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𝚑𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚢 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚍𝚎:
—– 𝙴𝚅𝙴𝙽 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙽𝚄𝚁𝚂𝙴𝚂 𝙰𝚁𝙴 𝚂𝚄𝚁𝙿𝚁𝙸𝚂𝙴𝙳 𝙰𝚃 𝙼𝙾𝙾𝙳𝚈'𝚂 𝚂𝚄𝙳𝙳𝙴𝙽 𝙲𝙾𝙽𝚂𝙲𝙸𝙾𝚄𝚂𝙽𝙴𝚂𝚂. his bandaged hand reaches out toward hermione, his eyes just barely open. the young man, known for his impeccable self-care, has a rare shadow along his jaw and cheeks.
“ i know how it must feel, ma’am, “ the nurse begins. “ but, we must insist you leave. we don’t want him overwhelmed. our priority right now is to keep him alive. “
henry sighs and begins to take the clothes from her arms. “ i will dress him. he needs a familiar face around him. it will do him some good. “
“ hermione, take the chocolate and feed him, will you ?? “ henry asks, pointing to the poor young nurse who is trying desperately for him to eat. that poor girl is about ready to give up.
the nurse turns around, her lips pressed tightly. “ sir, we are healthcare professionals and we are properly trained. with all due respect to the young miss, we weren’t taught by watching our mothers - we have years of proper experience !! “
“ no point in arguing with the chief, “ charles pipes up, as makes his way to pour a hot cup of tea for james to sip. “ once he’s made his mind up, there is no going back. “
the nurse huffs for a moment, her eyes longingly on james. charles notes this exchange, as james glances back at the nurse, innocently. she and her team move onto the next patient.
“ right, james. you needn’t worry about being embarrassed. i have sons and we are both grown men - “
“ lord, chief. you are making this more awkward than it needs to be. “ charles snickers as he puts a couple cubes of sugar into the tea.
henry turns and straightens the dividers, shielding james as charles takes the blanket off him. with the cold air hitting his naked body, james moves quickly into a fetal position, shaking harder.
“ we’ll need to take off those bandages to fit the shirt and trousers on, “ henry says, quickly. both charles and henry get to work, quickly unravelling. underneath, his skin looks extremely bruised, raw, and sore. luckily, none of his limbs have turned black. james groans in pain as his wounds meet the air.
“ this might be a bit painful, but you need new wraps anyways. these are a tad grim now. “ charles assures james as henry begins to lift james legs to fit on the underwear.
redressing james goes quicker than expected. they had to dress him quickly to get him warm but they didn’t want to rush so much that he would become in significant pain. luckily, they managed to keep him happy and by then end, he is snugly warm.
“ i will fetch the nurses to redress his wounds, “ charles announces as he disappears into the open room.
henry sits at the edge of his bed, gently patting the younger officer’s hair, in a rather paternal manner. james would normally object to this, as henry certainly is not his father. he knows how lucky he is to be alive so he will take any affection he can get in the moment.
“ t-t-thank y-you, “ he chatters up to henry before his gaze turns to hermione. “ i-i-i was s-so afraid th-th-that i would never s-see you again. “
just as james reaches out to touch her face, affection words ready to escape his red, raw lips, charles enters with the same nurse from before. she is a petite woman, with a pale face, freckles, and her deep mahogany waves tied nearly up under her nurse’s bonnet. her haunting brown eyes seems to look into your very soul.
“ right, he needs rest now !! “ she clucks, as she unlocks a cabinet to reveal fresh dressings. “ i will call for you when he is perked up, mister ?? “
“ wilde, “ henry quickly answers. “ chief officer henry wilde. “
“ right, mister wilde and guests, we will send for you soon. “
𝚂𝙷𝙴 𝙾𝙿𝙴𝙽𝚂 𝙷𝙴𝚁 𝙼𝙾𝚄𝚃𝙷 𝚃𝙾 𝚁𝙴𝚃𝙾𝚁𝚃, 𝙱𝚄𝚃 𝙻𝚄𝙲𝙺𝙸𝙻𝚈, 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙻𝙴𝚂 𝙷𝙰𝙳 𝚂𝙿𝙾𝙺𝙴𝙽, 𝚂𝙷𝙴 𝙲𝙻𝙾𝚂𝙴𝚂 𝙷𝙴𝚁 𝙼𝙾𝚄𝚃𝙷. silently, she huffs. her mother was an excellent nurse !! she crossed her arms but she was thankful that henry took the reins, but she spotted that familiar look. that she gave to them all. that look. there’s a pang of jealousy in her chest, but she tries to ignore it.
after all, she had broken james’ heart in the first place. she turns her head towards another patient, hoping that her look was not spotted by charles or henry, the last thing she wanted to do was to add confusion. she had no right to be jealous. she knew they would be pondering what she was to her, she couldn’t claim to be james’ girlfriend when there’s a man on her left that proposed to her days ago, and a man to her right that saved her life and comforted her like no other.
affectionately, she watched henry and charles change him into warmer clothing. “ see, ” she chuckles, her eyes lovingly on them, “ it’s better with familiar faces,” as soon as she said it, she regretted saying something so unlike her. ( or did she ? ) she goes closer to james, with a faint smile on her lips. her heart was aching that he was in pain and that he was still cold, she wishes that she was able to swap places. she rests a hand on henry’s shoulder, showing her appreciation for him doing that. would she be able to do it? perhaps so! but james might have felt more comfortable with henry and charles changing his clothes. “ thank you charles, ” she speaks, but he’s leaving the room, feeling a tad frustrated.
she knows this nurse would insist on them going. she wanted to be the one to do this for him, but she’s breathing deeply. at least he would be in safe hands. as soon as he spoke again, though, she looked towards him, “ oh james,” she said softly, “i was so afraid too, if it was my choice i wouldn’t have got into the lifeboat until you and henry were in it. but you’re so brave ---” she’s sitting on her knees now, looking at him as he starts to reach for her, but is frustrated when she hears the nurse’s voice again.
“ we are not only guests. ” she murmurs under her breath, it comes out quite bitterly.
. she looks towards henry and charles, her eyes pleading for them to stay. she hadn’t even got a chance to feed him his chocolate yet!! “ i haven’t had a chance to feed him chocolate yet,” her voice is irritated, “really,” she murmurs under her breath, before looking at james. “ i’ll feed you this and i’ll let you rest, ” she hasn’t moved from her spot. lightly, she strokes james’ hair and she breaks off a piece of chocolate, the piece moving towards his mouth, “ i’m remembering what we had for our dessert on the ship. i don’t think i finished mine, i was too distracted. ” she breaks off another piece, clearly, she looked like she was not going anywhere.
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𝚑𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚢 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚍𝚎
—– “ 𝚆𝙴 𝙽𝙴𝙴𝙳 𝚃𝙾 𝙳𝙸𝚂𝙲𝚄𝚂𝚂 𝚃𝙷𝙸𝚂 𝚆𝙸𝚃𝙷 𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝙰𝚂 𝙷𝙸𝚂 𝙲𝙾𝙽𝙳𝙸𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽 𝙸𝚂 . . . ” charles’ voice trails off. he knows how excited she is to hear of his survival. he can see it in her eyes. it is difficult to perhaps disappoint her so soon after this news.
henry kneels down, stroking her hand gently. “ darling, he is very ill. he is lucky to be alive, even still. “
charles hums in agreement. “ he is severely hypothermic. he is, more than likely, dying, “ the second officer takes her other hand. “ we will go see him. he will be happy to see you. we just want you to be prepared for the worst. “
they help her stand and they walk inside and toward the ship’s infirmary. inside is loads of commotion, many were being treated for frozen feet - including harold bride who was sipping on hot chocolate. his eyes widen as hermione passes.
at the end of the room, a plethora of staff surround the sixth officer’s bed. a nurse is hanging up his wet clothes, including underwear to dry. another is trying to feed him chocolate, begging him to eat. james lay in the bed, nude for the most part but under several blankets. he is shivering violently, eyes closed.
“ please, sir !! “ a nurse begs. “ we need to get some sugar into your system. “
a nurse turns to see henry, charles, and hermione standing, watching in shock as they try to to warm their friend up, just as another pushes past them.
“ we found a passenger who wears the same size as him !! he’s offered to lend some dry clothes. “
“ perfect, we’ll dress him then !! “
the nurse looks back at the three visitors. “ i am sorry, you will have to leave. we will send you for as soon as we have stabilised him. he is still quite vulnera- “
“ h-h-her-h-hermione ?? “ they hear james stutter behind them. his voice is raspy and weak. “ i-i-i-i-i-i-is th-that y-y-y-you ?? “
𝚂𝙷𝙴 𝙻𝙸𝚂𝚃𝙴𝙽𝚂 𝙲𝙰𝚁𝙴𝙵𝚄𝙻𝙻𝚈, 𝙽𝙾𝙳𝙳𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙸𝙽 𝚄𝙽𝙳𝙴𝚁𝚂𝚃𝙰𝙽𝙳𝙸𝙽𝙶, 𝙱𝚄𝚃 𝚂𝙷𝙴 𝚁𝙴𝙼𝙰𝙸𝙽𝚂 𝙷𝙾𝙿𝙴𝙵𝚄𝙻 𝚁𝙴𝙶𝙰𝚁𝙳𝙻𝙴𝚂𝚂. . . he could still die . . . but he is alive, severely unwell, but as she grips both henry and charles’ hand as they lead to where he is. out of the corner of her eye, she spots harold bride sipping on a hot chocolate. her heart leaps, but perhaps she would get a chance to speak to him a little later. she was grateful that he managed to make it safe and well, the guilt was starting to hang over her now. but the image of those wonderful nurses that are working are incredible, it makes her heart warm, it brings a small smile to her lips. “ oh look, ” it’s a whisper, she steps forward to look at him. she hates seeing him like this, she wants to warm him up herself. subconsciously, her grip on their hands becomes tighter.
she wishes that she could attend to him instead. after all, this is what her mother did for years until her father ruined everything, even her own reputation. looking after the unwell, treating them, making them better, holding their hands as they took their last breath. but she doesn’t want to leave the room . . she thought he was dead, but she knows that he needs urgent attention and care. she knows that they are doing their best. “ i don’t want to go, i want to see him first. ” to say hello, to tell she is sorry, to ask him what she could do for him even though he may not respond to her at all, and lastly, she wants to tell him he is incredibly brave and a strong man to survive this. to tell him that his friends are so relieved that he’s alive. ( little does he know that she’s thanking above for letting him live. ) she wants to rush to him, dress him in thick socks with a thick jumper and make sure that he is eating. she’s feeling disappointed when they’re told to go, she’s about to insist if she’ll be able to stay for a while, she turns but she froze to the spot when she hears james calling her name.
she wants to take him into her arms and make sure that he feels her warmth, there’s a smile on her face. she takes a minute to respond. “ it’s me. ” she manages to speak. it’s not in a whisper or in a murmur.
“ oh please, can i stay ? “ she looks pleadingly at the nurse, “ my mother is --,” she pauses, it cuts her for a moment. “ she was a nurse herself and she’s taught me a few tricks throughout the years.” she looks at henry and charles.
“ can we ?? just for a little bit ? it’s been a frightening time for all of us thinking the worst,” she swallows, “ we want to spend time with him and make him comfortable.” their words still rang in her head about his condition. “ we’ll even encourage him to eat, i am fed up waiting on news. . . and i know you all have been working extremely hard on everyone on this ship, a break is well deserved while i am sitting around ! ” it was worth the shot, after all, because, james was worth it. she squeezes both henry & charles hands again. “ i am afraid of losing him.” she admits.
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𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚘𝚕𝚍 𝚋𝚛𝚒𝚍𝚎:
—– “ ‘𝙼 𝙶𝙾𝙽𝙽𝙰 𝙷𝙰𝚅𝙴 𝙱𝙻𝚄𝙴 𝙱𝙰𝙻𝙻𝚂 𝙱𝚈 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙴𝙽𝙳 𝙾𝙵 𝚃𝙷𝙸𝚂 !! ” he moans against her lips. his trousers are practically a tent now, which is horribly embarrassing. if only he had the guts to undo his trousers. they didn’t have to be completely naked to have sex.
as his tongue explores her mouth, he takes her hand down towards the stiffness between his legs. he guides her hand forward and back against him. if they can just do this quickly, that would lovely but that clearly isn’t possible when . . .
“ what the hell is going on here ?! “ he turns, and of course, jack has walked in. he knew something like this would happen because it is just his luck.
“ shitting hell !! “ harold exclaims, hands quickly moving to his privates. the tent goes down real quick, thankfully.
“ you can’t do that stuff in here, bride, “ jack snaps. “ what if an officer walks in here ?? that moody lad just said he was going to check for ice warnings. “
“ we’ve got none !! “ harold says, meekly.
“ yeah, well, you’ve gotten something right here . . . “ jack walks over and grabs the capsule, unraveling it and reading. “ for a passenger named hermione granger . . . is that you ?? “
𝙷𝙴𝚁 𝙱𝚁𝙴𝙰𝚃𝙷 𝙸𝚂 𝚀𝚄𝙸𝙲𝙺𝙴𝙽𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝚄𝙽𝙳𝙴𝚁 𝙷𝙸𝚂 𝚃𝙾𝚄𝙲𝙷, 𝙵𝙴𝙴𝙻𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙷𝙸𝚂 𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙳𝙽𝙴𝚂𝚂 𝙸𝙽 𝙷𝙸𝚂 𝚃𝚁𝙾𝚄𝚂𝙴𝚁𝚂 𝙼𝙰𝙺𝙴𝚂 𝙷𝙴𝚁 𝙼𝙾𝙸𝚂𝚃. she is gasping, holding him, she’s wanting to hitch up her dress and to pull aside her garments. she moved her lips against his passionately and fiercely but her heart almost leaps out of her chest when she hears another unfamiliar voice. shakingly, she moved away from harold bride as her cheeks went a bright red. ( although, she supposed that it could be worse. at least it wasn’t the captain or one of the officers. )
her mouth is hanging by light, she pushes her dress down and fixes herself quickly as she listens jack scolding harold. she feels guilty, she knew that he didn’t want to do it in this room but she still insisted, she bit her lip. well, she was rather glad that none of the officers had walked into the room. how incredibly awkward would that be ? especially james, but she steps aside, offering harold an apologetic look.
her eyes widened though when there was a telegram there for her. finally !! her mother must have got the message. she knew how edward could be with these things, and her father, well, he must be furious that she ran away to titanic. it was unlikely it was john, either. goodness knows what happened back home, although at least this would give her some idea what was going on, “ yes. “ she nods. so. the telegram was from her mother or uncle edward. she would not been happy if it was addressed to hermione loughty.
“ thank you.” there’s an awkward pause, she can feel it between her and jack. cheekily, she glances towards harold before she paced a few steps forward to read.
‘ hermione, your mother passed away when the titanic set sail on april 10th. she passed away in my arms. safe journey, darling. ’ it was enclosed with her uncle’s initials EG. she read it a couple of times, she felt like this was a mistake, or a terrible prank. she knew her mother was ill, but last week she was hugging her while hermione was in her wedding dress, kissing her cheek. now she’s gone ??
“ there must be some kind of a mistake. ” she whispers. there would be no other hermione’s on this ship, she assumes. her breath hitches in her throat, her shoulders slump. her heart is thudding hard. does she thank them ?? it would explain why he didn’t contact her the first telegram she sent. all this time she had been dead. she swallows hard. a few minutes ago, she was enjoying the moment with harold bride.
slowly, she turns around. she honestly feels like she’s in a dream ---- no a nightmare. she looks at harold and briefly at jack, “ are you sure this is. . . ,” she glances at the initials, “ for me ? ” she was trying to calm herself down, but tears were threatening to break. no, her mother couldn’t be gone. her uncle was lying. “ he’s told me my mother passed away. how can that be true? “ apologies, can i sit down for a minute ?” she’s still clutching the telegram as if it would magically appear differently.
“ hermione, your mother passed away when the titanic set sail.’” she’s repeating the telegram out loud. it’s as if her brain is failing to process it, “ is that all uncle edward ?” she’s angrily speaking to the telegram. “ my mother has been dead since the ttianic set sail and he only sent me one now ?? ” she couldn’t understand it, why hadn’t her father got in touch ?
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The person I reblogged this from is awesome as fuck.
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What's the purest form of love?
Laughing during sex
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" 𝙷𝙴'𝚂 𝚂𝚄𝙻𝙺𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙱𝙴𝙲𝙰𝚄𝚂𝙴 𝙷𝙴 𝙶𝙾𝚃 𝙳𝙴𝚃𝙴𝙽𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽 𝙵𝚁𝙾𝙼 𝚂𝙽𝙰𝙿𝙴.” she wants to swat his hand away, but she doesn’t.
she shakes her head, her quill stopping on her parchment midway, “ besides, stop looking. are you throwing him dirty looks? ” she questioned, raising an eyebrow, “ you are quite the cheeky one, considering what happened last night.” she blushes bright red, she can’t really stop thinking about last night.
“ you do sound tired, “ she purrs slowly, she leans back on her chair, she tilts her head. “ is he still giving you dirty looks ?”
starter call // @ofherage
—– “ 𝙸𝙲𝙺𝙻𝙴 𝚆𝙾𝙽𝙰𝙻𝙳 𝙺𝙴𝙴𝙿𝚂 𝚂𝙷𝙾𝙾𝚃𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙼𝙴 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙳𝙸𝚁𝚃𝙸𝙴𝚂𝚃 𝙻𝙾𝙾𝙺𝚂 !! ” jim catches hermione’s sleeve. ‘ ickle wonald ‘ comes out in a squeaky mocking voice. he isn’t sure if hermione has told him about their little adventure last night.
“ i am not putting up with that tonight, “ the seventh year declares. “ if he has a problem, he can come talk to me like a man !! “
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i’ll be on @belfastfallen & @simplypanicked in a bit // this evening. i haven’t been really well in the past few days but im starting to pick up now.
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𝚑𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚢 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚍𝚎
—– 𝚆𝙷𝙴𝙽 𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚈 𝙱𝙾𝙰𝚁𝙳 𝙲𝙰𝚁𝙿𝙰𝚃𝙷𝙸𝙰, 𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚈 𝙰𝚁𝙴 𝙶𝚁𝙴𝙴𝚃𝙴𝙳 𝚆𝙸𝚃𝙷 𝙴𝚅𝙴𝙽 𝙼𝙾𝚁𝙴 𝙱𝙻𝙰𝙽𝙺𝙴𝚃𝚂, 𝙷𝙾𝚃 𝙳𝚁𝙸𝙽𝙺𝚂, 𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝙵𝙾𝙾𝙳. survivors crowd around as new ones are pulled aboard. children are placed in sacks and tugged in ropes. roger is very hesitant at first but with some reassurance by henry, he agrees to be pulled up this way.
for the next several hours, they sit on deck as they are processed. they give their names and wait again. henry does not want to leave hermione’s side, but he is still on duty.
“ i’ll be back soon. if you’d like, you and roger can sleep in the room they’ve given me. there is a settee that i will sleep on instead. “ he tells her, before he departs for his duties. he meets with the surviving officers, who are looking out at the ocean. there is a dark spot where all the bodies lay on the horizon.
“ there is another lifeboat coming, “ joseph boxhall mentions. “ they sent some more people out and look !! “
henry squints his eyes, and he sees a boat full of people coming towards the ship.
“ i thought we collected the rest of the survivors, “ henry says, confusion in a tired, raspy voice.
“ thought we did, “ retorts officer lowe. “ but not all of the lifeboats returned to carpathia. perhaps, there was another one overturned. “
carpathia’s fourth officer, mister geoffrey barnish rushes next to them with binoculars in hand.
“ my word !! “ he exclaims. “ they’ve found more !! “
harold leans towards mister barnish. “ might i borrow those, sir ?? “
the lancashire man obliges, handing mister lowe the binoculars. he peers through them. “ good god !! “
harold rushes towards the crowd of sailors readying the ladders. the others peer at the boat and rush to join him. henry can’t quite see what they are fussing over yet but another boat of survivors is as good as any.
henry takes a stack of blankets and hands one to each man who comes aboard. he hears squeals of excitement of families being reunited behind him, along with cries of anguish as hope fades for those who are still missing their husbands.
“ i am so glad to see you, old bean !! “ he hears herbert exclaim and he turns to see charles lightoller shaking his hand vigorously.
“ and i you, mister pitman, “ the second officer returns. he seems in good shape as any and he sighs in relief. charles moves on from the third officer and meets the chief’s relieved eyes.
“ mister wilde - “ his voice is suddenly urgent.
“ she’s is alive and well, charles, “ henry assures him, handing him a tartan blanket. charles smiles back at him and they exchange a firm handshake, and the two officers turn as they hear commotion behind them.
“ careful !! careful !! don’t drop him !! “
like him, many are curious to see what ( or who ) they have. perhaps an infant or a small child, but as the crowd parts, three figures emerge. the blankets drop the the floor with a slight ‘ boof ‘, as he sees the ghost in front of him.
two sailors holding him up on either side, his legs and arms bound tightly in bandages. james moody stands before him, alive, but not particularly well. the man ( he is tempted to call him a boy, but he is far from that now ), is pale as snow. under his eyes are heavy, dark bags and his lips are a lilac purple. at first, he seems like an empty shell being dragged along, his head bobbing as if he is struggling to keep it up. how is he alive ?? god, how is he alive ??
henry doesn’t realise his jaw is dropped and his knees begin to fall under him as james finally meets his stare. it is as if he was reanimated then as a sense of familiarity enters his existence.
“ i watched him die, charles. “
“ he told me he thought he was going to. he was in the water for a very long time, “ charles gravely murmurs. “ he was pulled under but he managed to swim away from the current. he kept swimming ‘til he found us. “
henry shakes his head in disbelief. he must be falling into some sort of hysteria. he is seeing things and hearing things to make sense of those ghosts in front of him. “ that does not make sense . . . “
charles hums in agreement. “ it is a bloody miracle if you ask me. “
“ we need to tell hermione. she thinks he’s dead. “
henry goes to walk but charles grasps his arm. “ he is not in a good way. he could die at any moment. he’s been deteriorating since we rescued him. we need to prepare her for that. “
“ understood. “ henry agrees, and both turn and push through the onlooking crowd. they find hermione right where henry had left her. charles rushes forward, enveloping her into his arms.
“ i was so worried about you, “ he mews at her. he wants to kiss her and he nearly does when henry clears his throat behind him. he pulls back, and takes her cheek in his hand. “ james moody is alive. “
𝙷𝙴𝚁𝙼𝙸𝙾𝙽𝙴 𝙾𝙵𝙵𝙴𝚁𝚂 𝙷𝙴𝙽𝚁𝚈 𝙰 𝚆𝙴𝙰𝙺 𝚂𝙼𝙸𝙻𝙴 𝙰𝚂 𝙷𝙴 𝚆𝙰𝙻𝙺𝚂 𝙰𝚆𝙰𝚈 𝚃𝙾 𝙰𝚃𝚃𝙴𝙽𝙳 𝚃𝙾 𝙷𝙸𝚂 𝙳𝚄𝚃𝙸𝙴𝚂. she watches him until the crowds of families are reunited, she’s happy to see children being reunited with one of their parents, but her heart aches when there’s women crying, searching for their husbands, their futures snatched away from them like that. it’s made her realise that she hasn’t given herself time to reflect until now. she’s thanking god that she’s being given an opportunity to do that again. she feels a tiny hand gripping hers, she turns to look at roger. it is clear that he’s trying to seek out his papa, but he gets up, he’s still a young boy. “ i won’t be far hermy !! “ it is clear that he’s seen children his own age, but she smiles, “ don’t go too near the edge, we’ve been in the water plenty, i think. ”
“ too cold. ” roger declares nodding before he walks towards a small group of children, she watches him like a hawk until he reaches a little girl around the same age as him. her heart truly melts as she watches him swinging their hands together. hermione sends a wave to him but he grins towards her. who knew that this little boy would be so precious to her already ?? maybe she wouldn’t be too bad becoming a mother, perhaps she could do it.
as she turns back to gather her thoughts. maybe she could be a mother to this little boy if roger wanted that. if his father didn’t make it. she couldn’t leave him, but she watches the crowds as there’s something clearly going on. her curiosity is getting the better of her again, she manages to stand, her ankle doesn’t seem too bad now. not that she would be walking much anyhow.
she knows they would be extremely busy, but she hopes that the other officers will talk to her. she didn’t want to worry too much. but she cannot see anything, she sits down, pulling out charles handkerchief to blow her nose. ( she hopes charles won’t mind too much, but she makes a mental note to clean it later ) she closes her eyes, she wishes that she knew about her mother’s secret, but no doubt that her uncle edward & herself would be reunited, so she will definitely ask him, but she can’t help but feel enraged at him. he sends her a telegram that they buried their mother ??? is that all he had to say for himself ?? why couldn’t her own father send a telegram ?? it doesn’t make sense.
she’s looking at her feet in her soaked shoes through the sunlight, she takes her shoes off to let them dry, but truly she realises she feels like throwing them all away --- all her belongings. it dawns upon her that she left her ring in that same drawer the day she boarded on titanic. it had cursed it. but at least, it’s gone now.
she looks up as she hears feet coming towards her. she felt so relieved seeing charles, but henry was coming too, they both looked serious. . . oh god, did something else happen ?? she braces herself as charles swoops her into his arms, she tightens her hug as he expresses that she was safe and well.
but once the embrace is broken, she looks at henry & charles. there’s an extremely worried expression on her face, her mouth hangs as charles tells her that james is alive. “ what ??” she whispers, she can feel her knees buckling, her left hand gripped henry’s hand while her other gripped charles’ arm to keep her upright. “ is he alright ?? “ she tries to look. but she knows that he needs rest, anxiety taking over. “ how did he survive ?? “ she then looks at henry with a smile, “ he’s alive ! i am so grateful. i’m so grateful that you’re all alive and safe, i truly. . . i don’t know what i would do if i lost any of you. ” it’s true. she feels so much.
“ i’ll give him time to --- or will it be alright to see him now ?? “ she’s afraid of losing him still. she glances back at the little roger who is playing games on the carpathia. “ henry, could you try and find that little boy’s father for me ? “ she knows deep down that his father didn’t make it, but she wants to be certain. “ i know it’s unlikely… “ she says, glancing at charles, “ it breaks my heart that he’s left all alone with no one. i can’t leave him, i simply cannot .”
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when your mutuals are enjoying your threads with the wonderful @sixthofficer 🥺👉🏻👈🏻
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𝚑𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚢 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚍𝚎:
—– 𝙷𝙴 𝚃𝚁𝙴𝙼𝙱𝙻𝙴𝚂 𝚄𝙽𝙳𝙴𝚁 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙴𝚅𝙴𝚁𝚈𝙱𝙾𝙳𝚈'𝚂 𝚆𝙾𝚁𝚁𝙸𝙴𝙳 𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚁𝙴𝚂. he sits up, resting his back against the side of the boat. his chest heaves as his eyes meet hers. she’s right. there was nothing to be done. both his and james’ hands were so wet and he was being sucked down faster than he could imagine. he needs to drill this in his mind but every time he closes his eyes, he hears officer moody’s teasing chuckle.
“ what is he talking about ?? “ officer lowe questions. the chief shakes his head, weakly.
“ officer moody has died. “ he says, flatly. even saying that seems surreal. when will he wake up from this nightmare ?? “ along with hundreds of other poor souls. “
the boat goes silent. they are surrounded by a floating graveyard and officer wilde refuses to look. harold lowers to the bench, steadily wrapping his arm around hermione. he continues to address officer wilde nonetheless.
“ it’s you, me, bert, and joe, “ he mutters. “ will is confirmed dead. we’ve yet to find charles. at this rate, i would reckon he’s dead as well. “
henry nods. he knows that the second officer’s death would hit hermione hard. they share an extremely strong bond and it was evident in charles’ behavior during the sinking. he prays that he is found alive.
“ right, lads, “ henry announces. “ row us to the rest of the lifeboats. do we know who is coming ?? “
“ i heard carpathia is on her way, sir, “ harold replies. officer lowe gives hermione a short rub on the small of her back before he stands to point his flashlight.
“ keep looking for survivors !! “ he cries.
they move slowly through the floating graveyard. harold still shouts out, hoping to receive an answer. there was a couple who were still alive, but one passes away shortly at his retrieval. the women gasp as they have no choice to put his body back in the water.
they escape the pool of victims and meet with the other boats. by then, henry is feeling perkier and he helps the other officers secure the lifeboats together. there is no talking, or chatter. there is only mourning.
on the horizon, the lights of carpathia come into view. the sun is just breaking over the water. the exhausted survivors never felt more relieved.
𝙽𝙾𝚃𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙲𝙾𝚄𝙻𝙳 𝙷𝙰𝚅𝙴 𝙴𝚅𝙴𝚁 𝙿𝚁𝙴𝙿𝙰𝚁𝙴𝙳 𝙷𝙴𝚁 𝙵𝙾𝚁 𝚃𝙷𝙸𝚂, she doesn’t dare ask questions. she doesn’t think she could handle another death but they say ‘ things always come in threes’ usually, she’s not superstitious but she’s starting to believe now. she’s staring right ahead, she knows she shouldn’t be looking. she swallows down tears when harold wraps his arms around her, she wants to tell him they were both stupid. but she struggles to find any words, she couldn’t say the right thing. she didn’t want to say anything. what could she say ??
roger was fast asleep in her arms now, she was glad because she couldn’t speak as they had moved across the watery graveyard, she squeezed her eyes shut at one point, she couldn’t bear to think james in that same position or charles. she wanted to say that she was grateful that herbert and joseph managed to survive as well, but the debatable question of charles made her heart sink. he was so willing to protect her from anything and anyone, but she was bracing and ready. the thoughts of james being alive had built her so much hope, she kept playing that scene in her mind. ‘ stop torturing yourself!’ there were so many words she wanted to say, she wanted wilde & lowe beside her, but she knows when help came she would have her opportunity. if anything, this journey has taught her one thing: it is to be grateful for every minute you have. this was the last thing she had imagined what was going to happen.
as the night goes on, she feels tired from all the crying she done. she was afraid of falling asleep and falling into the water, meeting the fate that the rest of the others had done. she loses the battle as she is finally warm in the warmth of the blankets and the fact she is safe & well.
but she can’t help but feel guilty. so many people had died, she barely thought of anyone but herself and the officers survival when she seen the water building up. so many men had lost their lives, including james. he’s in her dreams briefly. them two having dinner, slipping their hands and kissing each other in that expensive car. she awoke though when roger was pulling at her dress that was somewhat dried now, the sunlight had almost blinded her at first. she thinks she isn’t feeling afraid of her future anymore, because she knows she has everyone now that deserves to be in it. including roger.
the boy smiles up sleepily towards her, “ look, hermy, the sun is up !! ”
she opens her mouth to speak but she cannot. but yes, the sun is up and she sees another ship coming into view. she is feeling a little anxious, she glances at wilde and lowe. she wants to tell them she’s afraid, that she’s scared in case she ends up in new york and never see them again.
but she cannot ignore the little boy that’s staring excitedly up at her, she smiles and points at the carpathia, “ this ship has come to rescue us, but i think you need more sleep young man. how does a story on this ship sound ?” her voice is whispering to him, her voice trembling, she hopes the others don’t notice. she looks at the rest of the other officers, including lowe & wilde. the little boy nods excitedly before he snuggles into her, she wraps him up more in blankets. he needs it more than she does right now. her hand searches in her pockets, charles handkerchief has survived.
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𝚑𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚢 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚍𝚎
—– 𝙸𝚃 𝙸𝚂 𝙰 𝙵𝙴𝚆 𝙼𝙸𝙽𝚄𝚃𝙴𝚂 𝚄𝙽𝚃𝙸𝙻 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚂𝙸𝙽𝙶𝙻𝙴 𝙻𝙸𝙵𝙴𝙱𝙾𝙰𝚃 𝙸𝚂 𝙱𝙴𝚂𝙸𝙳𝙴 𝚃𝙷𝙴𝙼. there were a few people who looked to have been pulled out of the water and were wrapped in blankets, shivering and frostbitten. one by one, the survivors are transferred with the guiding hands of harold lowe and the men who were rowing.
when harold sees hermione, he feels a flood of relief but he dares not show it. he wants to forget all this and hold her in his arms and tell her how stupid he was for saying those cruel things. instead, she seems preoccupied with officer wilde. he understands. they both went through something traumatic together and that will bond them for the rest of their lives. he will accept that. henry is a good man, a good father, and he will take care of her. he cannot help though, as he takes her hand and guides her into the boat, to choke back some painful words.
the welshman’s mouth opens, ready to tell her how much he’s missed her and how he was so afraid she was lost. he doesn’t say it outloud but he hopes she can read his eyes. he merely whispers, “ thank god, “ as she sits beside a small boy. he wraps a blanket around the two of them.
“ can you tell me jack and the beanstalk ?? “ the boy asks, in a small voice.
henry is the last to join the boat. being the last, the chief officer finds the collapsible tilting under his feet. it is difficult to keep balance now with no weight to counter it. he slips and lands in the water. the ice cold shock hits his bones first and he feels every muscle in his body tighten. he gasps and water fills his lungs. he hears shouting and screaming as he fights the water. images flash in his head. this is what james felt like only an hour ago. he sees the young officer’s pale blue eyes shocked open but glazed over, his arms floating beside him like a rag doll, helplessly floating through the current as the atlantic claims his body as her own. he sees fish gauging at james’ skin, picking his flesh off his bones. he tries to scream, reaching toward the mirage but it’s not working !! why can’t he grab him ?!
hands grasp henry’s jacket and he is lifted into the lifeboat by several men. he isn’t sure who is compressing his chest - he is barely awake. he sees black spots in his vision. the world is fading in and out. past the ringing in his ears, he hears people’s yells. he can’t make out words until suddenly he feels the contents of his lungs rising through his throat and gushing from his mouth. he finally coughs out the sea water and gasps for air. he is dropped to the floor.
“ get me a blanket for the chief !! “ harold lowe orders, and it is immediately obeyed. he is wrapped up tight in an instant.
finally, he comes to reality and he finds his eyes locked onto the stars. he is sprawled on the bottom of the lifeboat but his thoughts turn to james. it’s his fault he’s dead. “ forgive me, mister moody. “
𝚃𝙾𝚄𝙲𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙾𝙻𝙳 𝙻𝙾𝚆𝙴’𝚂 𝙷𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝚆𝙰𝚂 𝚂𝙾𝙼𝙴𝚃𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝚂𝙷𝙴 𝚃𝙷𝙾𝚄𝙶𝙷𝚃 𝚂𝙷𝙴’𝙳 𝙽𝙴𝚅𝙴𝚁 𝙳𝙾 𝙰𝙶𝙰𝙸𝙽, she searches his face, her own facial expressions telling him that she was glad that he was safe. she wants to tell him that she’s sorry for being so cruel & selfish herself, and it pains her that that argument could have been their last forever. his hand is warm but her touch is brief as she sits on the lifeboat, clutching to roger. she looks at harold wordlessly as he wraps the blanket around the two of them. ‘ i am so sorry for earlier. i am so grateful you don't hate me. ‘ she wants to say, but again her mother’s voice echos, ‘ not right now !! ’ she understands her meaning. she offers a warm smile to harold lowe as she is starting to get warmed up. her eyes look down at the little boy. she smiles. she hopes that she’s doing a good job for another man’s child. it shown to her how young she still was, but nevertheless she started to tell the story, her attention to the child.
she was starting to tell him the story until she heard someone dropping into the water, her head whips around and she is starting to panic when she does not see henry. “ where did he go hermy ??” roger asks, panic clear in his voice. she holds him close, she’s afraid of standing up and for henry not to come up, but she can’t help but starting to cry in panic, “ henry !! “ she stands up, but a kind woman ushers her to sit down that it will be alright but she can’t be certain, she’s starting to panic, she feels her blood rushing to her ears and she’s trembling again.
she can’t lose anyone else, she cannot bear the thoughts of it. she cannot settle until she sees people dragging him out of the water. she feels someone tugging her dress and she feels awful for not comforting roger. ‘ what kind of mother would i even be ?? ‘ she thinks, she holds him close, “ it’s alright, it’s alright, we have got him. “ she whispers, but she’s still crying. she cannot imagine what is down in that sea, with poor james in that frozen cold water. she starts to cry harder as she sees so vividly in her mind that cheeky smile, that laugh and that grin. the guilt of her not saying anything to james earlier and before they got lowered in the boat. her only hope is that he realised how much he meant to her and she did truly love him, but it hurts not being able to say.
it is not henry’s fault. she doesn’t want to think that she would ever blame him, but she knows that the older man was struggling, and she can’t imagine how he is feeling. she’s angry with him if he slipped on purpose, he was needed and wanted. by her & his children. little roger would never forget him either for saving his life. she sees the vulnerable man on the ground of the lifeboat, she’s shaking her head, “ it’s not your fault. “ she manages to speak, her voice trembling, “ he would never want you to think that, henry, i told you this earlier, don’t you remember ? ” she asks desperately with more tears slipping down her face, “ it is so clear he admired you and respected you, he wanted to help. it wasn’t your fault. ”
the little boy is hiding in the blanket in her arms, he peeks, afraid what he is going to see. “ is he going to be okay ??” he asks.
“ of course.” she whispers, “ you saved this little boy, henry, you came to find me after everything i’ve done.” she looks up at harold now, her face soaked with tears, her eyes are begging for him to forgive her, to forgive the hurt she’s caused, she wants him to pull her close. “ i didn’t deserve it. ”
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𝚑𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚢 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚍𝚎
—– “𝙸 𝙰𝙼 𝚂𝙾𝙼𝙴𝚆𝙷𝙰𝚃 𝙸𝙽 𝙰𝙶𝚁𝙴𝙴𝙼𝙴𝙽𝚃 𝙸𝙽 𝚃𝙷𝙰𝚃 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙱𝙾𝙰𝚃 𝚆𝙸𝙻𝙻 𝙱𝙴 𝚂𝚆𝙰𝚁𝙼𝙴𝙳. ” he hates to admit this. they are floating far out now. “ some of us would have to get off and push the boat back toward the ship - well . . . “ there is no ship anymore. “ we cannot afford to use up such precious energy and besides, many more will die if we are swarmed. “
he should be in the water with the rest of those people. he should have stayed on the ship until the very end, but alas . . . he is here, surviving with the others, watching the suffering from afar.
“ we must stay put. other lifeboats will go back to collect people, just you wait. “
and so they did. a few people managed to swim to the boat, a third class irishman, a stewardess, and a baker. they clamber aboard and the group huddle for warmth and listen as the screaming slowly begins to quiet. the irishman gently sings a haunting ballad to distract from the horrors of the night and his tenor voice lulls roger asleep in henry’s arms.
soon, as the air becomes deadly silent, they hear a voice echo. a light can be seen by the flood of bodies before them.
“ is anyone alive out there ?? “ the accent is distinctly welsh that can only belong to fifth officer harold lowe. “ can anyone hear me ?? “
henry pulls out his whistle and begins blowing as hard as he can. the sudden noise statles roger away, and he jumps into hermione’s open arms. officer lowe can be heard giving directions as the flash light points towards the overturned collapsible.
“ i will see my children again . . . “
𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚂𝙸𝙻𝙴𝙽𝙲𝙴 𝚆𝙰𝚂 𝙼𝙾𝚁𝙴 𝚃𝙴𝚁𝚁𝙸𝙵𝚈𝙸𝙽𝙶, 𝙸𝙵 𝙰𝙽𝚈𝚃𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙶, 𝙿𝙴𝙾𝙿𝙻𝙴 𝚆𝙴𝚁𝙴 𝙳𝙴𝙰𝙳 𝙰𝚁𝙾𝚄𝙽𝙳 𝚃𝙷𝙴𝙼. she had wanted to retort earlier and insist on helping those poor souls, but he was right. they could be swamped and all of them could have died. every life counted at this point and it was every man for themselves. she is not shaking as much, she looks at henry silently, without saying a word. in her mind, she’s processing the grief and the sorrow that she’s feeling for her mother & james, it is quite overwhelming but she doesn’t want to cause a scene like she had done earlier. she can see that woman looking at her now, but she avoids eye contact, feeling embarrassed with herself. at the sounds of someone swimming, she looked around and she was relieved when there had been a few that managed to swim to their boat. she had nothing to offer them & she felt guilty.
she wanted to take care of them, she had nothing warm to offer them. she was in her room earlier, she could have grabbed a coat or two, but you do not think of these things at the time. she silently watches the young boy in henry’s arms that was fast asleep & she thinks of him being a father to their baby, possibly one day. it does warm her heart, she was thanking her blessings that she managed not to drown or remained stuck in her room corridor. she swallows, listening to the irish man. she wants to tell him to stop, it's not helping but she says nothing. instead she gripped her dress out of anxiety, she doesn’t want to look in the ocean to look at the dead bodies. she truly can’t bear it. . . then came utter silence. the only thing she can hear now is her own heartbeat and the urgent breathing.
her mind is about to ponder at something else until she hears that familiar welsh accent, her heart leaps but she is feeling extremely shy. she swallows at the prospect of seeing him shortly as harry blows his whistle, she jumps slightly when roger is now in her arms. he’s looking at her wide eyed, “ hermy, does that mean someone’s coming? ”
“ yes, sweetpea, it does, and it means i can tuck you up somewhere with plenty of blankets. i can read you some stories if you like, ” she ashamedly looks down, she doesn’t want another confrontation with harry, although, she doubts anyhow that it will happen there and now. his words from earlier circled her head, but she pulls roger close but looks up at henry with a smile.
“ i knew you would see them again, henry. ” she reaches over to grab his hand, squeezing it tightly. “ i was going to make sure of it that you would. they will be relieved to see you. ” she swallows before she looks back at the young roger who was staring up at her.
“ now, young man, tell me what story you would like to hear and i’ll try to do the voices, “ she manages a chuckle, kissing his head.
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𝚑𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚢 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚍𝚎:
—– 𝙷𝙴 𝚁𝙴𝙶𝚁𝙴𝚃𝚂 𝚃𝙴𝙻𝙻𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙷𝙴𝚁, 𝙰𝚂 𝙷𝙴 𝚆𝙰𝚃𝙲𝙷𝙴𝚂 𝙷𝙴𝚁 𝚂𝚃𝙸𝚁 𝙸𝙽𝚃𝙾 𝙸𝙽𝚂𝙰𝙽𝙸𝚃𝚈. he should never have told her. he should have waited until help came and they were out of danger. or at the very least, he should have lied to her. maybe, he could have told her that he found some debris and he was still alive somewhere in the water. he cannot turn back now. she knows. he removes roger from his shirt and the woman beside him takes the boy into her arms. he cries for henry, the officer ignores him as he reaches for hermione.
“ hermione, please !! “ he begs her, still trying to hold back his sorrow. “ i saw him go under. he was being torn apart. he wouldn’t want you to do this !! “
he grabs her ankle and pulls it from underneath her. she slips, falling hard on the boat. it rocks hard, causing some panic in the other survivors but all manage to hang on tight as the rocking subsides. he pulls her into his arms, holding her tight.
“ you are staying right here, “ he urges into her ear. “ you cannot go after him. he is halfway to the seabed by now. i need you here with me. i will not lose another person tonight. not someone who i love and cherish so deeply. “
the boat becomes quiet and they listen to the scene playing out. loud explosions can be heard and titanic’s lights finally turn off. the only lights they can see are the stars above. the screams are horrifying. roger manages to free himself from the woman’s arms and squeezes between henry and hermione, clutching at both of their clothes. he is screaming himself, bawling.
“ i want my papa !! i want him !! “
henry grips onto both of his new found treasures. he knows that the next few days, if they survive, will be difficult. he wonders which other officers will survive and if not, where are they on that ship ?? or, are they already in the water with the growing number of souls flailing about in the water ?? only time will tell.
the stern of titanic is high in the air and he has never seen anything like it. the funnels break and fall into the water like dominos, crushing those who were unfortunate enough to be in their path. he tries to shield both roger and hermione’s eyes but he cannot help but watch helplessly himself.
everybody on the collapsible begins to cry, even the men and even, henry as they watch the horror. titanic splits in two, sending the stern hurtling toward the water. if being crushed by titanic funnels was bad, he can’t imagine the souls who are crushed by the whole end of rms titanic. he wants to shut his eyes and wake up safe in his bed. when he opens his eyes, titanic’s stern is bobbing into the water like an apple in water. screams pierce the air like nails on a chalkboard as helpless people tumble into the suction. it sinks, painfully slow.
“ dear mother of god . . . “ henry cannot help but gasp.
titanic is gone.
𝚂𝙷𝙴 𝙽𝙴𝙴𝙳𝙴𝙳 𝚂𝙾𝙼𝙴𝚃𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝚃𝙾 𝙱𝚁𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙷𝙴𝚁 𝙱𝙰𝙲𝙺 𝚃𝙾 𝙴𝙰𝚁𝚃𝙷, as soon as henry had grabbed her ankle and pulled it hard, that she fell on the boat, she blinked but she’s ashamed with herself that she was going to risk her life again to find someone that’s gone ( and that she loved so dearly. ) flashes of them together keeps repeating in her mind. she cries into his chest when he tells her that james is gone. she does not want to believe it. but it’s the truth, something that she will have to come to terms with. she cannot even speak, she has no words. “ it isn’t your fault. ” she says in between sobs, she’s pulling herself away to look at him, “ it’s no one’s fault. don’t blame yourself, henry. he wouldn’t have wanted that to hang over your head. ” she knows that he will have a mind of his own, and a different view, but in such a little time, she feels within her soul she knows him. she wants to press a kiss onto his cheek, but she will save that for later.
her eyes glisten over as roger wants his papa. god, how she wishes she had her mama. as if by instinct, her hands comfortingly strokes the boy’s hair. she tries her hardest to block out the screams and the cries. she’s shaking at the thoughts of those poor souls, she is trying her best to shield his eyes, she’s trying not to look either, but she looks horrified at the scene. that beautiful ship, she knew it had the potential to be the most grand ship in the entire world.
she takes hold of henry’s hand and she kisses it, squeezing her eyes shut as the screams get louder the ones that remained on the ship & the ones in the sea had suddenly gone quiet. she swallows hard, she tries to shield roger’s ears. god, that little boy . . . he would be haunted with their screams and the picture of it all, like the rest of them that would have to witness this. she couldn’t imagine being in that frozen water, she was still shaking. still holding henry’s hand, she squeezes his hand as she watches the ocean claim the titanic for herself. she looks up at the stars, her eyes glaze with tears, ‘ destination to the stars ! ‘ she remembers. she takes a deep breath before holding roger close, trying to distract the little one, “ look, “points up to the sky, “ but he isn’t listening to her, she bites her lip. she has an idea to give little roger another story, but she thinks she may wait until help arrives for them all. he’s still crying and her heart is aching. she looks around the boat helplessly. the woman that hermione yelled at looked at her nervously, in case she went insane again. it was heart wrenching to
“ are we sure we cannot have an extra person or two on this boat ?? surely they are strong enough. ” her consciousness is haunting her, “i am sure there will be enough room. “ she looks at henry, “ can we even look ?? “ she was afraid of him leaving the boat, she did not want him to go. he saved her and that little boy in their arms. she knows when to tell him she loves him, but not now. she wants it to be the both of them again, like earlier. she couldn’t imagine her life without henry. she pulls her knees closer together, she’s rubbing her legs to warm them up.
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𝚑𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚢 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚍𝚎
—– 𝙷𝙴 𝙻𝙴𝚃 𝙹𝙰𝙼𝙴𝚂 𝙳𝙸𝙴. 𝙷𝙴 𝙺𝙸𝙻𝙻𝙴𝙳 𝚃𝙷𝙰𝚃 𝙱𝙾𝚈. that is what his brain is repeating. pollie’s voice is gone now. that thought repeats over and over, gradually getting louder and louder. he and a few others begin to push the boat away from titanic. eventually the boat will go fully under and the suction will be at its strongest. they kick for a few minutes until they are quite far out. henry pulls himself up next to hermione, then leans to pull up the men and women who helped him kick. there isn’t much room on the lifeboat for any more. any more, and the boat will probably go under.
henry unbuttons his coat and takes roger into his arms. he holds the boy against his chest before wrapping his open coat around him. he hopes this will shield the boy from what will inevitably come. titanic’s stern is beginning to lift from the water, and he sees the helpless souls aboard begin to climb for their lives, hoping to prolong their time in the air for just a few more minutes. the ship will eventually fail. who knows if it will split or if it will just go down but hundreds of people are about to flail about in the ocean. that is no sight for a little boy.
“ there is a ship coming to pick us up and we will all live. we will find your papa, roger. “
“ what if he is already gone ?? “ the boy asks, sleepily into his chest. the question aches his heart.
“ let’s not think about that now. close your eyes and this will all be over soon. “
the boy nuzzles further into the chief officer, while the fireman speaks up. he is liverpudlian.
“ what if we get ambushed - “
“ we are not at war !! “ a woman snaps at him. “ those are helpless people !! “
“ s’not what i meant ma’am. we can’t fit anymore people. if people fight their way on, we’ll surely die . . . “
the two continue to bicker between themselves and henry turns to hermione. “ i cannot keep this from you. i must tell you what i saw. “
he isn’t sure how to say this because seeing james go down like a rag doll was certainly bizarre in the least good way possible. guilt is eating away at him. he is trying to keep composure, especially in front of other passengers. especially with a child in his arms. his voice is hushed.
“ i am so sorry, hermione. he slipped from my grasp. “ his voice wavers as he holds back the flood of emotions like a dam. it’s cracking. “ the suction was too strong. he was just a boy . . . just a boy . . . h-he’s dead. “
he speaks up then. “ if more people come to the boat, i will go in the water. i am the largest here. i am the ship’s chief officer. i- “
he arms tighten around roger. he wishes to see his children one last time.
“ i will go in the water. “
𝙳𝙴𝚂𝙿𝙸𝚃𝙴 𝚆𝙷𝙰𝚃 𝙸𝚂 𝙶𝙾𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙾𝙽, 𝚂𝙷𝙴 𝙶𝚁𝙸𝙿𝚂 𝙷𝙴𝙽𝚁𝚈'𝚂 𝙷𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝚃𝙸𝙶𝙷𝚃, she doesn’t want to let go. she is shaking with the coldness, she can’t bear to look at the sight. it was awful hearing those scared screams, she pulled her knees closer to her chest. she felt terrible for leaving the ship in the first place. there were far more important people that needed saving, she can’t help think of the little children like roger or her own child. tears slip down her face as she squeezes his hand, she’s breathing her hot breath onto her hands, trying to get them warmed. “ i am so grateful for you,” her voice trembled. “ truly, the way i have behaved i am calling you a fool, henry, but we would have come across little roger, i was not strong enough to burst through that door. ” she’s crying now, she even hates herself for crying now. there’s so many people on that ship and she’s crying ???
she wipes her eyes, she looks at those helpless people, she can’t tear her eyes away from it, but her mind is screaming for her to stop looking. so many things are going through her head, she even loses track of the bickering on the lifeboat. but her attention is torn away, she’s looking at henry now. he looks scared, she had seen that look on his face at midday. it was the same look & her stomach lurched, she had not a good feeling about this at all, her mind going on james, but she was searching for him with her eyes. her heart sank when he told her that he’s gone.
no, he couldn’t be !!!
he was merely here ten minutes ago, giving her that cheeky smile of his. when earlier that afternoon, he looked so hurt and broken. she caused that. there’s a wild delief look on her face as she begins to shake her head, “ no, he couldn’t be. i saw him ten minutes ago, henry. are you sure he isn’t around here somewhere ? “ shock is vibrating through her body, “ he has so many dreams, henry, he possibly can’t be. ” there’s a rise in panic, and moments later, she can’t breathe in her dress. why is it so cold ?? “ i’ll wake up in a few moments. “ she was trying to calm her mind now, she was trying to breathe. but it is as if her body gave out of the shock, she muffles her cries into her hand, shaking her head.
“ henry, he can’t be. he really can’t be. he gave me that smile, ” she needs to be quiet, but she is struggling. no, this was not fair. she lost her mother four days ago and she didn't even know of it. she couldn’t even go to the funeral, to say her goodbyes & henry’s assuming that james is dead ?? he wouldn’t be able to have a proper goodbye, a place where she could come to leave down flowers. then it dawns on her. she didn’t even know he liked flowers. she’s staring at him, “ don’t be crying, he - he will come up, let’s see. “ she stands up, she’s determined. no. “ look, i’ll even go in, you’re sitting here henry wilde, you saved me and that little boy.” she probably sounds crazy right now and she sense that everyone is staring at her.
“ where did you last see him? i’ll jump in and i’ll see, “ she is standing up.
“ are you barking mad ?? sit down !! “ the woman barks at her.
something in her snaps.
she’s had enough. no one else was dying. “ HE’S NOT DEAD. “ somehow, she manages to yell in the woman’s face, she had no strength a minute ago, but she refuses to listen that he’s dead. she’s shaking and she cannot believe what she did, her ankle is starting to bother her greatly, but she turns around on the boat.
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