nymfaia

[nymfaia]

i suppose i love this life, in spite of my clenched fist.

Time Is A Mother, Ocean Vuong // The Brothers Karamazov, Fyodor Dostoyevsky // The Cow, Ariana Reines // Ask Polly, Heather Havrilesky // October, Mary Oliver // Dead Stars, Ada Limón // Night Walk, Franz Wright// Xenotransplantation, Sam Sax // Angels In America, Tony Kushner // Birthday, Andrea Gibson (thank you @saint-garbage, i have zero idea whether they are poems or quotes for most of them, so i can't help out there, forgive me, i'm trying my best)

for @shestrying

#💡 colette ; hcs. #thonk u friend for showing me this...

[nymfaia]

i love colette to the moon and back but her simple-mindedness sometimes makes me want to go pull my hair out. in a way, she sort of resembles a lot of the early 2000's shonen protagonists that i grew up with, with their shallow-surfaced ideals of friendship and brotherhood and goodness.

of course she wants lloyd and kratos to make up. of course she wants raine and genis to be happy, and for zelos to live for his own self, and she sees it so simply because, to her, there's no other option in her mind. she isn't underestimating the hardship or the complications or the length of the journey - she knows it exists. she's been there.

for the ones she loves, the doubt just doesn't exist. it isn't an option. at the end of the day, they will get what they want, hardships be damned.

#i have. a lot of feelings abt her feelings on l.loyd and k.ratos. her perfect world involves both his dads raising him #and she gets a little upset and flustered because no matter the excuses or reasons they give she is always going to ask. why not? why not?? #to her - love is so simple. it is simple because there's no other choice #💡 colette ; hcs.

[nymfaia]

Not me abruptly realizing the Jason Todd and thancred parallels and having a whole newfound love for thancred

#j.ason is. my favorite robin. id write him if i were brave #but like!! young boy attempting to steal from well-to-do man and getting caught!! #young boy being brought under the man's wing and learning to become a real person. #young boy getting 'killed' in some manor and being brought back to the world of the living against his wishes #and it changing him physically (j.ason's streak and th.ancred's white eye) #and emotionally after being gone so long. #LISTEN!!!!!!! #ooc.

[nymfaia]

Hani - SUBLIME Naver Update Pics [Part 1]

#considering .... for a.ranea #i contemplated r.yujin. her nose is so similar to the character model. but i was afraid of making her look too young #since a.ranea is 30. and h.ani is 30ish soOoo #big thonk #ooc.

[nymfaia]

14 verse for my recent babes.

Aranea: garlean dragoon. Uses more mechanical lances and has probably had some sort of augmentation done to stack up to Ishgardian dragoons. Might have been treated with a prototype of the Resonant. Will have to devise a concept for Garlean-raised dragoons. (Dragon blood treatments?)

Raine: arcanist/scholar, with a dabbling in time magicks from ancient history. Probably Scion adjacent. Kicked out of Sharlay at a young age - Sharlayans may be smart but I can still see them frowning upon biracial unions, especially if there's a class divide. May have also been taken under Louisouix's wing.

Colette: Dancer/white mage, but Ishgardian: religion/holy mage first before learning about the elementals (aka, opposite to the Gridanian route). On some sort of religious pilgrimage meant to help combat the dragons probably. Making her way around the stretches of Eorzea and, eventually, Garlemald after EW.

#not me abruptly realizing a.ranea and e.stinien would probably work well together. hm. will consider this #🕸 aranea ; hcs. #💡 colette ; hcs. #📜 raine ; hcs. #slso that chocobo mod for s.dv makes me want to create a chocobo breeder oc. so good

[nymfaia]

TO BEGIN, WE MUST SEE THE END.

{ an independent 21+ final fantasy xiv oc. mutuals only. mature and triggering content will be explored and present. written by rainbow. }

#ffxiv #final fantasy 14 #roleplay blog #indie oc rp #self promo.

[nymfaia]

"Do you believe me to be so unread on the topic that I would need anatomy lessons?"

There's something sharp there underneath the warmth of her voice, akin to a spark flying out of a contained fire, a beast catching his gaze in warning. She need not tell him of her moral stains: something told her that, underneath all his bravado, Zelos was not a man to bed pure maidens as easily as he did those in his usual circles. He was a man first and a Chosen second, but a Chosen all the same, indoctrinated under the guise of Martel's wishes.

She need not worry for Colette, no matter how obliviously Lloyd pined for her. While Zelos wore his impurity as a shield, Colette used her innocence as a weapon. She doubted the girl had thought much of romance outside of marriage and happy, gurgling babes.

The sheer distinction between the two halves chosen had her huff a breath of laughter. Of course she was stained. She came from the same worldly cloth as Zelos. Genis, even born here, had barely spent a full day in his birthplace.

One half filth. One half pristine. Equal.

She took another sobering sip from her cold tea.

"Not worried, so much as curious. A man of your status likely has his choice of partner. Half-elves are few and elusive in nature. I'm not surprised."

(Unsurprised, or disappointed? Were they so few that he simply hadn't the chance, or had he been choosy? They all were the same, she thought, as if an elongated ear made them otherworldly in bed. Nothing such had been said to her, anyway.)

"You'll have to find a better hook to bait me with," she spoke coolly. "I need no instruction on how to put the pieces together - unless you have a novel approach."

She leaned back in the dining chair. Her foot grazed his, eyes gray and flat, sizing up the meal ahead of her. Would the aches and cricked neck be worth it come morn? Would it change their journey, or impact those under their protection?

Would it be worth the time and effort? Well - that was easy to answer. She was like not to sleep anyway, and someone - at least one - needed to keep awake.

She hummed. She finished her tea, the sugar a cloying syrup at the bottom of the mug, and weaseled her foot up the calf of Zelos's pants leg.

"If you wake the children," she leveled, "you will never see my bed again. Understood?"

@nymfaia cont [x]

The fact that she hadn't yet thrown him out on his ass or had any visible signs of the usual irritation had him perking up rather quickly. Could it be that she was actually... considering it? How interesting! Not that he offered that for a laugh, he was quite willing to make good on it should she accept. Perhaps a bit too willing, but can he be blamed?

You put a gorgeous, intelligent woman who does not care for social status and other frivolities, who is not afraid to put him in his place, who has suffered and still remains strong in front of him (and that is just to name a few qualities) and expect him not to try and work his magic? Well that's just setting yourself up for disappointment.

As she leaned, he did the same, smirk still on his lips and strengthened by her daring to indulge him for once. His fingertips drummed on the table below, smirk growing into a sly grin before he replied, making sure to emphasize in all the right places. "Why, I can offer you exclusive insight into the benefits of physical stress relief. I also happen to be very knowledgeable in anatomy~."

Zelos was about to reach over to brush his hand against hers before her next question had him halting before he could so much as move, surprised at both the interest and bluntness with which it was asked. For a moment he shut his eyes and gave a sigh, almost acting as if she had caught him out.

Alas, no. It takes much more than that to shake him and shortly after he met her gaze directly without hesitation nor attempt at deceit. "What, you worried you're gonna be my first?" That might have been endearing if he didn't know better. "Truthfully? Wish I could say yes. I'm probably more open to the idea than most but it's not just me who needs to take the first step." He paused, only to give another smile later. "So? Wanna take that step, Professor?"

#nsfw. #mobile. #long post / #writing lemonade on my lunch break hell yeah homie #i love ur novels. dont feel bad!!

[nymfaia]

COSMIC PERSONA. Ft. Raine & Colette

Tagged by @osovereign / tagging ... @azure-seadragon

#c.olette getting mean is so funny #i do think sometimes abt who she could have been if she weren't religiously indoctrinated #like. i think a lot of her personality is muffled under fear of being selfish #like we DO see her be a little menace now and then and it's so delightful #and r.aine being disorganized suits her too tbh #💡 colette ; hcs. #📜 raine ; hcs. #idk if id call r.aine goofy but she definitely has a little. sassy streak. #and she can get swept away with her academia

[nymfaia]

lovers finding each other again and again is my biggest kryptonite and i can't handle it

#thinkin abt l.ink and z.elda. s.ailor moon and m.amoru. s.ora and k.airi #i played kh1 when i was. 7? and frankly the 'i'll come back for you. i promise' still sticks with me #being able to find your love over and over again is one of my weaknesses akfnkgnkk #if i dwell on the idea too much it makes me cry. imagine being so loved it transcends reincarnation and universes and time and space. #goodbye #ooc.

[nymfaia]

Raine wasn't eligible to go speak to the unicorn because she's done Adult Things. when you're neglected at such a young age as Raine was, and forced into adulthood as early as Raine was, it's not hard to imagine that she sought out attention in ways that were not always age appropriate. having no choice but to do odd jobs before she ever hit puberty to take care of her infant brother put her in a lot of positions beyond her years, whether it was assisting a midwife or working in the back of a pub as a dishwasher among those twice her age.

she learned a lot about adults and what it took to fit in among them, and that her wants were not nearly as far removed from them as she thought: at the core of it all, everyone just wanted to be loved and to belong. that just entailed different things at different ages.

Raine had her first girlfriend at fourteen. for the first time, someone looked at her and her toddling brother and gave affection and not remorse. the human girl had four siblings herself, and Raine had been brought in to assist the local midwife with sterilizing equipment for her fifth-born and helping corral the siblings for a few weeks after as the mother healed.

she had looked at Genis and simply saw another child. the two teenage girls flitted around their feelings, shared giggly first kisses and tended to the hodge-podge mix of babes as if it were a treat and not a burden - that was, until the girl's mother was recovered enough to tend to her own children, and noticed two pair of sharp ears among her brood.

Raine was kicked out of the dwelling. she never saw her little friend again, and did not receive pay for the time she spent helping in the home.

she was sixteen when she had her first "proper" date. Genis had been enrolled in a little one-room school house in a rural area so sparsely populated that it wasn't noted on traveler's maps. he had one friend, an elf that, despite having several summers on Genis, still struggled to read and fumbled over letters. the elderly teacher had been overjoyed to give the child another elf companion - and one that may help them along in their speech, too.

for a few hours a few days a week, Raine was free. she worked in inns and caught fish for eateries. it was in delivering said fish that she met a fellow half-elf, although neither of them admitted to filling that demographic. she brought him fish, and he butchered them. his knifework and speed had her staring every time she visited.

he took her out to get lunch one day. she had laid with him the next, her heart a dry sponge desperate for peer attention and companionship. she thought that was all it took - a few dates and a few rolls together. but it didn't, and when she found him checking out of the inn she worked at, another half-elf at his side, she had never felt so embarrassed in her life.

she hasn't fished since.

there have been one-offs now and then as she forces a translation from lust to love, from momentary affection to acceptance, transcribing words where she know they did not fit. there had been one incident where her bed partner turned violent upon realization of her status, and she refused to return to the town until she traveled with her party a handful of years later.

but, yes - she need not explain to the girls in her charge why she is unable to show herself to the unicorn. she has seen - and tended to - the birth and death of all walks of life, as well as skirted around acts that intend to cause even more. she was not free of sin.

(she knew no one was - but least of all, her.)

#📜 raine ; hcs. #nsfw. #happy sunday. how did it become sunday already. jesus #child abuse tw #request to tag. i know tu.mblr loses its mind over teenagers doing a.dult activities

[nymfaia]

mithos won and lloyd perished. (for colette)

It began to unravel in a single blink.

Zelos had been warm against her back, his pulse thrumming incessantly against her collar, even past his glove. Something had felt wrong with him. Something had felt off with how he had behaved before they arrived at the tower, but Colette -

... Colette looked upon her gut feeling and turned away. The unease prickled her skin and had her worrying her hands, but yet she swallowed down her doubt and ignored it. She had to trust him. She had to trust him: what else would get her to the salvation of the worlds?

Lloyd shouted. She jolted, wanting to calm down the fury in her dearest friend, and Zelos' grip on her tunic tightened. She opened her mouth, hands raising in an attempt to smooth everything over, to eliminate the vicious look in Lloyd's eyes.

It would be fine, she wanted to say. So long as she fulfilled her duty. So long as things worked out, this was -

He lunged. Genis shrieked. Raine reacted a moment too late to put a hand on her student as he charged forward, reaching to the side for his blade.

It felt as if time stood still. Zelos felt frozen against her back. The bare fingers on her neck became clammy, the pulse against her collarbone erratic. He reached around her with ease, as if she weren't an obstacle at all to pulling his own weapon.

She had seen him cut down enemies just the same, but now his combatant was a teenage boy and not a monster. His sword arced, slicing through Lloyd's leather overcoat in a smooth motion.

Blood spattered. It was hot against her face and hands. Lloyd staggered, brown irises peering once at Zelos and then at Colette.

She wondered who had let forth the guttural scream. It didn't sound like Raine or Sheena, but it felt as if it had come from someone outside of her body, even as her throat clenched and her breathing became ragged.

Lloyd had collapsed just as she was teleported away.

Mithos spoke to her as if she were something sweet and delicate, as if her church-issued overcoat wasn't covered in tacky blood, as if she didn't feel more empty now than she ever had with her angel toxicosis. His words felt warm and comforting, as if she were being tucked under another's arm - there, there. The one you had fought for is gone. Maybe it is easier to give up, Chosen.

Maybe, she thought distantly. Maybe. Blood crusted her fingernails and dotted Zelos' cheeks and the back of his glove, the few places she hadn't shielded. He looked hollow.

He looked hollow, and a voice deep within her whispered: he deserves it.

For once, she didn't fight them. Blue eyes met blue, her visage mirrored in the young boy hero's.

"...You won't remember what happened," Mithos promised, her hands clutched in his. "Once you take her memories - all your suffering will be over. You won't need to mourn anymore. Martel - you will be stronger than that."

(Stronger than that. Than the burden of loss. The sinking realization that the one she had lived for had been cut down in such sudden fashion that she had yet to even shed a tear. That Zelos stood there, horrified and broken, as empty as a shell as she was.)

"You didn't deserve your suffering," Mithos whispered. "And neither did Martel."

No. They didn't. And they wouldn't any longer. Mithos squeezed her hands, cold and empty, and it felt like she was grasping as a ghost as he let go, shutting the capsule door after she stepped inside.

No. They didn't. And neither did Lloyd. And neither did Zelos. But maybe - maybe - ... this would fix all of it.

#ooc. #asks. #💡 colette ; hcs. #i considered a verse tag but. considering she'd probably tun into a Boss she wouldn't last long : ) #death tw #murder tw #i think this prompt was meant to be like 'have character react to a bad situation' but my brain went 'wait what if this was an au' #blood tw #violence tw

[nymfaia]

📜 RAINE TIDBITS.

📜 Her seasickness does not stem from simply being unable to stomach uneven waters. It is an easy front to keep up, however, and far easier than explaining the truth. (her anxiety manifests in a weak stomach and vertigo.)

📜 She can't handle rich foods very well. Having spent years seeking scraps and leftovers, giving the lion's share of her food to a growing Genis, she is far more used to eating very little. Combined with her inability to cook, she far prefers simple, fresh foods, and doesn't have a big appetite for meat, a luxury she scarcely could afford.

📜 Raine isn't really certain what she is beyond her knowledge. It began as a shield and is now a crutch, something she weaponized to prove she wasn't beneath others simply because of the slant of her ears: now, she doesn't truly know what things she enjoys beyond textbooks. Sometimes she is uncertain if her love of history and society is real, or if she's just done a really good job of convincing herself of her worth, too.

📜 She is very hard on Genis. She doesn't know how else to be. She became a mother at 11: forced to take on odd jobs, beg, and learn how to survive on her own. She had no one to teach her how to raise Genis, or how to raise herself, and she is desperate to make certain he is ignorant of the hardships she faced. As a result, she has very high, very exacting standards for him: they are what she wished she had for herself.

📜 Under her composure and her attempt to be older than she is, Raine is just 23. While her knowledge of academics is nearly encyclopedic and her world-view is more traveled than most, at her core, she is still an abandoned, broken young adult who did not get a childhood, and prefers to pretend she simply came into existence than to give any credit to her parents. They did her and Genis no favors. Maybe, just maybe, they were doing the best they could, just as she is doing with Genis, but the mere idea of that being "the best" makes Raine shake with rage.

📜 She has a fondness for oversteeped, cold tea. She rarely had a chance to drink it fresh and proper with a child on her hip, and the drink has become a bit of a comfort meal for her.

#emetophobia tw #emeto tw #📜 raine ; hcs. #body functions tw

[nymfaia]

I love that you like Tales of Symphonia :)

i doooo. i'm close to the finish line on it... soon (tm)

#this year so far has been busy but my classes finish mid week next week so i Should have more time soon #i want to finish it out... and work on other games #ooc. #ask.

[nymfaia]

He's there, slumped over the table with pen in hand, looking quite displeased. The light from the lantern making his expression seemingly darker than it should be. Multiple papers are scattered in front of him, with the one at the forefront with instantly recognizable handwriting as being Lloyd's.

Then he lets out a frustrated groan. "Is he even trying?! I know we have bigger things to worry about but come on."

He glances away with a frown only to see her there, eyes widening momentarily before sighing. "Colette's is fine as usual, Genis got one wrong but was pretty close. Lloyd is... Lloyd." He gestured vaguely to the paper. "He may be a lost cause."

She could feel the headache settle between her eyes, a dull sort of ache that warned her she had been reading too long. One would have thought that having three students - well, four now - would have made her teaching job easier.

Unfortunately, most teachers weren't trying to educate children who were fighting to save the world.

Lloyd had always been ... predispositioned to less academic pursuits. He excelled at projects and practical things, but struggled to truly focus on schoolwork. Even Colette, torn between her Chosen duties in their village, managed to study a little bit, wringing out a passing grade on most things she turned in.

"Academically speaking, yes," Raine agreed. "He - ... has never been much for studying."

But not all knowledge was in a book, she knew, and Lloyd possessed wisdom beyond his years, a trait one could not be taught by a book.

"Has he recited all the dwarven vows to you yet?" Raine inquired dryly. "I do believe that is the last thing he has attempted to truly memorize. ... he has a good heart," she said, trailing off into a quiet, fond thing. "And a good head on his shoulders. Now - ... if only he could remember what century we're in."

Her chest felt warm. A smile toyed on her lips as she considered, eyes raising to her peer as she added,

"I highly doubt you were ever a model student, Chosen - even if you are smarter than you let on. Cut the boy some slack."

#ask. #📜 raine ; threads. #zelotae #hi. smoocharoonies!!

[nymfaia]

PROMPTS FOR THE BIG MISUNDERSTANDING *  assorted dialogue for that trope i really hate but you know what, sometimes it's good to explore this stuff even if it makes me mad, adjust as necessary

i overheard you talking earlier.

do you actually love me, or was that a lie, too?

you made me fall in love with you.

you were lying to me this whole time.

i never meant for you to hear that.

oh, i know what you said. you don't need to explain it.

when were you going to tell me the truth?

i just said those things! i don't know what came over me!

so now i know the truth.

this is what i get for trusting you.

i never lied about how i felt.

you're making a big mistake.

i opened myself up to you, and this is how you treat me?

go. i don't want to look at you anymore.

you lied to my face.

you don't need to explain anything. i heard the truth.

i get it. i'll just slow you down.

this was never supposed to happen this way.

look, i'm sorry. can we please talk about this?

you could have been honest with me from the start.

what was this, some kind of game?

i didn't lie about that!

that was your plan all along, wasn't it?

you think you can just walk in, play with my heart, and leave?

you manipulated me this whole time.

now i see you for what you really are.

none of that is true, and you know it.

why won't you give me a chance to explain?

that's all i needed to know.

i was so stupid trusting you.

i never should have listened to you.

that's not what i said!

i was just saying those things to get [name] to leave!

you made it very clear where you stand.

might be better if i just leave now.

you never wanted me around anyway.

so this was all a game to you?

how did you hear that? who told you?

yes, i lied to you, but i didn't mean for it to get this far!

i didn't mean any of it!

and all this time, i thought you actually loved me.

what a fool i was to trust you.

the longer you stand there, the angrier i get.

i'm walking out of here, and i'm never coming back.

nothing you could say right now would make me change my mind.

oh, i heard you. i heard everything.

[name] told me you were lying.

i know what really happened. you can stop pretending.

were you ever going to tell me the truth, or were you planning on stringing me along forever?

so that's it? you're just leaving?

did you really mean what you said, or was that a lie too?

everything is called into question.

i didn't lie about my feelings for you.

as much as i'd love to believe you, i can't. not anymore.

they were right about you all along.

when they warned me about you, i didn't believe them.

i never want to see you again.

please pack your things.

#asks.

[nymfaia]

📜 RAINE TIDBITS.

📜 Her seasickness does not stem from simply being unable to stomach uneven waters. It is an easy front to keep up, however, and far easier than explaining the truth. (her anxiety manifests in a weak stomach and vertigo.)

📜 She can't handle rich foods very well. Having spent years seeking scraps and leftovers, giving the lion's share of her food to a growing Genis, she is far more used to eating very little. Combined with her inability to cook, she far prefers simple, fresh foods, and doesn't have a big appetite for meat, a luxury she scarcely could afford.

📜 Raine isn't really certain what she is beyond her knowledge. It began as a shield and is now a crutch, something she weaponized to prove she wasn't beneath others simply because of the slant of her ears: now, she doesn't truly know what things she enjoys beyond textbooks. Sometimes she is uncertain if her love of history and society is real, or if she's just done a really good job of convincing herself of her worth, too.

📜 She is very hard on Genis. She doesn't know how else to be. She became a mother at 11: forced to take on odd jobs, beg, and learn how to survive on her own. She had no one to teach her how to raise Genis, or how to raise herself, and she is desperate to make certain he is ignorant of the hardships she faced. As a result, she has very high, very exacting standards for him: they are what she wished she had for herself.

📜 Under her composure and her attempt to be older than she is, Raine is just 23. While her knowledge of academics is nearly encyclopedic and her world-view is more traveled than most, at her core, she is still an abandoned, broken young adult who did not get a childhood, and prefers to pretend she simply came into existence than to give any credit to her parents. They did her and Genis no favors. Maybe, just maybe, they were doing the best they could, just as she is doing with Genis, but the mere idea of that being "the best" makes Raine shake with rage.

📜 She has a fondness for oversteeped, cold tea. She rarely had a chance to drink it fresh and proper with a child on her hip, and the drink has become a bit of a comfort meal for her.

#emetophobia tw #emeto tw #📜 raine ; hcs. #body functions tw

[nymfaia]

"So, Professor..." He's leaning against the table, hand cradling his chin and looking all too smug. What comes next out of his mouth should be expected from anyone who has known him for more than a minute. "How about some private lessons~?"

"Private?"

She leaned forward. It was well past nightfall: their charges were, assuredly, asleep in their own Inn rooms, or were being quiet enough that she wasn't too suspicious about their activities. Sheena and Colette; Genis and Lloyd. She oft shared a room with Presea, and Zelos with Regal - when she was having a good day.

Presea's good days were few and far between when they stayed in Altamira. She struggled with her own ghosts, and Regal's manservant recognizing her as Alicia's sibling had done the girl no favors. On bad days, she stayed at Regal's side.

He was the closest to family she still had, Raine supposed. Had things been different - ...

She let out a long hum. Her nails tapped her tea mug. She placed her chin in her palm, staring across the little table to the man who would share a room with her, if they ever turned in. They had been traveling so long that taking shifts almost came naturally.

"You know," Raine spoke, tilting her head just so. "You may be onto something. It has been a while since I've been taught anything new - it is quite a big ask, I'm afraid. What, exactly, do you have to offer me?"

She feigned ignorance just as she did to the children in their care. They need not know everything: that Inn stays were few and far between because they needed to eat, and they refused to do much hunting besides killing beasts. That trying to accommodate dietary needs, let alone wants, for a group from multiple different cultures, had proven a task that required a page in her journal to keep track of.

That trying to keep them children through it all was an even larger ask. Larger then any one they had faced so far.

And if they had gotten to be children - ... why couldn't she be an adult sometimes, too?

"Do half-elves often share your bed, Zelos?"

It was an innocent question at the surface. Her eyes never strayed from his, peering through him as if he were well-polished glass, waiting for the true response before he found a proper one to replace it.

#📜 raine ; threads. #why wont my tags stick. i hate it here #zelotae #nsfw. #turn tables BITCH