his chest. The tears that flowed down his face a burning sensation. He wanted to give up completely in that moment. To just turn back time to where the two of you were still in the warmth of your bedsheets, wishing he hadn’t woken up. All this felt surreal, to go from being in his happy place with you to living a nightmare of having to steer clear from you. Even if he moved across the world, the distance wouldn’t be enough. He’d still want to run back into your arms and make everything alright. A car honked behind him as the light had turned green, he wiped his tears along with his runny nose before he proceeded to drive.

Stepping onto his friend’s doorstep, he knocked on the door. “Hey, you don’t look so good. Are you okay?” She reached out to cup his face but Hongjoong shooed her hand away. “I only came to tell you to not call me ever again. I’m done.” Hongjoong walked away. “Wait! I can’t raise this kid alone! Please Joong!” She hugged him from the back. “You can and you will. You’ll be fine. And stop calling me that, we’re not in a relationship for you to be calling me by my nickname.” He undid her grip from his waist and left her standing on her doorstep. Even though he wanted to run to you and tell you he completely cut his friend from his life, he knew he couldn’t. Nothing would make you take him back after he hurt you so badly. All he could do now was drive back to the dorms.

Meanwhile, you were a mess. It had only been a few minutes since he left but you could only assume he went rushing into her inviting arms. That he was happy while you were miserable on your bed. It was already past midnight when you felt a migraine creeping in, knowing you’d have to call in for work in a few hours, you decided to put on another movie. The migraine, however, won and made you fall asleep in the middle of the movie. The only thing that woke you up the next day was your coworker who had worriedly called your phone about 100 times, that being an exaggeration of your own. “Hey babes, are you okay? You didn’t come in today, did something happen? Did you and Hongjoong fight?” A stinging sensation arose in you as you heard his name. Your burning eyes couldn’t produce any more tears, as if you were dried out of your liquids. “Uh, no, I’m just feeling sick today. I should be feeling better by tomorrow,” you lied. “Okay, if I don’t hear from you soon, I’m coming over.” You let out a forceful chuckle, “okay,” and hung up the phone. Forgetting to close your curtains last night, the sun, brighter than most mornings, illuminated your room. You took this as a sign to get up and do something productive around your house. You sighed when you walked around remembering that you had just finished cleaning it yesterday, instead you went into your closet with a gym bag. You began packing every little thing Hongjoong had left behind in your apartment, down to his toothbrush. You decided it was time to take this step since you were serious about not seeing him again. It started off with you folding his clothes neatly into the bag, but as you came across the clothes you gifted him, you began just throwing the clothes in there. The room only became suffocating the longer you stayed in there to pack his belongings. Taking a break from it all, you went to the kitchen, preparing a small snack with water to replenish from your dehydration. You sat on the small dining table, that’s when you took notice of your picture frames displayed around your apartment. Most of them were pictures of you and your now ex. You just couldn’t get a break from all of this so you made it your mission to finish packing by today. After your very needed break, you grabbed all of your pictures, throwing them [carefully] in the bag. Only keeping your favorite one hidden in your closet, the pain of discarding it encouraging you to do so. What you initially thought would be one bag, quickly turned into four. This shocked you as you hadn’t noticed how deeply rooted he was in your life.

The ache in your heart only grew bigger when you saw the building to his dorms appearing bigger in your sight. You were too much of a coward to confront him at work, so you decided to drop off the bags at the dorms, knowing well he wouldn’t be there. As you stepped out of the elevator, his roommate emerged from their dorm, flashing you a big smile as he recognized you. “Hey Y/N,” the man you knew as Wooyoung waved to you. You forced a smile back with a wave. “Awe man, you just missed Hongjoong. He went to work really early this morning. Something about needing to write down lyrics for a tune he came up with last night.” He looked down to the bags you had placed by your feet, “is that for him?” “Uh, yes. Do you mind putting it inside?” You picked them up, walking closer to him. “Yeah, no problem,” he walked to you to help you carry the bags, taking all four from you. “I have to go now,” you smiled and turned around. “See you soon,” you stopped in your tracks his words catching you off-guard, “yeah, see you…” you couldn’t bring yourself to say ‘soon’ knowing fully well it was a lie. The taxi ride back home was all too quiet, but as it turns out, it was all you needed. You felt like you could breathe again now that you got some closure. What you didn’t know was that it wasn’t the closure you needed.

Once inside your apartment, you were determined to fill the void that he left behind. Now that you no longer needed the drawer, you contemplated whether to throw it out or to store it. Your heart not fully being able to take in the pain of you two being over, you decided that the latter was less painful. As you moved the furniture out to the living room, the doorbell rang. Cautiously, you made your way to the door, hoping it wasn’t him coming to grovel again. “Babes, open up. You haven’t answered your calls and I’m only growing worried for you. Talk to me, yeah?” Relieved to hear your friend’s voice through the door, you opened the door for her. Strangely, your emotions overcame you when you saw her and you fell to the floor, a crying mess. No longer being able to contain your sobs along with tears that appeared out of nowhere. “Oh sweetie,” your friend joined you on the floor, hugging your body, trying her best to provide you with comfort. She could tell something was really wrong with the way you have never showed any sign of “weakness” in front of her. “I fucking loved him so much, why am I the one who gets betrayed this way? Was I never good enough for him? Or was I just too blind to see he was never going to choose me over her?” “No sweetie, don’t blame yourself. Don’t beat yourself up over this. He is the blind one for choosing her countless of times when he had a treasure in front of him. Trust me babes, he’ll regret his decisions one day. It’ll come back to haunt him when he least expects it.” She helped your zombie-like state off the floor. “Have you ate?” She sat you down at your dinner table when you shook your head. “Let’s get some food in you, yeah?” She looked through your fridge, taking a few ingredients out to whip up something for you. You thanked the universe for sending you an angel like your friend. She had been there when you needed her the most, helping you recover from your heartbreak. You felt indebted with her for life. Jokingly, you told her you’d be her first-born’s god-mother. Funny how the universe works, the face on your friend’s face only shocking you, “how did you know?” She looked back to you. “What? What are you talking about?” Trying to understand what she meant, you looked at her. Only when your eyes fell on her hand that was on her lower stomach did you realize what she was trying to tell you. “I came here to tell you, but you took me by surprise with your situation. I didn’t want to make this about me.” Running to her, you went to hug her, crying once again, “I’m so happy for you.”

Time passed you by so fast. Suddenly you were attending the baby shower you had planned for your friend. As you walked through the venue, checking with the guests to make sure they were comfortable, making sure they didn’t need anything, your friends approached you. “Hey, you look good,” one of your friends mentioned. “Thank you. You do as well,” you complimented back with a smile. “Sorry to bring this up, but you are okay now, right?” Your other friend asked. You knew she was only concerned about you, but you couldn’t help but wish she hadn’t brought it up just as you felt like you were finally healing from the pain that Hongjoong left you with. “Yeah, I’m doing so much better now.” “I’m here whenever you’re ready,” their mutual guy friend added. He had been trying to get with you the moment your friends introduced him to you. You were thankful to your friends for trying to put you out there, frankly, you weren’t ready for that yet. You let out a playful laugh, “you’ll be the first to know when I’m ready,” you half meant it. You considered to give him a chance once you were ready to get back out there. He was a good guy with you, much different than him… He made sure to go at your pace. He wanted nothing more than for you to be comfortable around him. Leading to him often waiting for you to initiate any contact, but you never really did. You didn’t want to lead him on unless you were sure of your feelings. You managed to slip away from your friends and went to the bar that your celebrated friend insisted on having. Her excuse to you was that, “just because I can’t drink doesn’t mean the rest can’t. Just add it for them. For you. You never know, you just might need a drink or two.” She just so happened to be right. Your energy depleted, you felt the need to get a drink. Right as you received your drink, your heart dropped lower than the pit of your stomach as you caught a glimpse of a man who looked a little too much like him. In a discreetly manner, you followed him, only to be even more disheartened. It truly was him, and he was with her, except now she had a huge belly, had to be nearing birth. Leaving your heart a reopened wound. Out of all things you could have imagined, the idea of him cheating never crossed your mind until now. You gave him too much credit because even seeing them in front of you, looking at each other so fondly, you still couldn’t help but make excuses. Maybe he didn’t cheat. Maybe he only got with her after he lost you. There was no way that what he felt for you was never real. Except you have all the proof you needed right in front of you. With that, again, you felt a single teardrop fall onto your cheek. Still staring at them both, finally noticing when Hongjoong turned around to see you, making eye contact with you. He was the first to break it by walking away only after whispering something into the woman’s ear. You knew you were the one who told him you didn’t want to see him anymore, but you wanted an explanation of what you had just witnessed, so you followed.

It wasn’t that he tried fleeing away from you, willingly, at least. He only wanted to ensure he kept his promise of staying away from you, as per your request. He wanted to stay so bad, to go up to you and hold you again as he used to 9 moths ago, but he knew he couldn’t. He knew that his presence alone would only taunt you, more-so that he was accompanied by his friend. He mentally cursed himself as he made his way to the parking lot, beating himself up remembering your expression, he knew he had hurt you once again. He had told himself he wouldn’t contact you first, even if he was so close a couple of times. Only until you contacted him first would he talk to you. Not for petty reasons, nothing like that, but instead to allow you the space you needed. Even if it meant you would never contact him. A sudden thought popped up in his head. Without a second wasted, he went against all he promised himself and went running back inside the building. He needed to clear something up.

You had walked around the whole building before giving up when you couldn’t find him. You leaned on the hallway outside of the venue, catching your breath. The feeling you were feeling right now contradicting what you had previously told your friends. You clenched your chest, trying to keep your composure to go back into the party. You made your way back inside the venue, but your heart and legs had another idea, pulling you away from the venue. Speed walking towards the entrance of the building only stopping when you saw Hongjoong running inside. You both paused, locking your eyes with each other. Everything about that moment felt like a movie, down to the way that time seemed to slow down. You approached each other slowly, neither daring to break the silence, that is until you saw a tear rolling down his cheek. “Why are you here? I didn’t add you to the list of invitees.” You hadn’t meant to be harsh, but you only had one thing that you wanted to really say. Instead of beating around the bush, “congrats by the way. On the baby that is.” Hongjoong shook his head, “it’s not mine. That’s why I came back inside looking for you. To clear that up.” He walked closer to you, keeping his eyes on you attentively, making sure to not scare you away. “I figured that’s what you thought when you saw me. Your expression gave it away,” he stopped mere feet away from you. “I’m ready to tell you everything. The reason I kept going to her. Personal matters and all. No more keeping stuff from you. Of course, only if you’re willing to hear me. But not here, I don’t want to cause a scene at your friend’s party. And to answer your question, she was the one who invited me.” Hesitant at first, you saw the fondness in his eyes, which is why you followed him to his car, making your way to his dorm. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him, instead you settled for staring out the window. “You do realize you left her at the party, right?” You rested your head on the window, still looking outside of it as it began raining. He sighed, “I’m sure she’ll find a way back home.” His response shocked you, making you sit up in your seat. “Don’t be too shocked,” an inaudible chuckle left his throat, “she’s really not my top priority.” He quickly glanced at you and your expression before driving into the parking garage.

Sitting on the couch across from you, he cleared his throat, forcing you to face him, “can I just start off by saying I’m sorry,” he looked dejected. “I truly have been miserable without you, I hope you believe me.” ”Even if I do believe you, that doesn’t change the fact that you ran after her countless of times while being with me.” “I know,” he sighed, bringing himself closer to the edge of the couch. “I know this isn’t much of a rational excuse, but you have to understand, in the moment I felt that I had to.” You let out an exasperated laugh, “you had to?” “Yes… her boyfriend was very abusive. The night you and I argued, she had called me crying because she had found out she was carrying his child. Not wanting her kid to meet the same fate as her, she decided to leave her house, to stop the cycle before it became more serious. But she was too afraid to take that step on her own. She needed a push, and a place to stay at in the meantime. I helped her pack all of her things that day and took her to one of her friend’s house. Both me and her friend encouraged her to report him to the police, though, they didn’t help much, we were able to put a restraining order on her boyfriend that same day.” “If you had settled everything that day, then why did she call you again at night?” You hadn’t noticed the tears that rolled down your face until Hongjoong sat next to you, wiping them away gently with his thumb. “She was afraid of the idea of raising a child alone. She had thought she wasn’t strong enough for that yet.” “So she called you to co-parent with her? Ha, I knew it,” you fidgeted with your fingers, looking away to hold back the rest of the tears that threatened to fall. “No—On the contrary, she wanted me to talk her out of giving up on her baby. She’s dating the friend that took her in. He’s a real good father figure already and the baby isn’t born yet. Y/N, please look at me…” it came off not as a demand, but a plea. He held your chin to make you face him. “Me and her are nothing more than friends, I mean it.” “What about when I asked you if you loved her? You told me you loved her…” Your voice now wavering. “Is that why you came with her today?” “I—“ he sighed, “I meant it. I do love her. But I’m not in love with her. I only came with her because I owed her an apology for ending my friendship with her the way I did that night.” A silence overcame you both momentarily, “I’m sorry,” your voice barely audible. “I feel like a fool for not trusting you.” “Don’t apologize. I know I didn’t help by keeping all those secrets when I shouldn’t have. I know now that there shouldn’t be any secrets between us…” he hadn’t used that word in so long, yet it felt right and wrong at the same time. He didn’t know if there was still an “us” to claim. To him, you wouldn’t accept him back, all he could hope for is for you to accept his apology.

You threw yourself at him, hugging him tightly at his words. You so badly wanted him back and the fact that he referred to you both as “us” was the perfect indication that he wanted the same. Or so you assumed. You took his face in your hands, looking into his eyes, searching within them the answer to your assumption. His soft gaze encouraged you to kiss him. He placed his hands on your shoulders stopping you right after you tried to deepen the kiss. “I’m sorry, I can’t,” Hongjoong pushed himself off of you. “Why? Why can’t you?” You looked for an answer in his eyes. “I don’t want to hurt you,” his head hung low. “You can’t hurt me any more than you did 9 months ago. You sat up on the couch. “I want you Hongjoong. No, I need you,” you stood up, slowly undoing the zipper on the dress you were wearing. “Please, not here. Not like this…” he rushed you two to his dorm before your dress could fall to the floor.

His room still being filled with pictures of you two, pictures that held beautiful memories. “You still have them” you held a picture frame of you two, one you had packed in the bag you returned to him. “Of course,” he approached you from behind, wrapping his hands around your waits, leaving a trail of wet kisses down your neck to your now exposed shoulder. This brought tears to your eyes. He really does love you the way you loved and still love him. “You were the best thing that has happened to me.” You leaned your head to the side, giving him more access. Holding the back of his head with your right hand, closing your eyes, taking in the moment. Hongjoong helped you walk towards his bed, never detaching himself from you, not wanting you to slip from his grasp once again. Swiftly turning you around, he guided you to sit on the edge of the bed. Kneeling down before you, wiping away your tears that threatened to fall. “I need you to stop me if this isn’t what you want. Because this is what I want. I want a future with you. I want more than just forever with you. If we take this step, just know I’m not letting you go again. I will fight to the death for you.” You nodded, “this is what I want Joongie.” He quickly attached himself onto you, the kiss being very needy. With a hand to the back of your head, he urged you lie down on his bed. Treating you the entire time as if you were a fragile object. His left hand roaming down your side, reaching your panties, gently assisting you out of them. For each piece of clothing he took off from you, you helped him out of one of his too. Lying fully exposed on his bed, you waited as he grabbed a condom from his drawer. He slid the condom on, fixing himself back on top of you. “It’s not too late to back out love,” the latter word brining you such bliss, you pulled him into another kiss. “I wouldn’t back out for the world.” He nudged at your entrance, entering you painfully slow, allowing you to get used to the sudden stretch. You gasped when he was fully inside you. His movements were slow, causing a small sting on your heat. “Let me know if you feel even the slightest discomfort love.” He moved a bit faster, taking a few moments to kiss you ever so passionately. Never once detaching your hands from him, that is until you saw the sweat forming on his forehead. You helped him into a new position that allowed you to ride him. You planted your hands on his chest as you moved your hips up and down. The new position aiding him to be deeper in you, bringing you to loll your head back with your eyes closed, enjoying the feeling all too much. “My beautiful lady,” he reached out for one of your hands, bringing it closer to his lips, giving it a gentle kiss, “I love you.” At his confession, you slowed down, fluttering your eyes open as you brought yourself to face him again. “I love you Joongie,” you intertwined your fingers with his as you made your way down to kiss him. He let go of your hands only to fully embrace you, deepening the kiss once more. He reached for your hips to help you move against him, brining you both close to your high. You were the first to reach your orgasm, brining you almost to a complete stop. His hands, still on your hips, assisted your movements once again, allowing him to chase after his.

You laid next to him, both your chests heaving. Hongjoong went into the bathroom, coming back with a small wet cloth. He placed it at your heat, letting you warm up to it so he could wipe you clean. After cleaning himself up too, he lied down next to you, taking you into his embrace. You smiled at the man, overjoyed that you were in his arms again. “You should consider yourself lucky. You’re the only one I like to have skin-ship with.” The room was filled with your laughter. Happiness spread across both your faces now that you were back together. “I have something for you,” he left the room for a few seconds. “I made this thinking of you,” he settled down next to you again, giving you the usb in his hands. “Untitled (choose you)” was written on a piece of tape that was attached to it. He had composed a beautiful song describing how he felt for you. It was, if not, the best gift you had ever received. Well, a close second. The universe gifting him back to you was your first best gift.

#ateez #ateez fanfic #ateez imagines #ateez smut #ateez x reader #hongjoong #hongjoong smut #hongjoong fanfic #hongjoong imagines #hongjoong x reader #hongjoong x y/n #kpop smut #kpop imagines #kpop fanfic #kim hongjoong #ateez angst #hongjoong angst #kim hongjoong angst #kpop angst

224 notes · View notes

khjcs · 18 days

Note

wait bc hj is yn’s friend this time around. this means he won’t be an asshole this time, right? i hope😭

Re-read all of Wanblyn in one sitting and god I forgot how much of dick Joong was at the beginning of it.

It also made me kind of just fall in love with him and y/n again and the entire story. It was soooooo good

GLAD YOU LIKE IT !!

lmao yea the ending kinda makes up for joong in the beginning *cough*andthejoongfrommypreviousseries*cough*

5 notes · View notes

khjcs · 21 days

Text

Don't You Want Me?

warnings:18+, unprotected sex, jealous hongjoong, roommate au, face grabbing, roughish sex, lusty bitches, mutual pining, idiots in love, hair pulling, overstim, oral ( m & f receiving), lil possessive nothing crazy but im feeling disgusting lol, pussy slapping( once..), dirty talk, spit play,

summary: You and Hongjoong have been roommates for a while and friends for even longer. Over time he’s realized his feelings for you and now they can't be ignored. He asks you to accompany him to a release party hoping to find it within him to tell you his truths. When you get a little too close for comfort with one of his members, he decides how he’ll finally tell you.

word count: 7.4k (my bad ;-;)

a/n: this is my first time attempting Ateez, so I hope I did okay! i love feedback good or bad. also our requests are open if interested! have a great day everyone :3 ~nero

Your eyes slowly blinked open as you awoke to the sun peaking through your blinds and exasperated groans coming from across the hallway. Forcing your body to sit up, you rubbed the sleep out of your eyes and begrudgingly removed yourself from your warm sheets. Walking across the hall you opened up Hongjoong’s door.

“What’s with all the noise?”

He almost didn’t notice your presence, but with the sudden extra light coming in through the door he looked up. You jutted your head forward, raising your eyebrows waiting for his response. He clicked the spacebar on his computer pausing the track he was working on.

“Huh?”

You rolled your eyes.

“I said, what’s with all the noise? I could hear you groaning in my sleep. Damn near woke me up.”

“Well, it’s almost noon so you need to be up anyway. But to answer your question, I can’t layer these tracks the way I’m hearing them in my head.”

You walked into his bedroom sitting on his bed, not wanting to stand in the doorway anymore. He turned around to face you and you pointed towards his computer motioning for him to play the track. He took his headphones out of the input and turned up the master volume on his computer. You closed your eyes listening to the track.

This was something that happened often between the two of you. Hongjoong would get frustrated with a track and you’d come in and offer your opinion cutting away at some of the edge he was feeling. As you listened to the demo he was working on you caught on immediately to the hiccup he was talking about.

“Pause..go back like 5 seconds.”

As he clicked back to where you said you let the audio play through before you told him to stop the track again. Humming the instrumental to yourself, you started thinking about how you would construct the section.

“You might not like it but what I would do is allow a little bit more space before the riser. And then maybe do some low pitch snare hits at the beginning of the riser. Right now I think there’s just too much going on and that’s why it’s not coming together.”

He turned back around in his chair and input the changes you said and rolled the track back a little bit to hear the difference. Lightly moving his head with the beat he paused the track again and turned back to you.

“How do you do it?”

“It’s 'cause I’m not the one staring at it from scratch. I’m not as frustrated with it.”

He nodded his head and swiveled the chair back around to save the file.

“I agree this sounds better but I still think something is missing. Thank you, for your help though.”

“Anytime. You know I’m right down the hall.”

You heard his laptop close and gathered yourself up from the bed.

“Can’t imagine you’ve eaten yet, wanna go grab something for lunch?”

He nodded and you went back into your room to begin getting ready. As you finished your morning routine, you walked out of the bathroom to make the change from pajamas to whatever you were planning to conjure up for an outfit. As you brought your head up from facing the floor, you felt your heart drop to your stomach and your heart skip a beat.

Hongjoong was perched perfectly on the edge of your bed watching you finish your routine.

“Jesus! Scared the shit outta me Joong. Also, get out, I have to get dressed.”

Hongjoong looked up at you, eyes lazy with intent and thoroughly unamused.

“After all these years, you still kick me out. Have you no shame?”

“Shut up, I’ll be done in a second.”

You smiled to yourself as you shook your head trying to rid yourself of the feelings bubbling back up again. It was horribly cliche, but you had a suffocating crush on your best friend. You’d never utter a word to him about it for fear of losing him or at the very least ruining the years of friendship that you created.

Jumping into your jeans, you wiggled the rest of the fabric over your hips and secured the button. You settled on a top that did wonders for your chest, rounding out your boobs and cinching your waist most slightly. Grabbing a sweater from off your floor, you sprayed yourself with perfume before heading out into the main room where Hongjoong was scrolling on his phone.

He heard your footsteps before you could come and leer over his shoulder, but if you were quick enough you would've caught him staring at a picture of the both of you. If you could read minds, you would've been privy to the extensive fairytale life he was imagining with you. As you came over, he swiped out of his photos and locked his phone.

“Ready?”

“Mhmm. Where should we go?”

Furrowing his brow, he thought about all of the food options near your apartment.

“Why don’t we go to that cute cafe down the street?”

“Oh yeah! I’ve been seeing people post all about it. It looks really cute and the food looks good.”

Nodding you both headed towards the door and began the walk to the cafe. As you guys followed the gps on your phone, you almost missed the cafe. It was hidden in plain sight. There was no real sign designated where it was, but when you stumbled in front of it you opened the comically large door to the inside. As you walked in you were met with a cottagecore dream. It was cute and cozy and you could see why everyone had been obsessed with it lately.

You guys ordered and were waiting in front of the cashier to finish typing everything in. Reaching into your purse you got ready to put your card to the reader, which had Hongjoong smacking your hand.

“Stop that.”

“But you always pay.”

“As I should y/n.”

You pressed your lips into a thin line, knowing that you weren’t gonna win this time. On occasion, you were able to get him back, but he always seemed to beat you to the reader. As the cashier handed him the receipt, he told you guys that your order would be called out over the speaker in a few moments. Thanking Hongjoong timidly, you guys walked around the cafe looking for a place to sit. Settling on two chairs and a table situated under some fairy lights, you guys got comfortable.

Leaning forward on the table, you rested your chin on your hands.

“Soooo, whatcha thinking about.”

Hongjoong smiled at you lightly, a barrage of sirens sounding in his head at how cute you looked sitting across from him. If anyone on the outside were to see you two, they would easily assume that you were dating. The way you both looked at each other was so obvious you couldn’t miss it on the outside, but for some stubborn reason neither one of you could see it on the other.

Hongjoong leaned forward coming closer to you.

“Funny you should ask. I’ve been meaning to ask you this but it always left my mind.”

You raised your eyebrows, silently telling him to go on.

“So, you know how we have that release party coming up?”

You nodded, eyes layered with curiosity. Now was the time. He had been mulling over this for weeks now and it was either now or never he had to ask.

“I was thinking about it and we’re all allowed a plus one…and I would like that to be you.”

“Oh, word?”

You tried your best to seem unphased and that this would be just another ordinary outing with him, but your heart was accelerating thinking about all of the possible what-ifs of attending with him.

“Yeah. I would love for you to be there. You know you’re always there to help me out when I need it and I think it would be the perfect time to show you off.”

“Show me off?”

Your eyebrow raised, wondering what he meant by that comment. Even though there was a line of friendship between you two, it still felt nice to hear.

“Well not like show you off, ‘casue obviously were not dating but like you come up all the time and I think it would be a perfect time for the guys to meet my mini producer.”

You rolled your eyes at the compliment suddenly feeling a bit of imposter syndrome set in.

“Oh come on, you give me too much credit.”

“But you help me so much and I mean that. I’d probably be bald if I didn’t have you around.”

You paused pretending to think about your answer.

“I’d love to.”

His name was called over the speaker and he went to go grab the tray of food. As he walked away, you were fighting the biggest grin running over his words over and over. When he came back over, your stomach made its presence known with a heavy growl. You guys began to eat making mindless conversation. Everything was just so easy between you two.

As you guys were finishing up, his phone rang. Silently asking him you cleaned up the table setting the tray in its return spot. As you came back to the table he was shoving his phone back into his pocket.

“What’s up?”

“Oh nothing, they just need me at the studio to run over what’s gonna happen for the release party.”

“Oh okay, so I guess I’ll see you a little bit later?”

“Yeah, I hate to leave you but-”

“-It’s okay Joong, I need to go shopping now anyway.”

You guys began walking out of the cafe continuing your conversation.

“Shopping for what?”

“For the party genius, I don’t have anything to wear.”

Hongjoong paused, thinking about the array of outfits he’d seen you go out in before.

“Yes, you do.”

You looked at him a little confused which spurred him to continue.

“That black dress with the leg slit and the mesh center.”

He motioned towards his stomach talking about the last bit.

“But I thought you said you didn’t like that one?”

“Well, you’re gonna be with me so I can keep an eye out for you.”

There it was again. The ten thousand butterflies swarming your stomach. You knew his tendencies and how jealousy was just in his nature. He meant no harm by it, it was just that he cared about you deeply and didn’t want anyone to do you wrong. At least, that’s what he told himself to keep his sanity. He hated knowing others could gawk at you when you went out and he could do nothing about it.

“Okay you have point, and I do really like that dress.”

“So do I.”

“Shut up, you perv!”

“Hey! I’m just being honest.”

He held his hands up in defense.

“Well, anyways I still need to get some makeup but at least I don’t have to worry about an outfit.”

Hongjoong nodded to you and leaned in for a hug before pulling away in the opposite direction.

“Alright, I’ll see you later tonight. Be safe and text me when you get home.”

“I will.”

Smiling to yourself, you walked back towards your apartment, knowing that there was a drug store right around the corner. You didn’t need a lot you just really wanted a new lipliner. Before moseying over all of the colors, you started to think about what kind of makeup look you’d settle on. You picked up a deep brown liner and decided on indefinitely doing a bold red lip and you’d figure out the rest the day of.

Checking out, you walked back to your apartment, somewhat relieved to be back home. You were a homebody at heart no matter how much you claimed to love city life. Kicking off your shoes, you pulled out your phone to text Hongjoong.

Y/N: just got in

You didn’t get a response back but you did get a notification that he hearted the message. You grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and wandered into your bedroom to scroll on your phone. At some point, you felt your eyelids become heavy and you drifted off.

When you woke back up, your room was shrouded in darkness and the apartment was a little colder than usual. As you rubbed the sleep from your eyes, you heard the lock on the front door turn.

“Y/n/n, you home?”

“In here.”

Your voice scratchy and your throat dry from just waking up. You saw the light in the main room flick on and heard him shuffle into your room and he switched on the overhead light in your room.

“Turn that shit off bro, it is so bright.”

“Aw did princess just wake up from her nap.”

You looked at him with narrowed eyes and huddled more underneath your blankets.

“As a matter of fact, I did. And now I’m cold and hungry.”

Hongjoong crawled up on your bed and snuck under the sheets with you wrapping his body around yours, letting his head rest on your shoulder.

“You know, body heat is the best way to warm up.”

“And so is turning on the heat.”

“Okay lemme turn it on then.”

As he went to get up from the bed, stopped him by leaning back into him.

“No, don’t, the body thing is working. How was the studio stuff?”

Hongjoong smiled to himself, and with him behind you, you couldn’t see how wide it was beginning to spread.

“It was alright. A little stressful but we got everything figured out.”

You nodded and you nuzzled more into him. You turned your head to face him as best you could.

“By the way, when is the release party again?”

“Tomorrow.”

You whipped your head around, eyes wide, dramatizing your reaction to his answer.

“Well, at least you told me today, might’ve had a stroke if you told me tomorrow.”

“You’re so dramatic.”

“You love it.”

You were cut off by your stomach growling against Hongjoong’s hand that was resting against it. You both laughed as you looked at each other completely surprised by how loud it was. As you went through your list of options you both decided that it would be more satisfying to cook something at home. Hongjoong got out of your bed first and as you heard the clanging of pots in the kitchen you found yourself wandering after him. As you guys helped each other with dinner, you couldn’t help but relish in the domestic feeling you were feeling with him. Unbeknownst to you, he was feeling the exact same thing. Finishing up cooking you guys decided on something to watch before eating in comfortable silence.

You excused yourself to go through your night routine. When you finished you walked back out to the main room and noticed Hongjoong wasn’t in there anymore. Shuffling to his room, you peeked through his cracked door and saw him posted up in front of his computer again, his headphones sitting around his neck.

“You need help with anything?”

He looked up at you with such a soft look you couldn’t help but fall even deeper into the grave you were digging.

“Huh? No, I’m okay actually. Thanks for checking in.”

“Okie, I think I’m gonna head to bed.”

“See you in the morning.”

He smiled at you before putting his headphones back on. You gently shut his door and walked down the hall to your room where you snuggled up against your stuffed animals and fell into a deep sleep quickly.

When you woke up the next morning, your stomach was in knots suddenly nervous with the idea of meeting the rest of his members and attending the party in general. As you opened your phone you finally saw the time and almost flew out of the bed. Opening your door you saw Hongjoong fixing himself something to eat.

“What time do we have to leave tonight?”

“Like 5ish, why?”

You finally took a regulated breath and calmed yourself down. Pulling yourself out of the panicked state that you found yourself in fresh out of sleep.

“Okay good. You know I need 7 years to get ready, I thought I woke up way too late.”

“You should eat something before you make yourself go crazy in the bathroom though.”

Agreeing you fixed yourself some cereal and then waddled back into your bedroom flopping on your bed, the task of getting ready seemed so incredibly daunting now that you had to do it. You checked the time and it was only 1:30pm. Giving yourself half an hour to dick around, you figured you could get ready in three hours.

Once your precious thirty minutes expired, you groaned the entire way into the bathroom. After brushing your teeth, you turned on the shower gathering all your necessary products. Grabbing your face wash last and throwing on a shower cap, you begin the extensive process that was showering. After you finish your shower, you moisturized your body, and put on your undergarments and a dressing robe.

Before starting your makeup, you grabbed your speaker from your bedroom, turned on some music, and started the painstaking process of making sure your entire face was symmetrical. Deciding on a smokey liner for your eyes, you made sure everything was even.

Before you knew it, the sky outside began to change colors, the hues reflecting into your room turning much warmer than when you started getting ready. You checked your phone and the time read 4:32pm. You took a breath realizing that you still had time. Lining your lips and filling them in with your favorite red lipstick, you rubbed them together, blending the two products. Satisfied with your look you slipped off your robe and left it on the bathroom floor.

Sliding through your racks of hangers, you found the dress you were looking for. Heading back into the bathroom you slipped into the dress, fighting with the fabric as you pulled it over your hips. As you pulled the straps up over your shoulders, you situated your boobs so that they sat higher creating the perfect cleavage. You played with the slit on the dress cinching it a little higher up your leg.

You gave yourself a once over, loving the way the dress hugged your curves before heading back into your room to grab your jewelry pieces. You settled on a small, silver Cuban link necklace that Hongjoong gifted you for your birthday one year, small dangly silver earrings, and a few rings adoring your fingers. Grabbing a clutch and your black, pointed pumps from your closet, you sat in the main room waiting for Hongjoong to come out.

As you sat on the couch he called out for you.

“Y/n! Are you ready?”

“Yup! Just gotta slip my shoes on.”

As you wiggled your feet into your heel, you heard Hongjoong’s shoes clicking from the hallway. He was clad in a pair of ripped blue jeans, a white dress shirt, and a black and white cropped and frayed jacket. You thought he was attractive before but staring at him dressed up had you at a loss for words. When he lifted his head from the floor and his eyes landed on your figure, he couldn’t help but widen his eyes and be in awe of you. If he wasn’t completely smitten with you before, he surely was now.

“You, you look great Y/N.”

“Can say the same for you Joongie.”

He felt his heart melt. Whenever you called him that he couldn’t help but be whipped for you, he wanted you all for him and now he wasn’t even sure if he wanted to share you with everyone else. His thoughts were running wild with nothing but you in them. Your voice pulled him from his thoughts.

“Should we get going?”

“Yeah, let’s go.”

Walking to the parking lot by your apartment, Hongjoong opened the passenger door for you before letting himself in. The drive to the venue was a little silent except for the music coming through his speakers. You were wracked with nerves and were honestly a little more than nervous about the event.

“Y/n, why are you so nervous?”

“Wha-, I’m not nervous!”

“You’ve been silent the whole ride, cmon I know you.”

You sighed, knowing you wouldn’t be able to hide your feelings.

“I don’t know, I guess I just don’t wanna mess anything up for you.”

He looked over at you as he pulled into the venue parking lot.

“Everything is gonna be fine. Besides, when have you ever messed anything up for me?”

“Well, there was that one time-

“-Something serious.”

You were silenced knowing he was right. You took another breath and didn’t even realize Hongjoong had already come to open your door.

“Thank you.”

As you walked to the entrance, Hongjoong had his hand on your lower back keeping you close to him. Walking into the building, there were neon lights everywhere, an array of people, Ateez’s music blasting through the overhead speakers, and of course, you picked out immediately the seven other men you were destined to meet. San noticed Hongjoong first, waving his hand to come toward the group.

You had a large grin on your face, masking your conglomerate portrait of emotions.

“Hongjoong! And I’m assuming this is the special lady we’ve all been hearing about?”

You held your hand out towards San and introduced yourself.

“Y/n, it’s nice to meet you!”

San gently moved your hand away and pulled you into a hug.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you! Hyung here is constantly talking about you.”

Whom you would later find out was Wooyoung, made his presence known by shouting over the music and commenting on how you looked next to his friend.

“Hongjoong! You didn’t tell us she was taller than you too!”

You smiled and chuckled to yourself, feeling slight steam come off of Hongjoong.

“It’s just my shoes!”

San dragged you to the rest of the group to introduce you to everyone to which you realized you had nothing to worry about. All of them were so inviting and greeted you with a near bone-crushing hug. There was someone who stuck out from the rest though.

Seonghwa.

The way his gaze lingered on you, you noticed it from when you walked in and when you were pulled so close to him, his touch loitered on your skin a little bit longer from the rest.

You had to admit everyone single one of them was attractive in their own right and perhaps this is exactly what you needed to get over your little massive crush on your best friend. As the night went on, you got along with everyone so smoothly. The conversation never seemed to have an end.

Every time you spoke though you found Seonghwa’s eyes fixated on you, something Hongjoong noticed as well. You looked around for the bar, desperate for some alcohol in your system to maybe find some courage to approach his leering gaze with the same confidence. Seonghwa noticed this and came closer to you leaning to your ear so he didn’t have to shout.

“You want to go grab a drink?”

“Uh yeah actually. Joong do you want anything?”

Hongjoong’s eyes were cold as he looked towards Seonghwa but softened his expression as best as he could as he turned back to you.

“Yeah, I’ll just come with you guys.”

As you three went to get up Yunho grabbed Hongjoong’s attention.

“Hyung! Wait. We have to go over that prompt before you do anything. You have to give that speech here in a moment.”

His shoulders hunched coming to terms that he had to do his job first before catering to his bubbling emotions. You turned back to him before walking off with Seonghwa to the bar.

“You want your usual?”

He nodded and you and Seonghwa made light conversation over to the bar while you were waiting for the drinks to be made. When the conversation died down a bit, Seonghwa felt that this was the perfect moment to ask.

“So I have to know, are you and Hongjoong a thing? Or is that just him being possessive?”

“It’s definitely just him being him. Ever since we met he’s always been a little bit protective of me. But to answer your question, no we’re not together.”

“He definitely acts like your his.”

“Yeah no, just friends.”

He nodded leaving the conversation there and with perfect time all three of the drinks were finished as well. You walked back to where everyone was congregating and gave Hongjoong his drink. His gaze was still hard but you couldn’t quite figure out why. The music faded out and a light targeted its way to where all of Ateez was sitting. Hongjoong gave his speech and you were nothing but enamored with him.

The way the light was hitting his face, his outfit, the way he carried himself with such elegance talking about his pride and joy. As you were standing off to the side soaking him in, Seonghwa was doing the same thing with you. Drinking you in with every second that he could. When Hongjoong finished his speech, the music faded back in and you looked back over toward the group. Seonghwa with his newfound information about your single status had to seize this opportunity.

As Hongjoong was preoccupied with his members, Seonghwa sneaked off to you.

“Wanna dance?”

“Sure, why not?”

He pulled you down to the dance floor where some other people had the same idea. Feeling the music you swayed with the beat and smiled up toward Seonghwa. As the song faded out, you finished your drink and told him you were going to go grab another. He followed you not wanting to leave you alone. As you guys walked back to the main floor you continued dancing with each other. Seonghwa leaned down to you again.

“You know he’s in love with you right?”

His comment caught you off guard and you sipped your drink.

“What do you mean?”

“If you were to see him from my angle…he wishes he could strike me down right now.”

“Wait turn me so we swap spots, I want to see.”

You did just that but Seonghwa made sure to add a little extra to your turn. When your eyes spotted where the group was sitting you saw how silent Hongjoong was. The way his gaze was now directed towards the both of you.

He was pissed.

You almost felt bad but at the same time, you desperately begged any god that was listening that this would pan out in your favor.

“Wrap your hands around my neck.”

You furrowed your brows

“Just do it.”

In beat with the song that was playing you slowly wrapped your arms around his neck.

“My next question is, do you feel the same way about him? And I already know the answer I just wanna see if you’ll lie to me.”

Seonghwa smirked at you.

“So much so that it’s excruciating to think about.”

As the two of you swayed you talked about your crush.

“Well Y/n, looks like this is your lucky night, 'cause here he comes.”

You felt a hand grace your back and you turned around to face Hongjoong. He tried his damnedest to hide his hardening feelings from you because they were truly directed at Seonghwa.

“I’m not feeling too well I think we should head home.”

“Oh! Okay, do you need me to do anything.?”

He shook his head and you sucked down the rest of your drink throwing the cup in the nearest trashcan.

“Let me just say goodbye to everyone.”

You walked over to the rest of the boys hugging everyone goodbye. When you went to hug Wooyoung, he pulled you a little closer so he could whisper in your ear.

“Hope you know your man is pissed and I hope you get the best sex out of this.”

Your mouth hung open, surprised by his boldness. You pulled away from him lightly smiling.

“He’s not my man Woo.”

“Well, he’s been acting like it! Good luck y/n.”

He laughed and you suddenly felt your nerves settle in your stomach as you walked back over to Hongjoong. Hugging Seonghwa goodbye and began to walk off with Hongjoong.

“Don't forget to text me y/n/n!”

You turned around and waved towards Seonghwa, confused for only a moment before you understood that he was egging Hongjoong on. Hongjoong picked up his speed and borderline was pulling you out of the venue. When you got to the car he opened the door for you but the drive was viciously silent. His knuckles were gripping against the steering wheel turning a forced shade of white.

His breathing was heavy and slow and you felt like if you said anything it would be like poking a stick at an angry bear. You couldn’t bear the silence anymore though so you spoke up.

“Joongie…are you okay?”

He didn’t answer you. You were only a few minutes away from home so when he pulled into the apartment complex you felt a bit of relief knowing you wouldn’t have to have that question linger in the air.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what I did to upset you but whatever it was I’m sorry.”

The air was heavy, suffocating even. Your timid voice dissipated immediately into the tension he was spewing into the air. He got out of the car and walked around to open your door, but started walking a bit ahead of you. You both stepped into your apartment door and you let him in first, locking the door behind you both as you took off your shoes.

“That’s what you call it?”

You almost didn’t hear him, but you didn’t want to make him more upset by having him repeat himself. You didn’t have to ask though, the time you took to respond had him wired up enough.

“I said, that’s what you call it? Not knowing whatever it was.”

“Joongie I can’t know what you're so upset about if you don’t tell me.”

“Don’t ‘Joongie’ me and don’t act like you don’t know. You let him all over you all night and I just had to sit there and watch!”

You paused.

“This is about Seonghwa?”

“No, it’s about Jongho, c’mon y/n you’re smarter than that.”

His tone was frustrating you to no end. He was chastising you for no real reason. It wasn’t like you were dating so why was he treating you as such? You loved him you knew that much but every time someone so much glanced at you, you had to deal with some sort of small outburst like this.

“Joong it’s not like we’re dating, I don’t understand why this is bothering you so much.”

“Because you’re mine y/n! You’ve always been mine! And every time I have to sit back and watch you possibly find the feelings that I feel for you in someone else it drives me up the fuckin wall. I can’t stand seeing you with someone else and I-”

“-Hongjoong I-”

“No! Let me finish. If I have nothing at least I can have the peace of knowing that you finally know.”

Your heart was in your ears. You felt like you were underwater and slowly watching yourself begin to drown. He was confessing and you didn’t know whether to feel overjoyed or scared at the thought that everything you wished for was happening at such an intensity.

“And I love you. I can’t watch you hold somebody else when I love you with a passion that suffocates me while I sleep. If you don’t feel the same way, I understand but I can’t keep living without you knowing.”

Now it was your turn to be silent. You stared at him like a deer in headlights unable to form a response for him.

“Well don’t just stand there, say something! Please.”

You went to open your mouth but nothing came out.

“Oh, fuck it.”

Hongjoong walked over to you, clearing the short distance that was between you two. His hands encased your face and his lips covered yours. Your eyes blew wide for only a second before relaxing completely into his touch. You returned the kiss with equal fervent, curling your nails into the nape of his neck. His kiss became more urgent and he bit at your lip pulling it with him as he pulled away.

He looked at you trying to read your features. Your eyes were glistening with a mixture of lust and love and there was heat you could feel rushing to your face as you gazed back at him. Lust was evident in his eyes but none of the hardness that he was harbouring earlier. He tucked a piece of your hair behind your ear.

“Don’t you want me?”

His tone was pleading, his eyebrows curling upwards. Everything about him begging to hear a similar response from you. When you finally spoke his heart began to beat again.

“Hongjoong, I’ve wanted you since I met you and I don’t know how you missed all my signs. But I swear if you don’t take me now I’ve got a text message to send.”

He grabbed your hand and dragged you down the hallway into his bedroom. He pulled your body close to his once again, pressing his lips firmly against yours. His hand fingered its way through your hair and he grabbed a fistful of it. A weak moan left your mouth and he pulled you away from his.

“I don’t ever want to hear you say his name again.”

You carded your hands through his Styx colored hair, smirking up at him.

“Make me forget it then.”

It wasn’t a growl, but it was a sound that reverberated in the depth of his chest before he pushed you onto the bed. You scooted more towards the center of the bed as Hongjoong crawled over you. His lips attacked your jawline, trailing down to your neck where he began sucking crimson marks distinctive to him, claiming you for anyone to see.

His hands traveled down to your breasts and he played with your nipples through the fabric of your dress as he continued his assault on your skin.

“Hongjoong please.”

“Oh, now you wanna beg me? What happened to that text message, hmm?”

“I don’t, I just want you. Only you. Please.”

He chuckled against the space where your neck and shoulders connect, the warmth of his breath sending goosebumps up your body. He raised himself on his hands looking you in the eyes. His hand came up to caress your face, his thumb grazing across your bottom lip. You opened up your mouth so that his thumb slipped in and you began sucking on it. Your eyes glazed over in lechery. Your hands trailed down his body and rested on the hem of his jeans, hooking your fingers into his belt loops bringing him closer.

He removed his thumb from your mouth and went back to teasing your nipple. You whined, attempting to writhe your body against him.

“Open.”

It took you a second to register his words, but you looked up at him with wondrous eyes and opened your mouth slowly.

“Wider.”

Nothing would’ve prepared you for the wad of spit he aimed in your mouth nor the asphyxiating grip your pussy reacted with. You swallowed without any command and opened your mouth again for another take.

“Wanna know how I know you’re mine? I didn’t have to tell you to do that. You’re just filthy enough to take whatever I want to give you, isn’t that right, baby?” The pet name had you squirming. The ring it had coming from his mouth had you wanting to cling to him for the rest of time. He snaked down your body and bunched up the skirt of your dress so he could easily remove you from your underwear. He dragged his finger between your slit, gathering not even a fraction of your arousal. The pad of his finger gently swiped over your clit and your body jumped due to the sensitivity.

“Aw, is my girl a little sensitive?”

You mewled out, words not forming correctly in your mind.

“Is this all for me y/n?”

“Mhmm”

You writhed against him hoping that it was enough to satisfy him. The slap against your pussy led you to believe otherwise. You moaned out and pushed yourself to your elbows to look down at Hongjoong.

“I said, is this all for me?” “Yes, yes, yes! It’s all for you Joongie. Fuck it’s always you~ah!”

He swiped his tongue up your slit ringing your precious little bell with his hellish tongue. He pushed your legs further apart and his fingers toyed with your entrance.

“You want it?”

“Hongjoong, please! I want you to do whatever you want. Make me yours.”

You whined out finding it harder and harder to keep your composure. Hongjoong entered two fingers into your decadent cunt, your warmth wrapping around him like a tender blanket. His tongue kept a perfervid pace on your clit, bringing you dangerously close to your edge.

“Hongjoong, I-I’m gonna.”

You were panting, your words barely forming enough to be heard. Hongjoong took your affirmation and used it against you, pulling his fingers and his tongue away from your heat. You whined and writhed against him, in clear distress from the lack of him.

You got up and he pushed you back down with a searing kiss. The taste of you, tart and something faintly sweet on your tongue. You pushed back against him and you rolled him over so that he was lying on his back now. You kissed him on his jawline and bit at his ear, pulling gently at the skin. You moved off the bed and shimmied out of your dress, presenting all of your glory in front of him. You crawled back up on the bed and unbuttoned his pants pulling them down his legs.

“I want you in my mouth so bad.”

He lifted himself from the bed, removing his jacket and throwing it somewhere in his room. You fumbled with the buttons on his dress shirt, but you needed to see all of him. With the final button undone, he threw that behind the both of you and your attention was back on the bulge fighting against the fabric of his underwear.

Slowly pulling them down, you dropped them off the bed and eyeballed his length.

“Can I?”

“Don’t let me stop you, baby.”

You let a glob of spit fall onto his head before you licked him up from base to tip. Hollowing out your cheeks you found praise in the frequency of his moans. You twisted your tongue around his shaft as you bobbed up and down his length. When you looked up at him he was already staring you down.

“Fuck, y/n! You’re so good. You’re so so good.”

You picked up your pace, intent on making him cum and making him cum quick. His moans became louder almost turning into whines. He sucked the spit through his teeth and tried to calm himself down.

“Baby, baby, slow down I’m gonna cum.”

But you weren’t listening, you had no intent to. Hongjoong wrapped his hand in your hair and pulled you off of him.

“You don’t listen do you?” “Maybe you should teach me how.”

You smiled completely fucked out, your mouth swiped with saliva.

“Get on your back.”

His tone was domineering and you love every drop of it. He brought himself down to your nipple sucking on the tender skin. You moaned out needing more from him.

“Joongie, please. I need you inside of me. I need to know what you feel like.”

Your eyes were pleading, you truly needed nothing more in this moment. He lined himself up with your entrance before teasing you and sliding his hot and needy cock between your folds.

“Joong please, don’t tease me~ugh!”

He filled you up so nicely. You could feel every inch of him and the stretch you felt from his size was indescribably delicious. He started with long, slow strokes allowing you to feel every bit of him. Your hands found refuge on his back, your nails leaving red marks of ardor in their wake.

“More. I need more Hongjoong.”

He picked up his pace but it still wasn’t enough for you. You needed him to be rougher with you, you needed him to claim you and make you never forget where home was. You grabbed his face with both of your hands and forced him to look directly into your sex-blown eyes.

“Joong, I need you to fuck me like you mean it.”

Something in him broke. His dam of reservations crumbling with your words. He wanted to be sweet with you and forget about the earlier moments of the evening. But with every bratty comment that left your lips, he simply couldn’t. He flipped you on your hands and knees and began pounding you from behind. The cry that left your mouth was one of pure pleasure. You could feel him hitting the parts of you that made you insatiable.

The tip of his cock was bruising your g-spot leaving you in a sex drunken stupor.

“Who’s pussy is this?”

“You~ah!”

“Who’s pussy is this y/n? I’m not asking again”

“It’s your’s Hongjoong! Fuck it’s always been yours, baby.”

Tears were welling up in your eyes from the pleasure you were feeling.

“Hongjoong baby, I’m gonna cum!”

“Cream all over my cock baby, let me feel how good I make you feel.”

That’s all you needed to be sent over the edge. His cock was making you dizzy with lust and you didn’t know if you needed a rest or more of him. Hongjoong already made that decision for you though, fucking through and after your orgasm, wildly overstimulating you.

It was almost too much to handle and you started crawling away from his pistoning hips. Hongjoong grabbed your hips and pulled you even closer to his fiery drives of pleasure.

“Stop running. This is what you wanted, isn’t it? To fuck you like I mean it.”

He leaned over you pressing your head into the mattress. His thrusts became more erratic and rougher and you could feel his cock begin to twitch against your seraphic walls.

“y/n, where do you want me?” “Fuckin hell, inside of me Hongjoong. I don’t wanna forget who I belong to. Fill me up please, Joongie.”

His cum shot out of him at a rate that even surprised him. It colored your walls, making its own rapturously beautiful painting. You were now his color and couldn’t ask for anything more. You flopped down on the bed, your body spent from the adrenaline you were banking on. Hongjoong kissed your cheek and spoke against your skin, his breath sending chills up your spine again.

“You’re mine, baby. Now, wait here, I’ll be right back.”

You didn’t plan on moving, completely spent from the moments prior. Hongjoong came back into the room with a warm cloth and cleaned you up as gently as he could. Not wanting to cause you any discomfort. He left the rag on the floor and climbed up next to you and you wrapped your body around him resting your head on his stomach.

“Say the words.”

He looked down at you.

“What words?”

“What do you want me to be to you?”

“My girl.”

You paused looking up at him giving him the most obvious of hints.

“Will you?”

“Thought you’d never ask.”

You sat up and looked at Hongjoong.

“Are you hungry?”

“How’d you know?”

“Well, we didn’t really eat at the party or before we left and it’s now…11 at night.”

You both chuckled and you looked at him thinking of what would be open this late and still be good.

“Pizza?”

“Sounds good.”

“Okay, you order I’m gonna go pee.”

When you looked at yourself in the mirror you felt a sense of relief and pride wash over you. Your post-sex glow gave you something else to gawk at besides the fact that it was this timeline where you would get to be with the one person you thought you could never have.

2K notes · View notes

khjcs · 27 days

Text

@hongrizoon thanks for thinking of me🥹🫶🏼

• what you want — the weeknd

• coming down — the weeknd

• arriba — ateez

• reveal — the boyz

(no pressure) @luvt0kki @smt-here

my attempt at starting a chain !!

what song(s) are you currently hyperfixating on

mine are "Left For Dead Lullaby" by Mori Calliope, the entire "Upside Down" and "Duality" albums by Set It Off, and "Rich Kids [Middle Cla$$ MIX]" by New Medicine

tag your silly little mutuals <3

@sillydeafwitch @1amhumans

336 notes · View notes

khjcs · 29 days

Text

this was so fucking cute😭 im cryinggg the way mingi was out there suffering, hes such a lovesick puppy🥹 speaking of, that’s what they were giving, PUPPIES NOT GROWN ADULT DOGS😭

[12.33] poly!golden retriever!yunho × black lab!mingi × reader

⇀ where your pup boyfriends are just so... them...

⇁ @khjcs LOOK WHAT YOU DID AMY and @starlitmark I MADE IT QIEBDJDND

genre : hybrid!au, poly!au

wc : 1.1k

Usually you'd spend the weekend just lounging around, being lazy with your two overgrown pups of boyfriends but unfortunately you had errands to run because work took up the majority of your time on the weekdays so all appointments had to be pushed to Saturday and Sunday.

Though your boyfriends are golden retriever and black labrador hybrids, you were the one who woke up first at the sound of your alarm. But as you moved to turn your alarm off, an arm snaked around your waist and a face was nuzzled into your stomach affectionately.

"What are you doing?" Yunho grumbled as he tightened his grip around your body. You cursed at yourself silently for not being careful when you reached over Yunho to get to your phone. "Sorry Yuyu, go back to sleep," you hushed him, patting his head gently to lull him back to sleep which seem to work because his eyes fluttered his eyes close and his grip around you loosen. With Yunho back asleep, you carefully get out of the bed but still managing to accidentally nudge Mingi's leg slightly, causing his ears to twitch and head shot up in alert. He said nothing as he blinked confusedly at you but after some time of you and he just staring at each other in silence, his eyes drooped and he fell back asleep. With that, you were able to escape and take a shower.

It didn't take long for you to shower but when you opened the bathroom door, you nearly shrieked and slipped when you were greeted with the sight of your boyfriends in the hallway. Yunho was sat with his back on the wall and Mingi had his head on Yunho's lap, fast asleep while Yunho's eyes opened at the sound of you coming out of the bathroom.

"What are you two doing here? You should be in bed," you pouted, crouching down in front of the two to cup Yunho's face in your hands. He smiled and shook his head, "I wanna see you before you leave," then Yunho looked down momentarily at Mingi, "He said he doesn't like the cold bed," and you chuckled at that because it was so incredibly a Mingi thing to say. But still, your boyfriends needed more rest because of their own jobs and you would prefer to see them well rested. So you stood up and motioned for Yunho to grab your hands so you could pull him up and with the movement, Mingi slowly stood up and pressed his face onto your shoulder, having to bend his body due to the height difference and the fact that he was barely conscious. "Back to bed," he mumbled, tugging you along to your shared bedroom only to hear you chuckle and felt you shaking your head, "No baby, you go back to sleep with Yunho, I have somewhere to go to," you patted him on the back as you waved Yunho close to your huddle. Yunho happily wrapped his arms around you and Mingi and you couldn't help but giggle when you got a peek of their wagging tails. "I'll be back sometime later so you boys get some rest, don't forget to eat, be good, and I'll see you soon, okay?"

Once you saw them nod at your words (Yunho with understanding and Mingi with sadness), you gave them both long kisses on their heads and shooed them back into your shared room, patting their butts affectionately before leaving the apartment once they were settled and you were fully ready to go.

The whole time you were gone doing your errands, you couldn't help but kept a look into your home CCTV from time to time, curious at what the boys were doing. At 10:27, Yunho emerged from the room and immediately planted his butt on the couch, trying to regain some consciousness. At 10:43, Mingi joined Yunho in the living room but instead of sitting on the couch, he spread his blanket and plopped a pillow that looked suspiciously a lot like yours and laid in the middle of it. Then at 11:38, you saw that Yunho and Mingi were lying side by side in the little blanket nest that looked a bit messier than before, talking about what they were going to do until you come back home. At 12:49, you looked into the living room CCTV only to find your boyfriends missing but as you moved the camera, you saw Yunho heating up the leftovers from last night and just as you were about to look for Mingi, his face popped up in the whole frame, almost causing you to drop your phone and scream in public. "I KNOW YOU'RE THERE LOOKING AT US (Y/N) COME BACK HOME, COME BACK HOME NOW PLEASE I WANT YOU HOME, I NEED YOU HOME," he yelled into the camera before getting pushed aside by Yunho who grinned happily at the camera, "Don't mind him baby! You go do your stuff, okay? I miss you! I love you! We're gonna have lunch soon!" It was a good thing that you got a camera that allows you to talk into it because you could see the food he was heating on the stove was starting to smoke and both of your boyfriends were still too focused with the camera. "Yunho, baby! The food!" Thankfully, Yunho zoomed to tend to the food and Mingi got distracted by the chaos so you were able to leave them be.

Your errands ended at around 2 pm and by 2.31, you were already walking back into the apartment.

"I'm home!" You called out as you took off your shoes and by the time your shoe was neatly stored, you heard heavy pads of feet getting louder before you were suddenly pulled into a warm embrace and spun around. Though you were busy squealing and giggling, you were still able to identify that it was Yunho who had greeted you first.

"You're back! You're home!" He said happily as he placed you down and began peppering your face with kisses. If all the affection and skinship didn't make you giddy, surely seeing his tail wagging nonstop with such power that you thought it was going to create a tornado.

Upon letting you go, Yunho stuck by your side quietly, tailing after you as you grab a drink from the fridge, helping you grab a mug and just let you have your time before settling down with you on the couch. As soon as your ass hit the cushion and you finished taking a gulp, Yunho pulled you into his arms and nuzzled your cheek with his.

"I'm so glad you're back now," he sighed happily, like the lovesick... well, puppy he is. You chuckled and patted his fluffy hair in return of his very adorable confession, "I'm glad to be home too, Yuyu. I sae you heating up lunch so I assume you and Mingi had eaten?" He nodded, still not letting go of you, "So what have you two been doing?" "Gaming mostly. Actually, Mingi is-"

As if on cue, your other boyfriend came out of the room designated for his and Yunho's gaming and other nerd things (that you lowkey took pride of as well), grumbling and stomping until he flopped down on the floor with his face on the ground. He looked adorable with his flopped ears and limp tail, seemingly trying to become one with the hardwood floor in his despair.

"I miss (y/n), I miss (y/n), I miss (y/n), I miss (y/n), I miss (y/n), I miss (y/n), GOD, I miss (y/n)," he babbled to himself, not realizing that you had came home. You tried suppressing your laughter while Yunho raised an eyebrow at him, "What are you talking about?" Mingi huffed as he proceeded to lift his upper body from the floor, adjusting his own body position to glare at Yunho only to realize that you were sitting on the couch, looking at him with such fond eyes. "(Y/N)!" he screeched before practically leaping into your arms, carelessly throwing his body on you and Yunho who got kneed in the stomach. His scolds towards Mingi fell on deaf ears because despite being nagged that he should have been more careful, Mingi was too busy trying to fit himself in your lap while smothering you with kisses as he told you time and time again how much he missed you.

Never would you have ever known that being suffocated to death with affection was better than, well, anything else. And you have your two excitable boyfriends to thank.

network :

@cultofdionysusnet @sandsofire @kflixnet @pirateeznet

taglist :

@kodzukein @phenomenalgirl9 @skzatzloveismonsterous @memorymonster @surveilenceysystem @dreamlesswonder86 @maddiebabyxoxo @imababywolf @do-you-actually-care @marievllr-abg @ilsedingsx @wasteitonserendipity @bbymatz @noonaishere @honeyhwaaa @ateezourstars @yoonjunshi @yoongiigolden @camillelafaye @charreddonuts @kpopnightingale @starryunho @atinct @mirror-juliet @hyuckilstan @jayb17 @kpoplover718 @haatohwa @x-bluee @erinaimeexx @blackb3ll @mingiholic @angelicyeo @vampcharxter @meowmeowminnie @marvelous-llama @kawennote09 @hongjoong-lovebot @stopeatread @spooo00oky @jwnghyuns @asjkdk @shinotani

507 notes · View notes

khjcs · 1 month

Text

super duper pretty — kim hongjoong

in which you haven’t heard from him in years but a single drunk phone call ends up with you tangled up in your bed.

musician!kim hongjoong x fem!reader. genre. angst, suggestive, friends to lovers. warnings. drinking, tension, kissing, suggestive content. wc. 4k. rating. pg-13.

lilo’s notes. AGHDHSJDJJAJDJSJDHSJS GRRRR WOOF WOOF AWOOOO GR AHHHDHDHDHHDS

listening to. right here, chase atlantic.

masterlist.

you weren’t someone hongjoong could bring himself to think about much these days. despite having known each other since childhood and been best friends, he hadn’t spoken to you in three years, too caught up in his thriving music career.

album, tours, interviews, collaborations. it all kept him busy and away from you. his chase for stardom had him isolating and distancing himself from friends and family. and, sure, it was shitty, but he didn’t have time to dwell on the people he was told would hold him back. he didn’t have time to regret it. regretting leads to stagnating and stagnating would lead to the end of his career.

that’s not to say he didn’t miss you. of course, he did. but on the last day he spoke to you, it ended in an argument he didn’t have the energy to resolve. so, he left. he left you.

him not having time to regret it was more an ideal rather than a truth.

in reality, he regretted leaving you more than anything else.

but three years later he still hadn’t talked to you, afraid it would ruin his pride if he came running back to you. yet he couldn’t deny how he felt like he was on top of the world, the best producer and rapper in the scene. his career was thriving and his newest album topped charts across alll platforms. when all the interviews and promotions were finally over, he decided to treat himself ot a little celebration, renting a club in town and inviting every major celebrity he had connections too.

the night was spent dancing and throwing back shot after shot until he could barely stand. he enjoyed it at first, but slowly the effects of the colourful drinks made him feel much too hot and cramped in the sea of dancing bodies. making sure no one noticed, he escaped through a back door into the cold, fresh air. he felt the sudden urge to leave, but in his drunken state it would be difficult to navigate his way home.

without thinking, he slumped against the red brick wall and pulled out his phone, dialing a number he’s always know by heart. it rang three times before the person picked up.

“hello?”

hongjoong didn’t realise how much he missed your voice until you uttered that word so softly. he could picture you somewhere in your appartment, maybe in the kitchen to get a snack, tilting your head in confusion at the unfamiliar number.

“hey,” he really didn’t know what else to say, staring intently at a leaf on the ground.

you went completely silent on the other end and for a moment he thought you’d hung up. but, eventually, you spoke again, only this time a certain firmness to your voice.

“what do you want?”

“come pick me up,” his words slurred and molded together and you had a hard time unnderstanding him, sat stifly on your couch, “please, i need you to pick me up. just… just this once?”

you didn’t know what to say. you wanted to scream and yell at him and demand a proper explanation as to why he just walked out of your life like it was nothing, but at the same time, you wanted to sob and confess how much you missed him.

still, you couldn’t help but ask, “what the hell happened, hongjoong?”

"i- i'm drunk," he slurred, sounding even worse than before as he shuffles his feet on the floor pebbled floor. "like, really, really drunk," he insisted with a quiet groan, but you already came to that conclusion. "come pick me up… please?"

you stood up from your couch, pacing around you living room as you listened to him speak before stopping by your window and looking out into the night sky. he was the last person you thought would call you at this house, not having heard from him in three years. but here he was, drunk and begging you to pick him up from god knows where.

“fine.” you said simply, swallowing down the lump in your throat as you grabbed your coat from the entrance of your apartment and slipped on some shoes, not bothering to change out of your nightwear. “where are you?”

“um,” he looked around. the back door led into an alley, but if he walked off to the right he’d be right by the entrance. with his free hand supporting him on the wall, he did his best to get there. “outside the, uh, club,” he explained, though it was really helpful, “by the-” he cut himself off with a sigh, resting his forehead against the wall and squeezing his eyes shut in frustation of his lack of clarity, “the red one.”

your eyebrows furrowed at his vague description as you got to your car, getting into the drivers seat and just sitting there until he could give you a proper answer. “the… red… one?”

“it’s got, um,” he looked around the surrounding area, spotting a familiar place just across the street, “in front of that café we used to go to?”

“oh.” you recognised that, hesitating for a moment before starting the car, unwanted memories of the countless hours you spent with him there clouding your thoughts. all the talking and studying and laughing. “find somewhere to sit.”

“okay,” he nodded to himself, taking some steps to a wooden bench and pointing at it as if you could see, “i’m gonna sit on this thingy.” his drunken stupor had him laughing at himself as he takes the final steps to sit down. he swayed a little but not enough to make him lose balance and fall. once sat, he nodded and grinned at nothing in particular, just proud he was able to manage the simple task you gave him. “i’m sitting.”

“good, great,” you hummed approvingly, holding back a smile at his antics, “now… just hang tight, i’ll be right there, okay?”

“okay.”

it felt good to sit here, he realised with a sigh as he leaned back and tipped his head to look up at the stars. the gentle caress of the night air and the dimmed sounds of the city around him a soothing backdrop to the chaos in his head.

a silence followed his words, tense but not uncomfortable. the red exterior of the cheap club came into view soon enough and you slowed to a stop to park in a free space. you got out of the car and looked around until you found a familiar figure sitting on a bench tucked below a little tree. you hesitated again for a moment before walking to him as slowly as possible, your heart pounding in your chest. he hadn’t noticed you yet, having shut his eyes at some point.

it took you some long moments but you finally pulled yourself together and cleared your throat, making him startle as you muttered a tentative, “hey.”

he glanced toward the sound of your voice, blinking away the drunken haze as he attempted to focus on the world around him. his vision unclear and unfocused as looked up at you, struggling to recognise you for a moment. the bright streetlights made his head ache a little; the world a blur and all he could do was struggle to focus until he could see you properly, the familiar feature snapping him back to reality.

you shifted back and forth on your heels awkwardly, waiting for him to say something as he just stared at you, face flushed and intoxicated. your hair was messy and you wore shorts and a loose light grey sweater. you wondered if he even recognised you, or were you just a stranger to him?

“you came,” he breathed after a while, eyes taking in every detail on you. he focused on you; the way the moonlight caught on your skin, the soft furrow of your brows and subtle downturn of your lips. your eyes, his favourite eyes in the world, looking back at him. “you actually came.”

“you called,” you answered, almost breathless as you also took him in. his style looked a little edgier than when you’d last seen him, though still as chic as ever. short bleached hair, the corners of his sharp eyes smoked out.

“i did,” he nodded, attempting to stand up before slumping back again, “but you actually came.” the alcohol made his words feel heavy, pushing them out in soft sighs as his eyes locked with yours again. he grinned stupidly, “you’re like, pretty.”

you almost laughed at his words, shaking your head lightly, “and you’re like, drunk,” you scoffed jokingly, “come on, it’s late, let me get you home.”

“no, i mean,” he whined, pouting dramatically and now you weren’t sure if the pink tint of his face was from the alcohol or something else, “you’re like super duper pretty.”

unsure of how to respond to his compliment, you only chuckled nervously and offered him a hand to help him get up. “come on.”

he stared at your hand for a few long moments before grasping it and standing up with your assistance. he stumbled a little but caught himself as you led him to the car. your nudged him to get into the passenger seat as you walked around to get into the driver’s.

it was dark in your car, your face dimly illuminated by the screen that displayed a map of the area. you look even prettier in this light, he thought, the sharp shadows making your features stand out that much more. your cheeks soft and round and your eyes sparkling with reflections in a way that made his wander all over you.

neither of you said anything for a while as you sat there. seemingly lost in his drunken daze, he realised how familiar this felt, being there with you, just you and him. everything felt right. he let out a soft hum before leaning back, tilting his head back against the seat and closing his eyes.

“my place is closer than yours,” now that he wasn’t looking at you, you felt comfortable enough to break the silence. finally buckling your seatbelt, you tried to ignore the way butterflies swarmed in your stomach at the thought of his eyes on your body, “you can stay for the night, if you want.”

“do i get the couch?” he turned his head to peer over at you as you start the car, “or…” he giggled, “or… we can share the bed.”

you raised an eyebrow at him, surprised at how flirtatious he was being. “we’ve shared before so, i guess… if the bed is more comfortable for your then i’m fine with sharing it.”

memories of your late night excursions with him rushed back to you and you briefly wondered if he would touch you the same as you laid together. would the feeling of his hand in yours bring you the same comfort? or the protective grip on your back or thigh? you don’t mention any of it.

“let’s just share,” he whispered back. he sounded tired, though if asked he could probably go on a ten page rant of how much he missed being close to you.

he, too, thought of all the night you spent together. the laughs and the touches that felt so real. he remembered how comfortably you would fit in the same bed, laying side-by-side and watching random movies until dawn broke. how easily you’d fall asleep as you shared blankets, face mere inches away from each other but never quite touching.

he wondered if it was possible to relive those times, gazing over at you for a moment before shaking his head and look out the window. those were nothing but drunk fantasies.

“okay,” you whispered back, trying not to look at him, trying not to shiver at the softness of his voice. a little slurred, but still soft.

he was always like that with you. soft.

people would mistake the two of you for lovers more often than not when they first met you, but it was always denied with flushed cheeks and awkward giggles. and it was true. no matter what was said or done, you always remained just that. best friends. it was for the better, made things much less complicated. especially when he took off and you never saw him again.

at least, until now.

the silence in the car was palpable, broken only by quiet breaths and the low hum of the car. it was a calm silence, mildly comfortable despite how heavy it felt, weighted down by all the things unsaid.

eventually, you slowed to a stop and pulled into your parking space in front of the apartment building you lived in. turning off the car, you got out and beelined for the entrance. he knew where to go anyway, not looking back at him as you led the way to your apartment.

the door opened to your living room and kitchen area, just a little messy since you weren’t expecting anyone to come over anytime soon. you made quick work of shucking off your jacket and placing your shoes aside, telling him to wait for a moment before you disappeared through a hallway he knew led to your bedroom.

you returned quickly, a pile of folded clothes in your arms that you held out to him, explaining he had left them a while ago. his body itself didn’t change much, so you figured they should still fit. you didn’t want his sweaty dishevelled suit on your bedsheets.

as he changed, you paced back and forth in your bedroom nervously, thinking about all the possible things that could happen. but you stopped quickly when you heard the bathroom door unlock, practically jumping to lay in bed. you tucked yourself into one side of the large bed, covers pulled up to your chin as you face away from him.

you heard him pause for a moment before you felt the bed dipping behind you and the covers shifting as he blanketed himself too. despite there being a considerable amount of space between you, you still felt him body heat brushing against yours in the thick silence. even though you can’t see him, you knew for a fact he’s probably laying on his back to look at the little glow-in-the-dark stars you stuck to my ceiling years ago and never took down.

you sighed and whispered, “hongjoong?”

“uh-huh?” he hummed, eyes closed for a moment before he turning his head to glance at your back.

you squeezed your eyes shut, taking a deep breath before finally asked the thing you’d been dying to know. “did you ever miss me?”

“more than anything,” he breathed and you felt him shift to lay on his side, facing you. he wanted nothing more than to reach out and hold you like he used to. his voice held a hint of melancholy but he didn’t elaborate more.

you turned too after a moment, not taking a second to notice just how close he was, the thick white covers shifting slightly from the movement. your voice quivered slightly as you spoke, eyes stinging with welling tears. “i missed you too, you know… i missed you every day since you left and every day i hoped you’d come back. but you never did.”

his heart clenched at you admission, the voice he loved so much threatening to turn into sobs. the truth was, he wanted to, countless nights sat alone, wishing he turned back to knock on your door.

“i-i wanted to,” he stammered, whispering ashamedly.

“it’s fine, i got over it,” you forced yourself to focus on the pillow under his head instead of his handsome face.

his brows furrowed as you averted your gaze, eyes following yours even if you refused to look at him. he knew you well enough to know when you lied. he knew you well enough to know you didn’t get over it. didn’t get over him. he mumbled, “did you really?”

your lip trembled at his question but you kept your gaze locked on the white fabric, pressing them together to get them to stop as a few tears spill over the corners of your eyes.

you shook your head, your little voice breaking with overwhelming emotions, “n-no, i didn’t.”

you shifted your look to his hesitantly, your skin tingling from his warmth. your eyelids fluttered as you tried to hold back the tears.

"don’t," he whispered, thumb slipping down to caress your jaw. his eyes searched yours, your eyes wide with sadness and something he couldn’t quite understand. "don’t hide it. you don’t always have to be so strong. not in front of me.”

those words snapped something in your mind, no longer able to swallow down the lump in your throat as you threw yourself into his inviting arms, yours wrapping around his neck as you sobbed into the slope of his shoulder.

“why- why did you leave, w-why didn’t you come back... p-please, i need to know.”

he didn’t expect the sudden break down, but still held you close. one hand at the back of your head, the other holding you by your waist, your bodies pressed against each other and he let his lips press against the top of your head, making you shiver.

he rubbed your back, letting your tears fall wherever they man, muttering reassurances iagainst your hair. his faint scent of whiskey and mint mingled with your vanilla shampoo, his eyes shutting at the oddly comforting mix of smells. you felt him press repeated kisses to your messed up hair.

sobs racked your body for a few more minutes before the tears stopped falling and your breaths evened. you nodded against him, pulling your head away from him to look up at his face, at his eyes. the hand at the back of your head slipped forward to cup your cheek again, brushing his finger along your skin. he traces your cheek bone and along your harline down to your jaw, his eyes shifting between yours in disbelief that his skin was on yours once again.

“i was afraid,” he admitted, barely a whisper, “i was afraid that if i came back, i’d fall for you more… and then i wouldn’t have been able to spend a day without you, wouldn’t be able to chase after my dream. but… at the time, i didn’t recognise you were part of it, you know, my dream.”

your breath hitched as the words registered, “you- what?”

you cut him off with something you'd been wanting to do for a while; you kissed him, hands holding either side of his face. his eyes are widened in surprise, though he didn’t hesitate to lean into the kiss, returning it as quickly as you did it. his hands tightened around you, pulling you as close as he could.

your lips fit against eachother so perfectly, like the lego sets you’d force him to build with you when you were younger, every curve and edge of your bodies slotting together naturally. he got lost in the sensation of finally getting what he dreamed of, a hand slipping below the hem of your shirt to hold onto your bare waist, just wanting to feel closer to you.

his mouth tasted of exactly what he smelled like, mint and traces of whiskey, whimpering against his lips as you welcomed the taste and the touch. your whimper unlocked something, the kiss growing more urgent, restlessly pushed against each other without air left between. you could barely breathe, but you didn’t care as long as his lips stayed locked on yours for as long as possible.

but eventually, he bit down on your bottom lip ever so slightly before pulling away, catching his breath as you caught yours. your chest heaving as you refilled your lungs with air, face flushed from the realisation of what you just did and from the thought of what else you might do.

he glanced down at your swelling parted lips, jimmy coated by your mixed saliva, his pupils blown wide with desire.

“i wanna…” he mumbled, breath unsteady, “i want to…”

he wasn’t sure what he was trying to say, at least not until he noticed the way you peered up at him expectantly with that curious gaze. “what is it, joong?”

that nickname. he hadn’t heard it in a while. three years, actually, because you were the only one that called him that. his eyes searched yours.

“i want to do that again,” he admitted, cheeks warming, “and again and again and again… and so much more than just that.”

your breath hitched, intestines tied into knots as you struggled to figure out what you should say. the truth was that you wanted that too, wanted to feel his lips and hands all over your body. but, as his breath fanned over your face and you caught the traces of alcohol folded into the smell of mint gum, you were reminded that there was a thin possibility he didn’t mean any of it.

“you’re drunk, joong… it’s better if we don’t.”

he frowned, his grip on you loosening. “but you want to, don’t you?” he countered, “you know you want this too, so why not?”

“i just-“ you paused to sigh, continuing with an even tone, “i just don’t want you to regret anything.”

“i meant every goddamn thing i said,” his brows furrowed for a moment and he squinted, trying to emphasise his point, “so, i can’t regret this. i can’t regret you.“

you bit your lip, thinking carefully before sighing, the tension leaving your body as you played with the string of his hoodie.

“how about this…” you suggested, speaking slowly, “if you can wake up and tell me you remembered all this, then we can see where this goes.”

“and if i don’t, you’ll never mention in again?”

you nodded, slightly anxious as you wait for him to agree. it didn’t take too long, seemingly an acceptable compromise for him as he nodded.

“okay,” he agreed, his hand on your waist beneath your shirt tightening once again, “let me just kiss you one more time though, i won’t be able to sleep if you don’t.”

you laughed at his silly excuse, forehead dropping against his shoulder for a moment before lifting to look at him again with a grin that made you feel so stupid and in love. “fine, just one more time.”

networks. @cromernet @wonderlandnet @cultofdionysusnet @pirateeznet @atzhouse

permanent taglist. @ad0rechuu @sankatchu @mlink64 @yeosangsbb @seonghwasbbgirl @likexaxdaydream @dreamingofyeo @yalyallic @yunhoswrldddd @coffee-addict-kitten @thunderous-wolf @chngbnwf

903 notes · View notes

khjcs · 1 month

Text

kim hongjoong according to the tumblr tags — happy hongjoong day 2023! 🏴‍☠️🐿️🎂

1K notes · View notes

khjcs · 1 month

Text

this is so softtttt🥹 very comforting, i love it.

This is perfect

"This is perfect" - [ fluff ]

masterlist

-- genre: fluff

-- word count: 400+

content warnings: none, i think <3

mars notes. should i make a mini series of ateez x fem!reader (fluff n angst)..?? idk. anyways, i honestly just thought of this and HAD to write it LMAOOO. Anyways Hwa fluff!!! <333 i love my boy sm.

The weekend sun spilled through the kitchen window, painting a warm glow across the countertop where Seonghwa meticulously arranged a bouquet of sunflowers. He hummed softly, a melody you recognized from ATEEZ's latest album, a playful smile tugging at his lips. You leaned against the doorway, watching him with a fondness that never failed to surprise you.

"Those are beautiful," you said, your voice breaking the peaceful silence.

Seonghwa spun around, a startled gasp escaping his lips before morphing into a sheepish grin. "Y/N! You scared me half to death."

He gestured to the sunflowers, their cheerful faces mirroring his own bashfulness. "I, uh, thought maybe some flowers would brighten the day."

You couldn't help but melt at his shy gesture. Stepping closer, you inhaled the sweet scent of the sunflowers. "They're perfect, Seonghwa. Thank you."

His gaze softened as he watched you. "Anything for you."

The air crackled with unspoken affection, a comfortable silence settling between you. You reached out, brushing a stray sunflower petal from his cheek. His eyes fluttered shut at your touch, a shiver dancing down his spine.

"What do you want to do today?" you asked, tracing lazy circles on his arm.

Seonghwa opened his eyes, the warmth in them making your heart skip a beat. "Honestly, I just wanted to spend some time with you. No schedules, no deadlines, just us."

A contented sigh escaped your lips. Weekends with Seonghwa were your favorite escape from the everyday hustle. You nudged him playfully. "Well, how about we ditch the kitchen for a bit? We can have a picnic in the park, weather's perfect for it."

His eyes lit up. "Picnic sounds amazing! Let me just grab a blanket and some snacks."

He disappeared into the living room, returning a moment later with a picnic basket overflowing with goodies and a large checkered blanket slung over his shoulder. You grabbed two water bottles and a frisbee, a mischievous glint in your eye.

The park bustled with weekend life, families picnicking under the shade of trees, children's laughter echoing through the air. You found a secluded spot beneath a sprawling oak, its branches weaving a canopy of dappled sunlight. Seonghwa spread the blanket with practiced ease, his movements a testament to many previous picnics.

You unpacked the basket, a symphony of colorful treats that made your mouth water. Sandwiches overflowing with fresh ingredients, juicy fruits, and a decadent chocolate cake Seonghwa had snuck in as a surprise.

As you devoured your lunch, conversation flowed effortlessly. You shared stories about your week, Seonghwa listening intently, his laughter warming your heart with every chuckle. You teased him about a particularly chaotic dance practice, his playful protests making you erupt in laughter.

The afternoon stretched out in a lazy haze. After lunch, you challenged Seonghwa to a frisbee duel, your competitive spirit igniting. He proved to be a surprisingly skilled opponent, his throws landing with pinpoint accuracy. You chased after the frisbee, the playful competition leaving you breathless and exhilarated.

Finally, exhausted and happy, you collapsed back onto the blanket, side-by-side with Seonghwa. The sun began its descent, painting the sky in hues of orange and pink. You turned to him, a comfortable silence settling between you once more.

Seonghwa leaned closer, his hand reaching for yours. His fingers intertwined with yours, sending a jolt of warmth through you. "This is perfect," he murmured, his voice barely a whisper.

You squeezed his hand in agreement. The simple act of being with him, bathed in the golden glow of the setting sun, made everything feel perfect. In that moment, the world around you faded away, leaving only the two of you and the unspoken promise of a love that bloomed brighter with every passing day.

As the last rays of sunlight dipped below the horizon, you and Seonghwa walked hand-in-hand back towards your car, the promise of another perfect weekend already forming in your minds.

24 notes · View notes

khjcs · 1 month

Text

Die For You - Hongjoong

Pairing: Hongjoong x fem Reader

Genre: smut with plot, plot with smut

Word Count: 7.4k

Summary: When enemies infiltrate the castle, you and your guard have to flee to a hiding spot deep inside the building. But a sudden appearance of enemies leaves your guard deeply wounded. As you tend to his wounds, you can't ignore the rising tension between the two of you any longer.

Tags/Warnings: Hongjoong as your guard, Royal au, San makes an appearance as an evil assassin, blood, death, violence, pretty detailed knife fight, the knifes don't make it into the bedroom though so no warning in that way, dirty talk (a little derogatory), oral sex (both receiving), unprotected sex (this is purely fictional pls use protection if you mess with your security guard), cumming in mouth I've never written any kind of royal or not modern setting before so bear with me. How do you dirty talk in that kind of au??

The darkness from outside spread over the floor in front of you like a disease. Seeping black all encompassing every step as you ran along the abandoned hallway. You didn't know if the darkness was comforting because no one could see you, or terrifying since you couldn't see much yourself.

The royal guard had decided to extinguish all the torches to confuse the enemies after the invasion began. As soon as the first intruder was spotted, chaos had broken loose. Immediately you were removed from the banquet. Accompanied by only your head guard you were supposed to flee to your second bedroom, which was hidden away deep in the maze-like corridors of the castle as a hiding space.

"You should get rid of those shoes, my princess. They are making quite the noise and I don't imagine them being comfortable either," your guard recommended. His voice was lowered so that the sound wouldn't carry too far.

In the haste of the moment you hadn't even thought of the clacking noise your shoes made with every step. But now you were very aware.

"You're right," you replied in a whisper and stopped to take off your heels. You thought about carrying them but before you could take a single step further your guard snatched them from you and threw them out the nearest window. You stared at him dumb-foundedly.

"If we leave them here it's a clear trace to you and they are only in the way if you carry them," he explained. A slight hint of annoyance clung to his voice as if he was getting impatient with you.

"They were pretty though," you complained under your breath while resuming your path.

You didn't overhear the snort behind you. "I'm sure you can simply buy new ones, my princess."

There was a certain teasing tone to his voice now. It's what you liked about Hongjoong. Even though he held the most important position in your personal guard he didn't treat you like the other guards did. He still let his character show through on the edges of his tough exterior. A smirk that was hidden away in the darkness formed on your face.

A sudden noise from behind you made you lose said smirk in an instant. The sound was clearly of clashing weapons and the fight seemed a mere few corridors away. Your heartbeat accelerated at a concerning rate as you threw a glance over your shoulder. The darkness didn't grant you any information but before you could spy any longer, Hongjoong strode beside you grabbing your arm.

"We should hurry," he advised. The stern voice he had when he was carrying out his job had returned as he was spoke closely to your ear.

The close proximity brought shivers to your skin, which you hoped he wouldn't notice as he dragged you forward by your arm. You couldn't help but be intrigued by your main guard's presence, even in moments like these. He had this strong aura around him that only intensified whenever he bickered with you. But that was something to think of at another place and time.

You both made your way through the maze of corridors in a way only people that knew the place like the back of their hand could. But in the middle of your usual path Hongjoong stopped you by slightly squeezing your arm.

"We should take a detour, I have a bad feeling about going the usual way. If our enemies were able to get into the castles there might be traitors amongst us that know their way around."

You simply nodded at him, trusting his judgement without a doubt. Finally, your eyes had somehow grown accustomed to the darkness and you were able to make out Hongjoong's face again. His expression was determined as he led you down a different way from your usual path.

It had grown terribly silent around you. It was probably just because the distance between you and the main disturbance grew bigger but something about it made you feel eerie. Your breaths came shallow now and you were sure Hongjoong noticed too, with the way he cast you worried glances.

As you turned the next corner he stopped you two abruptly. His arm immediately went in front of you and he shoved you behind himself without ever losing his focus on what laid ahead of you. Three persons had appeared in the darkness before you. They also had stopped in surprise but now they were slowly approaching, their dark figures looking like wild animals as they stalked towards you.

"Look what we have here. The cause of all this trouble," a honey-sweet voice announced. It was the person in the middle of the three and as he came even closer you were able to make out some of his features in the moonlight that fell through the high-arched windows. He had a sharp jaw and cheekbones, elegant eyes and to you personally he looked almost annoyingly attractive.

Hongjoong in front of you let out a snort. "San. We meet again like this."

The name caused a cold shudder to run over your back. San was known as the dark knight of the Choi kingdom. His abilities as an assassin were known beyond the borders of his country especially since your enemies used them as a weapon against you. He had already assassinated important diplomats and close advisers of your father, the king.

Having this man in front of you was the worst possible outcome of the evening. Hongjoong however didn't seem to be as frightened as you felt. His hands only went to his belt in a calm manner, pulling out two daggers. You had seen what he could do with those before and the reassurance of the weapons gave you hope again.

"You're going straight to violence? I thought we could talk this out first," San complained in a whiny tone. His attitude made shivers run over your skin. How could you be so relaxed when facing a death battle.

"If you want to talk, I'm kindly asking you to leave. If that's not what you want then you should prepare to die." Hongjoong took a step forward, falling into a fighting stance.

"How optimistic," San chuckled. But then his voice changed to a more threatening tone: "Get her."

What a coward, you thought. Sending his men first instead of fighting himself. But then your thoughts were interrupted by watching the scene in front of you play out.

The two men approached quickly. It was hard to see clearly in the dim light but you were quite sure both of them carried a dagger as well. Hongjoong threw a calculating gaze at both of them before they faced him. He couldn't move around them so that he would only face one because then the other would have a clear way to you. So his only chance was to fight both at the same time.

And that he did. Hongjoong dodged every single slash or punch they threw at him. It looked like he was dancing with them in an endless rhythm of moving around their blades. His movements were fluid like water and you could have even sworn a smug little smirk tugged on his lips as he countered his enemies.

The first one fell as one of Hongjoong's daggers was buried in his stomach. Hongjoong pushed him out of his way with a kick and then faced the second. A fire was burning behind his eyes now, heavy breathing filling the air between the two opponents. It felt surreal to you, how you just stood back and watched it all unfold. Even more so, since San was doing the same in the back, even leaning onto a wall leisurely.

This guy is out of his mind.

San's second accomplice seemed to be a better fighter as he endured Hongjoong's attacks for longer. A quick slash of Hongjoong's knife gave him a deep cut into his arm but he kept going with the other.

The longer the fight dragged on, the more nervous you got. Your enemies were stalling for time and at any second, more intruders could appear behind or in front of you. Your suspicion was only heightened when out of the corner of your eyes you saw San starting to move. It almost slipped past you with the silent way he moved. Like a black cat sneaking its way through the darkness he had moved towards your direction while Hongjoong was busy fighting.

"Hongjoong!" you screamed out in panic, moving towards him and away from San. A grin spread on your enemies face that only heightened your panic.

Turning around at your pleading words, Hongjoong missed a crucial second of watching his opponent. A heavy punch hit him on his cheek as soon as his attention was interrupted. You gasped from the impact and Hongjoong released a heavy groan. But the hit only ignited the fire inside of him more. Without missing another beat he hit his opponent with a kick, making him bend over before he cut his throat without hesitation.

But he had taken a second too long. Before he was able to face San and hide you behind him, an arm had grabbed you harshly from behind, pulling you close to San and holding a knife to your throat.

It was the first and only time you had ever seen a sliver of fear flicker in Hongjoong's eyes. But he quickly controlled himself again and was back to his stern face.

"Now if I were you I wouldn't do anything I might regret later," Hongjoong warned his opponent.

"I can say the same for you," San laughed and pressed the blade closer to your neck making your eyes flutter in fear. You've been hunted by the Choi kingdom ever since you were born. As the only heir to your severely sick father, with you out of the way, the Choi king could finally take over your country after years of territorial war.

The feeling of being chased was so ingrained into your bones that it now rendered you motionless in panic. All you could look at was Hongjoong. His eyes flickering to yours as if checking up on you.

Why is he not killing me already? you thought to yourself. Isn't that what they wanted all these years?

The same thoughts must have gone through Hongjoong's head as he watched his opponent with a calculating gaze. You noticed how his eyes lingered on the hand holding the knife at your throat.

"To make this all the more interesting," San suddenly started explaining: "the young king Choi has changed his mind. He doesn't want to assassinate the princess as he fears the uproar of the people. Instead he wants to marry her."

Your eyes widened in surprise. What on earth was this now.

"You know," San continued. "Make her attend public events and then lock her up for the rest of the year like the little political puppet that she is."

You could practically hear the devilish grin in his words as he finished that sentence. And it seemed to ignite something in Hongjoong. As pure hatred washed over his face, he threw one of his daggers.

The blade approached you as if it was in slow-motion. Hongjoong had calculated correctly. You were so paralysed into your spot that you didn't move a single inch. The blade then bore itself into San's arm, making him drop his own knife.

"Get back, princess!" Hongjoong shouted as he tore you away from San, using the second of distraction after his opponent got hurt. Finally, he had you secured behind him again.

San ripped the blade out of his arm, throwing it to the side without a single sign of pain on his face. There was only anger. Within the blink of an eye the two were at each others throats.

It was the fiercest fight you had ever witnessed. Both of them were not only very talented but also ruthless. They kept up a rhythm of circling each other and then slashing out with their daggers. Both of them suffered small cuts when not dodging in time but what worried you more was that you could see Hongjoong breathing heavy. After already fighting two people he was simply tired out compared to his opponent.

"You know you can't win this," San provoked him, probably hinting at the same realization you just had. "Just give her up already. I might even spare your life."

"This is not about me," Hongjoong replied sternly. They were back to circling each other, catching their breath.

"So dutiful? I never understood you guards. I do this for money and not for the honour. Or are you doing it for her pretty face?" He was smiling devilishly and San's suspicions were proven true when Hongjoong immediately lashed out at him with his knife. San must've hit a spot with his words.

You could sense Hongjoong losing his focus, blinded by rage, and you knew you had to do something. In the midst of their battle you picked up Hongjoong's second knife from the floor which San had thrown to the side. When you turned back around to face them, San had forced Hongjoong against a wall and your guard could barely keep up with the continuous attacks of his enemy.

In a hasty decision you stormed towards San, knife in hand, ready to bury it deep into his back. But you had underestimated him. Before you could launch your attack he managed to hit Hongjoong's hand with the hilt of his knife, making him lose his last weapon. In the moment of confusion he turned around and slashed his knife after you.

"Thought I wouldn't notice you, little thing?" he asked with a smirk before returning his attention to Hongjoong.

He never intended to kill you, he just wanted to ward you off and he succeeded in that as you jumped back in fear. It took a second to settle in but a burning pain pulsated on your lower arm. When you looked down a long slash opened your skin, dark red blood already running down your arm.

Hongjoong was now protecting himself with his bare hands. His arms trying to direct San merciless attacks. He was littered in cuts by now and you felt the crushing fear of him losing right in front of you. Or worse, him dying.

"Hongjoong!" you tried in a last attempt to save the both of you. You knew it would distract him again, but it was the only chance.

Before he could even look, you threw his knife in his direction. Luckily, he caught on immediately and his hand reached for the blade in the fraction of a second. Surprising San for probably the first time this evening, Hongjoong immediately brought down the knife in between his rips, burying it to the hilt.

San's knife fell with a loud clutter. His face was frozen in that last expression of surprise as he fought for air. The knife must have fractured his lungs and, if he was lucky, his heart as well. As he stumbled a step back, Hongjoong give him one last push while pulling out his knife, making San fall on his back. Blood spread rapidly on his white shirt, soaking through the fabric in a fascinating pattern.

"Quick, my princess. We need to hide before more enemies appear."

Hongjoong once again grabbed onto your arm. This time he was careful not to take the one that had been injured. Your eyes were on the dark path in front of you again, trying to get rid off the picture of motionless bodies, that were haunting you now.

It wasn't far until your secret quarters from here. After two more turns you reached the tapestry that hid the door to your hideout. Hongjoong retrieved a key from his pocket to open the lock before he rushed you two inside.

When the door closed behind you and he locked it again, you released a deep breath. A wave of exhaustion washed over you and you leaned onto the nearest table for support, feeling dizzy. Hongjoong first closed the curtains before he lit up some candles. But as soon as soon as he faced you again and saw you like this he was by your side.

"Are you okay, my princess?" His pupils were dilated and he still had a wild expression to his face. The fight still clung to him, the adrenaline not yet washed away.

He took your face in his hand gently to examine you as you looked up at him with big eyes. He had never come this close to you before and you were stunned by the proximity. But as if he had read your thoughts Hongjoong suddenly pulled away his hand again, looking at it in shock.

Swallowing deeply Hongjoong looked at you bitterly: "I'm sorry, my princess. I failed to protect you. We should tend to your wounds."

He turned away from you in search of fresh water and some fabric to care for your injury. You were left in astonishment.

"What are you talking about? Without you I would be on my way to enslavement by the Choi's. You saved both of us!" There was anger in your voice.

"You got hurt, so I failed to protect you." Hongjoong didn't face you yet as he picked up a bucket of water. His voice was stern, regret lacing every word.

Finally, he found some pieces of cloth that he could use for cleaning the wound and turned back around to you. The look in his eyes quite nearly broke your heart. You had never seen him so defeated.

"Sit on the bed," he ordered you gently. "We need to clean your wound."

"You look ten times worse than I do, let me help you first," you insisted in a harsh voice. He was bleeding all over his arms and chest and the punch to his face earlier had opened the skin on his elegant cheekbones as well. You couldn't believe that after all that he cared about your shallow little cut in comparison.

"It's my duty to protect you so let me do my job."

"It's your duty to protect me and I need you alive for that and not dying of blood loss."

Hongjoong was standing in front of you now, looking at you with a stern expression. You stared at each other for a prolonged amount of time. But when you realized he wouldn't budge, you sat down on the edge of the bed with a frustrated sigh. He set down the bucket of water next to your feet, the pieces of fabric still in his hand. For a moment he was just looking at you, eyes boring into yours with an expression you couldn't read. But the intensity of it stopped your lungs from breathing.

"Stop keeping me from doing my job, princess," he said suddenly, with a slight teasing sound to his voice.

"It's not your job to die for me just because you refuse to get help," you answered, thinking of all the possible outcomes of the situation earlier this evening. The fear you felt during his fight.

"But I would," Hongjoong replied in a heartbeat. His tone wasn't teasing anymore now. He was completely serious. Holding your eye contact he sank to his knees in front of you. His hair fell into his face as he landed and looked up at you through dark lashes.

"I would die for you."

With those words he took your arm into his hands. Dipping the cloth into the water he finally started cleaning the blood from your skin. His touch was so gentle you felt like fine porcelain. In contrast, his skin was splattered in blood, not all of it even his own. His shirt was cut up in multiple spots and his hair dishevelled.

You didn't realize you were crying until a single tear landed on your arm, mixing with the blood that Hongjoong was still wiping away. He looked up at you in surprise. His hand twitched as if he wanted to wipe away your tears too but decided differently.

"What's wrong?" he asked in a hushed tone.

"I can't stand seeing you like this," you replied truthfully. "Let me help you too" You sounded pleading now. The desperation even more evident through the tears running down your cheeks.

Hongjoong averted his eyes back to your arm. After a moment of pondering he answered: "Just one more second."

He quickly cleaned up the rest of your blood and bound the cut with a fresh piece of cloth. Then he rose to his feet again. Wiping the remnants of your tears away you also stood up, now shockingly close to Hongjoong in front of you.

Gently you grabbed him by his shoulders and made him sit down on the bed in return. Never before had you realized how beautiful his eyes were until he was looking up at you like he did in that moment. When the intensity of his gaze made your skin burn, you shifted your eyes to his wounds.

"You will need to get rid of your shirt so that I can clean the cuts."

In response he started folding up his sleeves instead. "Only tend to these then," he answered sternly.

"You are bleeding all over and we need to wait out the attack anyway. Let me clean your wounds." Now it was your turn to hold his cheek in your hand. "Please."

His expression softened with the way you held him and looked at him so desperately. He knew he was making a mistake by giving in to his feelings but he still followed your pleads and started unbuttoning his dress shirt. With every button you felt the blush on your cheeks deepening. You hadn't really realized the intimacy of this moment when you insisted on cleaning his wounds. You had only wanted him to heal.

After he discarded the blood-stained shirt to the side, Hongjoong leaned back onto his arms. You couldn't help but let your eyes wander over his exposed body. For once because you were fascinated with the toned muscles beneath his skin. But also because you were terrified by the amount of cuts. Some bigger some smaller, but all of them bleeding over his smooth skin.

"You wanted to help me, didn't you?" Hongjoong suddenly said, the teasing tone returning to his voice by tenfold. Your cheeks grew even hotter as you realized you had stared at him for a little too long.

You picked up a clean piece of cloth and dipped it in the water before you tended to his wounds. Starting on his arm, you soon realized that the injuries seemed endless. On top of that, you had to bend down to him in an uncomfortable position. But kneeling in front of him was not an option for multiple reasons either.

In a fit of confidence you instead settled for a different solution. "Can you move back a little more," you asked Hongjoong matter-of-factly. He looked confused but obeyed to your request anyway.

Before you could regret your decision you then straddled his legs, sitting down on top of them, your long dress splaying over him. Hongjoong's breath hitched for a second before he returned to his usual stern guard appearance, his eyes focussed on a spot in the distance. Only the way his hands gripped onto the sheets until his knuckles turned white still gave away how affected he was by your proximity. You continued working on his cuts as if nothing happened, ignoring the slight tremble of your own hands.

The deepest cut was on Hongjoong's right arm and you bound it immediately so that the bleeding would stop quicker. You then finished cleaning the smaller spots on his chest. At some point you almost forgot that you were touching his bare skin all over.

That was until only the cut on his cheek was left. As you grabbed his face to stabilize your grip, your eyes met. You were closer to him than you had noticed before and your heart skipped a beat as you looked deep into Hongjoong's eyes. Carefully, you started wiping the blood from his cheek. He had such delicate features. You had always thought that his looks didn't match his profession but still he excelled at it. Tonight had only proven that.

When you were done you returned your focus to his eyes. "You're all patched up," you announced in nothing more than a whisper. None of you made an attempt to move even a single inch away from each other even after you threw the bloody cloth beside you.

Hongjoong lifted his hand from behind him, slowly, as if giving you time to react. Then he laid it on top of your fingers, which were still holding onto his unwounded cheek. The touch felt so warm and comforting, yet it drove electricity through your skin.

"Tell me what you want now, my princess," Hongjoong asked you in a low voice that made your insides squirm. He looked at you as if entranced, eyes not being able to stray from yours.

You looked at him through half-lidded eyes, voice straining as you spoke: "You. I want you."

Both of you moved towards each other at the same time and your lips crashed in the middle. Hongjoong's other hand shot up to weave into your hair, pulling you closer into the kiss. The feeling was electrifying. The two of you kissed each other with a desperation that could only come from almost dying earlier this evening.

You had always longed for Hongjoong but now you were dying for him. You wanted every possible centimetre of your bodies to touch and so you pressed yourself even closer to his chest. You couldn't care less if he was bleeding onto your dress or not. He slung his other arm around your waist and pulled you higher up in his lap, obviously sharing the same need.

Parting your lips slightly you allowed Hongjoong's tongue into your mouth. He was skilled with it, making your head swim in cotton. There was nothing on your mind but Hongjoong. All danger was forgotten as his hands held your body tightly. All the hesitation he had shown earlier was lost to his pleasure.

When you ground your hips into him, Hongjoong released a low whine. The sound made you shudder and you felt the desperate desire to hear more sounds from him. Snaking one of your hands behind your back to open the lacing of your dress, Hongjoong stopped your kiss.

His pupils were dilated as he looked at you, lips swollen and wet from the intense kiss. "Are you sure about this, princess?" He had always called you that but his deep tone now made it sound a thousand times better than ever before.

"I've never been so sure about a thing in my life," you replied with a smirk, which Hongjoong reciprocated immediately.

"Then let me take care of this, my darling" he proposed. The new nickname rolled of his tongue so easily but it made your heart flutter tremendously. Seeing him finally break out of his dutiful persona had a weakening effect on you.

He moved his hands behind your back towards the strings of your dress. But you clearly hadn't paid enough attention to his hands as he suddenly cut through all of the lacing at once with his dagger.

A noise of surprise came over your lips as you felt the dress slowly sliding down your body already. Hongjoong marvelled at your expression, a sly smirk resting on his lips. With some of the black strands of hair falling into his face and the candlelight contouring his face he looked so perfect in front of you. You wouldn't ever be able to look at him the same way you did before you had kissed him.

Hongjoong held you by your waist as he got up from the bed. As soon as you were standing, the dress slipped down from your body, pooling at your feet as he continued kissing you. You could only lace your fingers into his dark hair as his head dipped into your neck, placing kisses on the sensitive skin.

"I would love to mark you my darling but I fear that might get us in trouble later," he admitted through a chuckle as his lips travelled over your neck.

"Then do it where people can't see," you replied breathlessly. You wanted him all over you, his lips, his marks, his everything.

Hongjoong pulled back at your words, looking at you with dark eyes. The intensity was similar to when he had attacked San earlier only know his energy was directed towards different purposes.

"Everything my princess desires," he replied, suddenly spinning you around and gently placing you on the bed again.

Before you could say another word he was on top of you, his lips all over your body. Kissing down from your neck towards your exposed breasts, sucking at the skin that was usually carefully hidden benath your dress. He looked up at you through fluttering lashes before taking one of your nipples into his mouth. He circled the tender skin gently with his tongue, making you moan beneath him within seconds.

In the meantime his hands kneaded your skin all over from your waist to your hips. When his lips wandered down even farther, your breath turned shallow. He felt intoxicating. There was so much desire and desperation in the way he touched you that you just wanted more and more.

His kisses turned softer and slower as he made his way to your lower stomach. Through those dangerously glinting eyes he looked up at you for approval.

„Please go on, Joong."

He suddenly stopped his movements. "Joong?" he asked with a low chuckle.

Your face reddened as you realized you had called him a nickname by accident.

"I've only kissed you yet and you're already calling me nicknames?" He snickers. "I can't wait to hear more."

With that he removed your underwear. His eyes glistened as he looked at you before him. Glazed in lust like any other emotion was an impossibility to him.

He looked at you one last time before he lowered his lips to you. He started kissing you softly, barely giving you any stimulation. The softness was unexpected to you, not fitting his tough image. But you soon realized that these weren't acts of carefulness but rather his menacing plan to tease you.

As soon as you started to squirm beneath him, trying to get more friction between you and his kitten licks at your core, he held your hips down with a firm grip. Feeling his strength on your own body made you shiver.

"Please, Joong," you beg him for something you can't even put into words but he chuckles in response to your neediness.

"On this bed, you belong to me, my princess. I'm not taking any more orders from you," he said looking up at you with a menacing smile.

A shudder passed through your body at the deep tone of his voice and you had no choice but to give yourself up to his mercy. And nothing had ever felt better to you. Turning off all thought while Hongjoong was pleasuring your cunt in an almost torturous tempo was somehow the most blissful thing you had ever experienced. It made you forget all the panic and anxiety you had felt just minutes ago.

When an overwhelming feeling of heat built up in your lower stomach and your hips desperately tried to grind against Hongjoong's tongue against his relentless grip, he suddenly stopped. He looked up at you through messy strands of black hair hanging in his vision.

"Not yet my princess, I'm only getting started with you."

He got up from the bed only to slowly discard his pants with his eyes still glued onto your figure. As soon as you saw his hardened length you sucked in a breath of air, feeling your heartbeat accelerating. You felt like he was touching you with his intense stare alone before he was back on top of you. His eyes searched for yours and his hand cupped your cheek surprisingly gentle before Hongjoong shared a deep kiss with you.

It was like nothing else existed besides his lips on yours. You had never felt so much longing for a person in your life as you deepened the kiss and pulled him closer by the back of his head. Once you wound your fingers into Hongjoong's hair and pulled on it he groaned into your mouth, sending shockwaves through your body at the sound.

He interrupted the kiss to stare at you with eyes filled with lust, a fire behind his gaze that spread onto you immediately.

"Tell me to stop right now, princess. I know I'm not supposed to have you but I will ruin you for everyone else if I can have you just this once. You will never want anyone else but me, I promise you."

If anything his words only made you want him more: "Please," you pleaded him, voice not more than a whisper. "I'm all yours. I don't want anyone else."

And your words were like gasoline to his fire. His lips were back on yours in a heartbeat and you felt him spreading your legs apart with his knees. Never once breaking the kiss, Hongjoong held his cock and slowly let it glide through your folds, collecting the wetness between your legs and taunting you even more. You were still sensitive from his tongue and whined into his mouth as he continued teasing you like this.

"Please, Joong," you whined in between kisses. "I want you so bad."

He chuckled into the kiss but actually listened to you as he finally lined himself up with your core.

"So eager, my darling," he teased you, breaking from the kiss only to watch your reaction to him finally pushing into you. As soon as his tip entered you, your eyes fluttered shut and a low moan left your mouth.

A content smile spread on Hongjoong's face as he watched your brows draw together once he bottomed out. You felt so good around him, so hot and tight.

His thrusts started out slow but harsh and with every jolt you felt him hit a spot deep inside you, you didn't even know existed. Once one of his hands started caressing your breast, thumb rolling over your hardened nipple, you opened your eyes again to watch him.

Hongjoong looked ethereal. His delicate features barely illuminated by the candles, eyes darkened by lust and his black hair moving in time with his thrusts, the visual alone almost made you come.

"Having fun, my darling?" he asked tauntingly with a particularly harsh thrust that made you gasp. "You look so pretty moaning on my cock like that."

You felt like choking from his filthy words. Your head guard was usually not the chattiest person apart from his occasional teasing remarks towards you. Having him talk to you like that made your legs soften in the best way possible.

Knowing he had you exactly where he wanted you, he sped up his pace, increasing your moans that you were desperately trying to hold back.

"Can't even talk anymore? You don't know how long I've been wanting you to shut up on my cock like this."

Your eyes rolled into the back of your head and you could feel the heat in your stomach building up fast. Hongjoong felt you tightening around him and was determined to make you finish. His hand wandered down from your breast to your core and with two fingers he started drawing circles into your clit while continuing his menacing pace.

Your hands grabbed onto his underarms in response, nails digging into his skin as you felt your orgasm approaching quickly. He knew exactly what would drive you there and finished you off with his words alone:

"Let go for me, my darling. Come on my cock."

And just with that a wave of pleasure rushed over you, breath being knocked out of your lungs. You felt like fighting for oxygen as you calmed down from your high and Hongjoong whispered praises into your ear:

"Such a good girl for me. That's my pretty princess."

When he felt like you had recovered enough, Hongjoong pulled out of you carefully and settled on the edge of bed, sitting down. With a menacing glance over his shoulder he beckoned you to come closer to him.

"Get on top of me, princess. You were so eager to do that earlier I feel like I should show you what you deserve for being so needy."

When you got up from the bed to straddle him, your legs almost gave in from being so weak after your high. Hongjoong's hand latched onto your hip to steady you as he slowly pulled you onto him.

"Slowly, my darling. Don't want you fainting on me now when I'm not even done with you."

Knees safely situated on the bed next to his hips, you hovered your core over his member. Your faces were so close that your noses touched as you devoured each other with your eyes alone.

You slowly sank down onto his length while holding eye contact with him the entire time. It was the first time you saw him getting a little weak as his eyes fluttered and a small grunt came from the back of his throat.

You wanted to hold onto his shoulders for support, to move on top of him but his body was littered in cuts, that you didn't want to touch. Hongjoong felt your hesitation and let his hands glide over yours, gently placing them on both sides of his face. You felt like you were holding the stars in your hands with the way his eyes sparkled up at yours. It wasn't just desire speaking from them now but something else too as his arms snaked around your waist.

"Let me make you mine, princess."

With his words he gently lifted your body and let it drop down, burying his cock deep within your walls. One of your hands wound into his hair again, keeping you grounded by slightly pulling on his strands.

He fucked you by lifting you up and down his cock like you weighed nothing in his hands. You already felt like coming undone again as you once again pulled him into a kiss. This time he was moaning into your mouth as well, the low vibrations going straight to your core.

You couldn't hold yourself back anymore from moving on top of him too. As you moved up and down his length Hongjoong let his head fall back into his neck in bless.

"You're killing me, princess."

"I thought you would die for me?" you asked back teasingly.

Hongjoong's eyes glinted at your words. "Well that's not how I meant that."

Using his legs he suddenly thrust himself up into you from below and you knew you wouldn't last long like that. His hands digging into your skin and his cock so deep inside you you felt the pressure in your core once again tightening.

"Can you come for me one more time, princess?" Hongjoong asked you with a strained voice. Judging by his clenched jaw you could tell he was close too.

"Yes, please," you begged him and somehow he managed to speed up his tempo just a little more.

Once the orgasm hit you, you couldn't help but let your head drop into the crook of his neck, moaning into his soft skin as he continued thrusting into you. His name tumbled from your lips over and over again making him feel intoxicated of the sweet sound.

"I'm close, princess," he groaned into your ear, thrusts faltering.

"Please let me finish you," you begged him.

"God, please," was all he could answer and you got off of his lap, kneeling down between his legs instead.

You grabbed onto his length, gently stroking him while your tongue lapped at his tip. Your eyes raked over his body marvelling in the way his abs tensed under your touch and his breath came in short gasps. When you finally took him into your mouth as far as you could, Hongjoong spilled his hot seed deep into your throat. His hands wanted so badly to pull you farther onto his cock but he grabbed onto the bedsheets in desperation instead as he came undone.

You moaned as you felt the liquid trickling down your throat and the vibration only heightened his pleasure as his cock twitched inside of you. You sucked him dry before swallowing all of his come with a dazed look on your eyes.

Hongjoong felt like he was in a dream, watching the one person he had always longed for devour him so passionately. He gently lifted you up from the ground only to lay you back on the bed. He held your body like it was the most fragile thing in the world, cradling your head to his chest and stroking your hair gently.

The sudden softness almost brought you to tears. You had never felt this cared for in your life.

"Joong?" you softly called him and he looked down at you, releasing the grip on your hair so you could face him.

"What is it, my princess?"

"I don't want you just tonight."

A flicker of confusion passed over his handsome features. You laid your hand on his cheek, stroking the soft skin.

"I was the one to pick you as my head guardian," you spoke softly, the memory of it still vivid in your mind. You had kept this information a secret until now, carefully stored in the back of your head but now it was begging to be let out. "Ever since you had joined the royal guard I've had a crush on you so I begged my father to make you my head guardian, telling him I didn't trust anyone else but you."

Hongjoong's eyes widened in surprise. He had always thought he got lucky with such an honoured position. He had never imagined you out of all people wanting him to be so close to you. Yet he couldn't quite grasp the gravity of your words.

"What do you mean? You can't be with a guard." He was thinking rationally. All this time he knew there was no way for him to ever have you but now you gave him hope that he didn't want to allow himself just yet.

"It is only a matter of time before my father passes and I become queen. And as the queen I can do whatever I please."

Hongjoong slowly shook his head, disbelieve evident on his face. But you went on:

"I can't imagine anyone else by my side than the one I trust the most, Hongjoong. And even if you don't love me back I want you to be at my side when I need to run this kingdom."

He stared at you for a second, mind running crazy at your words. You wanted him. Out of everything in the world that could be yours you wanted him.

"Who says I don't love you back?" was what he finally replied with the tiniest hint of a smile playing around the corner of his lips.

This time your eyes widened in surprise. "But you were always annoyed by me?" you answered in slight confusion.

Your response made him chuckle and stroke your cheek affectionately. "Darling, that was me trying really hard not to fall for you even more than I already did."

There it was again, that look in his eyes that felt like he was watching the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. It rendered you completely speechless.

"I'll always be by your side, my princess. I'll worship you until the day I die."

And with that he pulled you in for another kiss. You felt a tear run down your cheek as you desperately latched onto his lips. You would never let go of him again.

This entire thing was single-handedly inspired by Hongjoong falling to his knees in Inception which says a lot about my mental health if you ask me but okay.

I hope you enjoyed even if it was different from my usual settings/plots!

Taglist: @voicesinmyhead-rc @yoonjikim

282 notes · View notes