maddgical-boy

[maddgical-boy]

worst feeling ever is when you're daydreaming and trying to envision a character but bc you're falling out of hyperfixationland it becomes hard to envision their face and it's like they're slipping from your grasp. it makes me feel like i'm losing memories of someone i love and it's sad but also feels dumb since they're not REAL 😭

#mark stops daydreaming for a sec.txt #me when the hyperfixation dies and the daydreams rot like a fucking perishable food: hello suicidal ideation man #madd vent

[maddgical-boy]

It's so annoying how frustratingly difficult it is to translate daydreams into actual words in a text document! Because it's oftentimes not that the daydreams are just things i'm imagining, vague ideas of what happens or is said, no no no. I'm straight up thinking, very specifically, word for word what happens. I'm straight up sounding out sentences like i was reading a fanfic but in my head. but the moment i actually try to translate these words into, well, Actual Words, they just disappear!!! Whyy

#MECORE #i will think up literally the most stunning prose and then as soon as i run to write it down it either 1) disappears or 2) becomes dogshit #writing

[maddgical-boy]

i've been watching lost lately (AWESOME SHOW BTW) and daydreaming about it is really fun EXCEPT my paraself cannot be in multiple places at once which fucks up my internal storyline because i want him to have a scene with a character that he would not physically be able to interact with. he can't be on the raft AND at the caves AND on the beach AND in the hatch AND with the others. this isn't usually an issue with stuff but lost has such a huge cast and they all do different shit at the same time😭😭

#mark stops daydreaming for a sec.txt #now if you know my psyche really well you can play ''guess which character is mark's new father figure'' LMAO #this show is so good though i am SO NORMALLLL (shakes like crazy) #im only on early season 2 but it's so awesome. and so rich with substance. i am being FED #maladaptive daydreaming #madd #immersive daydreaming

[maddgical-boy]

#this is cicero and vinny looking at each other #arrows of shield* #cicero* #vinny fitzsimmons*

[maddgical-boy]

WAIT GUYS. DO YOU REMEMBER THAT BRANTSTEELE HUNGER GAMES SIMULATOR

putting my paras in a hunger games au bc they haven't suffered enough lmao

#oh you know what that fucking means #you can add custom events to it too. im about to be so annoying #that newer one that comes up is worse i dont like it. brantsteele hg sim supreme

[maddgical-boy]

putting my paras in a hunger games au bc they haven't suffered enough lmao

#mark stops daydreaming for a sec.txt

[maddgical-boy]

my daydreams about my paracosms' stories are just ~5 big events and then my brain is like "okay so then what happens, like, in between those?" and i bluescreen

#mark stops daydreaming for a sec.txt #this is what writing stuff is like for me too #I CANT PLOT TO SAVE MY LIFE GENUINELY #''how do they get from A to B'' i dont KNOW #actually someone if you can help me please help me i want to lead a more fulfilling life #maladaptive daydreaming #immersive daydreaming #madd #writing

[maddgical-boy]

ok so you said you wanted to hear about the polyam dynamics so here goes

the main group is me, vienna, harley, evan, mary and regulus. we all live together in a four bedroom apartment. then there's phillippa and nya, who live together with nya's brother james and amelia who's james's gf, in a three bedroom apartment but the third bedroom changes from being an actual bedroom to a guestroom depending on sleeping arrangements

those two apartments are on the same floor and basically next to each other lol

then there's violet, charles and alex, they live in the flat on the floor beneath. They're kinda their own triad but all of them also have relationships to the rest.

Ohh i forgot the pets!

so, violet, alex and charles have a golden retriever called kurt and a striped tabby cat called theo

In the main group apartment (first one i mentioned) we have three cats, casey, paolo and david (he's orange and dumb).

Harley also has two dobermans but they don't live with us cus we don't have the space.and mary has a two of those small parrots i forgot the name, the ones you can keep as pets and their names are aiden and carrie

ALSO, there's a murder of crows that we feed regularly and my fav is a very curious little guy named nick or nicky

thats it for now lol sorry for the spam^_^

so cool omg :00 firstly i am down with these diagram things where'd you make them?? yummy. i love the label "no one fucking knows" i need to know more. what do they have going on 👀

your brain is strong for imagining a full apartment of paras (and pets!! they're so essential. i must know more about this crow nicky though i hope he doesn't conflict with the cats ough)

#your paracosm sounds so cozy here it's like a warm hug #also sorry i didnt get to this til now my tumblr ask box is broken as shit 😭 #mark answers asks

[maddgical-boy]

I FINISHED THE SMUT (╯°□°）╯ 3K WORDS RAAAAAH

i have school in 4 hours

my idiot ass stayed up till 7:20 AM writing fic about my paras good lord someone hold me back

#i'm actually proud of it but i dont think i could actually post it for any rando in the fandom to see #if yall want to though... i mean... #writing

[maddgical-boy]

my idiot ass stayed up till 7:20 AM writing fic about my paras good lord someone hold me back

#it was smut too lol. it's not even done #mark stops daydreaming for a sec.txt #i write smut very rarely and i never publish it it's in a closed and unrevealed ao3 collection HAHA it's for me only. i embarrassed

[maddgical-boy]

thought tumblr might enjoy this fresh home cooked meme i made of my para

(i know dysphoria isn't always about genitalia but shhh this is funny)

#martk #im gonna post this on insta too which is why i watermarked it but tumblr you can have it first. you're special #anyway cicero has made a Resurgence in my brain bc he makes fun of how i have to eat soft shit bc wisdom teeth post op #he is so mean to me. i love him. whwuuwuwhw #also PLEASE ignore how i cant draw skeletons just pretend it's bc cicero is really fucked up inside (he is anyway) #maladaptive daydreaming #madd #immersive daydreaming #paraportal #cicero*

[maddgical-boy]

omg thanks for the tag!! and lmao @ my result i see it tbh

[struggles to remember everyone ive ever been mutuals with] tags uhhh @lesbiansandco @augustdearest @madmadder and anyone else who wants to try!

tagged by @strugglequill & @babblingflowers to do how would the fandom treat you quiz

tags if you like: @romanticeulogizingelegies @stillagoodwitch @eviemoon

#uquizzes #not madd #tag games

[maddgical-boy]

me trying to force myself not to create a paraself/self insert for every piece of media that crosses my field of vision

#mark stops daydreaming for a sec.txt #ironically this post is referring to how i've been watching tua lately LMAOOOO #it's not like im against the idea of self inserts it's just like. the commitment. lol #cause what if i dont end up hyperfixating and just discard the paracosm instantly #maladaptive daydreaming #madd #immersive daydreaming

[maddgical-boy]

omg i just found your blog and I have some things i wanna tell you about

i have about 25 paras, it's all a huge polycule and everyone is in love with each other its so found family

Its still a bit weird for me to talk about cus social expectations and stuff but i rlly love these guys and i couldn't imagine my life without them

alright *crawls back into den* *looks out carefully*

THAT SOUNDS SO WONDERFUL 😭💕 i bet you guys are such a cute family, would love to know the 25 polycule dynamics of the household huhu

#mark answers asks #i can barely handle having more than 10 paras hanging out at a time you are so powerful

[maddgical-boy]

Anyone else have headworlds/paracosms that are just, objectively extremely shit self indulgent crossovers that would get you sent death threats by extremely online people if you ever tried to write and publish them?

#arrows of shield* #this is literally that paracosm #all the haters will beat me to death 😔 but i stay silly

[maddgical-boy]

can't believe nobody else is as obsessed with my paras as me and doesn't make any content about them 🙄 i have to do everything around here

#maladaptive daydreaming #madd #immersive daydreaming #mark stops daydreaming for a sec.txt

[maddgical-boy]

had an idea for a novel (novella?) and now it's all i daydream about, unfortunately actually writing an outline and shit is Hard and daydreaming about the same five scenes over and over is Easy

#mark stops daydreaming for a sec.txt #i'm trying to have discipline though 😭 i actually wanna write it cause i miss when i was younger and could just crank out stuff #it was bad but still #i want to talk to someone abt my new paracosm but i know the internet is not able to accept fiction as fiction. if that tells you anything #maladaptive daydreaming #madd #immersive daydreaming #writing