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raideneiseuthymia · 2 years
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Uncertainty
Summary: You finally confess your long harbored pining to Diluc 
Warning(s): Mutual pining, confession of feelings, one curse word and mentions of anxiety and a lil crying. 
Pairing(s): Diluc x GN!Reader
Word count: 1,746
A/N: Yall....tell me why this happened to me, literally this Thursday... i’m in a crisis and had to write about it because these words are swirling in my head fr. I cant escape my feeling for Diluc and the man this happened with also its kinda rushed fr like the situation happened to me irl 
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You didn't know what possessed you to return home, perhaps after all these months of running from your emotions, you were finally willing to face them. Or maybe you just missed the comfort and pain of one-sided pining. In all honestly, you didn't know why you wanted to return to Mondstadt, perhaps it was the wind calling you or the dream of the man you were utterly in love with calling you home. The thought had been stuck in your head for hours, to reunite with the man you loved and for some unknown reason, you couldn't deny the yearning.
The trip back home was peaceful yet filled with anxiety. You were going to have to face all you had left behind. You were going to have to confront the feelings you had tossed aside all those months ago. You had been running for so long that going back, returning home was scary. You were basically returning to the unknown. 
Your mind was constantly running, racing with thoughts. Anxiety over how Diluc would react to you being back. Would he hate you? Would he despise you for leaving all those months ago without notice? And if you returned…could you truly be around him again? Would those feelings for him be back? Would they be worse? 
It felt like the wind shifted when you stepped foot on the grounds of Dawn Winery. You felt like you were suffocating but at the same time, you yearned to continue, to find Diluc. You truly didn't realize how much you missed him, not until this very moment. 
“Y/n!” Adelinde yelled with enthusiasm as she opened the front doors to you. “I am so glad to see you, it's been so long.” 
“Yes, it has. Maybe too long,” You joked, walking through the doors as she moved out of your way for you to enter. Your eyes scanned the area, taking in the familiarity, nothing new had changed. Except perhaps the few new scattered papers on Dilucs desk. 
“I’m sorry,” She apologized, pulling you a chair out at the dining room table. “Master Diluc isn’t here right now but he should return soon, please feel free to wait here for him.” 
You nodded in response, smiling at the comfort you were feeling. It was so familiar here, it felt like home. 
The wait was comfortable, your anxiety was put to ease. That was until you heard the doors open and in stride Diluc, his eyes on the paper in his hands before they locked with yours. Shock and confusion were laced on his face. 
“Y/n?” His tone was soft but confused he wasn't expecting you to return to Mondstadt but least of all he had not expected his home to be the first place you returned to. But to say he wasn't glad would be a lie. 
“Diluc.” You got up from your spot and gave him a light hug making sure to be careful with your actions. 
He pulled away from you, a smile on his face as he asked you a few questions. “When did you return? Were you waiting for me?” 
“An hour ago and yes I was.”
You had left Mondstadt months ago, without a word but Diluc never reached out, for those months you wanted to reach out to him but your anxiety refused to allow that. You were running from your feelings so how could you do that if you kept in touch? That doesn't mean your decision didn't hurt. 
A joking tone fell from his mouth as he light-heartedly teased you falling back to how you two used to joke with each other all the time. It was like you hadn't left and the time you did meant nothing because of the comfortability between you two. “ Is it because you wanted to talk to me? Awe, did you miss me?”
There was a long silence as you thought, trying to form a response. You wanted to be truthful but at the same time, you didn't. You didn't want him to know but you did. You wanted to spill the unfiltered truth but you didn't want to scare him away. 
“Yes, I’ve always wanted to talk to you, I’ve always cared about you.” Your words were soft but uncertain, a blush burning your cheeks. You were scared he would read through your words and understand the deeper meaning. Your heart raced and your jaw clenched as you watched his eyebrow raised in question. You knew you had dug yourself a hole. 
“What does that mean? As a friend? Or as something more?” He light-heartedly joked. You could tell he was intrigued, but he sure was not expecting your response. He wasn't expecting the truth to fall from your lips. 
“Both, maybe.” You wanted to run away and hide, shelter yourself from the rejection you were expecting to be faced with but only more questions fell from his mouth. The atmosphere shifted almost instantly from playful to serious. 
“What do you mean both?” 
“I wouldn't know how to explain if I even tried,” You spoke trying your best to keep your cool.  Trying not to run from the room. Trying not to run from the man you loved because some part of you needed to know if maybe this could be; if you two could be something more than a friend and if not then maybe you could finally get over him. You were trying to keep the conversation light and joke to take away from the seriousness of your words but it was not working.
His voice was soft as he spoke, “You liked me?” 
There was a debate in your head. You could avoid the question but something told you not to. “I did.” 
He almost looked shocked at your confession. He hadn’t seen the signs that you liked him, he had ignored them thinking there was no way but now it became clear as day. 
“Why didn't you tell me sooner?” His eyes were soft as he looked at you, it was almost like he knew something you didn't. A sigh fell from his lips as he covered his face with his hands, you almost felt like he was mad at you. 
“Are you upset with me? Do you see me differently now? I hope I didn't ruin our friendship.” The anxiety was building up, your hands shook and tears pooled in your eyes, irrational thoughts running through your head like a tsunami. You felt like you had fucked everything up, if only you had reworded your words, you should have lied. This can't be happening, today of all days. You shakily wiped your eyes as you waited for his response but you only felt his gloved hand on your arm. 
“No, No I have no reason to be upset with you,” He mumbled trying his best to form the words to talk to you. “I just wish I knew sooner–” A sigh fell from his lips as he looked you over, so many thoughts in his head. His voice was nothing more but a whisper as he finished his sentence, “–I would have gone with you. No hesitation.” 
Perhaps it was the weight of his words or the way he said them that made it feel like your whole world was crashing in but at the same time, it felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders. Tears fell from your eyes as you listened to him speak. If only you had told him sooner but it was so bittersweet; it was cathartic. 
He would have chased after you. He would have chased you to the center of Teyvat. 
“I would have chosen you.” His hands cupped your face as he forced you to look at him, his gloved hand wiping the tears that kept spilling. “I would have asked you out…do you still have these feelings for me?” 
Yes. 
“I do think I still have them for you,” You spoke the partial truth. You couldn't let him know that you were in love with him. You couldn't even put into words how you truly felt about him. You had loved him from the beginning, he was always your first choice. He was always the one. In every universe, in every space in time, you would choose him. Over and over again, you would always return to him. 
A small smile graced his lips at your words, he too had those feelings about you. Even before now, before you left he had fallen for you but he was afraid. The way you dodged his questions, the way you always said you didn't want to date. He assumed you didn't harbor feelings for him, he assumed you did not want to date him but he still loved you. Even after all those months of your absence. 
He refrained from sending you letters, worried you'd take it as him keeping tabs on you. Worried that, perhaps, you would see through his mask and realize he was in love with you. That he cared about you. 
“Good.” He wiped the tears from your cheeks as he smiled down at you. “I accept your feelings. I will admit that I have those feelings for you too, even back then. Do you think you will stay? If so I would like to nurture our feelings for each other. If that's okay with you,” He added. 
His words ran through your head, the softness of them all. The unfiltered truth and the fact he would have chosen you, he would have dropped anything and everything for you. The fact that you were that important to him. You were that special.
 “Yes, I would like that very much.” 
You had both, in your own ways, ran from each other. The mutual pining was too much to handle, the thoughts of him not liking you back and his of you not wanting to date forcing you two apart. But it was like fate, or maybe the wind had brought you two back together. It was like some invisible force had pushed you together knowing that it was meant to be.
Yet still, you wish, you wished either of you had told the other. You two would have been together soon and it would have saved you both a lot of heartaches. But now you both knew, knew about the feelings for one another. Now you two could flame the fire between you two without the uncertainty. 
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raideneiseuthymia · 2 years
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Truelove of Dawn
Summary: You’re trying to catch Crystalflies at Dawn Winery as Diluc watches. 
Warning(s): None! 
Pairing(s): Diluc Ragnvindr x GN!Reader
Word count: 840 
A/N: I think its trash that Diluc doesn’t exist and he’s not my lover. I also think its trash i have to come up with my own writing ideas omfg. Anyways this is short and just a random idea i had. Sumn short and sweet, enjoy!
------
“I told you – I know what I'm doing.” 
“And somehow, I don't believe you.” 
Diluc watched in amusement as you tried your best to catch the glowing body of the crystalflies. Their tiny bodies fluttering past you as they tried to escape your grasp, which they were excelling at. They were miniature escape artists. 
“Why are they so fast,” You practically whined as you quickly tried to move around the vineyard to capture the tiny creature. You had been out here with Diluc for about thirty minutes, the sun had already set an hour or two ago and you were dead set on catching one of these elemental butterflies for its core. 
“It’s been, like, an hour and I haven't caught a single one,” you exaggerated. Sweat had begun to coat your face as you tried to catch the elemental beings. “What are you staring at?” You asked, a small pout on your face as you turned and saw the redhead staring at you. When your eyes caught his eyes on you, he quickly turned away but he was already caught. 
He blushed, his ears burning as he responded. “Ah, nothing. I just find it amusing that these tiny creatures escape you so quickly.” That was the half-truth, the other half that he refused to admit out loud was he was admiring your beauty. The glow of the tiny crystalflies made your eyes sparkle and illuminated your face in the night and he couldn't help but stare at how beautiful you looked. 
“Yeah well, we can't all be tall and fast.” You rolled your eyes as you tried your best to sneak up on the anemo creature that had begun descending again. “I honestly think you’re scaring them away.” You joked, frowning your brow as it disappeared just as you were about to grab it. 
Diluc grabbed your hand as he caught you before you tripped over the bucket on the ground. “I wouldn't need to be out here if you weren't so clumsy,” he joked, returning your humor. He made sure you were steady before he let you go. 
“I think you just like being around me.” 
“That I do, if I didn't then we wouldn't be dating.” 
Your cheeks grew hot at his words. He never failed to make you blush by saying such things, it was like he was announcing to the world that you two were together, not that you minded. “Well, you’re in luck because I like your company too.” 
“No, No,” You groaned as you felt water droplets on your face, the moment slightly ruined by your displeasure. It didn't take long for the rain to pick up, in a matter of seconds you were drenched. The rain pelted at your skin as you looked at the disappearing crystalflies in defeat. You hadn't caught a single one. Their small bodies leaving traces of elemental residue behind as they dispersed. 
“Come, you’re going to get sick,” Diluc urged, his hands resting on your shoulder as he sensed your disappointment. “They’ll be back once the rain stop then you can resume trying to capture them again.” 
He knew they always returned, they liked being around the grapes or more so concentrated Anemo energy but regardless of why they always returned to his winery he knew they would be back and you would be free again to capture as many as you’d like. 
“But I wanted a crystal core,” You pouted as you looked up at the sky. Of course, it would rain while you were outside trying to capture something. It was just your luck.
Diluc removed his jacket, using it as a makeshift umbrella for you two sheltering you from the rain. “May I ask why you want one so badly?” 
“I just wanted to keep it with me, it’ll be like I'm bringing you with me when we’re apart,” You admitted looking at the ground. The winery was like your second home, it also reminded you of Diluc because it was a big part of him. So you wanted a crystal core from here, to bring “Diluc” wherever you go. 
Diluc took your hand into his, a smile on his face as he placed the tiny core in your hand. “There you go then, I caught this one for you while you were chasing your own,” he chuckled. His chest grew warm as watched your face light up. 
“Oh Diluc, you’re such a gentleman,” you laughed. Your smile beaming as you examined the core, excited to have had one even if you weren't the one who caught it. You placed a kiss on the corner of his mouth. “Thank you, my love.” 
He blushed once more. “No need to thank me, now we should really get inside before we both get sick,” He urged as the rain only grew heavier with each passing second. Diluc knew once he saw the smile that was resting on your face that he would do whatever it took to see you smile like that once again. 
“Okay, Okay!” 
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raideneiseuthymia · 2 years
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I LOVE YOUR WRITING SO MUCH!!! I'm a big diluc simp bro and the only 2 fics u wrote made my day so much!!! Please never stop writing
I…am going to cry so hard rn. Please, I haven’t written in so long and it makes me so happy that you love my writing, thank you so much. I too love Diluc he’s grown on me so much recently!! If you ever wanna send a request in for him feel free!! Thank you again, this ask means the world to me fr
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raideneiseuthymia · 2 years
Text
Old Friends
Summary: You haven’t been back to the land of freedom in years, you find yourself in Angle Share trying to find shelter from the cold and you run in to your childhood best friend Diluc Ragnvindr.
Warning(s): None! just some platonic vibes
Pairing(s): Diluc Ragnvindr, GN!Reader 
Word count: 2,226
Inspiration(s): Some prompts from THIS post! 
A/N: This bout to be a Diluc blog atp i’m scared and 3 fics in 3 days? Terrified rn. I thought this was fr gonna be like 500 words help me. Anyways, feel free to send in requests, headcanons or not, I dont really have any ideas running in my brain so im always open to hear yours! 
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The night was cold, the cool breeze of Mondstadts wind nipped at your skin making you shiver. You hadn't been back to your birthland since you were a child. Your parents moved away and of course, you followed but now you were older, you wanted to explore. 
Some part of you missed the land of freedom. You missed the friends you had here, but you doubted they remembered you, it had been a long time since then. You missed the home you grew up in, the breeze that made you feel like anything you wanted to do was possible. The winds had even carried you back, they carried you home. 
Your hands rubbed against your arms, goosebumps covered your skin as you tried to find any way to keep your body warm. The center of the city was almost completely absent of people, night had fallen a few hours ago so it was to be expected, but you had hoped a shop would be open so you could purchase a jacket of some sorts…or a blanket you weren't going to be picky. 
It was just your luck to arrive so late. 
You could hear the sound of people talking nearby and that's where your feet took you. People sat outside a small Tavern, drinking and laughing with each other. You smiled to yourself, of course! A tavern would be open later than everyone else. Your luck had just turned up in a matter of seconds. Even if it was just for a few minutes, anything to get out of the cold. 
Opening the wooden door you let out a pleased sigh as the warmth from inside rushed against your bare skin. It felt wonderful. The bartender had his back to you as he cleaned glass so you made the choice to seat yourself at the bar. You began rummaging through the little satchel that held your mora. 
“What can I get you?” 
“Uh Yes, I’ll take a,” Your voice trailed off as you glanced up at the menu, you weren't familiar with Mondstadts drinks, “A Grey Valley Sunset please.” 
“Y/n?” 
Your eyes shifted to the man in front of you as you heard your name. You finally got a good look at the man standing in front of you. His red hair stood out the most but when you locked eyes with him you were sure this was your childhood best friend. 
“Diluc?!” A smile formed on your face as you recognized him. “I-I did not expect to run into you tonight,” You laughed, your excitement getting the best of you. You didn't think anyone would recognize you, let alone find your childhood best friend as you tried to find shelter from the cold air. 
“What are you doing here?” He asked as the initial shock wore off and he began mixing your drink together. His hands flowed like water, in fluid motions as he mixed the drink he knew by heart. 
“Well, I’ve been traveling Teyvat and I thought that I’d visit…home.” You hesitated to call the land of freedom your home. You hadn't been here in so long but when you set foot on the nation's grass it truly felt like you were home. “Perhaps see some childhood friends as well,” You laughed, taking a sip of your drink as he sat it in front of you muttering that it was on the house. 
“Well,” He chuckled getting back to cleaning the rest of the glasses in front of him. “You achieved your objective.” 
The next hour was spent with you and Diluc catching up. Usually, he was never one for small talk but he was curious about what you had been up to all these years. He learned of your travels and your family. He told you about how he obtained his vision. You even learned of his father's passing and him becoming the tycoon of Mondstadts wine industry, which was ironic since he himself hates wine. 
He told you that he too traveled around Teyvat, he told you of his favorite places around the world in all the seven nations. He even told you that no matter where he went it was like the wind was always calling him back home, which you related to. 
“Well as much as I’d like to continue talking, it's an hour past closing time,” Diluc smiled as he checked the clock. He was so engrossed in his conversation with you that he completely missed the time passing. 
Your eyes widened at his words. You had kept him working late. “Oh Archons, I’m sorry Diluc!” A string of apologies fell from your mouth as you pulled the little bag at your side into your hands. 
“I already said it's on me, if you’d like you can pay me back another time, okay?” Diluc’s hand caught yours as you went to rummage through the satchel wrapped around you. 
You gave Diluc a sheepish smile, he knew you too well. You were grateful for his hospitality, in all honesty, you were running low on mora so you were trying to save any way you could. “Yeah, yeah okay, thank you Diluc.” you let out an airy laugh as you spoke. He was still the gentleman he was when you two were children. “I’m sorry again for keeping you.” 
“No worries,” He replied. He walked from behind the bar and pulled his coat on. His eyes fell on you as you stood from your stool and pushed it into the bar. Embarrassment was evident on your face as you thought about the way you had kept him from going home.
Diluc cleared his throat as you whisked past him out the door. He turned the lights of the tavern off and closed the door behind him, making sure the lock it with the keys he had pulled from his pocket. “I’d prefer to walk you to wherever you’ll be staying; I want to make sure you arrive safe,” Diluc stated, his eyes watching you closely as he turned around to look at you. 
“About that,” your hand rubbed the back of your neck as you looked away from him. “I got here rather late…so the inns are all closed until the morning, so I was just going to…walk around?” your words sounded more like a question as you spoke them with hesitation, you hadn't known what you were going to do until the morning. 
His brow frowned as he listened to you, his gloved hand coming to his chin as he thought. “You have nowhere to stay.” His mind raced with solutions. “You can't stay out here, it’s not safe,” He shook his head as he thought about all the possibilities of what could happen if he did leave you out here for the night. 
“I’ll be fine don't worry! I can take care of myself, I promise.” 
Diluc only shook his head at your words. “It’s not that I don't trust in your capabilities to take care of yourself out here,” He pinched the bridge of his nose as he closed his eyes. “After all you have traveled all this way by yourself, so you are plenty capable. I would just feel better if I knew you would be safe.” 
“Diluc–” 
“You can stay with me at the winery,” He cut you off before you could protest. He opened his eyes to look at you, he could see the embarrassment cross your face as he offered to open the door to his house to you. “There is plenty of guest rooms available, perhaps the bedrooms would like to have someone finally in them,” he joked, trying his best to lighten the feelings you were having. He could sense that you were feeling bad that he was offering you so much after just meeting all these years late. 
You looked at the ground and bit your lip, you had two options. Decline his offer and sit out here in the cold until morning and hope a inn had a room open or accept his offer and have a nice warm bed to sleep in tonight. 
“You can think of it as a… sleepover.” He mentally laughed to himself at the thought. “Yes, you can sleep over, it'll be like when we were kids.” 
You smiled at his words, you did sleep over a lot as a child. You begged his father and your parents all the time to let you sleep over. “Fine, you make a compelling case Master Diluc Ragnvindr,” You joked, using the title most used with him. 
He only rolled his eyes at you before stepping around you and gesturing to the stairwell. “Follow me then, try not to fall too far behind, I don't want you getting lost. It’s been years since you've come to visit me.”
The walk out of the city was quiet, the silence between you two was comforting. There was no obligation to talk, just basking in each other's presence after all these years. You would catch yourself glancing up to Diluc every so often to observe him. He had grown so tall since you last saw him. You can’t believe the little boy who was shorter than you now towered over you in height. It was almost unfair. 
His eyes stayed stuck on the scenery around you two, his eyes scanning for any sign of danger lurking around. He didn't only have to watch out for himself but you as well, not that he minded. Now that you were here at his side he only realized how much he missed your company, your friendship. 
When you moved away when you two were children he was very upset by it. He had locked himself away in his room for two days before Crepus could talk him into coming out and explaining that you had to leave and handing him the note you had left for him. He distinctly remembered the little crinkle in the pages where your tears had fallen. 
The only sound was the wind whistling and the rustling of leaves. Diluc couldn't help but noticed the way you shivered, your teeth clattering together as your body did its best to keep yourself warm. “Here,” He began shrugging off his jacket laughing to himself at the situation. He recalled when you two were children, you had always forgotten to bring a jacket as well. “You can borrow my jacket.”
“No, No! You've already done too much for–”
“Nonsense,” He muttered, placing the jacket on your shoulders. He could clearly see you were freezing as the wind whipped against your skin. You were trying to be polite, Diluc respected that but he wouldn't allow you to get sick because of your own stubbornness. 
You couldn't deny that the jacket felt nice, it was so warm. You eyed the man next to you as your hands grabbed at the opening of the coat, pulling it closed you let out a sigh of relief as the cold could no longer enter it. “What if you get cold?” You asked. 
He only shook his head and gave you a little smile. “Don’t worry, Y/n. My pyro vision makes me warmer than most. So I’ll be fine until we get to Dawn Winery.” He gestured to the vision that laid against his hip, you had completely forgotten about it. “We’re almost there anyways.” 
You could see the roof of the winery just as he said that. Your lips parted as you took in the view of crystalfiles flying around the vineyard. Their glowing body illuminating all the grapes around them. The scene was truly beautiful. 
“All the maids will probably be asleep so I’ll show you where you can sleep,” Diluc muttered as he let you take in the view. He took your hand into his as he pulled you along the path, the moon lit your view but it was kind of hard to see and he didn't want you to trip. 
“Here we are,” He muttered opening the door. 
Your eyes took in the home before you. The dining room with many chairs, the office in the corner, and the stairwell leading to the second floor. It almost looked the same as you remembered it, even Crepus’s art was still hung on the wall. Not much had changed since you had last been here. 
“Follow me.” He made his way up the grand staircase, his head turning back to you every so often to make sure you were following him, he didn't want you to get lost. He stopped at a door at the end of the corridor. “You can have this room for however long you intended to stay.” 
You almost laughed at his words. Of course, this was his plan all along to make it a ‘sleep over’ but instead offer for you to stay here until you want to leave. 
Diluc pointed to the door across from the one in front of you. “That is my room, if you need anything feel free to ask me or Adeline, I’ll introduce you two in the morning. Do you have a change of clothes to sleep in? If not, you can take whatever you’d like from my clothes.” 
“You’re too nice Diluc,” You smiled as you shrugged off his coat and handed it to him. 
“What are best friends for?” 
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raideneiseuthymia · 2 years
Text
Crimson Eyes
Summary: Basically, Diluc finally lets his emotions show and wonders if you wish he was a different person and you reassure him that you love him just the way he is. 
Warning(s): Crying, Hurt/comfort 
Pairing(s): Diluc Ragnvindr X GN!Reader
Word count: 800
Inspiration(s): A random prompt I found > “Do you wish I was different?” 
A/N: Basically, something is wrong with me, and I love this man. I saw a dialogue prompt and decided I was gonna write for Diluc ‘cause perhaps behind his facade he believes something is wrong with him. This is also very short I’m SORRY!! Also if yall didnt know i suck so bad at titles LMAO 
---- “Do you wish I was different?” 
The question had come out barely above a whisper, if it hadn't been silent you were sure you would have missed it. The quietness of the words didn't lighten the weight they held. Your heart ached at the words you heard your lover speak. Had you made him feel like that? 
“Diluc…” Your voice was soft as you slowly approached him. He sat in a chair that had occupied a portion of your shared room, his back facing you and his face buried in his hands. Carefully placing your hands on his shoulders then letting them slide down his chest before resting your chin on his head. “I don’t wish you were different, never have I wished for that.” 
You could feel the wetness of his tears falling upon your knuckles; he was crying. The outburst he just had made him upset with himself. His outbursts were scarce, you never blamed Diluc for them. Sometimes he couldn’t control it, and sometimes he was just so worried he couldn't think before speaking. He had always taken accountability for the things he said when angry, he had always apologized and they were always sincere. It wasn’t like he had them on purpose, he would never hurt you intentionally. Never. 
“But I–” 
“No, Diluc do not go down that road,” Your tone was stern, concern laced in it. “There is nothing inherently wrong with you. There is nothing to want or wish to change about you. Sometimes… sometimes you just get overwhelmed and I understand that. You are only human, a very kind one at that.” 
You placed a kiss on his head before moving around his hunched form. Crouching in front of him you grabbed his wrists and pulled them away from his face. Red strands of hair had messily fallen around him, sheltering his eyes from yours. His upper body shook as he tried to hide the fact he was crying; he had such a hard time opening up and letting you in. You tucked the loose strands of hair behind his ears, giving him a soft smile as he finally looked at you. 
“I know that it's hard for you sometimes, and perhaps because of the things you have gone through you think you are inherently unworthy of love but Archons, that is not true.” You tilted his chin up and placed a soft kiss on his lips. 
Placing your forehead against his you let out a soft whisper, “If only I could change the way you see yourself, then perhaps you wouldn't wonder those things. If you could see yourself through my eyes, then you would truly understand.” Your hands found their way to his cheeks where you wiped away his tears. “I love you, Diluc Ragnvind, I love you. There is nothing that can change that. I do not wish you were different, I love you just the way you are. I always have.” 
Diluc let out an airy chuckle as he put his hand over yours. Somehow you always knew how to make him feel better when he got himself in these moods. “I’m sorry, my love, for my outburst. As well as having you see me cry.” 
“You don't have to apologize for being human Diluc, you are allowed to show emotions with me. I will never hold that against you. I will love you even when you are at your lowest.” 
Diluc bit his lip as more tears threatened to spill, those words hitting him hard. He had always locked his “bad” emotions away until he was by himself, afraid they would scare you away but here you were. You were here, by his side comforting him. Nothing but love and kindness in your eyes as you looked at him. 
Warmth filled his chest as he stared at you, his thoughts running a mile a minute. You made him warm, he didn't even know that was possible. How could your love for him make him warmer than his pyro vision already did? How could someone love him so much even in his broken state? And how was it humanly possible for him to love you just as much, if not more than you loved him? 
Panic erupted in your chest as you watched new tears spill from his eyes. Had you said something wrong? “Hey, hey, Diluc? Why are you crying again?” Your thumb wiped away the tears just as they fell from his pretty crimson eyes. 
“It's nothing,” He laughed, sniffling as he tried his best to get himself to stop crying; he was failing horribly but this time he was not crying from sadness. He pulled you close to him and placed a hasty kiss on your lips before smiling at you softly. “I just love you.” 
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raideneiseuthymia · 2 years
Text
Regardless
Summary: You are part of the knights, you were sent on a mission and hadn't returned when you were supposed to. Turns out you were in an accident that has left you scarred, part of you is worried he will look at you differently but Diluc loves you regardless and he wants you to know that.
Warning(s): Mentions of injury, blood, crying, mentions of anxiety things along that nature but nothing too graphic.
Pairing(s): Diluc Ragnvindr X Gn!Reader
Word count: 3,762
Inspiration(s): 'The 30th' by Billie Eilish
A/N: NO ONE LOOK AT ME I'M SCARED!! This is my first fic back from not writing for so long I'm so nervous to post!! I've recently become a Diluc lover help! Please Enjoy!! Also, this is not proofread I'm so sorry lmao
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Diluc’s stride was long as he walked through the center of Mondstadt. His brow frowned as he looked at the various Knights rushing around in all directions. If he wasn't on his way to Jean’s office he was sure he would have investigated himself. The look of worry on their faces as well as the anxiety that was magnifying the air around them was concerning but he wasn't going to make them late for his meeting with The Acting Grand Master. 
“I'm very sorry Mr. Diluc, Acting Grand Master is out at the moment, she asked me to wait here for you and give you her apologies.” The young guard looked nervous as he stood in front of Diluc, he was intimidated by the tall redhead. 
Diluc’s brow crinkled together as he wondered what had come up. Jean would only push their meeting aside if it was for something extremely important that required her attention immediately. “Hmm, very well, Thank you,” Diluc muttered as he tilted his head forward grateful to the young knight before turning around and making his way outside of the Knights of favonious headquarters. 
The disappointment was evident on his face as he walked down towards Angle share. He was hoping the meeting with Jean would generate some answers as to your absence. Sure he had known they sent you out on a mission, he was more than aware of your ability to handle yourself out on the field but you were due to return three days ago and with no letter from you, he was slightly more than worried. But he refused to let his mind get the better of the situation, refusing to let it go to the dark place it usually did. 
“Good Afternoon Charles.” Diluc opened the doors to his business sending a greeting to his trusted bartender who stood behind the bar wiping down glasses. 
“Pleasure to see you Master Diluc, I assumed you’d be here later?” There was a question hidden in his voice. He was sure Diluc said he would be here later to take over the bar tonight before closing but it was almost two hours before closing time. 
Diluc nodded as he took off his coat and hung it up before opening the wooden slab to get behind the bar. “Yes, something came up and the other party was unable to show up for the meeting. So I decided to come on early and help you before you closed.”
Time passed rather slowly as the bar slowly cleared out for closing. Diluc found it rather weird how he didn't see a single Knight around, usually, they had stopped by, and more often than not off-duty knights would be found here as well but there simply wasn't a single one around. It was rather odd, to say the least. 
Diluc’s time was spent clearing glasses, helping the drunks out, and making his customers pay their tabs. The only reason he was in the city was to ask Jean about you and since he was in the city he was at the tavern to take inventory to know what he needed to restock. 
A light knock at the tavern door had caught his attention as he absently thought about the events of today. He was confused, who was knocking at the door this hour knowing they were closed?
He sat the glass he was holding down next to the other getting a small ‘clink’ as it hit the other glasses. He didn’t want to be rude and just leave the person outside in hopes they would go away, the lights in the tavern were on so they most likely knew someone was inside. There was also some hope that it was you knocking on the door, returning from your mission to greet him and he would never keep you waiting. 
Diluc cleared his voice before he opened the door. “I’m sorry but we are closed, oh Jean it's you,” His demeanor quickly changed as he looked up at the person who knocked only to see Jean. “What do I owe the pleasure?” He asked, anxiety was bubbling in his stomach and he didn't quite know why. Maybe it was because it was unusual for her to meet him at such a late hour and if it wasn't urgent she would just send a letter. 
She looked tired, she had been crying. 
“Diluc…” her voice trailed off, she was far too tired to be formal. It was unusual for her. “I know we were supposed to meet today but I got pulled aside for something very important.” 
“I was informed. Is everything okay?”
“It does concern you Diluc; can we sit down?” 
His heartbeat picked up, it was almost like his heart was in his throat now. She was scaring him, the way she spoke sounded serious and sad like something terrible had happened. She was speaking to him like she was carefully phrasing how she spoke like she did when his father had passed. 
He pulled out a wooden chair for Jean as she made her way into the tavern. Tears were filling her eyes. 
“What's wrong?” This was no time for formalities, the anxiety was too much for him and he didn't care how he spoke. “What’s happened are you okay?”
“Yes I-I’m fine, it's just I have something to tell you but I don't know how to say it without startling you.” She wiped her eyes as she looked at the floor. She couldn't get herself to look him in the eyes. She didn't dare. 
“Spit it out,” His tone was demanding and harsher than he intended. 
“Y/n,” She started, almost unable to form words. She truly didn't know how to break the news to Diluc, you are the love of his life how could she tell him? You were also her best friend and if it hurt her this much then how could he break the news? “They, um, I knew you wanted information on their whereabouts and I was going to tell you I had sent out a group to follow intel on their whereabouts led by Amber and-” 
He could almost piece it together himself, he didn't need any more explanation. The amount of Knights rushing around, the way no knights were at the tavern, Jean missing their meeting. It all came flooding in. The feeling of dread, the flashbacks of his father, the pain in his heart that was almost excruciating. His eyes closed, he was holding himself back from just letting out a sob. He was sure you were gone by now. 
“They’re not dead, Diluc don't think that please,” She cried letting her own tears fall once more. She knew he was thinking that she could sense it. She thought you were dead too, in the state you came back in she was sure you were gone. She was thankful you were alive and when she saw you she almost fell to her knees, you looked lifeless. She did nothing but thank Barbatoes that you were alive as she rushed you to her sister. “Amber had found them and brought them back immediately but the condition they’re in is pretty bad but they’re alive and Barbara said They’re expected to make it.” 
Relief flooded his system as he quickly wiped his tears, he stood from his chair almost knocking it over in the process. “When can I see them?”
“I would say tomorrow morning, the condition we found them in…Barbara was only able to heal so much and they haven't woken up yet. Barbara and the others they’re still working to help Y/n. There are guards outside in protection so it would be best if you waited a few more hours but I promise you can see them as soon as the sunrises.” 
“Fine.” 
Needless to say after that meeting Diluc did not get any work done and he did not sleep. If only he had gone to see what the knights were doing he wouldn't be pacing right now, he wouldn't still be choking back sobs hours later and he wouldn't be shaking with anxiety. It took so much for him to not storm into the cathedral and demand they show you to him but he knew you would be taken care of there, but he could keep you safe. 
His mind was racing with “what if’s.” What if it happened to you on a different day? What if they didn't find you? What if you hadn't gone? You would be safe. What if he accompanied you? What if you weren't part of the Knights? What if you were safe that night of your accident? What if you were in his arms safe? 
What if you died? 
To say he doubted the Knights would be an understatement. They didn't get word from you for days and it took them three days after your supposed arrival to find you. They lacked common sense and it ticked him off. But the logical part of his brain understood where they came from. You were a scout and not hearing from you for a few days past your scheduled arrival was normal, but his heart, the heart that held you so close and so dear it couldn't help but feel differently. 
When it came to you…Diluc was always led with his emotions. 
He couldn't sit still and when the sun came up he was out the door. He pulled his coat off the hook and was practically running through the city square towards the cathedral, he pushed past the early risers brushing them off as they said hello. He almost felt guilty but he was on a mission to be by your side. He needed to see you to truly believe you we’re okay. 
The knights that were posted outside almost blocked him from entering before they realized who he was, quickly apologizing they opened the doors to let him in. He was met by pitiful looks from the sisters before he was greeted by barbara who gave him a rundown of your injuries once more as she led him to where you were. The whole walk she had only gotten a nod from him in response, she knew he was itching to see you so she quickly bid him farewell and told him to call her if you or him needed anything. 
Diluc hesitated to enter the infirmary that was in the cathedral, he was told how severe your wounds were,  Barbara was unable to fully heal them from how deep they were, and even if she had there would still be scars as well as the amount of blood you lost, it was a miracle you were alive. If that had found you a day later or even a few hours before there was a big chance you wouldn’t be here and instead they would have brought home your corpse. 
“Diluc?” You let out a soft cry as you turned your head to face him, it almost sounded as if you thought you were imagining him. You could see the tears welling in his eyes as he looked at you, there was also fear trying to be hidden in those beautiful Crimson eyes. “I’m scared.”
You turned away from him as a stray tear fell down your face. Bandages had been wrapped around a majority of your body, the sisters had let you know there was a fifty percent chance you were blind in one eye. When you were found there was a large gash across your face and there was an even larger chance that you would be scarred where the blade had struck you. 
“Hey, you’re okay, I'm here,” his voice came out in a whisper, he had taken his glove off to hold your hand, being careful not to disturb any of the major injuries you had. He didn’t have the heart to admit he was scared too. He couldn't get himself to say it, to admit he had been afraid even before he got the news you were hurt. “I’m not going to leave you,” He promised. 
“I don’t remember how I got here, I don't even remember what happened,” You cried, it hurt to move but you couldn't stop the tears and the sobs from ripping through your chest. The fear in your heart and the knowledge that you could have been gone. You could have gone on that mission and never returned to see the man you loved. There was relief in your heart that the man next to you was here, he was real. 
You didn't know how long you had been gone in all honesty, all you could remember was laying in the grass for who knows how many days. There were a few dandelions around and a soft breeze, there was pain erupting all over your body and no matter how hard you tried to open your eye you just couldn't. After a while, there was no pain and you were sure you had heard Dilucs voice calling for you, you could almost smell the smoke and whine on the wind. Before your eyes closed one last time you could have sworn he was there, he had rescued you but now you wondered if you were just hallucinating because you were dying. 
The man was surprised you hadn’t remembered but he almost thought it was a blessing from the Archons that your memory of the gruesome battle was erased from your memories. You had fought for your life, for days. 
“You don't have to remember my love, you’re okay that's all that matters. You’ve come back to me that is all I care about.” He was trying so hard not to let his tears fall but he could feel them making their way down his cheek as he cleared your own. He didn't care that he sounded selfish at this moment, he loved you with all his heart and he truly didn't know what he’d do if you had gone. He didn’t know if he could handle another loss. “You’re alive.”
His thumb ran across your cheek as he finally let his tears fall, he couldn't hold them in. He was so happy to see you here, in the morning sunlight alive. 
“You’re alive,” he repeated the words once more, they were more to reassure himself. Your unbandaged hand grabbed his wrist, a half smile on your face as you freely let your tears fall. He knew he should be the one reassuring you right now but he was grateful, the way you calmed him always blew his mind. You didn't even have to say anything. 
“You look so pretty ‘Luc,” You whispered as your hand moved up his arm to wipe his tears as he wiped yours. You could tell he had been crying, you could see the pain in his eyes as he looked at you. You never wished to cause him pain like this.
He let a small smile grace his face as he looked at you, a slight blush dusting his cheeks. “Stop trying to make me feel better, it's not me who’s in a hospital bed,” he joked lightly his hand moving from your face to your hair. He pushed the stray locks away from your eye. 
He drank in all your features, the beautiful color of your eye, the small scars that had been on your face from previous missions. The curve of your jawline and your ear hidden by pieces of your hair, the way your eyelashes hit your cheeks as your eyes closed. He took in the details of the bandages that covered your face, the blood that stained them in a few places. He observed the way you adjusted your face to hide the bandages from his view in insecurity. 
“And I’m not the one who looks pretty, you are,” He said in truth. He could tell that you were scared, not only because of what happened to you but you were afraid of what he thought. 
That day had to be one of the scariest of his life. It had been months since the accident and he had been by your side ever since. He had taken you back and forth from your appointments with barbara every day until your wounds were fully healed. He had taken such good care of you, not letting anyone take up the task of making sure you were okay. As your boyfriend, it was his duty, not that he found it to be a job. 
Since then you had quit the knights, he had tried hard to get you to change your mind knowing you had worked so hard to get to where you were, knowing that perhaps it was impulse driving you to quit but when you put your foot down and told him to stop he did. He saw the way your mood changed since then, the way you kept yourself hidden, the way you had little faith in your capabilities. But that man, your man was adamant about helping your regain trust in yourself. 
Your wounds had healed nicely but as Barbara said, there was a scar on your face, it lead from your jaw through your lips up to your hairline. It healed nicely considering how deep it was, you were grateful for barbara, it was nothing more than discolored scar tissue rather than thick scar tissue. You had gone partially blind in that eye but you didn't find it hindered you that much. 
Your eyes were locked on the ceiling, the light from the moon illuminated the room. You were lost in thought, thinking about that day once more, wondering where you had gone wrong, but no matter how hard you thought back you truly didn't remember what happened. 
You turned your face towards the man sleeping next to you, his light snores filling your ear as he stirred in his sleep. His red hair messily laid across his face, he looked peaceful and beautiful as the light lit up his sleeping face. His arm was wrapped tightly around your waist as if he was afraid if he lightened his grip you would be gone. 
You could feel the tears as you thought about him and the day you woke up. You were all alone in that room scared but then he arrived and you knew it would all be okay. He was so gentle and kind with you, he was so loving. The months after were hard but he stayed with you just like you had done with him all those years ago, when he kept you at arm's length away afraid of letting you close. You were sure that you had fallen in love with him all over again because of the accident. 
But doubt clouded your brain. What if he didn't love you? What if he found you ugly now that your face was scarred? 
“Is there something on your mind?” His voice startled you, you were so lost in thought you didn't see him stir awake or his eyes flutter open to drink in your moonlit face. His hand moved from your waist to brush the stray locks from your face, he wanted to get a good look at you. 
“No it's nothing,” You lied, “I was just admiring your beauty.” 
His brow frowned as he looked at you, usually, he would love the compliment, blush even because your compliments always made him feel warm but now he could see this compliment while most likely true was also covering something up. “You know you can tell me anything my love, whatever is bothering you…if it is in my power I shall try to dispose of it.” 
You almost wanted to cry at those words, he loved you so much. 
Looking away you answered him, “It's just…what if you think I’m not as…attractive as before? What if people say something about you dating me? I get weird looks from people, I don't know if they’re pity or something else but I see the way they look at you too — the way they look at us.”
Diluc propped himself up on his elbow, sleep quickly leaving his body as he listened to what troubled you. His fingers grabbed your chin, forcing you to look at him. His lips found yours before moving to your face and the scar that you were so worried about him finding ugly. 
“I don’t care for gossip, I don't care what others think either,” He whispered, his eyes locking with yours so you could read them. He wanted you to know without a shadow of a doubt that what he was saying was true. How could he not find you beautiful? Even all those months ago while you were in the hospital bed covered in bandages and blood you had looked beautiful. “You are so pretty – breathtaking even. This scar–” his lips pressed to it once again before landing back on your mouth. “ – does not change the way I see you. You had scars before I met you, they are just a part of you. They show who you are and the battles you've fought. Do you think my scars are ugly?” 
A smile was on your face as you shook your head no, watching as his eyes went from sincere to teasing. “Oh, so you find them hot?” His eyebrow raised as he felt the warmth crawl its way up your cheek. 
“Maybe,” you laughed pushing his hand off your face. Your hand found its way to his neck where you pulled him in for another kiss. Butterflies erupted in your stomach as he returned your kiss before you pulled away. 
He rested his forehead against yours watching as his red hair fell around you two sheltering you from the room, from the world, and the light off the moonlight that was seeping in from behind the drapes. It was just you and him in this moment. 
Diluc felt his lips upturn as he watched that bright smile illuminate your face. Sometimes you looked the same just like you did before the accident. Your eyes were so full of happiness, not a care in the world on your mind at this very moment. These moments made him hopeful that one day you will not worry about what people think when they look at you once again. He knew you would never be exactly the same, either way, he would love you regardless. There was nothing in this world that could change that.  
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