megasocialistbutterflything

[megasocialistbutterflything]

Me at the start of 2021: This is the year I'm going to get my life back on track. I'm back in education, going to start volunteering, and am going to get back into writing and drawing.

My traitorous, broken body: That's some nice plans you have there. How about developing chronic migraines so that you don't forget about me?!

#spoonie living #life with chronic illness

[megasocialistbutterflything]

there's nothing like a little musical number to trigger a reluctant epiphany

Incorrect HBO War based off shit my friends have said

#this is glorious #Thank you for combining two of my favourite things #band of brothers #les miserables

[megasocialistbutterflything]

Ron Livingston “Draw a window” dance in Townies (1998)

#Excuse me sir but what are you doing #he is so adorkable #ron livingston

[megasocialistbutterflything]

My sister had to give me a crash course in The Flash and the DC Universe and just stared at me like I’m a total idiot the whole time.

Ron Livingston is finally in a superhero universe. I will be crying for like a whole year for this news.

#films #dc universe #my interest in this film is limited to Ron Livingston and Saoirse-Monica Jackson

[megasocialistbutterflything]

I’m so fucking tired

#As a welsh person I feel this #stares at Jacob Rees Mogg in welsh #not a foreign language #you need a refund on that pricey education buddy

[megasocialistbutterflything]

Ron Livingston in Little black book (Starring Brittany Murphy) - Nick Hurran, 2004 (3/4)

#Little Black Book #Ron Livingston #excuse me sir but who gave you permission to be so damn handsome

[megasocialistbutterflything]

【ｐｎｇｓ】

#I have no idea what this is #but it is very pleasing to look at #my solitary braincell is very happy right now

[megasocialistbutterflything]

Wolverine is ageless.

[megasocialistbutterflything]

I call upon the fan fic writing gods to bless you with the perseverance to finish one of your unfinished drafts. 

May your fingers dance along the letters upon your device with ease, may the devil of distraction stay far from you, and may your work not need much editing.

I pass this blessing upon every fan fic writer out there.

[megasocialistbutterflything]

Ron Livingston as Roy Phillips in Boardwalk Empire - 2013 (4/5)

#Boardwalk empire #roy phillips #ron livingston #can we appreciate how utterly dashing he looks in this show

[megasocialistbutterflything]

Dead pigeons aside, I’m convinced there is far from a happy ending for this family. They’re all going back to their lives with various levels of trauma/PTSD - Carolyn feels guilty for trying to harm her kids, she’s likely to have grown apart from her husband as she’s so consumed by guilt and how could he possibly still love her after she tried to harm their children. The kids are terrified of their mum despite knowing that she was under the influence of the witch, Roger is trying to hold everyone together emoionally, cope with his own trauma, which included witnessing his wife nearly kill their youngest child, and try to keep hold of the relationship he had with his wife prior to all this happening. April has learnt she can see/communicate with spirits (she could see Rory and was talking to him) and Rory’s probably still around, even though he’s benevolent, as well as other spirits the rest are possibly not aware of. Oh and there’s a tonne of damage to the house which needs repairing - even if house insurance was a thing at this time, can you imagine trying to convince them it was all due to an extremely pissed-off witch?

The Conjuring (2013)

The end of the movie was suppose to be a happy ending right? The witch is gone and the family can be happy once more. Everyone is crying tears of joy. Except for one. Me. I was crying tears of sorrow.

The witch caused birds to fly into the house constantly. They would break their necks and die. We first see this when a pigeon does this halfway through the movie when the activity starts to pick up. But then at the end, a huge flock of crows and pigeons start killing themselves all over the yard and house when Ed is performing the exorcism. And in the "happy ending" scene that I was talking about, the yard is scattered with dead birds.

This movie is flatlining for dead pigeons.

0/10

#The conjuring #i've given this way too much thought #mental trauma everywhere

[megasocialistbutterflything]

A little gift for your eyes for the holiday season.

Ron Livingston and Neal McDonough photographed by Véronique Vial for her book Men Before 10 A.M. Too (2001).

I nearly forgot I have this book 😆.

#ron livingston #eye candy #my attention keeps being diverted to the two dogs #Also I can't look at that pic of Ron without being triggered into yawning myself I've yawned at least five times in trying to do this post

[megasocialistbutterflything]

Pic from @lyselkatzfandomluvs.

#Band of Brothers #dick winters #lewis nixon #harry welsh #off screen ron spiers #christmas band of brothers style

[megasocialistbutterflything]

Band of Brothers screencaps/edits (278/?)

The officers' trio in Carentan

These frames have really good meme-ing potential.

#Band of Brothers #dick winters #lewis nixon #harry welsh #my fave trio #good things come in threes

[megasocialistbutterflything]

As a chronically ill person I've been views like this so often (despite being previously healthy and employed) and it hurts so much. I - and many others - beat ourselves up so often over our inability to participate in the labour market because, y’know, abelism. We don’t need others to do it for us too.

#societal issues #capatilism #problems in the system #chronic illness #disability #spoonie life #spoonie problems #our worth is more than our work

[megasocialistbutterflything]

[megasocialistbutterflything]

How does Nix's first Christmas with Dick's family go? 😊

(I was going to answer this like a normal person and then it turned into a ficlet, hope you don't mind)

In a word? Terrible.

He didn’t want to go in the first place but he didn’t want to be alone. For Lew, Christmas has never been about hope or nostalgia or seeing the good in people or being welcomed back into the arms of those who love you most. As a child, it meant being left home with an au pair while his parents made the social rounds. As an adult, it meant getting drunk, walking a constantly shifting line between merry and pathetic. As a veteran, it’s a time of missing people he never really even knew that well, a vague, reverberating sorrow echoing through the hollow spaces inside of him. As a spouse, it’s a goddamn minefield.

When Dick asked him what he wanted for Christmas, Lew laughed as though Dick had just told him about the bizarre rituals of some ancient civilization. He didn’t realize he was serious until he saw the blush rise in Dick’s cheeks as he looked down, hurt, into his coffee and told Lew to nevermind, it didn’t matter. The next day he went out and bought things Dick probably wouldn’t like and certainly didn’t need, things that were not even in the ballpark of his style. A stranger probably could have done better, and that was what Lew began to feel like by the end of his little spree. When it was just the two of them, he knew exactly who he was to Dick and what they were to each other. What they’d promised with their hearts and words and bodies. But out in a world that denied their existence, it was a different story. Out there, it was hard to remember sometimes.

So when Dick told Lew he’d like to go home for Christmas and he’d like Lew to come with him, Lew thought of the neckties and golf clubs and driving gloves still in their boxes in the trunk of his car, and he said yes because here was something he could give Dick, something he actually wanted. He said yes, even though he would have much rather stayed home (and how much it hurt that Dick still called Lancaster ‘home’, would he ever find the courage to tell him?); even though he suspected (was afraid - he’ll admit it, how much of his reluctance came down to simple, humbling fear) that Dick’s feelings toward him would change when he saw the version of Lew reflected in their eyes. He said yes because the world said no.

There were moments when he forgot about the charade they awkwardly performed and Dick’s family awkwardly believed, the touch of Dick’s hand between his shoulder blades as they walked to the car or a stolen kiss as they brushed by each other in the bathroom doorway before going to bed. The rest of the time, Lew was pretty much miserable.

It was the fact that none of them drank, and glanced warily at Lew when he did, like he was holding them hostage, the ransom their peace of mind.

The fact that they’d always nurtured a healthy resentment toward the upper class, and Lew was the wealthiest person they’d ever met.

The fact that Dick had left them for New Jersey.

That he’d left them for Lew.

Or at least the job Lew had offered, and that was suspicious too.

The fact that it was the first Christmas without Dick’s dad, and Lew felt all the time like he was trespassing on their grief, as though he hadn’t propped Dick up and kept him standing and held him through the deepest fathoms of his own grief.

The fact that he didn’t go to church.

The fact that the guest room shared a wall with Dick’s bedroom and in the middle of the night when he couldn’t sleep, Lew almost convinced himself that it was better that way, keeping Dick on the other side of a wall. Keeping their feelings safely contained within boundaries they’d managed to ignore for a few years, but had only grown thicker and harder while they were away.

On Christmas Day, after the family got home from church, he and Dick went for a walk around the neighborhood. Dick showed him his high school, the fields where he used to play football, and Lew tried to picture him, a skinny kid in a varsity uniform, but he couldn’t. It seemed impossible that Dick had ever been that young. They reached the end of a street and kept walking into the vacant field beyond, hands stuffed into their pockets against the cold, eyes on the horizon.

“I’m sorry you’re not having a good time,” Dick said finally. They stopped walking.

“It’s not that.”

Dick took a small step closer and turned to face him. “What, then?”

Lew sighed. “I feel -” He looked up into the gray dome of the sky. “Far away.”

Dick nodded like he understood, even though Lew wasn’t quite sure what he meant.

“It’s like the more we’re with other people, the less I’m with you.”

Lew looked back at Dick. One corner of his mouth lifted in sad sympathy. He felt Dick’s fingers wrap around the back of his wrist inside the cuff of his sleeve.

“It’s harder than I thought it would be,” was all Dick said, but somehow it was the right thing. The true thing. Lew turned his hand over and slid his palm up Dick’s arm, wrist to wrist, and it was probably his imagination, but for a moment he thought he felt Dick’s pulse against his own.

That night, as he again lay sleepless on the other side of the wall, he listened to the whine of  mattress springs as Dick turned and shifted. The moan of floorboards under his steps. The creak of the door and then footsteps again. The cool draft of night air as he lifted the blankets and then the warmth of Dick’s chest against his back.

“You’re gonna get us in trouble.”

Dick’s breath, hot and damp against his ear. “It’s alright. I’m not gonna try anything funny.”

“Better not. I’m a married man.”

He rolled onto his back, into Dick’s waiting arms. Dick’s eyes floated over his face; he smiled.

“That’s right,” he said softly. “Even if we’re the only ones who know it.”

Lew’s smile faded and he felt that old familiar ache in his heart, a desire he couldn’t quite place. A longing for another world. Another time. But there was nothing he could do about it now, except to wrap his arms tighter around Dick and never let him go.

#Band of Brothers #dick winters #lewis nixon #angst #so much angst #it's ok I don't need my heart #I'll just be over here dripping tears into my hot chocolate