messy-academia

[messy-academia]

Ahh alright I think I should explain why I disappeared off of the face of the earth for quite a while. So I've been having quite a hard time recently, and have been doing the bare minimum to get by. I'm really overwhelmed by the amount of topics I have to catch up with. We also have a huge test coming up for which I am far from prepared, but I suppose it's never too late to start.

We've been doing trigonometry in math recently, and this is a part of the homework given, or rather the part where my handwriting is legible, lol

Non study related stuff under the cut

So my mental health has been at it's worst and the academic pressure is just adding to it. The class hours are long, the professor scolds the students a lot and the workload is quite a bit much for me. Things just kept getting worse. So I finally gathered the courage to tell my mom and long story short, we're seeing a therapist now. The reason why I decided to add this in here is because if you're struggling right now and hesitating to ask for help, please know that there is no shame in admitting that you are deserving of every bit of help that comes your way. Telling a parent is nowhere close to easy, it'll take a lot of effort and convincing, but the result is worth it. I read @studium-stardust 's post on not always being perfect, and it was reassuring. I'd love to post more often here, but even the smallest of tasks require a lot of energy, but somehow I'm trying to get through, even if it means having days when I'm not productive at all. If you've read this far, thank you for your time. Wherever you are, I hope you're safe and happy.

#academia #studyblr #cw rant #cw mental health #hey saher #messy academia tracking #yeah i made a tracking tag #even though it wasn't necessary #but yeah

[messy-academia]

so hello to everyone who’s reading this. i really don’t know why i’m writing this on here, but i think with running a studyblr, i also need to be more responsible about what i post, because i’m no producitivity queen.

i think i said this in my intro post as well, but i started a studyblr to be more realistic + be accountable. i made my most recent post last week sometime, but it has been a fortnight since i posted an *actual* studyblr post.

to oversimplify, the last two weeks were difficult. my mental health was not up to the mark, i was not very productive, and this subsequently resulted in me not posting on my studyblr, because i didn’t want to seem like i was not “working hard”. i do tend to have perfectionist tendencies, and it is one of the reasons i have not posted frequently in the last two weeks.

i wanted to list somethings i have noticed, which are indications of when my mental health starts going downhill. 

i tend to procrastinate (because i’m anxious about the work i need to get done), don’t get a substantial amount of work done during the day, stay up till late at night to compensate for the lost time (but don’t get much done because i’m not productive at nights), or sometimes because i can’t fall asleep because of the guilt. and because i went to bed late, i don’t wake up early the next day, and beat myself up for it. another day passes in a whirlwind, not feeling like working, or even doing anything.

i know how it feels to keep feeling bouts of anxiety and stress, some which last so long that all your energy is wasted trying to just stay awake and getting through the day. you study, but it doesn’t feel like you have done anything, because you don’t feel confident during exams. you score bad on a test. you see disappointment on the faces of the people who say they don’t expect anything from you and who don’t want to pressurise you when you tell them you scored bad on a test. you’ve lost hope in all your dreams and aspirations, because it feels like you’re not good enough for them. but your only hope for being successful in life is doing well in these exams, because you don’t belong to a particularly rich family.

so, a reminder for me - and all the students that are struggling as well, 

please, don’t give up. i know it seems hard, and impossible, and you feel like you can’t do what you thought you could do. you think it would be easier to quit, to just let it be; but please, i urge you, don’t give in to those stupid, dark thoughts that breach your mental peace so often. you can do this, and even if you don’t achieve what you originally planned to, whether in a day, a week, a month, a year, or even two years, don’t be disheartened. life will give you innumerable opportunities, and this one failure does not define you. failing is okay sometimes. don’t be afraid of failing, please. it will all be okay.

i might delete this post, but i think i will use tags of some famous blogs for this to reach as many people it can before i do delete it.

also, thank you so much for 100 followers! please give me some suggestions for what i can do to celebrate!

#this #all of this #it's great to receive a reminder every now and then that you don't have to be perfect 24/7 and it's okay to have bad days #i greatly admire you for being this transperent #thank you for writing this #good luck with everything :)

[messy-academia]

*Click for quality*

09.07.2021 // Friday (18,19/50 dop)

Okay guys, I think I'm improving. I may not be studying like before but I'm doing better than the past few days. I have a lot of backlogs now & that is making it difficult for me to concentrate on one thing at a time but I'm dividing my time accordingly and I think it'll get better in a few more days. I hope everyone else is studying hard, people just ace your exams and move!

#your notes are pretty as always :) #you inspire me to do my best #biology notes

[messy-academia]

So this is a blog that I've made mostly to motivate myself to do something lol. Right now I'm pretty behind in everything and I hope to catch up with the syllabus. I'm an eleventh grade jee aspirant who's incredibly burnt out after tenth grade and barely has the motivation to study. The only subject that I have a grip on, currently, is physics and I hope to change that soon. That being said I'm also available to solve any doubts of tenth grade or lower if I'm not drowning in assignments. Also feel free to just talk about anything really, I don't bite.

As for what I'm doing right now, it's currently 2:30 am and I'm doing the homework which is due tomorrow and teaching myself functions along the way :) I do have a few doubts which I would ask the professor tomorrow (or today, really). These are the notes I've made for some common graphs and the homework itself is too messy and ugly to post.

#academia #mathblr #jee aspirant #uhh I'm not good with tags #but you get the idea #stemblr #also @saher your blog is very cool so i hope you don't mind if i tag you #heysaher