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Shhh. Don’t think about episode 7 anymore. Enjoy some Wedding Chibis. ❤️

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Reminder to self:

Your writing seems boring and predictable because 

You wrote it

You’ve read it like eight million times.

A person who has never read it before does not have this problem. 

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Asexuality

I’m feeling particularly open today so I figured I’d tell the story of how I discovered that I was asexual. 

To be honest it all started in high school. Yes the terrible time where puberty hits you like a ton of bricks and you feel a strange need to express your self sexually. I thought I cared as you see everyone cared and that must include me. I didn’t so much as care about virginity no but no seeming inexperienced was a priority. Lets just say that I my junior year to the summer of before senior year I experimented with sex. I had 5 partners in that time period and really didn’t care. First I theorized that it was because either I or they were bad at sex but as senior year went on I realized I cared very little about sex or if I ever had it again. 

I had a lot of friends tell me about how they liked sex, wanted it, needed it etc.. but I just didn’t understand. I found the whole thing a colossal waste of time I also felt that way about making out. I got really nothing from these activities so there was no point in doing them. To be fair I did think there was something wrong with me. Why was I so different from other people?

It wasn’t until the end of my senior year that I even learned what asexuality was. See I grew up in a small hick town in Nebraska but was close to Omaha and so when my older brother graduated he got a job at a Walmart in Omaha and met some friends that went to school and grew up in the city. Of course at first I was rather close minded to a lot of the things they told me. Yeah I knew about lesbians, gays, bisexuals, and transgender but that was it. When I start to learn these new terms that had to be explained to me my first thought was usually “pfft whatever that doesn’t exist” (Just goes to show how living in a small town of mostly straight white people can affect your concept of the world.) 

A few things happened that year that led to the development of who I am today both good and bad. I’m honestly going to omit the bad as it doesn’t contribute to the story other than to explain my issue with being touched sometimes or having someone touch me when I don’t know it’s coming. The good part was those friends that I had made because they not only open my eyes to the world of lgbtqa+ but also to the fact that being nerdy was okay and in some circles cool. 

It was through these friends that I learned about asexuality. I had never brought up sex with them before but at some point they were explain different flags to me and they came across asexual. I of course made the dumb joke “Like an amoeba? like they procreate by themselves?” To which they quickly corrected me. At that point things didn’t click. I was still thinking well maybe I was going for the wrong gender or maybe it was they were just bad at it, maybe there was something medically wrong with me. But as my excuse list kept getting bigger my mind kept wandering back to asexuality. 

I did a little research about it and found that there was different degrees of asexuality. I don’t know why that is what made it click. I am pretty textbook poster child of being asexual in the most basic sense. I don’t feel sexual attraction towards anyone, I never have a need to have sex or want sex, and honestly if I never had sex for the rest of my life I am fine with that. Ever since then I have been pretty open with everyone about being asexual. It is both a freeing  feeling and somewhat a depressing feeling. (Which I can explain further in another post if anyone wants to hear it.)

It’s been 7 years since then and I haven’t felt the need to or want to have sex with anyone.

I just wanted to share this story with others who may feel confused about their own sexual identity. To let them know it’s okay to be confused and to not understand yourself at some point you will find the answer. You just have to be open to finding it. 

I’m thinking of maybe writing up a post about gender as it took a bit longer and more doubt in myself to come out as transgender. 

#asexual #asexuality #selfdiscovery #sexuality

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Excuse me why have i barely seen any Tulkas art/discussions in the Silm fandom??? Tulkas Radiates complete himbo energy you FOOLS

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Posted by BreadEggg on Silmarillionmemes SubReddit

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I was told by a Behavioral Health doctor that I need to allow myself to feel anxious because if I don’t then I start getting irritable and angry. But how do I allow myself to be anxious and feel uncomfortable without getting irritable?

#anxitey #mental health #mental health help

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Since I have a lot of people talking about those pins since the last announcement of The RustyQuill, let me share those here too!

The 14 entities as enamel pins! Which fear are you inclined to? I’m personally drawn toward the Corruption followed by the Vast _(┐「ε:)_

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Planets in the 12th house

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anime_irl

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Reblog if you started worrying about your weight before you were fourteen.

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trans🧙irl

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I got among us this morning and played online. It became quickly apparent that the only people who play in the morning are high schoolers who are ignoring their school work. Which fair. But like my ass has been out of school for 7 years and I’ve never felt that old before. Also I got to be an imposter once and then got blamed for the other imposters kill so that was fun.

#among us

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Deactivated Facebook. Don’t need the constant reminder of how all of my friends are better friends with literally everyone else.

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ʚ shikamaru nara icons

✸like/reblog, if you use 🧸

✸ requested by @made-to-forget