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Theo’s not so keen on his new town right away. It’s way too bright and sunny, and why should he have to introduce himself at a town hall?! This is barbaric!
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Theo spends a peaceful moment in the Washington rainforest. He looks out at the stream, watching a small toad sun himself. The toad turns to stare back. In the distance Theo hears his mom calling her goodbyes, but does not break eye contact with the toad. He slowly reaches out to it, and after a moment the toad climbs onto his finger and makes a contented croak.
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Now for the Henderson/Richards Family. That’s right, Patrick has even more terrible cousins! Well, that’s not really fair. He has one more terrible cousin and a couple of okay ones.
The old guy is Trent, and he is yet another mean only person Theo avoids. He’s teaching “Hot” Kyle to be the new butcher to replace him, and he certainly comes across as the kind of guy that wouldn’t mind killing animals. Anyway. We already met Doug, so let’s move on to Bella and Terry. Bella is the town priest, and pretty much the only one running the church. Terry helps her on weekends when he’s off work from the bank. They have four kids, Lindsey, Jenny, Stan, and Collin, and the also take care of Joshy who’s dad Jeremy went to Jail. Disgrace to the name Jeremy if you ask Theo. Jeremy the toad isn’t particularly bothered though. Lindsey isn’t around much, she’s a local ranger so she’s gone half the year. She’s good friends with her uncle Leo the baker, who actually seems to be a really nice guy. He makes really tasty sweetbreads. Jenny is pretty stand-offish as far as Theo can tell, which he doesn’t mind. She actually seems pretty cool though. She does appliance repair and metal work with this old guy Owen, and the one thing she’ll actually talk about for awhile is metal-working. She knows a whole lot about molecular structure and tempering, so it’s actually fun to listen. She gets embarrassed and mad after talking for awhile for some reason though. Her brother Stan is… strange. He’s very loud and nasally, and will also talk for quite a long time but about things that Theo has far less interest in. Theo is amazed Bella hasn’t accused Stan of speaking in tongues when talking about coding. It all sounds like nonsense. Collin is, as before mentioned, terrible. He is yet another kid in class who talks SO MUCH, but he’s worse because he’s always trying to make a joke. The thing is, he’s not funny! Sometimes people will laugh and it makes no sense!!! Arghh!!!!
Joshy…. Theo feels bad for Joshy. He seems to constantly be trying to tag along with Collin, but only the older kids ever really try to take care of him. Kelly will be nice to him, but nothing seems to really help. He cries a lot. He gets sick often. He’s really just a sad kid.
Theo’s notes:
Mixed bag. Just sit and listen, they’ll either say something interesting or be boring enough to tune out.
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Time for a bigger family tree, this is the Brown/Davis/Richards Family. Theo likes Nicholas okay, he always has something quippy to say, but Tracy is a mean woman. Every time she sees Theo she just sneers. They were the founders of the grocery store in town, the Clearwater Market. Now it hosts the goods from the butcher, baker, and craft shop. When Nicholas and Tracy retired they left it to their daughters Rita and Bee who still run it today. Norris is the Potter and Craftsman in town, and runs a booth in the store. He and Rita are so happy it’s unsettling. Rita goes jogging everyday. Jogging. Anyway, Kyle is kind of a weird kid as far as Theo can tell, but he’s really pretty nice. Sammy loves him. She started wearing stripes because she thought his shirt was so cool. It seems somewhat unrequited though, Kyle is really quite and only ever seems to talk to Julie and his cousin Kyle. Yes they’re both named Kyle. The other kids in class refer to Kyle Davis as “Weird Kyle” and Kyle Richards as “Hot Kyle.” Sammy seems to refer to them in the reverse. It’s all a bit much for Theo, so he just sort of avoids referring to either one. Anyway, Kyle Davis’s little sister Kelly seems to be the perfect counterpart to Sammy, she also never stops talking. She however, only ever talks about soccer. She’s obsessed with it. She’s super competitive with Brenton about it. Theo doesn’t really get the point when you don’t really have enough people to play, but that’s their business.
On the other side of the family tree you have the Richards. Bee seems okay enough, but Doug’s a real nightmare. He’s loud and mean, and as far as Theo can tell he doesn’t really do much of anything. It makes sense why his sons are the worst. The one everyone calls Hot Kyle is generally kind of gross to Theo. He gets in trouble for smoking a lot, and seems to be the one spraying graffiti all over town. He’s generally pretty easy to avoid though, the real problem is Patrick. Theo can’t get far enough away from Patrick. He’s a bully. He’s just like his dad and even his grandma, only ever sneering at Theo and generally being mean. It doesn’t take much for him to start yelling either. He’s just the worst >:(
Theo’s notes:
THIS FAMILY IS BEST AVOIDED!!! Even the ones that seem nice have something weird going on under the surface!
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Everyone, meet the Cho family! Mayor Elaine moved to this town in her early twenties soon after Angela was born with her husband Don. Hearston was already starting to fall into disrepair as the mines were getting stripped down. She couldn’t afford at the time to live anywhere more flashy, so she set to work making her new home the best it could be. She set protections in place that prevented the mines from being stripped quite so quickly and ensured that the money they produced would be put to use bettering the town so that it could outlast the mines themselves. She ensured the mines wouldn’t contaminate the town’s water and got the profits to start funding local business. She wasn’t exactly popular with the miners for it, a lot of them were really angry about their pay cuts and moved on to greener pastures. The town survived though. The local businesses are able to take care of everyone in town, though it’s not the most exciting place to live. To be honest, the town could use a new source of income.
Oh my gosh, let’s stop talking about the town though, let’s talk about the Chos! Elaine’s daughter Angela runs the Cho Garden Center and has two wonderful children, Julie and Brenton. Their aunt Tiffany runs Radical Records where Julie spends a lot time hanging out with her friend Kyle. Tiffany is teaching Julie to play guitar, and Julie is determined to join a band one day. Brenton on the other hand is determined to become a world soccer star. He’s the best player in town, and there really is some competition! It would be great if the town could get enough players to have a real team to compete. Theo wishes he were a better option, but he’s more of a basketball player.
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Everybody meet Jeremy!
Jeremy is a Great Basin Spadefoot Toad and also Theo’s best friend. He moved to Washington with Theo and can generally be found somewhere on his person. Does his skin get dry in Arizona? Absolutely! Theo keeps a mister bottle on hand in his backpack to keep Jeremy comfortable. He also carries around a Tupperware full of flies and grasshoppers for Jeremy to eat. Theo’s teacher Ms.Hart is not terribly pleased about that one. They uh… the Tupperware might’ve broken open in class once or twice. Thankfully Jeremy was able to help clean up! Unfortunately Ms.Hart didn’t much like that solution either. Anyway… Jeremy is really smart! He can speak and everything! His favorite music is Vivaldi and his favorite flower is violets. He’s also got these really pretty eyes that you can just get lost in, they almost shimmer gold in the sunlight…………………………………………………………………H̸̜͆a̸͎͛ṙ̶̳k̶̖̃,̸͔̋ ̴̟̓l̷̲̀i̴͇̚s̵͍͐t̶̼͆e̵̜̔n̷̯̈́ ̴͎̎ȟ̸͔e̶͍͘r̵̟̓e̷̺͛ ̵̪̈́p̵̠̊e̴̜͛d̸̦̽e̷̡͘s̷̘̈́t̷͕̓r̴̥̿ḯ̵̭a̷̪̾n̷͔̋.̶̻͋ ̷͖̌I̶̗̅ ̷͈͋h̶̬̉ä̷̪v̷̡̉é̸͍ ̴̯̃s̷̥͊ţ̸͑o̷̥͋ĺ̵̨ḙ̶̅ņ̶͝ ̷̩̚ṱ̴̇h̷̻̆e̸̘̽ ̷̰͑ē̶̟y̷̞͂ě̴̟s̸̫̈́ ̷̢͐ò̴̬f̷͔̂ ̷̗́Q̵̝̉ư̷͔e̸̹͐ē̷̥n̷̲̚ ̷̟͋T̷͙̎ĩ̶̱ẗ̶̳a̵̼͐n̶̞̂î̵̢a̶̫̽ ̶̮̈́a̴̖͂ň̶̘d̴̥̊ ̵͚̌s̶̫͑h̶̹̅e̸̲͑ ̶̥̾h̶̨̕ȃ̴̰s̷̙̋ ̵̙̔f̷͎̿o̶̦̚r̴̦̆ě̵͚ṿ̴̀ë̵̡́ṛ̶̾ ̸̨͒c̸̝͂u̵̡͐ŗ̸́s̴̫̈́e̵̊ͅd̵͚͐ ̶̩̐m̶̞͘e̷͕͑ ̴̹̚u̷͋ͅn̶̡̐t̵̮̄ì̴͎ḻ̷͘ ̵̪̂ẗ̷̳́h̴͈̒e̷̪͋ ̷͇͋d̴̯͝a̶̘͐ý̵̬ ̷̰̋o̶͓͠f̵̙̋ ̶̖̏t̶̮̕h̸͓͑e̸̹̍ǐ̶̟r̴͋ͅ ̸̨̕r̷̹̓ę̶̊t̵͓̉ũ̴̪r̸͖̓ň̷͎.̶̺̊ ̶͂ͅÌ̶̩ ̵̢̔c̶̘̆a̷̜̔n̷̤͘n̵̝̾ó̸̭ẗ̶̼́ ̷̛͍r̵̝̔ȩ̶̅ẗ̸̨́u̴̱̓ṛ̸̕ń̶̪ ̵̪̿t̷͇̒h̴̝̚e̴̗͋m̸̥͑ ̶̻́h̶̉͜o̴͎͊w̵̱̿e̸̠̿v̷̭̌è̵͍r̶̭̚,̸̖̈́ ̵̩̓t̸͕͆h̸̘̓i̵͖͠s̶̖͐ ̷̼̓c̵̺̽ḣ̷̜i̶̦͋l̸͔̂d̵̦̒ ̷̣̈́h̸͕͗ā̴̟s̸̩̏ ̴̯̄r̸̤̽e̶͔͐m̷̼͌o̵͕̅v̶̲͘e̷̜̎ḋ̸̘ ̸̘̐ḿ̷̯e̸̮̍ ̸̲̅f̸͈͒r̸̟̒o̷͔͝m̴̯͂ ̷̱͝t̷̮́ḥ̴̔ė̷̟ ̴͎͂ẁ̶͓o̶̻̐o̵̳͂d̴̳͗s̸͚͐ ̷̤͌w̸̯̚h̷͐ͅe̵̮͆r̵̰͐e̵͙͘ ̴̘́I̶̗͋ ̷͖̇m̸̱̿ỉ̷͇g̵͕͂h̴̼̓t̶̥̒ ̸͖͆s̴̱̽ė̵̹ë̴̩k̵͓̓ ̷̼̀h̷̫́e̵̻͂ř̶͈.̵̹͋ ̸̘̂ I̶̠̖̮̙̠̖͌́̎̅ ̴̪̆́̍͋w̴̖̠̩̒̉͘ỉ̵̡̞̖̰̺̘͂́͘͠s̷͎̑̒͒̃͌h̶̠̜͆̿̀́̑͝ ̸̧̢̬̬̬̟́̓͝t̴̼̝̑õ̶̢̡ ̶̟̠͔̬̠̿̈̇͆̏̏r̷̙̄ë̸͍̣̰́̑́̽͒̚ͅt̸̰͍̞̤̐ü̶͍̫̰͖̞̦͑̍̊̾̔ṛ̴́̀͗n̴̡̬̟̮̪͝ ̴̱̦͇̈͊̏̓ạ̷̠͎̖͊͊n̸̝̲̋d̵̪̪͔̳̣͑̿͗̈̚͘ ̷͇̖̰̍̂̉̎̀g̴̜̭̅̔̐̈́̕r̷̢͍̦̣̈́͒̈́̕͠o̷͉͖̪͝ͅv̵̺̻̩̖̤̂e̶̳̮̜͂͑̆̓̑̇l̴̙͊̒́̃̒̚ ̷̳͎̺̃͝͝͝ą̴̧̹̦͓̤́̍t̴̬͋́̈́̍̕ ̴̬͚̼͔͉̎̿̒h̸̻̻̞̑͝e̴̞̺̣̣̓͊͒̿ř̵̬͔̠ ̸̠͊̇̏́͑f̵̧̟̝̦͓͂̇̑ẻ̷̡̨̗̼̥͋̚̕̕͝e̵̖̹̭̞̒̃̃̈̆t̵͚̽̃͜͝,̸̨̭̮͇͕̅̾ ̵̛̣̭̥̖́̅̕I̴̞͖͉͝ ̷͍̲̟͍̺͇͋̿͆̃ḷ̸̨͔̮̳͌̽̄̃i̵̤̥͆͐v̷͎̭̙̇́͊͗̇͗ȇ̷̡̢̜̠̬̐̂̑̀̕͜ ̵̧͎̬̞̬̌͝ͅĭ̶̧̝̹͇͈̪͂͋n̴̰̺͚̍̓ ̶͙̼̹̖̦̫́̉̏c̵̢̍̃̓ö̴̬̘̳́ͅņ̵͖̙̺̳͎̊̍̉̽s̸̢̻̲̱͍̿̓ẗ̷̩́̄̓͗͝ą̷̘̲͕̩͓̓n̴̝̯̩̈́̍̏͝t̵̲̗͝ ̷̞̖̦͓̙͐̀a̸͕̬̟̟̹̣͌̆̑g̷̢̼͉̺͛̀͒o̶̤͍̱̔̎͛ͅn̴̗̒̑͛̔̂ÿ̸̧̝͈̫́͌̔́́ ̵̢̟̘̫̬̍͑̈ä̷̱͙̃͐ş̸̜̩̙̎̎́̐ ̶̯̩̓͘͘t̸̡̛͖̑͆̽̎ḧ̵̞̬̬́ḛ̶̝̭̞͚̓́͂͊̀͜ ̴̲̱͙̙̄͘ć̸̢͇̹͍͚̈́̐̿̋ȏ̸͚̏̂n̶͚̲̣̤̬͑̌͑̌̔s̶̨̯̝͙̓͋e̴̟̺͋q̸͕̪͓̹͋̀̂̂͝͝u̸̱̮̍͋̃̚e̷̖̗͂n̵̞͖̠̅c̵̥̦̩͎̭̣̃̃̂̇̕e̸̬̳̥̪̎̈́ ̵̬̭̼͓̥̌ơ̷̰͘f̷̧͕̦͋͑̿̑̓͠ ̷̬̻̘̓̋̄̔̈́m̷͖͇̔̓͋̉͐̉y̸͈̽̔̂͛ ̵̠̾̌̾͂͘͠ȃ̴̡̡͍̹͙̓͛̒̋̑c̴̪̎̅̕t̸͇̩̽͂͘͠i̴̭̬̗̭͗o̵͍̫͒̑͊n̶͉͎̺̋̕s̴̙̟̳̙͉̙̀͋̔̇.̴̱͓̼̫͘ͅ ̶̟̯̮͖̰͐́̂ͅM̵̧̩̥̭̓̏̾͊y̴̨͖͖͌̿ ̷̡̻͓̣̠̓̈́̉͜p̵̳̹̠͈̄͜e̷̱̥̔̓̆͗̀̕n̴͎̎̿̒̇̈̎ĭ̷̼̔̆́̈́s̸̪̎,̷̟͖̻̄͜ ̶̡̠̥̞̯̀͒͜t̴̙͖̬̀͋͆͌̕h̸̢̯̜͐͋̑̒͜i̸̛̲̠̯͎͓͈͗͐̽́̈́s̴̮̞̫̠͔̈̐ ̵̖̀̓w̸̢̰͎͎͈̰̆̾̓̔r̸̤̒͛̚͠e̷̙̯͔̊̍́ͅṭ̴̡͇͔̩͎͌̔̃̌̒͝c̷̙̻̠̲͍̔̎̅̀ḩ̸͎̜̺͛̋̀͊e̴̠͊́̒͝ͅd̴͎̅͛̋͐͒̈́ ̴̢̦͇̺̚w̶̥̖̹̫̩̋ô̶̹̳̣̩̞̻̂͠m̷̝̲̂á̸̦͇͚̺̏̂͛ǹ̶̟̏̓͛̑̚,̸̤͇̻͎͊́ ̵̤̟͇͍̯̄͋h̴̨̤͎̄̐́̄̈͝ȁ̷̻̰͇͊̓̏̒̂s̴̙̠̥̬̀͊͑͛ ̶̡̙̼̓̈́̄̆̅r̴̛͍̟͔͍̓͜͝ẹ̷̥̣̺̜͗̾̓̍̈̓p̷̨͙̦̜̋l̵̯͇͓͕͍̉̒͌a̷͙̥͋̑̃c̴̣̰̫̣̱̘̊̓ē̶͙̲̲̖͓͜d̴͍̆͂͐̓̈́ ̷̯̱̠̩̉͗̂̍̊̔w̴̘̯͙͚͚̜̋̕i̴̲̭̼̞̓̿̌͆̉͝ţ̵̭̤̹̆̒̾̿̐̈́h̷̦̆̓̿ ̸̝̤͉̹͠t̴̛͈̟͍̬́̈́̑͝͝h̸̖̫͎̑a̶̮̱͛́͐t̴̨̧͈̘̟͈͐̔̓͝ ̶̖̽ǫ̶̙͔̳̝͐̑̄͝ͅf̴̫͍̼̣͒̚ ̸̛͕͖̏̅͆̊͜ą̸̭̦͎͐ ̷̡̦̞͠d̸͍͇̗̜̦͙͊͗͒́u̶̞͖̇͒͌̄ċ̸̙͗͌̎̈́̉k̵͍̱͇͚̞̎̉͘ͅ.̶̡̗͛̊͌̔̕͝ Ḭ̶̛̆̃́̎̀̆͘t̶̨̝͈̖͊̿́͆ ̸̧͓̮̝̻͉̓̉̉̅̄̎͘͝l̷̗͍̹̿̓͠i̸̬̥͚̫̳͎͈͊̀v̷̛̻̼̖̠̺̙̻̝̅e̷͇̮͋̍̑̈́͋͗s̷̪͇̭̞̓̍ ̶̧̧̜͍̜̼̩̪̀͐̔͜w̷̭̳̬̥͑̓̑ḭ̷͚̩͙̲͎̖̟̄̅͘ẗ̷̢̮̳͇̹̥́̃̃̃̾̉̋͠ͅh̷͎̪̙̝͎̞͚͛́̿̍͆ͅi̸͙̲̱͚̹̬͈̭̋̔͘n̷̙̜̒̉͂̇ ̷̳͖̺̣̜̖̍̄̌́̽̕͝͠m̶̬̦̥̖̰̥͕̙͊̐̂̒͝͝y̵̨̻̠̬̍͌̋̐̋ ̶̛̱͕̺̝̖̩͇̩̑̏̄͊͛̄͒ḇ̴̳̩̙͕̟͎͚̣̕o̷͙̱̦͈̪͈̯̙͍͊̔̚d̵̩̰̘̪͈̩͕̹̉̊̍͌̋̚͝ỵ̵͕̂̑͊̌͒̐,̸̳͎͖͖̤̗͒̓̏̒͊̂͜͠ ̴̯̩̮͛͛̄̆͠ḧ̴̨͉̻̲͇̕͜o̵̡̨̫̩͉̼̝̱͎͆̄̆͠r̵͖̣͇̬̥̮̫̯͕̊́̏͋r̵̭̺̹̗̺͎͙̒̈́̀̉̚i̷͉̤͎̯̬̟̥͎̎̾͜b̶̢͕̬͙̗͓̓͛͒̆̂͜l̴̨̫̫̮̫̣̟̇̅̃͠y̷̠͈̪̻̺͉̎̎̿̄͋͂͝͠͠ ̶͚̱̬̣̫̪͉͂̂̽͆͋̑́͝c̴̢͚̱̩͖̠̖͇̘̈́ů̷̻̞̭̖͖̫̌͛͆ͅŕ̵̘̟̻͙̐̅̂̓͘͜͝v̴̧̭̪̯͖̅̊́̚ȇ̴̥̗͖͍̲͖̪̼̂͌́d̴̘̟͖̣̭̝̩͗̑̒̓͝ ̶͈͉̺̳̄́̚a̸͇̯̱̥̜̜̮̠͗̎͒̍̔͆̽͝n̷̯̟̩̿̈́̌͌̈́͒̎̚d̶̨͎̝̅͊̚͝ ̴͕͍͙̏̃̓͐t̴̨̳̫̻͖̽w̸̲͂͗͐̿͂̔͘͠ḯ̷̫̜̻̭͓̘̳̿̒͘͠s̸̝̖͉̯̐̄͂͒t̸͍̝̻̘͍̤̻̑̊̒̇͘i̷̢̦͗̽̊͠n̴̢̧̘̥̥͓̫̮̠̐̍̕͘g̵̨̛͈̯͑͗̔͛͂͝ ̸͈̲̹̂̿̽̓͋͘m̴̹͖͎̹͇̰͈̑̔̔̀̋͠ŷ̴̯̺̤͐̋̐̒̈́͛̎͝ ̵̝̫̦͔̆̀͋͊͠i̴̫̭̰̯͝ͅñ̵̢̜͂͜͝t̴͔͓̆̇͋̈́́̇͘̚e̸͉͒̇͂͂̄̚̕s̵̜̳̜̹̎͋͒ẗ̴̛͓͖̮̄̂̎͒̚͘̕į̶̨̝̙̯̎n̸̳̪̦̭̜̣̝̋ě̶̺̿̏͆̅̈̽̌s̷̲̖̪̼̝̯̱̮̿̿̃̄̔͠ͅ ̴̡̢̧̯̞͔̻̘̒w̷
I̵ ̴d̸e̵m̶a̸n̶d̵ ̸t̷h̶a̶t̸ Y̶o̴u̶ ̴H̵E̸L̵P̵ ̷M̶E̶.̴
Wow, that was weird. Anyway, Jeremy is a pretty cool toad. Next Theo will introduce the Mayor and her family. See you soon!
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Theo gains a bit more family than he bargained for when he moves to Hearston. Aunt Jolene and Granpa Wilson he already knew of course, but it turns out Jolene’s girlfriend Barb has a whole family of her own for him to meet. Marg and Charlie are nice, even if they do smell like cherry flavoring and moth balls. They play canasta on the porch and hand him candies when he walks by. When Charlie is in a mood he’ll tell Theo about the war. What war? No idea, Theo is pretty sure Charlie was never in any war, the things he says sound completely made up. Tina is nice too, they’re pretty quiet. Theo isn’t so nervous to figure out how to talk to them, if they’re in the same room it’s okay for them to just not talk. Tina likes to draw, and they do a really good drawing of Jeremy. Sammy though. She’s so loud. Theo has no idea what to do when she’s around. If he tries to answer her questions she’ll just keep talking, but if he says nothing she’ll just keep talking. She does not know what an indoor voice is either. Jeremy always hides in Theo’s clothes when she’s around. Oh yeah! Theo will introduce you to Jeremy, just hold on a moment!
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The main family trees to be found in the town of Hearston. In order we have:
the Scott, Moore, and Tesser family
the Brown, Davis, and Richards family
the Cho family
the Hendersons (and some Richards)
the Downings
And the Miscellaneous people left are the Bonds, Pattersons, ???, Sunders, and Harts
Stick around and find out what Hearston is like with all these randos living in it
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