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kotadafroggy · 6 months

Text

more incorrect CoD quotes

Price: You know those things will kill you, right?

Gaz, pouring another glass of whiskey: That's the point.

Ghost, smoking a cigarette: We're trying to speed up the process.

Soap: * Nods while eating raw cookie dough*

*************************************************************

Price: What do you want then?

Gaz: Er… something work related.

Price: What issue is this?

Gaz: Sorry?

Price: Well, if it's work related you'd obviously know what issue this is.What issue is this?

Gaz: * looks at ghost and Soap* Some sort of homosexual issue?

*************************************************************

Ghost: I am darkness. I am an power. I am your worst nightmare. I could kill a man in more ways than you can imagine. I am the night. I am fury, I am a weapon, I am-

Gaz: A doll.

Price: A cinnamon roll.

Soap: A sweetheart.

Ghost:

Ghost: ...stop it.

*************************************************************

Ghost: What if people had food names and food had people names?

Gaz: Hey, spaghetti, we're having Ghost for dinner.

Price: What is wrong with you people?

Soap: Shut up, strawberry.

*************************************************************

Price: *Trying to fill out legal paperwork stuff* Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB?

Ghost: Bold of you to assume I was born at all.

Gaz: I personally was created in a lab.

Soap: I just straight up spawned lol.

*************************************************************

Soap: Yo is Graves sleeping or dead?

Ghost: Hopefully dead, I hated their guts.

Gaz: Yeah, so did I.

Graves: Okay first of all, fuck you-

*************************************************************

Ghost, banging on the door: Soap! Open up!

Soap: Well, it all started when I was a kid...

Gaz: No, they meant-

Price: Let them finish.

*************************************************************

Ghost, setting down a card: Ace of spades

Soap, pulling out an Uno card: +4

Gaz, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you

Price, trembling: What are we playing

*************************************************************

Price: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no idea what to put in them. Any suggestions?

Gaz: Put spaghetti in it.

Price: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you.

Ghost: Put spaghetti in it.

Price: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you two.

Soap: Put spaghetti in it.

Price: I am no longer taking suggestions.

*************************************************************

Ghost: What's it like being tall?

Soap: Is it nice?

Gaz: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards?

König: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb four chairs, two boxes, a small coffee table, and six oddly placed stools to get what they want.

*************************************************************

Soap: On the count of three, what's your favorite cake? One, two, three-

Gaz and Soap, in unison: Chocolate cake peanut butter frosting with chocolate chunks!

Price : Our turn, Ghost! One, two, three- vanilla!

Ghost, deadpan: I've never had cake, what is cake.

*************************************************************

Price: You guys worried about Ghost?

Gaz: Totally!

Soap: Yeah, they called me in the middle of the night and just yelled, "what do I do, what do I do, what do I do, what do I do?"

Price: And what'd you say?

Soap: "I dunno, I dunno, I dunno, I dunno."

Price:

Gaz: They're lucky to have you as a friend.

*************************************************************

Roach: Truth or dare?

Soap: Dare

Roach: I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room

Soap: Hey Gaz

Gaz, blushing: Yeah?

Soap: Could you move? I'm trying to get to Ghost

*************************************************************

Gaz: Why are your tongues purple?

Ghost: We had slushies.I had a blue one.

Soap: I had a red one.

Gaz: oh

Gaz:

Gaz: OH

Roach:

Roach: You drank each other's slushies?

*************************************************************

Ghost: Can I be frank with you guys?

Soap: Sure, but I don't see how changing your name is gonna help.

Gaz: Can I still be Gaz?

Roach: Shh, let Frank speak.

*************************************************************

Price: Everyone synchronise your watches.

Soap: I don't know how to do that.

Gaz: I don't wear a watch.

Ghost: Time is a construct.

*************************************************************

*Ghost's helping Soap out after they get injured, while the others are watching*

Gaz: How does Soap look?

Roach: A little better than you, actually.

*************************************************************

Ghost: A pessimist sees a dark tunnel.

Soap: An optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel.

Gaz: A realist sees a freight train.

Price: The train driver sees three idiots standing on the tracks.

*************************************************************

Gaz: Do you love Soap?

Ghost: Yeah, I do.

Gaz: Price! I told you I knew it! You owe me 100 bucks!

Price: We all love Soap.You should've asked if they were IN love with them.

Ghost: I thought that was implied.

Price: ...

Gaz: ...

Ghost, looking straight at Price: Congrats Gaz, you just won 100 bucks.

*************************************************************

Ghost: Why is Soap crying on the floor?

Gaz: They took one of those 'what Soapre you?' quizzes.

Ghost: And?

Gaz: They got Price.

*************************************************************

Ghost: There is no future. there is no past. do you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every facet.

Soap:

Gaz:

Price:

Everyone Else At Ghost's Surprise Birthday Party:

Soap: All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.

*************************************************************

Price: How did none of you hear what I just said?

Soap: I've been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.

Gaz: I got distracted about halfway through.

Ghost: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

*************************************************************

Price: Soap isn't answering their phone

Ghost: I'll call

Gaz: Price and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi-

Soap: Hello?

*************************************************************

Price: Christmas is cancelled.

Soap: You can't cancel a holiday.

Ghost: Keep it up, Soap, and you'll lose New Year's too.

Soap: What does that mean?

Ghost: Price, take New Year's away from soap.

*************************************************************

Ghost: You were stabbed. Do you remember anything?

Price: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital.

Ghost: That wasn't an ambulance, I drove you.

Price: But I heard a siren.

Gaz: That was Soap.

Soap: Sorry, I got nervous.

*************************************************************

Cop: You're receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.

Ghost: Shit.

Soap: Wait, three?

Cop: Yeah?

Gaz: OH MY GOD PRICE FELL OFF!!!

*************************************************************

Ghost: Where's Gaz?

Soap: Don't worry, I'll find them.

Soap, shouting: Price sucks!

Gaz, distantly: Price is the best person ever! Fuck you!

Soap: Found them.

*************************************************************

*In a horror movie situation*

Ghost: I've got no service in my phone here.

Price: Shoot, my battery just died.

Gaz: Sorry guys, I just broke my phone with a hammer.

Soap: Guys, my phone is a book.

*************************************************************

Gaz: Price, I'm sad.

Price: * Holds out arms for a hug* It's going to be okay.

Soap: Ghost, I'm sad.

Ghost, nodding: mood.

*************************************************************

Gaz: *Screams*

Soap: * Screams louder to assert dominance*

Ghost: Should we do something?!

Price, observing: No, I want to see who wins this.

*************************************************************

Roach: Ah, yes. Here we have a beautiful couple...

könig: I really care about your feelings!

Horangi: I really care about YOUR feelings!

Roach, turning their head: ...and then there's the disaster couple...

Soap: YOU NEED TO PAY MORE ATTENTION TO ME INSTEAD OF BEING AT THE HOSPITAL!

Ghost: I WOULDN'T HAVE TO SPEND SO MUCH TIME AT THE HOSPITAL IF YOU STOPPED INSISTING ON FIGHTING EVERYONE WHO COMES WITHIN A FIVE FOOT RADIUS OF YOU!

*************************************************************

Price: How would you like your pancakes?

Ghost: Plain.

Soap: With sprinkles!

Gaz: Chocolate chips.

Roach: Potatoes.

* Ghost, soap, and Gaz look at Roach*

Roach: What? They're good.

*************************************************************

Ghost: I swear to god I'm the only one here with a braincell.

Roach, Soap, and Gaz: ALL HAIL the keeper of the sacred braincell!

*************************************************************

Gaz: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses.

Soap: This knife is actually a magic wand.

Roach: Meet me in the Denny's parking lot for a wizard duel.

Ghost: * cocks gun* Magic missile.

König: What the fuck is wrong with you people.

*************************************************************

Roach: Looking left cause you don't treat me right

Gaz: Looking right because you left

Soap: Looking up cause you let me down

Ghost: Looking down cause you fucked up

König: What is wrong with you guys

*************************************************************

Soap: Bye Ghost! Bye Gaz! Bye Price! Bye Roach! Bye Ghost!

König: You said 'bye Ghost' twice.

Soap: I like Ghost.

*************************************************************

Price: What makes you all smile?

Soap: Friends and Family.

Roach: Snacks.

Graves: Victory and success.

Ghost: Face muscles.

*************************************************************

Price: Who the fuck broke the toaster?

Gaz: It was Soap.

Roach: It was Soap.

Ghost: Soap broke it.

Soap:

Soap: ...YOU PROMISED-

*************************************************************

Roach: What did you guys get in your yearbook?

Gaz: 'Prettiest Smile'

Price: 'Nicest Personality'

Soap: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'

Ghost: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'

*************************************************************

Price, trying to convince Ghost to join the group: You know... I thought it'd be good to have someone come along who's really... strong!

Roach: And quiet!

Gaz: And grumpy!

Soap: And oblivious to reality!

Ghost:

*************************************************************

Price: What does “take out” mean?

Roach: Food.

Gaz: Dating.

Soap: Murder.

Ghost: It can be all three if you're brave enough.

*************************************************************

Gaz: What do rainbows mean to you?

Soap: Gay rights.

Roach: There's money.

Price: The sign of God's promise to never destroy the whole Earth with a flood.

Ghost: It is an optical phenomenon that separates sunlight into its continuous spectrum when the sun shines on raindrops

*************************************************************

Ghost: We need more help. Maybe I should call my friends.

Soap: ...Your what?

Ghost: My friends.

Roach: Are they saying “friends”?

Gaz: I think they're being sarcastic.

Soap: No, no, no, this is delirium, they've cracked from being awake all night. Hey, Ghost! All of your friends are in this room.

Ghost: I have other friends! You asked me to make new friends, I made new friends! It was a task.I complete tasks.

*************************************************************

Price: You're a loose cannon, Ghost.

Ghost: No, I'm not.I'm a cannon, maybe, but a loose cannon? Is that what you think of me?

Gaz: I think you play by your own rules.

Roach: No way, they think rules were made to be broken.

Price: Those are all attributes of a loose cannon.

Ghost: No, I'm just a reckless renegade.Soap is a loose cannon.

Soap: * smashes a chair* Aah! You shut your trap, Ghost!

Price: I'd say Soap's more of a cop on the edge with nothing to lose.That's an entirely different thing.

Gaz: Now I'm just confused.Is Ghost a loose cannon or not?

Price: All right, put on a pot of coffee.We're gonna get to the bottom of this.

Ghost: *groans*

Soap: Aw, man.

*************************************************************

Gaz: Okay! Let's play Kiss Marry Kill!

Gaz: First who would you kill?

*Ghost points at Graves*

*Soap points at Graves*

*Roach points at Graves*

Graves: * shrugs * I would kill me too.

*************************************************************

Gaz: How do you connect with a fictional character?

Ghost: What?

Price: What?

Roach: What?

Soap: * pulls up a 500 slide presentation* I'm glad you asked.

*************************************************************

Ghost: Guys… Price just called—

König: It was Soap!

Gaz: It was Soap!

Roach: It was Soap!

Soap: It was me!

*************************************************************

König: Hewwo.

Roach: Hihiiiiii!

Ghost: Greetings, Humans.

Price: Three kinds of people.

Gaz: I want pudding.

Price: Four kinds of people.

Soap: WHAT'S UP FUCKERS?

Price: Five kinds of people.

*************************************************************

Soap: Rules are made to be broken.

Price: They were made to be followed.Nothing is made to be broken.

Ghost: Uh, piñatas.

Roach: Glow sticks.

Gaz: Karate boards.

König: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.

Soap: Rules.

Price:

*************************************************************

Soap: Ghost is too tall for me to kiss them on the lips. What should I do?

Roach: Punch them in the stomach.Then, when they double over in pain, kiss them.

Gaz: Tackle them!

Price: Dump them.

König: Kick them in the shin!

Ghost: No to all of those! Just ask me to lean down!!

*************************************************************

Price: Just be yourself.

Soap: Really ? Price, I have one day to win over Ghost.

Soap: How long did it take for you guys to like me?

Roach: Couple of weeks.

Gaz: Six months.

König: Jury's still out.

Soap: See Price? 'Just be yourself,' what kind of garbage advice is that?!

*************************************************************

Price: If you got arrested what would be the charges?

Roach: Theft.

Gaz: Disturbing the peace.

König: Aggravated assault.

Soap: Arson.

Ghost: All of the above.In that order, probably.

*************************************************************

Ghost, walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here.

Roach: Hey.

Gaz: Hi.

König: Hello.

Soap: Hey!

Ghost: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only!

Soap: We were out of Doritos.

*************************************************************

Gaz: You know, when Soap comes over, Ghost can get a little…

Roach: Psycho?

König: Scary?

Price: Drunk?

Gaz: All three.

*************************************************************

Graves: Would you guys be there for me if I was going through something?

Roach: Nope, absolutely not.

Alejandro: I hope it sucks, whatever you're going through.

Soap: I hope it emotionally scars you for the rest of your life.

König: I hope you reach out to me so I can ignore you.

Ghost: I can't wait to go to your funeral, knowing I could've changed that outcome.

Graves: …….

*************************************************************

*Squad reactions to being told 'I love you'*

Roach: Thanks fam!

Soap: Oh no.

Gaz: *cries* I love you too.

Ghost: Sounds fake, but okay.

König: *A flustered mess*

*************************************************************

Alejandro: Dumbest scar stories, go!

Gaz: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.

Soap: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and it burned.

Roach: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade.

König: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it in my hand and I got a really bad burn.

Ghost : I have emotional scars.

#ghost x soap #ghostsoap #ghoap #simon ghost riley #cod #soapghost #soap x ghost #kyle gaz garrick #john price #john soap mactavish #gary roach sanderson #cod graves

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kotadafroggy · 6 months

Text

incorrect CoD quotes

Ghost: So, soap, what’s your type?

Soap: Tall, strong, brown eyes, wears mask, very dense

Ghost: hm, sounds like me, too bad I’m not a girl

Soap: did I mention very dense?

Ghost: yeah?

Soap: just making sure.

Gaz: *sighs*

*************************************************************

Gaz: Johnny, are you in love with Simon?

Soap: *sweats* no…

Gaz: then why do you wrote “S+J” in hearts in your notebook?

Soap: it’s stands for suffering and bitterness

Price: I don’t get paid enough for this

*************************************************************

Ghost: Graves, how petty can you get?

Graves: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument

Soap: now that’s just sad…. *************************************************************

Price: Ghost, do you have any skeletons in your closet?

Ghost: literally or figuratively?

Price: the fact I have to specify…. *************************************************************

Graves: *gets down on one knee*

Ghost: omg! It’s finally happening

Graves: *falls over and dies*

Ghost: The poison kicked in!! *************************************************************

Soap: where are you going?

Ghost: to either get ice cream or commit a felony, I’ll decide on the way there *walks out*

Soap: *processing* WAIT-*************************************************************

Ghost: Soap, I am questioning your sanity... Gaz: I never questioned it, I knew their sanity was missing from the start.

*************************************************************

*The group is getting into the car* Ghost: I'm driving. Soap, out of view: Shotgun! Gaz, turning to face Soap: Aww! But you had it on the way here- Everyone except Soap: WOAH- Soap, holding a shotgun: No! I found a shotgun! And I want the front seat! * Pumps gun *

*************************************************************

Ghost: Oh, fiddlesticks.

Soap: Look, I understand this is a tense situation, but let's watch the fucking language.

*************************************************************

Ghost: They don't make them like me no more. I'm the last of my kind.

Soap: Thank god.

*************************************************************

Ghost: Soap...

Soap: Oh no, 'Soap' in B flat.

Soap: You're disappointed.

*************************************************************

Ghost: Soap, stop! This isn't you, you've gone mad with power!

Soap: Well of course I have.

Soap: Have you ever tried going mad without power?

Soap: It's boring.

*************************************************************

Ghost: *Stubs their toe* FUCK!

Soap: Mind your language!

Ghost: What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”???

Soap:

Ghost: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.

*************************************************************

Soap: Can you keep a secret?

Ghost: Do you know anything about my life?

Soap: No I do not.Good point.

*************************************************************

Ghost: You're giving me a sticker?

Soap: Not just a sticker.That is a sticker of a kitty saying “me- wow!”

Ghost: I'm not a preschooler.

Soap: Fine, I'll take it back

Ghost: I earned this, back off!

#ghostsoap #ghoap #simon ghost riley #cod #ghost x soap #soapghost #soap x ghost

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